What do you think?
Rate this book
Vespertine
Can a priest and a rock star obey love's call?
Seventeen years ago, Jasper Hendricks and Nicholas Blumfeld's childhood friendship turned into a secret, blissful love affair. They spent several idyllic months together until Jasper's calling to the Catholic priesthood became impossible to ignore. Left floundering, Nicky followed his own trajectory into rock stardom, but he never stopped looking back.
Today, Jasper pushes boundaries as an out, gay priest, working hard to help vulnerable LGBTQ youth. He's determined to bring change to the church and the world. Respected, admired, and settled in his skin, Jasper has long ignored his loneliness.
As Nico Blue, guitarist and songwriter for the band Vespertine, Nicky owns the hearts of millions. He and his bandmates have toured the world, lighting their fans on fire with their music. Numbed by drugs and fueled by simmering anger, Nicky feels completely alone. When Vespertine is forced to get sober, Nicky returns home to where it all started.
Jasper and Nicky's careers have ruled their lives since they parted as teens. When they come face to face again, they must choose between the past's lingering ghosts or the promise of a new future.
Seventeen years ago, Jasper Hendricks and Nicholas Blumfeld's childhood friendship turned into a secret, blissful love affair. They spent several idyllic months together until Jasper's calling to the Catholic priesthood became impossible to ignore. Left floundering, Nicky followed his own trajectory into rock stardom, but he never stopped looking back.
Today, Jasper pushes boundaries as an out, gay priest, working hard to help vulnerable LGBTQ youth. He's determined to bring change to the church and the world. Respected, admired, and settled in his skin, Jasper has long ignored his loneliness.
As Nico Blue, guitarist and songwriter for the band Vespertine, Nicky owns the hearts of millions. He and his bandmates have toured the world, lighting their fans on fire with their music. Numbed by drugs and fueled by simmering anger, Nicky feels completely alone. When Vespertine is forced to get sober, Nicky returns home to where it all started.
Jasper and Nicky's careers have ruled their lives since they parted as teens. When they come face to face again, they must choose between the past's lingering ghosts or the promise of a new future.
420 pages, ebook
First published September 7, 2015
383 people are currently reading
2212 people want to read
About the author
Leta Blake
65 books1,773 followersAuthor of the bestselling book Smoky Mountain Dreams and fan favorites Training Season, Will & Patrick Wake Up Married, and Slow Heat, Leta Blake has been captivating M/M Romance readers for over a decade. Whether writing contemporary romance or fantasy, she puts her psychology background to use creating complex characters and love stories that feel real. At home in the Southern U.S., Leta works hard at achieving balance between her writing and her family life.
If you'd like to be among the first to know about new releases, you can sign up for Leta's newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/bdn32H
If you'd like to be among the first to know about new releases, you can sign up for Leta's newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/bdn32H
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 630 reviews
October 30, 2018
4.5
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kiVOtUp...
I've read quite a few taboo books involving a Priest and normally they might be hot but don't deliver on believability.This one definitely did,it was just beautiful.
Jasper and Nicky grew up together.They were childhood friends which turned into so much more in their teenage years.But then Jasper made a decision that would tear them apart.....
Nicky left the town they grew up in and struggled.
He ended up in the highly successful Rock Band,Vespertine.But as the years went by he ends up jaded.After mindless sexual encounters he finds himself in rehab after a drug addiction.
Jasper felt God's calling from a young age and while he loved Nicky the pull towards religion was stronger.
Nicky returns to his home town after his time in rehab to re group and initially still feels a lot of anger against Jasper.
This is a slow burner and I did struggle in the beginning but the more I read,the more I got absorbed into the story.
It's a story of two men who re connect,start a tentative friendship which turns into much more.
It took me a while to warm to Jasper but when they finally got closer I ended up loving him.
And here's the difference between this subject in books.....I could really,really feel Jasper's inner conflict with his religion and his love for Nicky.
A truly beautiful story.........
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kiVOtUp...
"I always loved you.I can't even pretend I loved God more."
I've read quite a few taboo books involving a Priest and normally they might be hot but don't deliver on believability.This one definitely did,it was just beautiful.
Jasper and Nicky grew up together.They were childhood friends which turned into so much more in their teenage years.But then Jasper made a decision that would tear them apart.....
Nicky left the town they grew up in and struggled.
He ended up in the highly successful Rock Band,Vespertine.But as the years went by he ends up jaded.After mindless sexual encounters he finds himself in rehab after a drug addiction.
Jasper felt God's calling from a young age and while he loved Nicky the pull towards religion was stronger.
Nicky returns to his home town after his time in rehab to re group and initially still feels a lot of anger against Jasper.
This is a slow burner and I did struggle in the beginning but the more I read,the more I got absorbed into the story.
It's a story of two men who re connect,start a tentative friendship which turns into much more.
It took me a while to warm to Jasper but when they finally got closer I ended up loving him.
And here's the difference between this subject in books.....I could really,really feel Jasper's inner conflict with his religion and his love for Nicky.
A truly beautiful story.........
May 8, 2021
1.5 stars
This book was so not what I thought it was going to be. I was a bit hesitant going in because of the religious content, but that ended up being the least of my worries. I found it very predictable and a bit boring at times.
I never clicked with the characters. I liked Jasper in the beginning and I liked what he was doing for all the kids, but there was a time when I felt like he was leading Nicky on and I didn't enjoy that.
I liked Nicky's character even less. Reading about his life as a rock star wasn't something I enjoyed at all. And we were constantly reminded of that throughout the book. All the things he did and the life he led after Jasper left him is not something I can relate to or understand. At least not the way it was described here. There was too much teenage angst and drama for me to find it believable.
Music industry is one my least favourite subjects to read about and I've never seen it described in such a bad way as in this book. It made me wonder why anyone in their right mind would be involved in something like that. Plus I didn't really find it entirely realistic.
I have to mention the cat scene. Even after finishing the book I don't get what the point of it was. Was it supposed to be funny or cute? Because it wasn't. Just another, rather ridiculous, plot device to bring Nicky and Jasper in close proximity. And this story was full of those. So many things that happened between them felt too convenient.
I can't say I enjoyed the relationship development, either. There were some heartfelt moments between them, but overall it didn't work for me. Especially the intimate scenes. The way they were written made me cringe. If I thought the love of my life was dead, and then he appeared in front of me, I don't think that "get on your hands and knees" would be one of the first things to say to him. 🙄
What ultimately ruined the book for me was the writing style. In most cases it wasn't the things that happen in the book that I disliked, but the way they were written. Dialogues included. This was my first Leta Blake book. I've read one book by Indra Vaughn before and didn't like it. Needless to say, I won't be picking up anything by these authors again.
This book was so not what I thought it was going to be. I was a bit hesitant going in because of the religious content, but that ended up being the least of my worries. I found it very predictable and a bit boring at times.
I never clicked with the characters. I liked Jasper in the beginning and I liked what he was doing for all the kids, but there was a time when I felt like he was leading Nicky on and I didn't enjoy that.
I liked Nicky's character even less. Reading about his life as a rock star wasn't something I enjoyed at all. And we were constantly reminded of that throughout the book. All the things he did and the life he led after Jasper left him is not something I can relate to or understand. At least not the way it was described here. There was too much teenage angst and drama for me to find it believable.
Music industry is one my least favourite subjects to read about and I've never seen it described in such a bad way as in this book. It made me wonder why anyone in their right mind would be involved in something like that. Plus I didn't really find it entirely realistic.
I have to mention the cat scene. Even after finishing the book I don't get what the point of it was. Was it supposed to be funny or cute? Because it wasn't. Just another, rather ridiculous, plot device to bring Nicky and Jasper in close proximity. And this story was full of those. So many things that happened between them felt too convenient.
I can't say I enjoyed the relationship development, either. There were some heartfelt moments between them, but overall it didn't work for me. Especially the intimate scenes. The way they were written made me cringe. If I thought the love of my life was dead, and then he appeared in front of me, I don't think that "get on your hands and knees" would be one of the first things to say to him. 🙄
What ultimately ruined the book for me was the writing style. In most cases it wasn't the things that happen in the book that I disliked, but the way they were written. Dialogues included. This was my first Leta Blake book. I've read one book by Indra Vaughn before and didn't like it. Needless to say, I won't be picking up anything by these authors again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 5, 2021
I don't have much to say about Vespertine that hasn't been said many times before by all of my friends. I've had this book on my to-read list for ages, so I'm thrilled that I finally made time for the audiobook.
What a book! Angst, addiction, mother-f-ing PRIESTHOOD, longing, loss... whew, this one packs a punch. I really enjoyed listening to this story, and I fully understand all of the hype. However, for me, it just missed a 5-star rating because the narrator's voice for Jasper was a bit... elderly sounding. *shrugs* I didn't really enjoy it, and it took me out of the moment, even though the rest of the narration was fantastic. I also thought the story was a little slow going, which made it took me awhile to get through. However, once I was in it, I was fully committed.
A very emotional, powerful story that is well worth all the praise. These authors did a fantastic job.
goodreads|instagram|twitter|blog
September 22, 2015
Salacious premise that delivers without falling apart.
First love, a pivotal moment that remains emblazoned in the mind. Some memories are sweet, some hurt, but for everyone that's had it run through their fingers and slide away with youth, it also carries a bittersweetness.
Nico Blue is a rock god. A star. A mess. Lost in his own persona, he's dying. A harsh wake-up call brings him back home to recover, to regain himself. To find what he lost with time.
Jasper, a devout man of the cloth who truly believes in his calling, his service, his mission. He uses his faith to serve both his community and disenfranchised youths in the church run LGBTQ foster home. He never lied or disowned his inclinations, but he did follow another path--abstinence.
The expressions, explanations of liturgy and procedure are well done. There is no scoffing at religion. Jasper believes and the story treats it appropriately, with reverence. And I have to say, that was important to me as I was reading the story. It's easy to set up strawmen and knock them down, but religion isn't the easy out here.
Straight off, the initial clash between Nicky and Jasper is spectacle. Nicky's out of control and it is embarrassingly obvious--Nicky is doing confession all wrong. It's about ones' own failings not accusations. But, Jasper is a patient man who struggles and wants to help his childhood friend, sweetheart to get beyond the pain and heartache, to find a good place again. So herein starts a tentative dance. They push and pull, but both respect the boundaries set.
Jasper is unfair. Nicky's been upfront and honest about his feeling for Jasper and Jazz is taking liberties while keeping him arm's distance as he experiences a true crisis of faith. Things shift in the liminal spaces. And that's where Jasper and Nicky find each other again. Zeitgeist.
While there isn't suicide ideation, there are definite shadows that linger and move forwards and backwards during the story. Pain needs an outlet; there's a lot of it here. This story is an UST lovers' dream, but when it breaks loose--it rolls through like a tidal wave.
Midway, I couldn't see how this story could end without it falling apart. Physical love and the Catholic priesthood are a paradox; they can't exist simultaneously. Choices must be made. Actually, there's one loophole to that--One.
Favorite quote:
GUEST REVIEW for:
First love, a pivotal moment that remains emblazoned in the mind. Some memories are sweet, some hurt, but for everyone that's had it run through their fingers and slide away with youth, it also carries a bittersweetness.
Nico Blue is a rock god. A star. A mess. Lost in his own persona, he's dying. A harsh wake-up call brings him back home to recover, to regain himself. To find what he lost with time.
Jasper, a devout man of the cloth who truly believes in his calling, his service, his mission. He uses his faith to serve both his community and disenfranchised youths in the church run LGBTQ foster home. He never lied or disowned his inclinations, but he did follow another path--abstinence.
The expressions, explanations of liturgy and procedure are well done. There is no scoffing at religion. Jasper believes and the story treats it appropriately, with reverence. And I have to say, that was important to me as I was reading the story. It's easy to set up strawmen and knock them down, but religion isn't the easy out here.
Straight off, the initial clash between Nicky and Jasper is spectacle. Nicky's out of control and it is embarrassingly obvious--Nicky is doing confession all wrong. It's about ones' own failings not accusations. But, Jasper is a patient man who struggles and wants to help his childhood friend, sweetheart to get beyond the pain and heartache, to find a good place again. So herein starts a tentative dance. They push and pull, but both respect the boundaries set.
Jasper is unfair. Nicky's been upfront and honest about his feeling for Jasper and Jazz is taking liberties while keeping him arm's distance as he experiences a true crisis of faith. Things shift in the liminal spaces. And that's where Jasper and Nicky find each other again. Zeitgeist.
While there isn't suicide ideation, there are definite shadows that linger and move forwards and backwards during the story. Pain needs an outlet; there's a lot of it here. This story is an UST lovers' dream, but when it breaks loose--it rolls through like a tidal wave.
Midway, I couldn't see how this story could end without it falling apart. Physical love and the Catholic priesthood are a paradox; they can't exist simultaneously. Choices must be made. Actually, there's one loophole to that--One.
Favorite quote:
With his first words, “Hey, my name’s Jasper,” he’d somehow grabbed hold of Nicky’s hands and pulled him out of the cage he’d been in his whole life. He’d made him a real boy.
GUEST REVIEW for:
December 21, 2018
5 ++ stars!! One of the best second chance romances I've ever read.
September 25, 2015
Normally I shy away from stories involving religion… but I love Indra Vaughn’s writing style and ever since I’ve heard she was writing a book in collaboration with Leta Blake I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it.
What can I say without giving away too much? I fucking loved this book, I loved Leta & Indra’s writing style, how they created these two awesome guys. I absolutely adored Jazz and Nicky… especially Nicky, the broken, lost boy.
The effect of the heroin he’d shot up in the hotel dropped off hard and fast. In the murky space he drowned in, Nicky didn’t feel like Nico Blue, guitarist and chief songwriter for the still wildly popular band Vespertine. He was Nicholas Blumfeld, adopted son of Miriam and Adrian. Disconnected fuck-up. Broken boy. Always on the outside looking in…
He is aware that his life can’t go on like this. Everything he wants is to leave his ruined life behind, get his shit together and go back home to get a fresh start. I fell for him hard and fast, and I wanted to climb into the story and hug him, and make it all better for him.
“I’m a goddamn junkie and a whore and I’m not even a fucking decent musician anymore. What good has come out of my life after that choice you made on both our behalves, Jazz?” He got closer, up in Jasper’s face. “Tell me, because I want to fucking know.”
Falling for Jazz took me a few chapters longer, he’s struggling badly with his feelings toward Nicky and his calling as a catholic priest. In some way his journey to his true goal of life is longer than Nicky’s. Nicky's return reopens old wounds, only he can shake Jazz out of his complacency and make him stop lying to himself, although it takes Jazz a while to wake up.
“No.” Jasper tilted his face toward the sun. “No, you still don’t get it. I was looking for any possible way to get out of being a priest. I didn’t want this, Nicky. I wanted you.”
“Well, you could’ve fucking had me,” Nicky spit out. “So don’t tell me this shit. Don’t tell me you wanted me over God because that’s bullshit. You could have motherfucking had me.”
“Nicky—” Jazz reached out but didn’t touch, his hand falling to the grass between them. “It could never be a competition. Do you understand? God is…God.”
Nicky and Jazz... they both are so vulnerable and conflicted. Hurt, angst, hopefulness, their infinite love for each other and the moral dilemma Jazz is suffering kept me glued to the pages.
Am I being tempted, Father? Are you testing me? Should I turn away from him and look for the true path You have laid out for me?
There are so many things I loved about this story:
Nicky’s fox & badger tatts... and Jazz exploring them. :)
All those wonderful supporting characters: Nicky’s parents, his band mate Ramona, Jazz’s mentor and fatherly friend Thomas, the kids from Blue Oasis, especially Lizzie and Lucas. They all are just as lovable as the main couple.
The meaning behind the name of the LGBTQ center…. and…
Nicky’s love for music. He always seems to breathe easier with music around him.
Loved Nicky playing U2’s With or Without you with Lizzie.
His fingers moved over the fretboard effortlessly and he let a movie play in his mind. Green-hazel eyes that shifted color in sunlight and golden-brown hair that fell a little too thick and definitely too long for a priest. Full, almost heart-shaped lips and golden lashes against strong cheekbones. A sunset glowed behind Jazz through Nicky’s attic bedroom windows, as, with desperation in his gaze, he forced a wound into both their hearts. Yearning became a thing with a rhythm and a heartbeat, and the song grew into the past made manifest. The sound of shifting bodies stilled and Nicky’s voice trembled as he sang on. His fingers never failed, though, and the broken heart he’d never recovered from bled through his voice and hands.
Vespertine is a fantastic, challenging read, the romance is emotional and passionate. The pacing is excellent, the dialogue authentic and Indra and Leta’s writing style is warm and smooth, it’s like painting pictures with words. Marvelously done!
I loved everything about this story, from the interesting plot to the amazing characters. I really tried to read the story slowly, leisurely, over a few days, to savor every word… and failed. Once started I couldn't put the book down anymore.
Are you wondering what a fox & badger tattoo has to do with a fucked up rock star and a priest? Or are you wondering if those two will be getting their HEA? Yes? What are you waiting for, then?
Highly recommended!
June 6, 2019
It was time for another re-read....which I absolutely loved, of course, :P 6/6/19
This book was a very nice surprise...Thanks, Elsbeth for giving me the courage to read this one ;)
I was a bit worried about the religious aspect...but turned out I shouldn't have been.
Sure there is religion in this one...it's about a priest after all...but that's not all that it's about.
So...Nicky and Jazz (badger and fox) have been best friends forever. Until everything changes when they are 17. They both have feelings for one another and one kiss turns to a whole lot more ;)
Nicky is really happy with Jazz. You see his mom was an addict who threw him in the garbage as a baby. He has very sweet adoptive parents, but he struggles with attachment disorder, which makes it hard for him to connect emotionally...except for Jazz. He feels totally connected to Jazz.
But Jazz has his own struggles. He feels a calling for God and the church, where he is happiest. So after an incident happens and Jazz has a talk with his mom..he decides priesthood is what he really wants. And everybody knows ...with priesthood comes celibacy. So he tells Nicky and pretty much destroys him in the process. He's not aware of this fact, he doesn't really know how deep he's hurting Nicky. He just knows deep in his heart that he wants to be a priest and serve God.
Now Nicky was already on a little path of destruction, smoking pot and hanging out with somebody who doesn't have his best interest in mind. So when Jazz breaks his heart into a million pieces...choosing God over him..he leaves town.
Now Nicky is guitarist/songwriter of the world-famous band Vespertine. He's also a drug addict and a big slut.
After almost overdosing, he ends up in rehab and goes home to his mom and dad, to try to stay clean and start over. But this also means facing Father Jason (Jazz). He just can't forgive or forget, but he also can't stop loving him. Jazz, even though he's now father Jason, still owns his heart.
Jazz has a hard time too, seeing Nicky again, and he blames himself for never knowing how much he hurt Nicky.
Jazz is now an out and celibate gay priest working for an LGTBQ shelter for abandoned youth.
When he starts trying to help Nicky and be a good friend....old feelings resurface. Now he's starting to rethink all the decisions he made in the past.
This book was a slow burn ad it was so sweet and at times heartbreaking to read. I loved Nicky the minute I started reading. Jason...it took some time for me to warm up to him, but once I did...my love for him didn't cool down.
These guys didn't have it easy...especially Nicky. My heart broke for him. But Jason really wanted to do anything to make it better for him.
And for those of you who are wondering. Yes there is some nice steam in this one ;) It does take a while, but it's definitely worth the wait :))
4,5 stars form me
This book was a very nice surprise...Thanks, Elsbeth for giving me the courage to read this one ;)
I was a bit worried about the religious aspect...but turned out I shouldn't have been.
Sure there is religion in this one...it's about a priest after all...but that's not all that it's about.
So...Nicky and Jazz (badger and fox) have been best friends forever. Until everything changes when they are 17. They both have feelings for one another and one kiss turns to a whole lot more ;)
Nicky is really happy with Jazz. You see his mom was an addict who threw him in the garbage as a baby. He has very sweet adoptive parents, but he struggles with attachment disorder, which makes it hard for him to connect emotionally...except for Jazz. He feels totally connected to Jazz.
But Jazz has his own struggles. He feels a calling for God and the church, where he is happiest. So after an incident happens and Jazz has a talk with his mom..he decides priesthood is what he really wants. And everybody knows ...with priesthood comes celibacy. So he tells Nicky and pretty much destroys him in the process. He's not aware of this fact, he doesn't really know how deep he's hurting Nicky. He just knows deep in his heart that he wants to be a priest and serve God.
Now Nicky was already on a little path of destruction, smoking pot and hanging out with somebody who doesn't have his best interest in mind. So when Jazz breaks his heart into a million pieces...choosing God over him..he leaves town.
Now Nicky is guitarist/songwriter of the world-famous band Vespertine. He's also a drug addict and a big slut.
After almost overdosing, he ends up in rehab and goes home to his mom and dad, to try to stay clean and start over. But this also means facing Father Jason (Jazz). He just can't forgive or forget, but he also can't stop loving him. Jazz, even though he's now father Jason, still owns his heart.
Jazz has a hard time too, seeing Nicky again, and he blames himself for never knowing how much he hurt Nicky.
Jazz is now an out and celibate gay priest working for an LGTBQ shelter for abandoned youth.
When he starts trying to help Nicky and be a good friend....old feelings resurface. Now he's starting to rethink all the decisions he made in the past.
This book was a slow burn ad it was so sweet and at times heartbreaking to read. I loved Nicky the minute I started reading. Jason...it took some time for me to warm up to him, but once I did...my love for him didn't cool down.
These guys didn't have it easy...especially Nicky. My heart broke for him. But Jason really wanted to do anything to make it better for him.
And for those of you who are wondering. Yes there is some nice steam in this one ;) It does take a while, but it's definitely worth the wait :))
4,5 stars form me
May 27, 2022
Audiobook - 5+++++ stars
Story - 4.35 stars
I had so much fun with this one. Wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into but it worked out for the better.
Nick and Jazz had the best hot chemistry. I enjoyed their easy conversations and their banter. Loved them together.
The side characters were likable enough others not so much but at least they were tolerable.
Overall, I ended up enjoying it a lot.
Story - 4.35 stars
I had so much fun with this one. Wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into but it worked out for the better.
Nick and Jazz had the best hot chemistry. I enjoyed their easy conversations and their banter. Loved them together.
The side characters were likable enough others not so much but at least they were tolerable.
Overall, I ended up enjoying it a lot.
Read
January 19, 2016So I dithered for ages about saying anything about this book because I simultaneously want to be more active on GR and yet am reluctant to say bad things about stuff. And I’m in this dark and alienated reading place which means I basically don’t like anything.
^^ Me, basically at all times.
Anyway, this book is fine. Fine. It’s probably even quite lovely.
But I noped out of it anyway for reasons that are basically trivial and I’m a dick. I guess I’m just prickly about explorations of faith and queerness: it didn’t help that I’d been thinking about this stuff a lot (cos Xmas) and I’d just read Acts and Omissions, which hit me right in the ... y’know ... the wounded place that still craves belief.
Also can we please stop doing this? M/m, I’m begging you:
“Where was I? Oh yeah Anal sex. Mainly receiving. Miraculously, I’ve been told I’m still negative. I guess I didn’t try hard enough to kill myself, though it seemed like I was making a good go of it at the time. You know, if the measure of despair and self-loathing is anything to go by.”
I just ... can we not have receptive anal sex being the very specific measure by which queers demonstrate their emotional distress?
Sometimes we do it for fun, y’know.
^^ Me, basically at all times.
Anyway, this book is fine. Fine. It’s probably even quite lovely.
But I noped out of it anyway for reasons that are basically trivial and I’m a dick. I guess I’m just prickly about explorations of faith and queerness: it didn’t help that I’d been thinking about this stuff a lot (cos Xmas) and I’d just read Acts and Omissions, which hit me right in the ... y’know ... the wounded place that still craves belief.
Also can we please stop doing this? M/m, I’m begging you:
“Where was I? Oh yeah Anal sex. Mainly receiving. Miraculously, I’ve been told I’m still negative. I guess I didn’t try hard enough to kill myself, though it seemed like I was making a good go of it at the time. You know, if the measure of despair and self-loathing is anything to go by.”
I just ... can we not have receptive anal sex being the very specific measure by which queers demonstrate their emotional distress?
Sometimes we do it for fun, y’know.
September 23, 2016
*****4.5 Stars*****
Vespertine was a fabulous surprise! Not that I was expecting something bad, not at all. It came highly recommended by friends with similar taste in M/M. It’s just that a priest and a rock star? *snort* well, my dirty mind and I were already having sordid, hot and forbidden thoughts.
Vespertine, however, was far from that. Was I disappointed? Hell NO!
Firstly I want to say that this was my first book by Leta Blake and I absolutely loved her writing style. There was something in her writing, a light touch lingering here and there of a dreamlike feeling, something delicate, a quality of simplicity, intensity and beauty, which really captivated me.
The plot went beyond the main characters world and addressed issues that, although lightly approached, carried a mean punch and touched me deeply.
The characters were so real and full of life! And I am not referring only to the MC’s. The support characters were also well developed. I think they added to the story and left a great impression.
In the story we have:
Nicky, the troubled rock star.
Nicky and Jazz grew up together. They friendship fell apart when Jazz chose the priesthood at the age of 17.
Jazz, who later became a priest.
With a soft speak and a natural way to make you feel in peace, Jazz was an admirable character. Someone I wanted to be real, invite to come over to my place and be my friend.
The support characters I liked the most:
•Ramona, a kick ass friend.
•Miriam, Nicky’s Mom. She was so supportive and at the same time so vulnerable. With a ginormous heart she was the support character I felt most related to, perhaps because I am also a Mom. She was very real in my mind with her glossy eyes filled of tears and trembling lips, scared to say too much and make her son go away.
•Lizzie, the little girl trapped in a boy body.
•Dizzy, the cat.
Dear Lord, even Dizzy the cat, was full of personality. A sweet, fat, ginger, murderer, and voyeur cat.
Vespertine is a must read and it is available on Kindle Unlimited ATM.
A big thanks to Judith who gave me the first push to read this with Tooji’s video and another big thank you to Lady J who sent me Chuck Norris on a special mission: read the book or…
Loved it!
July 4, 2016
5 BIG and emotional stars
"My hands bleed
From all the skin I touch
That isn't you."
I loved this story!!! Every word and every single page! It consumed me, it made me ache, it made me dream, it made me fall in love with Nicky and Jazz.
It is the first book that I read involving a catholic priest and I really had some doubts. But the authors did such a good job by writing it so beautifully! I loved the fact that Jazz didn't feel that BIG guilt I expected him to feel and his choices in the end made me love him even more.
I really loved the slow burning!
Nicky loved Jasper since childhood, but Jasper chose to become a priest and broke Nicky's heart.
Being one of the rock band Vespertine members, Nicky lived his life in depravity, sex and a lot of drugs. Now 17 years later, he needed time to heal his drug addiction and got back to his childhood home. Their first encounter was tough and made me wonder what happened 17 years ago, that made Nicky hate Jasper so much. But deep down he was loving him still. Every song he wrote for so many years was about Jazz. It made my heart bleed!
Jasper. Well, at the beginning I was so angry with him because he really didn't know how to approach Nicky and he was denying his feelings and his attraction to Nicky. But they learned to leave the past behind, to deal with their fears and their love grew stronger!
It was such a powerful story! I could feel their fears and their pain. I loved the fact that it surprised me a lot.
"What is it, Father? Am I getting to you? Does it bother you that I still want you?"
"My hands bleed
From all the skin I touch
That isn't you."
I loved this story!!! Every word and every single page! It consumed me, it made me ache, it made me dream, it made me fall in love with Nicky and Jazz.
It is the first book that I read involving a catholic priest and I really had some doubts. But the authors did such a good job by writing it so beautifully! I loved the fact that Jazz didn't feel that BIG guilt I expected him to feel and his choices in the end made me love him even more.
I really loved the slow burning!
Nicky loved Jasper since childhood, but Jasper chose to become a priest and broke Nicky's heart.
Being one of the rock band Vespertine members, Nicky lived his life in depravity, sex and a lot of drugs. Now 17 years later, he needed time to heal his drug addiction and got back to his childhood home. Their first encounter was tough and made me wonder what happened 17 years ago, that made Nicky hate Jasper so much. But deep down he was loving him still. Every song he wrote for so many years was about Jazz. It made my heart bleed!
Jasper. Well, at the beginning I was so angry with him because he really didn't know how to approach Nicky and he was denying his feelings and his attraction to Nicky. But they learned to leave the past behind, to deal with their fears and their love grew stronger!
It was such a powerful story! I could feel their fears and their pain. I loved the fact that it surprised me a lot.
"What is it, Father? Am I getting to you? Does it bother you that I still want you?"
November 1, 2018
** 5+1 stars! **
I loved this book. It's emotional, moving and so hot! I usually do not go for slow burn romance but this was something else. The character building was amazing. This is the first time I read this author's book and I will read more of her works for sure. The writing style is flowing, so easy to read that you have no notion how much time passed you just can't stop reading.
Each of this men faced different battles and demons. The feelings and passion between them were irresistible to me. I was overwhelmed at times by the level of intensity between them. I am not overly religious person but still a believer in something greater than myself and this book was so expertly written in terms of religion and all that entailed that it never got too much or boring, it was compelling to read. Father Jasper or Jazz is an amazing man of great character. I really rooted for him and BO! He was passionate about what he did but also so cute and vulnerable in so many ways at the same time. I could not help but love him.
Nico Blue or Nicky is a difficult man to describe or to feel something for. Ms Blake did a wonderful job on him. The way she helped him transform and spread his wings is frankly amazing and a tad inspiring. The fight with addiction he faced every day is a tough one. The one thing I really didn't like about Nicky was the part where he put a lot of blame for his life and how it turned out on Jasper. He was a bit selfish in the beginning but as the book progressed and as I got to know him better I saw how wonderful and wounded he really was.
The second part of the book was so sweet and sensual I could not stop reading. Jazz and Nicky together are so sexy and adorbs! Some moments brought happy tears! *sigh* Loved them together in and out of bed. They've come a long way from being almost enemies to finally accepting each other and the love they had between them. The novel was interspersed with memories of them together that provided a fuller background and made this book one of the most touching reads of this year for me so far. I enjoyed it from start to finish. I highly recommend it! It's just that good!
I loved this book. It's emotional, moving and so hot! I usually do not go for slow burn romance but this was something else. The character building was amazing. This is the first time I read this author's book and I will read more of her works for sure. The writing style is flowing, so easy to read that you have no notion how much time passed you just can't stop reading.
Each of this men faced different battles and demons. The feelings and passion between them were irresistible to me. I was overwhelmed at times by the level of intensity between them. I am not overly religious person but still a believer in something greater than myself and this book was so expertly written in terms of religion and all that entailed that it never got too much or boring, it was compelling to read. Father Jasper or Jazz is an amazing man of great character. I really rooted for him and BO! He was passionate about what he did but also so cute and vulnerable in so many ways at the same time. I could not help but love him.
Nico Blue or Nicky is a difficult man to describe or to feel something for. Ms Blake did a wonderful job on him. The way she helped him transform and spread his wings is frankly amazing and a tad inspiring. The fight with addiction he faced every day is a tough one. The one thing I really didn't like about Nicky was the part where he put a lot of blame for his life and how it turned out on Jasper. He was a bit selfish in the beginning but as the book progressed and as I got to know him better I saw how wonderful and wounded he really was.
The second part of the book was so sweet and sensual I could not stop reading. Jazz and Nicky together are so sexy and adorbs! Some moments brought happy tears! *sigh* Loved them together in and out of bed. They've come a long way from being almost enemies to finally accepting each other and the love they had between them. The novel was interspersed with memories of them together that provided a fuller background and made this book one of the most touching reads of this year for me so far. I enjoyed it from start to finish. I highly recommend it! It's just that good!
October 26, 2018
Stupid book gave me feelings.
I'll prolly write too many words about said feelings.
Soonish.
I'll prolly write too many words about said feelings.
Soonish.
September 24, 2016
Written September 25, 2015
4.4 Stars - A touching grand lovestory. My love & like
I finished Vespertine a couple of days ago, and just smiled —this was heartbreaking and so sweet— but there isn't any time for review writing (or reading) in my life right now. ...So just short and sweet:
A good read.
I was truly interested in these characters life's, the topic really intrigued (a priest and a rockstar) and I was mostly in full attention and hooked. That said even if I didn't believed a romantic HEA end in the start. A catholic priest in a romance!? I felt simply unbelievable, but it all worked in a pretty nice way. I'm glad and will "keep" this one.
*********************************************
Nico Blue (aka Nicholas Blumfeld) is the guitarist and chief songwriter for a still wildly popular band called Vespertine. Long ago was he a young man sincerely loving his best fried Jazz. Now a drug using unhappy “thirty-four-going-on-sixty” old rockstar. A man still grieving he didn't get the one and only man he really wanted.
Father Jasper Hendricks, once a young boy called Jazz, is still living in the small Maine town. A priest who loves his work, God and his piece of the Catholic Church.
*********************************************
Leta Blake writes books I seems to enjoy every time. This was another interesting and mesmerizing contemporary M/M. Recommended for fans of stories with a slash of angst, trouble to start with but mostly grand 'bigger-than-life' love. Add just enough sweet smex and steam to hold your naughty attention too.
I LIKE - fresh and new romance topics
4.4 Stars - A touching grand lovestory. My love & like
I finished Vespertine a couple of days ago, and just smiled —this was heartbreaking and so sweet— but there isn't any time for review writing (or reading) in my life right now. ...So just short and sweet:
A good read.
I was truly interested in these characters life's, the topic really intrigued (a priest and a rockstar) and I was mostly in full attention and hooked. That said even if I didn't believed a romantic HEA end in the start. A catholic priest in a romance!? I felt simply unbelievable, but it all worked in a pretty nice way. I'm glad and will "keep" this one.
*********************************************
Nico Blue (aka Nicholas Blumfeld) is the guitarist and chief songwriter for a still wildly popular band called Vespertine. Long ago was he a young man sincerely loving his best fried Jazz. Now a drug using unhappy “thirty-four-going-on-sixty” old rockstar. A man still grieving he didn't get the one and only man he really wanted.
Father Jasper Hendricks, once a young boy called Jazz, is still living in the small Maine town. A priest who loves his work, God and his piece of the Catholic Church.
”You’re really into God, Jazz. You know that, right?”
Jasper couldn’t help laughing louder. The sound echoed back in the confessional. “After everything, even knowing where we are right now, you can’t really think of me as a priest, can you?”
“I shouldn’t think of priests the way I think of you.”
*********************************************
Leta Blake writes books I seems to enjoy every time. This was another interesting and mesmerizing contemporary M/M. Recommended for fans of stories with a slash of angst, trouble to start with but mostly grand 'bigger-than-life' love. Add just enough sweet smex and steam to hold your naughty attention too.
I LIKE - fresh and new romance topics
June 13, 2019
4 Fox & Badger Stars
Nicky was a broken boy, a disconnected fuck-up. Depression and attachment disorder had left him feeling out of sync with the others. He had been in a cage in his mind until his best friend, Jazz, grabbed his hands and pulled him out of his cage and made him a real boy. But when they were seventeen, Jazz left for the college to become a celibate priest…
When Jazz had left, that old cage had descended around Nicky again. He’d heard the iron door slam and the lock engage the night Jazz had walked away.
Now seventeen years later they both are in the same town again, Nicky is in a bad situation and struggling and Father Jasper is going to help him but can he really help an angry alien? Isn’t temptation a sin…?!
Told in dual POV, 3rd person, it’s a standalone novel. It’s well-written and slow burn. It’s an emotional angsty read with well-developed characters. Albeit it took a bit long time for me to warm up with Jazz. It’s a friends-to-lovers story, a second chance romance, and a very intense read. Overall, it was an enjoyable read and hope you like it as well!
Nicky was a broken boy, a disconnected fuck-up. Depression and attachment disorder had left him feeling out of sync with the others. He had been in a cage in his mind until his best friend, Jazz, grabbed his hands and pulled him out of his cage and made him a real boy. But when they were seventeen, Jazz left for the college to become a celibate priest…
When Jazz had left, that old cage had descended around Nicky again. He’d heard the iron door slam and the lock engage the night Jazz had walked away.
Now seventeen years later they both are in the same town again, Nicky is in a bad situation and struggling and Father Jasper is going to help him but can he really help an angry alien? Isn’t temptation a sin…?!
Told in dual POV, 3rd person, it’s a standalone novel. It’s well-written and slow burn. It’s an emotional angsty read with well-developed characters. Albeit it took a bit long time for me to warm up with Jazz. It’s a friends-to-lovers story, a second chance romance, and a very intense read. Overall, it was an enjoyable read and hope you like it as well!
December 24, 2023
Sigh... I’m really too blissed out right now to write. But if I don't review within 24 hours of finishing a book, I probably won't at all. So I'll persist with a few words.
If you're a fan of UST, do not pass go but head directly to Vespertine jail. The chemistry between these characters was fierce, and every detail of the story contrived to make their connection even stronger and hotter.
It’s not a perfect book. I'm not going to harp on the details because ultimately I forgave them all, but the characterizations and expository dialogue were sometimes a little challenging. These are big-ticket priorities for me and yet still only cost 1 star. So hopefully that makes it clear how much I fucking loved this book.
If you're a fan of UST, do not pass go but head directly to Vespertine jail. The chemistry between these characters was fierce, and every detail of the story contrived to make their connection even stronger and hotter.
It’s not a perfect book. I'm not going to harp on the details because ultimately I forgave them all, but the characterizations and expository dialogue were sometimes a little challenging. These are big-ticket priorities for me and yet still only cost 1 star. So hopefully that makes it clear how much I fucking loved this book.
May 2, 2021
RTC... Is there a second book, cause I need one. 😭😭
I'm back with my review!! 👐👐
I've already said that I'm not a religious person, in fact I remember being 12 or 13 years old and asking my mama why we didn't go to church every week, (some of my friends did and I just wanted to hang out so I asked) and she told me: "Because your grandma taught us that if we needed to talk to God we don't need to go to a certain place for it, because God is everywhere... Besides your grandma also told us that the priest from the church close to our house had an affair with a woman (of age, he wasn't a pedophile) so we lost faith on that part" 🤣🤣 And that was that.
Growing up and seeing all of the bad stuff that the institution has done and the fact they don't acknowledge it, nor try to change their ways, made me not care about them and being opposite to it. I do believe there is something that people hold on to in difficult times, but I also believe that that has nothing to do with the church. I also don't understand why a priest can't get married, to avoid sin? Well, how about the priest who rape children? Just because they have a title doesn't mean they are good, we are all humans and the forbidden calls to a lot of them and makes them bad. I'm not saying that all of them do, but it happens and maybe a family would have avoided that in some cases, others are just sick. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
So, that's my background and the mindset that I had going into this. I'm not gonna lie and say that reading Jazz pov (the priest) wasn't difficult to me sometimes, it was, specially at the beginning because he used phrases like: "God's will, God brought you here, God intended, I believe in God enough so you don't have to" every time he talked to Nicky, but as a character I always knew he was deeper than that, I knew he was doing it because he had to put up a wall so he used God to do it and to me his inner struggles were interesting and very relatable. He stopped doing that and that's when Nicky started to know him better and I just really like him. He's a really good person who made a mistake in his teenage years and I saw him learn and grew out of it, besides he has that calm vibe going on that I love. He charmed me and I loved reading about him.
Nicky was a struggle at the beginning too, I felt he put too much weight in something that happened when he was young, it felt like an excuse, but he stopped that really quickly and he fought against all the odds to be better, for himself and for his family and then for Jazz. He forgave and he moved on from his past and he grew beautifully into a strong man. He's always going to be an addict but he knows better now.
So what can I say? I really enjoyed this, it was a very complete story, we don't only have the two main characters but also their families, the band and the kids from BO, it was heartwarming and charming. It had his dark moments and it's hard moments but that is life. Underneath it all I always felt the love and the hope, so yeah I want a second book from this guys. 🥰❤
I'm back with my review!! 👐👐
I've already said that I'm not a religious person, in fact I remember being 12 or 13 years old and asking my mama why we didn't go to church every week, (some of my friends did and I just wanted to hang out so I asked) and she told me: "Because your grandma taught us that if we needed to talk to God we don't need to go to a certain place for it, because God is everywhere... Besides your grandma also told us that the priest from the church close to our house had an affair with a woman (of age, he wasn't a pedophile) so we lost faith on that part" 🤣🤣 And that was that.
Growing up and seeing all of the bad stuff that the institution has done and the fact they don't acknowledge it, nor try to change their ways, made me not care about them and being opposite to it. I do believe there is something that people hold on to in difficult times, but I also believe that that has nothing to do with the church. I also don't understand why a priest can't get married, to avoid sin? Well, how about the priest who rape children? Just because they have a title doesn't mean they are good, we are all humans and the forbidden calls to a lot of them and makes them bad. I'm not saying that all of them do, but it happens and maybe a family would have avoided that in some cases, others are just sick. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
So, that's my background and the mindset that I had going into this. I'm not gonna lie and say that reading Jazz pov (the priest) wasn't difficult to me sometimes, it was, specially at the beginning because he used phrases like: "God's will, God brought you here, God intended, I believe in God enough so you don't have to" every time he talked to Nicky, but as a character I always knew he was deeper than that, I knew he was doing it because he had to put up a wall so he used God to do it and to me his inner struggles were interesting and very relatable. He stopped doing that and that's when Nicky started to know him better and I just really like him. He's a really good person who made a mistake in his teenage years and I saw him learn and grew out of it, besides he has that calm vibe going on that I love. He charmed me and I loved reading about him.
Nicky was a struggle at the beginning too, I felt he put too much weight in something that happened when he was young, it felt like an excuse, but he stopped that really quickly and he fought against all the odds to be better, for himself and for his family and then for Jazz. He forgave and he moved on from his past and he grew beautifully into a strong man. He's always going to be an addict but he knows better now.
So what can I say? I really enjoyed this, it was a very complete story, we don't only have the two main characters but also their families, the band and the kids from BO, it was heartwarming and charming. It had his dark moments and it's hard moments but that is life. Underneath it all I always felt the love and the hope, so yeah I want a second book from this guys. 🥰❤
September 6, 2016
4.5 Stars!
Leta Blake is definitely one of my top 5 favorite MM authors. No doubt. I'm late to the game but I've quickly made up for lost time. And now I'm sad to say I've pretty much read everything she's written.
She writes long books - I don't even like long books.
She writes about some heavy topics sometimes - I don't usually like heavy topics.
But there's just something about her writing that is so engaging that none of that other stuff matters. I get sucked in and I don't care how long it is. I don't care what the subject matter is. It's like I've been plopped down right in the middle of the story and I'm experiencing it all happen.
Yes, this one was probably a bit more religious-y then I prefer. But it definitely wasn't too religious-y.
There was a slow build to Jasper and Nicky's relationship. There was bitterness and anger to overcome, old hurts to get past. But you could just feel the connection they shared. The love. It was really great to read about and experience.
So yeah, another winner for me and quite possibly my favorite Leta Blake read. It's a tough call.
Leta Blake is definitely one of my top 5 favorite MM authors. No doubt. I'm late to the game but I've quickly made up for lost time. And now I'm sad to say I've pretty much read everything she's written.
She writes long books - I don't even like long books.
She writes about some heavy topics sometimes - I don't usually like heavy topics.
But there's just something about her writing that is so engaging that none of that other stuff matters. I get sucked in and I don't care how long it is. I don't care what the subject matter is. It's like I've been plopped down right in the middle of the story and I'm experiencing it all happen.
Yes, this one was probably a bit more religious-y then I prefer. But it definitely wasn't too religious-y.
There was a slow build to Jasper and Nicky's relationship. There was bitterness and anger to overcome, old hurts to get past. But you could just feel the connection they shared. The love. It was really great to read about and experience.
So yeah, another winner for me and quite possibly my favorite Leta Blake read. It's a tough call.
![Profile Image for moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1645500038i%2F37448930._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
February 24, 2022
Jasper stared down at him and Nicky's stomach clenched. He nearly hauled Jasper back to the kiss, unwilling to face the pain yet, but Jasper smiled softly. ❝I meant what I said earlier. I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you.❞
Nicky wanted to stay angry. He wanted to stay afraid and hurt, but he couldn't look up at Jasper haloed by the sunlight, beautiful and vulnerable, and he couldn't look into Jasper's awe-filled hazel eyes and want to do anything but love him.
❝Me too,❞ he whispered. ❝No one as beautiful as you.❞
first of all, i'd like to thank julia for recommending me this book bc this was my first priest romance, but definitely won't be my last. 😌
the angst was so real in this one. the first half had so much tension and longing and, although i loved it, i admit there came a point after the halfway mark when i was starting to wonder when exactly Jasper would finally give in to his desires bc i just wanted Nicky to be loved wholeheartedly, it's what he deserves. 🥺 i was leaning towards four stars at first, but i couldn't help but give it a five bc 60% onwards saved the book for me, in terms of where the story went. i was genuinely so happy to .
my favorite part about the second half was their affectionate moments and the way they couldn't stop touching, kissing and just being around each other (especially Jasper bc he was so determined to put this space between them in the beginning that it felt satisfying to see him lose control, basically). it's the way they were bfs when they were teens, separated for 17 years before crossing paths once again and those feelings start to resurface that i was just smiling and feeling giddy throughout their cute moments in this book. 😭 i wish we had more flashback scenes of their relationship in the past, but i loved the few we had gotten!
okay but . majority of the side characters were pretty great here, but i loved the kids/teens at the Blue Oasis, Ramona and Nicky's parents. 🥰
Nicky wanted to stay angry. He wanted to stay afraid and hurt, but he couldn't look up at Jasper haloed by the sunlight, beautiful and vulnerable, and he couldn't look into Jasper's awe-filled hazel eyes and want to do anything but love him.
❝Me too,❞ he whispered. ❝No one as beautiful as you.❞
first of all, i'd like to thank julia for recommending me this book bc this was my first priest romance, but definitely won't be my last. 😌
the angst was so real in this one. the first half had so much tension and longing and, although i loved it, i admit there came a point after the halfway mark when i was starting to wonder when exactly Jasper would finally give in to his desires bc i just wanted Nicky to be loved wholeheartedly, it's what he deserves. 🥺 i was leaning towards four stars at first, but i couldn't help but give it a five bc 60% onwards saved the book for me, in terms of where the story went. i was genuinely so happy to .
my favorite part about the second half was their affectionate moments and the way they couldn't stop touching, kissing and just being around each other (especially Jasper bc he was so determined to put this space between them in the beginning that it felt satisfying to see him lose control, basically). it's the way they were bfs when they were teens, separated for 17 years before crossing paths once again and those feelings start to resurface that i was just smiling and feeling giddy throughout their cute moments in this book. 😭 i wish we had more flashback scenes of their relationship in the past, but i loved the few we had gotten!
okay but . majority of the side characters were pretty great here, but i loved the kids/teens at the Blue Oasis, Ramona and Nicky's parents. 🥰
January 11, 2020
Update January 2020: a million stars for the audiobook! Michael Ferraiuolo made me love it even more the second time around! ❤
*********************************
MY. STATE. OF. MIND. EXACTLY. NOW. What a beautifully written, bittersweet story...
Magic is just the right word. This was one of those books where you wish you would be able to forget what you just read and read it all over again, just to make this experience once more. Just to feel the magic again. Boy, did this book make me feel...
There were moments when I could not stop the tears running down my face, just to find myself smiling at a moment's notice.
Especially Nicky made my heart ache. Poor, broken Nicky...
Driven away from home at an early age when Jasper, his best friend and love of his life, chose to dedicate his life to God and left Nicky behind. Nicky, who always felt music running through his veins left his hometown to become a famous rock star. But of course this life is not just about fame, glamour and being rich. True to form, it is more the life of 'Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll' and after many years, when Nicky hits rock bottom, he is forced into drug withdrawal and resolves on going back home for recovery.
When he meets Jasper - or should I say Father Jazz? - again, all kinds of feelings bubble up to the surface, and anger, longing and -never-completely-forgotten love are only a few of them.
Jazz himself lives a Content (albeit somewhat lonely) life as a catholic priest. So he thinks... Being a gay catholic priest comes across some rather unwanted attention and resistance, but overall he feels accepted and safe in his faith in God and loves his responsibility for the LGBTQ youth center of the church.
Said faith becomes a bit rattled when Nicky literally appears on his doorstep. Jazz is shocked to see him being in such a bad condition and feels compelled to help Nicky recover. This task is easier said than done and Jazz has to fight temptation not to give in to his still existing deep buried feelings for Nicky more than once.
At the end he has to make a decision, before it is too late and he will lose Nicky for good.
Well, I won't tell you how this decision turns out, you have to read it for yourself. But believe me, you won't want to miss out on this book! I'm officially joining the club of those who said in their reviews that they were reluctant at first to read this book because of the religious theme. Yep, me too! Religion itself is a sensitive topic and writing about it can be a hit or miss. In this case it was definitely a hit and it did not bother me. At. All.
Like I said earlier, the story is beautifully written and it goes straight to my absolute favorites shelf. I marked so many passages as if my life would depend on it!!! And overall - underlined with memories of both guys - it felt so real. Nicky's struggle to remain clean was so heart-wrenching that it made my chest hurt and Jazz's effort to give the kids at the youth Center a chance for a better life was treated so comprehensible that both authors definitely earned my respect.
One scene in particular had me in tears and from now on, I could never hear U2's With Or Without You again, without being reminded of this book and that is for sure.
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
*********************************
I'm full of all these big fucking feelings, and, shit, I don't know what to do with them. ~Nicky~
MY. STATE. OF. MIND. EXACTLY. NOW. What a beautifully written, bittersweet story...
Magic is just the right word. This was one of those books where you wish you would be able to forget what you just read and read it all over again, just to make this experience once more. Just to feel the magic again. Boy, did this book make me feel...
There were moments when I could not stop the tears running down my face, just to find myself smiling at a moment's notice.
Especially Nicky made my heart ache. Poor, broken Nicky...
Driven away from home at an early age when Jasper, his best friend and love of his life, chose to dedicate his life to God and left Nicky behind. Nicky, who always felt music running through his veins left his hometown to become a famous rock star. But of course this life is not just about fame, glamour and being rich. True to form, it is more the life of 'Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll' and after many years, when Nicky hits rock bottom, he is forced into drug withdrawal and resolves on going back home for recovery.
When he meets Jasper - or should I say Father Jazz? - again, all kinds of feelings bubble up to the surface, and anger, longing and -never-completely-forgotten love are only a few of them.
Jazz himself lives a Content (albeit somewhat lonely) life as a catholic priest. So he thinks... Being a gay catholic priest comes across some rather unwanted attention and resistance, but overall he feels accepted and safe in his faith in God and loves his responsibility for the LGBTQ youth center of the church.
Said faith becomes a bit rattled when Nicky literally appears on his doorstep. Jazz is shocked to see him being in such a bad condition and feels compelled to help Nicky recover. This task is easier said than done and Jazz has to fight temptation not to give in to his still existing deep buried feelings for Nicky more than once.
At the end he has to make a decision, before it is too late and he will lose Nicky for good.
Well, I won't tell you how this decision turns out, you have to read it for yourself. But believe me, you won't want to miss out on this book! I'm officially joining the club of those who said in their reviews that they were reluctant at first to read this book because of the religious theme. Yep, me too! Religion itself is a sensitive topic and writing about it can be a hit or miss. In this case it was definitely a hit and it did not bother me. At. All.
Like I said earlier, the story is beautifully written and it goes straight to my absolute favorites shelf. I marked so many passages as if my life would depend on it!!! And overall - underlined with memories of both guys - it felt so real. Nicky's struggle to remain clean was so heart-wrenching that it made my chest hurt and Jazz's effort to give the kids at the youth Center a chance for a better life was treated so comprehensible that both authors definitely earned my respect.
One scene in particular had me in tears and from now on, I could never hear U2's With Or Without You again, without being reminded of this book and that is for sure.
Yearning became a thing with a rhythm and a heartbeat, and the song grew into the past made manifest. The sound of shifting bodies stilled and Nicky's voice trembled as he sang on. His fingers never failed, though, and the broken heart he'd never recovered from bled through his voice and hands.
Through the storm, we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live with or without you
~ U2 With Or Without You ~
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
February 8, 2017
ARC of Vespertine provided by the authors in exchange for an honest review. This review has been cross-posted at Reviews by Jessewave
In general, I don't like to read religious themed books. All the guilt and hate (both self-loathing and hate directed at the MC's) just makes my heart hurt. Sometimes, though, I feel compelled to make an exception, when it's an author that I know I like and I am willing to take the chance. I'm so glad I read this book! Vespertine totally blew me away!
This review may get a bit wordier than my normal, just to warn you. As I read Vespertine, I found myself having a lot to say about the characters, especially Jasper, so buckle up folks, this could be a long one.
Father Jasper Hendricks is a deeply religious man. He’s always found a lot of comfort in his beliefs and the rituals of Catholicism. Growing up gay and Catholic was undoubtedly difficult for him, but he still managed to find peace. Jasper and Nicholas Blumfeld were best friends from the moment they met, and the summer they were both seventeen, they became much more. Two boys in love and finding their way.
Jasper was conflicted, though. He felt a calling to go into the priesthood. And due to some outside influence, he decided to pursue that path, leaving Nicky behind. Seventeen years later, Jasper has a congregation of his own. He’s out as a gay man, but as a man of the cloth, he is celibate. He is very unconventional. Very modern in his thinking. And he is able to reconcile his faith with his orientation (humans are quite adept at compartmentalization when they want to be).
In spite of the good Jasper does, he still finds himself at odds with the church due to their stance on homosexuality. He is tolerated only so long as he does not rock the boat too much. He managed to get approval to open a LGBTQ group home for kids in the foster system and he runs it his way, for the most part. But now, the Archbishop is trying to use it to control Jasper, under the threat of losing the support of the church for the center. It’s despicable, really.
And now that Nicky is back, Jasper’s conflicts are back in spades. He’s now questioning the path he chose. Honestly, I think the only reason he has been able to stay a priest is because Nicky wasn't around and he didn't give himself the opportunity to let someone else under his skin.
Nicholas Blumfeld is one messed up man. He was found when he was a few days old, after being left for dead in a dumpster by his drug addicted mother. That experience left him with attachment disorder and he always had trouble bonding with people – except for Jazz. Nicky has always felt as if he was on the outside. And to make matters worse, so many people treat him like he's not good enough. Always judging. Everyone except his parents and Jazz wrote him off as “trouble”. Nicky and Jazz were inseparable, growing up. They were best friends, always together and they made each other happy.
As an adult, Nicky is a burnt out, drug addicted musician. Ever since Jazz left him to join the priesthood when they were teenagers, Nicky has done his best to self-destruct. Where once, his music soothed his soul and gave him life, now he just sees it all as a burden. After coming out of rehab, Nicky went home to Little Heights, Maine to stay with his parents while he got his footing again. Intending to build a bridge, and in spite of the fact that he has never believed in god, Nicky went to confession when he knew he would find Jazz. But he hadn't let go of his anger or his hurt and he kind of made a mess of things.
Well, Nicky is definitely angry and more than a little broken. And he has many doubts as to if he will be able to fix himself. Nicky wants to be a good man, but he’s afraid he doesn’t have it in him. He’s made so many bad decisions, and some of them nearly killed him, he’s scared. But the truth is, he is a good man who has not always had the support system he needed in order to cope with the pressure of being in the limelight. And because of his many emotional issues growing up, he was poised to self-destruct before he was even out of the gate. When he shows the truth of his heart, though, he is beautiful. He wants to make the world a better place. And reconnecting with Jazz, even platonically, was so good for them both.
Making his way through his anger and deciding to accept help from Jazz reignited something long dormant within them both. Having their foundation of lifelong friendship and respect helps them both find their way. And though I would agree that their belief systems are pretty incompatible, I’d also say that it really depends on the people involved. Jazz and Nicky have always had a connection. Jazz sees his god in that connection. Nicky sees only Jazz. And what they have is just so beautiful; I want to believe they can make it. And I do.
When Nicky is with Jazz, he feels whole. He feels strong. Jazz is his center, his beacon. Through all the heartache and anger, there is still so much love between them, it’s palpable. It’s always been Jazz and it will always be Jazz that Nicky would choose.
I highly recommend Vespertine.
In general, I don't like to read religious themed books. All the guilt and hate (both self-loathing and hate directed at the MC's) just makes my heart hurt. Sometimes, though, I feel compelled to make an exception, when it's an author that I know I like and I am willing to take the chance. I'm so glad I read this book! Vespertine totally blew me away!
This review may get a bit wordier than my normal, just to warn you. As I read Vespertine, I found myself having a lot to say about the characters, especially Jasper, so buckle up folks, this could be a long one.
Father Jasper Hendricks is a deeply religious man. He’s always found a lot of comfort in his beliefs and the rituals of Catholicism. Growing up gay and Catholic was undoubtedly difficult for him, but he still managed to find peace. Jasper and Nicholas Blumfeld were best friends from the moment they met, and the summer they were both seventeen, they became much more. Two boys in love and finding their way.
Jasper was conflicted, though. He felt a calling to go into the priesthood. And due to some outside influence, he decided to pursue that path, leaving Nicky behind. Seventeen years later, Jasper has a congregation of his own. He’s out as a gay man, but as a man of the cloth, he is celibate. He is very unconventional. Very modern in his thinking. And he is able to reconcile his faith with his orientation (humans are quite adept at compartmentalization when they want to be).
In spite of the good Jasper does, he still finds himself at odds with the church due to their stance on homosexuality. He is tolerated only so long as he does not rock the boat too much. He managed to get approval to open a LGBTQ group home for kids in the foster system and he runs it his way, for the most part. But now, the Archbishop is trying to use it to control Jasper, under the threat of losing the support of the church for the center. It’s despicable, really.
And now that Nicky is back, Jasper’s conflicts are back in spades. He’s now questioning the path he chose. Honestly, I think the only reason he has been able to stay a priest is because Nicky wasn't around and he didn't give himself the opportunity to let someone else under his skin.
"I always loved you," he whispered. "I can't even pretend I loved God more, back then. Every minute I spend with you now I wonder if my calling wasn't a coward's path. If I shouldn't have grabbed onto your hands and taken that dive with you."
Nicholas Blumfeld is one messed up man. He was found when he was a few days old, after being left for dead in a dumpster by his drug addicted mother. That experience left him with attachment disorder and he always had trouble bonding with people – except for Jazz. Nicky has always felt as if he was on the outside. And to make matters worse, so many people treat him like he's not good enough. Always judging. Everyone except his parents and Jazz wrote him off as “trouble”. Nicky and Jazz were inseparable, growing up. They were best friends, always together and they made each other happy.
As an adult, Nicky is a burnt out, drug addicted musician. Ever since Jazz left him to join the priesthood when they were teenagers, Nicky has done his best to self-destruct. Where once, his music soothed his soul and gave him life, now he just sees it all as a burden. After coming out of rehab, Nicky went home to Little Heights, Maine to stay with his parents while he got his footing again. Intending to build a bridge, and in spite of the fact that he has never believed in god, Nicky went to confession when he knew he would find Jazz. But he hadn't let go of his anger or his hurt and he kind of made a mess of things.
Well, Nicky is definitely angry and more than a little broken. And he has many doubts as to if he will be able to fix himself. Nicky wants to be a good man, but he’s afraid he doesn’t have it in him. He’s made so many bad decisions, and some of them nearly killed him, he’s scared. But the truth is, he is a good man who has not always had the support system he needed in order to cope with the pressure of being in the limelight. And because of his many emotional issues growing up, he was poised to self-destruct before he was even out of the gate. When he shows the truth of his heart, though, he is beautiful. He wants to make the world a better place. And reconnecting with Jazz, even platonically, was so good for them both.
Making his way through his anger and deciding to accept help from Jazz reignited something long dormant within them both. Having their foundation of lifelong friendship and respect helps them both find their way. And though I would agree that their belief systems are pretty incompatible, I’d also say that it really depends on the people involved. Jazz and Nicky have always had a connection. Jazz sees his god in that connection. Nicky sees only Jazz. And what they have is just so beautiful; I want to believe they can make it. And I do.
“I’ll always choose you.”
When Nicky is with Jazz, he feels whole. He feels strong. Jazz is his center, his beacon. Through all the heartache and anger, there is still so much love between them, it’s palpable. It’s always been Jazz and it will always be Jazz that Nicky would choose.
I highly recommend Vespertine.
September 14, 2015
Release day review posted at Sinfully... Addicted to All Male Romance
Jasper is the openly gay Catholic priest in his small hometown of Little Heights, Maine. He felt the calling at seventeen and has not wavered from that path, leading the congregation for the past eight years. The church’s official stance is that as long as he is celibate he can be gay and be a priest, although not everyone is happy with him. He loves leading his congregation but his joy is Blue Oasis, the church shelter he runs for LGBT youth.
Nicky aka Nico Blue is the songwriter and guitarist for the rock band Vespertine. I loved Nicky from the moment he hit the page, strung out on heroin, sitting in front of a pile of cocaine, numb and barely functioning. Nicky has known for a long time that his beloved childhood friend turned lover, Jazz, will never come back to him, but even seventeen years later the pain and despair won’t go away.
Fresh out of rehab Nicky returns home to his parents’ house in Maine to continue his recovery and make amends to those people he believes he let down. He knows his time there is limited and he needs to get his life back on track before his management forces the band back into the studio in L.A. His best intentions to make amends with Jazz are immediately derailed when he enters the church confessional with Father Jasper aka Jazz, the only man he ever loved. Jasper is astonished to find out Nicky thinks he never loved him and Jasper vows to change that wrong and support Nicky as a friend.
Nicky’s body is a testament to the love he can’t forget and the man who broke him as a seventeen year old in love. He is not looking to hurt Jasper or ruin the life he has made for himself, but Nicky knows he needs to face up to the reality he has been denying all these years. He also needs to find a place in his new sobriety where the music that has always been a part of him is able to flow again without the anger and the drugs.
As the two reconnect they discover more about the miscommunications, misinformation and parental guidance that led to Jasper’s leaving Nicky for the church so many years ago. Although Jasper has never doubted his beliefs he has sometimes doubted what was behind his decision to serve. It isn’t until Nicky returns that Jasper’s eyes are really opened and he is forced to face the truth behind that doubt. Facing new pressure from the Bishop about the fate of Blue Oasis and the reopening of old wounds and feelings long denied has Jasper rethinking the path he has chosen and Nicky’s place in it.
I have a weakness for both broken boys and second chance stories and I will say that I did read most of this book with tears in my eyes, not just because Nicky has had such a hard time and his pain was so raw, but because of the purity of his love for Jazz. The book is beautifully written and brings out so many emotions. While there is plenty of drama and angst, it was not all what I expected. As Jasper gets to know Nicky again, he is surprisingly rational in much of his decision making with regard to his future path. Watching Nicky and Jazz find their footing around each other and working through their past as the sexual tension builds was delicious. The slow build is necessary as Jasper is serious about his faith and his calling and while his feelings for Nicky resurface quickly, he doesn’t want to hurt Nicky or disrespect his commitment to the church.
In addition to Nicky and Jasper, there are some outstanding secondary characters. Nicky’s adoptive parents are wonderful, caring people who offer unwavering love and support along with Ramona, the bandmate Nicky never really got to know from within his drug induced daze. The kids at Blue Oasis are a light in both Jasper and Nicky’s lives and a source of some lighter moments in the story. While the religious aspect is often front and center as it is a big part of who Jasper is, the book is first and foremost a beautiful story of love and forgiveness and two men finding their way back to the place that makes them happy and whole.
Jasper is the openly gay Catholic priest in his small hometown of Little Heights, Maine. He felt the calling at seventeen and has not wavered from that path, leading the congregation for the past eight years. The church’s official stance is that as long as he is celibate he can be gay and be a priest, although not everyone is happy with him. He loves leading his congregation but his joy is Blue Oasis, the church shelter he runs for LGBT youth.
Nicky aka Nico Blue is the songwriter and guitarist for the rock band Vespertine. I loved Nicky from the moment he hit the page, strung out on heroin, sitting in front of a pile of cocaine, numb and barely functioning. Nicky has known for a long time that his beloved childhood friend turned lover, Jazz, will never come back to him, but even seventeen years later the pain and despair won’t go away.
Fresh out of rehab Nicky returns home to his parents’ house in Maine to continue his recovery and make amends to those people he believes he let down. He knows his time there is limited and he needs to get his life back on track before his management forces the band back into the studio in L.A. His best intentions to make amends with Jazz are immediately derailed when he enters the church confessional with Father Jasper aka Jazz, the only man he ever loved. Jasper is astonished to find out Nicky thinks he never loved him and Jasper vows to change that wrong and support Nicky as a friend.
Nicky’s body is a testament to the love he can’t forget and the man who broke him as a seventeen year old in love. He is not looking to hurt Jasper or ruin the life he has made for himself, but Nicky knows he needs to face up to the reality he has been denying all these years. He also needs to find a place in his new sobriety where the music that has always been a part of him is able to flow again without the anger and the drugs.
As the two reconnect they discover more about the miscommunications, misinformation and parental guidance that led to Jasper’s leaving Nicky for the church so many years ago. Although Jasper has never doubted his beliefs he has sometimes doubted what was behind his decision to serve. It isn’t until Nicky returns that Jasper’s eyes are really opened and he is forced to face the truth behind that doubt. Facing new pressure from the Bishop about the fate of Blue Oasis and the reopening of old wounds and feelings long denied has Jasper rethinking the path he has chosen and Nicky’s place in it.
I have a weakness for both broken boys and second chance stories and I will say that I did read most of this book with tears in my eyes, not just because Nicky has had such a hard time and his pain was so raw, but because of the purity of his love for Jazz. The book is beautifully written and brings out so many emotions. While there is plenty of drama and angst, it was not all what I expected. As Jasper gets to know Nicky again, he is surprisingly rational in much of his decision making with regard to his future path. Watching Nicky and Jazz find their footing around each other and working through their past as the sexual tension builds was delicious. The slow build is necessary as Jasper is serious about his faith and his calling and while his feelings for Nicky resurface quickly, he doesn’t want to hurt Nicky or disrespect his commitment to the church.
In addition to Nicky and Jasper, there are some outstanding secondary characters. Nicky’s adoptive parents are wonderful, caring people who offer unwavering love and support along with Ramona, the bandmate Nicky never really got to know from within his drug induced daze. The kids at Blue Oasis are a light in both Jasper and Nicky’s lives and a source of some lighter moments in the story. While the religious aspect is often front and center as it is a big part of who Jasper is, the book is first and foremost a beautiful story of love and forgiveness and two men finding their way back to the place that makes them happy and whole.
December 24, 2018
Re-read December 2018
Just as good.
------------------------
It took me a while to get into this, but once I did, I really enjoyed it.
Jasper and Nicky were best friends as a child and lovers when they were seventeen. But Jasper felt the calling to become a priest so they couldn’t continue together.
Now Nicky is back in town after seventeen years.
He is now a famous rock star who has hit rock bottom and just came out of rehab for his drug problem. But he has never forgotten about the love of his life, Jazz.
Jasper is fully devoted to being a priest. He never regretted what happened between him and Nicky, but he felt he couldn’t ignore the calling.
Nicky is still angry for Jazz leaving but it’s not long before they are friends again. I loved seeing them becoming close friend once again.
Jasper struggles with his feelings for Nicky and with being a priest, but he knows a love so beautiful cannot be wrong.
There isn’t a lot of angst within the relationship (thank God) and the religious aspect was handled very well.
This book has the slowest of slow burns, but it was definitely worth the wait. Because yes, these guys do get hot and heavy with each other!
Absolutely beautiful.
Just as good.
------------------------
It took me a while to get into this, but once I did, I really enjoyed it.
Jasper and Nicky were best friends as a child and lovers when they were seventeen. But Jasper felt the calling to become a priest so they couldn’t continue together.
Now Nicky is back in town after seventeen years.
He is now a famous rock star who has hit rock bottom and just came out of rehab for his drug problem. But he has never forgotten about the love of his life, Jazz.
Jasper is fully devoted to being a priest. He never regretted what happened between him and Nicky, but he felt he couldn’t ignore the calling.
Nicky is still angry for Jazz leaving but it’s not long before they are friends again. I loved seeing them becoming close friend once again.
Jasper struggles with his feelings for Nicky and with being a priest, but he knows a love so beautiful cannot be wrong.
There isn’t a lot of angst within the relationship (thank God) and the religious aspect was handled very well.
This book has the slowest of slow burns, but it was definitely worth the wait. Because yes, these guys do get hot and heavy with each other!
Absolutely beautiful.
December 1, 2020
Re-read December 1rst 2020
This video reminds me so much of these guys.!!!
You Tube link
Just as amazing as the first time!!!
That scene when Nicky learns about why Jazz made his decision to join the Priesthood, had me baweling like a baby again!!
I love these guys!!
*******************************************
Original review; 2015, November 26th
BR, November 23th with Julie and Marco.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiVOt...
Even after 2 days I can’t even…. I’m just not able to put into words how I felt about this book!! This was such an emotional read. The connection, the love Jasper and Nicky shared felt so strong. It hurt so much!!!
I’m not going to tell what it’s about cause everyone can read the blurb. But I didn’t want this book to end. It was beautiful .
Jasper and Nicky’s story is not one you would usually expect. Yes it’s about religion but it’s not about people outside of the relationship dealing with prejudice and bigotry. It’s more about the religion/beliefs within a man himself. Cause Jasper struggled, man he struggled so much.
I loved Nicky. Nicky the broken man… Still in love with his best friend Jazz after 17 years!! It was heartbreaking to see what had become of his life. Being the writer of the Rock band Vespertine, he was never able to put his feelings for Jazz behind him.
After nearly dying from heavily drug abuse, Nicky comes home to recover and to make a new start. In doing so, he’ll be confronted with Jasper again. Can they makes mends and become friends once more?
I can keep quoting from this book. I loved the Bible passages, I loved the secondary characters; Nicky’s parents, his band mate Ramona, the kids from Blue Oasis and Jasper’s mentor, Father Thomas.
Easily one of the best books I’ve read this year!!!
This video reminds me so much of these guys.!!!
You Tube link
Just as amazing as the first time!!!
That scene when Nicky learns about why Jazz made his decision to join the Priesthood, had me baweling like a baby again!!
I love these guys!!
Goosebumps rose over Jasper's arms. He hadn't felt this alive in a long time. A sweet ache heated his blood and and a warm flush burst over his cheeks. God owned his soul, but Nicky would always have his heart.
*******************************************
Original review; 2015, November 26th
BR, November 23th with Julie and Marco.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiVOt...
Even after 2 days I can’t even…. I’m just not able to put into words how I felt about this book!! This was such an emotional read. The connection, the love Jasper and Nicky shared felt so strong. It hurt so much!!!
I’m not going to tell what it’s about cause everyone can read the blurb. But I didn’t want this book to end. It was beautiful .
Jasper and Nicky’s story is not one you would usually expect. Yes it’s about religion but it’s not about people outside of the relationship dealing with prejudice and bigotry. It’s more about the religion/beliefs within a man himself. Cause Jasper struggled, man he struggled so much.
All these years. Did I fool myself, or is this, like Nicky said, an interlude? Will this longing and pain fade like it did when we were seventeen? Or will I learn to live with it? Did it ever fade?
“I always loved you,” he whispered. “I can’t even pretend I loved God more, back then. Every minute I spend with you now I wonder if my calling wasn’t a coward’s path."
I loved Nicky. Nicky the broken man… Still in love with his best friend Jazz after 17 years!! It was heartbreaking to see what had become of his life. Being the writer of the Rock band Vespertine, he was never able to put his feelings for Jazz behind him.
Nicky wanted to bite him, wanted to pound his fists on his back and scream, because his soul was ripping open and he was going to die here on this island when Jasper pulled away.
After nearly dying from heavily drug abuse, Nicky comes home to recover and to make a new start. In doing so, he’ll be confronted with Jasper again. Can they makes mends and become friends once more?
“I’m a goddamn junkie and a whore and I’m not even a fucking decent musician anymore. What good has come out of my life after that choice you made on both our behalves, Jazz?” He got closer, up in Jasper’s face. “Tell me, because I want to fucking know.”
I can keep quoting from this book. I loved the Bible passages, I loved the secondary characters; Nicky’s parents, his band mate Ramona, the kids from Blue Oasis and Jasper’s mentor, Father Thomas.
God calls to everyone, and some hear him loud and clear- like you. But that doesn’t mean we’ve deciphered his whole message in one go. He keeps calling us, and sometimes he might guide us down an unexpected path.”
Easily one of the best books I’ve read this year!!!
January 7, 2021
Me, an atheist: Why would I want to read a romance about a guy who dumped the love of his life to become a catholic priest?
Me, a romantic: OMG this is the most beautiful love story ever.
❤️❤️❤️
The romantic me is so glad she won this round. This book was just perfect. I love how it was told in present tense while still making us feel all the emotions of the past. I loved Nicky and Jazz. I loved all the secondary characters, especially the teenagers.
This was a slow burn, for obvious reasons, but when it finally happened, it was so worth the wait.
“He lowered himself down on top of Nicky, let himself feel every single bone, every single angle and curve against his own, and then kept staring as he kissed him. The carefully constructed walls he’d built over years and years of abstinence came crashing down.”
Me, a romantic: OMG this is the most beautiful love story ever.
❤️❤️❤️
The romantic me is so glad she won this round. This book was just perfect. I love how it was told in present tense while still making us feel all the emotions of the past. I loved Nicky and Jazz. I loved all the secondary characters, especially the teenagers.
This was a slow burn, for obvious reasons, but when it finally happened, it was so worth the wait.
“He lowered himself down on top of Nicky, let himself feel every single bone, every single angle and curve against his own, and then kept staring as he kissed him. The carefully constructed walls he’d built over years and years of abstinence came crashing down.”
September 16, 2015
First, let me tell you that I am writing this from Urgent Care with an IV suck into my left arm that is delivering me fluids because my ginger ass is severely dehydrated from the amount of tears I shed from this book.
KIDDING. I am kidding… Only about urgent care and the IV but let me tell you, the tears flowed down my face like a plenty while reading this.
When I read the blurb my collar fetish tingled at the mention of a priest, don’t judge me. I’ve read some really hot priests in erotica. Anyway, when I finally opened the book and read the first chapter and just like with another priest who I misjudged in romance, I was sat on my ass fast as I realized this story was going to tear me apart and I geared my inner masochist up for the challenge.
Told in the dual POV (thank you authors so so so much for that) we get to know Father Jasper Hendricks and Nicholas “Nico Blue” Blumfeld where they currently are in their lives. Nicky is fresh from tour and rehab, needing a safe place to be to get better while Jasper is happy leading his parishioners of the Catholic Church and running the LGBTQ center for foster kids but when the one and only love he has ever had, aside from his God steps back into this life, things change.
What I love most about this story is the respect it has for religion. Jasper is a priest, he is a man of faith and he loves his life. Yes, he once loved the boy next store and has never forgot him but he honors his vow made to God. I won’t jump on my soap box here with religion and as an ex-catholic get into the politics of the antiquated beliefs of the church with their priests, but I will say the religion aspect of this romance was done beautifully, respectfully and honestly. To think there are not openly gay priests in the world would be naïve and just listen or read a few things from the current pope to get an idea of where the Catholic Church could be headed. What this book represents in hope for those priests, I hope happens sooner than later.
While the blurb states Jasper is an out and proud priest that is not what you think it to mean when you read those words. He is out and does not hide his sexuality but he is a priest and is celibate. I believe there can be men of the cloth like Jasper. I know that the priest of my church as a teen was different than any priest I knew or have known. He was a modern thinker though he taught us what he should from the bible. He let us be teenagers and have questions that he would answer. He knew about popular shows, music movies and books. We teased him respectfully and it taught us that he was human. That though he was a priest, that he was Father Craig and yet, that he was also a man. That is what Jasper is. He's human and trying to live his life and obey his vow to God. Now I am not a believer in blind faith but I can tell you, had I known more priests like Father Craig or Jasper, I wouldn't have left the Catholic religion when I needed it most.
And while some may not buy the out and proud priest, why can't we hope for that? Why can't we read a wonderful story and instead of raising our first at the improbability of it, nod our heads, say a reverence of Amen! and hope that the day will come.
Anyway. *jumps off soap box she hadn’t indeed to be on*
Jasper isn’t just the one that got away and left Nicky for another man. Well he did but that man is God, that other man is faith and how do you fight that? How do you fight for the love you so desperately want and know in your core, it’s not your choice? It’s not like he can walk up and physically fight for the Jasper’s love… like any true form of love, it has to come freely and that is where this story gets oh so wonderfully angsty.
This book did a number on me. It left me with the best feelings you can get from a book, it left me with hope that love can prevail above all obstacles. I mean, isn’t that why we read romance? To read about people falling in love and fighting for that love to be happy? It’s why I read, it’s why I will debate and argue that it’s not a flippant genre, that it’s substantial, it’s relevant and it’s oh do wonderfully powerful because it’s romance. Not in spite of it.
So while this was angsty and made me cry numerous times, there was also humor in the story. Sure, it comes out when you don’t expect it but Jasper and Nicky have a history and it began with a friendship. The boys were friends who shared all their firsts and then were torn apart. I loved the way we got their history, it wasn’t in flashbacks though told from each man and how they remember it. Hindsight is a bitch and sure, we have all done things that now, given what he know and maturity, would do different. But you can’t go back, you can only move forward and make decision based on who you are and where your heart lies.
I won’t go into detail of the story, it’s too beautiful to spoil but I loved it. I adored every wonderfully crafted word, every scene with the boys and every scene with them apart. I am in love with Nicky’s mother and goodness, to think of having to watch your child go through the things he has and not be able to help him. As a parent, that tore my heart inside out but I loved how supportive both she and Nicky’s father were of him. No matter what. Unconditional love is some powerful stuff, of that I can tell you.
Once again, this story was amazing. The writing was gorgeous, flawless and sucks you in so damn fast that you don’t do anything but read this. You don’t work, you forget to eat and the world simply falls away until all that is left is you and the words on the page. That is what a good book does. It transports you. It consumes you and you are IN the story. Yeah, I’m rambling but that’s what I do. This book has me in knots that I don’t want to untie anytime soon.
KIDDING. I am kidding… Only about urgent care and the IV but let me tell you, the tears flowed down my face like a plenty while reading this.
When I read the blurb my collar fetish tingled at the mention of a priest, don’t judge me. I’ve read some really hot priests in erotica. Anyway, when I finally opened the book and read the first chapter and just like with another priest who I misjudged in romance, I was sat on my ass fast as I realized this story was going to tear me apart and I geared my inner masochist up for the challenge.
Told in the dual POV (thank you authors so so so much for that) we get to know Father Jasper Hendricks and Nicholas “Nico Blue” Blumfeld where they currently are in their lives. Nicky is fresh from tour and rehab, needing a safe place to be to get better while Jasper is happy leading his parishioners of the Catholic Church and running the LGBTQ center for foster kids but when the one and only love he has ever had, aside from his God steps back into this life, things change.
God owned his soul, but Nicky would always have his heart. Even if they could be no more than friends, God had reunited them for a reason.
What I love most about this story is the respect it has for religion. Jasper is a priest, he is a man of faith and he loves his life. Yes, he once loved the boy next store and has never forgot him but he honors his vow made to God. I won’t jump on my soap box here with religion and as an ex-catholic get into the politics of the antiquated beliefs of the church with their priests, but I will say the religion aspect of this romance was done beautifully, respectfully and honestly. To think there are not openly gay priests in the world would be naïve and just listen or read a few things from the current pope to get an idea of where the Catholic Church could be headed. What this book represents in hope for those priests, I hope happens sooner than later.
While the blurb states Jasper is an out and proud priest that is not what you think it to mean when you read those words. He is out and does not hide his sexuality but he is a priest and is celibate. I believe there can be men of the cloth like Jasper. I know that the priest of my church as a teen was different than any priest I knew or have known. He was a modern thinker though he taught us what he should from the bible. He let us be teenagers and have questions that he would answer. He knew about popular shows, music movies and books. We teased him respectfully and it taught us that he was human. That though he was a priest, that he was Father Craig and yet, that he was also a man. That is what Jasper is. He's human and trying to live his life and obey his vow to God. Now I am not a believer in blind faith but I can tell you, had I known more priests like Father Craig or Jasper, I wouldn't have left the Catholic religion when I needed it most.
And while some may not buy the out and proud priest, why can't we hope for that? Why can't we read a wonderful story and instead of raising our first at the improbability of it, nod our heads, say a reverence of Amen! and hope that the day will come.
Anyway. *jumps off soap box she hadn’t indeed to be on*
Jasper isn’t just the one that got away and left Nicky for another man. Well he did but that man is God, that other man is faith and how do you fight that? How do you fight for the love you so desperately want and know in your core, it’s not your choice? It’s not like he can walk up and physically fight for the Jasper’s love… like any true form of love, it has to come freely and that is where this story gets oh so wonderfully angsty.
Funny thing: they were always you, and never you, and it never meant a damn thing, but it always motherfucking hurt.
This book did a number on me. It left me with the best feelings you can get from a book, it left me with hope that love can prevail above all obstacles. I mean, isn’t that why we read romance? To read about people falling in love and fighting for that love to be happy? It’s why I read, it’s why I will debate and argue that it’s not a flippant genre, that it’s substantial, it’s relevant and it’s oh do wonderfully powerful because it’s romance. Not in spite of it.
He wanted him to have every beautiful thing in the world without waiting. And he wanted to be there to give it to him.
So while this was angsty and made me cry numerous times, there was also humor in the story. Sure, it comes out when you don’t expect it but Jasper and Nicky have a history and it began with a friendship. The boys were friends who shared all their firsts and then were torn apart. I loved the way we got their history, it wasn’t in flashbacks though told from each man and how they remember it. Hindsight is a bitch and sure, we have all done things that now, given what he know and maturity, would do different. But you can’t go back, you can only move forward and make decision based on who you are and where your heart lies.
“After everything, even knowing where we are right now, you can’t really think of me as a priest, can you?”
“I shouldn’t think of priests the way I think of you.”
I won’t go into detail of the story, it’s too beautiful to spoil but I loved it. I adored every wonderfully crafted word, every scene with the boys and every scene with them apart. I am in love with Nicky’s mother and goodness, to think of having to watch your child go through the things he has and not be able to help him. As a parent, that tore my heart inside out but I loved how supportive both she and Nicky’s father were of him. No matter what. Unconditional love is some powerful stuff, of that I can tell you.
Once again, this story was amazing. The writing was gorgeous, flawless and sucks you in so damn fast that you don’t do anything but read this. You don’t work, you forget to eat and the world simply falls away until all that is left is you and the words on the page. That is what a good book does. It transports you. It consumes you and you are IN the story. Yeah, I’m rambling but that’s what I do. This book has me in knots that I don’t want to untie anytime soon.
August 23, 2015
I adored this book so, so much. It's unique, moving, and sexy. Before I read it, I didn't know that there are a few gay Catholic priests around the world who are out (as long as they are celibate, the church has reluctantly accepted it). So while it may seem like a stretch that Jasper is openly gay, it has actually happened in real life. (Cue that saying about truth being stranger than fiction!) Jasper butts heads regularly with the archbishop and church brass, so it's not as if everything is puppies and rainbows.
But the complications in Jasper's life get a whole lot more intense when his ex-BFF/lover comes back to town to get clean and sober. Rock star Nicky is such a sad panda. My heart ached for this broken boy. Jasper keeps his emotions very tightly contained, whereas Nicky wears his heart on his sleeve -- and all over his body with Jasper-related tattoos to commemorate their lost love.
This story is gorgeously written and packs an emotional wallop. It's such a page turner and hit me with so many feels. It's angsty and gripping, and if you love UST, reunited childhood sweethearts, and oppostites attracting, then this is the book for you. There's a real slow burn here (as there should be since Jasper is a priest with a genuine calling), with so much delicious longing. It's very worth the wait for the HEA. *happy sigh*
But the complications in Jasper's life get a whole lot more intense when his ex-BFF/lover comes back to town to get clean and sober. Rock star Nicky is such a sad panda. My heart ached for this broken boy. Jasper keeps his emotions very tightly contained, whereas Nicky wears his heart on his sleeve -- and all over his body with Jasper-related tattoos to commemorate their lost love.
This story is gorgeously written and packs an emotional wallop. It's such a page turner and hit me with so many feels. It's angsty and gripping, and if you love UST, reunited childhood sweethearts, and oppostites attracting, then this is the book for you. There's a real slow burn here (as there should be since Jasper is a priest with a genuine calling), with so much delicious longing. It's very worth the wait for the HEA. *happy sigh*
August 8, 2016
No sé cuántas personas leen lo que escribo, supongo que no muchas, pero si estás leyendo justo es avisar que mi valoración sobre este libro está muy influenciada por mis opiniones personales, no creo en Dios, mucho menos en una institución como la Iglesia y siento un profundo anticlericalismo.
Dos chicos de una pequeña población del norte de Estados Unidos crecen juntos y se enamoran, pero sus caminos se separan cuando uno de ellos, Jasper, decide tomar los hábitos. A partir de este momento sus vidas toman derroteros totalmente distintos, Jasper se hace sacerdote y dirige un refugio para adolescentes LGBT bajo el amparo de la Iglesia (ja...) y Nicky se convierte en una estrella de rock, sus adicciones provocan que vuelva después de 17 años a su ciudad de origen en busca de la desintoxicación y como resultado una relación distinta con Jasper se empieza a forjar.
Mientras Nicky me parece un buen personaje, al que es fácil tomar cariño, con el que te emocionas al ver cómo lucha contra sus adicciones, cómo intenta establecer vínculos con los demás; Jasper me ha resultado la mayoría del libro cercano a lo despreciable. Cuando creía que podía reconciliarme con él, porque no sé, a Nicky le gusta, vamos a amar a Jasper por él, cuando creía que ya estaba ahí, tienen una conversación en la que si lo hubiera tenido delante probablemente le habría intentado inflingir algún tipo de dolor. En dicha conversación Jasper aclara sus razones para tomar los hábitos, cuando crees que va a disculparse por lo que eso provocó, cuando crees que se va a redimir, ¿pasa esto? Noooooooooooooooo. Lo que hace Jasper es decir: bueno, vale, me equivoqué, pero en fin, no hemos tenido tan mala vida a consecuencia de mis acciones. ¿Perdonaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? por tus acciones os habéis separado y por el dolor que eso provocó el otro tuvo una vida llena de adicciones y una vida sexual verdaderamente horrible!!. Y es que este es el personaje de Jasper a lo largo de todo el libro, es curioso que el sacerdote sea el que guía siempre sus pasos buscando su propio bien o satisfacción. Un Meh muy grande y una patada en el culo para él.
Además, de estas consideraciones personales respecto a los personajes, creo que el libro es realmente flojo en lo relativo al plot. Hay cosas que no tienen sentido ninguno, como el hecho de que una gran estrella del rock viva en un pueblo y nadie se entere; el final es realmente malo, una serie de WTF constantes que no analizo por no destriparlo; está tratada con mucha superficialidad los problemas que puede tener alguien como Jasper para aceptar que ha roto sus votos; el refugio de adolescentes es una especie de paraíso happy happy con niños que han sufrido muchos abusos; y así podría seguir...
¿Lo bueno? Nicky, y algunas escenas entre ellos que son realmente emotivas.
En fin, dos estrellas, aderezadas con esas partes en las que la Iglesia me enseña moralidad (ja...), cada vez que Nicky tiene un problema y la solución de Jasper es que Dios lo quiere así, o Dios te enseñará el camino, o Dios bla bla bla, puñetazo.
PD: Lo siento, Izen xD.
Dos chicos de una pequeña población del norte de Estados Unidos crecen juntos y se enamoran, pero sus caminos se separan cuando uno de ellos, Jasper, decide tomar los hábitos. A partir de este momento sus vidas toman derroteros totalmente distintos, Jasper se hace sacerdote y dirige un refugio para adolescentes LGBT bajo el amparo de la Iglesia (ja...) y Nicky se convierte en una estrella de rock, sus adicciones provocan que vuelva después de 17 años a su ciudad de origen en busca de la desintoxicación y como resultado una relación distinta con Jasper se empieza a forjar.
Mientras Nicky me parece un buen personaje, al que es fácil tomar cariño, con el que te emocionas al ver cómo lucha contra sus adicciones, cómo intenta establecer vínculos con los demás; Jasper me ha resultado la mayoría del libro cercano a lo despreciable. Cuando creía que podía reconciliarme con él, porque no sé, a Nicky le gusta, vamos a amar a Jasper por él, cuando creía que ya estaba ahí, tienen una conversación en la que si lo hubiera tenido delante probablemente le habría intentado inflingir algún tipo de dolor. En dicha conversación Jasper aclara sus razones para tomar los hábitos, cuando crees que va a disculparse por lo que eso provocó, cuando crees que se va a redimir, ¿pasa esto? Noooooooooooooooo. Lo que hace Jasper es decir: bueno, vale, me equivoqué, pero en fin, no hemos tenido tan mala vida a consecuencia de mis acciones. ¿Perdonaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? por tus acciones os habéis separado y por el dolor que eso provocó el otro tuvo una vida llena de adicciones y una vida sexual verdaderamente horrible!!. Y es que este es el personaje de Jasper a lo largo de todo el libro, es curioso que el sacerdote sea el que guía siempre sus pasos buscando su propio bien o satisfacción. Un Meh muy grande y una patada en el culo para él.
Además, de estas consideraciones personales respecto a los personajes, creo que el libro es realmente flojo en lo relativo al plot. Hay cosas que no tienen sentido ninguno, como el hecho de que una gran estrella del rock viva en un pueblo y nadie se entere; el final es realmente malo, una serie de WTF constantes que no analizo por no destriparlo; está tratada con mucha superficialidad los problemas que puede tener alguien como Jasper para aceptar que ha roto sus votos; el refugio de adolescentes es una especie de paraíso happy happy con niños que han sufrido muchos abusos; y así podría seguir...
¿Lo bueno? Nicky, y algunas escenas entre ellos que son realmente emotivas.
En fin, dos estrellas, aderezadas con esas partes en las que la Iglesia me enseña moralidad (ja...), cada vez que Nicky tiene un problema y la solución de Jasper es que Dios lo quiere así, o Dios te enseñará el camino, o Dios bla bla bla, puñetazo.
PD: Lo siento, Izen xD.
May 31, 2021
Sneaking this into the ebook file not the Kindle. The rating is just to get the file recognized.
Now. Ladies. Let's get real here: There's a Catholic priest, a c-a-t, a w-bomb, a selfish shitty narcissist who never calls his mother, and we're not even out of chapter one. I hate all those things with a vibrating Day-Glo orange passion. Hate. Lots.
Nevertheless I read all three chapters included in the sample.
So what I want to know is this: Which one of you has the voodoo dollie of me, and why (since you've clearly taken control of me) aren't you giving me a six-pack and no more ouchies on my joints instead of compelling me to read about people and Limbs of Satan that I abhor? Fess up.
Now. Ladies. Let's get real here: There's a Catholic priest, a c-a-t, a w-bomb, a selfish shitty narcissist who never calls his mother, and we're not even out of chapter one. I hate all those things with a vibrating Day-Glo orange passion. Hate. Lots.
Nevertheless I read all three chapters included in the sample.
So what I want to know is this: Which one of you has the voodoo dollie of me, and why (since you've clearly taken control of me) aren't you giving me a six-pack and no more ouchies on my joints instead of compelling me to read about people and Limbs of Satan that I abhor? Fess up.
September 8, 2018
wow wow wow
Where do I even start a review for this one? So many people have already said it better than I can. Especially since all I can think right now is "wow".
On the surface this is a beautiful, slow-burn, second-chance romance. But it's also so much more. It's conquering our demons, righting past mistakes. Taking a second chance at happiness and holding on with both hands.
I'm not going to tell you about the plot. You can read the blurb and all the other wonderful reviews. I will tell you that these characters and their story is so real that I literally lived their time with them. I hurt with them. I feared with them. I cried and laughed with them.
Don't let any preconceived notions keep you from reading this beautiful love story. I recommend it to every one of my romance loving friends.
A huge thanks to UnusualChild{beppy} for picking this book for me to read this month.
Where do I even start a review for this one? So many people have already said it better than I can. Especially since all I can think right now is "wow".
On the surface this is a beautiful, slow-burn, second-chance romance. But it's also so much more. It's conquering our demons, righting past mistakes. Taking a second chance at happiness and holding on with both hands.
I'm not going to tell you about the plot. You can read the blurb and all the other wonderful reviews. I will tell you that these characters and their story is so real that I literally lived their time with them. I hurt with them. I feared with them. I cried and laughed with them.
Don't let any preconceived notions keep you from reading this beautiful love story. I recommend it to every one of my romance loving friends.
A huge thanks to UnusualChild{beppy} for picking this book for me to read this month.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 630 reviews