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The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level
Growing and building a great marriage does not happen by accident. Taking your relationship to the next level requires attention and effort. Even people in great marriages face challenges and encounter difficulties. What tools can you place in your hands to build the marriage you desire? In The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage, best-selling author and communicator, Dr. Allen Hunt, shares the life-giving principles that are necessary for success in your relationship. Utilizing his decades of experience with couples, Dr. Hunt shares real-life wisdom and help for your marriage. He shows • The Secret of Purpose nourished one couple through the highs and lows of a 65-year marriage. • The Secret of The Little Things proves to be the greatest predictor of the health of your marriage as it draws directly from the wisdom of St. Therese de Lisieux. • The Secret of Ages and Stages provided the foundation for a couple's 82-year marriage, the longest of its time. The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage will equip you and your marriage to begin moving toward all that God hopes and desires for your relationship.
164 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 10, 2015
34 people are currently reading
173 people want to read
About the author
Allen R. Hunt
17 books33 followersDr. Allen Hunt and his team are pursuing a vision to build a nationwide talk radio show on mainstream stations to create a place where real life and faith come together. The Allen Hunt Show focuses not on what's right and left but on what's right and wrong. Allen has been named to Talkers Magazine's prestigious list of the 100 heavy hitters in talk radio, receiving a ranking unprecedented for a newcomer in the industry.
Hunt stepped aside July 1, 2007 from his role as Senior Minister at Mount Pisgah, a United Methodist congregation serving more than 15,000 persons each week through its ministries in Alpharetta, Georgia.
On January 6, 2008, on the Feast of the Epiphany, Allen converted to Catholicism. This transition represented the culmination of a 15 year journey in which God began leading Allen home to the Church.
Allen and his wife, Anita, live in Atlanta, Georgia, and have two daughters, SarahAnn and Griffin Elizabeth.
Hunt stepped aside July 1, 2007 from his role as Senior Minister at Mount Pisgah, a United Methodist congregation serving more than 15,000 persons each week through its ministries in Alpharetta, Georgia.
On January 6, 2008, on the Feast of the Epiphany, Allen converted to Catholicism. This transition represented the culmination of a 15 year journey in which God began leading Allen home to the Church.
Allen and his wife, Anita, live in Atlanta, Georgia, and have two daughters, SarahAnn and Griffin Elizabeth.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
November 28, 2016
This was the second book by Dr. Allen Hunt that I have read this year and it was an incredible read! This book was written from Dr. Hunts extensive experience as a counsellor, He draws from decades of experience working with couples, speaking at events and observing marriages both successful and those that were not. I believe that no matter how good a marriage you have it can always be better. This book will be a great resource for you no matter what state your marriage is in. Hunt takes examples from real life couples, and presents his 21 Secrets in an easy to read and digest way. The advice is easily applied and will help couples strive to achieve God’s plan for their marriage.
The Sections in this book are:
The Reason
The Inspiration
Mysterious Secrets
01. The Secret of Purpose
02. The Secret of Sacrament
03. The Secret of Synergy
Revolutionary Secrets
04. The Secret of Bedrock
05. The Secret of Little Things
Daily Secrets
06. The Secret of the Love Bank
07. The Secret of Romance
08. The Secret of the Best Friend
09. The Secret of Ages and Stages
10. The Secret of the Bed
Crucial Secrets 11. The Secret of Priorities
12. The Secret of Separation
13. The Secret of Insiders
14. The Secret of Attention and Affection
15. The Secret of Women
16. The Secret of Men
Grace Secrets
17. The Secret of Sacrifice
18. The Secret of Children
19. The Secret of Life
20. The Secret of Forgiveness
21. The Secret of 8
Each chapter is written in the same way. Each section begin with a quote, from a saint, church documents, and even Shakespeare. Then we have a main teaching section, which is followed by Real-Life Help. But the book begins with Hunt’s reason for writing the book, and he states it took him 25 years of marriage to realize this: “What’s the secret? Your decision to marry will almost certainly be the most significant and influential decision of your life.” Expanding upon this declaration he says: “Why is your marriage decision so important? First, because your marriage will bind you in a relationship so close and so intimate that it will profoundly shape your whole future. Second, because your marriage will also deeply impact and affect the lives of the people around you for the rest of your life. In fact, this one crucial decision—the selection of your husband or wife—will not only influence every aspect of your life; it will also affect your entire family (your parents, your siblings, your children, all of them) in ways you cannot anticipate, well after you are dead and gone.” Our marriages have impact every day, on the lives of our friends, on our families, the examples we set for our children. The question is what sort of influence we are having. Through reading this book and applying some of the exercises we can help each other grow, and through that growth to have a better impact on those who witness our marriage.
In speaking about the Sacrament of marriage hunt says: “That mystery is the secret of sacrament. Two lives really are becoming one. Husband and wife are joining together, not only physically but also emotionally, spiritually, and in every way. Husband and wife will live together, create a life together as a couple, and they will have the potential to partner with God to create new life through children. Husband and wife will rejoice together, suffer together, and age together. Their lives and experiences will become as one, a mystical union. A sacrament. Remember again the words of Saint John of the Cross: God’s purpose is to make your soul great. The sacraments are intended to do just that. In other words, the Holy Spirit desires to use your marriage to share invisible grace and inward holiness with your soul. That’s what a sacrament does.” How many of us see our marriage as a tool to help us get to heaven. As a source of true life. As a tool to help us become the best version of yourself. That is the biggest lesson I learned from this book.
But I must warn you, if you are not reading this together with your spouse and try to implement some of the exercises you might freak your spouse out. One of the Real-Life Help’s in the book is: “Lie on the bed together as a couple. Do not touch each other. Say nothing. Just look each other in the eyes. Do this for three full minutes, eye-to-eye, next to each other, on the bed. You are re-establishing a deeper bond. Build this simple practice into your life as a couple several times a year. And the mystery of the secret of the bed will begin to find its way into you.” Now I normally get up well before my wife and have often left the house before she is awake. After reading this exercise, the next time we were in bed and both awake I tried it. After About 30 seconds my wife became uncomfortable, wanting to know what was going on. After I explained she said I should have told her first.
This is another great book by Allen Hunt, and from Beacon Publishing. It will help you strive to become the best version of yourself. But you do so by doing so through growing and developing your marriage. In some ways this book reminds me of Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? By Gary L. Thomas, both Thomas and Hunt have a similar focus and direction in their teachings. But I loved the practical helps in each chapter of this book. It is an excellent read and I can highly recommend it to anyone who wants to take their marriage to the next level.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Dr. Allen R. Hunt.
(Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: A Year of Reading Intention - Catholic Reading!)
The Sections in this book are:
The Reason
The Inspiration
Mysterious Secrets
01. The Secret of Purpose
02. The Secret of Sacrament
03. The Secret of Synergy
Revolutionary Secrets
04. The Secret of Bedrock
05. The Secret of Little Things
Daily Secrets
06. The Secret of the Love Bank
07. The Secret of Romance
08. The Secret of the Best Friend
09. The Secret of Ages and Stages
10. The Secret of the Bed
Crucial Secrets 11. The Secret of Priorities
12. The Secret of Separation
13. The Secret of Insiders
14. The Secret of Attention and Affection
15. The Secret of Women
16. The Secret of Men
Grace Secrets
17. The Secret of Sacrifice
18. The Secret of Children
19. The Secret of Life
20. The Secret of Forgiveness
21. The Secret of 8
Each chapter is written in the same way. Each section begin with a quote, from a saint, church documents, and even Shakespeare. Then we have a main teaching section, which is followed by Real-Life Help. But the book begins with Hunt’s reason for writing the book, and he states it took him 25 years of marriage to realize this: “What’s the secret? Your decision to marry will almost certainly be the most significant and influential decision of your life.” Expanding upon this declaration he says: “Why is your marriage decision so important? First, because your marriage will bind you in a relationship so close and so intimate that it will profoundly shape your whole future. Second, because your marriage will also deeply impact and affect the lives of the people around you for the rest of your life. In fact, this one crucial decision—the selection of your husband or wife—will not only influence every aspect of your life; it will also affect your entire family (your parents, your siblings, your children, all of them) in ways you cannot anticipate, well after you are dead and gone.” Our marriages have impact every day, on the lives of our friends, on our families, the examples we set for our children. The question is what sort of influence we are having. Through reading this book and applying some of the exercises we can help each other grow, and through that growth to have a better impact on those who witness our marriage.
In speaking about the Sacrament of marriage hunt says: “That mystery is the secret of sacrament. Two lives really are becoming one. Husband and wife are joining together, not only physically but also emotionally, spiritually, and in every way. Husband and wife will live together, create a life together as a couple, and they will have the potential to partner with God to create new life through children. Husband and wife will rejoice together, suffer together, and age together. Their lives and experiences will become as one, a mystical union. A sacrament. Remember again the words of Saint John of the Cross: God’s purpose is to make your soul great. The sacraments are intended to do just that. In other words, the Holy Spirit desires to use your marriage to share invisible grace and inward holiness with your soul. That’s what a sacrament does.” How many of us see our marriage as a tool to help us get to heaven. As a source of true life. As a tool to help us become the best version of yourself. That is the biggest lesson I learned from this book.
But I must warn you, if you are not reading this together with your spouse and try to implement some of the exercises you might freak your spouse out. One of the Real-Life Help’s in the book is: “Lie on the bed together as a couple. Do not touch each other. Say nothing. Just look each other in the eyes. Do this for three full minutes, eye-to-eye, next to each other, on the bed. You are re-establishing a deeper bond. Build this simple practice into your life as a couple several times a year. And the mystery of the secret of the bed will begin to find its way into you.” Now I normally get up well before my wife and have often left the house before she is awake. After reading this exercise, the next time we were in bed and both awake I tried it. After About 30 seconds my wife became uncomfortable, wanting to know what was going on. After I explained she said I should have told her first.
This is another great book by Allen Hunt, and from Beacon Publishing. It will help you strive to become the best version of yourself. But you do so by doing so through growing and developing your marriage. In some ways this book reminds me of Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? By Gary L. Thomas, both Thomas and Hunt have a similar focus and direction in their teachings. But I loved the practical helps in each chapter of this book. It is an excellent read and I can highly recommend it to anyone who wants to take their marriage to the next level.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Dr. Allen R. Hunt.
(Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: A Year of Reading Intention - Catholic Reading!)
July 10, 2020
Nothing earth shattering in this book, but great reminders about how to use marriage as a way to work towards heaven and how to navigate marriage as a couple. The examples of other relationships that Dr. Hunt uses throughout are easy to understand and are relatable. The commentary of Dr. Hunt’s own marriage also add to the quality of this book. I really enjoyed his wisdom.
May 3, 2022
It may serve best as an overview. If you *start* reading about marriage with this book, do yourself a favor and plan to follow up on some of the specifics.
Being a book with a Christian POV and an overview, it mostly seems to be written with the garden variety genial egotist in mind. My personal issue is that rather than being straightforwardly egotistical, I'm as codependent and worried about how awful and selfish I am as the day is long, which to be sure is probably even more of a waste than being straightforwardly egotistical... but in any case, just telling myself to shape up and not be so selfish is a comically inadequate and misdirected approach, as I have decades worth of experience to corroborate. So while I appreciate this book rounding up a lot of the material I've read before and putting it into a summary for me, it's not The Answer* for me.
(* which probably doesn't exist in closed form, as the mathematicians say)
Being a book with a Christian POV and an overview, it mostly seems to be written with the garden variety genial egotist in mind. My personal issue is that rather than being straightforwardly egotistical, I'm as codependent and worried about how awful and selfish I am as the day is long, which to be sure is probably even more of a waste than being straightforwardly egotistical... but in any case, just telling myself to shape up and not be so selfish is a comically inadequate and misdirected approach, as I have decades worth of experience to corroborate. So while I appreciate this book rounding up a lot of the material I've read before and putting it into a summary for me, it's not The Answer* for me.
(* which probably doesn't exist in closed form, as the mathematicians say)
June 1, 2023
Overall this was a beautiful book on love, sacrifice, marriage, and purpose. A highly enjoyable and edifying read.
PROS:
- This book inspired me to love my wife, and family, in a deeper and more intentional way.
- Some of these secrets have the potential to be truly life-changing (the secret of purpose, bedrock, best friends, ages & stages, and sacrifice.
- The author made this short read intriguing and desirable.
CONS:
- Some of the stories of real life couples were necessary or boring.
- Some of the "secrets" are well known or obvious (romance, forgiveness, synergy).
- The author sacrificed depth for breadth. In some chapters, I wanted more content, but instead the author chose to cover too many subjects.
OVERALL
- A very uplifting read that has already inspired me to love my family more. Definitely a book I will come back to every now and then.
PROS:
- This book inspired me to love my wife, and family, in a deeper and more intentional way.
- Some of these secrets have the potential to be truly life-changing (the secret of purpose, bedrock, best friends, ages & stages, and sacrifice.
- The author made this short read intriguing and desirable.
CONS:
- Some of the stories of real life couples were necessary or boring.
- Some of the "secrets" are well known or obvious (romance, forgiveness, synergy).
- The author sacrificed depth for breadth. In some chapters, I wanted more content, but instead the author chose to cover too many subjects.
OVERALL
- A very uplifting read that has already inspired me to love my family more. Definitely a book I will come back to every now and then.
April 23, 2020
“The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” articulates some essential elements of marriage and many good reminders for marriages to become healthier. I think some chapters could be useful to individuals or couples who are preparing for marriage. There are also points the author makes that helped me think about aspects of marriage and faith in new ways.
April 2, 2019
I wish I received this book prior to our marriage. A must read if you want your marriage to thrive the way you desire and according to God’s will. If your marriage is already great, still get it. WORTH IT.
July 10, 2019
Pretty much what you would expect from a faith based marriage book. Nothing earth shattering, but a good reminder of how to love and respect your spouse, prioritize the important things, pray, and support each other. It was an easy read, a chapter a night - less than 10 pages. Solid, but not amazing. However, it would take a lot for these types of books to amaze me.
August 27, 2021
I liked the book. My husband and I read it together and it prompted some good conversations and helped us develop our prayer life as a couple. Some of what Dr. Hunt suggests is a bit rigid in gender roles which put me off a little bit, but it’s to be expected from a catholic author.
May 9, 2017
3.5 stars
September 1, 2018
I'm divorced and I learned from this book about what marriage should be. I am giving it to my daughter and her fiance so it can help them build a strong marriage together.
August 5, 2019
The advice in this book is wonderful and can be applied to other relationships!
July 29, 2020
This book is an excellent guid filled with great advice for couples in all phases of marriage. Highly recommended!!
December 28, 2020
Enjoyed reading and journaling a chapter a day. Actionable ideas.
December 18, 2022
I feel like this book was written FOR me.
August 15, 2023
21 ways the help build and maintain a Christ centered marriage.
January 28, 2024
This was gifted to me ahead of my wedding. There are some useful things in here, though a lot of it is pretty self explanatory.
June 11, 2024
My go to marriage book.
November 28, 2016
This work contains tips and suggestions for a successful marriage. The material is religious concept based but contains useful advice that should be read by both partners in a marriage.
April 2, 2017
good book
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews