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How To Live: Rules For People Who Don't Like Rules
#1 New Release in Happiness
#1 New Release in Two-Hour Self-Help Short Reads
#2 in Emotions Self-Help
"A fresh, contrarian take on the big questions of life. Written for people who want more depth, humility, and true wisdom from their self-help books." -Booklife
Bestselling author Scott Berkun offers 26 rules that are direct, powerful, succinct, and meant to be broken - for living a more fulfilling life, and not taking yourself too seriously.
We all live by be kind, work hard, never quit. But is that all there is to a great life? Following rules? We know there must be more.
Berkun asked hundreds of people what rules they live by and discovered that it's breaking and changing our rules that defines us most. We're handed advice our entire lives, by parents, bosses, and motivational posters, and most of it useless when real life stops cooperating. How to Live is built for the 26 short rules for your one finite life, written for people who distrust anyone selling easy answers.
The advice is uniquely grounded in a wide range of sources, including personal stories, scientific research, and the wisdom of thinkers, artists, and poets, all woven together into a fun, fast-paced, entertaining read.
Readers will learn how
Discover their own rules for lifeBenefit from true wisdom without the platitudesBecome more self aware and fulfilledEnjoy life no matter what happensLive on their own terms, not inherited onesStop looking for the right rules to follow. Learn to discover your own.
#1 New Release in Two-Hour Self-Help Short Reads
#2 in Emotions Self-Help
"A fresh, contrarian take on the big questions of life. Written for people who want more depth, humility, and true wisdom from their self-help books." -Booklife
Bestselling author Scott Berkun offers 26 rules that are direct, powerful, succinct, and meant to be broken - for living a more fulfilling life, and not taking yourself too seriously.
We all live by be kind, work hard, never quit. But is that all there is to a great life? Following rules? We know there must be more.
Berkun asked hundreds of people what rules they live by and discovered that it's breaking and changing our rules that defines us most. We're handed advice our entire lives, by parents, bosses, and motivational posters, and most of it useless when real life stops cooperating. How to Live is built for the 26 short rules for your one finite life, written for people who distrust anyone selling easy answers.
The advice is uniquely grounded in a wide range of sources, including personal stories, scientific research, and the wisdom of thinkers, artists, and poets, all woven together into a fun, fast-paced, entertaining read.
Readers will learn how
Discover their own rules for lifeBenefit from true wisdom without the platitudesBecome more self aware and fulfilledEnjoy life no matter what happensLive on their own terms, not inherited onesStop looking for the right rules to follow. Learn to discover your own.
118 pages, Paperback
Published October 26, 2026
About the author
Scott Berkun
22 books347 followersScott Berkun is the bestselling author of ten books, including Making Things Happen, The Myths of Innovation, and Confessions of a Public Speaker. His work as a writer and speaker have appeared in the The Washington Post, the New York Times, Wired, The Economist, Fast Company, Forbes, CNBC, CNN, NPR and other media. His many popular essays and entertaining lectures can be found for free on his website at http://www.scottberkun.com.
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October 27, 2026
I had the opportunity to read an advance review copy of Scott Berkun's latest book, How to Live, which the author sent me.
The book tries to answer a question that has occupied philosophers for centuries: How should we live our lives?
Scott approaches this question through 26 rules, divided into four parts. He draws on his own experiences, references to philosophers, psychological research, and many interesting examples to explain them.
Most of the ideas in this book are not new. Readers familiar with Stoicism, Buddhism, existential philosophy, and modern psychology will recognise many of them. However, Scott presents these ideas in his own words, with humour and examples from his life. This makes the book interesting even when the underlying philosophy is familiar.
I found three concepts particularly interesting.
The first is Chapter 8, "Exceptions Define You", starting on page 32.
Scott asks people what rules they follow in life. Most people answer with something like "Be kind". He then asks them another question: When do you break your own rule?
This second question is more difficult to answer.
On page 32, Scott writes, "This is why our rules are defined by the exceptions."
I found this an interesting way of looking at personal values. We usually define ourselves by the principles we believe in. But our exceptions may tell us more about how we actually behave.
For example, someone may believe in honesty but make exceptions whenever honesty becomes inconvenient. Someone may consider family important but consistently prioritise work.
This concept relates to Aristotle's ideas about character and the psychological theory of cognitive dissonance. So the underlying idea is not new. But Scott's way of asking the question makes it useful for examining our own behaviour.
The second interesting concept is Chapter 24, "Chase Dreams", starting on page 86.
Scott explains the difference between polishing a dream and chasing a dream.
Polishing a dream means repeatedly imagining a future achievement without doing anything to make it happen. Chasing a dream means taking action, spending time and resources, and accepting the possibility of failure.
On page 87, Scott writes, "Chasing a dream gives you self-knowledge."
I liked this distinction. We may spend years imagining a project, a career change, or an achievement. Imagination itself can give us satisfaction, even when we make no progress.
Scott suggests that attempting something teaches us more about ourselves than simply imagining it. Even when we fail, we learn whether the dream was worth pursuing.
This concept has similarities with experiential learning and psychology research on positive fantasies and motivation. Still, the distinction between polishing and chasing dreams is explained in a simple and memorable way.
The third concept is Chapter 25, "Make Decisions", starting on page 88.
Scott divides decisions into two categories: passive decisions and active decisions.
On page 89, he defines them as:
"Passive decisions: decisions life puts in front of you"
"Active decisions: decisions you force into existence"
He explains this with the example of a friend inviting you for coffee. Accepting or declining the invitation is a passive decision because someone else created the opportunity. Inviting the friend yourself is an active decision.
I found this a useful distinction. Many times, we believe we are making decisions, but we are only choosing from the options others have made available to us.
Active decisions create new possibilities. They also require more effort and involve more risk.
This idea has similarities with existential philosophy and the psychological concept of proactive behaviour. But Scott's explanation makes it easy to apply to everyday life.
Some points need a more critical reading, especially for readers interested in philosophy.
The book simplifies several philosophical and psychological concepts. This helps in explaining them to a general audience, but sometimes the simplification goes too far.
For example, in Chapter 1, "Don't Die", Scott argues that death gives meaning to life. He suggests that immortality would make time worthless and life increasingly empty.
I do not find this argument entirely convincing. The fact that something is unlimited does not necessarily make it worthless. Even an immortal person could value relationships, learning, and individual experiences. Mortality may encourage us to appreciate life, but that does not prove that life requires death to have meaning.
In Chapter 6, "Choose Expectations", Scott uses an interesting example of an unpleasant macaroni-and-cheese meal. The same meal would become valuable if someone were starving on a deserted island.
The example explains how circumstances change our expectations. However, I felt that the conclusion is somewhat simplified. The situation changes not only expectations but also hunger, available choices, and the need for survival. These factors also explain why the meal becomes valuable.
Another example appears in Chapter 23, "Outwork the Problem". Scott encourages readers to overcome difficulties through effort and practice.
The advice is motivating, but effort alone cannot overcome every limitation. Physical abilities, health, resources, opportunities, and luck also matter. Interestingly, Scott discusses the importance of luck in Chapter 18, "Embrace Luck". These two chapters would benefit from a clearer connection.
I also felt that Chapter 4, "Feelings Are Friends", needs some care in interpretation. On pages 18–19, Scott discusses how emotions can fade and suggests that prolonged anxiety or anger may involve choosing not to let something go. This may be true in some situations, but persistent emotional distress is not always a matter of choice.
These are not reasons to reject the book. They are reasons to read it thoughtfully. Scott himself argues in Chapter 12, "Good Rules Contradict", that advice can be useful in one situation and unsuitable in another. I think this is also the right approach to reading his own 26 rules.
There are several things I liked about the book.
Scott is open about his personal experiences. His accounts of serious illness, losing his voice, dealing with psychological distress, and facing uncertainty make his arguments more personal. He does not present himself as someone who has always followed his own advice successfully.
The humour is another strong point. The book discusses death, disappointment, regret, and other difficult subjects without becoming unnecessarily serious. Some examples are exaggerated, but they make the discussion enjoyable.
I also liked the references to philosophers, books, and psychological research. Scott mentions thinkers such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Nietzsche, Alan Watts, and others. These references provide opportunities for further reading. I found myself wanting to explore some of the referenced works, just as I did while reading his earlier book, The Myths of Innovation.
Another good thing is the short chapter structure. Each rule can be read independently. Readers can return to a particular chapter when they encounter a situation where that rule may be useful.
The book also encourages readers to question its advice rather than blindly accept it. I appreciate this approach. A book about living well should make readers think, not simply provide another list of instructions to follow.
Why should someone read this book?
I would recommend this book to readers who want an accessible introduction to practical philosophy and self-reflection.
It will be particularly useful for people who have not extensively studied philosophy or psychology. Many familiar ideas are presented through everyday situations, making them easier to understand and examine.
Readers who are already familiar with these subjects may not discover many new philosophical ideas. For them, the value is in Scott's presentation, the examples, and a few useful distinctions such as exceptions defining our behaviour, polishing versus chasing dreams, and active versus passive decisions.
The book does not provide a complete or logically consistent theory of how to live. I do not think such a theory can be developed through 26 short rules anyway. But it gives readers several questions worth asking themselves.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. It made me reconsider some of my own assumptions and examine the difference between what I believe, what I want to achieve, and what I actually do.
For me, the most useful takeaway is not any one rule. It is the habit of questioning our own rules, examining their exceptions, and testing our ideas through action.
