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Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes
After accidentally exposing himself to his son’s girlfriend, and realising that because of his over-hanging stomach, she couldn’t actually see anything, Eric Baxter decides it’s time he went on a diet. Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought.
Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.
Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.
- GenresHumorContemporary
120 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
83 people are currently reading
652 people want to read
About the author
Steven Morris
5 books18 followersSteven Morris has been writing on and off since childhood, and over the years his efforts have ranged from leaving love notes in schoolgirl's coat pockets (Dont worry, he was a schoolboy himself at the time) to almost having a sit-com script accepted by the BBC. If only everyone who read the script hadn't said, "Dear lord no," he probably would have made it.
After writing a succession of short stories and having a few scripts read out on the radio, Steven eventually decided to write his first book, and "Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes" was eventually born.
Over the years Steven's dubious awards include being voted the baldest boy at school, the tallest boy at school, and the man least likely to find a date on Plenty of Fish.
Steven is already working on the sequel to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes, and is hoping to publish in the Autumn.
After writing a succession of short stories and having a few scripts read out on the radio, Steven eventually decided to write his first book, and "Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes" was eventually born.
Over the years Steven's dubious awards include being voted the baldest boy at school, the tallest boy at school, and the man least likely to find a date on Plenty of Fish.
Steven is already working on the sequel to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes, and is hoping to publish in the Autumn.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
March 12, 2020
I didn't find the humor funny at all. This didn't have much of a story, and the end left me scratching my head.
Story **
Audiobook **
Overall **
Story **
Audiobook **
Overall **
November 11, 2017
I read this book as part of the Amazon Prime promotion and I can’t quite believe the reviews. Did I read a different book?
Eric, the main character, was pathetic. Totally incapable of any kind of self-control and he spent most of the narrative whining that his wife won’t sleep with him whilst treating her appallingly and thinking it’s funny and we should all feel sorry for him. I know it’s supposed to be a lighthearted, funny read but, really? Most of the laughs were directed at Carol, who, to be honest, sounded pretty vulnerable and didn’t need to be humiliated. It was a typical male, let’s laugh at the fat girl humour. I mean, aren’t we over this yet?
I just couldn’t find this funny at all. It was a poorly written reflection of a dull middle-aged man’s sad life. The characters were one dimensional and I just couldn’t help thinking that most of it was the author’s voice.
Ultimately, nothing happens and I just wanted it to end. Awful.
Eric, the main character, was pathetic. Totally incapable of any kind of self-control and he spent most of the narrative whining that his wife won’t sleep with him whilst treating her appallingly and thinking it’s funny and we should all feel sorry for him. I know it’s supposed to be a lighthearted, funny read but, really? Most of the laughs were directed at Carol, who, to be honest, sounded pretty vulnerable and didn’t need to be humiliated. It was a typical male, let’s laugh at the fat girl humour. I mean, aren’t we over this yet?
I just couldn’t find this funny at all. It was a poorly written reflection of a dull middle-aged man’s sad life. The characters were one dimensional and I just couldn’t help thinking that most of it was the author’s voice.
Ultimately, nothing happens and I just wanted it to end. Awful.
January 4, 2015
When I learned Steven Morris had finally released this masterpiece of humorous fiction, I couldn't wait to read it. Having read a sneak peak while he was still writing it many months ago, I knew this would be a 'must read'. I bought the book straight away and snuck off to make a start, leaving hubby to the washing up. Two hours later I emerged, guilt-faced, from my reading hole, gorged on this fabulous book and utterly satisfied.
Eric Baxter is the personification of every begrudging dieter on the planet. Acknowledging there is work to be done when it comes to improving his health and losing weight, his love affair with food is one that he simply doesn't want to walk away from.
Without food, there's little else in Eric's life for him to enjoy, with his well-meaning if somewhat pushy wife determined to get him fit, his teenage drama queen daughter for whom he is nothing more than an embarrassment, and his horny teenage son, who's moved into the garden shed to practise his music and other things, the only thing left to bring Eric cheer was a pork pie and a packet of crisps, and now they've gone too.
Temptation presents itself to Eric on every level, from the randy attentions of a fellow foodie and co-worker, to the hot deli counter in the local supermarket with it's fresh roasted chickens. Even the passengers in his cab seem intent on helping him break his diet. All Eric wants is to love and be loved, whether it's a cuddle from his distant wife, or a sweet kiss from the packet of chocolate digestives that were chucked in the bin. And he'll go to any desperate length for it.
Poor Eric, you really do feel for him. What Steven Morris has managed to do is turn the tables on every woman who ever wondered if her bum looked big, and let us know that it's possible for men to have the same hang-ups and insecurities about their physical state. It's a book that makes you feel good about yourself, whatever size or shape you are, with a main character you can really empathise with. Here's hoping we get to hear more from this author, and soon.
Eric Baxter is the personification of every begrudging dieter on the planet. Acknowledging there is work to be done when it comes to improving his health and losing weight, his love affair with food is one that he simply doesn't want to walk away from.
Without food, there's little else in Eric's life for him to enjoy, with his well-meaning if somewhat pushy wife determined to get him fit, his teenage drama queen daughter for whom he is nothing more than an embarrassment, and his horny teenage son, who's moved into the garden shed to practise his music and other things, the only thing left to bring Eric cheer was a pork pie and a packet of crisps, and now they've gone too.
Temptation presents itself to Eric on every level, from the randy attentions of a fellow foodie and co-worker, to the hot deli counter in the local supermarket with it's fresh roasted chickens. Even the passengers in his cab seem intent on helping him break his diet. All Eric wants is to love and be loved, whether it's a cuddle from his distant wife, or a sweet kiss from the packet of chocolate digestives that were chucked in the bin. And he'll go to any desperate length for it.
Poor Eric, you really do feel for him. What Steven Morris has managed to do is turn the tables on every woman who ever wondered if her bum looked big, and let us know that it's possible for men to have the same hang-ups and insecurities about their physical state. It's a book that makes you feel good about yourself, whatever size or shape you are, with a main character you can really empathise with. Here's hoping we get to hear more from this author, and soon.
June 28, 2015
I randomly picked this one up as I have just started a 30 day trial of Kindle Unlimited. I haven’t heard of the author before but it looked like it could be a light and funny read.
Although it was funny in some places I found this book to be pretty dull. It’s written in diary format and is only 115 pages long. The book is about a pretty average taxi driver who hates his neighbors cat, isn’t getting any action from him wife, if being tempted by another woman and struggle to stick to a diet. The book wasn’t terrible and I didn’t dislike it but it was just a little too dull for me to ever consider picking it up again and I found the guy to complain too much.
Although it was funny in some places I found this book to be pretty dull. It’s written in diary format and is only 115 pages long. The book is about a pretty average taxi driver who hates his neighbors cat, isn’t getting any action from him wife, if being tempted by another woman and struggle to stick to a diet. The book wasn’t terrible and I didn’t dislike it but it was just a little too dull for me to ever consider picking it up again and I found the guy to complain too much.
March 19, 2020
I am not a person that laughs at stupid jokes on the tv so not sure what to expect of this story, however I am pleasantly surprised.
I am new to audiobooks and it can be off putting for me with somebody narrating, takes a bit getting used to.
I find the story was interesting and funny too, I wondered what could happen next to the poor man, that exercise bike just sitting taunting him.
I think a lot of us can relate to the way the children are too and as for that cat, I better not say, grrrr.
Temptation is never very far away and comes in many guises.
The narrator I did find was enjoyable, love the accent, it must be hard for a man to do a woman’s voice, numerous actually, but It was ok, I couldn’t do it so I am impressed with how this worked out.
I got this book for free.
I am new to audiobooks and it can be off putting for me with somebody narrating, takes a bit getting used to.
I find the story was interesting and funny too, I wondered what could happen next to the poor man, that exercise bike just sitting taunting him.
I think a lot of us can relate to the way the children are too and as for that cat, I better not say, grrrr.
Temptation is never very far away and comes in many guises.
The narrator I did find was enjoyable, love the accent, it must be hard for a man to do a woman’s voice, numerous actually, but It was ok, I couldn’t do it so I am impressed with how this worked out.
I got this book for free.
July 11, 2015
I just won this book in the Goodreads giveaway and can't wait to start reading it, it looks so fun!
Update: 11.07.2015
I have received this book a few days ago, and today I finally got my hands on it.
What I liked about the book:
- It's funny. Everyday life of a middle-aged man facing such problems as wife not having any sex with him, a neighbour's cat pooping all over the yard, a teenage daughter being an ungrateful brat and a son who just doesn't seem to care about his dad, and, to top it all off, a weight problem. If it wasn't funny, it would be depressing, however Steven Morris really pulled it off. Great job!
