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Terry Lawson #3

A Decent Ride

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How important is a decent ride?
     A rampaging force of nature is wreaking havoc on the streets of Edinburgh, but has top shagger, drug-dealer, gonzo-porn-star and taxi-driver, 'Juice' Terry Lawson, finally met his match in Hurricane 'Bawbag'? Can Terry discover the fate of the missing beauty, Jinty Magdalen, and keep her idiot savant lover, the man-child Wee Jonty, out of prison? Will he find out the real motives of unscrupulous American businessman and reality-TV star, Ronald Checker? And, crucially, will Terry be able to negotiate life after a terrible event robs him of his sexual virility, and can a new fascination for the game of golf help him to live without... A DECENT RIDE?
     A Decent Ride sees Irvine Welsh back on home turf, leaving us in the capable hands of one of his most compelling and popular characters, 'Juice' Terry Lawson, and introducing another bound for cult status, Wee Jonty MacKay: a man with the genitals and brain of a donkey. 
     In his funniest, filthiest book yet, Irvine Welsh celebrates an un-reconstructed misogynist hustler -- a central character who is shameless but also, oddly, decent -- and finds new ways of making wild comedy out of fantastically dark material, taking on some of the last taboos. So fasten your seatbelts, because this is one ride that could certainly get a little bumpy.

368 pages, Hardcover

First published April 16, 2015

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2349 people want to read

About the author

Irvine Welsh

128 books7,593 followers
Probably most famous for his gritty depiction of a gang of Scottish Heroin addicts, Trainspotting (1993), Welsh focuses on the darker side of human nature and drug use. All of his novels are set in his native Scotland and filled with anti-heroes, small time crooks and hooligans. Welsh manages, however to imbue these characters with a sad humanity that makes them likable despite their obvious scumbaggerry. Irvine Welsh is also known for writing in his native Edinburgh Scots dialect, making his prose challenging for the average reader unfamiliar with this style.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 269 reviews
Profile Image for JK.
908 reviews63 followers
May 12, 2015
I live for new Welsh novels. Nothing can beat being amazed and disgusted whilst pishing yourself laughing at the same time. A Decent Ride was absolutely no exception; I loved it.

To see Welsh return to Edinburgh soil and show us more depth to a character we already know, was brilliant. Having him ferry us around in his cab, giving us the Juice Terry tour of Embra, was unbelievably barry. Terry is an incredibly flawed character, with his misogynistic way of viewing women, his penchant for sex, and his various other illegal little hobbies. Underneath all that, however, we can see a heart of gold (albeit a small one) shining through his tracky jacket.

We're introduced to a new character, Wee Jonty, Terry's terribly slow and dimwitted half-brother (or is he?). He gets himself into a number of situations ranging from the awkward to the downright macabre. Despite some of the actions he takes, you find yourself writing them off because he's such a poor wee soul. I think we all know a wee guy like Jonty, and probably none of us bother our arse about him.

The most important question underneath the narrative is, 'Who owns Scotland?'. Welsh makes some excellent, yet subtle, points here, and it's a good thought-provoker on the good-old independence question.

Welsh is on top form here. It's hard to agree whether this is "his filthiest yet", but it's definitely up there with the pit of the stomach boke, I canny believe I'm reading this, typical Welsh prose. A decent ride, right enough.
Profile Image for Paltia.
633 reviews109 followers
April 9, 2019
Five stars for the nearly non stop laugh out loud moments. Juice Terry, the mischievous one, spreading confusion, delusion and sheer delight as he drives on by in his cab. He takes what he wants behaving as if he’s out for himself. A man who seems to know who he is - the one who whispers rash ideas in your ears and carefree thoughts into your head at bedtime. He can be found around those who are lost and filled with doubt. He’ll bring out your wild side with his reckless style all for the sheer thrills. Crafty and cunning he delights in provoking others to audacious thoughts inviting them to try new ways to manage responsibilities. He does what he does well and beneath all that bravado is a proverbial heart of gold. Jings! Barry! Aye sur, aye sur. What a ride.
Profile Image for Ray.
Author 19 books433 followers
January 26, 2022
If you enjoy Irvine Welsh's specific brand of offensive humor, then this is the book for you. So much offensive humor!

If not, then this book will be a bit of a long slog...

In this episode of the Trainspotting Extended Universe, we have the focus on Terry Lawson. Originally introduced in Glue (which was a less successful take on the original Trainspotting formula), he was also a more important cast member of the T2 sequel also known as Porno. The somewhat well-meaning sex addict Juice Terry can get exhausting as the main point of view, but don't get me wrong as Irvine Welsh is a phenomenally good writer. The author's craft with words is still extremely impressive decades after his original hit, and being able to get so deeply into the minds of degenerates in Scotland is usually entertaining as hell. It's just that the plot goes on and on and this should've been a slimmer book.

So, Terry is a cab driver who only does scud movies on the side--Sick Boy is a minor character here by the way--while running scams and questioning his family line. Then the main inner conflict comes when he has to give up sex because of a heart condition, the poor bastard. There are side stories about a hurricane at the time, a missing girl and her well-endowed simple boyfriend, and drama about a brothel. Have I left out the necrophilia and incest?

One of the more interesting aspects, especially since this was presciently published in 2015, is a certain character: American right-wing businessman asshole with a reality show who loves golf. Yes, based on who you think. Welsh's take sure is engaging, but fair warning if you are sick of that subject by now.

Personally, I'm all in on Welsh's world-building and the novel A Decent Ride is required reading for me. That said, I wouldn't recommend this to most people unless you've read at least three of his novels prior and are very into it. Again, this book is simply too long and gets so damn repetitive. He's a great writer with a well-earned reputation, but perhaps the prestige led to a lack of editing as can happen with such novelists' latter careers. Just not Irvine Welsh's best.
Profile Image for Jayakrishnan.
545 reviews229 followers
December 14, 2020
A fawning review by A hardcore Irvine Welsh fan -

Well, it was wonderful. How can you not laugh at Juice Terry's (a spirited, picaresque and sexually athletic Scottish working class hero) musings on literature? -

"Ah've goat a bookcase wi some books Rab Birrell lends ays which ah nivir fuckin read but ah keep tae impress the student burds. Moby-Dick, Crime and Punishment, that sort ay shite. That Dostoevsky cunt, ah tried tae read um but every fucker hud aboot five different names, n ah left the scheme tae git away fae aw that! Too fuckin right." :)

Or when he is holding his own against capitalist-religious fanatical American millionaires who pull him up for unused land in Scotland which could be converted to golf courses -

"Cunts huv nae vision but, mate, Terry replies, trying to work out if this is a "we need to free ourselves from Westminister's shackles or a we're muppets who couldnt possibly run the place on our own number. Undecided, he ventures, - But ah'm no saying nowt against nae cunt, mind. Huv tae say but, ah like the woods. Ye cannae compromise too many outside-shaggin sites." :)

To the hardcore Irvine Welsh fans who were disappointed by "Crime" and "Siamese Twins" - the Welsh of old is back.

The social commentary and dark stuff wears a bit thin at times, but this book is hilarious and it cheers you up.

But when I finished the novel, it did leave me wondering if A Decent Ride is a peace offering to the fans/masses who were pissed off with Crime and Siamese Twins. Like a talented filmmaker who makes a commercial movie to finance the stuff he really wants to make.

Anyway, this book was like a treat for a hardcore Welsh fan like me. Like going for a drink with a close friend who turns up once every year or two.

I cant wait for the next Irvine Welsh novel.
Profile Image for Nigeyb.
1,475 reviews404 followers
October 23, 2018
Recommended to anyone who enjoys Irvine’s ouevre

Since reading 'Trainspotting’, around the time it came out, I have read most of Irvine Welsh's books and, to one degree or another, enjoyed them all, so - full disclosure - I came to 'A Decent Ride’ as a long time fan of Irvine Welsh’s work.

'A Decent Ride’ reintroduces readers to “Juice” Terry Lawson, who also appeared in Glue and Porno. An ageing, corkscrew haired, black-cab driving, sex maniac who is defined and motivated almost exclusively by his sex drive. He also sometimes stars in porno films and has an occasional foray into low level criminality.

The tale opens with some fairly broad humour and I wondered if Juice Terry could sustain an entire book however he’s actually great company and he's far more interesting than might appear at the outset. The story also takes numerous surprising, interesting and unexpected turns and, for my money, it’s up there with some of Irvine Welsh’s best work, only let down by being slightly rambling and repetitive towards the end. That said it is funny, moving and quietly profound. So not quite the five stars of Trainspotting, Skagboys, or Porno, however it’s still a rock solid four stars and highly recommended to anyone who enjoys Irvine’s ouevre.

Profile Image for Ubik 2.0.
1,073 reviews294 followers
January 16, 2018
Scotch Brand
Uno dei luoghi della narrativa contemporanea che più mi divertono è la Edimburgo di Irvine Welsh, anzi più precisamente non proprio la città storica e antica, la Old Town col famoso Castello, bensì la distesa dei sobborghi, dalla portuale Leith che a Welsh ha dato i natali, ai poco noti quartieri dell’interno come Gorgie e Penicuik dove è ambientata buona parte di questo romanzo, casermoni dormitorio dai mattoni grigio-rossastri in cui è difficile immaginare la propria esistenza se non tra i fumi dell’alcool.
I personaggi più noti di questa welshiana Edimburgo periferica, i protagonisti di Trainspotting, compaiono qui solo in piccola parte e in ruoli marginali, mentre assurgono in primo piano altri loschi figuri dello stesso giro e dalle stesse frequentazioni, birrerie e bordelli, angoli di spaccio della coca e squallidi circoli calcistici che ruotano intorno alle due principali squadre/rivali della città.
Un elemento importante della narrazione è il linguaggio, il gergo dell’hinterland edinburghese, talmente “esclusivo” che perfino a Glasgow (60km in linea d’aria…) Trainspotting uscì nei cinema in versione sottotitolata! Il traduttore italiano, che è lo stesso degli altri romanzi di Welsh, fa ancora una volta un egregio lavoro, ma è indubbio che l’impatto può respingere il lettore poco disponibile, tanto più quando nell’alternarsi delle voci nei capitoli l’io narrante è riservato a personaggi relegati ai gradini più bassi della scala sociale.
L’altro elemento è la catena di depravazioni, situazioni estreme, degrado al top, che la fantasia di Welsh sembra in grado di inanellare senza limiti: mi astengo dal citare esempi per evitare non tanto lo spoiler quanto il cattivo gusto, poiché occorre uno stomaco molto allenato per digerirne la sequela benché accompagnata da una notevole dose di spregiudicata ironia; rispetto ad altri cantori dell’eccesso come Chuck Palahniuk, si percepisce che Welsh descrive (portandolo, immagino e spero, al parossismo…) un mondo ed un ambiente borderline dove egli stesso ha vissuto, almeno fino al conseguimento del successo e della sicurezza economica.
Il problema di “Godetevi la corsa”, titolo derivante dal mestiere ufficiale di taxista dell’ineffabile protagonista (altresì piccolo spacciatore, pornoattore, guardiano di lupanari, ecc) è che il romanzo è davvero troppo lungo, una cavalcata infinita fra fiumi di alcool, droghe di tutti i generi, sesso per tutti i gusti (e disgusti), azioni perverse e perfide, dalla cui lettura si esce piuttosto frastornati perché, rispetto ad esempio all’ottimo Skagboys, il precedente Welsh che ho letto, la miscela fra gli ingredienti non è ben calibrata e il prodotto finale sembra tagliato male con sostanze dall’effetto imprevedibile.
Profile Image for Paul.
1,191 reviews75 followers
April 13, 2015
A Decent Ride – A Good Old Laugh

Jonathan Cape call A Decent Ride, Irvine Welsh’s tenth novel, as his ‘filthiest book yet’, it may be his filthiest and the laughs are from the pit of your stomach. What I enjoyed about A Decent Ride is that it is written in the vernacular and if you cannot get your head around that then stay out of this book. The use of the vernacular is one of the strengths of this book as it brings it to life and you can visualise Terry ‘Juice’ Lawson in his black cab around the streets of Edinburgh giving you the guided tour.

A Decent Ride can be seen as an extended monologue by Terry, who first appeared in Glue and a mention in Filth with a sub-monologue by Jonty who is a ‘simpleton from Penicuik’. We learn from the book that Juice loves shagging birds and making porno movies for Sick Boy with a side line of running drugs and looking after The Poofs ‘sauna’.

At the same time Juice picks up a fair at the Airport who happens to be a reality star and a sideline on being a billionaire. He is in Scotland to buy some very expensive scotch and play some golf and get some good PR especially after his recent development in Scotland had turned him in to a bad guy.

The main part of the action takes place during December 2011 during the event that became known is Scotland as Hurricane Bawbag. While Bawbag caused disaster something worse happens to Juice he has a life changing event that means he can no longer have his decent ride, and replaces his loss with golf, something about middle aged men, golf and sex metaphors.

While A Decent Ride is a work of fiction one cannot help thinking of certain American developers that could do with improving their PR after building a golf course in face of opposition. There are some wonderful questions that Welsh poses throughout the book, such as who actually owns Scotland and not all of them are English and should Scotland be independent (yes I find myself saying).

A Decent Ride shows that Irvine Welsh has never lost touch with what made us like his writing twenty years ago. Yes there is misogyny there are plenty of comic capers that writing in the vernacular really illustrates far better than if it has been written in Standard English. Irvine Welsh really is on form with A Decent Ride and you cannot help loving Juice especially when he turns to golf to take his mind off sex. There is something of every one of us in the book, and the great thing is this book is unashamedly not politically correct – I love it!
Profile Image for Matthew Vaughn.
Author 93 books191 followers
January 31, 2020
I just finished my second read of A Decent Ride, but this time I listened to the audiobook version. I might have enjoyed it even more this time. Re-listening to a few of Welsh's books recently I caught a bunch of secondary characters from other books in this book, which makes me happy for whatever reason. Tam Dean Burn did a flawless job narrating, and the ending worked better for me this time.

Thoughts after my first read: Another great book from Irvine Welsh! Juice Terry has to be one of my favorite characters he has created. The only thing keeping this from being five stars is that ending, I'm not sure how I felt about it.
Profile Image for Mark.
51 reviews
April 29, 2015
Incredible book. Great characters, aye sur. I'd like to say this is the best book you'll ever read that simultaneously covers a whole list of taboos, but I can't list the taboos because they would be spoilers.

But, aye, barry.

Profile Image for stefano.
188 reviews160 followers
November 14, 2019
Un romanzo tutto dedicato al mio idolo personalissimo Terence Lawson. Sarei anche un pelino grande, per averci gli idoli, ma però questo qua è un idolo che mi porto indietro fin dal febbraio 2002. C'avevo vent'anni, uno scooterone orrendo, una fidanzata che me l'ero fatto regalare e poi per leggerlo inventavo che stavo male, così non dovevo uscire con lei. Sarebbe orgoglioso di me, Terry Lawson. Di me e dei miei sotterfugi. Adesso di anni ne ho ormai trentatré, non ho più quella fidanzata, né lo scooterone brutto, ma la passione per Terry è rimasta intatta. I sotterfugi pure: cosa non ho fatto per levarmi di torno le bimbe e mandarle a letto presto, così da stare in pace a godermi il mio ultimo acquisto letterario.

E insomma, io sono molto contento e felice di aver letto un altro libro di Irvine Welsh e vorrei che me ne scrivesse uno alla settimana. Con Terry Lawson, ça va sans dire, ma se si stufa di Terry mi vanno bene anche Renton, Sick Boy, oppure Secondo Premio, oppure ancora Spud... faccia come vuole lui, Irvine Welsh, io leggo ogni cosa. E Begbie! Accidenti, Begbie, un tomone tutto su Begbie, perché no?

Allora, come si fa a non apprezzare oltre ogni ragionevole modo il signor scrittore Irvine Welsh? Che in ogni sua pagina c'è una sciocchezza degna di essere raccontata, un dialogo meritevole di essere ascoltato, un soprannome buono a essere inciso ora e per sempre nel marmo della memoria. Sono molto contento. E anche un po' triste: da provincialotto quale sono mi verrebbe voglia di contattare la Pro Loco di Edimburgo, sezione di Leith, per chiedere se accettano uno scambio culturale. Ci potrebbero prestare Irvine Welsh, per qualche settimana, e in cambio noi forniamo, ma se li possono pure tenere per sempre, due o tre Scrittori a scelta tra Erri De Luca, Alessandro Baricco, Antonio Scurati, quell'altro che ha scritto un libro con i pappagalli in copertina, Isabella Santacroce, Michela Murgia, Francesco Piccolo, Maurizio Maggiani, quello di Latina con la sciarpetta rossa, la moglie del figlio di Sofri, Margaret Mazzantini, tutti gli scrittori sardi, Aldo Nove, e altri che non cito perché non ho voglia di cercarli.

Ultima cosa: leggete Welsh, se non l'avete già fatto. E firmate in calce a questo commento per la richiesta di scambio da inoltrare alla Pro Loco di Leith.
Profile Image for Laura.
624 reviews19 followers
January 16, 2020
Welsh writes in (and masters completely) the Scottish dialect. This makes for slow reading at times, especially at first, as I got used to the spelling, grammar, and word meanings. After about 100 pages, though, I started to feel that I could *hear* Juice Terry's Scottish brogue in my ear as I read, and it really brought him to life as a character.

Be warned that Welsh utilizes shock humor (think Howard Stern), and a few scenes literally made me shudder. Other parts were laugh out loud funny. Overall it was an interesting character study which examined the fundamental question--what makes life worth living? And, if we suddenly lose that thing we thought made life worth living, can we find something else worthwhile to live for? Given 3.5 stars or a rating of "Very Good". Recommended to those who aren't easily offended.
Profile Image for David.
Author 12 books148 followers
May 31, 2020
I hadn’t really thought I’d want a whole book centered on Juice Terry, but it turns out I did. It’s not my favorite Welsh book, but it’s far from my least favorite. I had a good time with it.
Profile Image for Paul.
2,784 reviews20 followers
April 16, 2024
Another hilarious outing in the ‘Trainspotting’ universe for anyone who is not easily offended. It manages to be very sad in places, too, without ever straying too far from the twisted humour.

The only reason I didn’t give this five stars is because the protagonist’s (and author’s?) obsession with penis size gets a bit wearing after a few hundred pages.

I’m serious about the ‘not easily offended’ thing, by the by. ‘Trigger warnings’ for sexual abuse, incest, necrophilia, severe violence, drug abuse, child abuse, grave desecration and probably a bunch of others. You need rhinoceros hide for this one, folks.
Profile Image for Stephen.
2,176 reviews464 followers
June 30, 2015
welsh returns with a funny dark comedy and filthy too but back on top form with a return to the streets of Edinburgh with terry Lawson and this book doesn't let you down. not for the faint hearted though as we follow terry through his exploits and his heart condition and worried about his decent ride.
Profile Image for Ryan.
1,181 reviews61 followers
June 12, 2024
Welsh's editor should sit him down and tell him, ‘Either start making an effort again or quit. Ken?’
Profile Image for David.
146 reviews34 followers
May 6, 2023
Be prepared to laugh out loud and be offended as we are taken on a filth filled romp through Edinburgh with well endowed taxi driving lothario “Juice” Lawson.
Profile Image for Randy.
95 reviews3 followers
November 26, 2016
Best Irvine Welsh book. I have read all the classics, but this was just next level. So polished and had all the Irvine Welsh elements that make his books great but in top form. Anybody that complains about this book not being good like old Welsh works is full of shit. In my opinion, his newer works are actually more fun and move along more quickly and the characters are much more fleshed out and enjoyable. My top Welsh books are as follows-
1. A Decent Ride
2. Skagboys
3. Maribou Stork Nightmares
4. Sex with Siamese Twins
5. Trainspotting
6. all the rest are a tie. Porno, Filth, Glue, etc
Profile Image for Julie.
239 reviews15 followers
June 9, 2015
Well, I'm biased.
And I genuinely missed Welsh's Scottish characters. Plus, the story is now so much easier to follow geographically - living in Edinburgh does make a huge difference in understanding places, people and downright hilarious situations.
It's the same Juice Terry you know and love (or love to hate, I'm not judging). And he somehow manages to get himself entangled in tales of love, crime, suicide, homicide, whiskey theft, golf and heart disease. I must admit it was indeed quite a decent ride.
Profile Image for Pat.
159 reviews1 follower
August 2, 2015
Sensational and hysterically funny return to his Edinburgh underworld that was so good in Trainspotting. With a cast of cameo's from Irvine's seminal book, A Decent Ride takes us through the trials and tribulations of Juice Terry and his shady friends. When a heart scare puts paid to Terry's shagging he has to resort to an unusual and sporty distraction.

Full of barry Edinburgh humour, american celebrity, whisky, death and scud movies this is more than a decent read.

If you liked Trainspotting then this is a must read.
Profile Image for Deanna.
191 reviews9 followers
February 20, 2016
What can I say about a whole novel basically devoted to Juice Terry Lawson? It was fun. I always enjoy Irvine Welsh when he sticks to what he does best working class Scotland. This is a funny book and love him out hate him it's easy to get sucked into Juice Terry's antitics and lose your. What can I say it's the spice of life.
Profile Image for Melanie Page.
Author 4 books89 followers
August 19, 2019
I have had a somewhat quiet literary love affair with Scotsman Irvine Welsh since 2004, when I first read his debut novel, Trainspotting, set in Edinburgh. If you’ve seen the movie of the same name, bravo; if you haven’t read the book, though, you are missing out of some of the most gawd-awful and disgusting moments you would think possible. But with Irvine Welsh, things can always get worse, more depraved, more disgusting. If the movies were absolutely true to the books, they couldn’t be released in theater. Welsh’s most recent novel, A Decent Ride, which takes readers back to Edinburgh, stars “Juice” Terry Lawson, cabbie, occasional drug delivery guy, occasional porn actor, and always-all-the-time sex maniac with a huge penis. Terry is told by doctors that his heart is under too much strain and that he cannot stress it, or he will die. This includes no sexual activity of any kind!

While the synopsis of the novel suggests this is Terry’s story, Jonty, too, plays a big role. Jonty is a dopey “slow” guy trying to get through life, happy with his McNuggets, painting houses, and girlfriend, Jinty. But then, Jinty takes too much cocaine in a pub bathroom, heads home to their apartment across the street, and promptly dies on the couch. I agonized over which was the case: Jonty is too stupid to know she��s dead, or he knows she’s dead and is pretending it’s not the case. There are many subplots in the novel that are not hard to remember, but keep the novel from getting one-track and predictable.

No matter where you turn in a Welsh novel, there are no good people. None. You simply look at the principles of the characters and find the ones that do less evil. For instance, Terry has fingers in ever shady part of society, but he doesn’t have sex with minors, he never pays for sex, he never forces women into sexual activity, and he (almost) always wears a condom on account of the AIDs epidemic of the 1980s (a topic Welsh covers in Trainspotting). Granted, he has four kids (at least four the government has pinned on him) from going “bareback” a few times, but if you imagine this guy who has sex with multiple women every day, it’s not so bad, right?! Your brain gets twisted by Welsh into thinking this makes Terry a good person.

Sometimes readers get a kick in the shins to remind them that Terry’s a bad guy, like the time he describes what lengths he would have gone to to abort those fetuses (it’s disgusting). He “tries” to connect to his kids when their moms yell at Terry. He takes the two youngest, Guillaume and the Ginger Bastard (he doesn’t even tell us this kid’s name), to see Up, the Disney film, and Terry is all complaints (and also fricken’ funny):
“Ya cunt, ah wis nearly fuckin greetin when the auld bastard wis talkin aboot ehs deid wife n how they wanted bairns n couldnae huv them! Ah felt like telling um, shoutin at the screen: take these two wee fuckers, cause ah’m n wantin thum! Popcorn, hoat dogs, ice cream, Twixes, the fuckin lot, the greedy wee cunts!”
Did I mention most of the book is written in dialect? No? I’ll get back to that. Basically, Welsh lets readers believe that some of the horrible things his characters do are normal--to a surprising extent even--but then brings us back by making us feel bad occasionally, often in situations involving children.

Jonty, due to his slow mentality, is a character you feel bad for the whole way through. He has standards, too: no drugs, especially “the devil’s poodir”; no doing bad things; and no making people feel bad. He’s so simple that you want things to go right for him. After Jinty is clearly (to the reader) dead, Jonty goes to the McDonald’s a lot. He thinks his McDonald’s is the best, and even tells a millionaire later on that the McDonalds’ in New York City can’t be nearly as good as his. As if anyone cares about the quality of a McDonald’s! When the fast food chain stops selling the “After Eight” McFlurry (a flavor not found in the U.S.), Jonty is upset. The lady at the counter tells him it was promotional food, to see if there is interest. Jonty wants to know how he can express his interest in having more, and the cashier doesn’t know. He wants to fill out a form or something to get his ice cream back. Meanwhile, I’m rooting for this simpleton, even though I know that interest is show in the number of people who bought the product while it was available. But, no Welsh character is a good person. Here are just a few of Jonty’s other activities:

● Bombing
● Necrophilia
● Incest (he’s not the only one in the book who does it)
● Grave exhuming (not legally, not the only one)
● Hiding a dead body

Irvine Welsh’s language gives the novel nuance and brings people to life. Fans everywhere wet themselves when Welsh sets his books in Edinburgh, possibly because it means we are guaranteed to read some dialect. But the voices aren’t all the same. Jonty, originally from the countryside, has a much more muddled-looking dialect than Terry, who is from the city. Sick Boy, a main character from Trainspotting who is a minor character in A Decent Ride, is from Scotland, but has lived in London for over a decade, so he speaks in a more standard English. American businessman Ronnie, who we’re basically told is a fictitious Donald Trump, speaks in standard English, but that doesn’t mean he’s the “correct” speaker. When he tells people where he is, it’s spelled “Edinboro,” which is exactly how I say it (and now I’m positive I say it wrong and stupidly).

Now, if you struggle in general with dialects, you’ll definitely feel frustrated with A Decent Ride. I know there are copies of Welsh’s books that come with a Scottish slang dictionary in the back, but my library copy of A Decent Ride does not. Here’s a test of whether or not you need a dictionary: “Ah ken how she feels cause studyin must be awfay hard. Like whin ah wis at the skill. Ah found it hard tae concentrate, n that’s whin a wis thaire!” Did you get that Jonty was thinking, I know how she feels because studying must be awfully hard. Like when I was at school. I found it hard to concentrate, and that’s when I was there!

The last thing, which I’m sure every reviewer will mention, is Welsh’s treatment of women. In A Decent Ride, you’ll find few women (despite all the sex) because they are prostitutes, cab riders with no names, Jinty (a prostitute who almost immediately dies), a couple of horrible mothers in minor roles, “Suicidal Sal” (a girl who’s going to kill herself but is cured by Terry’s giant penis), and fat Karen (also cured with penis). What does this mean? It reassures me that Welsh is a boys’ club sort of writer, making his immersive, hilarious, revolting novels my dirty secret.

Review originally published at TNBBC.
19 reviews1 follower
May 15, 2015
OK.

So, far this is one Irvine Welsh finer works..Sure I've read review "guardian" that say this is just dck jokes', and I'm sorry, that's all they saw. (It would be like criticizing NWA's AlBUM Straight outta compton ONLY because it uses the F word to much).
Sure there's a bit of incest, necrophelia,etc..

But the story is flawless, there are many little subplots which come in at different times, and makes the story much richer.
I finished it in 4 days.
And I'm not afraid to admit, the ending actually touched me emotionally a bit.

Needless to say, there is humour scattered everywhere here, (dark humour, but humor).

I highly recommend this one.
Profile Image for Kathy.
3,868 reviews290 followers
March 13, 2018
My keyboard is playing tricks. I was typing out what I thought was fair to say, but the GR goblins erased it. I was desperate to read something funny. Thus, A Decent Ride was tried.
I would be censored if I described just about anything that happens in this book. So, think outrageously crude and you'll be close.
This Edinburgh native is now calling Chicago, my home, his home. Wondering if he gives tutorials on how to read the crazy Scot Talk.
A truly memorable graveside tribute is given early in the book. Yes, I laughed. But...can a guilty laugh be counted as genuine entertainment?

Not for the faint of heart. Thank God mine is still working, but it was a close thing.
Profile Image for Dane Cobain.
Author 22 books322 followers
January 5, 2021
This book was a lot of fun for me because I got to go back and see Juice Terry Lawson, one of Welsh’s most iconic characters. We’re always in for a treat when Welsh is writing short fiction about his biggest characters and setting them in Scotland, and this is a pretty typical entry into his bibliography.

For me, that’s a good thing, and I’m pretty impressed with how consistently good Welsh is able to be. I also liked the fact that while this is a big old chunker of a book, the print isn’t particularly dense and so it was easy enough to read through and the writing itself was fantastic. That meant that it felt like a big accomplishment when I completed it, despite it only taking me a couple of days to get from start to finish.

I also noticed when I was looking up the details for this book that it was shortlisted for a comedy writing prize, and that seems appropriate to me. Some of Welsh’s books can be pretty hard going because of how dark and bleak they are, and while this one does still contain more than its fair share of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, it does have a lighter feeling to it that stops it from getting too dark.

I’d still call it dark comedy though, and it mostly focussed on some of the darker sides of humanity, revealing us in all of our awful glory. Welch has a knack for that, and so we shouldn’t be surprised by it. What is surprising, though, is how he manages to keep things so funny.

When I started reading this book, I was expecting it to be a collection of short stories, but that’s not really accurate. It’s more accurate to call it a novel that tells the fragmented stories of a bunch of different characters, allowing the story to wash over you instead of being a more straightforward, linear thing.

That won’t suit everyone because different readers like different types of books, but it was just the sort of thing that I was hoping for and Welsh did it well. It’s hard not to enjoy yourself when you’re reading something and the author has taken a few risks that have pulled off.

Plus I liked the whole Hurricane Bawbag thing, and it was interesting how there’s a running theme of the weather throughout it. It actually gave it a heightened sense of realism and left me feeling as though I was actually there. You could almost hear the thunder and the pattering of rain against the puddles, and I felt a lot of sympathy for the punters who waited out the storm in the pub. It was called Hurricane Bawbag for a reason, you know.
Profile Image for Ross Cumming.
736 reviews23 followers
May 21, 2015
"Juice Terry', Taxi Driver, Drug Dealer, Porno Star and big time Shagger is back for another adventure through the seamier side of Edinburgh's housing estates. This time he is in the employ of American TV reality star Ronnie Checker who is on the hunt for some rare Scottish whiskey, known as The Bowcullin Trinity. At the same time he is tasked with looking after the Liberty Leisure 'sauna' parlour for local crime boss 'The Poof' while he takes an enforced break in Spain. On top of this, one of the prostitutes from the 'sauna' parlour has gone missing and Terry is trying to track her down and all this is taking place while Hurricane Bawbag hits Scotland.
This novel is typical Welsh and is full of sex, mostly of the worst kind - pornography, incest and necrophilia to name but a few - drugs and alcohol. However its all done with a huge sense of humour and is incredibly funny and the worse the deed the funnier it gets. It's also full of some great characters 'Juice' himself, Wee Jonty McKay, Ronald Checker and the numerous 'bit part' players that pop up throughout the novel. They are mostly despicable but are all capable of showing some redeeming qualities.
Welsh is brilliant at satirising Scotland, its people and culture however he also captures the small mindedness and discrimination that is also prevalent within the country and does it with a great sense of fun and we can all recognise parts of our own thinking within the different characters. My favourite theme is where Government advice to the Scottish people is to take refuge in your local pub till the hurricane blows over and Scotland's smokers are deemed as heroes for having to go outside and smoke during the hurricane because of the smoking ban !!
This novel was released on my Birthday and I was given it as a present and was also given tickets to an Irvine Welsh reading which was extremely entertaining and also very funny and this helped add an extra dimension to my reading of the book.
Profile Image for Guy Portman.
Author 18 books317 followers
November 27, 2020
Terry ‘Juice’ Lawson is an Edinburgh taxi driver who moonlights as a porn actor and drug fixer. Since losing his virginity at the age of eleven, he has been obsessed with ‘gettin’ his hole’. Despite always having numerous women on the go, Terry has an insatiable appetite to find more. We follow his adventures. These entail a ‘hurricane’, a disappearance and dealings with a wealthy American associate, who is intent on getting his hands on a famous whisky trinity. Casting a shadow over everything is an issue that threatens to change Terry’s life forever.

This is a work of Transgressive Fiction with a hint of crime caper. Corkscrew-haired sex addict Terry makes for an effective protagonist, as despite being utterly amoral, he is likeable, raucous and hilarious. Although there is some sinister content entailing incest and necrophilia, this is one of Welsh’s lighter books. Its seediness, humour and bawdy Leith vernacular dialogue will appeal to many.

This reader is of the opinion that 'A Decent Ride' is one of the transgressive maestro’s best offerings.
Profile Image for Adam  McPhee.
1,527 reviews341 followers
July 24, 2016
"Ah've goat a bookcase wi some books Rab Birrell lends ays which ah nivir fuckin read but ah keep tae impress the student birds. Moby-Dick, Crime and Punishment, that sort ay shite. That Dostoyevsky cunt, ah tried tae read um but every fucker hud aboot five different names, n ah left the scheme tae git away fae aw that!"

Irvine Welsh novels ranked:

1. Skagboys
2. Trainspotting
3. Glue
4. Filth
5. Porno
6. A Decent Ride
7. The Blade Artist
8. The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins
9. Marabou Stork Nightmares
10. Crime
11. The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs

As for his short story collections, they all kind of meld together in my head. Reheated Cabbage and If You Liked School, You'll Love Work had interesting novellas, I think.
Profile Image for Fabio.
467 reviews56 followers
March 14, 2018
Du'palle (cit.)
Questo è il nomignolo affibbiato all'uragano che colpisce Edimburgo, dando il la alla narrazione. Purtroppo, può anche essere il commento alla presente opera di Welsh: il mio commento, visto che molti lo hanno apprezzato. Questa terza incursione nella vita di Terry Lawson, tassista, pornoattore, erotomane, spacciatore saltuario (e così via) è stata altamente insoddisfacente. Ora, non è il mio primo Welsh, dunque ero preparato a trovare i soliti ingredienti: sesso, alcool, fùtbal, violenza, degenerazioni varie, casi umani disperati. Ci sono, a iosa. Mancano giusto un paio di elementi presenti in altre opere dell'Autore (compresi i due precedenti capitoli Lawsoniani, Colla e Porno): il divertimento e la sensazione di sottoporsi a una temporanea immersione nella vita sregolata di personaggi vagamente (assai vagamente) plausibili, soprattutto per i legami che li univano. Qui siamo alla caricatura più estrema, all'eccesso gratuito. Trainspotting e Colla accompagnavano il lettore in una sorta di discesa dantesca nei circoli dell'Inferno moderno: disgustoso, divertente, scioccante. Questo sembra il remake made in USA, all'insegna del bigger, not better (c'è pure l'emulo di The Donald, a ben vedere).
Profile Image for Marti.
443 reviews19 followers
June 23, 2025
Actually 3.5 stars.

It is almost impossible to review this without spoilers because the litany of gross-out scenes is the surprise. It almost makes you wonder if he got some of this stuff from news stories because it seems too fantastical to have been made up. And yes, Irvine Welsh is always raunchy but this one is over the top.

However, I did find the general story to be laugh out loud funny. I first discovered "Juice Terry" in an earlier novel, Glue. That one also started slow, but had me laughing hysterically at the end. And I learned that there really was a hurricane "Bawbag" that hit Scotland in December of 2011. I did not think that was possible (especially in December). Bawbag is the backdrop to much of the story.

Another major plot point revolves around Ronnie Decker, an American businessman/reality star who comes to Edingburh to buy a rare bottle of scotch. Decker is clearly modeled after Donald Trump (if "The Donald" was from New Orleans and drank alcohol). Decker hooks up with "Juice Terry" when he gets in his taxi at the airport and reallizes he needs a local fixer and driver.

It's a convoluted story involving many different sub-plots that leaves me wondering, "what in the world is wrong with Scotland?" I think it really does paint an accurate portrait of the city and its people [what little I know is confined to bios about Glaswegians like Jesus and Mary Chain, Primal Scream, and of course, Trainspotting]. It is easy to see why this was not available in America even as an eBook. For some bizarre reason, my BN only sold it in German which is strange because the original language is English [barely]. However, if you are a fan of Welsh, you will probably end up liking it, even if it is no Trainspotting.
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