True Ladies and Proper Gentlemen: Victorian Etiquette for Modern-Day Mothers and Fathers, Husbands and Wives, Boys and Girls, Teachers and Students, and ... and Girls, Teachers and Students, and M)

by Sarah A. Chrisman

Regardless of time period, some things hold kindness is timeless.Invasion of privacy; divorce; relationship issues; encounters between people from different places and cultures; new technologies developed at dizzying speeds . . . the hectic pace of life in the late nineteenth century could make the mind reel.Wait a minute-the nineteenth century?Many of the issues people faced in the 1880s and ’90s surprisingly remain problems in today’s modern world, so why not take a peek at some Victorian advice about negotiating life’s dizzying twists and turns? Gathered from period magazines and Hill’s Manual of Social and Business Forms, a book on social conduct originally published in 1891, this volume provides timeless guidance for a myriad of situations, The husband’s Give your wife every advantage that it is possible to bestow.Suggestions about Purchasers should, as far as possible, patronize the merchants of their own town. (Buy local!)Suggestions for Having paid for one ticket, you are entitled to only one seat. It shows selfishness to deposit a large amount of baggage in the surrounding seats and occupy three or four.Unclassified laws of Never leave home with unkind words.This advice is accompanied by watercolors and illustrations throughout. Though these are tips originate from nineteenth-century ideas, you’ll find that they certainly do still apply.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Victorian, Self Help

204 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 5, 2015

About the author

Sarah A. Chrisman grew up in Renton, Washington, in the late twentieth-century, but always felt she should have been born in the 1800's. (When she was a young child, her mother took her to visit the Flavel House Victorian Museum in Astoria, Oregon, and Sarah begged to be left there.) Like any good Victorian lady, she has an advanced education in the humanities: she holds degrees in both International Studies and in French from the University of Washington (c/o 2002.) She has found a way to combine her interest in cultural studies with her lifelong love of history by helping people understand the culture and everyday details of the Victorian era. She has presented to groups at numerous museums, libraries, and schools. She wears Victorian clothing every day and her book, Victorian Secrets: What A Corset Taught Me About The Past, The Present, and Myself, chronicles her first year of wearing a Victorian-style corset twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. She lives with her husband in Port Townsend, Washington, a beautiful Victorian seaport northwest of Seattle.

Reviews

[Lisa Mansfield-Silkey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice little glimpse into the past, brightened up and made relevant. This book goes some way into explaining archaic social graces that have fallen off in modern times, too. The fiction used at the top of some chapters were well picked. Of course, since this is a manual at the end of the day, it wasn’t absolutely seamless reading, but that’s on the genre more than the writing or formatting.

[Siri Olsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Starting off the new year with some books on the Victorian period. True Ladies and Proper Gentlemen is a delightful little read, filled to the brim with Victorian advice on everything from etiquette over lifestyle to fashion. It reads very much like the Victorian equivalent of the lifestyle/beauty blog, and it's clear that the author has chosen the pieces of advice to be shared in order to strengthen that feeling. The book manages to cover a respectable amount of ground in a relatively short number of pages and provides a fascinating insight on Victorian conceptions of decency and honour, but the book never tries to be more than what it is: a short collection of Victorian tips and etiquette advice, with varying degrees of relevance for modern readers, passed on from a real Victorian book of etiquette. One of those history books that makes you long to crawl into the pages and immerse yourself in a Victorian lifestyle.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains some good common sense. Wouldn't the world be better if we all had some.

[Abigail Wildes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely LOVED this book. Oh if I could just live within its words~

[Olene Quinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a compilation of Victorian advice curated primarily from magazines of the era. Contrary to what you might think of an "etiquette" manual, the focus here is not on the micro details of fussy silverware arrangements or courtesy titles. Instead, the subject matter is respect and kindness and the small ways they can be shown to others.

I think modern people, always directed by pop culture towards complete self absorption, should be encouraged more in this direction. So, this short book is worth a read even if you're not particularly interested in the late Victorian era.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absolute delight! There are so many cases where the etiquette of the Victorians would be totally and refreshingly appropriate today! Honest good manners never go out of style, and simply reflect a desire to put those around oneself at ease.

[Severind Alexander · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel some of these Victorian mannerisms would be acceptable today. Common courtesy and respect would undoubtedly be nice.

[Lynne Jacobs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I collect etiquette books and this was a welcome addition. The book is divided into sections for different areas of life, and is based on etiquette from the Victorian era; however, it is valid for this era as well. It is edited and introduced by Sarah A. Chrisman, who is uniquely qualified in that she and her husband live their lives as though it were still the Victorian era. This is a book to pick up at random for reference, but I read it straight through and was reminded again how much "manners matter." (And for more information about the editor and her very interesting Victorian life, read her book, This Victorian Life.

[Andrianna · Rating 2 out of 5]

An interesting look at Victorian life and etiquette, but overall this book didn't hold my attention well.