That makes the book worth reading, even if you disagree with some of Scott's conclusions.
The book tries to answer a question that has occupied philosophers for centuries: How should we live our lives?
Scott approaches this question through 26 rules, divided into four parts. He draws on his own experiences, references to philosophers, psychological research, and many interesting examples to explain them.
Most of the ideas in this book are not new. Readers familiar with Stoicism, Buddhism, existential philosophy, and modern psychology will recognise many of them. However, Scott presents these ideas in his own words, with humour and examples from his life. This makes the book interesting even when the underlying philosophy is familiar.
I found three concepts particularly interesting.
The first is Chapter 8, "Exceptions Define You", starting on page 32.
Scott asks people what rules they follow in life. Most people answer with something like "Be kind". He then asks them another question: When do you break your own rule?
This second question is more difficult to answer.
On page 32, Scott writes, "This is why our rules are defined by the exceptions."
I found this an interesting way of looking at personal values. We usually define ourselves by the principles we believe in. But our exceptions may tell us more about how we actually behave.
For example, someone may believe in honesty but make exceptions whenever honesty becomes inconvenient. Someone may consider family important but consistently prioritise work.
This concept relates to Aristotle's ideas about character and the psychological theory of cognitive dissonance. So the underlying idea is not new. But Scott's way of asking the question makes it useful for examining our own behaviour.
The second interesting concept is Chapter 24, "Chase Dreams", starting on page 86.
Scott explains the difference between polishing a dream and chasing a dream.
Polishing a dream means repeatedly imagining a future achievement without doing anything to make it happen. Chasing a dream means taking action, spending time and resources, and accepting the possibility of failure.
On page 87, Scott writes, "Chasing a dream gives you self-knowledge."
I liked this distinction. We may spend years imagining a project, a career change, or an achievement. Imagination itself can give us satisfaction, even when we make no progress.
Scott suggests that attempting something teaches us more about ourselves than simply imagining it. Even when we fail, we learn whether the dream was worth pursuing.
This concept has similarities with experiential learning and psychology research on positive fantasies and motivation. Still, the distinction between polishing and chasing dreams is explained in a simple and memorable way.
The third concept is Chapter 25, "Make Decisions", starting on page 88.
Scott divides decisions into two categories: passive decisions and active decisions.
On page 89, he defines them as:
"Passive decisions: decisions life puts in front of you"
"Active decisions: decisions you force into existence"
He explains this with the example of a friend inviting you for coffee. Accepting or declining the invitation is a passive decision because someone else created the opportunity. Inviting the friend yourself is an active decision.
I found this a useful distinction. Many times, we believe we are making decisions, but we are only choosing from the options others have made available to us.
Active decisions create new possibilities. They also require more effort and involve more risk.
This idea has similarities with existential philosophy and the psychological concept of proactive behaviour. But Scott's explanation makes it easy to apply to everyday life.
Some points need a more critical reading, especially for readers interested in philosophy.
The book simplifies several philosophical and psychological concepts. This helps in explaining them to a general audience, but sometimes the simplification goes too far.
For example, in Chapter 1, "Don't Die", Scott argues that death gives meaning to life. He suggests that immortality would make time worthless and life increasingly empty.
I do not find this argument entirely convincing. The fact that something is unlimited does not necessarily make it worthless. Even an immortal person could value relationships, learning, and individual experiences. Mortality may encourage us to appreciate life, but that does not prove that life requires death to have meaning.
In Chapter 6, "Choose Expectations", Scott uses an interesting example of an unpleasant macaroni-and-cheese meal. The same meal would become valuable if someone were starving on a deserted island.
The example explains how circumstances change our expectations. However, I felt that the conclusion is somewhat simplified. The situation changes not only expectations but also hunger, available choices, and the need for survival. These factors also explain why the meal becomes valuable.
Another example appears in Chapter 23, "Outwork the Problem". Scott encourages readers to overcome difficulties through effort and practice.
The advice is motivating, but effort alone cannot overcome every limitation. Physical abilities, health, resources, opportunities, and luck also matter. Interestingly, Scott discusses the importance of luck in Chapter 18, "Embrace Luck". These two chapters would benefit from a clearer connection.
I also felt that Chapter 4, "Feelings Are Friends", needs some care in interpretation. On pages 18–19, Scott discusses how emotions can fade and suggests that prolonged anxiety or anger may involve choosing not to let something go. This may be true in some situations, but persistent emotional distress is not always a matter of choice.
These are not reasons to reject the book. They are reasons to read it thoughtfully. Scott himself argues in Chapter 12, "Good Rules Contradict", that advice can be useful in one situation and unsuitable in another. I think this is also the right approach to reading his own 26 rules.
There are several things I liked about the book.
Scott is open about his personal experiences. His accounts of serious illness, losing his voice, dealing with psychological distress, and facing uncertainty make his arguments more personal. He does not present himself as someone who has always followed his own advice successfully.
The humour is another strong point. The book discusses death, disappointment, regret, and other difficult subjects without becoming unnecessarily serious. Some examples are exaggerated, but they make the discussion enjoyable.
I also liked the references to philosophers, books, and psychological research. Scott mentions thinkers such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Nietzsche, Alan Watts, and others. These references provide opportunities for further reading. I found myself wanting to explore some of the referenced works, just as I did while reading his earlier book, The Myths of Innovation.
Another good thing is the short chapter structure. Each rule can be read independently. Readers can return to a particular chapter when they encounter a situation where that rule may be useful.
The book also encourages readers to question its advice rather than blindly accept it. I appreciate this approach. A book about living well should make readers think, not simply provide another list of instructions to follow.
Why should someone read this book?
I would recommend this book to readers who want an accessible introduction to practical philosophy and self-reflection.
It will be particularly useful for people who have not extensively studied philosophy or psychology. Many familiar ideas are presented through everyday situations, making them easier to understand and examine.
Readers who are already familiar with these subjects may not discover many new philosophical ideas. For them, the value is in Scott's presentation, the examples, and a few useful distinctions such as exceptions defining our behaviour, polishing versus chasing dreams, and active versus passive decisions.
The book does not provide a complete or logically consistent theory of how to live. I do not think such a theory can be developed through 26 short rules anyway. But it gives readers several questions worth asking themselves.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. It made me reconsider some of my own assumptions and examine the difference between what I believe, what I want to achieve, and what I actually do.
For me, the most useful takeaway is not any one rule. It is the habit of questioning our own rules, examining their exceptions, and testing our ideas through action.
That makes the book worth reading, even if you disagree with some of Scott's conclusions.
October 26, 2026
"Wake up!" That's rule #2 -- and, for me, it was one of the strongest feelings that resonated throughout the book.
Philosophy books tend to be dry and dense. Self-help books can be more lively -- but they are usually trying to sell you something. "How to Live" is neither a philosophy book nor a self-help book. The way I'd describe this genre-bending book is by the way it felt to me as a reader. It was like taking an enjoyable half-day nature walk with perfect weather -- a readerly way for me to "touch grass" (mentally, at least) as a life-long over-achiever.
If you ever feel, at times, like you are just "sleepwalking through life," that you are just "going through the motions" -- reading this book is a pleasant salve. Some of the reflections in it might just get you to snap out of it.
And some of the "rules" might provide a nice memento for your future self. For me, I'll be returning to "Wake Up," "Chop Wood," "Do It Anyway," and "Show Up" as memorable shorthands for taking the action I "want to want" to take -- but sometimes feel I cannot take, due to a temporary lack of wanting.
Philosophy books tend to be dry and dense. Self-help books can be more lively -- but they are usually trying to sell you something. "How to Live" is neither a philosophy book nor a self-help book. The way I'd describe this genre-bending book is by the way it felt to me as a reader. It was like taking an enjoyable half-day nature walk with perfect weather -- a readerly way for me to "touch grass" (mentally, at least) as a life-long over-achiever.
If you ever feel, at times, like you are just "sleepwalking through life," that you are just "going through the motions" -- reading this book is a pleasant salve. Some of the reflections in it might just get you to snap out of it.
And some of the "rules" might provide a nice memento for your future self. For me, I'll be returning to "Wake Up," "Chop Wood," "Do It Anyway," and "Show Up" as memorable shorthands for taking the action I "want to want" to take -- but sometimes feel I cannot take, due to a temporary lack of wanting.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
How to Live was surprisingly funny and honest. From the first rule, Don’t Die, the book was humorous and engaging. While I am not usually a fan of nonfiction advice books, this one was an exception.
Review of advance copy received from Author
A personal, sincere, and approachable take on the everyday philosophies we take for granted.
Most self-help books lean heavily on manufactured drama. They thrive on dramatic epiphanies: “You think you know how this works? Think again! Let me reveal a shocking secret!” It’s a classic hook designed to grab attention, but it rarely reflects how life actually works, with all the bittersweet nuances we can’t avoid.
In How to Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules, Scott Berkun takes the opposite route. He doesn’t offer theatrical revelations or pre-packaged life hacks. Instead, he grounds the book in three rare qualities: it is deeply *personal*, disarmingly *sincere*, and genuinely *approachable*.
Rather than claiming we lack answers, Berkun suggests something simpler: modern life moves too quickly for us to think through the basics. We don’t need more rigid formulas. Instead, we need space to think philosophically about ordinary things.
No epiphanies, no silver bullets—just a refreshingly approachable, personal and sincere invitation to think for yourself.
Approachable: Commonplace Rules That Demand Deeper Thinking
When I used to advise nonfiction authors as an editor, my first rule was always: your table of contents must tell an engaging story.
At first glance, Berkun’s table of contents seems almost underwhelming: “Don’t die,” “Be self-aware,” “Think slow,” “Be here now.” Why pick up a book whose chapter titles sound so plain?
Because that simplicity is precisely where its approachability lies. We skim past these intuitive truths every day because utilitarian demands leave little time to chew on heavy philosophy classics. Berkun bridges that gap. He doesn’t lecture from an ivory tower; he invites you in, using clear language to translate classical philosophical weight into quick, engaging reads. It’s an approachable doorway to your own thinking—not a promise to think FOR you, but a practical prompt to let you examine what you take for granted.
Personal: Experience Used as a Mirror, Not a Universal Law
Another common pitfall in self-help is turning a single personal triumph into universal dogma: “It worked for me on a Tuesday, so here is your four-step blueprint for life.”
Berkun shares plenty of personal stories here, many of them quiet, candid, and moving. But crucially, he never treats his personal history as an absolute template for yours. Instead of prescribing plug-and-play solutions, he uses his stories as mirrors. The hard work of contextualizing any rule—deciding when it applies, when it bends, and when it fails—can only ever be done by you. Bad books claim they can skip that work for you; a good book equips you with the curiosity and critical distance to do that work yourself.
Sincere: Inviting Nuance Through Gentle Reframing
Sincerity in writing shows up when an author trusts the reader’s intelligence. Berkun frequently pauses to offer mental exercises and gentle invitations: “Here is another way to observe yourself.”
Rather than settling for neat binaries, the book actively hunts for nuance at the intersection of different perspectives. You get the distinct pleasure of reframing ideas you thought were settled, landing on that satisfying spark of, “I’ve never looked at it from that angle before.” His rules are less about obedience and more about exploration. It lives up to its subtitle, *Rules for People Who Don’t Like Rules*, by quietly delivering two bonus layers: rules for thinking about rules, and a way of thinking for people who resist being told what to do.
At roughly 100 pages, How to Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules accomplishes something too few books manage: it reads like a breezy 30-minute conversation, yet leaves behind the intellectual residue of a 300-page study. It strips away the grandiosity of traditional philosophy while dodging the shallow certainty of modern self-help.
Conclusion
Personal in its anecdotes, sincere in its refusal to oversimplify, and approachable in every line, it’s a sharp, delightful guide to reflecting on the only life you can actually design—your own.
Highly recommended!
Most self-help books lean heavily on manufactured drama. They thrive on dramatic epiphanies: “You think you know how this works? Think again! Let me reveal a shocking secret!” It’s a classic hook designed to grab attention, but it rarely reflects how life actually works, with all the bittersweet nuances we can’t avoid.
In How to Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules, Scott Berkun takes the opposite route. He doesn’t offer theatrical revelations or pre-packaged life hacks. Instead, he grounds the book in three rare qualities: it is deeply *personal*, disarmingly *sincere*, and genuinely *approachable*.
Rather than claiming we lack answers, Berkun suggests something simpler: modern life moves too quickly for us to think through the basics. We don’t need more rigid formulas. Instead, we need space to think philosophically about ordinary things.
No epiphanies, no silver bullets—just a refreshingly approachable, personal and sincere invitation to think for yourself.
Approachable: Commonplace Rules That Demand Deeper Thinking
When I used to advise nonfiction authors as an editor, my first rule was always: your table of contents must tell an engaging story.
At first glance, Berkun’s table of contents seems almost underwhelming: “Don’t die,” “Be self-aware,” “Think slow,” “Be here now.” Why pick up a book whose chapter titles sound so plain?
Because that simplicity is precisely where its approachability lies. We skim past these intuitive truths every day because utilitarian demands leave little time to chew on heavy philosophy classics. Berkun bridges that gap. He doesn’t lecture from an ivory tower; he invites you in, using clear language to translate classical philosophical weight into quick, engaging reads. It’s an approachable doorway to your own thinking—not a promise to think FOR you, but a practical prompt to let you examine what you take for granted.
Personal: Experience Used as a Mirror, Not a Universal Law
Another common pitfall in self-help is turning a single personal triumph into universal dogma: “It worked for me on a Tuesday, so here is your four-step blueprint for life.”
Berkun shares plenty of personal stories here, many of them quiet, candid, and moving. But crucially, he never treats his personal history as an absolute template for yours. Instead of prescribing plug-and-play solutions, he uses his stories as mirrors. The hard work of contextualizing any rule—deciding when it applies, when it bends, and when it fails—can only ever be done by you. Bad books claim they can skip that work for you; a good book equips you with the curiosity and critical distance to do that work yourself.
Sincere: Inviting Nuance Through Gentle Reframing
Sincerity in writing shows up when an author trusts the reader’s intelligence. Berkun frequently pauses to offer mental exercises and gentle invitations: “Here is another way to observe yourself.”
Rather than settling for neat binaries, the book actively hunts for nuance at the intersection of different perspectives. You get the distinct pleasure of reframing ideas you thought were settled, landing on that satisfying spark of, “I’ve never looked at it from that angle before.” His rules are less about obedience and more about exploration. It lives up to its subtitle, *Rules for People Who Don’t Like Rules*, by quietly delivering two bonus layers: rules for thinking about rules, and a way of thinking for people who resist being told what to do.
At roughly 100 pages, How to Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules accomplishes something too few books manage: it reads like a breezy 30-minute conversation, yet leaves behind the intellectual residue of a 300-page study. It strips away the grandiosity of traditional philosophy while dodging the shallow certainty of modern self-help.
Conclusion
Personal in its anecdotes, sincere in its refusal to oversimplify, and approachable in every line, it’s a sharp, delightful guide to reflecting on the only life you can actually design—your own.
Highly recommended!
Review of advance copy received from Author
A lot of what Scott says in How to Live is familiar to me. That didn't make me enjoy it any less.
Writing a book called How to Live is a bold thing to do. You're trying to compress what you've learned about something enormous into a book someone can actually read and use. Of course you're going to leave things out. A recipe doesn't contain everything a cook knows, either. Deciding what to include means putting your own judgment on the line. These are the things you believe matter enough to pass on.
That's what made me curious about Scott's version. I've been collecting principles for my own life for years. Reading him felt a bit like being a musician listening to another musician you respect play a familiar jazz tune. You notice where they linger and what they bring out in a phrase you know well. You wonder why they chose to play it that way, and it makes you reconsider your own choices. I wanted to see what Scott would keep after all his reading, thinking, and living, and put those choices next to mine. It gave me a chance to think again about the life I'm actually living.
In Korean, a sunbae is someone who went down your path before you. Reading this book felt like hearing from a sunbae I've never met. I was interested in how he came to these ideas and where he still struggles with them.
I was hooked after the first chapter. Halfway through, I emailed Scott to say I wished the book were longer, the way I sometimes wish a good movie would keep going. It reminded me why I love his books, and how much I enjoy reading something written by a human. His humor, his doubts, and even the things he gets annoyed by are part of what I came to read. I wanted to spend more time with him.
I learned plenty of new things along the way, too. Scott brings in facts and stories that are interesting in their own right, and uses them to make his ideas clear. Even when I knew the principle, a funny or surprising detail often made me think about it again. I enjoyed how he got the ideas across as much as the ideas themselves.
When I compared the book with my notes, there was a lot of overlap. I already had notes on expectations, knowing but not doing, and acting before I feel motivated. My notes often get quite detailed about how to make things happen. Scott spends more time on what it feels like to LIVE (which.. is in the title of the book!) with these ideas. That difference in emphasis was part of what I enjoyed.
If Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life is a philosophical treatise, this feels more like a practical conversation. I can spend a lot of time thinking about how to live without actually changing much. While reading Rule 11, I wrote a question in my notes about how to actually enjoy every moment. I agree with the idea. I'm still figuring out how to do it.
I found his discussion of contradictory rules strangely comforting. Both sides can sound right, but which one are you supposed to follow? I have this problem in my own collection. I have notes telling me to act decisively and others telling me not to jump the gun. His discussion of exceptions in Rule 8 and contradictions in Rule 12 gave me more to think about. Having a principle doesn't settle the question of when to use it.
He quotes a lot of people, and he questions them too. I like knowing that people have been wrestling with the same questions for centuries. When an idea keeps coming back, I think it's worth paying attention to. But being old or often repeated doesn't put it beyond question. I enjoyed following Scott as he works through that for himself.
I know I'll forget a lot of this, as life unfolds and I am forgetful. I've read enough of these books to know that agreeing with something doesn't mean I'll do it. Knowing is not doing, as Rule 7 says. I'd like to read this one every year. Sometimes I need to hear something again, even if I already know it.
I think I'll enjoy it just as much next time. Some parts may hit me differently, but I expect I'll come away wanting to give these ideas another try.
My current favorites are Rules 12, 13, 14, 15, and 23. I'll let you find out why.
P.S. I just went back and found that Rule 6 was the chapter I highlighted the most, which is interesting because it wasn't even on my list of favorites. Maybe the ideas I most need to revisit aren't always the ones I'd call my favorites.
Writing a book called How to Live is a bold thing to do. You're trying to compress what you've learned about something enormous into a book someone can actually read and use. Of course you're going to leave things out. A recipe doesn't contain everything a cook knows, either. Deciding what to include means putting your own judgment on the line. These are the things you believe matter enough to pass on.
That's what made me curious about Scott's version. I've been collecting principles for my own life for years. Reading him felt a bit like being a musician listening to another musician you respect play a familiar jazz tune. You notice where they linger and what they bring out in a phrase you know well. You wonder why they chose to play it that way, and it makes you reconsider your own choices. I wanted to see what Scott would keep after all his reading, thinking, and living, and put those choices next to mine. It gave me a chance to think again about the life I'm actually living.
In Korean, a sunbae is someone who went down your path before you. Reading this book felt like hearing from a sunbae I've never met. I was interested in how he came to these ideas and where he still struggles with them.
I was hooked after the first chapter. Halfway through, I emailed Scott to say I wished the book were longer, the way I sometimes wish a good movie would keep going. It reminded me why I love his books, and how much I enjoy reading something written by a human. His humor, his doubts, and even the things he gets annoyed by are part of what I came to read. I wanted to spend more time with him.
I learned plenty of new things along the way, too. Scott brings in facts and stories that are interesting in their own right, and uses them to make his ideas clear. Even when I knew the principle, a funny or surprising detail often made me think about it again. I enjoyed how he got the ideas across as much as the ideas themselves.
When I compared the book with my notes, there was a lot of overlap. I already had notes on expectations, knowing but not doing, and acting before I feel motivated. My notes often get quite detailed about how to make things happen. Scott spends more time on what it feels like to LIVE (which.. is in the title of the book!) with these ideas. That difference in emphasis was part of what I enjoyed.
If Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life is a philosophical treatise, this feels more like a practical conversation. I can spend a lot of time thinking about how to live without actually changing much. While reading Rule 11, I wrote a question in my notes about how to actually enjoy every moment. I agree with the idea. I'm still figuring out how to do it.
I found his discussion of contradictory rules strangely comforting. Both sides can sound right, but which one are you supposed to follow? I have this problem in my own collection. I have notes telling me to act decisively and others telling me not to jump the gun. His discussion of exceptions in Rule 8 and contradictions in Rule 12 gave me more to think about. Having a principle doesn't settle the question of when to use it.
He quotes a lot of people, and he questions them too. I like knowing that people have been wrestling with the same questions for centuries. When an idea keeps coming back, I think it's worth paying attention to. But being old or often repeated doesn't put it beyond question. I enjoyed following Scott as he works through that for himself.
I know I'll forget a lot of this, as life unfolds and I am forgetful. I've read enough of these books to know that agreeing with something doesn't mean I'll do it. Knowing is not doing, as Rule 7 says. I'd like to read this one every year. Sometimes I need to hear something again, even if I already know it.
I think I'll enjoy it just as much next time. Some parts may hit me differently, but I expect I'll come away wanting to give these ideas another try.
My current favorites are Rules 12, 13, 14, 15, and 23. I'll let you find out why.
P.S. I just went back and found that Rule 6 was the chapter I highlighted the most, which is interesting because it wasn't even on my list of favorites. Maybe the ideas I most need to revisit aren't always the ones I'd call my favorites.
Review of advance copy received from Author
A Warm, Humorous, and Heartfelt Guide to Life
Reading How to Live by Scott Berkun was an absolute joy. It didn’t feel like I was reading an academic paper or an educational thesis; instead, it felt like sitting down with Scott and listening to him tell stories directly to me. He writes straight from the heart, infused with a wonderful sense of humor that makes his insights feel incredibly accessible.
Many of his stories really resonated with me, and I found myself highlighting some of my favorite rules and reflections. Here are a few that particularly stood out:
On mindfulness & awareness: "Awake people have more choices, and more ways to live well, than those who stay asleep" (p. 12).
On reframing emotions: "In Irish, emotions are described as a layer. Tá brón orm translates to 'sorrow is on me,' rather than 'I am sad,' and Tá imní orm means 'anxiety is on me.' This is wise. It’s a healthier, and more scientifically accurate, description of what is going on..." (p. 14).
On not taking ourselves too seriously: "Many of our thoughts are just primal urges to eat, flirt, or take a nap. If we can step back, it’s obvious our thoughts are at best a mixed bag of mostly stale nuts and we should not take them so seriously" (p. 14).
On letting go of the need for control: Seeing the wisdom in saying, "Hey traffic. I see you. But I know fighting you will not help" (p. 29) and realizing that "...we’re not in control of everything and that’s OK. The way to win is not to try" (p. 29).
On finding joy in the everyday: "It’s simple things that we can choose to take pride in and make worthwhile, even if they are small, everyday activities" (p. 33), even if it's something as simple as appreciating "...the black-and-white cookies you’ll find everywhere in NYC, delicious when fresh, with one side frosted in chocolate and the other in vanilla" (p. 35).
On true wisdom: "Wisdom requires not only intelligence, but courage, curiosity, compassion, dedication, and integrity, which are often rarer traits" (p. 37).
There were times when Scott’s references to historical figures—like the Stoics and various famous people—felt a little heavy-handed and threatened to become too much. However, those moments were easily outweighed by the strength of Scott’s own personal voice. That genuine, conversational tone always broke through and made the book a delight.
If you are looking for a grounded, humorous, and deeply human perspective on how to navigate the world, I highly recommend giving this a read.
Reading How to Live by Scott Berkun was an absolute joy. It didn’t feel like I was reading an academic paper or an educational thesis; instead, it felt like sitting down with Scott and listening to him tell stories directly to me. He writes straight from the heart, infused with a wonderful sense of humor that makes his insights feel incredibly accessible.
Many of his stories really resonated with me, and I found myself highlighting some of my favorite rules and reflections. Here are a few that particularly stood out:
On mindfulness & awareness: "Awake people have more choices, and more ways to live well, than those who stay asleep" (p. 12).
On reframing emotions: "In Irish, emotions are described as a layer. Tá brón orm translates to 'sorrow is on me,' rather than 'I am sad,' and Tá imní orm means 'anxiety is on me.' This is wise. It’s a healthier, and more scientifically accurate, description of what is going on..." (p. 14).
On not taking ourselves too seriously: "Many of our thoughts are just primal urges to eat, flirt, or take a nap. If we can step back, it’s obvious our thoughts are at best a mixed bag of mostly stale nuts and we should not take them so seriously" (p. 14).
On letting go of the need for control: Seeing the wisdom in saying, "Hey traffic. I see you. But I know fighting you will not help" (p. 29) and realizing that "...we’re not in control of everything and that’s OK. The way to win is not to try" (p. 29).
On finding joy in the everyday: "It’s simple things that we can choose to take pride in and make worthwhile, even if they are small, everyday activities" (p. 33), even if it's something as simple as appreciating "...the black-and-white cookies you’ll find everywhere in NYC, delicious when fresh, with one side frosted in chocolate and the other in vanilla" (p. 35).
On true wisdom: "Wisdom requires not only intelligence, but courage, curiosity, compassion, dedication, and integrity, which are often rarer traits" (p. 37).
There were times when Scott’s references to historical figures—like the Stoics and various famous people—felt a little heavy-handed and threatened to become too much. However, those moments were easily outweighed by the strength of Scott’s own personal voice. That genuine, conversational tone always broke through and made the book a delight.
If you are looking for a grounded, humorous, and deeply human perspective on how to navigate the world, I highly recommend giving this a read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Review of advance copy received from Author
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4.5 / 5 Stars
“A witty, pragmatic, and deeply human handbook for self-awareness.”
The Premise
In Scott Berkun’s How To Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules, readers are treated to 26 flexible principles spread across under 150 pages. Rather than enforcing rigid institutional dogma, Berkun frames “rules” as empowering tools for balance and self-awareness. Organized into four parts—covering inner awareness, action and evolutionary biology, complexity and perspective, and practical relationships—the book blends Stoic philosophy, Eastern mysticism, and modern psychology with brutally honest personal anecdotes.
What Stood Out
Self-Discipline as Future-Self Love: Berkun reframes willpower not as an internal war, but as a generous act of love for the future version of yourself.
Familiar vs. Unfamiliar: Instead of labeling tasks as “easy” or “hard,” Berkun suggests viewing them as “familiar” or “unfamiliar”—mastery comes simply from building daily familiarity.
“Chop Wood, Carry Water”: Enlightenment doesn't exempt anyone from life's ordinary chores and challenges; true wisdom is found in how we engage with everyday reality.
Pros & Cons
👍 Pros: Unpretentious, vulnerable storytelling (including surviving an ICU stay and vocal cord paralysis), witty satirical humor, interactive mind-bending exercises, and zero preachy guru posturing.
👎 Cons: Because the book covers 26 expansive topics in a concise format, individual chapters are brief (~2 to 5 pages), which may feel light for readers seeking exhaustive, single-topic academic treatises.
The Verdict
A fast, refreshing, and genuinely insightful read for anyone who wants to cultivate a thoughtful life without dogmatic constraints. Highly recommended for fans of practical philosophy with a humorous edge!
Review of advance copy received from Author
Scott Berkun opens How to Live with praise from the dead. Descartes thought, and therefore bought two copies. Sisyphus gives it five stars, and the same five stars tomorrow. Pandora opened it and has no regrets. Narcissus is grateful that someone finally wrote a book about his favorite subject. I laughed through the whole page. By the end of it I knew how Scott would handle the rest of the book. He jokes at his own expense and keeps his care for the questions.
The book has 26 rules. Rule 1 is “Don’t Die,” and Scott earns it with a story from an ICU in Pittsburgh. Hospital staff had unplugged his monitors and left his bed in an empty hallway. He was severely anemic and fought to stay awake, afraid that if his heart stopped, no one would know. A page later he observes that dead people get terrible scores on reading comprehension tests. He moves between mortality and punchlines like this all through the book, and he gives his reason: “Laughing means your mind is open.” While his readers are laughing, he brings in Montaigne, Nietzsche and the Stoics, whom he calls “the wisest wet blankets we have,” along with practical advice on feelings, decisions and showing up.
My favorite pages are at the back. “Recommended Doing” is one paragraph of instructions that I’d love to hear Scott read over a slow beat, the way Baz Luhrmann set Mary Schmich’s “Wear Sunscreen” to music. A few of my favorites are “Learn a bird’s name,” “Proudly make something ugly,” “Let people merge” and “Start a band even if you can’t play an instrument.” He also suggests asking a child the meaning of life, then asking your cat. I’m still deciding about the one involving a glass of water and the bathroom. The colophon lists 34 bowls of phở consumed and 12 fists shaken at the sky. The last page has a secret message, which I’ll leave for you to find.
Like Descartes, I bought two copies. My mother, who is 78, took one right away. Scott closes the book by handing the rule-making over to his readers: “There is no Rule 4. From here on, you make them.”
The book has 26 rules. Rule 1 is “Don’t Die,” and Scott earns it with a story from an ICU in Pittsburgh. Hospital staff had unplugged his monitors and left his bed in an empty hallway. He was severely anemic and fought to stay awake, afraid that if his heart stopped, no one would know. A page later he observes that dead people get terrible scores on reading comprehension tests. He moves between mortality and punchlines like this all through the book, and he gives his reason: “Laughing means your mind is open.” While his readers are laughing, he brings in Montaigne, Nietzsche and the Stoics, whom he calls “the wisest wet blankets we have,” along with practical advice on feelings, decisions and showing up.
My favorite pages are at the back. “Recommended Doing” is one paragraph of instructions that I’d love to hear Scott read over a slow beat, the way Baz Luhrmann set Mary Schmich’s “Wear Sunscreen” to music. A few of my favorites are “Learn a bird’s name,” “Proudly make something ugly,” “Let people merge” and “Start a band even if you can’t play an instrument.” He also suggests asking a child the meaning of life, then asking your cat. I’m still deciding about the one involving a glass of water and the bathroom. The colophon lists 34 bowls of phở consumed and 12 fists shaken at the sky. The last page has a secret message, which I’ll leave for you to find.
Like Descartes, I bought two copies. My mother, who is 78, took one right away. Scott closes the book by handing the rule-making over to his readers: “There is no Rule 4. From here on, you make them.”
Review of advance copy received from Author
I hate self help books, so the title intrigues, and Scott does not disappoint. The twenty-six "rules" as he calls them, seem more like a set of philosophies than prescriptive guidelines. And this is good! It is essential! Rather than telling you what to do, as so many others try to, Scott provokes. Well, that is if you are awake enough to consider what he is saying (rule 2). And if you are not, well this is probably not the book for you...
This is not a self-help book, but with a title like this, it will be considered one. The reason self-help books don't work is that very few people in the world simply adopt what worked for someone else and apply it in their lives. Be it weight loss, time management, relationships, mental health, etc., real change requires doing work that is usually uncomfortable, often painful, to change how one behaves. No one can tell you how to do that; you have to figure it out for yourself. Perhaps that is too Zen, but what would a book of provocative thoughts be without some Zen?
The book is full of anecdotes from Scott's life, and references to thinkers and philosophers both ancient and modern, which help ground what he is bringing to the surface. And just like the proverbial iceberg, there is much to discover beneath that surface. It needs some time to ponder and perhaps a re-read or three. Fortunately, it is an easy read with a bit of snark and some very silly metaphors. But those just help illustrate the points Scott is making, and they are silly enough that you will have to come up with your own, and that, after all, is the whole point.
Don't die! (Rule 1). Do read this book! (Rule 27)
P.S.: this was written with the help of AI: I asked AI to help me write it, and then did the exact opposite.
This is not a self-help book, but with a title like this, it will be considered one. The reason self-help books don't work is that very few people in the world simply adopt what worked for someone else and apply it in their lives. Be it weight loss, time management, relationships, mental health, etc., real change requires doing work that is usually uncomfortable, often painful, to change how one behaves. No one can tell you how to do that; you have to figure it out for yourself. Perhaps that is too Zen, but what would a book of provocative thoughts be without some Zen?
The book is full of anecdotes from Scott's life, and references to thinkers and philosophers both ancient and modern, which help ground what he is bringing to the surface. And just like the proverbial iceberg, there is much to discover beneath that surface. It needs some time to ponder and perhaps a re-read or three. Fortunately, it is an easy read with a bit of snark and some very silly metaphors. But those just help illustrate the points Scott is making, and they are silly enough that you will have to come up with your own, and that, after all, is the whole point.
Don't die! (Rule 1). Do read this book! (Rule 27)
P.S.: this was written with the help of AI: I asked AI to help me write it, and then did the exact opposite.
Review of advance copy received from Author
"How to Live" is the best kind of self-improvement book--the one that leaves you with all the right questions and assigns the homework to go find the answers for yourself.
Berkun continually offers rules to live by, then gives us reasons to break them. The book embraces the paradox of being human.
I appreciated the conversational tone - more like a chat over coffee or a beer than a philosophy lecture on the Stoics or Zen Buddhism. I could easily see sitting attentively in a pub while Scott excitedly talks about his rules for living through life experiences, quotes, and influences with his characteristic witty, dry sense of humor. (A few sections that I would have believed were written by Douglas Adams; the prose was so wonderfully deadpan and dry).
Across 26 "rules", Scott has a mix of rules like the profound, "Don't Die" and "Observe Yourself," and rules that are less rules and more ... realizations. Things like "Knowing is not doing," and "Everything is made up" - topics that could cause an existential spiral were it not for the concise breakdown of the point being made.
Overall, I loved the book, even though I disagreed at times (Scott says that's OK though; he expects us to disagree). Being so concise, it's also deceptively dense. There's a lot to unpack in each sentence, and I am confident I missed a lot of what the book has to offer on the first read-through. This isn't a book you read once, declare yourself educated, and never think of it again. This is a "come back to when shit gets tough/weird/annoying," and you want to recenter yourself.
Oh, and I loved the Easter eggs throughout. I won't spoil the fun—every time I found one, it made me smile.
Berkun continually offers rules to live by, then gives us reasons to break them. The book embraces the paradox of being human.
I appreciated the conversational tone - more like a chat over coffee or a beer than a philosophy lecture on the Stoics or Zen Buddhism. I could easily see sitting attentively in a pub while Scott excitedly talks about his rules for living through life experiences, quotes, and influences with his characteristic witty, dry sense of humor. (A few sections that I would have believed were written by Douglas Adams; the prose was so wonderfully deadpan and dry).
Across 26 "rules", Scott has a mix of rules like the profound, "Don't Die" and "Observe Yourself," and rules that are less rules and more ... realizations. Things like "Knowing is not doing," and "Everything is made up" - topics that could cause an existential spiral were it not for the concise breakdown of the point being made.
Overall, I loved the book, even though I disagreed at times (Scott says that's OK though; he expects us to disagree). Being so concise, it's also deceptively dense. There's a lot to unpack in each sentence, and I am confident I missed a lot of what the book has to offer on the first read-through. This isn't a book you read once, declare yourself educated, and never think of it again. This is a "come back to when shit gets tough/weird/annoying," and you want to recenter yourself.
Oh, and I loved the Easter eggs throughout. I won't spoil the fun—every time I found one, it made me smile.
Review of advance copy received from Author
After reading this book, I found myself wishing I had read it a long time ago, back when I was constantly searching for ways to fix myself and/or live a better life. But there are two problems with that. First, Scott has only now written this book. Second, I’m not sure my younger self would have had the capacity to understand everything in it.
Some conclusions only come with time and experience, no matter how hard we try to learn from other people’s mistakes instead of our own.
Maybe it’s because I’m on the threshold of that magic number, 50, and Scott had his own experience with that age, but at times I felt as if the book had been written just for me.
There are no great revelations or instructions here that will solve everything that troubles you, and that is exactly what I like about it. What you get is something like a handbook that helps you live your life more calmly and simply, focusing on what matters. Being almost 50, I know that everything Scott has written here matters. It contains everything that can help you get through this thing we call life with as little struggle and soul-searching as possible.
I know it sounds simple when put like this, but that is precisely the point of our existence: to understand what we can and cannot control, and to turn toward what is within our power.
On top of all that, the book is entertaining, witty, and an easy read. But I expected that, since this is the seventh Scott book I’ve read. His straightforward style, whatever the topic, is why I so often choose to give my time and attention to his books.
Some conclusions only come with time and experience, no matter how hard we try to learn from other people’s mistakes instead of our own.
Maybe it’s because I’m on the threshold of that magic number, 50, and Scott had his own experience with that age, but at times I felt as if the book had been written just for me.
There are no great revelations or instructions here that will solve everything that troubles you, and that is exactly what I like about it. What you get is something like a handbook that helps you live your life more calmly and simply, focusing on what matters. Being almost 50, I know that everything Scott has written here matters. It contains everything that can help you get through this thing we call life with as little struggle and soul-searching as possible.
I know it sounds simple when put like this, but that is precisely the point of our existence: to understand what we can and cannot control, and to turn toward what is within our power.
On top of all that, the book is entertaining, witty, and an easy read. But I expected that, since this is the seventh Scott book I’ve read. His straightforward style, whatever the topic, is why I so often choose to give my time and attention to his books.
October 27, 2026
You may as well buy two copies because you're going to give one away
Since reading Scott Berkun's first book, The Myth of Innovation, I have looked forward to each of his subsequent books. When I heard that How To Live was in the works, I hoped for the best but did not have great expectations. The subtitle, Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules, gave me some hope, but not a lot. I worried that Berkun had become Oprah-ized.
Instead of "blah, blah, blah, do this," I got the kind of conversation that, as an only child, I would have wanted from a big brother. The book is a collection of thoughtful ideas distilled from Berkun's reading, experience, successes, failures, and hard-earned lessons. Each rule is presented with humor, memorable examples, and thoughtful references. When I reached the end of each chapter, there was an implied invitation: "You be the judge." I felt respected as a reader and trusted to decide what value each rule held for my own life.
Berkun's message is not that life can be reduced to a set of formulas. Instead, he encourages readers to wake up, pay attention, and think more carefully about how they live. That approach made the book feel less like self-help and more like a conversation with a wise friend.
How To Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules is the kind of book you'll read, give away to someone you know will enjoy it, and then buy another copy for yourself.
Since reading Scott Berkun's first book, The Myth of Innovation, I have looked forward to each of his subsequent books. When I heard that How To Live was in the works, I hoped for the best but did not have great expectations. The subtitle, Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules, gave me some hope, but not a lot. I worried that Berkun had become Oprah-ized.
Instead of "blah, blah, blah, do this," I got the kind of conversation that, as an only child, I would have wanted from a big brother. The book is a collection of thoughtful ideas distilled from Berkun's reading, experience, successes, failures, and hard-earned lessons. Each rule is presented with humor, memorable examples, and thoughtful references. When I reached the end of each chapter, there was an implied invitation: "You be the judge." I felt respected as a reader and trusted to decide what value each rule held for my own life.
Berkun's message is not that life can be reduced to a set of formulas. Instead, he encourages readers to wake up, pay attention, and think more carefully about how they live. That approach made the book feel less like self-help and more like a conversation with a wise friend.
How To Live: Rules for People Who Don't Like Rules is the kind of book you'll read, give away to someone you know will enjoy it, and then buy another copy for yourself.
Review of advance copy received from Author
As someone who tends to approach life with a healthy dose of scepticism, a preference for certainty, and a natural suspicion of grand promises, I found *How to Live* a surprisingly rewarding read. Scott Berkun offers something refreshingly rare: wisdom without dogma, practical guidance without rigid prescriptions, and optimism without pretending that life is fair or predictable.
What I particularly appreciated is the book’s acknowledgement that we control far less than we would like, that uncertainty is unavoidable, and that our own thinking can be our worst enemy. Its lessons on managing expectations, questioning assumptions, accepting contradictions, and focusing on what we can influence resonate strongly with a Stoic outlook.
Berkun combines philosophical depth with humour, honesty, and an admirably pragmatic approach. He doesn’t promise a formula for happiness or suggest that adversity can always be avoided. Instead, he offers a more credible proposition: we can learn to navigate life’s inevitable difficulties with greater perspective, resilience, and grace.
I approached this book with modest expectations. I finished it with several ideas worth remembering, revisiting, and putting into practice. For a book about how to live, that is a pretty compelling read and a good ROI :)
What I particularly appreciated is the book’s acknowledgement that we control far less than we would like, that uncertainty is unavoidable, and that our own thinking can be our worst enemy. Its lessons on managing expectations, questioning assumptions, accepting contradictions, and focusing on what we can influence resonate strongly with a Stoic outlook.
Berkun combines philosophical depth with humour, honesty, and an admirably pragmatic approach. He doesn’t promise a formula for happiness or suggest that adversity can always be avoided. Instead, he offers a more credible proposition: we can learn to navigate life’s inevitable difficulties with greater perspective, resilience, and grace.
I approached this book with modest expectations. I finished it with several ideas worth remembering, revisiting, and putting into practice. For a book about how to live, that is a pretty compelling read and a good ROI :)
Review of advance copy received from Author
I've read several of Scott Berkun's books, and this is another good one. It's essentially a self-help book, a genre I don't usually read, but I really enjoyed the content. The inserts from great thinkers such as Carl Jung, Marcus Aurelius, Voltaire, Bodhidharma and others add considerable depth, encouraging deeper thought on topics such as feelings being our friends, observing ourselves, developing self-awareness, and how good rules can sometimes contradict one another.
_Rules for people who don't like rules_ is a particularly interesting theme. Some rules are, as the book suggests, “thoughtless, shallow, or serve only the people who enforce them.” However, not all rules are bad, and some are essential for keeping us alive. For example, in an emergency department, clinicians rely on established sepsis and cardiac arrest protocols and guidelines to ensure patients receive timely, appropriate treatment. It’s a good reminder that rules need to be considered in context rather than simply accepted or rejected.
There are plenty of good anecdotes throughout the book, including this observation:
“We use the word hypocrite as if it were some rare occurrence, but it’s commonplace. We are all in conflict with ourselves much of the time, we’re just too sleepy to notice.”
I particularly like this idea because it highlights how often we contradict ourselves without even being aware of it.
Overall, the book offers a fair exploration of how to live, with a philosophical approach to self-awareness, human behaviour and the human condition. It certainly gets you thinking, and even for someone who doesn't usually reach for self-help books, there's plenty here to reflect on.
_Rules for people who don't like rules_ is a particularly interesting theme. Some rules are, as the book suggests, “thoughtless, shallow, or serve only the people who enforce them.” However, not all rules are bad, and some are essential for keeping us alive. For example, in an emergency department, clinicians rely on established sepsis and cardiac arrest protocols and guidelines to ensure patients receive timely, appropriate treatment. It’s a good reminder that rules need to be considered in context rather than simply accepted or rejected.
There are plenty of good anecdotes throughout the book, including this observation:
“We use the word hypocrite as if it were some rare occurrence, but it’s commonplace. We are all in conflict with ourselves much of the time, we’re just too sleepy to notice.”
I particularly like this idea because it highlights how often we contradict ourselves without even being aware of it.
Overall, the book offers a fair exploration of how to live, with a philosophical approach to self-awareness, human behaviour and the human condition. It certainly gets you thinking, and even for someone who doesn't usually reach for self-help books, there's plenty here to reflect on.
October 26, 2026
"How can I tell if a book is really good?" I once asked my high school English teacher. "If it makes you laugh, if you really learn something from it, if you like to re-read after you finish, and if you remember it for a long time, then it is definitely a good book," she said.
So, is How to Live by Scott Berkun a good book? Let me see.
It made me laugh the first time I opened it. "Laudes a Mortius" ("Praise from the Dead") was a nice touch. As Pandora said, "No regrets."
I certainly learned a thing or two that I think will stay with me for a long time. For example, even after a few days, I'm still thinking about what I read in rules 2, 11, 15, and 26. The personal stories from Scott's life are also very good and memorable.
Do I want to reread the book? Definitely. Make no mistake, this book is deep. The writing is nice and easy, yet also provocative.
It makes you think. I found that Scott is different from me than I thought (and I have followed his writing for some time), and this makes the book even more interesting for me, as I started forming arguments against the author's ideas.
So three boxes have been checked, and the judge is out for the four. This book is very good. Add to that one of the best book covers I've seen in a long time.
So, go buy it. Read it. Then read it again.
So, is How to Live by Scott Berkun a good book? Let me see.
It made me laugh the first time I opened it. "Laudes a Mortius" ("Praise from the Dead") was a nice touch. As Pandora said, "No regrets."
I certainly learned a thing or two that I think will stay with me for a long time. For example, even after a few days, I'm still thinking about what I read in rules 2, 11, 15, and 26. The personal stories from Scott's life are also very good and memorable.
Do I want to reread the book? Definitely. Make no mistake, this book is deep. The writing is nice and easy, yet also provocative.
It makes you think. I found that Scott is different from me than I thought (and I have followed his writing for some time), and this makes the book even more interesting for me, as I started forming arguments against the author's ideas.
So three boxes have been checked, and the judge is out for the four. This book is very good. Add to that one of the best book covers I've seen in a long time.
So, go buy it. Read it. Then read it again.
October 26, 2026
Received copy in advance from the Author
Thank you to Scott Berkun for writing this book!
The book synthesizes knowledge from his education, personal experiences, and reflections in a concise yet conceptually deep way.
The reader may want to dwell on points made in the book and refer back to them for continued inspiration and guidance.
The author explains how a reader can benefit from increasing their self-awareness, and this, in turn, can help them understand other people more.
He explains why a person benefits from both their emotions and clear thinking.
He explains how often in life a person will benefit from balancing considerations and to expect a certain amount of gray areas.
He provides a number of examples of how platitudes provide contradictory viewpoints.
After reading this book, a person might reduce the number of fixed beliefs they have.
They may want to spend some time whistling or be around people who whistle.
The end of the book includes a colophon in which the author describes what the process of writing the book was like.
Even with the seriousness of the purpose of the book, the author often expresses himself in humorous ways.
Again, thank you to Scott Berkun for writing this book!
Thank you to Scott Berkun for writing this book!
The book synthesizes knowledge from his education, personal experiences, and reflections in a concise yet conceptually deep way.
The reader may want to dwell on points made in the book and refer back to them for continued inspiration and guidance.
The author explains how a reader can benefit from increasing their self-awareness, and this, in turn, can help them understand other people more.
He explains why a person benefits from both their emotions and clear thinking.
He explains how often in life a person will benefit from balancing considerations and to expect a certain amount of gray areas.
He provides a number of examples of how platitudes provide contradictory viewpoints.
After reading this book, a person might reduce the number of fixed beliefs they have.
They may want to spend some time whistling or be around people who whistle.
The end of the book includes a colophon in which the author describes what the process of writing the book was like.
Even with the seriousness of the purpose of the book, the author often expresses himself in humorous ways.
Again, thank you to Scott Berkun for writing this book!
Read
October 25, 2026Most of us aren’t short on time. We’re short on attention. We miss what matters.
Scott Berkun’s How to Live is 26 short, funny rules that pull you back. It opens with “Don’t Die,” a joke until he notes that 99.9% of everything that ever lived is dead. Just waking up is a win for most of humanity, which reminds me the This Is Water video.
He cites the old saying that “you are living someone else’s dream life.” A dull job would be unimaginable to a refugee fleeing war. We forget that our dullness is someone else's paradise, and that our lives are much more rewarding than we think. “Everything Is Made Up” goes further. Mondays, the five-day workweek, “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” (thanks, Kellogg’s).
People invented all of it as most of society.
“Show Up” is the most obvious yet we forget about it all the time, the equivalent is "Be Present." At a former coworker’s daughter’s funeral, he finds only a handful of mourners. Showing up and being present is a talent, and we skip it for things that won’t matter next week.
He admits “even the best rules for life must eventually contradict other good rules.” That honesty makes the rest easier to trust.
Scott Berkun’s How to Live is 26 short, funny rules that pull you back. It opens with “Don’t Die,” a joke until he notes that 99.9% of everything that ever lived is dead. Just waking up is a win for most of humanity, which reminds me the This Is Water video.
He cites the old saying that “you are living someone else’s dream life.” A dull job would be unimaginable to a refugee fleeing war. We forget that our dullness is someone else's paradise, and that our lives are much more rewarding than we think. “Everything Is Made Up” goes further. Mondays, the five-day workweek, “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” (thanks, Kellogg’s).
People invented all of it as most of society.
“Show Up” is the most obvious yet we forget about it all the time, the equivalent is "Be Present." At a former coworker’s daughter’s funeral, he finds only a handful of mourners. Showing up and being present is a talent, and we skip it for things that won’t matter next week.
He admits “even the best rules for life must eventually contradict other good rules.” That honesty makes the rest easier to trust.
November 5, 2026
In a nutshell, the book perfectly explains why we humans are so complex creatures and how the “minds” and “brain” are connected but fundamentally different terms (which is not such an obvious well-known fact as it may seems). And eventually shows how live on your own terms, not just inherited from society and others, and enjoy your life no matter what happens. And all this with sense of humor that (at least for me) is always a good characteristic of a good book. If we can laugh at ourselves - we are unbeatable and unstoppable.
If you are looking for answer to questions like “what is happiness?”, “what is the sense of life?” – these answers are in fact in this book, you just need to find them by your own (and it only works this way). And author is not just putting these as is in form of rules (like “Be happy”), or instead, he creates a kind of “mental framework” that help each and everyone of us to find these answers for ourselves.
P.S. And I agree with thesis that this book is not a best fit for young folks, at least – definitely plan to re-read it when you’ll be 50+ as myself (and author himself).
If you are looking for answer to questions like “what is happiness?”, “what is the sense of life?” – these answers are in fact in this book, you just need to find them by your own (and it only works this way). And author is not just putting these as is in form of rules (like “Be happy”), or instead, he creates a kind of “mental framework” that help each and everyone of us to find these answers for ourselves.
P.S. And I agree with thesis that this book is not a best fit for young folks, at least – definitely plan to re-read it when you’ll be 50+ as myself (and author himself).
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
In How to Live: Rules for People Who Don’t Like Rules, Scott Berkun offers a sharp, practical antidote to traditional self-help. Instead of handing down rigid formulas, Berkun presents a flexible toolkit designed for independent thinkers who prefer testing ideas over following orders. He rejects self-help "gurus" in favor of personal experimentation, using clear, conversational prose to break down decision-making, habits, and personal agency into bite-sized insights. By framing life changes as low-stakes trial and error rather than pass-or-fail tests, the book effectively removes the guilt often associated with habit building.
While readers seeking a single, step-by-step master plan might find the modular format loose, its pick-and-choose structure is precisely what makes it work so well. It is a refreshing, empowering read for anyone burnt out on rigid productivity advice.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
While readers seeking a single, step-by-step master plan might find the modular format loose, its pick-and-choose structure is precisely what makes it work so well. It is a refreshing, empowering read for anyone burnt out on rigid productivity advice.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
Review of advance copy received from Author
A refreshing, practical antidote to rigid self-help
How to Live: Rules for People Who Don’t Like Rules is a concise, humorous, and pragmatic guide to self-knowledge and living well. Berkun frames his advice not as rigid societal commandments, but as empowering, internal principles designed to help navigate the contradictions, anxieties, and absurdities of human existence.
Most books that claim to offer a blueprint for life lean heavily into empty platitudes, unearned certainty, or impossible morning routines. Berkun takes the opposite approach. He cuts through the noise with candid personal stories, philosophical depth, and a dry wit that never takes itself too seriously. Whether he is breaking down why our survival brains are wired to keep us fearful rather than happy, redefining self-discipline as an act of generosity toward our future selves, or demonstrating why life's ordinary routines ("chop wood, carry water") are where meaning actually lives, every chapter offers grounded, actionable insight.
It is rare to find a book that feels both deeply comforting and sharply challenging. Berkun concludes that living well requires no grand universal formula, but rather the courage to wake up, accept the messiness of being human, and repeatedly take responsibility for showing up in your own life.
An essential, memorable read that will stay with you long after the final page. Highly recommended!
How to Live: Rules for People Who Don’t Like Rules is a concise, humorous, and pragmatic guide to self-knowledge and living well. Berkun frames his advice not as rigid societal commandments, but as empowering, internal principles designed to help navigate the contradictions, anxieties, and absurdities of human existence.
Most books that claim to offer a blueprint for life lean heavily into empty platitudes, unearned certainty, or impossible morning routines. Berkun takes the opposite approach. He cuts through the noise with candid personal stories, philosophical depth, and a dry wit that never takes itself too seriously. Whether he is breaking down why our survival brains are wired to keep us fearful rather than happy, redefining self-discipline as an act of generosity toward our future selves, or demonstrating why life's ordinary routines ("chop wood, carry water") are where meaning actually lives, every chapter offers grounded, actionable insight.
It is rare to find a book that feels both deeply comforting and sharply challenging. Berkun concludes that living well requires no grand universal formula, but rather the courage to wake up, accept the messiness of being human, and repeatedly take responsibility for showing up in your own life.
An essential, memorable read that will stay with you long after the final page. Highly recommended!
October 27, 2026
Thanks to Scott Berkun for the advance copy!
Aptly titled, this book is really a good read for those who don't like rules (I am one of them). The title and cover capture the happily irreverent spirit of the book.
Divided into four parts are 26 rules to live by - practical, thoughtful and thought provoking, laced with the humour that makes rules palatable to the wild at heart. I particularly liked the chapters 'Don't Die', 'Knowing is not Doing', 'Exceptions Define You', 'Chop Wood', 'Think Slow', 'Ask Questions' and 'Do it Anyway'. The chapters incorporate a lot of quotes from various wise people and well known proverbs - which were a bit too much; as well as
examples from the author's own life - which I found interesting. I love that the book combines a positive 'can do' attitude with an intelligent approach to the general unknowableness of life.
This is the first book of Scott Berkun's that I have read. At some point I subscribed to his newsletters, and have always found them interesting. How to Live lived up to my expectations and I plan to look out for his other books.
Aptly titled, this book is really a good read for those who don't like rules (I am one of them). The title and cover capture the happily irreverent spirit of the book.
Divided into four parts are 26 rules to live by - practical, thoughtful and thought provoking, laced with the humour that makes rules palatable to the wild at heart. I particularly liked the chapters 'Don't Die', 'Knowing is not Doing', 'Exceptions Define You', 'Chop Wood', 'Think Slow', 'Ask Questions' and 'Do it Anyway'. The chapters incorporate a lot of quotes from various wise people and well known proverbs - which were a bit too much; as well as
examples from the author's own life - which I found interesting. I love that the book combines a positive 'can do' attitude with an intelligent approach to the general unknowableness of life.
This is the first book of Scott Berkun's that I have read. At some point I subscribed to his newsletters, and have always found them interesting. How to Live lived up to my expectations and I plan to look out for his other books.
October 27, 2026
Who needs another self-help book in 2026? No one! Who needs a self-help book written by Scott Berkun? Everyone!
Scott is back to his witty and cheerful self, tackling deep philosophical questions with his trademark humor and profound insights into life. He reminds us why we should cherish the mere fact of being alive. He warns us about our thoughts and desires, which can sometimes turn out to be misleading friends. And the best thing about Scott is that he remains a wonderful writer, with beautifully balanced sentences and a knack for getting straight to the point.
Scott has been one of the thinkers who have guided me most, both professionally and personally, over the past twenty years or so. Whether he's writing about business (projects, innovation, presentations, design) or deeper, more personal topics (the ideas in Mindfire, his relationship with his dad), the result is always a deeply rewarding and joyful reading experience, full of humor and wisdom.
This is probably one of his finest books, and you come away from it feeling like a better human being.
Highly recommended!
Scott is back to his witty and cheerful self, tackling deep philosophical questions with his trademark humor and profound insights into life. He reminds us why we should cherish the mere fact of being alive. He warns us about our thoughts and desires, which can sometimes turn out to be misleading friends. And the best thing about Scott is that he remains a wonderful writer, with beautifully balanced sentences and a knack for getting straight to the point.
Scott has been one of the thinkers who have guided me most, both professionally and personally, over the past twenty years or so. Whether he's writing about business (projects, innovation, presentations, design) or deeper, more personal topics (the ideas in Mindfire, his relationship with his dad), the result is always a deeply rewarding and joyful reading experience, full of humor and wisdom.
This is probably one of his finest books, and you come away from it feeling like a better human being.
Highly recommended!
Review of advance copy received from Author
Berkun took the best ideas from the Stoics, the Buddhists, and Alan Watts and made them funny, short, and impossible to ignore.
How to Live has 26 rules in under 100 pages. Scott admits partway through that you've probably heard a lot of this advice before, but the book works because he makes it relatable by showing you the times he didn't follow it. He nearly dies in an ICU at 20. On the night he graduates, he sits alone on his balcony drinking cheap whiskey. A surgery leaves him able to speak only in a whisper, and he has a breakdown.
The book is also funny. It opens with blurbs from dead people (Sisyphus: “Five stars. Same five stars tomorrow.”). When he has you check your pulse, he tells you that if you can’t find one, you no longer need advice on how to live, though good advice on how to be dead is harder to find.
I've followed Scott's for almost 20 years -- since my sophomore year of high school -- and I think this is the best book yet!
How to Live has 26 rules in under 100 pages. Scott admits partway through that you've probably heard a lot of this advice before, but the book works because he makes it relatable by showing you the times he didn't follow it. He nearly dies in an ICU at 20. On the night he graduates, he sits alone on his balcony drinking cheap whiskey. A surgery leaves him able to speak only in a whisper, and he has a breakdown.
The book is also funny. It opens with blurbs from dead people (Sisyphus: “Five stars. Same five stars tomorrow.”). When he has you check your pulse, he tells you that if you can’t find one, you no longer need advice on how to live, though good advice on how to be dead is harder to find.
I've followed Scott's for almost 20 years -- since my sophomore year of high school -- and I think this is the best book yet!
Review of advance copy received from Author
Rules you’ll argue with — which is rather the point
I’ve read most of Scott Berkun’s books, going back to The Myths of Innovation, which I still recommend to clients. This one is different: shorter and more personal. It’s a book about how to relate to yourself, written by someone who has done that the hard way.
I keep coming back to a line from Rule 23: stop seeing tasks as easy or hard; see them as familiar or unfamiliar. For 30+ years I’ve worked with people who’ve decided they “can’t” do something, and this reframe is the most useful tool I’ve picked up in a long while.
The distinction between polishing a dream and chasing one is a close second. I’ve seen (and created) a lot of beautifully polished dreams.
It is a short book, and Scott’s writing is funny in the way his best work is (dry and direct). His irreverence won’t land with everyone, but that’s part of the appeal for me!
I received an advance copy from the author for review.
I’ve read most of Scott Berkun’s books, going back to The Myths of Innovation, which I still recommend to clients. This one is different: shorter and more personal. It’s a book about how to relate to yourself, written by someone who has done that the hard way.
I keep coming back to a line from Rule 23: stop seeing tasks as easy or hard; see them as familiar or unfamiliar. For 30+ years I’ve worked with people who’ve decided they “can’t” do something, and this reframe is the most useful tool I’ve picked up in a long while.
The distinction between polishing a dream and chasing one is a close second. I’ve seen (and created) a lot of beautifully polished dreams.
It is a short book, and Scott’s writing is funny in the way his best work is (dry and direct). His irreverence won’t land with everyone, but that’s part of the appeal for me!
I received an advance copy from the author for review.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I’m a big Scott Berkun fan. He’s a human-centered subversive who has found his way in this messy world. He begins How to Live by walking out of a high school dean’s office. Nobody gave him permission, and nobody ever brought it up again. It’s a fitting start for a book about rules for people who don’t like them. As in The Myths of Innovation, Berkun challenges clichés with humor and openness. This time the targets are platitudes, achievement anxiety, and our habit of sleepwalking through life. For those of us who lead communities, Rule 15 alone is worth the price. Every tradition was made up by someone, so we’re free to ask whether it still serves us. Short, funny, and generous, it’s a guide to waking up, and to showing up for one another once we do. My shorthand: be decent, use your agency, and keep asking which rules still serve the people around you.
Review of advance copy received from Author
If you know Scott’s work you will find a familiar voice in this straightforward and humorous approach to leading a more observant and manageable life. The advice is plainspoken with a bit of snark, and big questions left open to the reader. As always, well researched and infused with Scott’s signature self-deprecating style, this book comes from an honest place where he has wrestled with important questions and is not ashamed to share his journey of self discovery. I appreciated the detour from the usual self help books that sometimes feel like like advertisements for the authors workshops, but at the same time I found some of the rules wanting for more depth - perhaps one can find that in the extensive references contained in the footnotes.
Review of advance copy received from Author
There's a lifetime of wisdom in these 100 pages - an impressive compendium of valuable advice sourced from philosophy, self-help gurus, and a surprisingly large amount of social media.
While it does tend to ramble excessively and occasionally veer off into irrelevant tangents/distractions, the core life advice is solid and there are some truly golden nuggets in there. Some examples stick more than others (e.g., choosing the right expectations and being at peace with the "chop wood, carry water" aspects of life).
I appreciated the brevity of each chapter (which makes it easy to skip around if you wish) as well as the practical exercises sprinkled throughout. Makes a great gift for anyone who might be feeling lost or without purpose - increasingly common in the modern era!
While it does tend to ramble excessively and occasionally veer off into irrelevant tangents/distractions, the core life advice is solid and there are some truly golden nuggets in there. Some examples stick more than others (e.g., choosing the right expectations and being at peace with the "chop wood, carry water" aspects of life).
I appreciated the brevity of each chapter (which makes it easy to skip around if you wish) as well as the practical exercises sprinkled throughout. Makes a great gift for anyone who might be feeling lost or without purpose - increasingly common in the modern era!
Review of advance copy received from Author
I didn't realize how much I needed this book until I was several chapters into it. I have been struggling to make sense of the world right now and Berkun reminded me that I'm still here to live my one short life and there are lots of ways I can work with whatever I'm dealing with. It's not self-help because the fundamental point is to figure out what works for me and to step into living fully regardless of the crazy. But it really helped me reframe some questions and my thinking.
It's also funny, profound, silly, insightful, and very fun. My (grown) kids are all getting copies this year. And I will go back to it along the way.
It's also funny, profound, silly, insightful, and very fun. My (grown) kids are all getting copies this year. And I will go back to it along the way.
October 23, 2026
Hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprisingly profound!
I have read other books of Scott Berkun, and his *How to Live* is one of those rare books that makes you laugh out loud one moment and stop to reflect on life the next.
It's packed with wisdom, witty observations, uncomfortable truths, and wonderfully simple advice about living better. What I particularly enjoyed is how Scott tackles serious questions about life without ever taking himself too seriously.
It's funny, honest, refreshingly unconventional, and full of little nuggets of wisdom you'll want to revisit.
A delightful read. Highly recommended!
I have read other books of Scott Berkun, and his *How to Live* is one of those rare books that makes you laugh out loud one moment and stop to reflect on life the next.
It's packed with wisdom, witty observations, uncomfortable truths, and wonderfully simple advice about living better. What I particularly enjoyed is how Scott tackles serious questions about life without ever taking himself too seriously.
It's funny, honest, refreshingly unconventional, and full of little nuggets of wisdom you'll want to revisit.
A delightful read. Highly recommended!
Review of advance copy received from Author
This is not a “self help book” in the quick-fix, “just do this and you’ll be successful” definition of self help. How To Live seamlessly blends stories from Scott’s past with philosophy from many traditions to illustrate how those philosophies apply to life.
Scott’s writing is easy to read and fun while being insightful on every point.
If you loved The Good Place’s ability to blend storytelling, honesty, humor, and seamlessly anchoring it in philosophy without feeling like it was trying too hard, you’ll love this book.
If you’ve been curious about philosophy without wanting to dive into an academic text, you’ll love this.
Highly recommend!
Scott’s writing is easy to read and fun while being insightful on every point.
If you loved The Good Place’s ability to blend storytelling, honesty, humor, and seamlessly anchoring it in philosophy without feeling like it was trying too hard, you’ll love this book.
If you’ve been curious about philosophy without wanting to dive into an academic text, you’ll love this.
Highly recommend!
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