The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us

by Felice Newman

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book was the first-ever sex guide to offer information and encouragement for all women who desire women -- lesbian, bisexual, butch, femme, androgynous, and transgender. First published in 1999, it's been lauded for its thoroughness, enthusiastic tone, and creative, nonjudgmental approach to lesbian sex in all its rich variety. (Library Journal lamented, "Why can't more heterosexual sex manuals be this good?") Now, five years later, sex educator Felice Newman has completely updated this classic guide. There is new information throughout, up-to-date research, fresh quotes from women who share their real-world experiences, a greatly expanded resource guide, new illustrations, and an entire new chapter on sex and partnership.

Topics include:


Where to find sex partners (and how to talk to your lovers about sex). Discovering your desires and fantasies.
How to have all the orgasms you desire--G-spot orgasms, multiple orgasms, extended orgasms, and ejaculation.
Why communication is the most important erotic skill you can offer your partners.
How masturbation can improve your sex life.
Expert how-to information on cunnilingus, anal sex, vaginal fisting, and other favorite lesbian sex techniques.
How to choose vibrators, dildos, and harnesses, and get the most out of your sex toys.
And much more.

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, LGBT, Queer, Lesbian, Self Help, Erotica

400 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Felice Newman is a somatic coach who works with couples and individuals. She is an author and a founding publisher of Cleis Press.

Reviews

[Dreia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately, the book didn't seem to have a lot of lesbian content - it was way, way too focused on being politically correct and writing about practically everyone except the majority of lesbians. It seemed like seventy five percent of the book was written for people who sleep with men, once were men, or are now men. A better book is "Lesbian Sex" by JoAnn Loulan.

[Layna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just a lot of fun, what can I say? Oddly, as a lesbian, I haven't read many books strictly about lesbianism. This book, though, is less about that than what makes us lesbian--the fun of sex. All about that contained right here. Read it, play with it, your girlfriend will thank you.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a pretty good book; I think if you've been out for awhile you probably already know how to please a woman and negotiate how things work in and out in bed with two women. You've probably used or had the pleasure of experiencing a strap on, you know not only where the clit is but where the g-spot is, you know how to have or give multiple orgasms, and if you're lucky (or talented), you've experienced a female ejaculation. But before you can get into all this good stuff, you have to know how to find a woman, which unfortunately usually means going out into the drama-filled world of lesbian bars. The alternative is websites like Craigslist or OkCupid or Match (or other websites in this genre, although forget eHarmony - they cater to breeders only). So, it tells it how the bar scene usually works, which in all reality isn't much different from a hetero place except that most females aren't as aggressive as guys, and one-night stands are rare (not that they don't happen, but it is not common). Oh and watch out for straight couples - they're usually shopping for a third. All in all, not a bad book; though somewhat basic it had some interesting info, and if you're just learning the scene, it's not a bad place to start.

[Ruth Segal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book because it had some good insights about staying sexually active as we age and how long term couples can choose to stay sexually active with eachother. I agree with the author that keeping one's sexuality alive for all of one's life is indeed a choice and one that can sometimes require action and committment in a way that is not as neccessary in youth or in brand new relationships. As far as techniques, the book covers a lot of territory and is well written and sexy to read. The illistrations did not work for me, which is the reason I only gave 4 stars.

[Angry · Rating 4 out of 5]

i learned a lot so yeah leave me a message :)

[Cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

Lesbians are female homosexuals. This book says lesbians like males. Homophobic.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very comprehensive book in the vein of "Our bodies, ourselves" but lesbian centered. Learned everything from what color hanky to wear in my back pocket at bars to health, sex, psychology, etc. A good one for gay-straight alliances to have on their bookshelves as a loaner... just remind people not to actually take it to bed with them. *lol*

[Megan Bowra-Dean · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really 101 and despite its early assurances of being inclusive towards trans* people, it amounted to tokenism. A little discussion on trans* men but not on trans* women other than "they exist". Really typical of the lesbian community though. Just disappointing when it's recommended as the "Bible" of lesbian sex.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

its my opinion that everyone who wants to have sex with women, or is a woman, should read this book.

[Pearl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent, very readable and informative. I'd recommend this to every woman-not just my fellow gays- the info provided is super helpful for anyone with a body.

[Aeron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Doesn't matter what you label yourself as, this is a good read for anyone. Including men. It's not erotica, it's informative and enlightening. You will learn things about your (women) body that you should have learned in health class- but you didn't because our society doesn't value the importance of pleasing women.

[Carmen something · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is the best sexual health resource book on the market. While focused on women who (mostly) have sex with women, the text is useful for all women and for their partners.

[Puja · Rating 2 out of 5]

dont buy it... browsing through at your local bookstore will be more than enough. in case you wondered.

[Chris Lott · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the best thing that happened to my self esteem when naked. True story.

[Miriam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous How-TO

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

glad it exists, but the drawings are a little silly.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for heterosexuals as well lesbians & bisexuals. (Yes, men can get a LOT of good info here!)

[Emmanuel Tsibuah]

COOL

[April Mossow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good tips, needs better pics. ;)

[Mel ReadingWithMAC · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you need/want/are looking for assistance or want to spice it up in the bedroom, this is the book for you.

[Briana Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very complete guide. Honestly I was trying to read a book about women sexuality and this is more of a begginer's guide to sex toys but still worth it, I did learn about many trademarks that can work like I want to.

[Avory Faucette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t rave enough about this book, really. It’s extremely informative, with an excellent resource section, and best of all it’s inclusive. You finish this sex manual feeling that there is no “wrong” way to go about lesbian sex, and that says a lot for the book in my opinion. It’s trans and kink inclusive, and addresses issues such as sex with a disability, sex during depression, and safer sex in a comprehensive way that few guides tackle. I thought that there was really nothing new to learn about lesbian sex, despite my very limited experience. It seemed fairly straightforward to me, but this book gave me some ideas I’d never really considered. I especially like how some of the anatomical myths are debunked – I had no idea that I was so confused about my own anatomy until I read the first couple of chapters. I ended up grabbing a flashlight and mirror for the first time and was a bit amazed about how confused I’d been. I highly recommend this guide for anyone looking for a comprehensive, straightforward, unapologetic look at lesbian sex.

[Jacia · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, I finally finished this monster of a self-help book. Goodness, what a read! I learned a lot from this book, and I really enjoyed the way the information was presented. I actually recommend this to any woman, no matter the sexuality.

[Kiwi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Filled with great facts, humour, and a fantastic educational experience. The resources are excellent as well. I can tell I'll be looking through that list and seeing what else I want to read!

I knew I was sold, too, when it mentioned both Betty Dodson and Nina Hartley fairly early on. ;D

[Christy Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another book I recall buying and reading so long ago that I can't do a great review of it at this point, but I do remember thinking it was very thorough and very well done. It was the sort of book that I wished I had had when I first had a female partner, but hadn't yet found something that was exclusively about lesbian sex. Definitely would recommend this, even today.

[Tattered Cover Book Store]

This book is on the bibliography of books challenged, restricted, removed or banned in 2007-2008 put out by Robert P. Doyle and the American Library Association. More info at http://www.ila.org/pdf/2008banned.pdf

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written book, especially useful for lesbians just coming out. Covers important topics like safer sex, gender identity, and BDSM (in a non-judgmental, sex-positive tone). Provides further readings. Includes some realistic and empowering drawings.

[Danny Brzozowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first half focuses too much on dysfunction and seems almost apologetic. The second half is awesome. All together this book addresses far more subjects, and in far more depth, than I ever expected.

[Tina Batya · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh.

[JKR · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an informative read. It is not just for lesbians it is for women in general. I would recommend this book to any women no matter her sexual orientation.