I'm Working On It in Therapy: How to Get the Most Out of Psychotherapy

by Gary Trosclair

Learn to get the most out of therapy to unlock your best self.Millions of Americans will go to therapy this year, but veteran psychotherapist Gary Trosclair believes the vast majority of them will start the process with little to no sense of how to best use their sessions to achieve their goals. Recent research has identified effective client participation as one of the most crucial factors in successful therapy. What can one do to get the most out of their sessions to create lasting positive changes in their lives? What does it look like to "work on it" in therapy?Trosclair covers these points and more, combining cutting-edge scientific research with years of fascinating anecdotal evidence to create a guide that is as compelling as it is indispensable. It teaches readers how to take off their masks and be real with their therapists, how to deal with emotions that arise in session, how to continue their psychological work outside of sessions, how to know when it's time to say goodbye to their therapists, and much more.Whether you're already in therapy and looking to make more out of each appointment, or you're thinking of starting the process and want to go in with a game plan, I'm Working on It in Therapy will show you how you can make every session count towards becoming your best possible self.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Personal Development

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 2, 2015

Reviews

[Victoria Zen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have listened it in audio format. Very thought provoking, a lot of illustrative life stories, good explanations, useful tools. Definitely worth getting printed copy and to be used as a workbook.

Just to comment on people that say this book is the same as any other self help book. It probably is. Why keep reading them? Maybe it's time to take some action. You are not going to find miracles anywhere, you have to put work.

[Adrienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book for people who are just starting therapy or who are thinking about starting therapy. It goes into detail about what you can do to get the most out of your therapy. Chapter 1 talks about taking off the mask you wear to the world to show your real side and get real with your therapist. Chapter 2 discusses having your feelings but not letting them take you over. Chapter 3 discusses looking within for the source of change, and Chapter 4 talks about the importance of having an authentic relationship with your therapist. You need to be able to trust the therapist and open yourself to him or her to get the best treatment. Chapter 5 talks about observing yourself without judgment and criticizing. Chapter 6 discusses boundaries and when to say no so that you carry only your fair share. Chapter 7 talks about finding the recurring patterns, themes, and beliefs in your life. Chapter 8 then talks about the importance of "writing a new narrative" for your life story that is more helpful than self-destructive. Chapter 9 talks about ways to continue therapy when you aren't in session, through journaling, working with dreams, art therapy, joining a support group, exercising, engaging with your community, and symbolic, ritual actions that can be taken, as well as reading helpful books. This was my favorite chapter. Chapter 10 is called Into the Fire and uses the metaphor (I think that's the right word) of fire as hardships and adversity in life to become stronger, much like metal forged in fire becomes stronger. Finally, the appendixes are helpful with information on how to start therapy and find a good therapist that works for you, when it would be a good time to end therapy (not with a phone call or email saying you're done, for example), as well as some data supporting the effectiveness of psychodynamic psychotherapy.

Overall, a great book. I was pleased with it, and I loved the cartoons and quotes that are at the beginning of each chapter. This is a great book to read to get a handle of what working on things in therapy means and how to get the most out of your therapy.

I received this book for free from Goodreads First Reads.

[Katie Bernard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good insights but would be easier to follow in a paper book. Important info to help therapy be beneficial.

[Rising Phoenix]

I'm Working on It in Therapy by Gary Trosclair

As someone who has been to therapy before, I initially wondered what more this book could offer me. But let me tell you—I'm Working on It in Therapy is a game-changer, no matter where you are in your therapy journey. Whether you’re a first-timer, someone who’s struggled to find the right therapist, or a returning client looking to go deeper, this book has something valuable to offer. I found it incredibly insightful even after my own therapy experience, and I know I’ll return to it in the future when I need a reminder of how to get the most out of the process.

One of the biggest takeaways for me was the emphasis on authenticity in therapy. Trosclair makes it clear that the many masks we wear in life—whether to fit societal expectations, protect ourselves, or avoid discomfort—don’t belong in the therapist’s office. Real progress comes from taking those masks off and saying everything, even the thoughts and feelings we’re ashamed of. That’s how we can truly examine all aspects of ourselves and move toward growth.

Another concept that stuck with me was the idea of integrating our shadow—the unconscious parts of ourselves that we tend to suppress. When left unchecked, these hidden aspects can cause problems in our lives. But when we acknowledge and integrate them, they actually enrich us rather than disrupt us. Trosclair states, “…the entire therapeutic process is about making the unconscious conscious,” and that resonated deeply with me. The more we bring awareness to our inner world, the more control we gain over our emotions, behaviors, and choices.

The book also introduces a three-step process for emotional channeling, which I found particularly useful. One study that stood out to me examined the emotional impact of crying. It turns out that crying in the presence of one empathetic person is more beneficial than crying alone or even in a group. This fascinated me because it scientifically confirms something I’ve always felt intuitively—strong human connection is incredibly healing. In fact, Trosclair explains that when we retell a painful story to someone who truly listens, our brain actually rewires the memory, making it less painful over time.

I’ve always believed in the power of human connection, but this book reinforced just how transformative it can be. It also made me realize that therapy isn’t just about venting—it’s about rewiring, integrating, and truly working on ourselves in a way that leads to lasting change.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in therapy, struggled to find the right therapist, or just want to make sure you’re getting the most out of the experience, I highly recommend this book. It’s one I’ll be returning to again, and I think anyone serious about personal growth should have it on their shelf.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book is as brilliant as asking a potential landlord to fill out your application which includes refreneces.

What my 👂 heard ⤵️

every little scrap of joy
deep lasting change takes time to achieve
psychotherapy is not a drive-thru activity
beware the dangers of the good client mask
don't ignore your emotional depletions
aim for wholeness and a true self not perfection
if your experience with your therapist is too comfortable little change will occur
try out being comfortable in your own skin gradually
what do I need to be seen and validated by my therapist
none of us enter or leave therapy with a total sense of our psyche
it's okay to want to be liked but don't betray yourself in order to do so
therapy serves as a workout session for the ego
our lives are mostly a constant evasion of ourselves
Don't drown your feelings in wine
don't use addictions to avoid emotions
I have no patience for your sloppiness
he has a low grade depression
you're painting me in extreme terms extremely lazy doesn't do anything etc etc
empty chair technique say whatever it is you would to the person in the empty chair and then say whatever it is you think they would say back to you
the body may be expressing what we are unconscious of
unconscious thought has a number of advantages over conscious thought in making complex decisions problem solving and creativity. it can include more than seven items at once it can include information that would have been excluded by consciousness. it can avoid the rules and rigid biases that limit consciousness. and it's better than conscious thought at asigning value and decisions.
the unconscious is prime to reach a goal and we'll reach that goal all without our knowing
you are perfect as you are and you can use some improvement
your visibly saddened
I'm always lavish in my praise.
im glad your depression began to lift
you became someone secure
the person is not the problem the problem is the problem
hero complex
there is a since of virtue in being hurt
our personal legend becomes our reason for being
compare your goals with how you behave
whats getting in the way of change
are you perfectionist
most of us exaggerate the downside of failure
i find her attractive and enjoy her warmth
my response is disingenuous or gloss

[Gebo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book to be somewhat helpful in my therapeutic experiences. But much of it to me was rather self-explanatory. Though, I find a lot of people are not very introspective or explore how their actions affect others and many who do are neurotic/have anxiety. So, if that's you and you're not super far into the process, this book will be incredibly helpful. I did find it helpful in that it gave very clear demarcations for goals and therapists. I realized why I had chosen poorly in the past...

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book #24 in 2022
4 stars

Author presents 10 strategies to get the most out of therapy.

I’m not a therapist, but as a pastor I do some pastoral counseling, so it was helpful to hear the author’s recommendations for everything from finding a good counselor yo what to do when you get stuck with emotions or places you don’t feel like exposing to how to wind up counseling, and everything in between.

[Holly Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this would be a useful tool for someone who isnt used to introspecting outwardly or struggles with what to do in therapy. Im not one of those people but i have recommended this to some people in my life who would find it useful.
For me it felt quite overexplained and repetitive. I think i could have got the same benefits from reading a contents page, but i also think i am not the target demographic for this book lol

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is absolutely wonderful, both as someone who goes to therapy and someone studying to be a therapist. I appreciate that approachable manner of the writing: everything that Trosclair suggests is actionable. He is very clear about his theoretical orientation and how that informa his writing and viewpoints. Excellent, definitely one to come back to.

[Guntass · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are a therapist or a patient/client or someone who would like to seek therapy but don’t know anything about it, this should definitely be on your on your reading list. This book gives a detailed journey about the process of therapy from the beginning till the end and everything in the middle.

Personally, I really liked this book!!

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are tons of books written by psychotherapists with a target audience of other psychotherapists, but this one is written for patients. Lots of useful advice on how to get the most out of therapy, how the therapeutic alliance helps deepen your journey, and what the patient can do between sessions to strengthen the therapeutic goals. I found this helpful and sensible.

[Fidget · Rating 5 out of 5]

yes, i would re-read it

The biggest benefit of the book was it gave me words to use to describe feelings parts and pieces of me. it was an easy read. Which to me means I didn’t have to try and figure out what convoluted sentence meant— it was cogent and coherent.

[Dmitrij · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book but i think author tries to sell psychoanalysis and its branches as one and only really working approach when it comes to long lasting personality change.
Which is not the case.
Thank you for great perspective but it is obviously not the only one and only.
:)

[MS Meagher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heavily biased in favour of psychoanalysis to the detriment of shorter-term (and less expensive) alternatives. Interestingly dismisses DBT as another short-term therapy, although it requires a year’s commitment. Otherwise quite useful.

[Edna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Valuable for not only potential and current clients of therapy, but also therapists, therapists-in-training and seasoned therapists. The author captures critical information for both the provider and the client to keep in mind throughout the therapeutic process.

[Kate Henderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

**listened to via audible**

I was really enjoying this book to begin with - but the more it went on, the more it really 'dragged' and became quite repetitive.
I couldn't finish this.

[Tim Rueb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book, just not my cup of tea.

[Rebee · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a while to get through this one but it was well worth it and I know I will read it again in the future.
I recommend this to both people in counseling and for counselors.

[Isak Bakkeli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kurant bok om psykoterapi, tror den er bedre egnet å ha i fysisk format, slik at man kan slå opp i den

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Q

[Diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not the book for me.

[Hind · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure I learned much from this book, but it was alright.

[Cally Clifft · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting insight

[Alex Pal. · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book, with the goal to educate people doing psychotherapy, what to expect, how to prepare, and how to get the most out of it.

[Susan Walker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another book about how to get the most out of your therapy. I did not find this very interesting.