Fake Missed Connections

by Brett Fletcher Lauer

Your wife is having an affair with my husband. It has caused some trouble in my marriage and I thought you should know.

One phone call in December 2005 begins the compelling, unpredictable story of Fake Missed Connections. A child of divorce with an already fragile sense of trust, Lauer unravels at the betrayal, begins divorce proceedings, and moves back to Brooklyn where he spends too much time alone, fixated on the idea that a murderer from 1898 might be haunting his apartment. Eventually, as he starts to peruse online dating profiles, he becomes obsessed with “missed connections” precisely because they provide what online dating doesn’t: a story.

He begins writing phony missed connections to post on Craigslist and, though he feels a stab of guilt when he posts them, he is hopelessly intrigued by the responses he receives. Real documents illuminate Brett’s dating adventures, from love (and hate) letters and instant message conversations to Brett’s online dating profile and wedding announcement. Fake Missed Connections is an unconventional yet deeply moving look at the modern search for love, the ways in which we fail to communicate, and the quest for a genuine moment of connection.

Genres: Memoir

225 pages, Hardcover

First published January 12, 2016

About the author

Brett Fletcher Lauer is the deputy director of the Poetry Society of America and the poetry editor of A Public Space, and the author of memoir Fake Missed Connections: Divorce, Online Dating, and Other Failures, and the poetry collection A Hotel In Belgium. In addition to co-editing several anthologies, including Please Excuse this Poem: 100 News Poets for the Next Generation and Isn’t It Romantic: 100 Love Poems by Younger American Poets, he is the poetry co-chair for the Brooklyn Book Festival.

Reviews

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this better when I started reading and thought it was a novel. When I realized it's a memoir, and that needy, vengeful, self-absorbed protagonist is actually the writer himself--well, not so much.

[Tracy Wilkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was hard to initially get into this book because Brett Fletcher Lauer’s story starts off very depressing. Obviously it picks up if I read this book on one day. I hope he writes a sequel. Wonder what the title will be?

[Cadaverine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Admittedly I really liked this. The ending was surprisingly impactful and made me happy -- hopeful and what I consider a happy ending, despite the bulk of events being depressing and invoking a feeling of isolation and hopelessness.

[Chr*s Browning · Rating 2 out of 5]

While some of the sentiments are nice, everyone in this writes and acts insufferably. Bargain bin Rob Sheffield.

[Laura.125Pages · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on [www.125pages.com]

I had such high hopes for Fake Missed Connections, but sadly they were not met. In the synopsis it states Brett Fletcher Lauer begins to write fake missed connections on Craigslist following his divorce, so I expected the book to be mainly the missed connections. What he wrote, the crazy responses and such. I expected funny and dark. Instead I read a memoir that was 70% dwelling on the past and sadness, 10% about Lauer's addiction, 10% straight up whining and 10% personals, missed connections and responses. I think I would have liked Fake Missed Connections more if it had a different title or synopsis. I was expecting something totally different and as I was reading I kept looking for the Craigslist ads and the sharp biting humor I believed was coming. If I had know this was to be primarily about the hurt Lauer felt towards his mother and wife I would have read it differently. I like memoirs and enjoy the dark sad ones when I know that that is what's coming. This should have been marketed as an addiction/family dysfunction memoir instead of a personals gone wrong story. Now on the positive side Lauer had a good writing style. I enjoyed his phrasing and pacing, and he had great introspection. Since I had such high expectations for what this book would be I was disappointed. This is a great example of how a synopsis and title can truly affect the reading process.

Favorite lines - There are no adequate similes or metaphors for addiction. There is no setting the broken bones back in place. And if there was, they wouldn’t heal properly. The bones, forever injured, would develop a click in anticipation of dramatic changes in weather. With addiction, you simply know it when you feel it, when you admit it to yourself, and then, day by day, admit it to others in your life. Everything else is just an approximation…

 Have you read Fake Missed Connections, or added it to your TBR?

[Jeannette · Rating 3 out of 5]

In compliance with FTC guidelines, I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

This book wasn't quite what I expected but I was intrigued by the idea of someone posting fake missed connections on Craigslist. The journey through the book is sometimes entertaining and sometimes tedious. A line in the book states, "It was middle school all over again.," which is exactly how I would describe this book.

I am sure that this book has merit for those who want an experience that goes through an entire cycle of emotions.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

An extraordinarily written book about a not so extraordinary time in a person's life. Brett was vulnerable and tore it open like a wound. I cannot say I loved this book but it was at times mildly entertaining. Not light and heart warming as I expected but never less an OK read.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well-written, but not what I thought I what I was getting when I bought this book. I felt sorry for the author throughout most of the book. Most of all, I resolved never ever to date again. No judgment to those who do, but yikes.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was gifted this book. I was expecting it to be funny and light. Not at all! Dark and emotional. A few entertaining parts about online dating.

Loved the writing. Glad to have read it!

[Booktart · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author annoyed me a bit but I found his descriptions of online dating entertaining and insightful especially for their glimpses into the male psyche. Enjoyed the writing as well.

[Douglas · Rating 1 out of 5]

I disliked this so much, I switched to a book about death to cheer me up.

[Debs · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I should have stopped reading this book after ten pages.

I didn't.