How to Steal the Mona Lisa: and Six Other World-Famous Treasures

by Taylor Bayouth

How to Steal the Mona Lisa offers a step-by-step guide for the craft of high stakes thievery. The author meticulously describes seven heists that range from stealing priceless art, such as the "Mona Lisa" and Rodin's "Thinker," to rare artifacts such as the Hope Diamond. You'll find all the information needed in this book to acquire equipment, recruit partners, strategize the perfect crime, and discreetly sell off stolen national treasures.

Learn to:
- Camouflage a getaway car.
- Hack security systems.
- Navigate air ducts.
- Master the art of disguise.
- Pick locks, scale buildings, and more.

With detailed line art throughout, the book also features historical background on the artifacts and previous failed attempts to steal them.

Genres: Nonfiction, Crime, Humor

224 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2016

About the author

Taylor Bayouth was born in Los Angeles, California, where he currently lives with his wife and daughter. On any given day you will find him creating something new—whether it’s art, technology, literature, or his next museum heist.

Reviews

[Tasha]

Very informative. I recommend it to all aspiring art thieves!

[Douglas Lord]

Q: Can a book simultaneously be kind of stupid and kind of brilliant? A: Yes. See: Iain F. Svenonius’s Supernatural Strategies for Making a Rock 'n' Roll Group and David Rees’s How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical and Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants. In one sense Mona Lisa is long-form, silly comedy. In another it’s a considered, clear series of attacks on convention and the concept of “value.” After all, who (apart from everyone) says that things like the Hope Diamond have “value?” And what could you get for them if you could find a buyer? The dry, almost imperceptible humor, such as that stealing the titular painting requires “…a comprehensive understanding of the security camera in the Salle des Etats and a janitorial position at the Louvre itself,” is ever present. All of the heists will take time, capital, and months of preparation. And that’s the fun part. Nabbing the Archaeopteryx Lithographica, for example, requires tunneling under Berlin’s Museum für Naturkunde. “With steadfast determination and some good old-fashioned elbow grease,” notes Bayouth, “you should be there in eight to ten weeks.” And the primary obstacle to stealing Rodin’s The Thinker is its weight—about 1,900 pounds. You’ll also need to learn to pilot a commercial helicopter and build a scratch bridge rectifier to rectify the default alternating current (AC) power into direct current (DC) off the capacitor chain you had to build to snap the statue’s retaining bolts. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy, right? A serious book review would point out that the basic primers on selling goods on the black market, money laundering, and disappearing completely (acquiring a clean social security number requires a baby—or at least the pretense of one) are, regrettably, woefully inadequate. But who would pick nits with such a work of sublime absurdity? VERDICT If you like the planning stages of heist books like Roger Hobbs’s Ghostman and the work of Donald E. Westlake, try it.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Joseph]

Sadly, can't really recommend this quick read. I picked it up expecting a lighthearted, satiric and slightly technical look into Being a Professional Art Thief. The fun was underwhelming, the satire was completely lacking, and the professional details were eye-rollingly bad. Yawn. Best avoid.

[Fraser Kinnear]

Fantastic :-)

[Scones&Bones]

Not likely to help you become an international museum theft but that hopefully was not your goal in considering this book. Quick and humorous read. Also someone should create an upscale "escape room" based on this book because these scenarios sound like they'd be fun to attempt.

[Pat]

I was hoping for some entertainingly plausible what-if scenarios, but instead it's more of a collection of movie plots.

[Zoe Blake]

An excellent author resource especially if you are looking for a quick and dirty list of equipment for a heist.

[Shae]

More informative and way more well-researched than I expected it to be, ngl.

[Reuben Robert]

entertaining read.

[MeatResponse]

Funny

[Mary]

A must read, especially for anyone who writes (IT HAS A LOT OF GOOD RANDOM INFO). I found this in a discount store, but idk why the heck it was there. This book was great.

[The Otter]

Interesting and fun. good for learning about heists.

[Lauren F]

Pretty sure this inspired the louvre heist

[Pocosnoopy]

A thief's how-to kept me interested but it as a light read.

[Nick Roark]

Clever