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NFL Confidential: True Confessions from the Gutter of Football – An Anonymous Player Reveals the Reality Behind the Game
A current pro player takes fans on a pseudonymous trip through one of the most infamous years of football—the very long, sometimes funny, often controversial 2013-2014 season—sharing raucous, behind-the-scenes, on-the-field, and in-the-locker-room truth about life in the National Football League. “Well, to hell with being safe. I’m going to be honest.” Johnny Anonymous' life goal was to be nothing greater or less than the Best NFL Back-Up of All Time™. For two years, he was content earning hundreds of thousands of dollars to stand on the sidelines doing absolutely nothing. But early in his third year, a starting lineman is injured, and he suddenly finds himself on the field. For most players, this moment is a dream come true. But not so for our author, one of the incredibly rare birds in football who reach the highest echelons, but who actually hate America’s favorite game. That’s right. Johnny Anonymous hates football. He hates what it does to his body, his brain, his life. Luckily, he can see the humor in his own situation, but also in the machinations of the NFL. Part truth-telling narrative, part whip-smart commentary that only a true insider could bring, part hilarious, NFL Confidential gives football fans a look at a world most would give anything to see, and gives non-fans a wild ride through the strange, and sometimes disturbing customs and realities of football today. Here is a truly unaffiliated look at the nation’s biggest, most lucrative pastime over the course of one of its most transformative seasons. From hard-to-stomach diets, showdowns in the weight room, shenanigans in the locker room, the looming dread of being cut from the team, the racial issues that still exist in modern-day football, the rock-star lifestyle that players find themselves able to afford and sometimes enjoy a little too much, the notion of being lauded in a league plagued by controversy and the sharp contrast between the love/hate of the game and the reality of the job, Johnny reveals a never-before-seen side of the NFL.
239 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2015
74 people are currently reading
400 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 122 reviews
February 26, 2016
Dear Johnny-not-so-anonymous,
In the first page of your book you challenge readers to discover your identity, it is the first of many displays of your arrogance. I won't out you here but let's just say it takes about 3 seconds with working internet to uncover your identity.
Moving on. I don't really care about your "subtle" racism, homophobia and sexism - surprisingly that bothers me the least. Bottom line: your book is terrible. Your writing is terrible. You're so un-creative that you have to swear 30 times a page to get anyone's attention. You love yourself beyond belief and it seeps through every page making it almost unreadable. I did read it however. I read it in two days so I'll give you that...even if the likely reason was to get it over with as quickly as possible.
So now that I've finished reading your book, the question remains: What do you hate about the NFL? Surely there's more interesting, egregious politics beyond the scenes than you dare to mention in the book. It is obvious that contract players are treated better than backups and that football is hard on the body, so all I really learned is that you think everyone is beneath you--stupider than you, less funny than you, even a worse football player than you. I also unfortunately learned that you like big "tits", take big "shits" and that you couldn't have on-field chemistry with an openly gay player. What all this means is that this book is about you. It's a narcissistic tale to fuel your already massive ego. It's a horribly written autobiography masquerading as an insightful piece of literature intended to out the injustices of the NFL.
And lastly - what I also learned - is that you don't hate the NFL for any of the reasons you should. You hate the NFL because it doesn't love you as much as you love yourself.
This review might come off as angry but I'm not angry, it's just a really, really bad book with a very misleading title.'
Best,
Anonymous
In the first page of your book you challenge readers to discover your identity, it is the first of many displays of your arrogance. I won't out you here but let's just say it takes about 3 seconds with working internet to uncover your identity.
Moving on. I don't really care about your "subtle" racism, homophobia and sexism - surprisingly that bothers me the least. Bottom line: your book is terrible. Your writing is terrible. You're so un-creative that you have to swear 30 times a page to get anyone's attention. You love yourself beyond belief and it seeps through every page making it almost unreadable. I did read it however. I read it in two days so I'll give you that...even if the likely reason was to get it over with as quickly as possible.
So now that I've finished reading your book, the question remains: What do you hate about the NFL? Surely there's more interesting, egregious politics beyond the scenes than you dare to mention in the book. It is obvious that contract players are treated better than backups and that football is hard on the body, so all I really learned is that you think everyone is beneath you--stupider than you, less funny than you, even a worse football player than you. I also unfortunately learned that you like big "tits", take big "shits" and that you couldn't have on-field chemistry with an openly gay player. What all this means is that this book is about you. It's a narcissistic tale to fuel your already massive ego. It's a horribly written autobiography masquerading as an insightful piece of literature intended to out the injustices of the NFL.
And lastly - what I also learned - is that you don't hate the NFL for any of the reasons you should. You hate the NFL because it doesn't love you as much as you love yourself.
This review might come off as angry but I'm not angry, it's just a really, really bad book with a very misleading title.'
Best,
Anonymous
January 13, 2016
This book isn't for everyone, not surprisingly. Hell, I'm not even sure it's for football fans. But it is damn entertaining. Sure, the writing isn't Tolstoy and it wasn't some in-depth, undercover journalism piece like some were expecting. But it's an honest one-man perspective of one of the few jobs that the nation is obsessed with. Where millions of people are watching you and yet, you can still end up being 'Anonymous' and get paid bank for it.
I admit at first his pessimism and sometimes whininess were tough to get through. It could even be contagious at times, but so could the hopeful and powerful moments he takes the readers through. It reads like a journal, which I don't mind- it's got 'Confessions' in the title, I was prepared! His stories were a refreshing new take on football. Something HBO's 'Hard Knocks' tries to get across, but I've always felt fell short.
His stories also had me laughing, constantly. He's a smart ass and a know-it-all. Probably my favorite part of this book is his depiction of how his fellow teammates, coaches and he himself developed over the course of the book.
Overall I wanted to read more. The Epilogue went over some things that happened the following year, but I was already hooked. What did this wise-cracking, pessimist-who despite his best efforts, can't let the game go-have to say about this new year in the league? What about that next year, Johnny?
I admit at first his pessimism and sometimes whininess were tough to get through. It could even be contagious at times, but so could the hopeful and powerful moments he takes the readers through. It reads like a journal, which I don't mind- it's got 'Confessions' in the title, I was prepared! His stories were a refreshing new take on football. Something HBO's 'Hard Knocks' tries to get across, but I've always felt fell short.
His stories also had me laughing, constantly. He's a smart ass and a know-it-all. Probably my favorite part of this book is his depiction of how his fellow teammates, coaches and he himself developed over the course of the book.
Overall I wanted to read more. The Epilogue went over some things that happened the following year, but I was already hooked. What did this wise-cracking, pessimist-who despite his best efforts, can't let the game go-have to say about this new year in the league? What about that next year, Johnny?
February 13, 2016
If this had been billed as something else, I probably wouldn't be so quick to give it a terrible rating. However, "Johnny Anonymous" opens with vulgar disparaging remarks about the horrors of his profession and everyone in it, but then he fills the pages with anecdotal stories that reveal how he is exactly everything he purports to hate about the NFL. Political drama? Objectification of women? Primal aggressive behavior? Working as little as possible to rake in that giant NFL salary? While he pontificates about how atrocious all of those things are, all of his stories capitalize on his engagement in them, which is where any appeal of this book actually comes from. Oh, but he's so deep and sensitive, guys: he centers himself by walking around the mall and buying expensive things from J. Crew on sale. Move over, Mother Teresa. On top of that, his stories are not shocking "confessions from the gutter of football"; rather, this is a collection of moderately entertaining tales that you would expect from an NFL player. Reading that the star quarterback has no personality, some of the guys are alcoholics, and that you hold your poop for a few days to make weight aren't earth-shattering revelations.
What bothers me most about this book is that he wrote it all under the cloak of anonymity, yet he revealed enough that anyone with a moderate amount of knowledge about the NFL during that season could probably figure out his identity (please note that I am not a member of this group). His stories aren't scandalous enough that the NFL would come after him, so it seems more like Johnny Anonymous is none more than a foul-mouthed kid who wanted to make a few extra bucks without earning himself the ire of the colleagues he threw under the bus to make those dollars.
What bothers me most about this book is that he wrote it all under the cloak of anonymity, yet he revealed enough that anyone with a moderate amount of knowledge about the NFL during that season could probably figure out his identity (please note that I am not a member of this group). His stories aren't scandalous enough that the NFL would come after him, so it seems more like Johnny Anonymous is none more than a foul-mouthed kid who wanted to make a few extra bucks without earning himself the ire of the colleagues he threw under the bus to make those dollars.
January 24, 2016
Does anyone remember the ESPN series, "Playmakers"? It was an excellent TV show about a fictional pro football team in a league that was *not* the NFL. But it must have cut too close to home for the actual league because it was cancelled despite good reviews and ratings - unless ESPN wanted to say bye-bye to its lucrative NFL contract.
The issues depicted in "Playmakers" is probably the most genuine representation of what it’s like to play American football in the modern day. I was hoping that by being authored by an anonymous player, this book could at least come close to being as raw and uncompromising as the ESPN scripted series was.
Um... it does not.
It is an entertaining book. And the author can often turn a clever turn of phrase. But he is not as talented a writer as Nate Jackson - whose "Slow Getting Up" is a MUCH better book. Indeed, while I enjoy a good swear word often, I was often distracted by the writer's overuse of variations of "fuck", "shit" and other profanities. At least he could have thrown in a "damn" in order to avoid some repetition.
The result is a book that offers these scintillating insights:
-The writer had to eat a lot and hold in his feces to make his weight... Tantalizing?
-The black people and the white people on the team sit at different tables in the cafeteria... Shocking?
-Young NFL players often drank to excess and even used marijuana. Also Tinder is used to sleep with women... Scandal?
I don't mean to diminish the actual issues involved. Indeed, the story of the center who can't get it together and drinks as a result - deepening his performance issues off and on the field - is the most resonant story depicted. But the writer treats the various matters in such a shallow manner is makes it hard for the reader to get interested. Not to mention that much of the subject matter is something that can be easily gleaned from a one-hour episode of HBO's "Hard Knocks".
I would like to know from a player's perspective WHY players of different races never socialize. How about some robust advocacy to let the players use marijuana - especially for relief from the pain the author sometimes relates as being excruciating?
Where Mr. Anonymous fumbles for sure is his take on gay players - another topic in which he gives no depth to his perspective. His main finding is that gay players should stay in the closet because it would upset the locker room dynamic? But wait, I thought the team dynamic was already split along racial lines? Oh, apparently players like to literally swing their dicks around and if a gay guy were around he might see their genitals and... well, I don't know. Of course, none of this takes into account that there are assuredly gay players already playing from inside the closet - yet somehow man-on-man rape hasn't been a huge problem in the NFL the same way domestic violence has become. The author comes off as an arrogant, uneducated meat-head when giving his thoughts about Michael Sam. A very strong preference would involve him just stating he thinks gays are disgusting and doesn't want them on his team. More straightforward and to-the-point.
A quick note on the author's anonymity - the tame confessions in the book don't require such a drastic measure. In the introduction the author challenges the reader to figure out who he is. Perhaps he hasn't heard of reddit but /r/nfl figured out who he was before the book was even released. Indeed, as a Dallas Cowboys fan the descriptions of the anonymous team in the book screamed the Philadelphia Eagles (or iggles, as Cowboys Nation refers to them). I almost wonder if the "anonymity" was used as a marketing ploy. I guess we'll see if sales in the long run bear this out.
Criticisms aside, this is an easy, quick read that I would recommend to football fans... But only after you've read the Nate Jackson book and "Against Football" by Steve Almond for good measure. Those works offer more stories and insights pertinent to the most American pastime.
The issues depicted in "Playmakers" is probably the most genuine representation of what it’s like to play American football in the modern day. I was hoping that by being authored by an anonymous player, this book could at least come close to being as raw and uncompromising as the ESPN scripted series was.
Um... it does not.
It is an entertaining book. And the author can often turn a clever turn of phrase. But he is not as talented a writer as Nate Jackson - whose "Slow Getting Up" is a MUCH better book. Indeed, while I enjoy a good swear word often, I was often distracted by the writer's overuse of variations of "fuck", "shit" and other profanities. At least he could have thrown in a "damn" in order to avoid some repetition.
The result is a book that offers these scintillating insights:
-The writer had to eat a lot and hold in his feces to make his weight... Tantalizing?
-The black people and the white people on the team sit at different tables in the cafeteria... Shocking?
-Young NFL players often drank to excess and even used marijuana. Also Tinder is used to sleep with women... Scandal?
I don't mean to diminish the actual issues involved. Indeed, the story of the center who can't get it together and drinks as a result - deepening his performance issues off and on the field - is the most resonant story depicted. But the writer treats the various matters in such a shallow manner is makes it hard for the reader to get interested. Not to mention that much of the subject matter is something that can be easily gleaned from a one-hour episode of HBO's "Hard Knocks".
I would like to know from a player's perspective WHY players of different races never socialize. How about some robust advocacy to let the players use marijuana - especially for relief from the pain the author sometimes relates as being excruciating?
Where Mr. Anonymous fumbles for sure is his take on gay players - another topic in which he gives no depth to his perspective. His main finding is that gay players should stay in the closet because it would upset the locker room dynamic? But wait, I thought the team dynamic was already split along racial lines? Oh, apparently players like to literally swing their dicks around and if a gay guy were around he might see their genitals and... well, I don't know. Of course, none of this takes into account that there are assuredly gay players already playing from inside the closet - yet somehow man-on-man rape hasn't been a huge problem in the NFL the same way domestic violence has become. The author comes off as an arrogant, uneducated meat-head when giving his thoughts about Michael Sam. A very strong preference would involve him just stating he thinks gays are disgusting and doesn't want them on his team. More straightforward and to-the-point.
A quick note on the author's anonymity - the tame confessions in the book don't require such a drastic measure. In the introduction the author challenges the reader to figure out who he is. Perhaps he hasn't heard of reddit but /r/nfl figured out who he was before the book was even released. Indeed, as a Dallas Cowboys fan the descriptions of the anonymous team in the book screamed the Philadelphia Eagles (or iggles, as Cowboys Nation refers to them). I almost wonder if the "anonymity" was used as a marketing ploy. I guess we'll see if sales in the long run bear this out.
Criticisms aside, this is an easy, quick read that I would recommend to football fans... But only after you've read the Nate Jackson book and "Against Football" by Steve Almond for good measure. Those works offer more stories and insights pertinent to the most American pastime.
January 7, 2016
My sleep-deprived brain can't handle a real book right now, so I thought I'd pick this one up. I don't understand how it got the green light. It's just all sorts of bad - content, writing, tone, attitude - though I don't really know what I was expecting.
January 22, 2016
This is a quick and almost thoroughly entertaining read. The tone is similar to Corey Taylor (of "Slipknot" and "Stone Sour" fame)'s memoir "Seven Deadly Sins," language and all, but this is far more linear and easier to follow.
There were several times when I disturbed my significant others' reading when "Johnny" made me laugh out loud.
If you're looking for an exposé about how the NFL fixes games or plugs linemen into machines that feed them intravenously, or maybe even a book that says, "This player is truly a jerk and that player is, too," this isn't it. The title is a bit misleading. There are not a lot of revelations to anyone who has followed the sport in the last 20 years. We know the NFL doesn't care about most of its players - it only cares about its image and its income. No shocker.
I invite people who either enjoy the NFL and/or a well-told anecdote to crack the cover.
BTW, a quick internet search will reveal who, in all likelyhood, Johnny Anonymous really is. It's likely he chose the nom de plume because it was more likely to draw interest in the book than his real name would. The supposed secrecy is a marketing ploy, because, again, he doesn't really throw any new info about his organization that we didn't already, at the very least, strongly suspect.
There were several times when I disturbed my significant others' reading when "Johnny" made me laugh out loud.
If you're looking for an exposé about how the NFL fixes games or plugs linemen into machines that feed them intravenously, or maybe even a book that says, "This player is truly a jerk and that player is, too," this isn't it. The title is a bit misleading. There are not a lot of revelations to anyone who has followed the sport in the last 20 years. We know the NFL doesn't care about most of its players - it only cares about its image and its income. No shocker.
I invite people who either enjoy the NFL and/or a well-told anecdote to crack the cover.
BTW, a quick internet search will reveal who, in all likelyhood, Johnny Anonymous really is. It's likely he chose the nom de plume because it was more likely to draw interest in the book than his real name would. The supposed secrecy is a marketing ploy, because, again, he doesn't really throw any new info about his organization that we didn't already, at the very least, strongly suspect.
August 4, 2016
3.5 stars
It's been months now since I've read this so I can't give a specific review. Here's what I recall: there was no earth shattering revelations. Meaning that very little surprised me. The insider details were about what I expected.
The player was actually rather arrogant. Sneering at how superior he was to the average player and even the adminstration.
I'm wondering why I gave it an extra half star?
It was readable and I definitely recommend it to NFL fans. It's interesting despite the personality of Johnny Anonymous.
He claims to still be active but I wonder if he's still on a team as the 2016 season is nigh.
It's been months now since I've read this so I can't give a specific review. Here's what I recall: there was no earth shattering revelations. Meaning that very little surprised me. The insider details were about what I expected.
The player was actually rather arrogant. Sneering at how superior he was to the average player and even the adminstration.
I'm wondering why I gave it an extra half star?
It was readable and I definitely recommend it to NFL fans. It's interesting despite the personality of Johnny Anonymous.
He claims to still be active but I wonder if he's still on a team as the 2016 season is nigh.
December 7, 2016
I didn't expect much after seeing the abysmal reviews, but honestly, this book is very entertaining. A super-quick read that you are not going to want to put down.
I don't think there are any huge revelations or scandals revealed, but it certainly is a fascinating look inside the NFL. Having the perspective of a mediocre player is a huge strength, since that angle is rarely explored these days.
All in all a pleasant surprise!
I don't think there are any huge revelations or scandals revealed, but it certainly is a fascinating look inside the NFL. Having the perspective of a mediocre player is a huge strength, since that angle is rarely explored these days.
All in all a pleasant surprise!
December 31, 2017
If you go in understanding that this book is a candid memoir of one player's season, rather than an exposé of the seedy underbelly of the league (like the marketing would lead you to believe), you'll be in the right frame of mind to enjoy the book. It's not groundbreaking, but it's enjoyable. It's a nuts-and-bolts football book, for people who enjoy reading ESPN and MMQB and such.
June 11, 2022
I’m always intrigued by books like this where you get the “behind the scenes” perspective of former players and athletes. Shortly after this book came out, readers were able to figure out who the author of the book was. It turned out to be a player I was a big fan of from my favorite college team, a player I had really admired in his college career. Knowing who it was, it made sense the way it was written from his perspective. The business aspect of the NFL really features strongly in his commentary and really reinforces many of the concepts we assumed about the league. Very interesting read for sports fans and football fans in particular.
September 5, 2017
I call bullshit. Johnny Anonymous loves football. He probably hates what the nfl has made of it, but he still loves the game.
Either way, this book was immensely entertaining, funny and a cool look into the life of a player (who seemingly is in denial about his circumstances). Still freaking loved it.
Either way, this book was immensely entertaining, funny and a cool look into the life of a player (who seemingly is in denial about his circumstances). Still freaking loved it.
January 23, 2016
We all have weak points, and I am pretty sure that my love of the NFL is probably one of them. Given that every time I think about the darker side of the NFL--the injuries, including but not limited to debilitating head injuries that can lead to serious mental health issues and possibly suicide, the rampant drug abuse of both the performance and non-performance enhancing variety, and the domestic violence that seems to go hand in hand with a small minority of the league...well it's enough to make me want to take a shower every time I watch a football game. Throw in the fact that I am a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan, a team that takes being consistently terrible seriously (they've been feeding me the same shit sandwich for sixteen years and I keep telling everyone how delicious it is) and you can tell that for me, the NFL is like a metaphysical crack cocaine for me. I simply can't quit it.
This appears to be the case for "Johnny Anonymous" the author of NFL Confidential: True Confessions from the Gutter of Football. Except unlike myself, Johnny is a player and while he purports to hate the NFL, he also can't quit it. Of course for Johnny, it is also his chosen profession and even sitting the sidelines as he does, he still makes pretty good coin on league minimum...there's just that whole thing about him potentially destroying his body and mind in the process which has him scared shitless. In Johnny's estimation, the NFL really doesn't care about this...they care about what's good for business and if it chews up and spits out someone like Johnny in the process, that's how it has to be. The machine must be fed.
While I found Johnny's narrative a compelling read, I don't trust it because Johnny tells us that he must change the names of people and places, lest his NFL career be placed in jeopardy by a league that doesn't like to look bad (even if it does such a great job of doing it itself.) But unfortunately since Johnny is unwilling to put his true identity behind his narrative, you are always going to be asking yourself if it is true. The amazing thing is that Johnny really doesn't do a great job of representing the NFL as a gutter...it seems like it's just like the rest of corporate America, where the business has need of you until they don't and you're in a constant rat-race trying to stay relevant. Johnny is just cognizant enough to understand that his shelf life is limited, and I think that's what really bothers him about all of this.
This appears to be the case for "Johnny Anonymous" the author of NFL Confidential: True Confessions from the Gutter of Football. Except unlike myself, Johnny is a player and while he purports to hate the NFL, he also can't quit it. Of course for Johnny, it is also his chosen profession and even sitting the sidelines as he does, he still makes pretty good coin on league minimum...there's just that whole thing about him potentially destroying his body and mind in the process which has him scared shitless. In Johnny's estimation, the NFL really doesn't care about this...they care about what's good for business and if it chews up and spits out someone like Johnny in the process, that's how it has to be. The machine must be fed.
While I found Johnny's narrative a compelling read, I don't trust it because Johnny tells us that he must change the names of people and places, lest his NFL career be placed in jeopardy by a league that doesn't like to look bad (even if it does such a great job of doing it itself.) But unfortunately since Johnny is unwilling to put his true identity behind his narrative, you are always going to be asking yourself if it is true. The amazing thing is that Johnny really doesn't do a great job of representing the NFL as a gutter...it seems like it's just like the rest of corporate America, where the business has need of you until they don't and you're in a constant rat-race trying to stay relevant. Johnny is just cognizant enough to understand that his shelf life is limited, and I think that's what really bothers him about all of this.
May 17, 2024
This book was terrible. No other way to put this - under no circumstance should you read this book. Please let my suffering through the book be the martyrs price so others are spared from this terrible, terrible book. Why did I continue? So nobody could say to me that I could not have an opinion because I didn’t finish it. It seems so hypocritical that this author speaks about how bad the NFL is all the while oozing homophobia, misogyny, narcissism, unkindness and male bravado (all anonymously). His constant “ I hate football” then “I love football” is nauseating. I understand that the NFL has its issues but the way he talks about Micheal Sam in this book is truly terrible. There is no sympathy, no kindness from this author and I did not like him one bit. I am fortunate to know somebody who played for 11 years in the NFL and he is one of the kindest, sweetest and most generous human I know. He needs to write a book to balance out this garbage. I forgot to add that his description of a high school football team was so arrogant and ignorant - he spent most of the description making fun of their lack of skill, appearance and size. He has no concept about humanity and what it takes to help and support people. .
January 13, 2016
I'd give this 1.5 stars. The only thing keeping me from giving it a one star is it's about football. That being said, the author is bitter about life, football, women, authority, basically everything. The poor guy only makes half a million dollars a year playing a game. What a complete butthole he is. And the language. These are professional football players. I didn't expect to have Sunday School language but, my goodness, 10 profanities per page gets to be a little much. The book didn't reveal any secrets or inside information. As you might have guessed, I don't recommend this book.
January 18, 2016
I actually chose this book as an audio book. I found it quite entertaining as well as informative. Have you ever wondered how you would describe your "job" to someone on the outside? I think Johnny has done a fine job in describing the many emotions that make up a year as a pro player. I love watching football, but this book has offered me a better understanding of what the player's life may be like. It was crude, politically incorrect and even vulgar- but, a great listen/read.
January 25, 2016
Adolescent with pre-adolescent writing ability whines about his hard life. He throws in heap of obscenity (one chapter is cleverly called F**k) with lots of 1950's sexism and a dash of racism that will confirm your worse fears about the NFL. He is so clearly clueless about his financial entitlement that he could be a poster child for it. He is the guy at the party who thinks he is the coolest guy but produces more eye rolls per square inch than anyone there.
October 10, 2016
3.5 stars. This was rather entertaining.
February 5, 2018
Funny and interesting to read!
Hilarious! Even if this is just a scam of a story, it was comical enough to hold my attention throughout!
Hilarious! Even if this is just a scam of a story, it was comical enough to hold my attention throughout!
July 2, 2022
This is a good book about football--one man complaining from the trenches. After I adjusted to the gratuitous, junior-high profanity, I was able to find some interesting nuggets hidden inside the thin volume. It's an easy read, a quick book, and I believe it is probably a pretty fair picture of life in the NFL, particularly for the journeymen, the regular Joe, the brick who is not a marquis star but just a regular player. Some of his insights about the coaching staff and the politics that control so many decisions were particularly interesting.
While reading the book I often found myself wondering about the identity of the real JOHNNY ANONYMOUS. Books by anonymous authors rarely remain anonymous. And after I finished the book I discovered that before the book had been out even one month, Johnny had been identified. One of those who tracked him down did not even read the book, but read the promotional material and the epilogue and figured it out. So I read about the author, David Molk. Turns out, Johnny Anonymous might have been more interesting. Being from Texas, I had never heard of Molk, him being a back up center from Philadelphia, after all. I don't even know the names of 1st-string centers in Houston or Dallas. Still, it was a good read.
Some quotes:
On playing for a big college program: "The game wasn't a game. It was a full-time job. Nothing in my life was left to chance. Nothing. From the moment I stepped onto campus, every minute of every day was scheduled, choreographed, and controlled by the program. There was an entire team of people who existed only to make sure OUR team didn't fuck up. They made sure we ate the right things. That we lifted the right weights. That we went to the right classes at the right times at the right places. They definitely made sure we turned our homework in. And if we couldn't do it, they'd do it for us."
"I hate how much the NFL focuses on winning. Drives me nuts. The League markets winning as a matter of pride and honor. Like there's a morality behind it, and if we win, that somehow means we're good human beings, and if we lose, we're scum. That's all garbage. It's simple economics. If we lose, fans won't like us. If fans don't like us, they don't buy our shit. If they don't buy our shit, we're out of fucking jobs."
"Call me a masochist, but I actually enjoy a good serious relationship talk every now and then. I approach it analytically. Not like a shrink so much as a mathematician. I know what she responds to, what she doesn't. If something works, I do more of it. If something doesn't, I change tack."
"Go ahead and laugh. But that dog has helped me adjust to life in the NFL more than any sports psychologist ever could. Taking care of Riley filled a void in my life I didn't even know existed. I can go to work, [O. Line Coach] Lopez can scream at me for an hour straight, and I can go home, look at that silly, adorable little dog, and everything is okay again."
While reading the book I often found myself wondering about the identity of the real JOHNNY ANONYMOUS. Books by anonymous authors rarely remain anonymous. And after I finished the book I discovered that before the book had been out even one month, Johnny had been identified. One of those who tracked him down did not even read the book, but read the promotional material and the epilogue and figured it out. So I read about the author, David Molk. Turns out, Johnny Anonymous might have been more interesting. Being from Texas, I had never heard of Molk, him being a back up center from Philadelphia, after all. I don't even know the names of 1st-string centers in Houston or Dallas. Still, it was a good read.
Some quotes:
On playing for a big college program: "The game wasn't a game. It was a full-time job. Nothing in my life was left to chance. Nothing. From the moment I stepped onto campus, every minute of every day was scheduled, choreographed, and controlled by the program. There was an entire team of people who existed only to make sure OUR team didn't fuck up. They made sure we ate the right things. That we lifted the right weights. That we went to the right classes at the right times at the right places. They definitely made sure we turned our homework in. And if we couldn't do it, they'd do it for us."
"I hate how much the NFL focuses on winning. Drives me nuts. The League markets winning as a matter of pride and honor. Like there's a morality behind it, and if we win, that somehow means we're good human beings, and if we lose, we're scum. That's all garbage. It's simple economics. If we lose, fans won't like us. If fans don't like us, they don't buy our shit. If they don't buy our shit, we're out of fucking jobs."
"Call me a masochist, but I actually enjoy a good serious relationship talk every now and then. I approach it analytically. Not like a shrink so much as a mathematician. I know what she responds to, what she doesn't. If something works, I do more of it. If something doesn't, I change tack."
"Go ahead and laugh. But that dog has helped me adjust to life in the NFL more than any sports psychologist ever could. Taking care of Riley filled a void in my life I didn't even know existed. I can go to work, [O. Line Coach] Lopez can scream at me for an hour straight, and I can go home, look at that silly, adorable little dog, and everything is okay again."
May 17, 2020
Good book, well-written, humorous, worth my time.
(Note: semi-spoiler re story arc in last paragraph, so cover with your hand if you don't want to know.)
I enjoyed this book. It's a semi-autobiographical pastiche of what it's like to be a back-up player, often in doubt as to how long you'll be on the team, if you'll play at all, whether you even want to. In a general way he captures the player characters, the feel of the locker room, the practices, etc. It's well-written, with touches of humor: '..premature evisceration.' (coach balls out a guy privately in his office, then finds he doesn't have the juice to bawl the guy out in front of the rest of the guys in the O-line meeting). Good writing.
He grumbles and carps about the whole business of football and the NFL, but he's never mean, and he owns his own part in all this.
Okay, here's the semi-spoiler: he grumbles and carps, but he does get to start for awhile before going back on the bench, and he somewhat grudgingly admits by the end of the book that he actually loves playing the game and that he'll keep playing if he can.
(Note: semi-spoiler re story arc in last paragraph, so cover with your hand if you don't want to know.)
I enjoyed this book. It's a semi-autobiographical pastiche of what it's like to be a back-up player, often in doubt as to how long you'll be on the team, if you'll play at all, whether you even want to. In a general way he captures the player characters, the feel of the locker room, the practices, etc. It's well-written, with touches of humor: '..premature evisceration.' (coach balls out a guy privately in his office, then finds he doesn't have the juice to bawl the guy out in front of the rest of the guys in the O-line meeting). Good writing.
He grumbles and carps about the whole business of football and the NFL, but he's never mean, and he owns his own part in all this.
Okay, here's the semi-spoiler: he grumbles and carps, but he does get to start for awhile before going back on the bench, and he somewhat grudgingly admits by the end of the book that he actually loves playing the game and that he'll keep playing if he can.
March 17, 2017
Wow, talk about a book you couldn't put down. I started and then didn't stop. I started one day and finished the next. This is only the second book like this I have read, the other being Tim Greens, the Dark Side of the game. Normal FB books written by coaches, athletes, or anyone really, they never tell you the truth that you know must exist. We know how cut-throat the business is but when you read a normal FB book they just say; I am so great, building a champion etc. You actually get to see some of the human side of the players. Example: normal book, quirky players - this guy is a genius, that guy drove his Harley down the escalator. This book - that guy is a genius, that guy is not. Were normal humans who play football. AND this is what its really like. Here in this book, men are not super human legends but men. Just men. If you want a real glimpse into life as a NFL player, trust me. This is as good as it gets. I have read every book on FB on the island of OAHU.
Read
August 16, 2025I gave this book zero stars. I have read books before that are not good . I have read a few that were maybe beyond not good. This one��s in that category of beyond not very good . Notice I don’t say bad. Book critics read a lot of books including the ones that are not good , they have to do they can write honest to god reviews and opinions. This book is sattire about the biggest and richest sports league in the whole world and I laughed maybe a couple times, but in reality this book sounds pretty accurate from a football fan like myself who watches football on TV , has read some books about football and have come to the conclusion that the NFL and other pro leagues are meat grinders and about making millions and millions of dollars. Power and money buys pro sports teams and power and money buys $200-400 million dollar sorts venues. When you see a country in fast decline and sports , power and money are skyrocketing there is a problem , a very big problem.
September 27, 2017
It’s okay.
I really wanted to like this book more than I did. It’s a good fast read, there are insights, there are haha moments, but it’s basically everything you probably knew already, so it’s maybe just a tad predictable. I was curious if I could google the author’s identity - assuming his facts about himself are true - but toward the end, I really didn’t care. I’ll respect his privacy. The bottom line that’s validated here is professional football is a corporate business, and while there’ll always be a handful of superstar celebrities we’ll follow on social media or whatever, for the rest of the 2000 pros who play the game it’s a job. Like any other job. Maybe more risks than reward.
I really wanted to like this book more than I did. It’s a good fast read, there are insights, there are haha moments, but it’s basically everything you probably knew already, so it’s maybe just a tad predictable. I was curious if I could google the author’s identity - assuming his facts about himself are true - but toward the end, I really didn’t care. I’ll respect his privacy. The bottom line that’s validated here is professional football is a corporate business, and while there’ll always be a handful of superstar celebrities we’ll follow on social media or whatever, for the rest of the 2000 pros who play the game it’s a job. Like any other job. Maybe more risks than reward.
September 4, 2021
Fun light read.
This book proves the rule: If you can write something entertaining your technique doesn't matter much. If what you're saying is boring no one cares how well you can write.
I read the physical book over a couple nights. There are a lot of mangled sentences here. I didn't care.
This book reads like an NFL lineman at the bar is telling you how the NFL truly is. The lineman is well spoken, intelligent, and honest. I loved it.
The anonymous writer does dish some dirt on the NFL. But what surprised me was how endearing and introspective some sections were. He has real perspective on competitors and the nature of men.
He also speaks with a genuine love of the game. This book got me psyched for football season.
This book proves the rule: If you can write something entertaining your technique doesn't matter much. If what you're saying is boring no one cares how well you can write.
I read the physical book over a couple nights. There are a lot of mangled sentences here. I didn't care.
This book reads like an NFL lineman at the bar is telling you how the NFL truly is. The lineman is well spoken, intelligent, and honest. I loved it.
The anonymous writer does dish some dirt on the NFL. But what surprised me was how endearing and introspective some sections were. He has real perspective on competitors and the nature of men.
He also speaks with a genuine love of the game. This book got me psyched for football season.
October 22, 2017
The author'r reason for wanting anonymity likely has little to do with his revelations on life as an NFL player; or the league. Rather, it's because this book reveals that Johnny Anonymous, whomever he may be, is a terrible person. But I'm sure the same would be said of all of us if one day we decided to publish our personal diary. Because that's what this is; it's a young man's personal diary edited for publication. And within its pages are things you'd expect in a diary: complaints about life job/relationships/family/insecurity/etc). Despite its flaws, this book was entertaining enough for me to read in one sitting.
June 9, 2024
this book was not for me i read it for a school assignment because i thought it would be interesting to hear an NFL players perspective on issues that really do occur and are very prominent and important but I feel like I was almost lied to it felt like he was doing a lot of complaining and not a lot of discussing issues or like really exposing them just like brief mentions here or there I really didn’t like the guys attitude towards anything or the way he spoke to the other members of his team and the interactions that he writes about
October 8, 2018
This book does reveal a little bit about the "gutter of football." However, I'm surprised about how much the NFL seems just like how football was in high school. Lots of sexism, homophobia actions, and drinking. I'm a little letdown NFL players wouldn't have more class than what was shown in this book. But I guess that the honesty of this book. It was an ok read, but about halfway through the book, I was ready for it to end because much of story started to get repeated.
November 4, 2019
Nice to read a tell-all memoir about life in the NFL. Kind of disappointing not having specific details, but a good job with the story. Especially liked that the author wasn't worried about being politically correct; in fact, he made it a point to say exactly what he thought (hence the anonymous pen name). Did a quick Google search to try and figure out the identity of the player, team, and other characters. Worth the read baby.
December 13, 2017
Pretty good read
It’s an interesting look behind the scenes of the NFL. Even a casual fan can enjoy reading the story of a young offensive lineman’s journey through a single season. I think most fans assume that players love the game and love being in the league. This book gives an insight into the downside of being in this league
It’s an interesting look behind the scenes of the NFL. Even a casual fan can enjoy reading the story of a young offensive lineman’s journey through a single season. I think most fans assume that players love the game and love being in the league. This book gives an insight into the downside of being in this league
February 19, 2019
This book is will never be seen as a piece of literature. But it is much more than the usual retired-jock books we usually get.
Rather, it tells us how the owners and the coaches use players as things, not human beings. It is told in more profanity than I have ever read in a book.
Is it ALL true? I doubt it. But there is certainly enough to drive the demand for investigations.
Rather, it tells us how the owners and the coaches use players as things, not human beings. It is told in more profanity than I have ever read in a book.
Is it ALL true? I doubt it. But there is certainly enough to drive the demand for investigations.
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