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Globster Time Machine
Getting dumped is one of the worst feelings ever. Just ask hopeless romantic and borderline alcoholic extraordinaire, Vincent Vecker, who’s about to commit suicide in Aurora, IN, a place where ex-girlfriends are just as much the present as they are the past. There isn’t a soul alive who thinks Vincent will ever get his act together. Not in time that is. He’s too selfish and his relationships always end in a sloppy mess. But, what happens when he meets a metal Globster washed up on the shore at the beach? Can the two of them work together to solve Vincent’s life problems, make some new friends, and land him back on his own two feet, or in the driver’s seat of a brand new convertible with the top down on a super ultra-mega hot date with the talk of the town, Holly Hollow? Globster Time Machine is an action-packed Bizarro Adventure story all mixed up inside those classic Science Fiction time travel tales that we all know and grew to love so much. Brought to you by the fine folks over at Riot Forge.
115 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2015
About the author
Jon R. Meyers
17 books45 followersJon R. Meyers is a freelance author, staff book reviewer at The Horror Zine, and social media coordinator for the Horror Writers Association Chicagoland Chapter, as well as a former resident book reviewer for The Horror Fiction Review (2012-2020). His body of work has appeared in a number of various publications specializing in Occult, Horror, and Weird Fiction. Jon is thirty-nine years old and is currently residing in the Chicagoland area, where he can be found reading, writing, and hiking. For more information, please feel free to visit him on social media or find him at jonrmeyers.wordpress.com
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
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February 14, 2016This copy is signed by Jon Meyers.
March 28, 2017
Globster Time Machine is an interesting take on science fiction bizarro. It has some similarities with Meyer's previous book on Riot Forge, Pink Planet. This one isn't quite as sleazy, but it's a whole lot weirder. A talking globster time machine takes our snide hero through a series of weird and cringey adventures through time and uh, space. There's a major theme of teen angst and failure to launch early adult sexual insecurities going on here, particularly in the first half. The weirdness really ramps up at the close though with some reptilian male virginity woes, hot mermaid porn shop clerks, and gross butt eating. And did I mention they meet a hot chick after shrinking down to enter the main character's mother's vagina? Yeah, there's a world in there.
Some have mentioned the major plot deviation that happens about two thirds of the way through, and although the digression could have been edited and fleshed out a little better to flow with the main story line the plot wraps up how I expected it would in the end. And even though the main character is fairly unlikable it worked for me as a plot device to show how nasty relationships can get and how stupid people act when they end. Plus the narration often makes fun of the main characters with gratuitous third person profanity that was pretty damn funny. There were some real zingers in here. Plus this book uses the term 'doghouse' as a verb, which is always a good thing.
Some have mentioned the major plot deviation that happens about two thirds of the way through, and although the digression could have been edited and fleshed out a little better to flow with the main story line the plot wraps up how I expected it would in the end. And even though the main character is fairly unlikable it worked for me as a plot device to show how nasty relationships can get and how stupid people act when they end. Plus the narration often makes fun of the main characters with gratuitous third person profanity that was pretty damn funny. There were some real zingers in here. Plus this book uses the term 'doghouse' as a verb, which is always a good thing.
January 6, 2019
I forgot I had this book on my shelf at work. I brought it home as my weekend read. It was fun.
Some of the other reviewers were right. It does seem like two different stories woven together, but I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing. It reminded me of an episode of a television show that develops the team dynamic and then focuses on a specific member of the team.
It is a difficult book to review because both halves of the book have different strengths and weaknesses. The first half seems almost non-fiction, and I really liked the story of this guy trying to figure out why his love life is so fucked up. I think that deserved more attention. Like this was the bizarro Flight of the Navigator for adults waiting to happen.
Then shit gets kinky. Really kinky. I can see how PC hounds might get a little bent out of shape by some of the shit contained therein, but it didn’t bother me.
If you’re looking for something quick and fun, I’d check it out. I’d go 3.5 stars, but I’m rounding up because some of the reviewers seemed a bit rough on this title.
Some of the other reviewers were right. It does seem like two different stories woven together, but I don’t think that is necessarily a bad thing. It reminded me of an episode of a television show that develops the team dynamic and then focuses on a specific member of the team.
It is a difficult book to review because both halves of the book have different strengths and weaknesses. The first half seems almost non-fiction, and I really liked the story of this guy trying to figure out why his love life is so fucked up. I think that deserved more attention. Like this was the bizarro Flight of the Navigator for adults waiting to happen.
Then shit gets kinky. Really kinky. I can see how PC hounds might get a little bent out of shape by some of the shit contained therein, but it didn’t bother me.
If you’re looking for something quick and fun, I’d check it out. I’d go 3.5 stars, but I’m rounding up because some of the reviewers seemed a bit rough on this title.
September 5, 2015
For me this was a horrible book and I am a great reader and fan of most all written work. I believe it starts out okay as a potential time machine/science fiction search for a former girl friend but it turns into something very odd and strange by the end. Much use of the f word that is totally unnecessary and by the end of book it has much graphic and gory sexual references. I found it extremely distasteful. In fact, if the rating above were possible I would rate it a zero.
August 29, 2015
I received this book through a First Reads giveaway.
Terrible. It tries so hard to be edgy and funny, but it's painful to read. The main character is obnoxious and uninteresting. As I read this book, I tried to think of something positive, anything that I may have liked about it. I think I may have smiled once.
The second half of the book turns into a weird sexual misadventure, completely ignoring the main plot and not even attempting coherency. If it was trying to be funny/shocking, it failed. If it was trying to be sexy, it managed to make every sex scene absolutely disgusting. Yikes.
Terrible. It tries so hard to be edgy and funny, but it's painful to read. The main character is obnoxious and uninteresting. As I read this book, I tried to think of something positive, anything that I may have liked about it. I think I may have smiled once.
The second half of the book turns into a weird sexual misadventure, completely ignoring the main plot and not even attempting coherency. If it was trying to be funny/shocking, it failed. If it was trying to be sexy, it managed to make every sex scene absolutely disgusting. Yikes.
August 19, 2015
I did not care for this book. The main character, Vincent, is an alcoholic and cannot have a successful relationship with a woman. He finds an alien, Globby, on the beach and Globby trys to help Vincent fix his life. This was so far fetched that it was not interesting. I could not relate to anything in this story. Maybe you will have better luck.
November 8, 2018
My first exposure to GLOBSTER TIME MACHINE was hearing author Jon Meyers do a reading from it several years back. That reading stuck with me, it was so goofy and genuinely funny. It was high time to read it in its entirety and GLOBSTER TIME MACHINE does not disappoint.
This ticks up the weird factor from Meyers PINK PLANET. GLOBSTER TIME MACHINE takes place in a fantastic world with fantastic creatures. There is a lot of weirdness here but its all laced together with a storyline. The storyline, however, is very loose. It heads in one direction and almost absentmindedly switches to another. Everything congeals at the end and all loose ends get tied up, albeit a bit haphazzardly.
My initial reaction at the end of GLOBSTER TIME MACHINE is that its the "Scenes From An Italian Resturant" of bizarro fiction. Two different stories stitched together as one. One not having much to do with the other save for some crafty orchestration. The abrupt ending and conclusion as an afterthoight kind of knocked this from a foir starvto a three star effort. Its still a fun and carefree read for when you just need something lighthearted to read.
This ticks up the weird factor from Meyers PINK PLANET. GLOBSTER TIME MACHINE takes place in a fantastic world with fantastic creatures. There is a lot of weirdness here but its all laced together with a storyline. The storyline, however, is very loose. It heads in one direction and almost absentmindedly switches to another. Everything congeals at the end and all loose ends get tied up, albeit a bit haphazzardly.
My initial reaction at the end of GLOBSTER TIME MACHINE is that its the "Scenes From An Italian Resturant" of bizarro fiction. Two different stories stitched together as one. One not having much to do with the other save for some crafty orchestration. The abrupt ending and conclusion as an afterthoight kind of knocked this from a foir starvto a three star effort. Its still a fun and carefree read for when you just need something lighthearted to read.
June 29, 2019
Like Pink Planet Myers opens the bizarro gates and lets a little Sci-Fi in the mix. A discovery of a blob of something turns out to be a time machine. What luck for the obnoxious main character that can’t figure out why his relationships keeps falling down.
I don’t like the different character hop, Loki’s narrative. I though that made the story a bit blah!
If your looking for some outrageous science fiction then give this book a ride. And maybe you’ll get a few relationship pointers... more of the don’ts then the do.
I don’t like the different character hop, Loki’s narrative. I though that made the story a bit blah!
If your looking for some outrageous science fiction then give this book a ride. And maybe you’ll get a few relationship pointers... more of the don’ts then the do.
October 12, 2015
I was really enjoying the story until it went in a completely different direction. I kept reading thinking it'll go back to where it was heading but it didn't. The story was alright but I would have liked it more if it followed the storyline it started with. The writing was good and easy to read, it wouldn't put me off this author in the slightest :)
February 22, 2016
I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways .
I thought the beginning was alright but once I read chapter 7 things got weird. Also, the twisted sex scenes later in the book just didn't seem to go with the beginning of the book. Very peculiar read.
I thought the beginning was alright but once I read chapter 7 things got weird. Also, the twisted sex scenes later in the book just didn't seem to go with the beginning of the book. Very peculiar read.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews