Pardon My Hearse: A Colorful Portrait of Where the Funeral and Entertainment Industries Met in Hollywood

by Allan Abbott, Gregory Abbott

Even celebrities die—and he was the man who picked up the bodies! Allan Abbott ran the leading hearse, mortuary, and funeral services company in Hollywood and got an unprecedented glimpse of how celebrities really live and die. The Forrest Gump of the funeral industry, Abbott was everywhere celebrities died, from helping to prepare Marilyn Monroe’s body for burial to standing next to Christopher Walken at Natalie Wood’s funeral. Now in his memoir “Pardon My Hearse,” Abbott tells the rags-to-shroud story of how we went from a young man with a hearse to the funeral driver to the stars—a rollicking, unexpectedly hilarious story of glamorous funerals, mishaps with corpses, and true-life glimpses of celebrities at their most revealing moments. ”Pardon My Hearse” is an eye-opening look at secret Hollywood from the man who literally knows where the bodies are buried.

Genres: Nonfiction

291 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 15, 2015

Reviews

[Cindy Butler · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has been hugely disappointing. I didn't expect a book written almost solely about the buying and selling of hearses. I expected great funeral stories of the celebrities, but this is NOT what you get.
I feel like many stories are never actually completed?! The author goes off on weird tangents involving his wife and kids that has no bearing on the stories or the purpose of the book.
The only chapters that are enjoyable are the ones based solely upon a celebrity eg. "Natalie Wood" and even then, the information is not as intriguing or integral as you would expect from how this book is advertised to the reader.
I will finish this book, because I hate not finishing books.... but it will be a struggle!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know how hilarious or laugh-out-loud these stories are intended to be. Some of them felt decidedly context critical (a shared joke over someone wearing a mask to work, for example, feels like it would have been funnier if I knew the people and was present at the time).

It was interesting. I was especially interested in the evolution of the business, and how it seems they sort of fell into it, almost serendipitously. I kept wondering where all of the government road blocks to this endeavor were; they either had to be there and were glossed over, or it was an earlier time, with fewer road blocks.

I wouldn't have chosen to read this on my own, but it was an interesting read. I'm glad I'm also not the only book-club member to have chosen a book that sometimes bordered on the macabre.

[Dayanara Ryelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - it's been quite interesting to learn how many innovations Abbott & Hast has been responsible for over the years.

Amusing: ⭐⭐⭐ - not quite as lively as Over Our Dead Bodies: Undertakers Lift the Lid (and its prequel), but PMS has some funny moments.

Gross: ⭐⭐⭐½ - while OODB was careful to leave the ooey-gooeys "off camera" (much in the way of Hitchcock), PMS pulls no punches, resulting in an occasional, "Ooo! (*cringe*) Did you have to tell me that?"

Final Score: 3.83 stars, rounded up to four for Goodreads's system.

[Scott C Lindstrom · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Enjoyed This, but...

Actually, I enjoyed it quite a bit. But I started to wondered if the editor had actually read it. More than once, a potentially great anecdote suddenly stops. “Wait! What’s the REST of that story???” Imagine if your favorite comedian suddenly stop telling the punchlines. This needed about 15 more pages to flesh out the stories that weren’t finished. And it could have done without the authors encounter with NOAA. Still, most of us have a voyeuristic curiosity about this industry and this book is more than satisfying in that regard. It’s also a great study in what you can accomplish when you pay attention to the needs around you.

[Yolande · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weirdly interesting!!
I read that book in one seating, on a night I was suffering from insomnia; it didn't help me to fall asleep.
It's a really interesting book, written by someone who fell into the 'death' business by accident.
Hollywood is more of a side story, than the main part of it, so if you want juicy details about dead stars, you won't really find a lot of those. Mr. Abbott was actually described by people in the movie business as respectful.
Some details are a bit disgusting, this is a book about death and funerals.
All in all a pretty good read.

[Morgan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Shame on the men who wrote this trash – shame on them for revealing anything about a dead person’s body, famous or not. If you think death is so ‘colorful’ you should write a book about it. Shame on you!! Even the cover of the book is insulting. Death is no joking matter. This book is an insult to every dead body they ever handled and to every person who thinks a person’s life is worth more than a trashy novel by someone who has no conscience. Shame on me for even starting to read it. At least I had the grace not to finish it.

[Patti Sickels · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I found the founding of the company and many of the stories interesting and entertaining, it seemed Allan Abbott was often opportunistic in his exploitation of private details to boost his own importance. Betraying humiliating information of others and the overall crassness of his behavior at times was inexcusable. Many stories would take off only to end a paragraph later leaving me to wonder what the point was other than to name drop.

[Alexandra Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

The insider knowledge about the death industry and Hollywood

Written very tongue and cheek. Allen's clear explanations and non sensational writing is a good read. A good look into a world not many see.

[Jana Deubner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was informative and funny. I would highly recommend to anyone who loves celebrities.

[Cheri Smallwood-ellerker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real entertaining book with some sombre moments. A great look into the funeral business with the highs and lows.

[Tammy Chaffins · Rating 3 out of 5]

A couple of good stories. Author a little long winded.

[lara phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not essential if you enjoy books about the funeral industry, but an engaging read.

[Joni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like your crazy uncle telling his growing up antics at a family reunion.
It is an interesting book if you can get past his corny jokes and one liners that would be funny if you were there!

[Nikki in Niagara · Rating 4 out of 5]

My interest in reading this book is because I'm fascinated with the funerary business and practices. The book's claim about Hollywood was only slightly intriguing to me. I thoroughly enjoyed the read but will mention to prospective readers that this book is not a trashy, gossipy book about Hollywood and celebrities; it is a book about the inside workings of a funeral business which happened to be in California and thus crossed paths with the film industry occasionally. The book starts off chronologically telling the story of how Abbot & Hast, two high school graduates in the early fifties got started in the hearse business and eventually became one of the most respected mortuaries in California along with being the owners of the industry leading trade magazine "Mortuary Management". I enjoyed this biographical part the best. Then the book slips into anecdote mode with each chapter being on a theme: cremation, humour in the industry; embarrassing moments, cultural traditions, etc. There are also chapters devoted to some of the momentous Hollywood funerals they were a part of such as Marilyn Monroe and nefarious events they ended up being a small part of such as sicko David Sconce murdered a good friend of theirs and tried to murder (or at least beat up) Hast. A lot of highly interesting information, mostly about the business, which I enjoyed because of my interest in it. Allan tell things in a fairly straightforward manner with a dash of dry humour. His tone doesn't change between telling about the details of embalming, the details of a prank (which there were many) or his inside information on a conspiracy theory. Because of this I sometimes wondered if he was a bit overdramatic himself but on the other hand he tells them mundanely enough without sensationalism. Glad to have read it and am adding it to my collection on the topic.

[Gina Clabo · Rating 5 out of 5]

oh my goodness this book was so amazing..Alan Abbott and he's son Greg has written one of the best Biography book I have read in a long time...Alan and his best friend have worked so hard all of their lives...and have seen everything in death..This was all in California and if you live there you will know all these areas and the buildings and the stories of how they came to be....The stories of Marilyn Monroe's funeral to the movies his limousine and hearse were in... to Hollywood stars he has done funerals for and his life in general was amazing..I laughed, cried, and sometimes said No Way.....Alan and Greg I would like to thank you for this book and the memories you left in my heart...Recommend to all who love biography stories but be warned there are some graphic parts....Beautiful Gina Clabo

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book, and even more so as an audiobook after I didn't have time to actually read it. Well laid out memoir. It was a little surprising as I had picked it up thinking it was going to be more of a non-fiction piece. There were chapters that seemed out of place and they made more sense as you learn more about Allan's life. There were aspects of his life that would raise and eyebrow but what a wonderful to collect the stories of his life for future generations, including the great detail about the funeral industry. It's not the stories about the funeral industry, but the overall business dealings in his life that made his life so colorful.

[Gerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

I couldn't decide whether to give this two stars or three. I gave it three because the story of how the author got started was intriguing, and the first half of the book showed some promise. Ultimately I only finished it because I have a hard time NOT finishing a book. The chapter about his May-December second marriage is a good example of missing details and, like other readers here, I found the connections between paragraphs and events to be lacking. He seemed to go from one thought to another without providing any context. Not recommended.

[Scott Underwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

I actually DNF. This was too hard to follow, with paragraphs so disconnected at times, I was left scratching my head. I really got turned of when he talks about he and his wife returning to a driveway to spy on a TV star and spouse as the fought....sad.... Some good stuff, but mostly a gossip tableau centered around death ........not my cup o tea.

[Charissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most interesting aspect was how they built and expanded the business but the book itself is very "pieced" together. Expected more of the book to be like the "Marilyn" chapter but it was mainly more or less about the hearse rental business.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I must admit that I have not actually read more than an excerpt or two from this book - but this author has made truly tasteless and sensationalistic comments in interviews about the nature of his work, and it's thoroughly turned me off of further exploring his book.

[gloria segal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life and death and all in between

Excellent book, poignant , humorous and insightful. Having lived in L.A. Culver City and Inglewood I could relate even more.

[Susan Mendez Araya · Rating 3 out of 5]

dont know yet

[Damo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actually a very good, entertaining read with some great historical stories of the rich and famous. From a perspective like no other, this was a great read.

[Anne O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

An entertaining book about funerals in Hollywood. Gives you a glimpse of the funerals of the rich and famous. The author tells his experience with a funny twist.

[Amber Schroer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure where I stand on this one. It just didn’t feel coherent and the humor and sincerity felt forced.