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The Way You Are
By the time he reaches college, Robert is an expert at hiding his feelings—with a few side effects. If he has a little attraction towards boys now and again, he can bury it with a candy bar and go on living the life his parents want for him. But he never expected to meet someone who'd like him just as he was, flaws and all. Now his emotional armor has stopped working and he'll be forced to decide which life he wants for himself; a difficult choice when both paths involve loss and love.
141 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 24, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
January 7, 2016
Hot damn, would you please take a look at that cover?! Two guys and no perfect six pack in sight! Revolution!
Seriously though, I wanted to have this the moment I laid eyes on it. Because c'mon! When was the last time you've seen an overweight character on a romance book that didn't include the fat, unhappy guy going on a revolutionary diet, loosing 200 pounds and THEN finding their HEA? I'm almost tempted to say never. Also, don't let the cheerful, light cover fool you. This is not a low-angst, happy-go-lucky book, and the things the MCs are dealing with are not your standard college guys/experimentation/coming out MM recipe. Sometimes it seems like a different cake altogether.
In this book, we get to meet Robert who, at the tender age of 13, realized that he's gay but can't be due to his very opressive, conservative family. His coping mechanism became eating. His weight became his armor. If no one wants to touch him, there is no reason for him to think or talk about attraction at all. Nobody wants him, so he doesn't have to face wanting someone in return. Which works out for him until he meets his new roommate at college. Out and proud Pete is pretty and smart, and (unfortunately) attracted to Robert from the get-go. What to do when the life you carefully constructed around yourself suddenly doesn't fit anymore?
There are several things that could have gone wrong with this, but made me happy when they didn't. Start with Pete. His attraction to Robert could have gone downhill fast if it would have been portrayed as some kind of kink. Too often fat-shaming occurs in the context of "No normal person would love you, only the very kinky ones with a serious fetish." So I was very happy with Pete being attracted to Robert for various reasons, and while he does have a thing for "big guys", he never made me cringe or shudder for making Robert (or me) feel dirty in any way. It was not attraction DESPITE the weight, nor was it BECAUSE OF it. Kudos to the author for finding the perfect way and tone here.
Secondly, I was afraid that somehow the story would have an undertone of... pity, maybe? Or at least the notion that overweight people are all struggling with some internal crisis and that binge-eating is their way of dealing. It could have been one of those stories where overeating was the only reason for the weight of the MC, and the overeating was the only reason for the MC to have problems in the first place, and so on and on. I didn't feel that way at all here. There is no denying that overeating was one of Roberts coping mechanisms and his armor. But. That was not all of it. His weight was not his "main problem", nor would he become magically thin and trim and fit as soon as he started to deal with his issues. He's a big guy, he will always be a big guy. But he can be a healthy, sport-y, happy big guys. His overeating is a problem, binge-eating sweets until he's physically ill is a problem. But it's not all it is, and not once did I have the feeling that it was somehow meant as a generalization á la "All overweight people eat too much because they have mental problems." Kudos. Seriously. All the kudos!
Also, how awesome was it for Robert to find love without changing his complete lifestyle, loose 200 pounds, start running marathons and becoming a sports model?! I have no words for how happy I this made me. Because hot damn.
The only thing I struggled with a little were Roberts parents, or better say the black-and-white feel of the families. Where Pete's family was absolutely 100% awesome on all levels, Robert's parents were somewhat cartoonish, evil Bible-thumpers incapable of loving their son the way he was, or even acknowledging him as a real person. I don't think they once looked at Robert and actually SAW him. So that was a little disappointing for me, a little too clichéd for my taste. But honestly? In the grand scheme of things, it didn't take away from my enjoyment that much. Minor blib on a bigger radar, so to say.
This was a strong debut all around, and a very courageous one at that. The writing might not have been flawless or perfect, but I honestly didn't give a crap anymore at one point, because I just liked the story too much.
Seriously though, I wanted to have this the moment I laid eyes on it. Because c'mon! When was the last time you've seen an overweight character on a romance book that didn't include the fat, unhappy guy going on a revolutionary diet, loosing 200 pounds and THEN finding their HEA? I'm almost tempted to say never. Also, don't let the cheerful, light cover fool you. This is not a low-angst, happy-go-lucky book, and the things the MCs are dealing with are not your standard college guys/experimentation/coming out MM recipe. Sometimes it seems like a different cake altogether.
In this book, we get to meet Robert who, at the tender age of 13, realized that he's gay but can't be due to his very opressive, conservative family. His coping mechanism became eating. His weight became his armor. If no one wants to touch him, there is no reason for him to think or talk about attraction at all. Nobody wants him, so he doesn't have to face wanting someone in return. Which works out for him until he meets his new roommate at college. Out and proud Pete is pretty and smart, and (unfortunately) attracted to Robert from the get-go. What to do when the life you carefully constructed around yourself suddenly doesn't fit anymore?
There are several things that could have gone wrong with this, but made me happy when they didn't. Start with Pete. His attraction to Robert could have gone downhill fast if it would have been portrayed as some kind of kink. Too often fat-shaming occurs in the context of "No normal person would love you, only the very kinky ones with a serious fetish." So I was very happy with Pete being attracted to Robert for various reasons, and while he does have a thing for "big guys", he never made me cringe or shudder for making Robert (or me) feel dirty in any way. It was not attraction DESPITE the weight, nor was it BECAUSE OF it. Kudos to the author for finding the perfect way and tone here.
Secondly, I was afraid that somehow the story would have an undertone of... pity, maybe? Or at least the notion that overweight people are all struggling with some internal crisis and that binge-eating is their way of dealing. It could have been one of those stories where overeating was the only reason for the weight of the MC, and the overeating was the only reason for the MC to have problems in the first place, and so on and on. I didn't feel that way at all here. There is no denying that overeating was one of Roberts coping mechanisms and his armor. But. That was not all of it. His weight was not his "main problem", nor would he become magically thin and trim and fit as soon as he started to deal with his issues. He's a big guy, he will always be a big guy. But he can be a healthy, sport-y, happy big guys. His overeating is a problem, binge-eating sweets until he's physically ill is a problem. But it's not all it is, and not once did I have the feeling that it was somehow meant as a generalization á la "All overweight people eat too much because they have mental problems." Kudos. Seriously. All the kudos!
Also, how awesome was it for Robert to find love without changing his complete lifestyle, loose 200 pounds, start running marathons and becoming a sports model?! I have no words for how happy I this made me. Because hot damn.
The only thing I struggled with a little were Roberts parents, or better say the black-and-white feel of the families. Where Pete's family was absolutely 100% awesome on all levels, Robert's parents were somewhat cartoonish, evil Bible-thumpers incapable of loving their son the way he was, or even acknowledging him as a real person. I don't think they once looked at Robert and actually SAW him. So that was a little disappointing for me, a little too clichéd for my taste. But honestly? In the grand scheme of things, it didn't take away from my enjoyment that much. Minor blib on a bigger radar, so to say.
This was a strong debut all around, and a very courageous one at that. The writing might not have been flawless or perfect, but I honestly didn't give a crap anymore at one point, because I just liked the story too much.
January 7, 2016
It's always nice to have a main character who isn't model-perfect, especially one who is significantly overweight. Robert has been overeating for a long time - food providing both a comfort, and the means to an armor. If he's too fat to appeal to most girls, there's no need for Robert to explain why he's not dating one. Pleasing his homophobic parents and keeping their love is easier when he is the fat guy no girl (or guy) would want.
This technique has worked until Robert gets to college and meets Pete, his roommate. Pete is gay and out, and he's not at all repulsed by Robert's weight. So will college be the moment Robert turns his life around to something that he really wants? Or will it be the place he eats himself out of pants and shirt, trying not to be too gay for his family to love?
I appreciated the ending of this, and the avoidance of some cliches. I did take off a star for being a bit black-and-white in its characters, and for the degree to which over-eating was presented as a pathological response to stress. But the relationship parts felt realistic and sweet, with enough angsty moments to give it some depth. I enjoyed the story, and will probably reread this someday.
This technique has worked until Robert gets to college and meets Pete, his roommate. Pete is gay and out, and he's not at all repulsed by Robert's weight. So will college be the moment Robert turns his life around to something that he really wants? Or will it be the place he eats himself out of pants and shirt, trying not to be too gay for his family to love?
I appreciated the ending of this, and the avoidance of some cliches. I did take off a star for being a bit black-and-white in its characters, and for the degree to which over-eating was presented as a pathological response to stress. But the relationship parts felt realistic and sweet, with enough angsty moments to give it some depth. I enjoyed the story, and will probably reread this someday.
January 15, 2017
La belleza está en el interior, bla, bla, y todos estamos de acuerdo. El mensaje es muy bonito, y cierto, además de darle un poco de frescor a esa ristra interminable de personajes con cuerpos y caras perfectos. Pero, la descripción de cómo un MC come sin parar como solución a sus frustraciones y su ansiedad, se hace muy cansino a las 437632829 vez que se nos cuenta, de verdad. Ellos son adorables, la historia es bonita, pero la autora vuelve una y otra vez a lo mismo, y al final se ha tornado un poco aburrido y le ha quitado toda la emotividad.
Psé, entre 2 y 3.
Psé, entre 2 y 3.
January 17, 2016
I have no idea how to rate this. This is defintely not the norm. A book about non-model perfect MCs?!? What??? Did I enjoy it? Yes, but I have issues. Things in this book were completely black and white with no shades of gray. Pete and his family were perfect and accepting of the boys being gay AND with Robbie's weight. Robbie's parents were evil, fat shaming, religious bigots. I think that was just too... Too much? I think the story could have still had the same impact concerning non-perfect MCs without the melodrama of Robbie's parents added on top of Robbie's own issues concerning his sexuality and, in turn, his self medicating with food. I do think that the food issues were dealt with a somewhat simplified manner. As an emotional eater (as an adult), I don't think I have ever consciously thought about WHY I was eating at the time that it's happening. I'm pretty sure that as a teenager, I wouldn't have even been self aware enough to even know that's what I was doing. So having Robbie thinking about eating away the pain or nervousness didn't ring true IMO.
All in all, an enjoyable but OTT read. I would definitely read more by this author. I'm going with 3.5 rounded down for Robbie's parents.
All in all, an enjoyable but OTT read. I would definitely read more by this author. I'm going with 3.5 rounded down for Robbie's parents.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 9, 2017
So sweet - more emotive than I expected; MC Robert had major issues to address. A great book to make you realise that you are valued no matter what society in general reflects back at you.
July 5, 2017
Hmm... i do feel this deserves maybe 2/5 stars but lately, i've been either loving a book or dismissing it completely, with little to no gray zone.
Anyway, the book. it had a real interesting premise : it deals with homophobia and fatphobia and it still manages to look sweet.
I can't help but feel that for such a short story, there's was no need to add the eating disorder in regards to Rob's obesity. Especially since it was poorly done : every time rob ate anything, as a reader i felt as if the author was shouting in my face that he was eating because HE WASNT PROPERLY COPING WITH HIS EMOTIONS AND FOOD WAS A SUBSTITUTION FOR COMFORT AND PEACE. Every. Single. Time. It got obnoxious and unnecessary (i'm too lazy to put quotes in here, but really it was redundant).
I had a love hate relationship with the other character Pete : he was cute and jovial at first, but then turned into someone manipulative in some aspects, very demanding, and condescending to Rob when things didn't go his way.
In short, i wasn't convinced by this love story, and the brought up issues weren't handle properly in such a short book.
Anyway, the book. it had a real interesting premise : it deals with homophobia and fatphobia and it still manages to look sweet.
I can't help but feel that for such a short story, there's was no need to add the eating disorder in regards to Rob's obesity. Especially since it was poorly done : every time rob ate anything, as a reader i felt as if the author was shouting in my face that he was eating because HE WASNT PROPERLY COPING WITH HIS EMOTIONS AND FOOD WAS A SUBSTITUTION FOR COMFORT AND PEACE. Every. Single. Time. It got obnoxious and unnecessary (i'm too lazy to put quotes in here, but really it was redundant).
I had a love hate relationship with the other character Pete : he was cute and jovial at first, but then turned into someone manipulative in some aspects, very demanding, and condescending to Rob when things didn't go his way.
In short, i wasn't convinced by this love story, and the brought up issues weren't handle properly in such a short book.
March 24, 2018
trop de clichés et à tous les points de vue...
January 6, 2019
While I appreciated the tenderness with which the author has tried to breach body positivity, it still felt a bit more formulaic than actual care for characters. I would have loved to see Robert’s weight and overeating being one of his tics and not the only one, like a bit more development on the characters.
January 10, 2016
Great story idea but felt unfinished. I loved that Robert, one of the MCs was overweight. After so many stories about buff and toned people, I appreciate seeing an MC who isn't physically perfect. And his issue actually stems from being gay but not acting on it due to his conservative upbringing. He overeats any time he's faced with a problem. At the same time, he realizes it provides armor for him to not do any of the typical things like date or go to prom. When he meets his college roommate Pete, he's accepted for the first time for who he is, however he looks. There's definitely some angsty bits and also some eating binges that were physically difficult to read about. But overall a very good NA story with only a few typos/grammatical errors.
January 7, 2016
Well this was different.
Robert has had an ultra conservative upbringing and uses food to try and mask his misery at the realisation he's gay and that would never be accepted by his parents.
Pete is unashamed, cute, sweet and a little too good to be true.
The author really made me think in regards to Robert's relationship with food. His anxieties, struggles and reasons were really well written.
This is a sweet story and it's very different from most romance stories. It's steps away from the 'flawed but incredibly beautiful' norm. I loved that the author stayed true to the characters and didn't have Robert losing weight. It was interesting and different enough to keep me hooked.
Robert has had an ultra conservative upbringing and uses food to try and mask his misery at the realisation he's gay and that would never be accepted by his parents.
Pete is unashamed, cute, sweet and a little too good to be true.
The author really made me think in regards to Robert's relationship with food. His anxieties, struggles and reasons were really well written.
This is a sweet story and it's very different from most romance stories. It's steps away from the 'flawed but incredibly beautiful' norm. I loved that the author stayed true to the characters and didn't have Robert losing weight. It was interesting and different enough to keep me hooked.
January 5, 2016
I do love reading about characters who are different or have uncommon challenges in the m/m world. So this was a plus. I was thrilled by the way LJ Miles voiced Roberts reasons and anxieties around eating and food. The entire time I was reading I worried readers won't give this one a chance or judge Robert or worse Pete for not demanding a diet or else. The ending worked for me if for no other reason than Mile chose not to try to solve every problem by the end. Even in fiction live isn't that easy.
January 8, 2016
3.5 stars. It was really hard to read this story because I saw so much of myself in the MC. I found myself cringing at the similarities then bursting into tears because I know exactly how it feels to look in the mirror and see the results of that kind of 'comfort'.
March 10, 2018
lovely :)
July 13, 2017
I am ALL here for the overweight male MC and this story was super sweet. There are some things I'm not quite sure about plot-wise, but overall I liked it. Side note: I swear I read this same, EXACT story on an online forum years ago (don't ask).
Also, this is a Kindle-only read. I understand why, but I hate e-reading.
Also, this is a Kindle-only read. I understand why, but I hate e-reading.
January 9, 2016
Family makes all the difference. Conditional love, on the other hand, might not be worth the sacrifice. Robert is a big guy. But he’s a big guy because he’s been eating to mask his true feelings and fears since he was thirteen. Pete, by contrast, is a skinny guy with bright red hair and freckles all over his body. He and Robert are put together as freshman in college, and thus begins Robert’s journey to self-discovery.
This is a fairly simple story of young love, but it is also a fairly ringing indictment of our society’s habit of judging and only granting approval if one conforms to society’s norms. Robert is the way he is because his parents’ love and respect is conditional upon his achieving what they want him to achieve. He has buried his true self under candy bars and snack cakes. Blind to what they’ve done to their child, his parents also judge him for being too heavy.
Pete’s family doesn’t judge; they merely love. Their main concern is for others’ health and happiness, not society’s standards. It’s a torturous road, but Robert has to walk it if he is ever to be truly happy, truly his own man.
The gay world is also pretty harsh about folks whose bodies don’t conform to the received notions of form and beauty. This is not a book where the protagonist becomes gorgeous and muscular in order to win love; this is about controlling an eating disorder and finding pride inside oneself. The love he seeks is unconditional, which is, after all the only love that matters.
This is a fairly simple story of young love, but it is also a fairly ringing indictment of our society’s habit of judging and only granting approval if one conforms to society’s norms. Robert is the way he is because his parents’ love and respect is conditional upon his achieving what they want him to achieve. He has buried his true self under candy bars and snack cakes. Blind to what they’ve done to their child, his parents also judge him for being too heavy.
Pete’s family doesn’t judge; they merely love. Their main concern is for others’ health and happiness, not society’s standards. It’s a torturous road, but Robert has to walk it if he is ever to be truly happy, truly his own man.
The gay world is also pretty harsh about folks whose bodies don’t conform to the received notions of form and beauty. This is not a book where the protagonist becomes gorgeous and muscular in order to win love; this is about controlling an eating disorder and finding pride inside oneself. The love he seeks is unconditional, which is, after all the only love that matters.
January 6, 2016
3-3.5 stars
This was sweet and unusual enough to make an impression. Robert is the only child of a very conservative couple with great expectations for their beloved son. Unfortunately Robert can live up to these expectations, because Robert is gay. He tried hiding it, from both his parents and himself by binge eating junks food and sweets. This works well for years, until he goes away to college and ends up rooming with Pete, who is not only gay, but also attracted to big guys like Robert.
This was a slow moving sweet and angsty story. Robert is a horrible emtional mess for most of the story and although I did feel very very sorry for him I had a harder time forgiving his actions than Pete did.
Pete is almost too good to be true and so is his family. But they balance out the misery which is Roberts life nicely. As I said, Pete is more forgiving than I was, so we get our happy ending.
Lovely little story about finding happiness and learning to be happy with yourself, just as you are.
This was sweet and unusual enough to make an impression. Robert is the only child of a very conservative couple with great expectations for their beloved son. Unfortunately Robert can live up to these expectations, because Robert is gay. He tried hiding it, from both his parents and himself by binge eating junks food and sweets. This works well for years, until he goes away to college and ends up rooming with Pete, who is not only gay, but also attracted to big guys like Robert.
This was a slow moving sweet and angsty story. Robert is a horrible emtional mess for most of the story and although I did feel very very sorry for him I had a harder time forgiving his actions than Pete did.
Pete is almost too good to be true and so is his family. But they balance out the misery which is Roberts life nicely. As I said, Pete is more forgiving than I was, so we get our happy ending.
Lovely little story about finding happiness and learning to be happy with yourself, just as you are.
January 7, 2016
Worth the read
3.5 Stars
I liked this one.
It isn't very often that you get a story with a big MC. I liked that the author stayed true to the character and didn't have him losing weight.
Roberts struggles were well written. The emotional binge eating started in his teenage years and progressed throughout the book, with only Pete's support and love regardless of his size, as well as Pete's family's positive attitude helping him to come to terms and change to a healthier life.
3.5 Stars
I liked this one.
It isn't very often that you get a story with a big MC. I liked that the author stayed true to the character and didn't have him losing weight.
Roberts struggles were well written. The emotional binge eating started in his teenage years and progressed throughout the book, with only Pete's support and love regardless of his size, as well as Pete's family's positive attitude helping him to come to terms and change to a healthier life.
November 6, 2018
This didn't work for me. On a number of levels. Mostly what got me was Robbie's internalized homophobia and how he actually hurt Pete on numerous occasions because of it. Every moment of character growth in Robbie came because Pete pulled back after Robbie did something hurtful. It was painful to read. This internal struggle is always a turnoff for me, so this could be a case of just me not getting into the story. To each their own.
January 12, 2016
What a wonderful story. I loved that the main characters were just as they are. No model perfect or athlete strong. Just two ordinary individuals who found love together. This one is going into my favorites pile.
January 19, 2016
I liked this book and the relationship between the two MCs for the most part. It was sometimes hard to be in Robert's head and read how he felt about himself and how he dealt with situations. I'm a sucker for epilogues like the one in this book and I loved how sweet and understanding Pete was.
November 29, 2017
3.5 stars!
And...spoilers!!
When I started reading this book, I thought I would give this a five, but then some scenes just did not work for me. For example, after Robert and Pete "broke up" because of the thing that happened during the Winter break, Pete went out on a date with another guy and even kissed him goodnight. Seriously? Well, okay, maybe Pete was really sad about Robert not picking up his phones and being forced to date a girl, but how come he could transfer his feelings from Robert to another guy that fast? It made me think that the affection Pete had towards Robert was not that strong.
I really want to give this book a higher ranking, but I can't really feel the affection between these two. I enjoyed it though.
And...spoilers!!
When I started reading this book, I thought I would give this a five, but then some scenes just did not work for me. For example, after Robert and Pete "broke up" because of the thing that happened during the Winter break, Pete went out on a date with another guy and even kissed him goodnight. Seriously? Well, okay, maybe Pete was really sad about Robert not picking up his phones and being forced to date a girl, but how come he could transfer his feelings from Robert to another guy that fast? It made me think that the affection Pete had towards Robert was not that strong.
I really want to give this book a higher ranking, but I can't really feel the affection between these two. I enjoyed it though.
October 29, 2020
This book is actually well written. Not like high literature or anything, but the writer can write and pull out emotions. My biggest problem is that it focuses on overeating with the main character and that does the book a disservice and seems counter to its message. The romance would have been better served just being about a big boy coming out, coming of age but instead it is overwrought with pages and pages describing his eating habits. People of size have it rough as it is without being labeled as gluttons. I couldn't tell if his overeating was supposed to be sexually titillating or just mean. Unfortunately the good writing and well drawn characters is overshadowed by the stereotypical "fat man just cant stop eating" motif.
May 2, 2021
1.5 stars? - cw: binge eating disorder, LOTS of internalized homophobia - This was TOUGH to read, and I'm not entirely sure why I finished it, except I think I kept hoping it would get better? I want to read more body diversity, and there still aren't a lot of truly fat characters. This guy, it's like . . . wow. He binges when he's upset, and we are put through at least seven or eight scenes of it (I eventually just skimmed/skipped those parts.) He ends up in a relationship with his roommate, who gives him so much leeway to stay in the closet; it was frustrating to read all around. It ended kind of abruptly and then skipped forward a few years to a fairy tale epilogue that didn't fit with the rest of the book.
March 20, 2018
I liked this even though it's really sad through much of Robbie's attempts to be what his parents expect. He drowns himself in food because it's how he keeps 'those feelings' at bay. He can't be gay - his parents would never accept it. The fact that he goes to college and is roommates with a bright, shining Pete makes keeping feelings under wraps even worse. Pete, for his part, is nearly a saint in how patient he is. I did question a couple times how his acceptance of Robbie's eating was almost too much but then the parents showed up and I was all for anyone to help Robbie.
January 26, 2024
This was cute. This reads less like a romance and more like a bildungsroman, coming-of-age book. Robert overeats to repress his sexuality - made harder by his religious family. Pete is a lovely character (as is his family) but lacks the focus that Robert is given.
I liked how none of the main characters were model-esque. Pete's predilection for heavier set men runs in the family though.
I liked how none of the main characters were model-esque. Pete's predilection for heavier set men runs in the family though.
June 20, 2026
2.5 stars!!
I liked the ending of this story - I did. I loved how Pete’s family took in Robbie after what his parents did - you could really see the love between his family and Robbie. it was amazing. Especially his mom!!!!
This book doessss focus on overeating which is not my favorite thing to read about which is why I rated it low but don’t be stunned I loved this story otherwise!
I liked the ending of this story - I did. I loved how Pete’s family took in Robbie after what his parents did - you could really see the love between his family and Robbie. it was amazing. Especially his mom!!!!
This book doessss focus on overeating which is not my favorite thing to read about which is why I rated it low but don’t be stunned I loved this story otherwise!
June 28, 2023
Beautiful!!!
A very moving story of looking beyond the cover to find the person you're meant to to be on the side and that loving yourself first is the start of allowing love to lift you higher than the stars.
A very moving story of looking beyond the cover to find the person you're meant to to be on the side and that loving yourself first is the start of allowing love to lift you higher than the stars.
July 20, 2018
Epic love the story that shows just how special the diversity in life can be.
September 3, 2019
3.5 Stars
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