Breaking Through "Bitch": How Women Can Shatter Stereotypes and Lead Fearlessly

by Carol Vallone Mitchell, Tanya Eby (Reader)

When a man strongly asserts his point of view and autonomy, he is hailed as a strong, competent leader. When a woman exhibits the same executive qualities, she is labeled a brusque, overbearing bitch. This is not really news anymore, is it? Yet these unfair perceptions are a key reason why only five percent of Fortune 500 company CEOs are women. How can women leaders break through that brick wall of “bitch?” How can they manage gender expectations and still successfully climb the corporate ladder? Breaking Through “Bitch” takes an innovative, sometimes controversial approach, using stories from executives at the highest corporate levels to show how women can hone their innate skills, rise to the top, and be effective, outstanding leaders. It addresses head-on why women cannot and should not “act like men.” Breaking Through “Bitch” :
• Describes the unique profile of behaviors that top women leaders have in common.
• Reveals why such stereotypically feminine characteristics as nurturing, empathy, and inclusiveness are the keys to power, not signs of weakness.
• Shows how these characteristics can be equally effective for men in our fast-changing world. Breaking Through “Bitch” empowers women to be their best selves, overcome stereotypes, and lead!

Audio CD

First published September 21, 2015

Reviews

[1Lady_Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think you guys are misunderstanding what the author is saying. She's not saying that you have to be married in order to be successful, merely pointing out that it's easier if you're married and unattractive. The chapter points out that women have to navigate men's... desires. It's showing you how the accusation of "sleeping your way to the top" isn't just something benign and can actually really hinder you in your success. She's not saying "you have to be married to be successful," she's saying that married women have an easier time avoiding this hurdle. I thought such comments suck but ultimately benign, this chapter taught me otherwise.

Aside from that, I actually enjoyed this book. It's surprising because I'm actually the polar opposite of the target audience of this book: nice to a fault, very people pleasing, doesn't struggle to avoid being called a "bitch." I think I gravitated towards this book because it seemed like every time I stood my ground, I got severe backlash and then I get called a bitch. I'm new to trying to find my voice I thought I must be doing it wrong. This book really helped me contextualize these interactions and now that I know that the problem was mostly being more assertive while woman (bad), I feel empowered to do it more and now I have tools to do it more effectively if I need to. Funnily enough, this book backfired and turned me into more of a bitch.

Even though I'm the farthest thing from the target audience, I'm not exactly the hardened strong woman depicted I'm this book, I think this book helped me become a stronger person. If you think the advice depicted in this book is completely unreasonable, then maybe you needed to read it to learn that it's completely pointless to try to avoid being seen as a bitch and relieve yourself of that responsibility. I find such realizations to be weirdly freeing. Learning that my newfound voice could just be rejected because I'm a woman freed me. I technically didn't do anything inherently bad, I just didn’t take steps to make it more comforting and now I can choose whether or not that matters to me.

[Bec · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an empowering book and overall an educational read. I liked the author's tone throughout the book and the bluntness she stated her ideas and practices of what should be used in the workforce. A bit boring to read, needs a more pizazz, I liked the idea of the book and it is illustrated as such. I can tell that the author also put a lot of research into this book, Kudos. Although I thought this was a good read for this genre, it is not my cup of tea since I don't read these types of books that much or at all.

[Diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book lost my interest when the author suggested that in order to be a good female leader you should be married so that you aren't put in the bitch category of leader. What happened to authenticity? A single lady can't be a good leader? Or must she pretend to be married? I am sure there is some value in the things that the author suggests, but this lost credibility with me.

[Kinsley C · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave up on this book. It basically boiled down to “women are supposed to pawn off their achievements to other men” and I found it extremely offensive. Thought it would help manage drive in the workforce and it severely underdelivered.

[JJ Ferguson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was painful to read. I almost didn't finish it.

[Deborah Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

The opening paragraph spoke to me! "Carol Mitchell makes a strong case for why women need to stop trying to be like men, and develop a unique and different leadership skills that actually do help us succeed." YES!!!!!

This book is a very quick read and left me thinking, which is always a good thing! The entire book was written in an uplifting tone, and I appreciated that, as there are so many books for women and leadership out there, but not all of them are uplifting.

Mitchell introduces a Women’s Leadership Blueprint ™. It’s nine competencies that successful women leaders embody.

One of the chapters discussed that sex sells. Yet, I still see women who are in "higher up" positions wearing dresses/skirts that are too tight, and too short, or have too much cleavage showing. Until we make some of those changes ourselves, then yes, "sex is going to continue to sell, because we as women are letting it, and we are putting our bodies out there in the work force for men and others to give us the "oogle" eyes. We as women can be our worst enemies, we say we want to be leaders and move up the corporate ladder, but then that is how we treat ourselves? By dressing inappropriately? It is not doing us any favors.

The chapter on Women's Road Map For Leadership was my favorite chapter of the book! With chapter 5, Win Them Over: Influence being my second favorite! There was a lot of good information jam packed into these two chapters!

There are so many great quotes throughout the book, and I had a hard time picking a few of my favorites, I tried my best, but there are quite a few!

"So, for instance, effective leaders are "strong," "powerful," and "potent." Too often, masculine terms are used to mean good while feminine terms are used to mean bad."

"Words become so much a part of lexicon that we don't even realize, or at least we don't think about, what their underlying meaning might be."

"The challenge for women in positions of leadership - or working toward positions of leadership - is that they have to deal with the fact we first have expectations of them as women."

"Successful female leaders have a strong belief in their ability, taking on challenges with enthusiasm." LOVE IT!

"Proud as a Peacock, it is any wonder why it is a male bird that is the chosen representative of pride?"

"The power of persuasion is one of the most prevalent competencies demonstrated by both executive women and men, but there is a difference in how they demonstrate it."

Biggest take away of the book: women may take longer to get to the top, but in the end their broad experiences make them a better leader and boss!

[Carol Vallone Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am the author, so I am biased 😊

[Diana Beckham · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok, but I totally disagree with you need to be married or in a relationship to be successful as a leader.