The blurb is far more exciting than the book. Let’s begin there.
When the publisher offered DESERT GOD up for review I got all excited because it’s ancient Egypt and it goes to all these pretty, ancient places and Wilbur Smith is supposed to be fantasmagorical when it comes to writing historical fiction. Nabbed that one real quick. My hopes were rather dashed as I started reading.
What a slog this book was. To the point of being painful. I almost gave up on it. ALMOST. I’ve come this far in my year without DNFs. I wasn’t going to end it here. And I didn’t. But I really, REALLY wanted to.
The POV the story is told in is from Taita, a slave but not really who made a slew of appearances in past books, I’m assuming, based on introduction mentions and time dropping within the story itself but that was pretty irrelevant. I didn’t feel lost with the character. I just wanted to punch him in the throat. Taita is amazing at everything. He doesn’t even have to do whatever it is he’s good at. He’ll just automatically be perfect. Just ask him. He’ll tell you all about it. And then he’ll tell you he’s not a snob but his actions will go on to contradict that very statement. And then he’ll just go back to telling you how awesome he is at something, whether it’s warfare, shooting arrows, languages, games, taking a shit, whatever. No matter how good you think you are at something, Taita is better at it and he will make sure you know it.
This . . . is not an appealing character. At all. I didn’t give two flying fucks about anything this man did. I didn’t care about his missing dong (which he came back to. A LOT.) or his princesses (I’ll get to those pieces of work in a second) or whatever battles he was going in to or the political intrigue he had to perform. I DIDN’T CARE. Because when it’s coming out of such a pedantic mouth as that, how could I? I’m rolling my eyes too much to read the words on the page. So when I don’t give a damn about anything that’s going on, you can imagine how hard it was to actually read a 400+ page book.
And the princesses. What simpering, spoiled little quims. I wanted to drown them. Thoroughly. When they finally got sent off to be married to King Minos I was glad because that meant I never had to deal with their page presences again. Such insipid, worthless characters that only proved to be able to manipulate Taita and get whatever the hell it was they wanted. Their initial appearances on the page, regardless of scene, was always squealing toward Taita demanding gifts, or complaining that they weren’t getting something their way, or pitying themselves. Seriously, could this book have any more worthless characters in it? IS THAT POSSIBLE?
Any other secondary character was clouded through Taita’s eyes and since he never took care to get to know any of them (Zaras or Hui or Toran) they were mere stick figures in his view, blocking his sights from his princesses or whatever end he needed to get to. So I could say the secondary characters could have had potential but they were just outlines in Taita’s story. Loxias seemed kind of neat. She was a well-read and intelligent Greek girl, I think, that ended up being a tutor to the princesses. She had moments of defiance in her but her true personality was blocked by Taita’s big head so it’s really hard to tell.
The setting could have been phenomenal and I saw peeks of it through heavy-handed naval-gazing but it was all about Taita and his loquacious, head-up-rectum attitude about life that just completely drowned everything out. I could see the places being described in my head but they were pale images because Taita’s high falutin, LOOK HOW AWESOME I AM demeanor just washed everything out.
I’ll stick to Pete Hamill for my historical fiction of this caliber. It’s actually relatable and doesn’t think so highly of itself. He’ll give me a good story, relatable characters and a vivid setting. Wilbur Smith? Pass. I won’t be reading any of his other books if this is any indicator of what I’d be getting.
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