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My Life with the Liars
Perfect for fans of Kathryn Erskine’s Mockingbird and Holly Goldberg Sloan’s Counting by 7s, this is a stunningly unique and poignant story of one girl’s strength and courage as she decides who she is and what she will believe in.
Behind the white-washed walls of the Arizona compound, life was simple. Follow the rules, "live in the light," and all would be well. Zylynn was excited to turn thirteen and begin the work of bringing others into the light, to save them from the liars and the darkness of the outside world. But when she is taken away by a man who claims to be her father, she is confused and desperate to return home.
Zylynn resists her new life—until she finds small comforts, like shampoo, the color pink, and strawberries. But as her thirteenth birthday approaches, Zylynn must make a difficult decision—to stay here with the enemy, or find her way back to the light. And neither may be what they seem.
Behind the white-washed walls of the Arizona compound, life was simple. Follow the rules, "live in the light," and all would be well. Zylynn was excited to turn thirteen and begin the work of bringing others into the light, to save them from the liars and the darkness of the outside world. But when she is taken away by a man who claims to be her father, she is confused and desperate to return home.
Zylynn resists her new life—until she finds small comforts, like shampoo, the color pink, and strawberries. But as her thirteenth birthday approaches, Zylynn must make a difficult decision—to stay here with the enemy, or find her way back to the light. And neither may be what they seem.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published March 8, 2016
About the author
Caela Carter
10 books345 followersCaela Carter grew up in Basking Ridge, NJ and Baltimore, MD. She's been writing since she learned how to pick up a pen but before the writing thing got serious she spent six years teaching English to middle and high school students in Jacksonville, FL and Chicago, IL. Her debut novel, ME, HIM, THEM AND IT was published in 2013 by Bloomsbury. When she's not writing, Caela is a teacher of some awesome teens in Brooklyn, a Notre Dame football enthusiast, and a happy explorer in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews
April 14, 2017
4.5 stars
Zylynn was born into a cult. All she knows is Father Prophet, his teachings about Mother God, and the strict rules of her compounds. She endures periods of starvation and"pinging" (standing against a fence while the other kids throw rocks at her backs and legs) for the glorious day she turns 13. A week from her 13th birthday, Zylynn is taken away from the cult by a man who calls himself her father. She moves in with his wife and three kids, and is overwhelmed by the soft bed, the colorful clothes, and the refrigerator brimming with food. No one here is going to throw rocks at her for eating, or for asking questions. But will she be able to overcome what she's experienced?
This is a middle grade book, and a brave one at that. Caela Carter writes about Zylynn and her cult with gentleness and honesty. It would easy to turn Zylynn into a caricature, but she's nuanced and three-dimensional. And her new family is so refreshingly solid. Her stepmother is a rock immediately, and while it takes a while for her to warm up to her father, he's also a good, albeit flawed man. Even if you're not a fan of MG books, I recommend you read this book.
Zylynn was born into a cult. All she knows is Father Prophet, his teachings about Mother God, and the strict rules of her compounds. She endures periods of starvation and"pinging" (standing against a fence while the other kids throw rocks at her backs and legs) for the glorious day she turns 13. A week from her 13th birthday, Zylynn is taken away from the cult by a man who calls himself her father. She moves in with his wife and three kids, and is overwhelmed by the soft bed, the colorful clothes, and the refrigerator brimming with food. No one here is going to throw rocks at her for eating, or for asking questions. But will she be able to overcome what she's experienced?
This is a middle grade book, and a brave one at that. Caela Carter writes about Zylynn and her cult with gentleness and honesty. It would easy to turn Zylynn into a caricature, but she's nuanced and three-dimensional. And her new family is so refreshingly solid. Her stepmother is a rock immediately, and while it takes a while for her to warm up to her father, he's also a good, albeit flawed man. Even if you're not a fan of MG books, I recommend you read this book.
March 22, 2016
First and foremost this story, the way it is written, will not hold the interest of a Middle Grade reader. There was too much extraneous matter and redundancy of thoughts in the MC's head that just wanted to make me scream, OKAY I GOT THAT ALREADY! Plus there were inconsistencies like the baby being almost two years old and two days later it says he is almost four years old. The MC uses the names of items she would not know like flip-flops and sequins. She has vivid memories of adult conversations she heard when she was two years old? Understanding adult vocabulary and situations? Also the bouncing back and forth between the current time and environment to the past, which at times I don't think was chronological, was confusing for me, even as an adult reader. At about the 60% mark the situations needed to bring the story to conclusion became ridiculous.
I was approved for an eARC, via Edelweiss, in return for an honest review.
I was approved for an eARC, via Edelweiss, in return for an honest review.
October 16, 2016
Interesting. I wish I knew more about cults, so I could judge the book's treatment of them, but I ended up buying Zylynn's reactions more than I thought I would. When you grew up with such a firm set of rules and behaviors, it takes time to change them and this book doesn't cover that much time. But I thought it struck a good balance there. I liked that was mentioned.
November 6, 2018
This is an amazing book. I like how at first you don't fully comprehend the situation, and you are just reading information. Then towards the end of the book, everything falls into place, and you go, "Oh, that's what that meant,". This is an emotional book, I wouldn't say sad, because for the majority of the book, you don't really understand that such an awful thing is happening. I would recommend this book to somebody anytime.
March 30, 2016
When I heard about this book, and saw what it was about, I just knew I would read it. I have been interested in reading about cults, especially from the inside, or at least for the perspective of a character that is in one, or just got out one.
The character from this book, named Zylynn, has been in a cult since she was born. So you can imagine that when, at age 12 almost 13, she is suddenly put outside of it, and dumped in the hands of her father, she is totally terrified, and fears that she will be in the darkness forever. That she won't have a chance at light, love, and God. That alone broke my heart. And as the book continues and we find out more and more about Zylynn, about the cult, about what happened there, my heart broke further. Poor Zylynn, poor people in there. Manipulated, and much much more. :(
The book is written between the now and the then. We see Zylynn struggle with her new life, trying to escape so she can be at the ritual that will determine her future with the cult. She doesn't dare to speak, for fear for letting in the darkness. She stores food, she is wary of anyone not from her cult, she is even afraid of the food, thinking it will just be removed before she knows it, or that there is not enough in the end (seriously, that just pained me so much, to see such a small child be wary of food, wondering when it will leave, scrounging and keeping it hidden).
And then there is the then. We learn about the cult, about days of hunger, about suspicious stuff happening, about the doctrine that is being stomped into the minds of the children, of the adults.
We see rituals happen, we see happiness, and sadness.
It took me a bit to get used to the format, it was clearly marked when we were going into the past, but it still was a bit jarring. I was just getting warmed up to the now, and then we would be brought to the past.
As the book continues you can see a change in Zylynn, not a big one, she is still highly keen on escaping/running away, but you can see that she is more accepting of her circumstances, that she is becoming more happy. My heart broke for her though when she found out several things, and also near the end. Gosh, I cried. :(
In the past you can also see a change. It becomes more and more clear that this cult is wrong, bad, not right. Sure, you could also see that from the get-go, but I feel that as the book progresses you see more wrongness seeping out.
I loved the father, and I loved his wife (stepmother for Zylynn). They were so supportive, they tried so hard, they fought for Zylynn, and I was just cheering for them. They truly are amazing people. Their kids (and thus halfsiblings for Zylynn) were sweet and I loved how they accepted Zylynn, sure they were wary, but they did try to involve her with things. Especially the little girl.
I also loved that other girl, a friend of Zylynn, she was really sweet and I loved her attitude. How even in the cult she never lost hope, and never stopped trying to do her own thing.
The ending was sad, one filled with twists and turns (especially for Zylynn), but also one with hope for a good future. And I cried during several parts (not only sad tears, but also happy tears).
This book will break your heart, this book will bring you to tears. This book is amazing, and I would highly recommend it to everyone.
Review first posted at http://twirlingbookprincess.com/
The character from this book, named Zylynn, has been in a cult since she was born. So you can imagine that when, at age 12 almost 13, she is suddenly put outside of it, and dumped in the hands of her father, she is totally terrified, and fears that she will be in the darkness forever. That she won't have a chance at light, love, and God. That alone broke my heart. And as the book continues and we find out more and more about Zylynn, about the cult, about what happened there, my heart broke further. Poor Zylynn, poor people in there. Manipulated, and much much more. :(
The book is written between the now and the then. We see Zylynn struggle with her new life, trying to escape so she can be at the ritual that will determine her future with the cult. She doesn't dare to speak, for fear for letting in the darkness. She stores food, she is wary of anyone not from her cult, she is even afraid of the food, thinking it will just be removed before she knows it, or that there is not enough in the end (seriously, that just pained me so much, to see such a small child be wary of food, wondering when it will leave, scrounging and keeping it hidden).
And then there is the then. We learn about the cult, about days of hunger, about suspicious stuff happening, about the doctrine that is being stomped into the minds of the children, of the adults.
We see rituals happen, we see happiness, and sadness.
It took me a bit to get used to the format, it was clearly marked when we were going into the past, but it still was a bit jarring. I was just getting warmed up to the now, and then we would be brought to the past.
As the book continues you can see a change in Zylynn, not a big one, she is still highly keen on escaping/running away, but you can see that she is more accepting of her circumstances, that she is becoming more happy. My heart broke for her though when she found out several things, and also near the end. Gosh, I cried. :(
In the past you can also see a change. It becomes more and more clear that this cult is wrong, bad, not right. Sure, you could also see that from the get-go, but I feel that as the book progresses you see more wrongness seeping out.
I loved the father, and I loved his wife (stepmother for Zylynn). They were so supportive, they tried so hard, they fought for Zylynn, and I was just cheering for them. They truly are amazing people. Their kids (and thus halfsiblings for Zylynn) were sweet and I loved how they accepted Zylynn, sure they were wary, but they did try to involve her with things. Especially the little girl.
I also loved that other girl, a friend of Zylynn, she was really sweet and I loved her attitude. How even in the cult she never lost hope, and never stopped trying to do her own thing.
The ending was sad, one filled with twists and turns (especially for Zylynn), but also one with hope for a good future. And I cried during several parts (not only sad tears, but also happy tears).
This book will break your heart, this book will bring you to tears. This book is amazing, and I would highly recommend it to everyone.
Review first posted at http://twirlingbookprincess.com/
April 9, 2016
Carter, Caela. My Life with the Liars. Harper Collins, 2016.
Zylynn has always lived with the Children Inside the Light. She's eagerly anticipating her 13th birthday, less than two weeks away, when she is taken Outside and forced to live with her father and stepmother. She knows she can't trust a word they say - she's been told they are Liars - and she is determined to return to the compound before her very important 13th birthday, when she will go through the Ceremony and become an adult. But her father and stepmother's kindness is wearing down her walls. They let her eat as much as she wants and she gets to wear colors and have her own possessions. Will she be strong enough to return to the Light, or will she miss her Ceremony and live in Darkness forever?
I love stories, real or imagined, about people who escape strict religious cults. This particular book is aimed more at a middle grade audience, and our protagonist is much younger than the typical 16-year old escapee from other books. She's confused because she only knows what she's been taught in the cult, so she does things like sleep with the lights on, hoard extra food under her bed, and refer to her parents by their first names. She doesn't know about wearing clothes with colors, or what an iPad is, or what it feels like to ride in a car. She tries desperately to return to the compound, to the things she finds familiar, but there's a pull in the novelty of things like strawberries, a room of one's one, and love.
I love that this story is told from Zylynn's point of view. We see her confusion and struggle over living in this strange, new world. We see her desperation to return to the compound, and the love and patience of her family. When Zylynn hoards food, her stepmother puts it in containers for her, but leaves it under the bed where she had it, even though it is rotting. No one turns off her light at night while she sleeps because she is used to sleeping under bright lights. I read this book in one sitting, which is something I very rarely do. Recommended.
Recommended for: middle grade, teens, fans of religious cult stories
Red Flags: kids in the cult are neglected and starved, they are punished with what I'll have to call "mild stoning" [yes, with rocks, but little ones],
Overall Rating: 5/5 stars
Read-Alikes: The Giver, Watch the Sky, Devoted, The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly, A Good Courage
Zylynn has always lived with the Children Inside the Light. She's eagerly anticipating her 13th birthday, less than two weeks away, when she is taken Outside and forced to live with her father and stepmother. She knows she can't trust a word they say - she's been told they are Liars - and she is determined to return to the compound before her very important 13th birthday, when she will go through the Ceremony and become an adult. But her father and stepmother's kindness is wearing down her walls. They let her eat as much as she wants and she gets to wear colors and have her own possessions. Will she be strong enough to return to the Light, or will she miss her Ceremony and live in Darkness forever?
I love stories, real or imagined, about people who escape strict religious cults. This particular book is aimed more at a middle grade audience, and our protagonist is much younger than the typical 16-year old escapee from other books. She's confused because she only knows what she's been taught in the cult, so she does things like sleep with the lights on, hoard extra food under her bed, and refer to her parents by their first names. She doesn't know about wearing clothes with colors, or what an iPad is, or what it feels like to ride in a car. She tries desperately to return to the compound, to the things she finds familiar, but there's a pull in the novelty of things like strawberries, a room of one's one, and love.
I love that this story is told from Zylynn's point of view. We see her confusion and struggle over living in this strange, new world. We see her desperation to return to the compound, and the love and patience of her family. When Zylynn hoards food, her stepmother puts it in containers for her, but leaves it under the bed where she had it, even though it is rotting. No one turns off her light at night while she sleeps because she is used to sleeping under bright lights. I read this book in one sitting, which is something I very rarely do. Recommended.
Recommended for: middle grade, teens, fans of religious cult stories
Red Flags: kids in the cult are neglected and starved, they are punished with what I'll have to call "mild stoning" [yes, with rocks, but little ones],
Overall Rating: 5/5 stars
Read-Alikes: The Giver, Watch the Sky, Devoted, The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly, A Good Courage
May 29, 2016
My 5-star rating is less for literary merit and more because it's hard to find a book that scratches that simple, short, fast-paced and yet creeptacular itch for upper middle grade literature. Think of MY LIFE WITH THE LIARS as a cross between immersive world-building dystopian books like The Giver and The City of Ember and the story of somebody adjusting to a new family like in One for the Murphys.
Zylynn has grown up in a religious cult on a collective compound As the story begins, through some confusion that isn't fully revealed to the reader until the end, she is transplanted to the outside world with a strange family.
Zylynn has been taught to believe that the outside world is filled with lies and Darkness, but slowly Zylynn begins to question exactly how Dark this outside world is, given that her host family has been able to feed her three meals a day and gives hugs to each other.
Through flashback, it is revealed how abusive this religious cult is... we're talking starvation, stonings, and forced tranquilizers, as a start. Despite these flashbacks and the comforts of the outside world, Zylynn is determined to make it back to the compound so that she doesn't miss her all-important Ceremony for her thirteenth birthday.
Adult readers won't find many plot surprises in this book, but younger readers may be amazed at some of the truths revealed along the way. Developing readers might have a hard time parsing the flashback scenes and understanding some of the conventions of the cult that aren't spelled out explicitly. Highly recommended for late sixth grade and above.
Zylynn has grown up in a religious cult on a collective compound As the story begins, through some confusion that isn't fully revealed to the reader until the end, she is transplanted to the outside world with a strange family.
Zylynn has been taught to believe that the outside world is filled with lies and Darkness, but slowly Zylynn begins to question exactly how Dark this outside world is, given that her host family has been able to feed her three meals a day and gives hugs to each other.
Through flashback, it is revealed how abusive this religious cult is... we're talking starvation, stonings, and forced tranquilizers, as a start. Despite these flashbacks and the comforts of the outside world, Zylynn is determined to make it back to the compound so that she doesn't miss her all-important Ceremony for her thirteenth birthday.
Adult readers won't find many plot surprises in this book, but younger readers may be amazed at some of the truths revealed along the way. Developing readers might have a hard time parsing the flashback scenes and understanding some of the conventions of the cult that aren't spelled out explicitly. Highly recommended for late sixth grade and above.
May 16, 2016
I have to admit right up front that I am a 35 year old metalhead, with generally poor attention to detail. I got this book from Amazon, thinking it was titled, "My Life with Lars," and assumed it was a biography of Metallica's drummer, Lars Ulrich. Let me tell you, I was pleasantly surprised.
First of all, the main character's name is Zylynn, which sounds a lot like Zildjian (the brand of cymbals used by Lars Ulrich. The book is set in the days leading up to her 13th birthday, during which she has this ceremony where she stands before the Father (The Master of Puppets) and raises her hands (the book says raises her hands, but I pictured it as more of a really intense air guitar solo). If the lights in the temple turn on when she does this (if she Hits the Lights), she gets to Ride the Lightning to the next phase of cult status.
Before she gets a chance to do this, she gets ripped from the compound and taken to live with a bunch of "Liars" in the darkness (which is what the cult calls anything outside of the compound). Her first night out, she gets all freaked out by the darkness and (possibly just in my head) shouts a really sweet Metallica lyric, "Darkness. Imprisoning me. All that I see. Absolute horror." She goes about living with this nice family, all the while acting Holier than Thou.
So, she figures out that she's brainwashed, but unfortunately does not get to go back and Kill em All, nor is there Justice for All. She learns that her bio father is not Some Kind of Monster, and her cult father is really just a King Nothing. In the end, she wins up being the Hero of the Day.
All in all, pretty good.
This review could have been dumber, but not by much.
First of all, the main character's name is Zylynn, which sounds a lot like Zildjian (the brand of cymbals used by Lars Ulrich. The book is set in the days leading up to her 13th birthday, during which she has this ceremony where she stands before the Father (The Master of Puppets) and raises her hands (the book says raises her hands, but I pictured it as more of a really intense air guitar solo). If the lights in the temple turn on when she does this (if she Hits the Lights), she gets to Ride the Lightning to the next phase of cult status.
Before she gets a chance to do this, she gets ripped from the compound and taken to live with a bunch of "Liars" in the darkness (which is what the cult calls anything outside of the compound). Her first night out, she gets all freaked out by the darkness and (possibly just in my head) shouts a really sweet Metallica lyric, "Darkness. Imprisoning me. All that I see. Absolute horror." She goes about living with this nice family, all the while acting Holier than Thou.
So, she figures out that she's brainwashed, but unfortunately does not get to go back and Kill em All, nor is there Justice for All. She learns that her bio father is not Some Kind of Monster, and her cult father is really just a King Nothing. In the end, she wins up being the Hero of the Day.
All in all, pretty good.
This review could have been dumber, but not by much.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 7, 2025
I love this book. Zylynn spent her first 12 years in a cult and her Father finally got her out, but can she ever go back to a normal life trusting her family especially her Dad. Will she finally break free and run back to the cult where she can celebrate her thirteen birthday and be considered an adult? Wow this book was amazing. Following Zylynn at the beginning of her leaving was such an eye opener. You hear many people can't handle it on the outside of a cult and you can definitely see why, watching Zylynn struggling to adapt to the outside world. I thought this book showed all this and more. I highly recommend this book more for adults than for children. At times its a hard book to read and going with Zylynn and her struggles. A perfect book for Middle Grade March!!
June 11, 2017
Never dreamed of reading a kid's book about a religious cult...and I really liked it. The author did a great job of keeping up the intensity and suspense. Sad due to all the lies she's been told. And even sadder all the trust issues Zylynn experiences because of the lies. Super sweet story of love, lies and truth.
March 27, 2016
This review was originally posted on my book review blog, The Overstuffed Bookcase.
My Life With the Liars was like a breath of fresh air. I had just read a few books that I really didn't love, but within the first few pages, I could tell My Life With the Liars was going to be different. Immediately I was captivated. This voice was unique, different not only because it's a Middle Grade novel but also because of the subject matter and just because of this compelling character of Zylynn.
I'm not religious myself, but I'm so drawn towards books about cults and I think this book tackles that subject in such a unique and poignant way. Because this is told from the point of view of Zylynn, who has grown up within the cult and is now being taken out of the cult, we get to see her eyes open as she experiences the world in a way that sheds light on what we all take for granted. There are also flashbacks to her time in the cult, for readers like me who really want to see that aspect.
I also really loved the fact that in so many movies, I've seen scenes where adults are trying to communicate with a child who has been hurt or abused in some way, and the child often won't speak or behaves in what seems like an erratic way. And when this happens, we usually see the adults' points of view: their exasperation, their passion for helping the child, their perseverance to get through to the child in some way, or their cry of defeat when they feel like their efforts are fruitless. Yet in My Life With the Liars, we see these scenes from Zylynn's point of view. We know why she hesitates when people try to communicate with her. We understand why she is extremely wary of the things she is given, and why she hoards food and is so protective of her belongings. We see the exasperation and the confusion in the faces of the adults around her, but we get her point of view, and it becomes more about her, and her troubles, and not about the adults and their efforts. I can't really explain how much I LOVED this aspect of My Life With the Liars.
My Life With the Liars was an extremely compelling, quick moving story that kept me up reading for hours. I'm a super slow reader and I read it in one day. I'm also not a big crier and yet it turned on the waterworks. It was full of these interesting moral dilemmas and fascinating characters. So, in case you haven't figured it out yet, let me tell you my rating for My Life With the Liars by Caela Carter: 5 huge stars. I'll definitely have to check out some of Caela Carter's other books.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via Edelweiss, in exchange for my honest review. I was not compensated in any other way for this review.
My Life With the Liars was like a breath of fresh air. I had just read a few books that I really didn't love, but within the first few pages, I could tell My Life With the Liars was going to be different. Immediately I was captivated. This voice was unique, different not only because it's a Middle Grade novel but also because of the subject matter and just because of this compelling character of Zylynn.
I'm not religious myself, but I'm so drawn towards books about cults and I think this book tackles that subject in such a unique and poignant way. Because this is told from the point of view of Zylynn, who has grown up within the cult and is now being taken out of the cult, we get to see her eyes open as she experiences the world in a way that sheds light on what we all take for granted. There are also flashbacks to her time in the cult, for readers like me who really want to see that aspect.
I also really loved the fact that in so many movies, I've seen scenes where adults are trying to communicate with a child who has been hurt or abused in some way, and the child often won't speak or behaves in what seems like an erratic way. And when this happens, we usually see the adults' points of view: their exasperation, their passion for helping the child, their perseverance to get through to the child in some way, or their cry of defeat when they feel like their efforts are fruitless. Yet in My Life With the Liars, we see these scenes from Zylynn's point of view. We know why she hesitates when people try to communicate with her. We understand why she is extremely wary of the things she is given, and why she hoards food and is so protective of her belongings. We see the exasperation and the confusion in the faces of the adults around her, but we get her point of view, and it becomes more about her, and her troubles, and not about the adults and their efforts. I can't really explain how much I LOVED this aspect of My Life With the Liars.
My Life With the Liars was an extremely compelling, quick moving story that kept me up reading for hours. I'm a super slow reader and I read it in one day. I'm also not a big crier and yet it turned on the waterworks. It was full of these interesting moral dilemmas and fascinating characters. So, in case you haven't figured it out yet, let me tell you my rating for My Life With the Liars by Caela Carter: 5 huge stars. I'll definitely have to check out some of Caela Carter's other books.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via Edelweiss, in exchange for my honest review. I was not compensated in any other way for this review.
July 1, 2016
This book had me mesmerized and curious from the beginning. I caught myself on numerous occasions starting questions to myself like ..what just, how did, what is, why aren't they...???? It was maddeningly (not sure that is a word but anyway) frustrating and exciting at the same time. Then I came to the realization that Caela Carter had done it! She had immersed my in such a unique story and had my curiosity in overdrive.
This book will generate SO many discussions and questions, will definitely lead readers to discover truths of their own. If you are an upper MG reader, than this may just very well be a book for you.
This book will generate SO many discussions and questions, will definitely lead readers to discover truths of their own. If you are an upper MG reader, than this may just very well be a book for you.
April 26, 2016
This is a book for middle-grade readers, but the first few chapters of My Life with the Liars were very confusing even for this adult (who DVR's Dateline and 48 Hours). It is a story about a girl who is rescued from a cult, but as she sees it, she has been kidnapped and exposed to a dangerous outside world. The author does a good job of writing in this young victim's voice, and the reader can (almost) see how this kind of brainwashing works. This book should be classified as a "thriller", IMHO. Spooky.
August 18, 2016
Very eye opening, interesting read. To understand how a cult works and sucks people in is intriguing. Zylynn was a likable protagonist that you rooted for from the beginning hoping she would realize the lies and deception coming from the Inside. Her thoughts and coping mechanisms were so sad. I'm sure the author portrayed these thoughts accurately to those that have survived an experience such as Zylynn's. This book piques my interest about cults. Hoping to find more books like this one.
February 27, 2016
My heart. I've been thinking about this book all day.
