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Frankly Kellie: Becoming a Woman in a Man’s World
Exploring the highs and lows of an esteemed career in professional boxing, Frank's autobiography is truly enthralling and packed with wonderful insight and anecdotes about himself and the who's who of the boxing fraternity. But this is a story with another dimension - an identity kept secret for decades. With honesty and integrity, this is the story of how Frank Maloney overcame his inner turmoil to stop living as Frank and become Kellie. Insightful and astute, Kellie talks openly about the years of anguish and torment, recounting extracts from her diary and explaining in unflinching detail the emotional rollercoaster she endured over the years, from childhood through to telling loved ones the truth. With humour and humility this book takes the reader on a journey through the transgender process - the physicality and the emotion - and celebrates the life of an incredible individual.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 25, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
September 2, 2015
When Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender in April 2015, it was a shocking transition for many. As Bruce, she had been an Olympic athlete, a gold medal winner, and a world record holder – a veritable man’s man who had even gone onto become a successful race car driver. Really, the only things lacking from her story were football and boxing to make that transition truly shocking.
Enter Kellie Maloney and her own story – one that, for many, represents an even more shocking transition. Kellie’s story isn’t just one that began with football before moving into boxing, but one that saw Kellie rub shoulders with the like of Don King while managing Lennox Lewis to the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship of the World. Even if more women have entered the world of professional boxing in the last decade, it’s still a sport that’s traditionally been viewed as the epitome of masculine posturing.
The opening chapter to Kellie’s story is one that strips her bear and lays her emotions upon the page. She talks of pacing her small holiday chalet in Ilfracombe, anxiously waiting for her story to come out in the Sunday Mirror, and wondering what the world’s reaction will be. It’s day of extreme anxiety, but also one of unbridled joy at the freedom to do away with the pretence and discard the illusion that was Frank Maloney.
From there, Kellie takes us back to the beginning, to the life of a 5 year-old boy who lives as a girl inside his dreams. Too young to analyse it or understand what it all means, that young boy was fascinated with the girls around him, studying the way they dressed, talked, and acted. Looking back, with the wisdom of her experiences, Kellie is able to see that she was subconsciously trying to learn from the girls around her.
It’s her fascination with a cupboard full of sequined dresses that first highlighted the dilemma inside her. She paints a heartbreaking picture of a 12 year-old boy who takes such happiness from wrapping himself in the glamor of women’s clothes, knowing all along that being a boy just didn’t seem right. It was reading the outing of April Ashley as a transsexual that first opened her eyes to what it all meant, introducing her to someone with whom she could identify. Unfortunately, it also introduced her to the negative treatment April received, being regarded as a freak by many.
Faced with such fear and prejudice, in a time when there really was no support mechanism for a young transsexual, Kellie did what she felt she had do to survive and began manufacturing a male identity. It wasn’t all fakery and illusion, as she did have a sincere enjoyment for thing like football and boxing, but it did mean supressing a very large part of herself to maintain the overall illusion.
As we walk through Kellie’s life, experiencing it alongside her, it’s hard not to see it in terms of unending conflicts. Unable to resolve the conflict within herself, she sought out conflict within the ring. Unable to talk to anybody about that internal conflict, she unconsciously fed deeper, more hurtful conflicts with the women in her life. Trying to maintain the conflict of privately exploring her feminine side while publicly denying it, she repeatedly came into conflict with herself, purging, regretting, and even contemplating suicide.
There are so many opportunities where, if society had provided her with the tools or the acceptance to come out, you can see how different Kellie’s life might have been. More than once she reaches a point where the truth is on her lips, but where she can’t allow it to escape. It’s almost tragic the lengths to which she goes to outrun the woman inside, even if we’ve all felt it, and all had at least a taste of that struggle.
Maybe it was the culture of the time, maybe it was the world in which she lived, or maybe it was just a natural outcome of trying so desperately to keep it all under control, but when Kellie had her breakdowns, they were often violent and extreme. More than once she shares stories of violent outbursts that scared her wife as much as her kids, leaving her with additional layers of crippling guilt. What adds to the tragedy of it all is the fact that it’s guilt over how she’s hurt those around her that weighs heaviest upon her, fuelling her anger and depression even more than her gender issues.
Ultimately, however, it’s one of those suicide attempts that brings her closest to Emma, the daughter from whom she’d been estranged for a decade. It’s that bond between parent and daughter that allows the first cracks in Kellie’s façade to form, providing her with an outlet for confession. It’s not long after that she comes out to her mother, finding a second source of comfort and support for the years to come, with the two women she loved most in the world promising to be there for her.
The last part of Kellie’s story is, perhaps, the most difficult. Having come to terms with who she was, and having made the difficult decision to do away with that Frank illusion, she still must face the fear of coming out time and time again – with friends, family, colleagues, and the public. Each time the circle of those whom Kellie knows widens, it also contracts a little with people who choose to remove themselves from her life. Watching her come out to Sophie and Libby, her two younger daughters, is enough to bring tears to the eyes of even the most jaded reader, but she deserves full credit for not glossing over such details.
Ultimately, of course, no matter how hard she tried to keep the secret of her transition from the public, the press twice managed to sniff it out and came close to exposing it. After dodging a bullet twice, Kellie decides to go the professional route, hire a PR firm, and ensure that her public exposure is on her terms. It’s a bold move, but one that ensures the public’s first sight of Kellie is through a high quality glamorous shot. Part of that is, admittedly, vanity on her part, but part of it is also wanting to set the stage for a positive, proactive conversation that benefits the entire community, rather than a defensive attempt at damage control.
While Kellie’s story may not get the press that Caitlyn’s did, there’s no question that it’s just as dramatic, or just as important that she has shared it so publicly. By coming out on her own terms, she gets to be an April Ashley for the next generation, but without the baggage of that earlier time.
Originally reviewed for Frock Magazine
Enter Kellie Maloney and her own story – one that, for many, represents an even more shocking transition. Kellie’s story isn’t just one that began with football before moving into boxing, but one that saw Kellie rub shoulders with the like of Don King while managing Lennox Lewis to the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship of the World. Even if more women have entered the world of professional boxing in the last decade, it’s still a sport that’s traditionally been viewed as the epitome of masculine posturing.
The opening chapter to Kellie’s story is one that strips her bear and lays her emotions upon the page. She talks of pacing her small holiday chalet in Ilfracombe, anxiously waiting for her story to come out in the Sunday Mirror, and wondering what the world’s reaction will be. It’s day of extreme anxiety, but also one of unbridled joy at the freedom to do away with the pretence and discard the illusion that was Frank Maloney.
From there, Kellie takes us back to the beginning, to the life of a 5 year-old boy who lives as a girl inside his dreams. Too young to analyse it or understand what it all means, that young boy was fascinated with the girls around him, studying the way they dressed, talked, and acted. Looking back, with the wisdom of her experiences, Kellie is able to see that she was subconsciously trying to learn from the girls around her.
It’s her fascination with a cupboard full of sequined dresses that first highlighted the dilemma inside her. She paints a heartbreaking picture of a 12 year-old boy who takes such happiness from wrapping himself in the glamor of women’s clothes, knowing all along that being a boy just didn’t seem right. It was reading the outing of April Ashley as a transsexual that first opened her eyes to what it all meant, introducing her to someone with whom she could identify. Unfortunately, it also introduced her to the negative treatment April received, being regarded as a freak by many.
Faced with such fear and prejudice, in a time when there really was no support mechanism for a young transsexual, Kellie did what she felt she had do to survive and began manufacturing a male identity. It wasn’t all fakery and illusion, as she did have a sincere enjoyment for thing like football and boxing, but it did mean supressing a very large part of herself to maintain the overall illusion.
As we walk through Kellie’s life, experiencing it alongside her, it’s hard not to see it in terms of unending conflicts. Unable to resolve the conflict within herself, she sought out conflict within the ring. Unable to talk to anybody about that internal conflict, she unconsciously fed deeper, more hurtful conflicts with the women in her life. Trying to maintain the conflict of privately exploring her feminine side while publicly denying it, she repeatedly came into conflict with herself, purging, regretting, and even contemplating suicide.
There are so many opportunities where, if society had provided her with the tools or the acceptance to come out, you can see how different Kellie’s life might have been. More than once she reaches a point where the truth is on her lips, but where she can’t allow it to escape. It’s almost tragic the lengths to which she goes to outrun the woman inside, even if we’ve all felt it, and all had at least a taste of that struggle.
Maybe it was the culture of the time, maybe it was the world in which she lived, or maybe it was just a natural outcome of trying so desperately to keep it all under control, but when Kellie had her breakdowns, they were often violent and extreme. More than once she shares stories of violent outbursts that scared her wife as much as her kids, leaving her with additional layers of crippling guilt. What adds to the tragedy of it all is the fact that it’s guilt over how she’s hurt those around her that weighs heaviest upon her, fuelling her anger and depression even more than her gender issues.
Ultimately, however, it’s one of those suicide attempts that brings her closest to Emma, the daughter from whom she’d been estranged for a decade. It’s that bond between parent and daughter that allows the first cracks in Kellie’s façade to form, providing her with an outlet for confession. It’s not long after that she comes out to her mother, finding a second source of comfort and support for the years to come, with the two women she loved most in the world promising to be there for her.
The last part of Kellie’s story is, perhaps, the most difficult. Having come to terms with who she was, and having made the difficult decision to do away with that Frank illusion, she still must face the fear of coming out time and time again – with friends, family, colleagues, and the public. Each time the circle of those whom Kellie knows widens, it also contracts a little with people who choose to remove themselves from her life. Watching her come out to Sophie and Libby, her two younger daughters, is enough to bring tears to the eyes of even the most jaded reader, but she deserves full credit for not glossing over such details.
Ultimately, of course, no matter how hard she tried to keep the secret of her transition from the public, the press twice managed to sniff it out and came close to exposing it. After dodging a bullet twice, Kellie decides to go the professional route, hire a PR firm, and ensure that her public exposure is on her terms. It’s a bold move, but one that ensures the public’s first sight of Kellie is through a high quality glamorous shot. Part of that is, admittedly, vanity on her part, but part of it is also wanting to set the stage for a positive, proactive conversation that benefits the entire community, rather than a defensive attempt at damage control.
While Kellie’s story may not get the press that Caitlyn’s did, there’s no question that it’s just as dramatic, or just as important that she has shared it so publicly. By coming out on her own terms, she gets to be an April Ashley for the next generation, but without the baggage of that earlier time.
Originally reviewed for Frock Magazine
October 6, 2020
I found this book quite a good read. I remember Frankie from the boxing world and with a lot of transgender women, Kellie really struggled with her feelings and needs in a very in unaccepting world. I have experience in this as I know a few women who went through much the same and the book really illustrated to me just how awful it is for them. Fortunately for Kellie, she at least had the means to aid her transformation, but the mental struggles and dealing with family and friends are very much the same. I do think I she could have used the opportunity here to really try and help those in a similar circumstance, but this is her personal story so maybe she felt she couldn't or shouldn't do that. These women should be applauded rather than vilified and I think that reading this book will at least give some insight into what is a very taboo subject still.
April 30, 2016
Maloney writes really well and made we want to keep reading to find out what happened next. A fascinating insight into the life of a transgender person.
Beware tough, it has a strange ending. Not strange in what happened but strange in the way it was written. I went to turn the page but there was nothing more. It's as if a final chapter had been left out.
Regardless, a good read.
Beware tough, it has a strange ending. Not strange in what happened but strange in the way it was written. I went to turn the page but there was nothing more. It's as if a final chapter had been left out.
Regardless, a good read.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews