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That's Mr. Faggot to You: Further Trials from My Queer Life
That's Mr. Faggot to You continues Ford's exploration of contemporary gay life. He does not shy away from personal revelations--he recalls his own traumatic high school experiences but recognizes that, years later, he's happier and, more importantly, a great deal more attractive than his classmates--but also offers insight into more political issues such as religion and politics and Wynonna Judd. Never abandoning his caustic wit, Ford is honest to a fault and does not suffer fools or dog-haters lightly.
222 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 15, 1999
4 people are currently reading
326 people want to read
About the author
Michael Thomas Ford
61 books809 followersMichael Thomas Ford is the author of more than 75 books in genres ranging from humor to horror, literary fiction to nonfiction. His work for adult readers includes the best-selling novels What We Remember, The Road Home, Changing Tides, Full Circle, Looking for It and Last Summer, and his five essay collections in the "Trials of My Queer Life" series. His novel Lily was a Tiptree Award Longlist title and a finalist for both the Lambda Literary Award and the Shirley Jackson Award. He is also the author of the Sickening Adventures series of books featuring popular contestants from RuPaul's Drag Race.
As a writer for young adults he is the author of the novels Suicide Notes, Z, and Love & Other Curses, and under the name Isobel Bird he wrote the popular "Circle of Three" series. His work has been nominated for 14 Lambda Literary Awards, twice winning for Best Humor Book, twice for Best Romance Novel, and once for Best Mystery. He was also nominated for a Horror Writers Association Bram Stoker Award (for his novel The Dollhouse That Time Forgot).
As a writer for young adults he is the author of the novels Suicide Notes, Z, and Love & Other Curses, and under the name Isobel Bird he wrote the popular "Circle of Three" series. His work has been nominated for 14 Lambda Literary Awards, twice winning for Best Humor Book, twice for Best Romance Novel, and once for Best Mystery. He was also nominated for a Horror Writers Association Bram Stoker Award (for his novel The Dollhouse That Time Forgot).
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
January 12, 2010
Michael Thomas Ford is no David Sedaris, that's for sure. If I had read this 10 years ago, when it came out, I might have liked it better. And even at the beginning, I found myself nodding my head in agreement. After the first part it gets boring. And more boring. He moves on to show that he is as typically "gay" as he denies being, and he is as "normal" as he says he does not want to be.
January 9, 2018
Published in 1999, this book should be like time travel. Amazingly, though, little has changed. Most of the issues are still the same: feeling uncomfortable with organized religion, fighting stereotypes, trying to be "accepted" by the straight community, dealing with bullies growing up, feeling that the "younger gays" just "don't get it" with regards to our struggle and our history, the obsession with youth and good looks in the gay community... The list goes on. Maybe that should be a comfort, but somehow, it is frustrating that so many of these issues continue and will probably never be resolved. The best message in the book is the one about not being afraid to be different. Don't try so hard to be "accepted" that you stifle yourself and what makes you who you are. Very timely. As our current government takes more and more steps to "punish" our community, we have to continue to speak out and push back even if people get uncomfortable with that. Or refuse to acknowledge it. Personally, I can get 105 "likes" on Facebook for a recipe, but if I post anything about the injustices being heaped on the LGBT community, I may get a paltry 5 or 7 reactions. (This has happened on several occasions.) But I have to keep fighting the fight, because I am "different" and because that is quite all right.
January 14, 2024
It might seem strange that I even bothered to read this when I rated the first one so low, but I saw this one first and only bought ABDLM because it was on the same shelf and I figured I ought to read em in the order they were written, and that 'if I like em I'll buy the rest of this guy's work.' And I finish what I start, more or less.
I almost want to rate this lower, possibly because I was technically more disappointed. How can a book titled /That's Mr. Faggot to You/, and with a cover like THAT, be so fucking boring? There was a particular betrayal with the chapter that bears the same title: it's literally not even about an experience where the author gets called a faggot and then reclaims it. He admits he hasn't been called it since high school because he's assumed straight. The chapter isn't totally worthless; it talks about a particular case of someone else enduring homophobia and then segues into his own high school experiences... but very briefly. Like, CRUELLY brief. That content could easily have been very interesting if he'd just fleshed it out more. Like literally why not?? He's just teasing me with the fact that he technically IS capable of writing something meaningful. wtf.
Anyway once again the majority of content in this book is unrelated to being gay. Ford clearly, in fact MOSTLY used these book deals as an excuse to just put his hot takes in print. If it was all lgbt related takes, sure, that would be one thing. But it's not. And it's random filler bs too. 'My life changed when I got a dog.' 'I don't like Christmas bc the gifts suck.' 'I was bad at PE.' 'Sometimes I get bad reviews and I think those people are just haters.' Like imo if you can summarize a chapter with a single sentence and you really don't miss out on anything by JUST knowing the sentence, it's not a good fucking chapter.
At times this honestly wore my patience so thin that I did something I almost never ever do with books: I skipped chapters. I don't like doing it because I don't want to miss things. And I don't want to have a bias of *lacking* information when I give a review. But all the chapters are unrelated vignettes anyway so after a point where I was struggling to pay attention, I decided I'd skim the first few paragraphs at the beginning of a chapter and decide from there if I wanted to actually read the rest. I only did this a few times, but still.
Like I said in the ABDLM review, too, you can just... god you can tell how clever Ford THINKS he is. Often spending 5+ pages saying nothing. Genuinely just showing off that he knows a lot of words. I say this AS someone who knows a lot of words. I write prose. *His* attempts to turn the mundane interesting is the WORST kind of prose. It's a college freshman trying to hit the minimum wordcount. It's literary devices just for the SAKE of putting a device in there and to SEEM (to very dumb people) like it's interesting, rather than actually using them as tools to get a particular point across. Truly insane that these are at all acclaimed.
Anything that felt actually worth my time to read rather than something I simply felt obligated to do was few and far in-between. Those last 2 chapters in particular. I really feel like he had something good to say there, and it's some of the ONLY stuff of value he had to say so I guess it's good he put it at the end so that the book would end on a high note. At the same time, I feel like those chapters only even read as good as they do because of how the rest of the book compares.
I don't recommend this at all. It's so unfortunate because the title and cover are so good, but they're utterly misleading. I'm not gonna bother trying to read anything else by this guy. Honestly looking at the blurbs for the most recent novels I'm not sure that he ever improved.
I almost want to rate this lower, possibly because I was technically more disappointed. How can a book titled /That's Mr. Faggot to You/, and with a cover like THAT, be so fucking boring? There was a particular betrayal with the chapter that bears the same title: it's literally not even about an experience where the author gets called a faggot and then reclaims it. He admits he hasn't been called it since high school because he's assumed straight. The chapter isn't totally worthless; it talks about a particular case of someone else enduring homophobia and then segues into his own high school experiences... but very briefly. Like, CRUELLY brief. That content could easily have been very interesting if he'd just fleshed it out more. Like literally why not?? He's just teasing me with the fact that he technically IS capable of writing something meaningful. wtf.
Anyway once again the majority of content in this book is unrelated to being gay. Ford clearly, in fact MOSTLY used these book deals as an excuse to just put his hot takes in print. If it was all lgbt related takes, sure, that would be one thing. But it's not. And it's random filler bs too. 'My life changed when I got a dog.' 'I don't like Christmas bc the gifts suck.' 'I was bad at PE.' 'Sometimes I get bad reviews and I think those people are just haters.' Like imo if you can summarize a chapter with a single sentence and you really don't miss out on anything by JUST knowing the sentence, it's not a good fucking chapter.
At times this honestly wore my patience so thin that I did something I almost never ever do with books: I skipped chapters. I don't like doing it because I don't want to miss things. And I don't want to have a bias of *lacking* information when I give a review. But all the chapters are unrelated vignettes anyway so after a point where I was struggling to pay attention, I decided I'd skim the first few paragraphs at the beginning of a chapter and decide from there if I wanted to actually read the rest. I only did this a few times, but still.
Like I said in the ABDLM review, too, you can just... god you can tell how clever Ford THINKS he is. Often spending 5+ pages saying nothing. Genuinely just showing off that he knows a lot of words. I say this AS someone who knows a lot of words. I write prose. *His* attempts to turn the mundane interesting is the WORST kind of prose. It's a college freshman trying to hit the minimum wordcount. It's literary devices just for the SAKE of putting a device in there and to SEEM (to very dumb people) like it's interesting, rather than actually using them as tools to get a particular point across. Truly insane that these are at all acclaimed.
Anything that felt actually worth my time to read rather than something I simply felt obligated to do was few and far in-between. Those last 2 chapters in particular. I really feel like he had something good to say there, and it's some of the ONLY stuff of value he had to say so I guess it's good he put it at the end so that the book would end on a high note. At the same time, I feel like those chapters only even read as good as they do because of how the rest of the book compares.
I don't recommend this at all. It's so unfortunate because the title and cover are so good, but they're utterly misleading. I'm not gonna bother trying to read anything else by this guy. Honestly looking at the blurbs for the most recent novels I'm not sure that he ever improved.
June 26, 2017
This book represents a couple 'firsts' in my book life: (1) I almost never pick up a book based solely on the cover, or even just the hilarious title on the spine, as it was in this case, and then go buy it without so much as a glance at the reviews, and (2) I never think to check out the LGBTQ section of a bookstore; no particular reason why not, but it usually happens to be between inert sections like Civil War History and Pop Philosophy. But it's Pride weekend, and I'm only over my weekly book budget by like $30, so why not?
Those risks paid off this time. Found a very good collection of essays about being a gay man in the 90's. Back then, Ellen was a big deal. Back then, there were 83 people on AOL who listed "llamas" as an interest. Back then you had to pick up the landline phone and cold call men based on ads in the classifieds sprinkled with code words, and then, set up a date sight unseen!
One of the more somber and thoughtful essays was "Fitting In", where he talks about consciously attempting to 'fit in' with the queer community. He once tried to be an all-out constantly-angry activist like a "good gay". But it never sat right with him. "Since then I've figured out how to integrate being gay with being me. Yes, I still get angry about things. Yes, I think fighting for causes is important. But so are a lot of other things, things that have nothing to do with being gay." Interesting. I wonder if there's a more recent follow up, now that this collection is nearly 20 years old.
It was funny how many times he talked about L.L. Bean, I didn't quite get the joke or reference but is it a queer brand, or just considered super yuppie?
He just briefly touches on the history of American gay culture (Stonewall is mentioned several times; apparently cowboy was really In in the 70's and leather jackets hit their peak in the 80's). The topic seems interesting and I definitely don't know enough, so I'll be on the look out for a good basic history to read.
Those risks paid off this time. Found a very good collection of essays about being a gay man in the 90's. Back then, Ellen was a big deal. Back then, there were 83 people on AOL who listed "llamas" as an interest. Back then you had to pick up the landline phone and cold call men based on ads in the classifieds sprinkled with code words, and then, set up a date sight unseen!
One of the more somber and thoughtful essays was "Fitting In", where he talks about consciously attempting to 'fit in' with the queer community. He once tried to be an all-out constantly-angry activist like a "good gay". But it never sat right with him. "Since then I've figured out how to integrate being gay with being me. Yes, I still get angry about things. Yes, I think fighting for causes is important. But so are a lot of other things, things that have nothing to do with being gay." Interesting. I wonder if there's a more recent follow up, now that this collection is nearly 20 years old.
It was funny how many times he talked about L.L. Bean, I didn't quite get the joke or reference but is it a queer brand, or just considered super yuppie?
He just briefly touches on the history of American gay culture (Stonewall is mentioned several times; apparently cowboy was really In in the 70's and leather jackets hit their peak in the 80's). The topic seems interesting and I definitely don't know enough, so I'll be on the look out for a good basic history to read.
October 19, 2023
Overall an excellent read! Only 4/5 instead of 5/5 because a couple essays and some references didn't age very well, dated and a bit incomprehensible without a encyclopaedic knowledge of 90s and early 2000s celebrities.
This novel is absolutely excellent, a combination of very funny observations/anecdotes and highly articulate essays on queer issues. Most of, if not all, of the Queer issues he talks about are still sickeningly relevant, and also provided different points of views that I had never encountered. It also strikes me about how many of the points he talks about being used against gay people are now the exact points being used against trans people today.
His point on Disney not actually caring about queers and only caring about profit margins were especially interesting.
He also has some great things to say about infighting in the queer community and how it is for the most part pointless and serves only to divide us. Also some great stuff on being a particular type of gay or how you cant spend every waking moment fighting for your life.
Interesting insights into the old internet as well, strange to think of single word searches having less than 1000 results!
He also articulated some things about trading our community for recognition, and how 'mystique' has been lost in the name of making ourselves palatable for the straights.
Would defiantly recommend.
This novel is absolutely excellent, a combination of very funny observations/anecdotes and highly articulate essays on queer issues. Most of, if not all, of the Queer issues he talks about are still sickeningly relevant, and also provided different points of views that I had never encountered. It also strikes me about how many of the points he talks about being used against gay people are now the exact points being used against trans people today.
His point on Disney not actually caring about queers and only caring about profit margins were especially interesting.
He also has some great things to say about infighting in the queer community and how it is for the most part pointless and serves only to divide us. Also some great stuff on being a particular type of gay or how you cant spend every waking moment fighting for your life.
Interesting insights into the old internet as well, strange to think of single word searches having less than 1000 results!
He also articulated some things about trading our community for recognition, and how 'mystique' has been lost in the name of making ourselves palatable for the straights.
Would defiantly recommend.
August 27, 2018
4.5 stars
March 28, 2020
loved it.
August 28, 2015
Cranky, bemused and extremely funny, Ford (Alec Baldwin Doesn't Love Me) is brilliant even on potentially mundane topics like high school reunions (""Michael Thomas Ford is very proud to announce that he is still queer... [and] happier, more successful, and a great deal more attractive"" than his former schoolmates) and the giving of advice to his 12-year-old nephew about girlfriends (it wasn't so bad, once he mentally substituted Roberto and Jesse for Amber and Megan in the junior-high love triangle). Ford is peeved at a number of people, including Baptists boycotting Ellen, a certain senator from North Carolina and former ACT-UP leaders who now want gay men and women to be ""just like everybody else."" Ford admits, ""I had a vague notion that to be just like everybody else was to no longer exist. But secretly I was glad I could stop wearing my earring."" He has love in his heart, too, for Wynonna Judd, for instance--""Yes, it's true. I want to have big jouncing breasts and masses of thick red hair. I want full, pouty lips that curl up in an Elvis sneer. I want to caress my guitar while thousands of lesbians squeal in delight and wet their cheap vinyl seats as they watch me totter across the stage in tight cowboy boots. I can't help it."" He also champions ""Dawgs"" (""the blue-collar citizens of the canine world"") against joggers, picnickers and other obstacles. ""I'll tell you what,"" he says to an overprotective parent. ""If he bites her, you can have him shot. And if your little girl bites him, I'll have her shot."" Not for the faint-hearted, or fans of Jesse Helms, this collection achieves the feel of a down-and-dirty dish session with a very amusing friend.
May 3, 2009
This was Ford's second book of essays. It is nicely broken down into themed sections that focus on everything from a set dealing with dogs (his own and canines in general) and God (or religion) which are thrown together due to their inverted spellings, his views on gay culture, dating, how gay teens are treated,and just everyday life.
He just has an interesting view about the world. He is a master at satirizing the things around them. It is not mean-hearted, and it makes you think. It almost always makes me laugh. What is better is that he is able to do the same in relation to himself.
I am really glad I ran across his stuff. I would love to meet him in person just because I think it would be fun. We don't always agree in our opinions, but we definitely share an over-arching view of the way the world works.
He just has an interesting view about the world. He is a master at satirizing the things around them. It is not mean-hearted, and it makes you think. It almost always makes me laugh. What is better is that he is able to do the same in relation to himself.
I am really glad I ran across his stuff. I would love to meet him in person just because I think it would be fun. We don't always agree in our opinions, but we definitely share an over-arching view of the way the world works.
April 25, 2008
While the writing itself is very good, and even usually witty; I found that I was lacking two important things to be in agreement with Mike regularly. Those two things are a driving desire for being very out and a love of dogs with a disregard for the laws regarding same in most townships. Some of his essays, however, are highly entertaining. Just be prepared to take him with a grain of salt.
April 20, 2009
A collection of very funny editorials that Ford has written. Can be a little repetative all together, but with that in mind it's a light entertaining read. Overall Ford hit home for me points about Why do gays want to be like everyone else? Isn't it more fun being underground and on the edges of society?
November 8, 2010
Hilarious - I startled the cats by laughing out loud several times. I also appreciate Ford's wry and counter-sub-cultural (if I can coin a phrase) analysis of certain issues of the late '90s, such as the over-the-top condemnation of the movie In & Out in queer circles. He nicely cuts through the b.s.
October 29, 2014
This collection of essays are combined; creating a well-knit book full of laughter and humor. I read The Last Summer by this author and the two works are as different as night and day. There is almost a laugh in every paragraph in That's Mr. Faggot to You. If you are looking for non-fiction, this is the greatest!
February 15, 2013
Excellent. The author captured my own thoughts so well, sometimes I thought I should have written this. Gay is about being different and not being like everyone else. So be proud of your natural qualities.
Recommended A++++
Recommended A++++
May 24, 2013
This was the first collection I read, because the title definitely got my attention. I read this during a time when I was not in the best place, so Ford's essays were a welcome comfort. I highly recommend all of them!
October 15, 2009
I don't always agree with Ford's opinions, but I always enjoy reading them.
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July 3, 2018Read several years ago.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews