در این کتاب کاربیرد "زبان تئوری انتخاب" در روابط دو عضوی و تعاملات انسانی به ویژه در چهار موقعیت والدین-فرزندان، معلم-محصل، زن-شوهر و مدیر-کارمند به طور عملی و روشن وضیح داده شده است. مطالعه این کتاب به شما کمک خواهد کرد تا روابط خود با اطرافیان و عزیزانتان را بهبود بخشید.
همانطور که قدرت دیگران مایه نگرانی ما میشود، خصوصاً وقتی که از آن علیه خواسته ما استفاده کنند، تهدید شدن و به خطر افتادن آزادی هم ما را نگران میکند. به اعتقاد من نیاز به آزادی یک نیاز تکمیلی است که هدفش ایجاد توازن بین دو چیز است:
1) نیاز به مجبور کردن دیگری برای آنکه که طبق میل ما زندگی کند. 2) نیاز دیگری به رها شدن از اجبار.
این قانون طلایی که می گویند با دیگران همان طور رفتار کن که دوست داری با تو رفتار کنند، تعادل و توازن مورد نظر من را نشان میدهد. کنترل بیرونی که فرزند قدرت است، دشمن آزادی میباشد، قانون خونبارش هم که میگوید از قدرت خود برای کشتن آدمهایی که مخالف تو هستند استفاده کن. " این علت اصلی رنج و عذاب بشر در سراسر دنیاست "
Helpful when learning how to change your way of communicating with others so you are not owning their emotions and choices while helping them to see the consequences (negative and positive) of their choices.
Not great. Extremely watered-down in terms of motives behind actions and at times the suggested response seems almost childish. Glasser’s other work on Choice Theory was highly insightful whereas this work only consists of a of collection external control versus “choice theory” viewpoints and critiques. In nearly every case Glasser bases his Choice Theory response on the premise that the counterparty will immediately capitulate. In reality this is hardly the case. Glasser paints a beautiful picture with his statements and engages the imagination of the reader effectively but fails to recognize that in some instances agreement and cooperation will remain impossible.
I started reading this back in 2002 and quoted it in my book, "The Secrets of Creating a Life Beyond Limits."
Though I picked it up again recently, and as it's a great book that helps parents to put an empowering spin to their language. It's not exactly as good as NLP language patterns, but it's a great adjunct to it.
Some great examples of the style and language of choice theory. However, some of the examples and language are definite showing their age and an updated version would be useful. There are quite a few assumptions made when reading the responses - would be helpful to have a 2-3 line tee-up about what the situation is and then show the different ways of engaging.
سناریوهای مختلفی که میشه از تئوری انتخاب در حل و برخورد استفاده کرد رو نشون میده. اما خیلی ضعیف عملکرده و بعضا چرت میگه. برخوردهایی رو به عنوان برخورد تئوری انتخابی پیشنهاد میده که هیچ تناسبی با موضوع و اتفاق نداره 😐
Full disclosure: I wanted a quick nonfiction book, so I grabbed this one from my husband’s shelves. It was a disappointment. I agree with the theory, but this book feels like a waste of time.
Short, sweet, and crystal clear. This book, while of few words gives a clear set of examples of old psychology or "external control" and how the same situation can be made infinitely better by using Choice Theory instead. I have given examples like these in many of my sessions with clients and couples and I always pose the same question, "Now how do you see this situation being different by using the Choice Theory approach? How will your relationship benefit?" This book allows the reader to see many side by side comparisons and in doing so showing the reader the stark differences between the two psychologies.
A bit too brief or sparse for my taste, oversimplified. Not without merit as it absolutely succeeds in conveying the theoretical thrust of Glasser's larger work.