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Squire Haggard's Journal
A bawdy parody of an 18th-century English gentleman's diary that links Boswell to "Blackadder."
143 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1977
163 people want to read
About the author
Michael Frederick Green
30 books4 followersMichael Frederick Green ( 2 January 1927 - 25 February 2018) was a British journalist and author of humorous books. He is best known for The Art of Coarse Rugby, The Art of Coarse Acting and other books with similar titles.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
December 26, 2007
What a riot - after reading Pepys, this book is like a breath of fresh air. It is such ridiculous fun and so much tongue in cheek "diary." Very British, very Blackadder silly, and after spending time with the pompous Squire Haggard, anything in "real life" seems absolutely trivial. Pleasant respite from the grind!
July 12, 2025
Squire Haggard’s Journal by Michael Green is one of the 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read https://www.theguardian.com/books/200...
Nine out of 10
Albeit this short, often hilarious novel sits has been Chosen to be among the best – you have to read it and so does everybody else…at least the 1,000 novels list says so – it has no Wikipedia page, and only twenty four (24!) readers have voted on goodreads – in contrast with perhaps 24 million who have expressed a view on Dan Brown’s works – and if this is not War and Peace – which is clearly not gaining a reading audience in the age of ever decreasing attention spans and Putin’s invasion of the Ukraine, with nuclear threats from a despot that looks like he has lost it, paranoid ex KGB, cold blooded killer that he has always been…we have forgotten Litvinenko and many others murdered, the former killed with Polonium no less, the cyber-attack on the Baltic states, physical war on Georgia, the occupation of the Crimea – however, Squire Haggard’s Journal is much better than any Harry Potter…
Speaking of the war in Ukraine, there was a feeling that the under signed had that he should apologize – well, if there would be an audience that is, in which case he would worry about being cancelled – that when poor earthlings are bombarded by Russian war criminals, sent there by the most hated man on the planet right now – I mean Xi would have to be right there next to him, together with those cheering the tyrant, or just abstaining from the UN vote condemning the war, such as AMLO of Mexico, Maduro, Modi, let us just stop here and insist a little on Xi, who has his eye on Taiwan, which he wants to take down, following the model applied right now in the Ukraine – instead of showing empathy – according to Milan Kundera pity is something we feel for those we see as somewhat inferior and sympathy is for those we consider equal http://realini.blogspot.com/2018/06/t... - I just sit here and laugh with Amos Haggard
On the other hand, watching the news can become so depressing – it generally is, and one is advised to avoid excess here, for ‘if it bleeds, it leads’ is the rule for that segment, which does not insist on trains coming on time, or lame, positive stories – that we will all experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and especially in the vicinity of what will soon be Russia (?) we will wonder if we are not going to be next – especially given that in 1945, Soviet Union [whose demise Putin regrets as the greatest calamity of the last century, not the genocide, Holocaust, nothing, only the destruction of what he wants to piece back together now] has brought in this region its occupying troops and communism…
‘And now for something completely different’ http://realini.blogspot.com/2019/05/a... maybe a few words about the novel would be welcome – and who would cheer one must wonder – and some degree of homage paid to Amos Haggard, the hero aka anti-hero of the novel – included in the Comedy section of the 1,000 novels list – who may or must make Woke activists uneasy, maybe ordinary readers like you and me as well, for although it is all in jest and we laugh at his preposterous, excessive, gargantuan, pathetic excesses, violence, immorality, vulgar behavior, there may be a feeling that he is no Putin for sure, but if he were, Haggard could well act in a similar manner…
Indeed, yours truly has always felt unhappy with the Game People Play – incidentally, Games People Play by Eric Berne is a psychology classic http://realini.blogspot.com/2013/09/g... - when they ask or just put a rhetorical question on the table – ‘oh, if you were in his place, do you think you would be any different’ – which is vitiated by the fact that they know they will be worse and assume the others will act horridly too and the knowledge that yes, many ordinary folk are just as vile and if given the chance, they would not just do the most stupid things in traffic, but they will go and punish other countries, if placed in a position of power…look at how they vote for Trump – and a serious lineup of others like him – and keep him as leader of let us just say about one hundred million Ericans…America should have been called US of Erica from Eric of Norway, much more relevant to its history than Vespucci even when he just called, a few days ago, the invader a genius and savvy…
Thus there is a sense of some unease – interrupted frequently by laughs – when putting Amos Haggard into perspective and saying that he is the subject of irony, satire and we cannot eliminate negative personages just because some will protest and ask for ‘cancelling one, or all they dislike and feel uncomfortable with’ (which seems to be a tsunami in the civilized west now) but when he is at the center of the action, the main character, we may see it in more than one dimension and say Haggard, we laugh at your barrels of drink, the way you fornicate, the kicks you send towards servants, innocents, papists and all, but there is a feeling that maybe some will read about his exploits and take this as role model – on the other hand, only twenty four have rated this on the most important site for readers…
Squire Haggard has debts towards so many, dating from twenty years back, he does not know what water looks like, until he has one glass in middle age, ‘Lady Emily vomits when Haggard approaches and her horse is now throwing up too’, the behavior of this rascal is so outrageous that I need to tone down the covert criticism mentioned above and say it is not possible to be so absurd (unless of course, your name is Xi, Putin, Trump and let us stop here) and his son, Roderick, is not much, if at all better, his own parent does not find anything to like, except for an elasticity of his face, which helps him bets on who makes the funniest grimaces – father and son win money by all sorts of schemes, cheating at cards, provoking contests on who eats the most, expectorates farther…the food they eat is most often disgusting, sheep brain, at one point eels that ‘may not have been dead’, and frequently, it is past due date, in which case, he once the Squire gives the bad pie to…his wife, who turns purple as a consequence.
Roderick expects to marry a rich girl, who is eight years his senior, and that would solve many of the problems of the family, seeing as Amos Haggard is so much in debt that he gives the house to his servant – people in service have not been paid in years – and he would face jail…when they meet the rich father at their mansion, Roderick is so aggressive that he nearly has sex with the girl in the room above and his leg is hanging down in the place where guests and hosts are able to see the outage…the bellicose parent wants satisfaction and the Haggards run from his path, all the way to France and then Italy…
Nine out of 10
Albeit this short, often hilarious novel sits has been Chosen to be among the best – you have to read it and so does everybody else…at least the 1,000 novels list says so – it has no Wikipedia page, and only twenty four (24!) readers have voted on goodreads – in contrast with perhaps 24 million who have expressed a view on Dan Brown’s works – and if this is not War and Peace – which is clearly not gaining a reading audience in the age of ever decreasing attention spans and Putin’s invasion of the Ukraine, with nuclear threats from a despot that looks like he has lost it, paranoid ex KGB, cold blooded killer that he has always been…we have forgotten Litvinenko and many others murdered, the former killed with Polonium no less, the cyber-attack on the Baltic states, physical war on Georgia, the occupation of the Crimea – however, Squire Haggard’s Journal is much better than any Harry Potter…
Speaking of the war in Ukraine, there was a feeling that the under signed had that he should apologize – well, if there would be an audience that is, in which case he would worry about being cancelled – that when poor earthlings are bombarded by Russian war criminals, sent there by the most hated man on the planet right now – I mean Xi would have to be right there next to him, together with those cheering the tyrant, or just abstaining from the UN vote condemning the war, such as AMLO of Mexico, Maduro, Modi, let us just stop here and insist a little on Xi, who has his eye on Taiwan, which he wants to take down, following the model applied right now in the Ukraine – instead of showing empathy – according to Milan Kundera pity is something we feel for those we see as somewhat inferior and sympathy is for those we consider equal http://realini.blogspot.com/2018/06/t... - I just sit here and laugh with Amos Haggard
On the other hand, watching the news can become so depressing – it generally is, and one is advised to avoid excess here, for ‘if it bleeds, it leads’ is the rule for that segment, which does not insist on trains coming on time, or lame, positive stories – that we will all experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and especially in the vicinity of what will soon be Russia (?) we will wonder if we are not going to be next – especially given that in 1945, Soviet Union [whose demise Putin regrets as the greatest calamity of the last century, not the genocide, Holocaust, nothing, only the destruction of what he wants to piece back together now] has brought in this region its occupying troops and communism…
‘And now for something completely different’ http://realini.blogspot.com/2019/05/a... maybe a few words about the novel would be welcome – and who would cheer one must wonder – and some degree of homage paid to Amos Haggard, the hero aka anti-hero of the novel – included in the Comedy section of the 1,000 novels list – who may or must make Woke activists uneasy, maybe ordinary readers like you and me as well, for although it is all in jest and we laugh at his preposterous, excessive, gargantuan, pathetic excesses, violence, immorality, vulgar behavior, there may be a feeling that he is no Putin for sure, but if he were, Haggard could well act in a similar manner…
Indeed, yours truly has always felt unhappy with the Game People Play – incidentally, Games People Play by Eric Berne is a psychology classic http://realini.blogspot.com/2013/09/g... - when they ask or just put a rhetorical question on the table – ‘oh, if you were in his place, do you think you would be any different’ – which is vitiated by the fact that they know they will be worse and assume the others will act horridly too and the knowledge that yes, many ordinary folk are just as vile and if given the chance, they would not just do the most stupid things in traffic, but they will go and punish other countries, if placed in a position of power…look at how they vote for Trump – and a serious lineup of others like him – and keep him as leader of let us just say about one hundred million Ericans…America should have been called US of Erica from Eric of Norway, much more relevant to its history than Vespucci even when he just called, a few days ago, the invader a genius and savvy…
Thus there is a sense of some unease – interrupted frequently by laughs – when putting Amos Haggard into perspective and saying that he is the subject of irony, satire and we cannot eliminate negative personages just because some will protest and ask for ‘cancelling one, or all they dislike and feel uncomfortable with’ (which seems to be a tsunami in the civilized west now) but when he is at the center of the action, the main character, we may see it in more than one dimension and say Haggard, we laugh at your barrels of drink, the way you fornicate, the kicks you send towards servants, innocents, papists and all, but there is a feeling that maybe some will read about his exploits and take this as role model – on the other hand, only twenty four have rated this on the most important site for readers…
Squire Haggard has debts towards so many, dating from twenty years back, he does not know what water looks like, until he has one glass in middle age, ‘Lady Emily vomits when Haggard approaches and her horse is now throwing up too’, the behavior of this rascal is so outrageous that I need to tone down the covert criticism mentioned above and say it is not possible to be so absurd (unless of course, your name is Xi, Putin, Trump and let us stop here) and his son, Roderick, is not much, if at all better, his own parent does not find anything to like, except for an elasticity of his face, which helps him bets on who makes the funniest grimaces – father and son win money by all sorts of schemes, cheating at cards, provoking contests on who eats the most, expectorates farther…the food they eat is most often disgusting, sheep brain, at one point eels that ‘may not have been dead’, and frequently, it is past due date, in which case, he once the Squire gives the bad pie to…his wife, who turns purple as a consequence.
Roderick expects to marry a rich girl, who is eight years his senior, and that would solve many of the problems of the family, seeing as Amos Haggard is so much in debt that he gives the house to his servant – people in service have not been paid in years – and he would face jail…when they meet the rich father at their mansion, Roderick is so aggressive that he nearly has sex with the girl in the room above and his leg is hanging down in the place where guests and hosts are able to see the outage…the bellicose parent wants satisfaction and the Haggards run from his path, all the way to France and then Italy…
Want to read
July 12, 2016* 1000 novels everyone must read: the definitive list
Selected by the Guardian's Review team and a panel of expert judges, this list includes only novels – no memoirs, no short stories, no long poems – from any decade and in any language. Originally published in thematic supplements – love, crime, comedy, family and self, state of the nation, science fiction and fantasy, war and travel – they appear here for the first time in a single list.
Selected by the Guardian's Review team and a panel of expert judges, this list includes only novels – no memoirs, no short stories, no long poems – from any decade and in any language. Originally published in thematic supplements – love, crime, comedy, family and self, state of the nation, science fiction and fantasy, war and travel – they appear here for the first time in a single list.
July 7, 2024
If only Green had written one autobiography less and a few more of these. We find ourselves in late-18th-century England, where Haggard is a member of the rural gentry, occupying his days by drinking vast amounts of alcohol, leaving debts unpaid and launching attacks on the lower orders. All this while serving as role model to his son Roderick, a young man who makes Bertie Wooster look like a combination of John von Neumann and James Bond. Their adventures in Britain and on the Continent, evading creditors and outraged fathers while hoping to restore the family's fortune, constitute what can be called the plot.
Haggard emerged from a Daily Telegraph column to which Green contributed. Then as now, the Telegraph knew its audience, but it may have been a better-written paper in those days.
Whilst on my way to evict Granny Turnip I encountered my old friend Sir Chas. Faggot, who wagered five sovs. that he could spit upon more undesirable persons than myself. I accepted in a trice and succeeded in expectorating upon fifteen Dissenters, three Papists and two foreigners, beating Sir Chas. by two Quakers and a Methodist. Exhilarated by my success, I crossed the road to spit upon a man who looked like a Jacobite, but upon my doing so he bowed and said, "Thank you, sir, for coming across. I was just about to visit you," and handed me a writ for debt for 300 gns. Whilst I was readg. this the dog spat upon me and hurried away.
Haggard emerged from a Daily Telegraph column to which Green contributed. Then as now, the Telegraph knew its audience, but it may have been a better-written paper in those days.
December 22, 2025
[Hutchinson] (1975). SB. 1/1. Uncorrected Proof. 128 Pages. Purchased from Michael Sobell Hospice.
Squire Amos Haggard is the bigoted, scrounging, swindling, thieving, hedonistic, petulant, cruel, rat-arsed, scheming, amoral protagonist.
He’s a monstrous cross between Sir John Falstaff and Sir Harry Flashman V.C., K.C.B., K.C.I.E.
The picaresque narrative is bawdy, irreverent, whimsical and awash with slapstick violence. In the author’s parlance, it’s ‘coarse’, though masterfully executed and highly amusing.
Michael Ffolkes’ (Brian Davis (1925-1988)) illustrations are generally poor.
Notable exceptions exist. P. 49, for example, shows “S. Johnson” and “Boswell” ensconced at The Turk’s Head, Gerrard Street, Soho. It’s great. At that address (No. 9), in 1764, Joshua Reynolds (1723-1792), and Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) founded “The Literary Club”. Sadly, the site is now occupied by the “New Loon Moon Supermarket”, though there is - at least - a Blue Plaque in commemoration. Various notable historical figures feature - as is the case with George MacDonald Fraser’s (1925-2008) Flashman Diaries (1969-2005).
Squire Amos Haggard is the bigoted, scrounging, swindling, thieving, hedonistic, petulant, cruel, rat-arsed, scheming, amoral protagonist.
He’s a monstrous cross between Sir John Falstaff and Sir Harry Flashman V.C., K.C.B., K.C.I.E.
The picaresque narrative is bawdy, irreverent, whimsical and awash with slapstick violence. In the author’s parlance, it’s ‘coarse’, though masterfully executed and highly amusing.
Michael Ffolkes’ (Brian Davis (1925-1988)) illustrations are generally poor.
Notable exceptions exist. P. 49, for example, shows “S. Johnson” and “Boswell” ensconced at The Turk’s Head, Gerrard Street, Soho. It’s great. At that address (No. 9), in 1764, Joshua Reynolds (1723-1792), and Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) founded “The Literary Club”. Sadly, the site is now occupied by the “New Loon Moon Supermarket”, though there is - at least - a Blue Plaque in commemoration. Various notable historical figures feature - as is the case with George MacDonald Fraser’s (1925-2008) Flashman Diaries (1969-2005).
December 5, 2018
This riotous “journal” really hits the spot in terms of silly British fun - Amos Haggard is a drunken fool and his adventures running from debtors with his idiot son mirror the adventures of Candide - historic personages such as Mozart and events such as the American Revolution are thrown in to provide context; medical treatments are barbaric and travel is long-suffering. But after breezing through this ridiculous novella, I have the satisfaction of having dipped into very British humor, and self-ridicule. A fun and pompous read; I highly recommend it for some brainless fun.
January 1, 2026
It takes a little bit to get use to the writing style. It's not a riot a moment but it does have it's moments most towards the end of the book. On a side note good luck finding an affordable copy so if you see one grab it. Or even better if you can find a copy in a library borrow it.
March 10, 2024
Bawdy and convincing pastiche of 18th century (bad) manners. If you're in the mood for lewd, crude and hilarious, this should do the trick. If not, get thee to a nunnery forthwith.
September 8, 2016
Hmm, not as amusing as I remember it
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews