Sofia Khan Is Not Obliged

Sofia Khan #1

by Ayisha Malik

'Brilliant idea! Excellent! Muslim dating? Well, I had no idea you were allowed to date.' Then he leaned towards me and looked at me sympathetically. 'Are your parents quite disappointed?'

Unlucky in love once again after her possible-marriage-partner-to-be proves a little too close to his parents, Sofia Khan is ready to renounce men for good. Or at least she was, until her boss persuades her to write a tell-all expose about the Muslim dating scene.

As her woes become her work, Sofia must lean on the support of her brilliant friends, baffled colleagues and baffling parents as she goes in search of stories for her book. In amongst the marriage-crazy relatives, racist tube passengers and decidedly odd online daters, could there be a a lingering possibility that she might just be falling in love...?

Genres: Romance, Fiction, Contemporary, Chick Lit, Adult, Audiobook, Contemporary Romance

456 pages, Paperback

First published September 3, 2015

About the author

Ayisha is a British Muslim, lifelong Londoner, and lover of books. She read English Literature and went on to complete an MA in Creative Writing (though told most of her family it was an MA in English Literature – Creative Writing is not a subject, after all.) She has spent various spells teaching, photocopying, volunteering and being a publicist. Now, when she isn’t searching for a jar of Nutella in her cupboards, she divides her time between writing and being managing editor at Cornerstones Literary Consultancy.

Ayisha is one of WH Smith's Fresh Talent picks, Winter 2016.

'Sofia Khan Is Not Obliged' is her first novel and will be published by Bonnier in Jan 2016.

'Fun, Fresh and Funny' – MHAIRI MCFARLANE, bestselling author of 'You Had Me At Hello.'

'Malik achieves the perfect balance of romance and humour' – INDEPENDENT

'In creating a host of characters that are normal in their abnormality, relatable yet individual, Malik is undoubtedly making a difference.' – NEW STATESMAN

'Thoroughly engaging and laugh-out-loud funny from the off, this witty, unapologetic, honest, fun and feisty tale fully deserves the buzz it's getting' – HEAT MAGAZINE

'Feisty, funny and relatable it’s the feminist romantic comedy you’ve been waiting for' – ELLE MAGAZINE

'This fictional diary of the dating travails of one righteous romantic is snort-diet-Coke-out-of-your-nostrils funny and will resonate with any woman who’s looking for love' – RED MAGAZINE

'...an entertaining debut with laugh-out-loud moments – a contemporary love story you won't want to miss' – CANDIS MAGAZINE

'Refreshing and funny' – SUNDAY MIRROR

'Fun, feisty and addictive. It deserves to be read' – IRISH EXAMINER

'A courageous, revealing, fiendishly funny and important book. Genuinely ground-breaking” – VASEEM KHAN, bestselling author of 'The Unexpected Inheritance of Mr Chopra'

'...everything about this novel challenges expectations...a sharp, funny but ultimately very normal portrait of life as a British Muslim' THE NATIONAL

'Must-read... Liven up your daily commute or boost your bedtime routine with [this] page-turner' – MARIE CLAIRE

'Best of the New Books Hot List... For fans of Bridget Jones’s Diary' – GRAZIA

Part of 'a new wave of female-focussed fiction... Bridget Jones-esque' – STYLIST

Reviews

[Warda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reread!! Brilliant. Loved it! As hilarious and as heartfelt as the first time.


Initial review
[4.5] LOVED THIS!

It's about time more books came out that feature Muslim protagonists and showcase diversity and representation in all kinds of forms.

This book was just an overall fun read. I had the best time with it and I couldn't put it down!

It follows a Muslim woman who's been asked to write a book about 'Muslim dating' by the publishing company she works for. It tackles many of the stereotypical and preconceived notions others may have about Muslims and our cultures and is presented in such a funny way. I loved the constant sarcastic dialogue, how the cultural aspects were infused and how Ayisha Malik gave insight into a genuine Muslim family.

Even though it follows a Pakistani household, I still found this extremely relatable and I love how familiar everything felt. Let's be real, our cultures aren't that different.

It was easy to read, the characters were well fleshed out and there were so many laugh-out-loud moments! Plus, it made me think!! About life, love, the cultural aspects our parents and elders cling to, because it is their only form of familiarity, but also showing that it is possible for a family to move past that and becoming more open-minded, loving and accepting.

I did have a minor gripe towards the end with how well everything worked out. But looking back on it, I'm thinking, why should that even be an issue?

The tone of the book, whilst it was a lighthearted read, was serious as well, touching upon issues such a racism, immigration and the dangers of stereotyping.

I cannot wait for the sequel!

[Nuzaifa · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I were to count the number of times I've seen myself represented in fiction, it would take no more than 60 seconds. You'd say I'm lying considering the fact that Muslims are mentioned so often in media. However, literature that is truly representative of Muslims, are few and far between.

Ayisha Malik's debut follows Sofia Khan, a Hijabi Muslim and a first generation immigrant from Pakistan living in London and working in the book publishing industry. Just bouncing back from a broken engagement with a man, Sofia is ready to swear off men. Except, she accidentally pitches a book about Muslims dating to her publicity director!

Armed with nothing but a spankin' new shaadi.com profile (for research, of course), Sofia throws herself hijab first into the Muslim blind dating scene.What follows is a heartwarming, authentic tale of a young Muslim woman in a race against time as she attempts to finish her book and maybe, just maybe find love.

One of my favorite things about the novel is Sofia Khan - Malik's portrayal of a hijabi was so refreshing and accurate. When most people view a hijabi they see two things, a possible terrorist or a victim of oppression. Sofia Khan is neither. She prays five times a day, seeks solace in God, abstains from alcohol/pre-marital sex and fasts in Ramadan. She chooses to wear the hijab. But she's no angel.

I was talking to fellow blogger and hijabi, Sabeena (who coined #HijabNotAHalo, an apt hashtag really) some time back about how most people including Muslims hold us hijabis to impossible standards of behavior. From sneaking the occasional fag to swearing, I loved Sofia's little 'flaws'. She's strong-willed, stubborn and often makes poor decisions with good intentions. She's independent, witty and an incredible friend. Most importantly, she's human. And as a reader, you can't help but love Sofia Khan.

Muslim women are constantly underestimated but I can attest to the fact that they are some of craziest and funniest people. I thought that Malik does a brilliant job in capturing just how incredible we are. ;)

Sofia Khan is Not Obliged aces the Bechdel test. I'm a feminist through and through and believe in supporting and uplifting women. My friendships in real life and online are all founded on mutual, unfailing support systems and because of this I love seeing female relationships portrayed positively in fiction. Most female friendships in fiction are either token friendships or are negatively portrayed but Sofia's friends are all shown as incredibly supportive women. I loved the fact that Sofia's BFFs Hannah, Suj and Fozia were well fleshed out characters with their own independent story arcs. They all had distinctly different personalities reflecting the fact that Muslim women are not a monolith. The book also highlights the strong familial relationships that are common in Desi families - Very, very heartwarming.

There's a lot of issues within our own communities like colorism, racism especially towards Black people. It takes a lot of courage to confront and address these prejudice issues and I think Malik does this brilliantly through her spunky heroine. She even points out that publishing is 'the most white-centric, middle-class industry!' The West has a LOT of misconceptions about Muslims. Misconceptions that often cost us our lives. One day while commuting, a bigot calls Sofia a terrorist during her commute. It takes a minute for her realise that she was just racially abused. First comes the disbelief and then she tells herself that it shouldn't affect her so much because it's just a few 'flimsy words'. But then comes (almost comical) rage.

I stared at the ground and looked at my shoes: my lovely, teal, snakeskin, peep-toes (which, by the way, are offset perfectly by my coral scarf). I was like, hang on - I don't look like a terrorist...

...“Oi,” I shouted. “Terrorists don't wear vintage shoes, you ignorant wanker!”

The magic is in the details.

Whenever Sofia finds herself lost and second guessing her decisions, she performs the Istikhara prayer (Muslims when faced with difficult decisions often seek guidance from Allah by performing this prayer). During her sister's wedding, the entire house is decked in fairy lights and Sofia quips about how the only place free of fairy lights is the washroom! We, Desis do love our fairy lights. From ranting about the hopelessness of brown men and worrying about the length of our tops to bemoaning her disastrous culinary skills and dodging nosy Rishta aunties, Sofia kept me giggling page after page. It's these seemingly small details that made this whole book a special experience for me - It was like reading my entire life!

As a 20-something Desi Muslim woman, I hear the 'M' word no less than 5 times a day. Seriously, every day. Everyone from your interfering relatives/neighbors to well-meaning friends tend to ask you when you are getting married. You dodge one bullet and turn around the corner only to fall into the clutches of another Rishta aunt!

Sofia also talks about how most workplaces can be a bit uncomfortable for Muslims especially, when trying to find a place to pray. Muslims pray five times a day and since there are designated times for each prayer, we often face the challenge of finding a place to pray. There's a particular incident in the book where Sofia's makeshift prayer room has been turned into a medical room. What follows is an awkward conversation where she has to explain to the (white) administrative guy that she needs a place to pray and would it be okay if she could get the entry code to the room? After explaining that yes, we do pray all year round and yes, we do pray five times a day, she gets the access code. Except now the door to the prayer room has been changed to glass so everyone who walks past is treated to a view of her arse in the air. This is literally, what I've had to go through at every workplace. It's 2016 and workplaces fail hard at inclusivity. As Sofia says “Bad praying space, good canapés.”

At first glance(read) this book seems like a light hearted rom com. It is. But it is also so much more.

Sofia Khan's first person, diary entry narration made it easy to connect with the protagonist. As much I love a solid plot, there's something about a really good character driven book that always hooks me in. Sofia's distinct voice drives the narrative in this fun yet thought provoking read and I couldn't help but devour this book chapter after chapter. At a time when Islamaphobia is rampant, books like Sofia Khan is Not Obliged are so so relevant because they offer a way to bridge this sense of Otherness created by ignorance.

A book about Muslims that is neither a tragedy or an “issues” book - Hurrah.

THE RATING

5 Stars

QUOTE-WORTHY

“I tried! I did! But what normal human being would ask another human being to live with a cohort of mother, father, brother and sister-in-law with two children, complete with a sister and brother-in-law and three children next door, and a hole-in-the-wall joining the two houses? (Just writing that sentence about so many people confused me; imagine living with them.)”

FINAL VERDICT:

Ayisha Malik's Sofia Khan is Not Obliged is an authentic, warm and hilarious read that will stay with you days after finishing it. Muslim or not, this book guarantees you a good time.

[Nick Imrie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The thing about romantic comedy is that it has to be funny. If the plot is mostly everyday events - drinks with mates, squabbles with parents, deadlines at work, dates with boys - then it really needs to be packed full of sparkling wit and astute observations. Otherwise, it's just banal.

In 'Sofia Khan' the comedy is strongest during moments of culture-clash: when the well-meaning but clueless colleagues in 'the most white-centric, middle-class industry there is' are fascinated by Sofia's scarf (imagine everyone at work being amazed that you keep your trousers up by doing up the buttons!), or when her squabbling parents are baffled by the behaviour of their 2nd generation children: 'What is this click?' her mother asks when Sofia turns down yet another perfectly eligible young man. But the laughs were few and far between, and the story rambled on and on, in desperate need of an editor.

Part of the reason that it fails as a comedy is that Sofia is hardly ever the butt of the joke; in fact, the book was firmly on her side. It could have worked as a comedy if she had been ridiculous, or it could have worked as chick-lit if she'd had a moral journey and learnt from her failures. Instead, there are no consequences for her mistakes, or worse: she's presented as having been in the right all along. The more Sofia was self-righteously justified, the more frustrating I found her.

Early in the book Sofia bumps into a man on the underground and he mutters 'terrorist' at her. She is upset by this and the story of her encounter with The Racist is repeated to friends, family and co-workers who are all suitably aghast. Later in the book she spots him again, chases him into the tube and then steals the last seat 'that was rightfully his'. He calls her 'paki bitch' and the crowd comes together in anti-racist solidarity as he is shamed by an old white lady and forced to apologise by a young black man. But this public humiliation is not enough for Sofia, who wants him to have 'an epiphany about [his] narrow-minded, prejudiced views'. So she marches up to him, calls him a cunt and then punches him in the face. He calls her a crazy bitch; she calls him a racist wanker.
It makes me so uncomfortable, because punching people is wrong. Racist insults are also obviously wrong, but it's not ok to escalate insults into violence. But more than that, Sofia has been against violence through-out the book, and this moment of hypocrisy is neither comedic nor regrettable. It's a moment of gratifying victory. It seems that violence is only wrong unless it happens to be emotionally satisfying for Sofia Khan.

Sofia wears the hijab, despite the hassle this brings her from racists, colleagues and even her mother (who desperately wants her to take it off to catch a husband). She calls herself 'a walking, talking sign for religion'. It's clearly very important to her. Yet, her attitude towards it (or more precisely: her attitude towards other people's attitudes towards it) is confusingly variable. Different positions that Sofia holds on the hijab include:
Men should make assumptions about her based on the hijab. Sofia is frustrated when non-Muslim men on dating sites don't realise that they have no chance: 'I wondered whether they could actually see I wear a hijab? […] Marrying a non-Muslim would be the most nonsensical thing for a hijabi to do'.
Men shouldn't make assumptions about her based on the hijab. Sofia resents men assuming that her conservative clothing choices imply conservative morals: 'Thanks, strange person, for your opinion, but who said I'm conservative. Talk about judging a person by their scarf.'
Men should adjust their clothing choices based on hers. Sofia is mortified when a man (who is very kindly allowing her to use his home as an office) doesn't dress according to her morals: 'as if it was perfectly natural to be shirtless, tattoo-armed in your boxers in front of, hello, a hijabi.'
But there are some assumptions that she lets pass. Like when a man says: 'I meant you're a hijabi and, so you know, you're a certain way. There's depth and whatever to you'.
So overall, Sofia just ends up looking a little narcissistic: everyone is expected to be able to read her mind, know what the hijab means to her, and adjust their behaviour accordingly. Only one person criticises Sofia for wearing the hijab, a man on a dating site who says: 'A hijab???? Seriously?!! You're living in the West!!!!'
Sofia's reaction: 'Who is this prejudiced person who suffers from punctuation hysteria, one might ask? A BBC correspondent. Had to double-check he was actually brown. In true Zen manner I wished him luck with his identity crisis.'
This dismissal is so frustrating, because she's hypocritically practising exactly the kind of prejudice she criticises in everyone who disagrees with her. First she's conflating 'brown' and 'Muslim', assuming that because he's in one group he must be in the other. And secondly for assuming he's having an identity crisis – as if there couldn't be any other reason for a man to be against the hijab! The opportunity for comedy is lost, because Sofia has to be in the right.

Sofia's friend Hannah becomes a second wife to Zulfi, a man who is already married. Everybody seems to think this is a bad idea; nobody says so: 'Everyone tucked away their opinions as Hannah and Zulfi came and sat at the table'. His wife and children do not attend the wedding and when Sofia's mum (god bless her) points out their absence Zulfi is embarrassed while Hannah is 'steadfast and defiant'. I really felt like I was expected to admire Hannah's grace, but there really isn't anything to admire in someone being 'defiant' while they poach someone else's man! Home-wrecking is wrong.
It pretty soon becomes apparent that Hannah is living like a Victorian kept women: Zulfi buys her a house and he visits her when he's not spending time with his real family. She becomes consumed with jealousy.
Sofia is always humblebragging about her big mouth and opinionated ways, and how much they get her into trouble. Except in this case, when she and all her friends are absolutely derelict in their duty to tell Hannah:
1) It's obviously a terrible mistake that will make her unhappy.
2) It's actually wrong to get together with a man when his already existing family don't want you too! Where's the solidarity with other women?
But Sofia says nothing because: 'it's not PC to judge – we are all autonomous beings, blah blah blah'. Her friends at work are horrified:

'But that's not even legal!' Fleur exclaimed, going red in the face.
Err, hello. Neither is murder, but that doesn't stop people.'

There you have it: the Sofia Khan justifications for bigamy:
1)It's not PC to judge.
2)Murder still happens!

So, it was difficult to like Sofia because she's really morally inconsistent and yet she's presented as morally superior. Perhaps I could've liked her if she had any other redeeming qualities but she doesn't have any other qualities at all. Her only activities are meeting men, and talking about meeting men. There is a sort of high-school feel to the story: she hides men from her parents; she talks constantly about boys with her friends; she is bitchy and judgemental whenever the boy she likes notices another woman or adds one on facebook.
In the final section of the book, she quits her underwhelming job and gets the guy of her dreams! Of course she does, it's a romance after all. But she only gives up the job because the guy arranges for her to do something much more fulfilling. She only gets the guy because he converts to Islam for her (despite her loving him deeply, and him being clearly better than all the Muslim men she dates, she could still never date a non-Muslim). While it's nice for Sofia to get her wish-fulfilment happy ending – it's frustrating as a reader because everything is handed to her on a plate and she doesn't have to take a risk or make a change to achieve her dreams. Once again, Sofia Khan is just in the right.

[♛ may · Rating 1 out of 5]

wow this was bad

not to like be rude or anything but i was trying to finish this book as fast as possible so i could go back to living a happy life

let's just run through my complaints real quick
- the tone is supposed to be lighthearted, fun, chick-lit but i found it extremely JUVENILE (to the point that it was painful)
- the main character is immature, judgemental, and i found her really tiring to put up with
- there's lots of "jokes" that i found distasteful and kinda offensive (concerning black people, fatshaming, and religion)
- i'm not even going to get into the muslim rep bc it's been a long day and i dont have the Energy
- the book is like 90% dialogue and dude, if that's your thing then cool, but im not a fan

1 star

[Nassy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full Review

This is a book I don’t think I would have come across or been interested in but my friend who was reading it suggested I do too because of how funny it is and she was kind enough to borrow me her copy. She did not lie!! I laughed so hard while reading this and sometimes too much that it led to crying.

This book is about Sofia, a 30-year old Pakistani Muslim who is writing a book about Muslim dating. She uses herself, her family members and friends’ lives as inspiration for the book. From her POV, we get a glimpse into her world as a hijabi.

I love how light/funny the book is especially coming from a hijabi. It shows people that they are more than their religion and they have similar problems as others who might not be Muslims. I honestly could relate to her on some things: For instance, a culture obsessed with women getting married as soon as possible (that’s my culture alright). She also talks about things such as not drinking, abstinence from premarital sex and all around being modest (again, my culture/religion) but not in a judgemental way, more as a way of life.

She also talks about things that I could not relate to but were concepts I have heard of before so it was nice reading a detailed perspective on those, such as a married woman living with her in-laws. This book starts with Sofia breaking up with her boyfriend because he wanted to have a hole in the wall between two houses after they get married, theirs and his parents, which was a no-go for Sofia because she does not want to live with her in-laws. The book also discusses polygamous marriage and negative viewed things such as a divorced woman and marrying/dating someone from another race. What I liked about the book is that it discusses the issues in a funny/unserious way which made it interesting to read.

The book also discusses the notion of dating as a hijabi and it was nice seeing a halal (acceptable) Muslim relationship that was portrayed in a cute, funny way. Just because there are restrictions does not make it any less interesting. I found the main love story to be so cute and I shipped them together!

I think the only negative thing was that I felt that on some pages, nothing was really happening and the book could have been a little bit shorter, but I enjoyed it overall. You do not have to be Muslim to enjoy this (obviously because I am not) and Its an easy cute read.

I recommend this if you’re interested in a non-mainstream love story/culture ❤️

[Please Pass the Books · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sorry, but this book reads like a first draft—and not a very good one. There are many, many typos, misspellings, and grammatical issues, and the acerbic tone, which is cute and funny for about two pages, becomes tiresome far too quickly.

I adore books about South Asian culture, especially when they pit the volatile mismatch of tradition against the plight of progressive women. The blurb promised an intriguing tale from a perspective that we don't get nearly enough of: A thirty-something modern hijabi publicist in designer shoes, looking for love in all the wrong places. Unfortunately, it did not deliver. What could have been a fun story was let down by unpolished prose and a protagonist that is difficult to find at all endearing. I really wanted to love this book and was excited to pick it up...but, alas...I'm not obliged.

I'd like to thank Net Galley and the publisher Twenty7 Books for providing a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which this is

[Shaikha · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

Different. Brilliant. One of a kind. 👏🏼

I was going to give this book 4 stars only BUT THAT ENDING DAMMIT, exactly how I wanted it to be! 😩❤

"I don't care about I love yous - they're for people who don't know any better. You should never change is the culmination of all your flaws made necessary: the imperfect sum of an imperfect past, which turned to be a good thing for someone."



Sofia is thirty years old when she breaks up with her potential husband, Imran, after he asks her to live with his parents and a hole-in-the-wall. Sofia works in publishing, and when she relates this story to her co-workers, her boss becomes very interested in the different aspects of Muslim dating, and proceeds to ask Sofia to write a book about it. What follows is mostly insights into Sofia’s life as she writes the book, though the book itself doesn’t particularly have priority, it is the starting point for a lot of the situations Sofia gets into.

"Perhaps this is God's way of saying, here, you might not have a man, but have a book instead."



The book is told from Sofia’s perspective in a diary-style format, so naturally much of the book’s success depends upon how much you like Sofia as a character. Personally, I loved her. I thought she was a very real, very relatable character. She’s by no means perfect, which for my part only made her more likable. She’s stubborn, hardly ever giving in to anyone, and she’s very funny, her humour is often very dry and sarcastic, so I really appreciated it. I really liked that Sofia was quick to defend her beliefs in every aspect of her life. If someone said something she disagreed with, or took issue to, she almost always let them know. Even if that someone was a member of her own family. She has a close relationship with her dad, which I loved reading about, and I feel like I don’t see this anywhere near often enough. Her dad was very funny, and it was very easy to warm to him. Sofia comes under a lot of criticism from members of their extended family and, at some point, the families of people that she’s considering dating.
As this book is a romantic comedy, obviously I need to mention the romance. Sofia had several potential partners over the course of the book—which you’d expect, given that she’s writing a book on Muslim dating—and I really liked seeing the various successes and failures of these dates that she goes on. It offered some very funny insights into the world of online dating, as Sofia meets more than her fair share of odd ones when she signs up to Shaadi.com (later referred to only as “Shady”). I’m not going to spoil who she ends up with, but I will say that I loved how the relationship developed. It felt very easy and natural – and though I did have an inkling as to who it might be very early on, that didn’t make it any less satisfying.
Female friendship also has an important role in this book. While I’m no expert on romance novels or films, it often feels like the protagonist’s friendships can get brushed aside in favour of the love interest, or they’ll just have one particularly close friend, but that wasn’t the case here. Sofia’s friends are all well-developed, brilliant women, and though the focus is obviously on Sofia’s life, we get to see a fair share of her friends’ lives too.

"Must be grateful for friends who forgive and forget. They are the best kind." ❤



Sofia Khan is Not Obliged has often been described as a Muslim Bridget Jones, and I can definitely see the comparison. However, there are several points of differences that do get touched on throughout. There are some things that Sofia experiences that a non-Muslim protagonist would not experience. The reaction to her situation with her almost-husband, for one, and the assumption that she’d somehow get into trouble for writing the book. Very early on, a man calls Sofia a terrorist after she accidentally bumps into him while trying to get on the tube, and there’s a very uncomfortable moment wherein Sofia’s editor asks Sofia if she’ll take off her hijab so she can see her hair, and then proceeds to touch her hair without her permission. I really liked that these moments were in the book. Like I said, they were important points of difference. They were all dealt with very lightly, and the book never gets too dark.

"One of the issues about the whole 'being alone' stance is not having anyone to share the world's problems with. A person's been scoped out of your life and so you speak into a pit of nothingness."



I highly recommend this book. I guarantee you’re going to take something away from it. I really look forward to reading anything else Ayisha Malik writes.

[K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trigger warnings: Islamophobia, death of a parent.

This book is essentially Bridget Jones' Diary, if Bridget Jones were a Pakistani hijabi who still lived with her parents in 2011. Seriously.

I was a little hesitant going into this, because it uses the same short-chapters-with-time-and-date-stamps format as Bridget Jones, and the story seemed to be going in a fairly similar way. So I was scared that it was going to be TOO similar, particularly as the author acknowledges the fact that she has written a Muslim version of Bridget Jones.

HOWEVER.

The characters are so much fun and they wormed their way into my heart. The story is often funny. It was compelling. It came with a side of Feelings, and it had a happy ending. What more could you want?

[Sumaiyya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! It's definitely a favourite of mine. I can't imagine someone not loving this book unless they're racist or can't stand reading stories of diverse characters or just don't want to participate in at least trying to understand the humour or the sentiments presented in the book (basically lazy people). Seriously, I can't imagine a better book than this one when it comes to honest and hilarious Muslim fiction. I've been waiting for the kind of book that would actually be something I relate to, especially after reading The Girl in the Tangerine Scarf by Mohja Kahf (which was a genius book that I loved and super related to). This is that book. I absolutely LOVED how funny it was. I loved that it made me think about my own choices in life. In many ways it prepared me too, for the craziness that goes into getting married and it also allowed me to understand my own position, through the experiences of Sofia. I'm not going to claim you'll have the same enlightening experience with the book because you're a different person with your own set of plans and worries in life. But I can assure you this book will make you laugh, it'll make you sad and it'll make you really bloody happy. It'll also really make you appreciate your own family and friends. Finishing this book made me realise how much I'd love to have friends like Sofia does. It's just something so pure.

I also loved the writing, it was easy to connect to. I loved Sofia's fearless yet flawed character. I also loved that the story got better the more you read and finally finished with an ending that stuns and makes you really think. Don't wanna say too much because spoilers. Malik flawlessly tackles issues in the Muslim community that most people, even the young, are too afraid to boldly address.

I really recommend the book to everyone. Especially those who complain about lack of diversity and those who feel too comfortable in its lacking.

[Joanne Harris]

It's been a while since I read a love story as satisfying as this. Repeatedly and unfairly touted as "the Muslim Bridget Jones", this is a delightful book; light-hearted but thought-provoking. Sofia is a marvellous heroine with a marvellously raucous and opinionated voice, and her story, though peppered with ostensibly Bridget-like comments on marriage, clothes and biscuits, is about as far from Bridget Jones as it is possible to be. Sofia is an unapologetic hijabi, secure in her Islamic faith, but she nevertheless manages to defy virtually every stereotype. She smokes, she swears, she lives life on her own terms, and that includes her relationships with men. She loves Sex and the City, and yet modestly keeps to shaking hands with boyfriends: she prays five times a day, doesn't drink, and yet still manages to negotiate the tricky field of working and socializing in the notoriously white (and boozy) world of publishing. The author handles the love story with remarkable deftness, and even the happy ending is far from being a happy-ever-after, concentrating far less on the idea of a wedding and more on that of a marriage - a grown-up distinction that many romantic novelists fail to make. The style is idiosyncratic: I liked it, though others may find it a little choppy, relying on texts, e-mails, book entries and short chapters that sometimes feel in the need of expansion, but Sofia's voice carries it all, and the depictions of her family, colleagues and friends (in my mind, the backbone of the story) are lively, well-drawn and satisfying. Read it with the blinkers off: you may find it surprising.

[April (Aprilius Maximus)]

DNF at 25%. The representation is A+, but I just really wasn't enjoying the story. It's soooo similar to Bridget Jones' Diary which I absolutely hate, and I'm just really not in the mood for a chick lit tbh.

[K.J. Charles]

Delightful romcom starring a second-generation Brit of Pakistani origin. It's been called a Muslim Bridget Jones' Diary and that's fair in some respects (first person present, woman working in publishing looking for love) but I found BJD unbearably whiny, trivial, and solipsistic, whereas this book has a lot more depth and heart, and the heroine and her friends have far more gnarly and serious love dilemmas. It's very funny, and immensely engaging in its portrait of Sofia's friend group, also the idiocy of publishing, also men. Hugely likeable and readable, managing to give some proper heft to light comedy. A pleasure.

[Abbie | ab_reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're looking for either of the following things:
1. A fun, light read between heavy books,
2. A fun, light read that is still poignant and moving in parts,
3. To diversify your reading lists with more Muslim women authors with books that feature women as the main characters,
Then I highly recommend you pick up Sofia Khan Is Not Obliged by Ayisha Malik!
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It's a funny (hilarious actually) but important contemporary about a young Muslim in Britain and her everyday experiences and issues as a hijab-wearing woman, who is asked to write an exposé about the Muslim dating scene by her boss!
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I'm really glad I picked this one up! I never read contemporary, and this was a refreshing break from all the heavy books I've been reading recently. But that is not to say that there isn't depth to it. This book explores family relationships, female friendships, racism, religion, and love. It also raises important questions, such as could you be in a relationship with someone who didn't share your religious beliefs?
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It was maybe a bit predictable at times, but also moving, relatable, and did I mention hilarious?? It's also eye-opening, as it delves right into the family dynamics of an immigrant family, and some of the customs and traditions of Islam while keeping things fairly light! Give it a go!

[Robin Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, lovely and romantic, this is an absolutely brilliant book. It's basically Bridget Jones with Muslim dating, with added loving jabs at the bonkers world of publishing. It's weird that it is so weird to see a protagonist who's a practising Muslim, and I'm so glad that this book is beginning to redress that balance.

[Puck · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Oi,” I shouted. “Terrorists don’t wear vintage shoes, you ignorant wanker!”

Imagine “The Diary of Bridget Jones” but with an sarcastic, independent moslima as the main character. Doesn’t that sound awesome? And it is, because in this #OwnVoices novel Sofia Khan tackles muslim dating life with reluctant enthusiasm, cheeky questions, but also with the silent wish of finding true love. And what a fun story that is to read about.

Sofia Khan is a book publicist in her thirties, single, a Hijabi Muslim, living in London and the daughter of Pakistani immigrants. When her boss asks her to write a book about Muslim dating, it pushes her to (uneagerly) starting looking for a husband for, especially since that’s all her family asks her about these days.
During her investigations into (online) dating, I as a white woman* learned a lot about the various traditions and aspects of Muslim culture. So many things - living with the in-laws, the discussions on religions, being a second wife, the double standard of sex - were completely new to me, and so a real eye-opener.

Sofia Khan is a great main character as well. She’s witty, intelligent and headstrong: she knows what she wants and likes and she isn’t going to compromise. Her faith for example is very important to her: she’s proud to wear a hijab and has no problems with praying 5 times a day, even if her workplace - with its glass doors - isn’t the most ideal spot to do so.
She doesn’t have the sharpest people-reading skills, but I loved how supportive she was to her friends and her family, no matter how how annoying their constant questions about marriage were.

But despite this being a great romantic comedy, there were also moments in which this books gets more heavy: Sofia being called a terrorist on the tube, Sofia’s editor asking her to take her hijabi off so that she can touch her hair, and uncomfortable conservations when Sofia is looking for a place to pray.
These, and the tense talks between Sofia and her parents whenever her possible-marriage comes up, give this book its depth that “Bridget Jones” lacked.

So if you’re looking for a fun, heartfelt story about a woman finding love in unexpected places - because the ending came as a big surprise to me! - you should definitely read this. For Valentine’s Day maybe? :)



*= sadly I didn't get all the remarks or comments since I'm neither a moslim or a Pakistani girl myself. However, reviews from those women - like Warda's (here) and Nuzaifa's (here) - informed me that this book is doing a great job at representation.

[Inge · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I've been kind of falling out of love with chicklit lately, but I really wanted to give Sofia Khan a try. Alas, no pancakes. I do think Muslim readers would love this a lot more, as they can really relate to & laugh along with Sofia.

[aforestofbooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Changed rating (20/12/2017)...Thought about it and the ending still bugs me so it’s now 3 stars

***

Wow...I'm going to have to organize my thoughts before I attempt a review

***

Finally managed to find time to write this...

I absolutely loved this book! I can honestly say that I've never related so much with a character like Sofia (though I think I've said that before). Being Pakistani, it was no wonder I would feel such a deep connection with this, but also since I've gone through a few things that Sofia has gone through, it just made reading this book a whole different experience! I will say that because some of the things I related to hit me on a personal level, it was a bit depressing to read at times, or reminded me of things that I've been trying to forget, so that was a bit not-so-fun, but besides that, I overall really enjoyed everything.

While Sofia's character goes through a few things I've gone through, her personality is so different from mine. I did really enjoy reading from her perspective and seeing how she dealt with different situations (usually loudly, and occasionally punching someone) and struggled with her problems. She was fun to read about and made me wish I had more guts to say what I want to say.

Let's talk about the guys, since I know that's why everyone is reading this...

Beginning with Imran. I wasn't sure how much we were going to see of him at first, but when he showed up a little over half way through the book, I immediately didn't like his "I sacrificed living with my parents, so please do what I want" attitude. The whole situation just felt wrong, but I honestly felt for Sofia so much because she did exactly something I would have done. I know many people can relate to this – being told by your parents that they're getting old and they want to see you "settled" and that they want grandkids. It makes you feel guilty for waiting or saying "no". It makes you feel like a disappointment. I know for a fact that if I were in Sofia's position, I would have done the same thing and agreed to marry Imran, even though I didn't really love him. But unlike Sofia, who ended things off eventually, it scares me to think that I probably wouldn't, just to please my family. This sounds really dark ahah...but things like this made the book somewhat depressing for me to read, but I also think it was super important to read about. Hopefully it gives me the courage to do what Sofia did if that time ever comes.

Another thing I found difficult to read about was Maria's relationship with her in-laws. Stuff like that terrifies the crap out of me, and makes me more adamant to never want to live with my own in-laws. While I know that not all in-laws are like this, the fact that that is a possibility terrifies me. When Maria says that Tariq supports his parents with everything and never takes her side, it made my heart ache cause it's just awful. Though they did reconcile and things seemed to be going better for them, I have no doubt that it is something that will be brought up over and over again and will probably create problems for a while.

Now onto Naim. I really liked him in the beginning. He was funny and charming and interesting, but he started to really annoy me, until it got to the point where I hated him. I could totally tell that Sofia had feelings for him and I started to imagine if marriage was even possible and I realized right away that it wouldn't work. This was before he started doing horrible, annoying stuff...I totally got what Sofia saw in him, but I was glad she noticed that they weren't compatible. But seeing Naim just playing her along like she isn't a person who has feelings was so frustrating and made me so angry! I'm glad she just yelled at him and broke things off. I have a feeling he's going to make an appearance in the second book, but I honestly hate his guts.

Before I talk about Conall, I wanted to talk about Sofia's book. I loved the idea for it because it's something so applicable to my own life. I will admit that some of Sofia's experiences (and her friends) were things I'd never faced and probably never will. I don't think I'd ever go and meet up for coffee with someone I matched with on Shaadi.com. And going to matchmaking events??? HELL NO. Though my mom is trying to make me to go to a "picnic" in a couple days. But it was interesting to read about. I really didn't like Brammers though – "it doesn't have enough sex" like WHAT NO NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS SEX. I'm glad Sofia put her foot down and decided to write what she wanted.

Now...let's talk about Conall. I wasn't expecting anything to happen between him and Sofia at first. He just seemed like a random stranger from next-door, but when they started talking more and he offered her the use of his house to write her book, I was a little intrigued. Though I'll admit, the first thing I thought was how were Sofia's parents okay with her working at a random guy's house??? Personally, I wouldn't feel very comfortable doing that, but I keep thinking about the t-shirt-hijab scene and laughing, so it was totally worth it! Since so much was going on with Naim and Imran and Sofia's book, I didn't think too much of Conall at first. But he's honestly amazing! I loved how quiet and observing he was, and how he actually listens to Sofia. And he was always there for her, whereas Naim was busy clubbing and hooking up with his ex (I really do hate him). I fell more and more in love with Conall and I could totally tell Sofia was too! When Conall went to the Palestinian protest, and then announced he was going to Afghanistan for a project, I pretty much guessed he was going to convert and come back, and he and Sofia would get married and ride off into the sunset :)

The thing was, when it happened, I was kind of disappointed and sad. It was a great ending, and I really shipped Sofia and Conall together, but it was also a bit depressing. The entire book made it seem like all the other brown guys are just terrible and that a white guy converting to Islam was the better option. Now before people get upset at me...there's obviously a huge cultural difference between the upbringing of a brown guy and white guy, so obviously some white guys may have beliefs and ideologies that are different and maybe more modern and feminist than brown guys. Obviously I'm not generalizing, but this book made it seem like brown guys are the "not-so-great" option cause they have family issues (HITW, in-laws), or they're thoughtless and not understanding. I almost wish the book had ended with Sofia finding a nice brown guy, who had all the good qualities a person should have. I think it would have left the book on a more hopeful note for the rest of us who plan to get married one day. Despite that, like I said, I ship Sofia and Conall together. And people do convert all the time, so it isn't something totally unlikely. I'm excited to see what happens next in their relationship though, cause I'm sure it's not going to be easy.

[Christine Spoors · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. It follows Sofia Khan, a Muslim woman who has been asked to write a book about Muslim dating. Sofia is probably one of my favourite characters I've read about all year. She was so sarcastic and hilarious, as well as being compassionate and loving towards her friends and family. Sofia is a hijabi, and I've seen other reviewers say they enjoyed Malik's portrayal of a Western Muslim woman living in London (Warda & Nazima).

I really enjoyed the format of this book. The chapters were split into months, and throughout each month we would get snippets from certain days as well as emails and texts. We also saw chunks of Sofia's book as she wrote it, including what she decided to edit out. The format made it such an easy read, but also got me completely hooked. Once I started reading I couldn't put it down.

Reading about Sofia's large Pakistani family was wonderful and I loved her group of friends. They gave the author a chance to highlight many issues that family's and Muslim's face, such as death, racism, infertility, divorce and alcoholism. This book made me cry on a very busy train, and I loved the mix of hilarity and tacking serious issues.

As she is writing a book about Muslim dating, and she's 30 and unmarried, Sofia goes on dates. We see a few potential love interests throughout the book - including her ex-fiance. I really liked this as it gave the author a chance to explore topics such as homosexuality, differing levels of faith and Islam from different backgrounds. I did not expect where the romance went at all. It took me up until the book was almost over before I realised what was happening.

I enjoyed the romance, but I know some people had an issue with where it ended up (which is understandable). I am curious to see how the second book deals with what happened. Sofia has a very sarcastic sense of humour, like much of the UK. This led to her mentioning self-harm and talking about being overweight in a sarcastic way that, to some, may seem a little insensitive or be triggering!

I need to say a huge thank you to Nazima - readinghijabsy for giving me a copy of this book for my birthday. I can't wait to read book two!

[Dane Cobain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: While I aim to be unbiased, I received a copy of this for free to review.

This book has been described as the Muslim Bridget Jones, and I guess I can see that – I’ve never read or watched Bridget Jones, but I know what it’s about, and it is true that there are some similarities. This book is laid out like a diary, for example, and it follows the trials and tribulations of Sofia Khan as she attempts to write a book about Muslim dating for her work, even though she doesn’t particularly want to.

Personally, I loved it, despite it not being the sort of genre that I’d usually be interested in. Sofia was a pretty likeable character, and she was certainly three-dimensional – her extended friends and family all had convincing lives of their own as well, and despite the fact that there were loads of them, it wasn’t confusing. By the end of it, you feel like you’re a part of the family.

And one of the good things about it is that, while there is a Muslim flavour to it and whilst religion and racism are portrayed unflinchingly, it’s also a great piece of entertainment. As a reader, you don’t feel like the author is preaching to you, and you also don’t need to be a Muslim (or, indeed, religious at all) for it to be a pleasure to read. It also helps that the book’s laid out in such a way that you speed through it, and feel like you’re always making progress.

Books like this are important, because there’s a lot of shit going down in the world today, and Muslims take more than their fair share of the blame – that’s why racism is a problem in the first place. If more people read books like this, I think the world would be a better place… although there may also be a sudden spike in the number of people getting punched in the face by Muslim women in hijabs. But if they deserve it, maybe we can all just turn a blind eye to it.

Overall, then, this book comes highly recommended from me, even if this is a little different to the sort of stuff that you normally read. There’s something here for everyone really, because even if you can’t relate personally to Sofia, you can relate to the problems that she has in her day-to-day life. Because we’re not so different from each other, and this book highlights that fact perfectly.

[A. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. Muslim representation is important and I was excited to learn more, understand more, open up my horizon.
This book made none of that possible. It needed a good editor so, so much. It's way longer than it should be and I skipped so much uninteresting, pointless dialogue.
I also couldn't connect with the comedy style or the characters and...
well, it just fell really short of my expectations.

[Fatima · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved to finish a book. This is by far the worst book I’ve read this year and frankly, I’m surprised at the amount of people who have read this and completely ignored the fact that the book is chock full of ableism, fatshaming and antiblackness. Not forgetting the bulimia and suicidal “jokes”. Just one big utter disappointment.

[Suraya (thesuraya) · Rating 4 out of 5]

reread @ 24th July 2018: oh i still love this just as much

4.5 Stars

ok so i have final exam in 6 hours but this book is so unputdownable that i have trouble sorting out my priorities. Review to come later but oh my god I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH

[Brittany (whatbritreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I started this book just as I was getting in to bed, expecting to read one or two chapters before I got sleepy. Little did I know that I would be awake for the next 5 hours (and 5 minutes) reading, laughing and crying along. Wow.

It was brilliantly written, the characters were phenomenal and actually had depth, the relationships in this book were lovely (family and friends included). This book just made me feel so many things in such a small space of time I literally could not stop reading. I know it was going to be good when I laughed out loud on the third page but I was not expecting it so have such a massive impact on me. Definitely going straight on my favourites shelf.

I loved having a Muslim protagonist, you rarely get that in romance and it was so refreshing. It was a discussion of culture, religion, gender roles, sacrifice. Honestly for a book that looks outwardly like a standard chick-lit it was very dense in content, presented so poetically.

It’s been compared to Bridget Jones but honestly I’d say that was insulting to this book, which in my opinion is far superior and tells a much more memorable story. I loved every single page. I will never get over this. Ever ever.

[Nusrah Javed · Rating 5 out of 5]

My muslim girl heart loved this to infinity and beyond. Such honest portrayal of a brown family and brown people and absolutely hilarious. Its rare that I ever see myself staring back from the books of a page, and this was one of those rare times.

[Yusra ☾]

i know this is gonna be bad but i feel like complaining

[Jessica (Jess Hearts Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sofia Khan is Not Obliged is a book that I fell in love with from the first few pages. Sofia’s voice is so warm and likeable that you quickly get sucked into her crazy life and root for her like you would a friend.

The book is told in a diary format and follows Sofia’s adventures as a modern muslim woman. After breaking off her engagement with a man a little too close to his family, Sofia swears off men for good to the horror of her relatives. When her boss at the publishing house where she works offers Sofia a book deal she agrees- she might not have a husband but she will have a bloody book! The only problem is the book in question is a tell-all on muslim dating and to write it she’s going to have to throw herself back into the London dating scene for research. With marriage crazy relatives, her friends’ disastrous love lives and a writing deadline Sofia’s about to dive hijab first into the world of romance whether she likes it or not.

Sofia Khan is Not Obliged is a fresh take on Women’s Fiction, I loved getting to take a look at a different way of life that I haven’t seen represented before in this genre. The book tackles some serious themes at times. I got particularly angry at a scene where Sofia is called a terrorist on the tube! But for the most part, the book is warm and funny whilst still shedding light on Sofia’s lifestyle.

As well as the wonderful Sofia Khan, there are so many other brilliant secondary characters to get to know and love. There’s a large cast but every single character is fleshed out and vibrant. Sofia’s relationships with her family and friends were one of my favourite things about this book. I especially loved the relationship that Sofia has with her dad.

Sofia Kahn is Not Obliged is one of those rare books that made me both laugh and cry. Sofia Khan is one of my new favourite heroines - she makes every page sparkle with her funny and intelligent outlook on life. If you’re a fan of Helen Fielding or Mhairi McFarlane, Ayisha Malik may just be your new favourite author. I can’t wait for the sequel!

[Clair Atkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one grew on me - to begin with I didn't think I was going to like it at all and now I don't even know why! Told from Sofia's point of view, maybe it took me a while to get her "voice". Sofia Khan is a 30 year old Muslim woman and the book looks at dating, marriage, family and friendships in the Muslim culture. I found it interesting and funny and I look forward to see what will happen next (apparently there will be a sequel...)

[Amena · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Never marry a man that can't be bothered to spell "Night" properly. Lazy with words, lazy with life.'

Two words to review this book - Bloody Brilliant. 99p on Kindle. Go get it if it's not sitting on your shelf already. The most hilarious yet accurate account of Muslim fiction. I can't remember when I have laughed so much whilst reading a book yet at the same time nodded in agreement. Ayisha Malik gets it spot on. Worth every single 5 star on Goodreads.

[langana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chicklit, but not too bad. Maybe I just need easier books at the moment. Going to listen second book, interested how will everything work out

[ikram · Rating 2 out of 5]

“But, Sofe, without a wedding there isn’t the promises of all those future years of anniversaries—you know when the husband forgets and the wife complains, and they argue and make up. Where’s the fun without that?”

Is it possible that you annotated a lot in a book that I ended up having mixed feeling for? Sofia Khan is Not Obliged left me feeling like... I don’t know, in between angry and amused? This book did have comedy but there are a lot of things that annoyed me so much. So, this book is about Sofia whose family and relatives have been asking her when she’s getting married—you know, typical Muslim women struggle. The thing is that she isn’t sure whether or not she wants to get married.

The book is written in a diary-like format, completed with time stamp and date. Honestly, I am not sure if I wasn’t a fan of the format. Sure, it is unique and makes the book more stands out, and I genuinely felt like I was more connected with Sofia, but there’s something off about this typical format.

So let’s break down the pros and cons, shall we?

THE PROS

- It was funny and refreshing. I can’t lie when I said the book indeed has comedy in it. Some scenes made me laugh!
- This book is all about wedding and planning one, and you know, considering that I am in similar situation; there were a lot of things that I can relate to. (And maybe that’s the reason why I found them funny too?)
- The family dynamic between Sofia and her family! I love seeing them interacting.
- Many passages are quotable (if this makes sense) and I feel like Ayisha Malik can speak things I don’t know how to say.

THE CONS

- The writing is off. Partly because of the format, but it’s mostly because nothing’s really happening until page 200 or something. Too many internal turmoil than real action. Because of the diary-like format, it feels like we only get to read how Sofia feels, and I want more than that.
- There are so many annoying things about this book so let’s start with how this feels like it’s too white gaze-y. It’s a little ironic because in the story, Sofia is supposed to write a Muslim dating book and she doesn’t want to make it as if it’s adjusting to white dating book.
- Sofia repeatedly has to explain her faith and culture to someone else. It kinda... annoys me?
- The story itself does not make any sense. It feels as if there’s no plot at all, yet everything kinda happens at the same time.
- The ending is a little bit forced.
- And I’m saving this for the last; a lot of offensive jokes. Oh you know, the racist remark, fat shaming.

Overall, I really won’t recommend this book. But, if you’re okay with a really slow-paced book with diary-like format, then maybe the book is for you? I just think, it’s not for me.

Trigger Warning: death of a loved ones, racism, Islamophobia, mention of children trafficking