March 3, 2022
I appreciate Caela Carter trying to write about religious trauma, how hard it is for children to let go of belief systems when they have been taught that their very souls hang in the balance, even when that belief system doesn't have much to offer by way of joy, love, or healthy community. She does a great job staying inside Zylynn's head--instead of just sensationalizing her experience, we see why she says and does everything she says and does. It's heartbreaking to watch her condemn herself over and over for things like "thinking stripes are pretty" and "liking strawberries." And the fact that she reconnects with a former friend who has already escaped was really well done--I loved their relationship; the dynamic rang so true.
Unfortunately, the ending feels a little rushed. After a lifetime of brutal cult indoctrination, it felt like we needed a little longer than 10 days for Zylynn to come to terms with the truth. Even worse, as she stays with a family who really wants her to be free of her cult experience, they don't do a very good job explaining to her what is going on or why. They're depicted as this wonderful, healthy family, almost the perfect alternative to the horror of cult life, but, while they certainly aren't abusive or cruel to Zylynn, they seem woefully unprepared to address her trauma. They are constantly springing things on her, even obviously triggering things like "surprise doctor visits in one hour." The father seems confused and frustrated that she's still clinging to her cult values even though it's been like a week. At times, they demonstrate a lot of patience and gentleness; they don't ever punish her or berate her even when she accidentally causes harm, which is great. But there is one jarring scene when Zylynn tells them that she wants to go back to the compound for a significant religious ritual and the dad gets angry about it? He physically restrains her and yells at her that she's never going back there again. I think I actually swore out loud, like how could his first reaction have been anger rather than the shock and horror of realizing that in all this time, nobody every helped Zylynn to understand that this transition was permanent? How could they not honor her fear and grief around missing an event that had been pitched to her as the single most important moment of her life up until a week ago? Why do stupid adults always make kids' feelings about them?
I still could have bumped this to four stars if the book had directly addressed some of these parental missteps. The father and mother are human and trying their best, and you can tell they do care for Zylynn and want her to heal from all the trauma and abuse. But without any acknowledgement of how their errors directly contributed to her suffering during her time away from the compound, the ethics of such a heavy story felt . . . incomplete.
Unfortunately, the ending feels a little rushed. After a lifetime of brutal cult indoctrination, it felt like we needed a little longer than 10 days for Zylynn to come to terms with the truth. Even worse, as she stays with a family who really wants her to be free of her cult experience, they don't do a very good job explaining to her what is going on or why. They're depicted as this wonderful, healthy family, almost the perfect alternative to the horror of cult life, but, while they certainly aren't abusive or cruel to Zylynn, they seem woefully unprepared to address her trauma. They are constantly springing things on her, even obviously triggering things like "surprise doctor visits in one hour." The father seems confused and frustrated that she's still clinging to her cult values even though it's been like a week. At times, they demonstrate a lot of patience and gentleness; they don't ever punish her or berate her even when she accidentally causes harm, which is great. But there is one jarring scene when Zylynn tells them that she wants to go back to the compound for a significant religious ritual and the dad gets angry about it? He physically restrains her and yells at her that she's never going back there again. I think I actually swore out loud, like how could his first reaction have been anger rather than the shock and horror of realizing that in all this time, nobody every helped Zylynn to understand that this transition was permanent? How could they not honor her fear and grief around missing an event that had been pitched to her as the single most important moment of her life up until a week ago? Why do stupid adults always make kids' feelings about them?
I still could have bumped this to four stars if the book had directly addressed some of these parental missteps. The father and mother are human and trying their best, and you can tell they do care for Zylynn and want her to heal from all the trauma and abuse. But without any acknowledgement of how their errors directly contributed to her suffering during her time away from the compound, the ethics of such a heavy story felt . . . incomplete.
August 27, 2020
Ok I finished this book in like 2 days. It was a pretty interesting idea and it wasn’t super boring or anything but idk I didn’t love it. first of all the plot is extremely similar to The Music of Dolphins which was written 20 years earlier (I checked). Like at first I was confused by how similar it felt. Besides that, it was just sort of cringey, like the names seemed like something a kid would make up. Also the characters were very unrealistic. (Spoiler alert) Zylynn walked for 12 HOURS STRAIGHT?? Um sorry but I don’t think that’s like humanly possible.. also Louis just walked into the cult he used to be basically abused in and he had a bunch of terrible memories from without even feeling anxious or sad or anything? Like he didn’t show any emotion or have a flashback or anything? I thought that was weird. Lastly, what the heck happened with thesmerelda, there was literally no closure and yeah. Sooo overall I didn’t hate this book but I also kind of did. But thanks Rachel for recommending it lol
July 13, 2025
I would definitely recommend this book to middle grade and high school readers! There are a couple small plot holes, but they’re fairly easily reconciled by remembering that this is from the (pretty realistically written) POV of a 12-year-old girl. I think this book would be a great read for tweens and teens who are interested in religion and philosophy, maybe as a buddy read with a parent, so you could talk through things as they’re reading. Even as an adult who was sometimes annoyed with the lack of commas between independent clauses, I enjoyed it in one sitting!
July 3, 2023
I know for a fact that if I had read this as a 12 or 13 year old, it would have been a favorite. I also can’t believe this author was like…yeah a cult survivor story for middle schoolers! Lemme write that! Good for her honestly. I thought this book was really well done and I know middle school me would have gobbled it up. I was (am) a weirdo so not sure if the vast majority of middle schoolers would love it like I did but, I thought it slapped!
July 15, 2021
This was a quick read, I couldn’t put it down. It was such a fascinating and tragic peek into the mind of a 12 year old girl who was part of a cult, and her understanding and experience of the “outside” world.
July 25, 2021
A intriguing chilling book, the first book I have ever read about cults I think, and I can’t say it didn’t creep me out a lot😰, here’s to the cult survivors 🥂 3.75/5
Read for Chantel’s buddy read for July.
Read for Chantel’s buddy read for July.
February 20, 2018
I was captivated from the very first page and the end made me cry (which I know surprises exactly no one). SO GOOD!
August 26, 2019
BRILLIANT. I am fascinated by the way the cult is depicted, which is both stark and totally age appropriate for mid-grade fiction.
October 23, 2024
YA quick read. Perspective is from a child
inside a cult who is told about The Darkness (anything outside of the compound). Very good!
inside a cult who is told about The Darkness (anything outside of the compound). Very good!
August 3, 2017
Obviously incredibly written but also incredibly disturbing and sortof making me feel paranoid hours after I finished it. Part of me is horrified it's shelved in the children's section even though there's nothing actually age-inappropriate.
September 25, 2018
It was very confusing for the first 50 or so pages but after a while it all came together so I understood it all in the end.
May 19, 2021
This is my second Caela Carter book and, like before, she sucked me right in. I’m fascinated with any book that takes place in a cult setting, so I was drawn to this one immediately.
However, I’m not sure how middle grade appropriate this is. Although Zylynn is 13, the emotional intensity of this book, paired with abuse and serious brainwashing, feels more appropriate for teens than elementary kids. There’s nothing truly inappropriate about the book; it’s just very intense. I’d be wary of handing this to my 9 year old, though perhaps the upper end of middle grade would be okay with it.
However, I’m not sure how middle grade appropriate this is. Although Zylynn is 13, the emotional intensity of this book, paired with abuse and serious brainwashing, feels more appropriate for teens than elementary kids. There’s nothing truly inappropriate about the book; it’s just very intense. I’d be wary of handing this to my 9 year old, though perhaps the upper end of middle grade would be okay with it.
May 30, 2016
“Curiosity is the greatest evil.” Citizens were given a set of rules to follow so choices would not have to be made. Reading was not an option, for reading promoted inquiry, an opportunity to expand their minds and Father Prophet Rules prohibited this. Stay within the Light and your rewards will be great.
Zylynn finds herself in the Darkness with Louis and knows she has only 10 days to return to the Light. She has heard stories of this Darkness and it chills her to out alone amongst it. It becomes her mission to return to her home in the Light. She feels that the less that she speaks the more she knows Father Prophet will be pleased with her. Louis claims to be father and inside this Darkness he says, she has a mother and siblings waiting for her but Father Prophet and Mother God have already claimed those titles for her. Zylynn’s world was sheltered and closed-off inside the Light; Father Prophet controlled his flock of followers. Zylynn was told about the Darkness, how it was full of Liars and how the Light could not save them from their anguish. His followers knew that they must be inside the Light by their thirteenth birthday or they were doomed. Zylynn had ten days to find her way back to the Light before her birthday or she would forever be living in torture, forever living in terror, forever living in the Darkness with the Liars.
I was hooked immediately upon reading the first chapter of this novel. It wasn’t a horrendous or gruesome novel dealing with the cult; it dealt more with mind control. Zylnn was taken to Father Prophet’s compound at small age, she knows no other life. When she enters the Darkness, she doesn’t know how to interact in her new environment. Her whole life she has been governed by rules and now she has no direction and she feels lost and alone. I found myself screaming, “Give her some rules! Give her boundaries!” as she needs to feel safe and secure. I loved while she was emerging into her new environment and learning about it, her vocabulary words from the Light came into play. Inserting them into her new world, she attempted to comprehend what was occurring. As the days go by, she begins to enjoy some of “dangers” from the Darkness and I could feel the sway in Zylynn’s tone. How can this be? All these years she was warned about the dangers and now living amongst them, she is finding some of them enjoyable and wondering if she could take some of them back with her to the Light. Zylynn thoughts turn to Jaycia, the girl who left the Light and didn’t turn before her 13th birthday, will Zylynn be like her or will she get home to the Light and be safe before her birthday? What actually happened to Jaycia, for Zylynn misses her and loved her. I thought this novel was a great read before but now as I turned the page, this novel throws Zylynn into an emotional twister. Zylynn gets the answer to her question but it’s not the answer that she wanted to hear. Sometimes though, that is how it is. I really wanted a different ending; I liked everything leading up to the conclusion but the ending itself, not so much.
Zylynn finds herself in the Darkness with Louis and knows she has only 10 days to return to the Light. She has heard stories of this Darkness and it chills her to out alone amongst it. It becomes her mission to return to her home in the Light. She feels that the less that she speaks the more she knows Father Prophet will be pleased with her. Louis claims to be father and inside this Darkness he says, she has a mother and siblings waiting for her but Father Prophet and Mother God have already claimed those titles for her. Zylynn’s world was sheltered and closed-off inside the Light; Father Prophet controlled his flock of followers. Zylynn was told about the Darkness, how it was full of Liars and how the Light could not save them from their anguish. His followers knew that they must be inside the Light by their thirteenth birthday or they were doomed. Zylynn had ten days to find her way back to the Light before her birthday or she would forever be living in torture, forever living in terror, forever living in the Darkness with the Liars.
I was hooked immediately upon reading the first chapter of this novel. It wasn’t a horrendous or gruesome novel dealing with the cult; it dealt more with mind control. Zylnn was taken to Father Prophet’s compound at small age, she knows no other life. When she enters the Darkness, she doesn’t know how to interact in her new environment. Her whole life she has been governed by rules and now she has no direction and she feels lost and alone. I found myself screaming, “Give her some rules! Give her boundaries!” as she needs to feel safe and secure. I loved while she was emerging into her new environment and learning about it, her vocabulary words from the Light came into play. Inserting them into her new world, she attempted to comprehend what was occurring. As the days go by, she begins to enjoy some of “dangers” from the Darkness and I could feel the sway in Zylynn’s tone. How can this be? All these years she was warned about the dangers and now living amongst them, she is finding some of them enjoyable and wondering if she could take some of them back with her to the Light. Zylynn thoughts turn to Jaycia, the girl who left the Light and didn’t turn before her 13th birthday, will Zylynn be like her or will she get home to the Light and be safe before her birthday? What actually happened to Jaycia, for Zylynn misses her and loved her. I thought this novel was a great read before but now as I turned the page, this novel throws Zylynn into an emotional twister. Zylynn gets the answer to her question but it’s not the answer that she wanted to hear. Sometimes though, that is how it is. I really wanted a different ending; I liked everything leading up to the conclusion but the ending itself, not so much.
February 2, 2021
My Life With the Liars is dark for a middle grade book. The subject matter: cults.
However, the author is masterful in capturing the voice of a child born and raised in an isolated community. I have no first hand experience with something like this, but I felt the authenticity of the experience of the protagonist.
I think I was in tears the entire time as I saw the young protagonist try to integrate into society and as she battled against that integration, finally coming to accept the lies she had told herself as truths.
An interesting choice for a middle grade novel, but an important one nonetheless.
However, the author is masterful in capturing the voice of a child born and raised in an isolated community. I have no first hand experience with something like this, but I felt the authenticity of the experience of the protagonist.
I think I was in tears the entire time as I saw the young protagonist try to integrate into society and as she battled against that integration, finally coming to accept the lies she had told herself as truths.
An interesting choice for a middle grade novel, but an important one nonetheless.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 16, 2017
My Life with the Liars is a wonderful middle grade novel. I don’t usually review middle grade books on this blog (reserving those for my other blog, Mom’s Radius), but since I read this book out of my own interest and not as a mom, I thought I’d share it here. I loved this book!
Zylynn was raised in a cult. Right before her 13th birthday her father breaks her out, but Zylynn doesn’t know he’s her father. She doesn’t know much of anything about the normal world. She’s desperate to get back to the Children Inside the Light before she turns 13 and is cast out to the darkness forever.
This first-person narrated book is so well written. It’s amazing to think about all of the things that Zylynn would not know being raised in a cult. I couldn’t put this book down. It was just so fascinating. I love books dealing with extreme religion, but this book is by far the best that I have read.
I was a little frustrated with her father and his wife because I didn’t feel like they did a good job explaining anything to Zylynn. I can see why that was done. It would have made the book resolve too quickly if they had explained things, but as a mother it was hard to read about their poor parenting.
Other than that one issue, this book was flawless. Middle grade fiction doesn’t always appeal too me, but this book wasn’t at all “dumbed down.” It’s very intelligent and insightful. It would spark great conversation with children and adults alike. I highly recommend it.
http://opinionatedbooklover.com/revie...
Zylynn was raised in a cult. Right before her 13th birthday her father breaks her out, but Zylynn doesn’t know he’s her father. She doesn’t know much of anything about the normal world. She’s desperate to get back to the Children Inside the Light before she turns 13 and is cast out to the darkness forever.
This first-person narrated book is so well written. It’s amazing to think about all of the things that Zylynn would not know being raised in a cult. I couldn’t put this book down. It was just so fascinating. I love books dealing with extreme religion, but this book is by far the best that I have read.
I was a little frustrated with her father and his wife because I didn’t feel like they did a good job explaining anything to Zylynn. I can see why that was done. It would have made the book resolve too quickly if they had explained things, but as a mother it was hard to read about their poor parenting.
Other than that one issue, this book was flawless. Middle grade fiction doesn’t always appeal too me, but this book wasn’t at all “dumbed down.” It’s very intelligent and insightful. It would spark great conversation with children and adults alike. I highly recommend it.
http://opinionatedbooklover.com/revie...
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