Words on Bathroom Walls

by Julia Walton

Adam is a pretty regular teen, except he's navigating high school life while living with paranoid schizophrenia. His hallucinations include a cast of characters that range from the good (beautiful Rebecca) to the bad (angry Mob Boss) to the just plain weird (polite naked guy). An experimental drug promises to help him hide his illness from the world. When Adam meets Maya, a fiercely intelligent girl, he desperately wants to be the normal, great guy that she thinks he is. But as the miracle drug begins to fail, how long can he keep this secret from the girl of his dreams?

Genres: Young Adult, Mental Health, Contemporary, Romance, Fiction, Mental Illness, Realistic Fiction

304 pages, Hardcover

First published July 4, 2017

About the author

Julia Walton received her MFA in creative writing from Chapman University. When she's not reading or baking cookies, she's indulging in her profound love of Swedish Fish, mechanical pencils, and hobbit-sized breakfasts. Julia lives in Huntington Beach, California, with her husband and daughter.

Reviews

[Emma Giordano · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed this book. A funny, honest, and relatable read depicting what it's like to live with mental illness.

CW: schizophrenia

Words on Bathroom Walls is told through journal entries Adam is writing to his therapist, as he remains non-verbal during their sessions. It took me a bit to adjust to the storytelling method. While most journal/diary novels are directed at the journal itself or anyone who is reading it, Adam's passages are directed at one specific person, therefore, the reader somewhat assumes the role of his therapist. I admit, it was strange at first (I mean, how often does the narrator get angry at the READER?) but it became very natural by the end of the story. I adored Adam's voice - He is unfiltered and expressive through every chapter. He strikes the correct balance between suffering and humor which made the story immensely enjoyable.

I really adored the portrayal of schizophrenia in this story. In my opinion, this story stands out from other novels dealing with this disorder as we follow a main character who is able to distinguish between their hallucinations and reality due to their current position in treatment while still suffering the debilitating effects of this illness. Adam is extremely self-aware which is often a rare commodity in mental health novels, but is was a strong element of the story. I feel his position can be summed up with, "I understand that what is in front of me is a hallucination and not visible to anyone else, but it does not change the fact that I do see it and it is extremely disruptive" which is a very unique, but very real, way to display how some experience this disorder. I also appreciated the author's effort to not only show readers how schizophrenia manifests for certain people, but also to inform readers on the illness in general. The authors explains the difference between positive and negative symptoms, notes some of the side effects of real drugs used to treat this illness (despite the fact that this book centers around a completely fictional drug), and debunks many of the harmful stereotypes surrounding schizophrenia countless times throughout the novel. I especially loved how things are wrapped up at the end of the story. There is currently no medical cure for schizophrenia and that is reflected in the story, but it still ends with a message of hope and perseverance. I am thoroughly pleased with the representation in this novel. Adam's story touched my heart and related to my own experiences in such a wonderful way.

Another big positive of this novel for me is the main relationship. I found Adam and Maya's relationship to be one of the most realistic high school relationships I have read in YA, and a very healthy one at that. Of course, a large theme in this novel is that Adam refrains from revealing his diagnosis to Maya, and secret-keeping is not exactly a "healthy" behavior in relationships (but come on, it's young adult fiction), but they are consistently respectful of each other, entirely supportive, always willing to aid the other and go out of their way to comfort and defend each other. I appreciated that they actually began as good friends and developed into romantic feelings for one another over time. Personally, it was very reminiscent of my own relationship in high school, which is always pleasant to read. There is one passage in the beginning of the novel where Adam refers to Maya as "the cure" because his illness is more manageable when she's around, which is of course a theme I am vehemently against in mental health fiction. That being said, I feel the author chose this wording specifically to denounce this concept as the story progresses because Maya is most definitely not a cure for Adam's schizophrenia, she is merely a positive figure in Adam's life who brings him happiness as he provides the same for her. I would not at all consider this book to fall under the trope of "love-cure" - In my opinion, it's a great example of how to write love stories into mental health fiction.

I really really loved Words on Bathroom Walls and would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for more young adult mental health fiction novels. It is the perfect combination of funny, heart-breaking, and hopeful. Definitely a new fave!

[Larry H · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd rate this 4.5 stars.

Adam has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He knew something was wrong with him, and he's both horrified and relieved to know what it is. As much as it hurt to lose his friends, who all stopped talking to him after his diagnosis, he has a chance for a new start—he's going to attend a new school as a junior, and he's been enrolled in a promising drug trial which hopefully will help him manage his illness, or at least alleviate the anxiety he feels when he sees the people in his visions.

"I really didn't want to be crazy. Nobody wants to be crazy, but now that I know what's happening to me, now that I understand what's going on in my head, I don't want to think about what it means to know you're crazy. To know that your family knows you're crazy."

While starting a new school is always daunting, he's determined to keep his illness a secret so nobody treats him differently or starts to worry they can't be around him. He also has to struggle with keeping a brave face for his mother and stepfather, both of whom worry about him, but Adam knows that even his stepfather is a little concerned about their safety if things go awry. It's a lot of pressure, but he believes the drug will help him weather it.

As with almost anyone new in school, Adam must deal with a bully who believes he is better than anyone else because his parents are wealthy, but he also makes a good friend and tries keeping his head down as much as possible. And then he meets Maya—beautiful, fiercely intelligent and opinionated, and someone for whom Adam wants to remain well and act as "normally" as possible. But that means hiding a part of himself from her, even if she may be more observant than he realizes.

"I'm not afraid of telling Maya about me. At least not in the same way I'm afraid of losing control. It's just not something I want to think about too much. I want to keep her far enough away so she won't ever have to see me as I actually am. I don't want to lose my secrets, because they keep me safe...I guess I just don't want her to know the truth. I'm afraid of what she'd do with the information. I doubt she'd ever climb through my window again. She might even be afraid to be alone with me. It might ruin the way she looks at me with her side smile, the one that secretly makes me feel like I'm waking up on the first day of summer vacation."

Adam and Maya grow closer and closer, and their feelings for each other grow deeper and deeper. At the same time, the drug Adam has been taking starts failing, and it's making him more anxious, making his symptoms more vivid and less easy to hide. He's trying to hold it together the best he can, but with pressure from all sides, he's unsure how much longer he can keep his secret before people start to think of him differently, and their relationships change, something he fears more than his illness.

I've honestly never known anyone who was schizophrenic (or, I guess, never had anyone share their diagnosis), so I appreciated the unfiltered look at the illness that Words on Bathroom Walls gave me. This is a powerful, moving, emotional book which does a beautiful job capturing an adolescent's struggle with keeping up appearances, both for himself and those around him, and the pressures that causes.

This book really made me think. I realized how even our best intentions get outweighed by our inner fears and prejudices, no matter how hard we try. I also never thought about how a person living with an illness might feel if someone with the same illness does something wrong; in this case, Adam's feelings and those around him after the shooting in Sandy Hook, since the shooter was schizophrenic. What a powerful scene, one which really opened my eyes.

There was so much to like about this book. Julia Walton is a fantastic writer, and her characters were truly fascinating, even if they didn't always behave the way you hoped they might. Adam was insightful, sarcastic, and sensitive, but I didn't find him or his friends more erudite than typical teenagers. I also loved the fact that Walton had her characters react in what you think would be realistic ways to the situations around them.

My only criticism of the book was that some of the plot was really predictable, and that disappointed me a bit. One event I absolutely saw coming, and it irritated me when it actually happened, even though I know it was true to how that character would react. I also wondered if Walton was hinting that Adam's friend had some medical issues of his own, but then that storyline never picked up again, so I don't know whether that was intentional or not.

The truth is, though, those are minor little gripes. Words on Bathroom Walls is beautifully written and definitely will make you feel, and it may also make you think. It was a special book I'll think about for quite some time.

See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....

[Aj the Ravenous Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

An elaborate look into Adam’s schizophrenic mind. The reading experience is extraordinary. It was hilarious, heartbreaking and yet once again, very eye-opening.

“Harry ended up being fine. Nobody sent him to therapy or tried to give him pills. He just got to live in a world where everything he thought he’d heard and seen turned out to be real. Lucky bastard.”

It reminds me of Made You Up by Francesca Zappia which is up to now still in my top five favorite YA contemporaries and which portrayed a teenage girl’s schizophrenic mind. I’m very glad to finally have the perspective of a male character on the same issue. Words on the Bathroom Walls has now a spot in that same list too.

“And sometimes it’s just a feeling that someone somewhere is watching me, which I know is ridiculous. Why would anyone bother, right?”

It’s probably wrong to react this way but do forgive me if the contents of Adam’s journal entries he submits to his psychiatrist entertain me to no end. Being in Adam’s mind is a lot like watching a movie that congregates all genres but mostly comedy and fantasy. Except for Adam himself, I know it’s not at all amusing. It’s enough to make him sometimes think of shutting himself off completely. *sniffs* I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to Adam and for those who have the same condition as his to live life when there is always someone whispering (or yelling) to your ear what to do.

I empathize with him deeply and I wish there was anything I could do to make him feel better. I’m just glad the brilliantly perceptive Maya who I adore so much (and who is a Filipino so yay!) is always there to provide interesting distraction and I’m very happy that Adam has the right people (amazingly supportive parents and the sweetest geeky best friend) in his life who accept and love everything about him.

I also have to say how much I appreciate Adam’s head on approach in coping with his mental condition.

“I still see things I know I shouldn’t be seeing. The difference is that I know I shouldn’t be seeing them.”

Afraid of coming off as a jerk, he would even acknowledge the presence of the familiar cast of characters in his elaborate hallucinations.

“I won’t call them hallucinations anymore. It doesn’t really seem fair. They’re just corporeally challenged. Learned that from Harry Potter, too. J.K. Rowling is a fucking genius. Anyone who doesn’t think so is crazy.”

Most importantly, the book guides readers on how to connect with people who have schizophrenia, that what they need isn’t pity but understanding of how they see the world differently, that there is no reason to fear them and that they should earn the same sympathy as anyone who has any other kind of physical illness and as any person deserves. Do I still need to say it? Read it!

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great look at schizophrenia and the stress of living with a chronic condition for which there is no known cure. I think that’s really helpful especially since so many of the sentiments expressed here can be applied across multiple medical conditions. A lot of times in books we read that bright ending, or a magic potion at the end, but in reality, many conditions don’t currently have solutions and it’s important to have literature out there where we can see characters facing that on the page out in the open, not being swept under the rug, out of sight. A really important topic.

Adam is put into a drug trial for a new medication his doctors hope will help control the visions and voices in his head telling him to do things. He journals about his experiences. I loved the friendships and relationships of all types presented in this short novel. I thought the author did a really great job of presenting the struggles and fears, and also moments of hope.

[Just Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

****4 STARS****

Reviews and more at https://prettymessreading.com

I have a brother who has paranoia schizophrenia and he was diagnosed in his mid 20’s. We’ve had our ups and downs since so this book hit home for me.



Adam has tried everything under the sun to help live with schizophrenia but so far nothing has really worked. We gets a chance to be apart of a clinical trial for a new drug, it was a game changer. The medicine helps but the side effects may cost him more than just his mental well being.

The brilliant thing about Adam is that he understands that he is sick and with that understands comes a great deal of responsibility. He needs to keep his illness a secret from those outside of his immediate family. He is very much aware of how the world feels about the mentally ill – scared. He doesn’t want people to be scared of him and broke my heart reading his words, his truth.

Now that he knows about me, about the illness, things are different. He doesn’t know what to do with me anymore. We’ll still sit and watch TV, but I can almost hear him thinking when I’m in the room. The weirdest feeling, aside from seeing things that aren’t there, is sitting on the couch next to a grown man who is suddenly afraid of me. He didn’t used to be afraid. It’s hard not to take that personally. – Adam

Can you imagine everyone suddenly being afraid of you when your heart is good and you never want to hurt anybody? Poor Adam. That was one of the most difficult things about this book was for me. I remember becoming afraid of my brother – in all fairness, he did beat me with a metal folding chair once. Granted he had yet to be properly diagnosed and on any medications. At the end of the day, I never wanted to fear my brother and looking back, that must have broken his heart.

Here’s the thing, Adam was a 6’2 cutie and found himself a cute little girlfriend, Maya. As much as he cared for her, he was too afraid that sharing his secret with her would take her away from him. She was put into the group of people who were never to learn his secret.

My mom told me something once, right after my dad left. You lose your secrets when you let people get too close. That was the was the scariest thing for her when she started dating. – Adam

I want to keep Maya far enough away so she won’t ever have to see me as I actually am. I don’t want to lose my secrets, because they keep me safe. – Adam

Getting into Adam’s head was the best and worse part of the book. It was the best because you really start to see and understand things from the perspective of a schizophrenic person. You understand how difficult it is for them to live day to day with noise and people in their heads. You see how hard of a struggle it is and to a certain degree understand why so many choose to take their own life.

…for a while I thought about it because death seemed peaceful. More importantly, it seemed quiet. I crave quiet. You have no idea how much time I spend trying to block out the noise in my head. – Adam

Crazy enough, it’s the best part of the book that makes it the worst part as well. It shows you how ignorant one might be. It made me ashamed of myself when it came to my brother. It made me feel like I could have done more to be there for him, shit even now.



Even when Adam was with Maya, the voices and people in his head never went away. It was heartbreakingly beautiful reading how had it was for him just to have a normal conversation with his girlfriend while there is a mob shoot-out going on in the corner.

When the medicine is no longer available, what becomes of Adam? Shit, what becomes of most of our mentally ill? Most of us don’t care enough to see they need help, a friend, someone consistent. Luckily, Adam had a good support system and family who cared enough to help.

This book will make you question your personal role in the state of the mentally ill. I loved it.



Do I recommend this book?Yes, I do.
Will I read another book by this author?Sure, I don’t see why not.

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[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/



“J. K. Rowling is a fucking genius. Anyone who doesn’t think so is crazy.”

^If the above doesn’t make all you nerds fall in love with Adam, you’re probably wasting your time here.

Alright. This is it. This is my #1 YA of the year. Pretty bold statement since there’s still 3+ months to go, but I’m putting it out there. I also just finished this (locked in a spare office on my lunch hour while skipping a “team luncheon”) and am already barfing this “review” out in order to get it on other people’s radars. Bonus is since I’m the first of my friends to have read this, it means my rating is the right one. I know, I know, you’re allowed to have your own opinion and give this low stars if you feel like it . . . .



I’m not sure where to start (or where this will go aside from a giant ramble), so let’s begin with our daily debriefing on the various ways in which I am an idiot. Today’s example is how I asked for (and was denied, of course) this book simply for the cover and title. I didn’t bother reading the synopsis. I just wanted it. I assumed it was going to be a “Megan Abbott-y” type of mean girl story about – you guessed it – words on bathroom walls. Kinda like this . . . .



Whoops. Not accurate. At all. What the book was about, I mean. There’s a very good chance my kid wrote that about me on a toilet stall.

Words On Bathroom Walls is actually about Adam, a boy who was diagnosed extremely early with schizophrenia and is currently participating in a drug trial with an experimental new treatment. Told in journal format as entries to his therapist, this is Adam’s story as he deals with being crazy. Oh, and save your pearl clutching and being “triggered” at the use of the C word. As Adam would say . . . .

“I prefer ‘crazy’ to ‘mentally ill.’ Sounds more dignified.”

While it does at times seem as if mentally ill is the new black, Words On Bathroom Walls feels fresh and new. It tackles the most obvious issues with the stigma of being “crazy” head on . . . .

“When you have cancer, people are sympathetic. They feel something for you, and people even hold races to raise money for your cure. It’s different when people are afraid of what you’ve got, because then you get some of the sympathy but none of the support. They don’t wish you ill – they just want you as far away from them as possible.”

And does so with loving, concerned parents (who are actually in the picture and not just some blip on the radar!!!!), friends – both real and hallucinated – who will always be there, and a real high school romance that develops over months rather than the “insta” variety that made me feel as warm and fuzzy as a Taylor Swift song (well, before she went all batshit) . . . .



Maybe I’m getting ready to start my period (TMI? Naaaaah), but it made me feel all the things. And when Adam knew just the right thing to say . . . . .



I found myself a bit emotionally compromised . . . .



Then this happened . . . .



I’m in love with this book. I think I’m gonna sleep with it under my pillow tonight.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so beautifully written. I love the language, the humor, the characters. I like the way the book is written, like journal entries. It felt more trustworthy and personal. I really enjoyed the ending!

[Tee · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC provided via NetGalley.
Yet, my weaping in this review has nothing to do with it. Because this book! Oh boy.

I'm crying.
And laughing.
Hugging my blanket with a disturbed smile on my face.

This book is about Adam.
Adam is a "schizo".
And Adam wishes he were Harry Potter, because when Harry heard voices, they turned out to be real.
But he isn't. And that's why whenever he thinks someone is watching him, he says to himself he must be hallucinating, because he's not interesting - why would anyone want to watch him?
And he hears train whistle all the time.
But that's okay because he likes trains.
I dare you not to love Adam.

You guys, you gotta read this novel.
It's perfect.

[RM(Alwaysdaddygirl) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It does show the reality of having any mental illness.

I struggled with this book. The first few times I hate it. There are countless things about this book I question.

However, the stigma associated with having a mental illness is correct. That is why I kept at this book. I also like the ending for it was realistic. This is why I give it four stars.
🇺🇸🤙

[mimi (depression slump) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is my territory, my favorite type of book.
I have read, searched and studied every possible thing about mental illnesses, and not just for school.
And this one right here goes straight to the shelf “good story but not deep enough”.

Every story, to be defined as “good”, should make you feel something; if it's a great story, there is a big chance that is gonna tear you apart.
This isn't important tho in the case you write a book about a mental illness: if it's good is gonna be heartbroken and will change your life forever, if it doesn't make you feel that hole in your heart it's just bad. “Empathy” is the keyword and there is no grey area in which you can move.

Mental illnesses are always a delicate subject, but the way you describe them and talk about them depends on the illness. Schizophrenia is not a joke and everyone who has seen A beautiful mind understand the deep pain and sometimes confusion that people with it suffer every day.
So if you can't do that, if you can't transmit the awkwardness and the fear of not knowing if what you're seeing is real, you shouldn’t write a book about this subject. And, probably more important, if you can't make people empathize with the main character, you should definitely write about something else.

I didn't hate this story, I just think that if you want to talk about this type of subject you should know what you're doing and do it properly.
Said that, the story is simply mediocre. I didn't cry, I didn't feel bad or good for what was happening. Even boring, I must say.
The ending was probably the only ending possible. Still, it could be better.

↠ 3 stars

[s · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

well I binged this and it was great. I just didn't like the romance between Maya and Adam and it was a bit boring for me because contemporary isn't really my genre.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, this is my first five star book of the year. Yes, it is June and I have read over 60 other books. I’m really picky about my five stars, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. This book wholeheartedly deserves the five stars it is getting.

This is a mental health novel (which are honestly my favorite books) following a teenage boy coping with his diagnosis of schizophrenia as he starts a new school. He begins to make connections with the new people at school, but fears of them learning of his schizophrenia.

This synopsis doesn’t do it justice. I promise it’s amazing!

Reasons Why I Adored This Book

Adam’s parents are the most amazing thing. Oftentimes stepparents are demonized, but Adam’s stepdad is an important part of his life and not evil. His parents are very involved with Adam’s life. Parents are often caricatures in YA but these ones were developed characters who were flawed yet so supportive of Adam. I loved them so much.

Adam is super cynical. Okay, this might just be a plus for me. As a cynical person, I love cynical narrators. Adam’s snarkiness was hilarious and what made me fall in love with this book so quickly.

Adam’s love interest, Maya, is Filipino! She also comes from a family who doesn’t have a lot of money in contrast to the middle/upper class characters usually seen in YA contemporary. I was worried at first that she would end up being a manic pixie dream girl but she recieves a lot of development over the course of the novel and is overall amazing.

This isn’t a love cure book, despite the fact that as Adam’s relationship begins, he thinks Maya could be the cure. Obviously, she isn’t. This is just a thought Adam has near the beginning of the book. Adam and Maya have a very healthy relationship that in no way cures Adam’s schizophrenia.

Adam’s new friend, Dwight, is vegan. This is like one or two lines in the book but, as a vegan, it always excites me when a vegan character pops up!

Adam goes to a catholic school. I don’t think I’ve ever read a YA book where the main character attends catholic school? And it’s not like a couple lines, catholic school is a main part of the book that is examined and talked about in depth. I will say that this book doesn’t have a super positive outlook on Christianity (being agnostic this was a plus for me). While the points brought up are completely valid, if you don’t want to hear any criticism of Christianity, this might not be the book for you.

So you know how YA main characters always have the same hobbies, like art and reading? It really annoys me because there are so many other cool hobbies we never see in books. In this book? Our main character loves to BAKE. A male protagonist likes to bake desserts when he is upset because he loves to make other people happy with food. I loved this aspect so much!!!

I am not schizophrenic, so I can’t comment on how the illness was handled. But mental illness as a whole? I absolutely loved the depiction here. There are these amazing passages from Adam where he talks about what it is like to live with mental illness and it honestly resonated with me so much. Love, love, love.

Overall
Read this! Highly, highly recommend. Mental health novels are definitely more subjective than other books depending on your experience, but this one really affected me in a good way. I hope this book gets the praise it deserves!

[Masooma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I prefer “crazy” to “mentally ill.” Sounds more dignified.

Words on Bathroom Walls is a really good read about a schizophrenic child who talks to the reader via journal entries to his therapist. The main character is a sweetheart and he explains his condition in with such a vivid manner that you can understand what he’s going through.

Basically, the novel portrays the ugly side of his mental illness. In that, Adam describes the searing intensity of other people’s hatred for him, their fear of such a kid patient, and the weight of expectations to behave well. But, Adam tells us that’s not how his brain works, there’s no switch that he can flip to reality or live with the hallucinations.

It’s a very strange reality when you can’t trust yourself. There’s no foundation for anything. The faith that I might have had in normal things like gravity or logic or love is gone because my mind might not be reading them correctly. You can’t possibly know what it means to doubt everything. To walk into a room full of people and pretend that it’s empty because you’re not actually sure if it is or not.

Adam takes us on his troublesome journey that is a blend of the reality and his mind’s creations. The only, tricky part is that you won’t be sure if anything that Adam sees is real or imaginary because you see things through his lens, which is what makes this novel so interesting.

The novel is a short read with the plot steadily unfolding with each turn of the page. It took me only two sittings to finish this one. So, if you’re into this book’s subject-matter, don’t hesitate before picking it up. It’s a satisfying read.

PS: A big thanks to Aj's review that convinced me to read this book.

[cors · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I get it now. It's hard to let someone find you in all the dark and twisty places inside, but eventually, you have to hope that they do, because that's the beginning of everything.”

This is my first read for 2018 and it astonished the heck out of me. It's surprising how few people read this amazing book that gave depth to schizophrenia in more ways possible. Adam's journal entries are raw and honest, they made things easier for the reader to have a path into his mind. I honestly have no idea what's going on inside a person with a disorder like this and I am glad that I picked this book up.

It's funny on how you think your life sucks and read a book with a messed up character that has a much more difficult ordeal than yours. This book is mind opening, I know that we will never cease to be cautious of people with mental disorders but we will at least have a background on what's going on inside their mind once they act the way that they do.

I had such amazing time while reading this book and it so damn freaking worth it. I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 because it's kind of slow at some parts but other than that this was pure perfection.

[♛ may · Rating 4 out of 5]

book #6 done for the booktubeathon ✔️

i FRICKEN LOVE THIS BOOK

what an eye-opening, heartbreaking, honest, and raw book like i can not get over how well written and descriptive and powerful this book was

im so glad i decided to read it bc wow im impressed

4.5 stars!!

[☠Kayla☠ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so amazing and so heart felt. I loved how it went into so much detail about Adam dealing with schizophrenia and how it affected him in his everyday life. I also loved Maya and Dwight's characters and their relationship they have with Adam. The love between Adam and Maya is so sweet and romantic, they literally are perfect for each other. All in all it was such a beautiful story. But I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't disappointed in the format because truth be told I was a little. This novel is written in journal entries and I found it slightly difficult and a little annoying at first but got over it pretty quickly and didn't really seem to notice it as much as the story progressed. Even in journal entry format Julia Walton added so much detail and a good story telling aspect that, like I said, doesn't make it as bothersome after a bit.

[Nadia Awadi · Rating 5 out of 5]

warning: why do I have to start this review with a warning ? I am perfectly fine. I am not a crying-emotional mess because of how amazing this book was, nor am I thinking about drowning in choclate, while trying to forget about it, nor am I.......You have been warned.

And the award for the 6th book that made me cry in my entire-freaking-life goes to:
Words on Bathroom Walls


The kind-of-sane part of this review:

Adam:
Adam, is our main character. God, did I want to hug him until he couldn't breathe anymore. He is schizo. But that's not all that he is. He is also sweet, a great cook*soo jealous*, honest to a fault, moody, a good friend and finally, the best boyfriend any girl could have.

One of his imaginary friends, is Rebecca. I wanted to be her. I wanted to do cart-wheels when he's happy *I would break my neck*, hold his hand and just be there for him.

He's trying a new drug, that seems to be working at first. We read the notes that he is writing to his psychiatrist. Where he talks about his disease, school, family and whatever he's going through.
Which makes the reader not just relate to him but feel whatever he's feeling.*did I say feel too many times? I think so too.*

He's dreamy, swoon-worthy and every other adj that ends with y.

The romance:
Say hello to Maya and Adam, everyone:


The family:
It plays a big part in this book since Adam's mom is dealing with her son's mental illness. I loved how proctective she was of him. And then there is Paul: Adam's step dad. Thank you for being not just amazing but fucking amazing.

Dwight:
You're the man. Thank you for everything that you did. And we both love talking, so it's okay.
Silence is awkward and over-rated.

Reading this book, I cried from sadness, happiness and random passages where I couldn't handle the feels.

Wise words that I say in every five-star-review:
Read this book.

[Riesa · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is a solid YA romance that uses the same well known and apparently well loved plot line as all the other YA romance novels. You've read it before and you will read it again.

Now, this was probably one of the worst portrayals of schizophrenia I've ever come across. It's portrayed almost as a fun personality quirk. Adam's only symptoms are hallucinations. Other than that, Adam shows no signs of psychosis. Schizophrenia is not a goddamn acid trip. It's not about having imaginary friends. It's about a wide range of disturbing and debilitating symptoms. Delusions, flat affect, disorganized thinking and speech, loss of motivation and ability to feel pleasure. Adam suffers of none of these. He is on a trial for a drug that is apparently being tested for "difficult cases", so with hardly any clinical signs of schizophrenia, how exactly is Adam's case difficult?

Lack of research also shows in how schizophrenia treatment is described. It's never explained why Adam gets restrained. Restraint is not a standard treatment procedure for psychosis! Also, ToZaPrex? I've never seen random capitalization in drug names.

All in all, Words on Bathroom Walls is just another YA novel that is sold as a novel about mental illness, because "schizophrenia" is a selling buzzword.

[Swetlana (The Caffeinated Bookworm Life) · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the second review you’ll read from me where I don’t know how to write it, but unlike my previous one (where I loved the book) the reasons for me not knowing how to write this are entirely different. I got approved for this eARC via NetGalley and finally read it. Words On Bathroom Walls was a book I didn’t enjoy from pretty much the get-go. I even considered DNFing it multiple times but finished reading it in the end.

The usage of the word ‘crazy’

I was really uncomfortable with the way the main character Adam (who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and is taking part in a trial for a new drug) constantly referred to himself and others suffering from schizophrenia as ‘crazy’ or ‘crazies’. I can’t tell you if this is a me thing or something that would be considered offensive by someone who actually lives with a mental health illness like schizophrenia. All I can say is that I didn’t like reading a character referring to himself and others as ‘crazy’ for a mental health illness. It felt offending. But I want someone to talk in more detail about this who has experience with this!

Once I finished the book I actually went back and put a bookmark on every scene I found uncomfortable or possibly offensive because of the usage of the word ‘crazy’ and I actually ended up with 34 different instances and I feel like that is too much. And the character never really seems to learn how his words might hurt someone else. He is never actively shown talking to people the entire book. The entire story is narrated through diary entries Adam makes and sends to his therapist after each session as Adam doesn’t want to actually speak in his sessions.

The main reason why I requested this book was to get a perspective into what life might be like for people with schizophrenia but all I got was a 16-year-old boy who talks negatively about mental health problems and doesn’t undergo any kind of character development over the course of the entire story which takes place over almost an entire year.

The girlfriend is referred to as the ‘cure’

When we first meet Adam we also meet Ian who is pretty much the stereotypical high school bully and Maya who later one becomes Adam’s girlfriend. One of the things that really bothered me was how Adam refers to Maya as his ‘cure’. The only thing that keeps him sane, etc. It’s is so often criticised in books when love or a relationship is seen as the ‘cure’ for a mental illness and then we have this kid who refers to his girlfriend as exactly that and since all we’re getting is his perspective no one is going to talk about how that might not be the best thing.

Had we actually gotten to see Adam in therapy and conversation with his therapist, I think this book could’ve been so much better and the messages it sent would’ve been more positive.

Adam’s views on someone else’s relationship with sex

As we follow Adam throughout almost a year of his life, we also get a look into what Valentine’s Day is like and how it’s dealt with at the Catholic school Adam is attending. Adam talks about how there are religious parents who have convinced their kids that sex is bad, etc and then he ends his musings by saying that those people are weirdos and everyone knows it. And I just wanted to yell at him. You do not get to tell other people what they can and can’t think about sex or how they approach sex. It’s up to an individual to decide on how they want to act. Or not to act, for that matter.

Honestly, I feel like this concept of a story could have been a really great book but it was just executed so poorly in my opinion. This ended up being a 1-star book for me and even then just barely.

[The Jolly Elf · Rating 5 out of 5]

(no spoilers)
Δεν περίμενα να το αγαπήσω τόσο πολύ αυτό το βιβλίο. Μου άρεσε τόσο που κατάφερα να φτάσω στο τέλος σε λιγότερο από 5 ώρες.

Καταρχάς θέλω να αναφέρω ότι το στυλ γραφής είναι κάπως διαφορετικό απ’ ότι έχουμε συνηθίσει. Ουσιαστικά, ο Adam γράφει τεράστια κείμενα στον ψυχίατρό του επειδή αρνείται να του μιλήσει κανονικά οπότε που και που χρησιμοποιείται δεύτερο πρόσωπο σαν να μιλάει σε εμάς ενώ στην πραγματικότητα αναφέρεται σε άλλον χαρακτήρα. Εμένα με έκανε να δεθώ με τους χαρακτήρες και ξεχνάς ότι αυτό που διαβάζεις είναι «γραπτό» αλλά είπα να το αναφέρω μην ξαφνιαστείτε.

Ο Adam ήταν πολύ καλά αναπτυγμένος. Είχε χιούμορ, αυτοσαρκαζόταν συνεχώς και γενικά έχει πολύ καλή προσωπικότητα. Οι στιγμές που παλεύει λίγο περισσότερο με τη σχιζοφρένεια απ’ ότι συνήθως του έδιναν μεγαλύτερο βάθος και το έβλεπες ότι τον ρίχνουν ψυχολογικά.

Η σχιζοφρένεια επίσης ήταν τέλεια δομημένη στην ιστορία. Ο Adam μπορεί να ξεχωρίσει όταν τον γνωρίζουμε τι είναι πραγματικό και τι όχι αλλά το να είσαι στο κεφάλι του ήταν πολύ στρεσαριστικό. Δεν μπορώ να φανταστώ πως είναι να ζεις έτσι όλη σου την ζωή, να πρέπει να αγνοείς τις φωνές και παράλληλα να πρέπει κυριολεκτικά να ελέγξεις αν αυτός που σου μιλάει υπάρχει ή όχι.

Επίσης η συγγραφέας έκανε πολύ καλά δουλειά να δώσει αρκετές πληροφορίες για την σχιζοφρένεια με έξυπνο τρόπο. Δεν ήξερα ότι υπάρχουν διαφορετικά είδη και ότι αυτοί οι άνθρωποι είναι περισσότερο επικίνδυνοι για τον ίδιο τους τον εαυτό παρά για τους άλλους τις περισσότερες φορές.

Τέλος η σχέση ήταν πολύ υγιής και μου άρεσε που ξεκίνησαν πρώτα ως φίλοι. Αν και ακόμα στο λύκειο, ήταν αρκετά ώριμοι και οι δύο και σέβονταν ο ένας τον άλλον. Αρκετά ρεαλιστική κατά την γνώμη μου και χωρίς δράματα.

ΓΕΝΙΚΑ αυτό το βιβλίο είναι ένα μικρό κρυμμένο διαμαντάκι και προτείνω με όλη μου την καρδιά να το διαβάσετε.

[Patty (IheartYA311) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relatable, heartfelt, witty and real. I feel as if any reader could sympathize with the Adam for feeling "abnormal" or different. This book was very well written, and laugh out loud funny at times. I'm teetering between a 3 to 4 rating because I've read so many books lately that evoked similar feelings, but I will round up to 4.

[Mikołaj (Żółwie Książkowe) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Każda tajemnica to ciężar. Najlepiej przekonał się o tym Adam - chorujący na schizofrenię nastolatek, główny bohater „Słów na ścianie”.

Powieść Julii Walton nie ma w sobie wiele patosu czy spektakularnej dramy. Adam ma kochającą rodzinę, świetną dziewczynę i gadatliwego przyjaciela. Aczkolwiek nie wszyscy są mu przychyli, ponieważ widzą w nim jedynie zagrożenie. 😐

Debiutancka powieść autorki opowiada o codziennych zmaganiach z chorobą, watpliwościach i poczuciu, że świat byłby lepszym miejscem bez ciebie. Choć porusza ważne tematy nie jest ciężka. Humor głównego bohatera rozluźnia atmosferę, gdyż chłopak nie szczędzi komentarzy rodzicom, pracownikom katolickiej szkoły czy terapeucie, do którego zwraca się w dzienniku opowiadając swoją historię. 📝

[Gray Cox · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNFed last month at 230 pages because content.

I picked it up again this month and finished it. It has a very good, tear-jerking story but sadly I feel the crudeness in the sexual scenes and the cursing took away from the meaning, at least for me. :/

[Rissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️
Gives you an in depth look inside the mind of a schizophrenic teenage boy. I adore this book! Im a sucker for mental illness books especially when done accurately yet interesting.
I really enjoyed that Adam could talk and interact with his hallucinations. I also loved how the author delt with his friends finding out about his disorder at the end. This book tugged on my heart, made me laugh, think, reflect on my own life. It was beautifully done and i will read whatever she puts out next!

"Ive been keeping a list of things that bother me (page91)-When people ask me how i feel"
"Jesus loves you dont be a homo"

Side note: the cover is Beautiful!!!

[lexi ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5-3

i remember i bought this book online for like $2 & i remember that i had no idea what it was really about. i assumed it was literally a collection of words on bathroom walls.

when i realized this book focused on mental health i was not disappointed at all, i honestly loved the fact that this book explored mental health especially through the lens of 16 year old adam.
i think a lot of the time in real life people forget that men experience issues with their mental health as well, so this representation was extremely important.

i loved the fact that this whole book followed adam’s journey, all his ups & downs, good, bad & ugly, because although this was a work of fiction, julia walton really strived to represent what life was really like for a teenager who has schizophrenia.

maya & dwight were amazing i loved their characters i love how they didn’t judge adam based on his schizophrenia & continued to have his back, that was awesome.
i also liked how the situation with todd (adam’s childhood best friend) was incorporated because it shows how much stigma is attached to people who have schizophrenia & how anyone who has it is automatically deemed “violent” or a risk to themselves & everyone around them which is not true. (i want to clarify i didn’t enjoy reading that event, but i appreciated the perspective because it reflects real life judgements)

a few of adam’s thoughts stuck with me
1) i understand that he was a selected candidate for this experimental drug, but the doctors did refer to him as a “lab rat” & he was deemed unfit for the study based on his results. they didn’t address that the drug had damaging effects on him & they talked about him like he was an object in an experiment rather than an actual human that is suffering from side effects of an experimental drug.
2) when adam was representing the distinction between physical & mental illness, he mentioned that people with physical illness get more sympathy whereas those with mental illness receive less sympathy because people are more scared of them. essentially, it brings up the fact that physical illness & mental illness are looked at differently & there is less support for mental illness for many reasons such as the “they’re just crazy” label.
3) when adam said respect everyone. he brought up the “respect your elders” statement & how some old people are rude & at the end of the day you shouldn’t just respect people that are old you should respect everyone.

i think the incorporation of the devastating sandy hook shooting can be triggering, but it was definitely important to raise awareness, to not forget the victims, tie in real life events & to not judge people struggling with their mental health based on what one person did.

at times, i found that i would space out while reading & further into the book i would be like “wait when did that happen?” so i realized that my attention to the story was wavering a bit & it was never during a lesson or a message that was being communicated it was at parts like things ian & adam did to get back at each other (before prom).

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure at first if I'd love this book, but as I got further in and towards the end, I LOVED it!
In some way, it reminded me of the book "Flowers for Algernon" - which was a great, but heartbreaking book.
I knew I had seen this had been made into a movie on Amazon Prime and I went to watch it afterwards, but I don't feel like it did the book justice, even though I REALLY loved the graphics they did in the movie and the voices.....they ended up cutting out some characters and it didn't happen like it did in the book.
I can't imagine how lonely and scary it must be to deal with Schizophrenia. I loved how the book showed the affects on the main character as well as his loved ones.
I'm not sure how accurate it is, as the author says in the back that she has no experience with it first hand, but she did research it. I highly recommend this book, it's a great story!

[Kelly Gillan · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is so important. it really opened my eyes. in the media schizophrenia is always labeled as crazy. but you know what?? so what if you’re crazy!! adam always had the best intentions and there wasn’t a harmful bone in his body. there’s such a disgusting stigma around mental illnesses ESPECIALLY schizophrenia. the writing in this book was so humorous and heartfelt i fell in love with adam in the first chapter. also i want friends like maya and dwight!!!
the movie better do this book justice.

[Carla Dente · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,5 de 5

Bueno, bueno, bueno... Qué increíble sorpresa.
Realmente disfruté muchísimo de este libro, el protagonistas es simplemente espectacular.

Les ampliaré en los próximos días.

[Macarena Yannelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Una lectura rápida, extrañamente divertida. Muy entretenido.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adam is a teenager with schizophrenia, and volunteers to try an experimental drug called ToZaPrex to help him cope with his visions and voices. He had an episode at his previous school that forced him to transfer to a new school. He wants this new school to be a fresh start for him, especially when he meets Maya, who eventually becomes his girlfriend. He doesn't tell Maya or his new friends about his schizophrenia because part of him is hoping that the experimental drug will fix it and he won't have to tell anyone. Adam has been seeing a therapist to talk about the way he is feeling, but he never speaks during his sessions. He writes everything down in a journal and gives it to him instead. At first things seem to be going well with the drug, but he never gets rid of the visions altogether. The drug seems to help him tell the difference between reality and the visions/voices. Eventually the doctors need to take him off of the drug, and it gets more and more difficult for him to keep his secret as it's hard for him to determine what's real and what's all in his head.

This whole story is told through Adam's journal entries to his therapist. I really loved that because it was so different and gave us great insight into how he was feeling and what was going on in his head. I also loved how real Adam's mental illness was portrayed. Often times in books with a main character that has a mental illness, they are magically cured or cured by finding the love interest, and I was so glad that wasn't the case with this one.

I absolutely loved Adam. He made it impossible not too. I really enjoyed his snarky sarcasm and witty remarks. The nerdy fangirl in me loved his Harry Potter references too. He deals with his stress by baking, and he also uses it as a way to make the people he cares about happy. I love that! I liked that Adam's mother and stepfather were very supportive and protective of him. It's hard to find good parental figures in young adult stories, but these two were great. We're a little unsure about Adam's stepfather for part of the story but he comes through in a big way towards the end of the story and even a few times in between.

Maya is also a really great character. She comes off sort of stoic for a while but she opens up more when she's with Adam. They started off as friends but even she couldn't resist Adam's charm. lol! He really does have his sweet moments. They had a really healthy relationship and there is mention of sexual intimacy but it isn't overly descriptive and isn't a huge part of the story.

I thought Adam's interactions with his visions were really interesting. Most of the time he was trying to ignore them but he would still explain what they were doing and what they were saying. The 3 most recurrent visions/voices that he sees are Rebecca, members of the mob, and Jason. Each one of the visions has it's one personality and I enjoyed getting to hear more about them.

I originally gave this one a 4 star but after I finished it I couldn't stop thinking about it and the more I think about this one, the more I love it! I would highly recommend it! I'm actually really surprised that this was Julia Walton's first book. It was written really well and there's not really a thing about it that I would change. I will definitely be keeping my eye out for more of her books in the future.

* I received an ARC of this title via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. *