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All About Demisexuality

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Learn more about demisexuality and what demisexuals experience. Get advice on whether demisexuality is the right label for you.All About Demisexuality was carefully written and researched to address a variety of topics related to this orientation. With expanded content and more in-depth discussions on topics related to demisexuality, All About Demisexuality is a comprehensive, valuable resource for demisexuals and their allies.Features include:‣ Affirming, gentle advice on understanding your identity‣ Advice on being a kinky or polyamorous demisexual‣ An exploration of intersectional demisexual identities‣ Rebuttals to common misconceptions of demisexuality‣ Chapters to share with family, friends, and partners‣ And more!

91 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 27, 2015

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Demisexuality.org

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5 stars
39 (42%)
4 stars
36 (39%)
3 stars
12 (13%)
2 stars
4 (4%)
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0 (0%)
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
6 reviews3 followers
May 10, 2017
Like another reviewer, I stumbled upon the concept of demisexuality (except my encounter was during another half-hearted Tinder/Bumble swiping session). I decided to look it up and some of what I was reading connected with my own experiences. Browsing around for literature, there did not appear to be a whole lot out there but I eventually settled on this.

Somewhat informative but very dry and repetitive. It lacks a lot of cited authority but perhaps this is too new of an area to have developed much research. Overall, it seems more like a collection of affirmations that it's okay to be demisexual, and that it's okay to also like sex, dislike sex, have kinks, or not have kinks.

I walked away with not a whole lot more than what my wikipedia browsing had given me. Even worse, I am now a little dubious if demisexuality doesn't amount to much more than something slightly above sexuality, or possibly sexuality understood in a (possibly imaginary) "classically romantic" sense. Still, it's a nice first step and I hope more is developed on the subject over time.
Profile Image for Eric.
792 reviews
November 23, 2017
When should physical intimacy take place

This book describes certain people who need emotional intimacy before being sexually involved with a person. The information is fairly new as the terminology used has just started to be shared. Reading this helps clarify for those people who need a true bond before bowing its right to be sexually intimate is okay and not strange or abnormal.
Profile Image for Henry Le Nav.
195 reviews94 followers
December 30, 2018
Compact, concise, and informative. Perhaps a bit repetitious. An excellent resource for those curious about demisexuality.

For the mildly curious, you can probably find out all you need to know at

http://demisexuality.org
Profile Image for Erin.
244 reviews
February 3, 2024
Very helpful information. This is like one of the only books out there on Demisexuality. I am greatful I own a Kindle,
So that I was able to have it. It helped me figure out things about myself that I couldn’t put into words.
Profile Image for Rae Roy.
Author 1 book5 followers
June 24, 2020
This was a helpful resource. It covered a lot in a condensed package. I only wish it went into romanticism in more depth, but there are links for further reading.
Profile Image for Liam Xavier.
Author 5 books5 followers
July 24, 2022
This is one of those books that's very much needed in the non fiction sphere and in fact I'd love to see more fiction books bringing a Demi/Ace character into the forefront. Either way, All About Demisexuality feels almost like an articulate, thoughtfully structured pamphlet to the world of Demisexuality and the ACE spectrum as a whole. Its an introduction both to those who identify as a variant of Demi or ACE and want to learn about more to feel validated (like me) or for those who are friends and family members of those identifying within the community.

I think, from the way I like to learn about these types of topics, I'd love to have heard more research or surveyed information relating to the psychology and individual experiences of those on the Spectrum. However I'm aware this book was written more as a self-help, from-a-personal-pov perspective and that there is little out there that has been studied.

For me, what I found most useful and important was the books focus on the fluidity of the term and the stressing of intersectionality. They deal with what it means to be Demi or ACE by explaining that different people relate to the term on different levels which from a personal level I appreciated as I find, even in the Demi community, I'm still a little outside of it and inside of it at the same time. This book says "that's still a valid Demi identity and here's some more terms you might not be aware of"

Glossary terms such as "aromantic", "biromantic" and "sensual/aesthetic attraction" were terms very much outside of my previous understanding that brought a whole new intrigue into what we call sex and love.

Finally, there isn't much on the market in the way of ACE spectrum stories and I hope it grows and that, as a writer, I will contribute but for now this is a book I will point people to as a strong "beginners guide".
Profile Image for Steph is: Pageturning578.
358 reviews47 followers
June 7, 2022
4 stars

If you asked me a month ago if I identified as Demisexual I would have said "What the heck is that!" after reading this book I am still a bit confused if I 100% fit but I at least know that I am not alone in how I feel towards guys and wanting to date. I also know I'm not alone in my personal choice of not wanting to have sex without some sort of long term connection with the person. I had no idea there was a term for my feelings or outlook on relationships, sex, and dating.

I've always felt disconnected from my peers when they talk about their sexual experiences or crushes in high school and college. I didn't feel comfortable discussing multiple hookups or graphic experiences. And I definitely didn't want to participate. I've thought something was wrong with me for feelings this way and I am so glad I was wrong and there are people who feel the same way as I do about this topic.

Am I still confused? Absolutely! I've read one book and have been introduced to more terms and possible sub terms that I may also fit in. Am I going to continue researching this topic absolutely! I only found out about demisexuality and asexuality 3 days ago! Since then I have been to my first Pride event and bought another book on Asexuality. I am just at the beginning of this journey! There is so much more to learn and explore. I don't expect to figure this life long battle out in a week!
Profile Image for ariana.
240 reviews125 followers
June 7, 2022
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thoughts: as someone who identifies as demisexual this book made me feel so seen. over the last few years i have come to terms with my identify and then book helped me realize so much more. I really wish this book was so much longer because i needed more of this. i loved the explanation of everything. and how the author broke down each level of demisexuality and how it looks for everyone.
Profile Image for Jenna.
7 reviews
December 24, 2022
I found this book in 2019 when I was trying to figure out if I was demisexual or not. It helped me so much. This book talks not only about different types of attraction, but different combinations of them, which is something I needed to read. There’s even an entire section dedicated to validation. I would recommend this book whether you’re demi, figuring out your identity, or just a human being. It helped me so much.
Profile Image for Emily F..
300 reviews8 followers
December 20, 2020
This was even more delightfully thorough than I was expecting. Included a chapter for loved ones and/or partners of demisexuals, as well as deeper dives into various aspects of the demisexual experience, plus an amazing list of resources at the end. Really really glad this is out there.
Profile Image for Ryan Moore.
513 reviews17 followers
December 3, 2023
Read this one to understand where a friend is at. Really important information here if you know anyone who’s demi.
Profile Image for Purra.
73 reviews10 followers
February 11, 2021
An excellent read for anyone who is questioning whether or not they're Demisexual, or who just wants to learn more. This is meant to inform, rather than entertain, which is what I was looking for. It had the information I needed, written in a very clear and concise manner.
Profile Image for Bridget Jeffries.
144 reviews9 followers
December 21, 2016
I stumbled onto the concept of demisexuality while reading up on asexuality and found it fascinating. This book appears to be the most thorough thing written on the subject. The author seems earnest and eager to help others, and I wanted to like this book.

Unfortunately, it's just not a very well-written book. The writing style is bland, repetitive, and completely bereft of humor. Whatever demisexuality is, this book makes is sound like a funeral march. While I realize that research on demisexuality is near non-existent, there were ancillary subjects (heterosexuality, LGBTQ+ topics, religion, autism, asexuality in general) where a little bit of research and citation would have gone a long way. As it is, these sections come off as rushed and remedial.

Probably the thing that was most missing from this book that would have improved it is anecdotes from self-identified demisexuals. The author says she has run a blog and/or forum for years and spoken with hundreds of demisexuals; seems like some anecdotes should have been easy enough to come by. Without anecdotes, the book's points are easy to forget.

The book doesn't have a very strong cohesive structure. It doesn't even have a conclusion. Also, why is there even a section on how to find BDSM meet-ups here? That just seems off-topic.

I hope this criticism is taken as constructive. I get that this is a self-published e-book and often these turn out to be first drafts for bigger and better things. Change the things I listed and this is a 3-or-4-star book at least.
Profile Image for Csenge.
Author 20 books76 followers
January 18, 2016
A very compact and comprehensive introduction to the concept of demisexuality. It has many answers, and a separate chapter for friends&family to read, and one for partners. It also talks about negotiating sexual experiences in general, and includes a separate chapter on intersecting identities. Well written, clear, supportive, and very well organized.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews