Give Sorrow Words: Maryse Holder's Letters From Mexico

by Maryse Holder, Selma Yampolsky, Edith Jones

1979

302 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1979

Reviews

[knig · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sourced: http://www.beaumonde.net/romancebooks...

Film: http://tiff.net/CANADIANFILMENCYCLOPE...

The only reference I can find on Holder:

http://www.eai.org/kinetic/ch2/womens...

The difference between Holder, and say, the psychobiographical exposition of Chris Kraus and/or the fictional exegis of Kathy Acker or Judith Rossner’s ‘Looking for Mr Goodbarr’ : well. The similarities first. All written by neurotic nymphomaniacs in the compact time frame of mid 1970s to mid 1980s at the apex of women’s lib and at the tail end of Greer’s ‘Eunuch’, a test tube triumph of Tuckman’s ‘Form Storm Norm Perform ‘ aegis of pin up feminist emancipation. (Others scriptors of that era apply. When someone pays me for a doctorate post mortem on feminist jihadism, I’ll supply the small print. ) The difference though, and where ‘the rub’ lies, is that whereas the morass of shock-aholic literary ambulance chasers prior (and post) Holder had capitalised a possible sordid one night stand and a vomit chaser into a tall tale, Holder actually, really, truly, sincerely lived the poete maudit epiphany: her posthumous publication was unintentional and accidental. At no point did this woman (mysterious, unknown), need to spin a yarn of fiction for anyone’s approbation. How do we even know of her?

What do we even know of her?

I am consumed by curiosity. But there is nothing. Only her university paper on feminist film above, and ‘Give Sorrow Words’, which is. Is. Is what it is, a bunch of letters this incredibly erudite ex NYC college professor wrote to her friend (ex partner?)Edith, whilst she (Holder, that is), fucked young men, drank, smoked, danced, ate, vomited, continuously aborted, and ultimately had her head smashed in in Mexico City in 1977 at the age of 36.

Or, in other words, whilst everyone else was a fringe player on the Scene, Maryse Holder was the real McCoy.

This is something indeed. Inevitably fiction tends to be the parlay of voyeurs: e.g the execratable Vollman who ‘observed’ the underbelly, or Acker the half assed stripper for a night or Hand who who never ever evers. When Stockett penned ‘The help’, she was lambasted for being a ‘whitey’ who dares the black troubles. Yet if we ever get a veteran, say Magnanti (of belle du joeur fame), raconteuring, commercial syrup smears the narrative underlay til no one knows whats what. But Holder: with no publisher to flank her on, she revves. A letter to a friend, is thus a memento mori, a testimony of ubiquitous paroxysm, a title deed to licentiousness, a memoir of the vida loca.
What was Maryse doing in Mexico anyway? Why couldn’t she just barfly it like Theresa Dunn in NYC and get her head bashed in on her home turf? This part is less of a mystery, albeit it no less sad. At age 33 she is ‘terminated’ as a university lecturer, so there is the (lack) of money on one hand to subsidise a NYC bar hopping expedition. Also, she did seem to need an extra helping hand roping in ‘the talent’, beyond what a pint of lager can give. Her friends describe her as short, obese, with enormous hands and feet, and a facial disfigurement. Add on top some residual middle class inhibitions of the sort where one doesn’t shit in one’s own back yard, coupled with a genuine desire to somehow shed the ugly duckling plumage and morph into a swan, and Mexico begins to look like a winner. There, she has a fair chance at the gigolos who leach on to the expat scene: the latter comprised of a mixture of college west coast hippies and failed, discordant, unsettled wanderers (e.g. as per Paul Bowles’ the Sheltering Sky). Its only when Maryse starts losing ‘perspective’ buoyed by the purchasing power of the greenback and the generally deferential courtship of poor locals that she runs into trouble: breaking away from the safe haven of Acapulco to slut and prostitute in search of true love in the rather more seedy Mexico City, away from the expat community, she reaches in over her head. Her eloquent, gritty, passionate letters trail this journey a la ‘Nights of Cabiria’ with horrifying aplomb until the very end, when desiccated by alcohol and dope abuse, she succumbs to a Goodbarrean fate in a dinghy alley off a slum neighbourhood in Mexico City.

[C.A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of letters is unlike any book of letters you are ever going to read. Maryse Holder left her cushy job teaching philosophy in NYC to live a life she wanted, on her terms, outside respectability for any culture's margins. Her ex-girlfriend, and good friend Edith Jones asked Maryse to write her letters every day with ALL THE DETAILS of her new life. And she did write, from Mexico with the fever pitch only those who self actualize can understand. Maryse dives straight into a life of utter decadence.

Her language is beautiful, and her years and years of reading and studying philosophy gives her HER OWN, which lives brilliantly in this book. And while she is able to dive into the pool of decadence, she sees herself in full color and is tormented almost daily. The title of the book is where the journey takes us, ignited from Shakespeare:

Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
--Macbeth

(there's also AN EXCELLENT film based on this book, directed by, and script written by, and also STARRING the amazing Jackie Burroughs! It's called A WINTER TAN, but read the book first. Or read the book second. Either way, make sure you watch A WINTER TAN, as Burroughs is a genius in her own right in giving us the most compelling lens on Holder)

Maryse Holder's short life was one of the biggest lives ever lived. She admits over and over the strength received from the women's movement back in the states. This book of letters was very controversial, especially among American feminists. That's why the introduction by Kate Millet is so important, making clear that this woman, while she may not have chosen her life to be as other women in the women's movement, chose to live HER life, with HER choices. Kate Millet's defense of the book is a beautiful introduction.

The sad news is that the book is out of print. You can either order it used, online, OR, order it through your local library. A lot of people FORGET that we have AN AMAZING library system in America which will borrow books from other libraries for you. Ask for the Interlibrary Loan Department, or whatever department in your library will order it for you if it's not on the shelf.

This book is worth the trouble of tracking down! I REFUSE to let anyone borrow my copy it's so rare.

Maryse Holder inspired me, continues to inspire me so much that I dedicated my book Deviant Propulsion to her. She is a true deviant propelling our culture forward!

CAConrad
http://CAConrad.blogspot.com

[A.K.]

On first scanning, I thought this was a soft-focus, gringa poetess fucks animal-beautiful colored boys piece of soul-tourism trash but no, no, no

Maryse Holder was an actual woman, she was actually murdered, presumably by one of the men or boys she so nihilistically and knowingly flung herself onto like an erotic funeral pyre. These are the letters written to her ex-girl back home, Edith, brimming over with sex and violence and intellect. Kate Millett intros her as "a sister, an adventuress, a madwoman, daring as an early Henry Miller, self-destructive as Janis, the voice of Genet in a woman, speaking the purest American." An apt handle, as Millett is wont to offer.

[Angelika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Could I relate to the character? Not really. Was it painful to read at times? Yes, very much so! But not because of the writing, on the contrary. The writing was very skillful, original, absolutely daring, honest to the core. Maryse Holder is a narrator who doesn't hold back in any way, neither when it comes to philosophical reflections on the matters of love and life, nor when it comes to exposing all of her insecurities/skewed perceptions ("I'm so ugly! I'm fat - 115 pound! - I'm fit and beauitful!!) that are very much tied to her being a woman defining herself to a large extent by the attention that she gets from (younger) men.
Maryse Holder is one of the most contradictory, erratic "characters" ever to grace the pages of a book, which is mainly due to her being a very educated, intelligent, extremely aware human being that acts completely irrationally (there is always some logic there, but the setting is wrong) because of what she considers to be the goal in (her) life: to experience it all, love and longing, even at the expense of her sanity, her well-being. On many occasions I wanted to shout at her: Get a grip!! Leave Mexico!! Stop harbouring this strange obsession with younger Mexican men! Stop seeing yourself as ugly and old! You're just 36!! ( But the thing is: She knows it all! She knows how bad this life style is for her, and she still maintains it. It is pretty obvious that drugs, alcohol and medication contribute a lot to her behaviour, her eventual downfall, her not being able to get out of that horrible situation. It's a pretty sad story and I only have sympathy for her. I hope she found some peace and contentment in death.

[didi · Rating 5 out of 5]

And all I wanted was the dark. It is a kind of heroism—guts—I took and take this risk. Three, unintended—perhaps the state that drug itself gives you— of confidence. Four—it makes weirdness (older women) natural.

[Stefan Koepeknie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is truly unique.

[Jane Juliette Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

As it happened to many of my precious books I have lent to "very reliable" people, I have never received my German paperback edition of "Give Sorrow Words"- with the hideous German title "Ich Atme mit dem Herzen" ("I Breath With My Heart" - yuk) - back; and this time it really hurts. Holder's story, as it is revealed in her letters from Mexico, hurts. These letters are so brilliantly, brilliantly written and so naked in its truth that I consider this book a masterpiece. I am unconsolable about Maryse Holder's life (I come from Germany and now, while writing this review, I witness the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz and seeing these pictures I am again and again absolutely horrified by the Shoah and its effect on many generations), I am unconsolable about a life so scarred and negligently violated, and I am heartbroken about her sudden death. May her torn soul rest in peace.

Catherine A. MacKinnon mentions Holder in 'Sexuality, Pornography, and Method: "Pleasure under Patriarchy",: 'One of the most compelling accounts of active victim behavior is provided in "Give Sorrow
Words". Holder wrote a woman friend of her daily frantic, and always failing pursuit of men, sex, beauty, and feeling good about herself. "Fuck, fucking, will feel self-respect" (p.89). She was murdered soon after by an unknown assailant.'

But while facing collossal personal failure and fighting off tragedy by dancing and fucking, Holder manages to be still funny and rather ruthless in her descriptions, like her brief encounter with a reefer-crazed socialite, who makes her really stoned in her fancy Acapulco penthouse - a wonderful trip. This is the Maryse Holder I fell in love with and the Maryse Holder I want to remember - happy and inhaling.

P.S.: Tequila contains Mescaline . . .an utterly underrated psychedelic.

[Kallie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is phenomenal, in my opinion. Holder's writing blazes, even when she takes the reader down to her lower depths (at which times I felt tortured right along with her). What this brings up for me: how sad that our societies, that nearly all of us, judge people by their looks. I don't know if Maryse Holder was 'ugly' as she says; in at least one photo she looks very attractive, at least from a certain angle. I can imagine how being a woman with a half-paralyzed face, especially a complex, intelligent woman, made getting through every day very difficult, a gauntlet of mirrors. The odd thing is that though I have faced no such trials, I know the feeling because all women are judged on their looks and the gender war game-playing is all too familiar, though I would say it is not inevitable if you choose not to play and prefer like-minded people. Maryse Holder was determined to win that game and find love where there was none, and in that way redeem her suffering. Of course, that is not what happened . . .

[Raymond Larrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great lost masterpiece of feminist erotica, now finally available in ebook format. As timely now as ever, perhaps more so.

[Rhonda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow I have never read anything quite like it...