- It's an easy read. It's fun and light. I have read the book in about an hour, and it was a very pleasant one. The language is simple, the diary entries are not too long, so that one'd get tired, and not too short.
- The main character is relatable. I, a young woman, totally understand his frustrations. And anyone who likes food and has ever tried to lose weight will get his struggles.
- The rest of the characters are also pretty real. The teenage children, the wife, the seducing colleague (I guess?)
What I disliked about the book:
- It was really frustrating at times. I wanted to bitch slap the daughter at times, and maybe also the main character. Losing weight and commuting to a diet is really difficult, but I just cannot understand how the main character could have so little will. He ate a whole cake at once just because he was on a diet for what? a weak?
Overall, I enjoyed the book and would recommend you read it!
PS: I won this copy autographed in First Reads, and the autograph is very sweet!
Update: 11.07.2015
I have received this book a few days ago, and today I finally got my hands on it.
What I liked about the book:
- It's funny. Everyday life of a middle-aged man facing such problems as wife not having any sex with him, a neighbour's cat pooping all over the yard, a teenage daughter being an ungrateful brat and a son who just doesn't seem to care about his dad, and, to top it all off, a weight problem. If it wasn't funny, it would be depressing, however Steven Morris really pulled it off. Great job!
- It's an easy read. It's fun and light. I have read the book in about an hour, and it was a very pleasant one. The language is simple, the diary entries are not too long, so that one'd get tired, and not too short.
- The main character is relatable. I, a young woman, totally understand his frustrations. And anyone who likes food and has ever tried to lose weight will get his struggles.
- The rest of the characters are also pretty real. The teenage children, the wife, the seducing colleague (I guess?)
What I disliked about the book:
- It was really frustrating at times. I wanted to bitch slap the daughter at times, and maybe also the main character. Losing weight and commuting to a diet is really difficult, but I just cannot understand how the main character could have so little will. He ate a whole cake at once just because he was on a diet for what? a weak?
Overall, I enjoyed the book and would recommend you read it!
PS: I won this copy autographed in First Reads, and the autograph is very sweet!
September 13, 2015
I received this book through Goodreads First Reads
1.5 stars.
I am very disappointed in this book. Something with the subtitle "A Delicious Laugh Out Loud Comedy" ought to be funny right? Well it sure wasn't.
The books only saving grace was that it was written in diary style, and it was very short (it lands at 115 pages, but the font is ridiculously big so compared to other books it would be even shorter). It probably also captured the tone of the kind of person the main character was, but I wouldn't know since I'm not a middle aged sexually frustrated taxi driver from England.
If I hadn't received this as a book to review I definitely would've stopped reading before getting halfway. I kept it in my work bag to read in some random airport, but ended up just listening to podcasts instead. Then I finally decided to finish it today while home in bed. Idid not find it funny and didn't even chuckle once. Mostly I just felt sorry for Mr Baxter, and frustrated too.
I suppose this book might be funnier if you recognise yourself in either Eric Baxter yourself, or in his wife. But I just found this book very very bland.
1.5 stars.
I am very disappointed in this book. Something with the subtitle "A Delicious Laugh Out Loud Comedy" ought to be funny right? Well it sure wasn't.
The books only saving grace was that it was written in diary style, and it was very short (it lands at 115 pages, but the font is ridiculously big so compared to other books it would be even shorter). It probably also captured the tone of the kind of person the main character was, but I wouldn't know since I'm not a middle aged sexually frustrated taxi driver from England.
If I hadn't received this as a book to review I definitely would've stopped reading before getting halfway. I kept it in my work bag to read in some random airport, but ended up just listening to podcasts instead. Then I finally decided to finish it today while home in bed. Idid not find it funny and didn't even chuckle once. Mostly I just felt sorry for Mr Baxter, and frustrated too.
I suppose this book might be funnier if you recognise yourself in either Eric Baxter yourself, or in his wife. But I just found this book very very bland.
July 2, 2015
I get the feeling I've read a different book to everyone else. It was quite possibly the most pointless book I've read! There was a very small plot (how much can you realistically fit into 115pages?) and it didn't go anywhere. And it only took me an hour to read. Doesn't that tell you how basic it is??
The tag line of the book is "a delicious laugh out loud comedy!" So I was expecting something absolute hilarious. I think I chuckled to myself twice, and my biggest laugh was when Eric fell into the bin.
I did however like the format of the book as a diary entry, rather than a conventional story.
The tag line of the book is "a delicious laugh out loud comedy!" So I was expecting something absolute hilarious. I think I chuckled to myself twice, and my biggest laugh was when Eric fell into the bin.
I did however like the format of the book as a diary entry, rather than a conventional story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 12, 2015
I found this on Amazon and felt like I needed a laugh as life was getting boring for me lol. Well I picked this little laughing book up and it reminded me of all the times I've tried to diet and failed lol.
I loved Eric's banter and the way his family take the mick, laughed at the next door neighbour's cat with his antics and the amorous work colleague, well what can I say she is a lush with a heart. If you want to laugh at people attempting to do diets with the family antics then this is your book.
Can't wait to read the next installment.
I loved Eric's banter and the way his family take the mick, laughed at the next door neighbour's cat with his antics and the amorous work colleague, well what can I say she is a lush with a heart. If you want to laugh at people attempting to do diets with the family antics then this is your book.
Can't wait to read the next installment.
August 12, 2018
I was super excited to get my hands on this book, and was not disappointed at all by what i got.
With every turn of the page i found myself entertained and often laughing out loud, Steven has managed to bring great character to Eric and his family, with never be a dull moment.
I highly recommend this book to anyone that's in need of a good giggle!! Fantastic Read.
With every turn of the page i found myself entertained and often laughing out loud, Steven has managed to bring great character to Eric and his family, with never be a dull moment.
I highly recommend this book to anyone that's in need of a good giggle!! Fantastic Read.
July 12, 2015
Took a chance on this book as I knew nothing about the author and glad I did. Maybe because I have had teenagers, and my neighbour has cats and have also battled an exercise bike rather than eating that cream cake, or maybe because the author is just very good at creating a likeable character...either way, I did laugh out loud. Have to say though in my heart I was Team Carol by the end :)
June 3, 2015
quiet a funny read
November 19, 2015
Tries too hard to be funny. There were too many exclamation marks so the humour felt very forced.
January 3, 2016
Funniest book I've read for ages
As the title says, it makes you laugh out loud. Its not a long book, but I was engrossed in it from start to finish. Can't wait for the follow up.
As the title says, it makes you laugh out loud. Its not a long book, but I was engrossed in it from start to finish. Can't wait for the follow up.
January 8, 2015
Great, fun and easy read. Interesting as from a male perspective.
October 3, 2017
It is really great to have a male writer writing about his male character’s weight and dieting issues.
I found this book funny but with pathos as the lure of the cake, the biscuits, pork pies and even the burgers undo every effort our hero makes - even using his cycling machine.
He does manage to resist the lure however of the sex-hungry receptionist at work - even if only just.
Fun reading with a well portrayed central character.
My husband who also read it, found it punchy, funny, and insightful and would like to read more of this author.
I found this book funny but with pathos as the lure of the cake, the biscuits, pork pies and even the burgers undo every effort our hero makes - even using his cycling machine.
He does manage to resist the lure however of the sex-hungry receptionist at work - even if only just.
Fun reading with a well portrayed central character.
My husband who also read it, found it punchy, funny, and insightful and would like to read more of this author.
September 19, 2023
A very witty short read.
The book is written in diary format and features on Eric Baxter and his wife Helen, along with his children and the people he works with. Helen buys Eric an exercise bike for his birthday and really wants him to use it but Eric is just too tempted by sweet treats and temptations from text messages from one of his co-workers from the taxi firm where he works!
Only a short read but very witty, something different and part of a three book series. I will read the others to find out what Eric got up to next!
The book is written in diary format and features on Eric Baxter and his wife Helen, along with his children and the people he works with. Helen buys Eric an exercise bike for his birthday and really wants him to use it but Eric is just too tempted by sweet treats and temptations from text messages from one of his co-workers from the taxi firm where he works!
Only a short read but very witty, something different and part of a three book series. I will read the others to find out what Eric got up to next!
July 18, 2017
A light and funny read. The book is all about a taxi driver who wants some action in his bed with his wife. He gets an invitation from his colleague but doesn't want to betray his wife and marriage. It is a funny take on how the diet works when you are too much into giving to temptations in a funny sort of way. It could have been a better, the whole cat messing up with its poo part seemed unlinked to the story, would have loved to read how he looked at food instead!!!
May 25, 2018
I’m always a bit wary of books that are marketed as hilarious because invariably they aren’t. This book had some mild laughs but countering that was the fact that the main character was not a nice human being. Despite having a weight problem himself he is awful to Carol and the description of her naked body was just vile. Any laughs were countered by the awful misogyny. The ending was absent, the book kind of just stopped. All in all it wasn’t great.
December 30, 2018
funny for thin people too!
i read this literally in one morning i couldn’t put it down! then when i was crying with laughter over it for the third time my partner decided he wanted to read it. i think this book may have changed our lives because weirdly we are exactly like the characters but about 10 years earlier and seeing where we were headed....he just bought a rowing machine hahahaha
i read this literally in one morning i couldn’t put it down! then when i was crying with laughter over it for the third time my partner decided he wanted to read it. i think this book may have changed our lives because weirdly we are exactly like the characters but about 10 years earlier and seeing where we were headed....he just bought a rowing machine hahahaha
October 13, 2017
Funny, short, not bad!
I've been reading a lot of crime/psychological type books lately so fancied something a little light hearted. This was a good choice. A few laugh out loud moments and I like the characters, the only downside is that its so short! Was surprised by the sudden ending. Was a good read though and I will probably get around to reading the next one too.
I've been reading a lot of crime/psychological type books lately so fancied something a little light hearted. This was a good choice. A few laugh out loud moments and I like the characters, the only downside is that its so short! Was surprised by the sudden ending. Was a good read though and I will probably get around to reading the next one too.
October 25, 2017
Had been reading a lot of Nordic Noir and needed a little light relief! An absolute gem of a book! written in a totally true to life manner, poor Eric ! And as someone also trying to lose weight I giggled at the philosophy of equating snickers bars to time spent on exercise bike!..... I've been there too lol! I'll definitely be reading the follow up!
June 13, 2018
An ok read, short story, some funny bits, some not so funny. Purchased for a giggle, to read and to pass onto my husband for him to laugh at too. After my review he wasn't keen to even give it a go. Lots of true to life stuff. Not a challenge to read. If someone is looking for a little bit more than a magazine to browse through, is aged over 30, they might like it.
January 9, 2019
Nice change of pace
So many comedies nowadays are from a female perspective. They're always trying to lose weight, having job problems or relationship issues. So I found it interesting to see these issues explored via the male perspective. Eric's war with neighbours cat was hilarious but I did not like his wife Helen hence the 3* review.
So many comedies nowadays are from a female perspective. They're always trying to lose weight, having job problems or relationship issues. So I found it interesting to see these issues explored via the male perspective. Eric's war with neighbours cat was hilarious but I did not like his wife Helen hence the 3* review.
January 26, 2017
Very good read
Hilarious, romantic, cheeky and an all round good read. The reader joins Eric through his diary, shares his dieting and life struggles, and laughs (or cries) right along with him. Thoroughly enjoyable lighthearted story.
Hilarious, romantic, cheeky and an all round good read. The reader joins Eric through his diary, shares his dieting and life struggles, and laughs (or cries) right along with him. Thoroughly enjoyable lighthearted story.
December 31, 2017
Hilarious
Well what can I say. Apart from it left me with tears of laughter from start too finish. Almost reminded me of myself at times. I'm now going to make myself a brew. And took into a gigantic piece of chocolate cake.
Well what can I say. Apart from it left me with tears of laughter from start too finish. Almost reminded me of myself at times. I'm now going to make myself a brew. And took into a gigantic piece of chocolate cake.
March 28, 2018
Well written
This book was well written and very funny but I did not like the main character's family at all. They just don't seem like they love him at all and just plain mean some times. I really enjoyed the book though
This book was well written and very funny but I did not like the main character's family at all. They just don't seem like they love him at all and just plain mean some times. I really enjoyed the book though
July 13, 2019
I find it hard to find a good book..especially one that makes me laugh..
Well I laughed at almost every other sentence. I suffer from anxiety however this cleared up for a few hours... A great read. Now the next one please.
Well I laughed at almost every other sentence. I suffer from anxiety however this cleared up for a few hours... A great read. Now the next one please.
August 15, 2017
Nice wee read
A nice shirt and sweet comedy. Love how it was everyday family life and showed the difficulty s that can pop up in a relationship.
A nice shirt and sweet comedy. Love how it was everyday family life and showed the difficulty s that can pop up in a relationship.
August 25, 2017
Funny and light hearted
This book certainly had me exhorting away and forgetting the daily grind of life. The real problem is I was just getting really into it and it ended
This book certainly had me exhorting away and forgetting the daily grind of life. The real problem is I was just getting really into it and it ended
Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews