What do you think?
Rate this book
Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal
A “courageous, compassionate, and rigorous every-person’s guide” (Christina Bethell, PhD, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health) that shows the link between Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and diseases, and how to cope and heal from these emotional traumas.
Your biography becomes your biology. The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults, but it also affects our physical health, longevity, and overall well-being. Scientists now know on a bio-chemical level exactly how parents’ chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical “fingerprints” on our brains.
When children encounter sudden or chronic adversity, stress hormones cause powerful changes in the body, altering the body’s chemistry. The developing immune system and brain react to this chemical barrage by permanently resetting children’s stress response to “high,” which in turn can have a devastating impact on their mental and physical health as they grow up.
Donna Jackson Nakazawa shares stories from people who have recognized and overcome their adverse experiences, shows why some children are more immune to stress than others, and explains why women are at particular risk. “Groundbreaking” (Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance) in its research, inspiring in its clarity, Childhood Disrupted explains how you can reset your biology—and help your loved ones find ways to heal. “A truly important gift of understanding—illuminates the heartbreaking costs of childhood trauma and like good medicine offers the promising science of healing and prevention” (Jack Kornfield, author of A Path With Heart).
Your biography becomes your biology. The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults, but it also affects our physical health, longevity, and overall well-being. Scientists now know on a bio-chemical level exactly how parents’ chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical “fingerprints” on our brains.
When children encounter sudden or chronic adversity, stress hormones cause powerful changes in the body, altering the body’s chemistry. The developing immune system and brain react to this chemical barrage by permanently resetting children’s stress response to “high,” which in turn can have a devastating impact on their mental and physical health as they grow up.
Donna Jackson Nakazawa shares stories from people who have recognized and overcome their adverse experiences, shows why some children are more immune to stress than others, and explains why women are at particular risk. “Groundbreaking” (Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance) in its research, inspiring in its clarity, Childhood Disrupted explains how you can reset your biology—and help your loved ones find ways to heal. “A truly important gift of understanding—illuminates the heartbreaking costs of childhood trauma and like good medicine offers the promising science of healing and prevention” (Jack Kornfield, author of A Path With Heart).
305 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 7, 2015
About the author
Donna Jackson Nakazawa
13 books258 followersAward-winning journalist and internationally-recognized speaker Donna Jackson Nakazawa began writing at twelve years old, after her father passed away unexpectedly. Recording her thoughts and feelings in a journal helped her to make sense of a world without him. When she came to the last page of her diary, she wrote, “I think I’m going to be a writer.”
Later, in college, she joined the staff of Duke’s literary journal. After graduating, she attended the Radcliffe Publishing Program and found work in the New York magazine world as a science journalist.
She began writing books. To date, she has authored 8 books exploring the connections between emotion, adversity, and well-being. Her mission is to translate complicated science into actionable information for everyday life.
Her bestselling book, Childhood Disrupted, was a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award. Her newest book, The Adverse Childhood Experiences Guided Journal (foreword by Nedra Glover Tawwab), offers targeted writing techniques to help readers recognize the effects of childhood adversity and reset their brain's internal stories for neurobiological resilience, and is based on Donna’s popular narrative writing-to-heal program, Your Healing Narrative.
Donna’s other books include Girls on the Brink: Helping Our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Social Media, named a best book of 2022 by The Washington Post, and The Angel and the Assassin: The Tiny Brain Cell That Changed the Course of Medicine, named a best book of 2020 by Wired.
Her writing has appeared in Wired, The Boston Globe, Stat, and The Washington Post. She has appeared on The Today Show and NPR and is a regular speaker at universities and organizations, including the Child Mind Institute, Harvard Science, UCLA Health, Rutgers, Johns Hopkins, Children’s Hospitals, and the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine. Learn more at donnajacksonnakazawa.com
Later, in college, she joined the staff of Duke’s literary journal. After graduating, she attended the Radcliffe Publishing Program and found work in the New York magazine world as a science journalist.
She began writing books. To date, she has authored 8 books exploring the connections between emotion, adversity, and well-being. Her mission is to translate complicated science into actionable information for everyday life.
Her bestselling book, Childhood Disrupted, was a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award. Her newest book, The Adverse Childhood Experiences Guided Journal (foreword by Nedra Glover Tawwab), offers targeted writing techniques to help readers recognize the effects of childhood adversity and reset their brain's internal stories for neurobiological resilience, and is based on Donna’s popular narrative writing-to-heal program, Your Healing Narrative.
Donna’s other books include Girls on the Brink: Helping Our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Social Media, named a best book of 2022 by The Washington Post, and The Angel and the Assassin: The Tiny Brain Cell That Changed the Course of Medicine, named a best book of 2020 by Wired.
Her writing has appeared in Wired, The Boston Globe, Stat, and The Washington Post. She has appeared on The Today Show and NPR and is a regular speaker at universities and organizations, including the Child Mind Institute, Harvard Science, UCLA Health, Rutgers, Johns Hopkins, Children’s Hospitals, and the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine. Learn more at donnajacksonnakazawa.com
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 338 reviews
January 24, 2016
July 2021 review update:
Who knew this would be my most popular review? Anyway:
It's been a long time since I read this book and I'm afraid to say my memory of the contents is very fuzzy. I get DMs about this book and related recommendations pretty regularly, and if I don't respond, please know that it's because I don't really feel qualified to at this point. It's not a subject I'm actively reading on right now. I do wish everyone struggling with this and related issues all the luck in the world in navigating 'healing,' whatever that means.
I do remember the dread, anxiety, nausea and flashbacks I experienced while reading it. But that's all.
I do want to mention that I read about a year ago a book for therapeutic professionals called Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing that I found very helpful personally. It's not meant for a general readership, but the language was fairly accessible. If, like me, you have tried and failed at meditation and mindfulness repeatedly because spending time in your brain causes flashbacks, you may find this information supportive and affirming.
Take care, all, and be gentle with yourselves.
~~~~~
I saw this book on Saturday when returning another to the library.
I hemmed and hawed. Many of you know what I mean. Do I need another book on childhood trauma? Shouldn't I be over it already? Is this one going to have something to say that I haven't seen before? Can I stand to have people know that this happened to me, will they blame me for still feeling it? Do I want to log it on goodreads? Maybe I should keep it to myself.
I borrowed it (clearly) and read it on Sunday. I know, from experience, what reading books like this is like for me. The longer I dragged it out the longer the reaction would take. So I crammed the whole thing into a couple of hours, skipping the stuff I already knew, and surfing the inevitable flashbacks. You aren't there. You're here. It isn't happening anymore. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
~~~~~
Let's talk about the book:
Part I is about the science of how Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) affect the mind and also the body, based on research about epigenetics, and the very clear and overwhelming statistics linking childhood trauma to seemingly unrelated adult health outcomes, such as cancer, stroke, autoimmune diseases, heart disease, and so on. It's no mystery anymore to say that a childhood of deprivation or abuse can lead to depression, anxiety, addiction or rage; but the evidence of how it leads to disease and early death, too (as the book says, a person who experienced six out of the ten adverse events listed on the ACE inventory will on average lose 20 years of their lifespan), has gained much less traction.
Part II is about different evidence-based ways that people can reduce the damage that has been caused. Practices that can retrain the brain in ways to react to stress, decrease the body's negative reactions to chronic stress hormones. It is much more pat, much less satisfying, and uses far less evidence. But one thing at a time:
Part I, a brief summary:
1. Two thirds of people who take the ACE have a score of at least one. Forty per cent score two or more. 12.5% score 4 or higher. (I scored 4 or 5, as did approximately--if the statistics are to be believed--1/10 of you.)
2. The higher a person's ACE score, the more doctor's appointments they have had in the past year.
3. People with an ACE score of 4 or higher are twice as likely to develop cancer.
4. For each additional point an individual has, their chance of being hospitalized with an autoimmune disorder increases by 20% in any given year.
5. Those with ACE scores of 7 or higher who did not smoke or drink, were not overweight, not diabetic, and did not have high cholesterol, still had a 360% increased risk of heart disease compared to someone with an ACE score of 0.
6. The important thing, it turns out, is not the severity of the events per se, but their unpredictability. A moderate but unpredictable adverse event has worse health consequences than a horrible but predictable one. When you don't know when the stressor will return, your body stays on alert all the time. The stress hormones don't ever go awyay. You live your life in a state of hypervigilance from which there is no reprieve.
7. Adverse events alter the expression of genes.
Worse, these alterations, through the epigene, can become heritable.
8. Kids raised in orphanages have smaller brains than other children. Early adverse circumstances permanently alter the development, size and function of the brain.
9. Besides chronicness and unpredictability, the other important factor is whether or not children are keeping it a secret. If they can't talk about it, they will suffer more.
10. There are genetic differences, too, in sensitivity levels.
~~~~~
Reading these sections of the books was ... how to put it.
Imagine watching a horror movie. Or The Walking Dead.
You know that feeling of "is there going to be a zombie behind this door?" or "when is the next attack coming?" or "don't go in the basement!"
Your heart is pounding. Your shoulders are tense. Your forehead is furrowed. You feel the tension in your jaw, the back of your skull. Your mouth is dry. Your hands are cold. You have a knot in your stomach.
It felt like that. For me, anyway. It felt like that for about ten hours.
When I was reading, when I put the book down, when my daughter and I went to Chapters, when I browsed shelves of sci-fi and philosophy and art books. Heart pounding, dry mouth, cold hands, hard shoulders.
This would have been worth it, if Part II had offered something meaningful.
~~~~~
There were things I learned in the research section that were genuinely new and helpful. Things like:
1. Chronic stress and trauma in childhood will disrupt a person's ability to figure out if a situation is potentially dangerous or a person is potentially unsafe.
2. Chronic stress and trauma in childhood interferes with a person's ability to feel and name their feelings. The end result is that they go from underreactivity to overreactivity, often at a moment's notice; from not feeling anything when they should be, to feeling way too much, on a dime.
Well that explains a lot.
The recovery section, however, was unsatisfying.
It lists a number of well-known and popular, one might even say "trendy," methods:
1. Journaling
2. Art journaling (but only about the traumatic events)
3. Meditation
4. Tai Chi
5. Mindsight: The New Science of Personal TransformationMindsight (Yes, I've read it.)
6. Loving-kindness meditation
7. Forgiveness, someday
8. Yoga and massage
9. Nutrition. (Nutrition! Really! Eat clean to reduce your PTSD!)
10. Relationships
11. Somatic experiencing--I couldn't get through this part
12. Guided imagery
13. Neurofeedback
14. EMDR
Is there anything on this list you haven't seen already on a FaceBook meme? Possibly if you're not on FaceBook. Otherwise, you know everything that's in this section already. And if you're dealing with these issues, chances are good that you have tried most or all of these already, and they haven't worked, and that's why you read the damned book.
The book blurb and a good bit of the book's text talk about "getting back to who you would have been." That's a high promise, and her methods won't meet it. She provides no statistics or evidence on the effectiveness of these methods. Is a complete recovery likely? For how many people? How many won't respond at all? How many will respond partially? How many methods are likely required to have a significant impact on the quality of a person's life? She doesn't say.
So let me say: studies on meditation often include no mention of side effects or negative impacts, but these are known to occur for some people--thought more likely to be those suffering from PTSD, who may have flashbacks while meditating.
I looked up a couple of studies on PTSD and meditation, just for curiosity's sake. In one study, 12% of study participants improved in the control group, and 24% improved in the meditation group. To be sure the meditation significantly increased the beneficial impact, but it still left 76% of study participants with no benefit at all. Seventy-six per cent! How does this add up to a guarantee of "getting back to who you would have been"? No mention was made of whether any of those 76% might have been worse off than when they started. And meditation is one of the best studied of the methods she proposes.
Why only yoga--why not running? Are there no other physical activities that could provide similar benefits? Where's the evidence? Why does drawing only count if the drawing is related to the trauma? What about painting, photography, sewing, quilting, knitting, woodworking? What about religious practices from other traditions besides Buddhism? Etc. Too many questions, too few answers, and the answers provided with far too little evidence.
~~~~~
Here is a tree.
This tree has experienced trauma in its life. You can tell, by the burl on the trunk.
A burl is how a tree responds to certain physical stressors. You can read about the biology if you've a mind to--for now, just imagine what would happen if you tried to return the tree to "what it would have been" without the stress, and removed the burl.
YOU'D KILL THE TREE.
Similarly, for those of us who have had less than loving parents, there is no former us to get back to. There is no me before my mother. She's always been there.
A tree can still be beautiful and impressive with a good number of burls, of course. What's a little deformity between friends. Right?
Meanwhile, I've tried nine of the 14 things on the list above, plus therapy. They've all helped, but I am not who I would have been, I never will be, and I haven't "recovered" if by that you mean that I no longer have the extreme stress responses. I still lost a day to what are essentially flashbacks, from reading this book. Last week, I lost three days when an interpersonal conflict echoed what I'd had with my parents; for three days, my hands shook, my heart beat faster. Three days. I couldn't sleep.
It doesn't go away.
And whoever decided that all feelings dissipate in 90 seconds (a fact that was repeated in this book, but I've read it elsewhere too) has clearly never had a flashback. They don't last for 90 seconds. They can eat up a whole year.
Isn't that the whole point of the first section of the book?--that you can exist in a permanent state of anxiety and hypervigilance that can last pretty well forever?
~~~~~
There's a more significant criticism of Part II:
Human development is a funny thing. It only takes place in the context of some kind of relationship that involves some amount of nurturing. Children who receive no care at all, who are never held, never changed, never talked to, do not learn to talk, or walk, or feed themselves, or us the toilet, or even physically grow as they should, even if they are fed. Thus all childhood abuse that results in an adult who is capable of walking, speaking, self-feeding, and bladder control, didn't consist solely of abuse--there must have been moments, days, weeks, months, of an adult responding to the needs of the child.
That is to say, if the bar for "real abuse" is set at total and unrelenting abuse and neglect, the bar is set so low as to prevent survival, really. Abuse and neglect cannot be understood as the total absence of any care ever.
That's often how it's presented, though, in families like these. How can you be angry about x? How can you be upset about y? Don't you remember that nice thing I did for you once? But the nice thing doesn't cancel out the x, or the y. It's a favourite tactic of adult abusers too, isn't it? OK yes, I punched you in the face last week, and one time I broke your arm, but then I brought you flowers and you know I always take you to that restaurant you like.
It makes it worse for the survivor, those nice things. To bring back the Walking Dead, imagine the gang walking around in Alexandria, the zombies circling the walls, and then the zombies start throwing flowers over the gates. There's no apologies. There's no indication that they remember slaughtering and eating the survivors' loved ones. But there are these occasional gifts, these nice things, the flowers thrown over the wall; and then, later on, the demands that the gates be opened. OK yes, I killed your wife, I ate her, I ate your brother too, but then I gave you flowers. Open the gates! How can you still hold a grudge, after all this time?
The nice things end up standing out in one's memory in an aura of fear, rather than enjoyment. It becomes a mystery that begs an answer, where no answer is.
When a functional and healthy person does something hurtful or wrong, they apologize.
The lack of an apology, particularly coupled with a demand for resumption of the relationship and NO process for amends, means that the person is not safe to be around. "Nice things" notwithstanding.
This is something a child who grows up in an abusive home learns on their own, very slowly, if at all; and it is something that is not discussed in this book.
The most basic, fundamental action of healing--removing the source of hurt from one's life and keeping it as far distant as possible--is not even mentioned. Indeed, in the author's rush to assure readers that she is not one of those authors who blames parents, she goes a fair bit in the other direction, all but assuring readers that once healing is done, once you have miraculously recovered the person you would have been, you can be around your parent and the things they do will no longer hurt.
Imagine giving this advice to an abused spouse. Leave, for a while. Get counselling, meditate, do yoga. Feel better. Then go back to him. From now on, when he punches you in the face, you won't mind. If you do, it's your fault, you're "blaming him."
This is a dangerously irresponsible idea.
~~~~~
I can recommend Part I wholeheartedly to anyone interested in this subject. If you are reading "for a friend," just be aware that the preponderance of bad news and tragic anecdotes may make a difficult read. I found it triggering as hell.
I cannot recommend Part II to anyone, really. If you have never ever heard of meditation used therapeutically and are totally unaware of the health claims for yoga, and you can be satisfied with a couple of paragraphs of anecdotal data, then by all means. Otherwise, no.
Who knew this would be my most popular review? Anyway:
It's been a long time since I read this book and I'm afraid to say my memory of the contents is very fuzzy. I get DMs about this book and related recommendations pretty regularly, and if I don't respond, please know that it's because I don't really feel qualified to at this point. It's not a subject I'm actively reading on right now. I do wish everyone struggling with this and related issues all the luck in the world in navigating 'healing,' whatever that means.
I do remember the dread, anxiety, nausea and flashbacks I experienced while reading it. But that's all.
I do want to mention that I read about a year ago a book for therapeutic professionals called Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing that I found very helpful personally. It's not meant for a general readership, but the language was fairly accessible. If, like me, you have tried and failed at meditation and mindfulness repeatedly because spending time in your brain causes flashbacks, you may find this information supportive and affirming.
Take care, all, and be gentle with yourselves.
~~~~~
I saw this book on Saturday when returning another to the library.
I hemmed and hawed. Many of you know what I mean. Do I need another book on childhood trauma? Shouldn't I be over it already? Is this one going to have something to say that I haven't seen before? Can I stand to have people know that this happened to me, will they blame me for still feeling it? Do I want to log it on goodreads? Maybe I should keep it to myself.
I borrowed it (clearly) and read it on Sunday. I know, from experience, what reading books like this is like for me. The longer I dragged it out the longer the reaction would take. So I crammed the whole thing into a couple of hours, skipping the stuff I already knew, and surfing the inevitable flashbacks. You aren't there. You're here. It isn't happening anymore. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
~~~~~
Let's talk about the book:
Part I is about the science of how Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) affect the mind and also the body, based on research about epigenetics, and the very clear and overwhelming statistics linking childhood trauma to seemingly unrelated adult health outcomes, such as cancer, stroke, autoimmune diseases, heart disease, and so on. It's no mystery anymore to say that a childhood of deprivation or abuse can lead to depression, anxiety, addiction or rage; but the evidence of how it leads to disease and early death, too (as the book says, a person who experienced six out of the ten adverse events listed on the ACE inventory will on average lose 20 years of their lifespan), has gained much less traction.
Part II is about different evidence-based ways that people can reduce the damage that has been caused. Practices that can retrain the brain in ways to react to stress, decrease the body's negative reactions to chronic stress hormones. It is much more pat, much less satisfying, and uses far less evidence. But one thing at a time:
Part I, a brief summary:
1. Two thirds of people who take the ACE have a score of at least one. Forty per cent score two or more. 12.5% score 4 or higher. (I scored 4 or 5, as did approximately--if the statistics are to be believed--1/10 of you.)
2. The higher a person's ACE score, the more doctor's appointments they have had in the past year.
3. People with an ACE score of 4 or higher are twice as likely to develop cancer.
4. For each additional point an individual has, their chance of being hospitalized with an autoimmune disorder increases by 20% in any given year.
5. Those with ACE scores of 7 or higher who did not smoke or drink, were not overweight, not diabetic, and did not have high cholesterol, still had a 360% increased risk of heart disease compared to someone with an ACE score of 0.
6. The important thing, it turns out, is not the severity of the events per se, but their unpredictability. A moderate but unpredictable adverse event has worse health consequences than a horrible but predictable one. When you don't know when the stressor will return, your body stays on alert all the time. The stress hormones don't ever go awyay. You live your life in a state of hypervigilance from which there is no reprieve.
7. Adverse events alter the expression of genes.
Worse, these alterations, through the epigene, can become heritable.
8. Kids raised in orphanages have smaller brains than other children. Early adverse circumstances permanently alter the development, size and function of the brain.
9. Besides chronicness and unpredictability, the other important factor is whether or not children are keeping it a secret. If they can't talk about it, they will suffer more.
10. There are genetic differences, too, in sensitivity levels.
~~~~~
Reading these sections of the books was ... how to put it.
Imagine watching a horror movie. Or The Walking Dead.
You know that feeling of "is there going to be a zombie behind this door?" or "when is the next attack coming?" or "don't go in the basement!"
Your heart is pounding. Your shoulders are tense. Your forehead is furrowed. You feel the tension in your jaw, the back of your skull. Your mouth is dry. Your hands are cold. You have a knot in your stomach.
It felt like that. For me, anyway. It felt like that for about ten hours.
When I was reading, when I put the book down, when my daughter and I went to Chapters, when I browsed shelves of sci-fi and philosophy and art books. Heart pounding, dry mouth, cold hands, hard shoulders.
This would have been worth it, if Part II had offered something meaningful.
~~~~~
There were things I learned in the research section that were genuinely new and helpful. Things like:
1. Chronic stress and trauma in childhood will disrupt a person's ability to figure out if a situation is potentially dangerous or a person is potentially unsafe.
2. Chronic stress and trauma in childhood interferes with a person's ability to feel and name their feelings. The end result is that they go from underreactivity to overreactivity, often at a moment's notice; from not feeling anything when they should be, to feeling way too much, on a dime.
Well that explains a lot.
The recovery section, however, was unsatisfying.
It lists a number of well-known and popular, one might even say "trendy," methods:
1. Journaling
2. Art journaling (but only about the traumatic events)
3. Meditation
4. Tai Chi
5. Mindsight: The New Science of Personal TransformationMindsight (Yes, I've read it.)
6. Loving-kindness meditation
7. Forgiveness, someday
8. Yoga and massage
9. Nutrition. (Nutrition! Really! Eat clean to reduce your PTSD!)
10. Relationships
11. Somatic experiencing--I couldn't get through this part
12. Guided imagery
13. Neurofeedback
14. EMDR
Is there anything on this list you haven't seen already on a FaceBook meme? Possibly if you're not on FaceBook. Otherwise, you know everything that's in this section already. And if you're dealing with these issues, chances are good that you have tried most or all of these already, and they haven't worked, and that's why you read the damned book.
The book blurb and a good bit of the book's text talk about "getting back to who you would have been." That's a high promise, and her methods won't meet it. She provides no statistics or evidence on the effectiveness of these methods. Is a complete recovery likely? For how many people? How many won't respond at all? How many will respond partially? How many methods are likely required to have a significant impact on the quality of a person's life? She doesn't say.
So let me say: studies on meditation often include no mention of side effects or negative impacts, but these are known to occur for some people--thought more likely to be those suffering from PTSD, who may have flashbacks while meditating.
I looked up a couple of studies on PTSD and meditation, just for curiosity's sake. In one study, 12% of study participants improved in the control group, and 24% improved in the meditation group. To be sure the meditation significantly increased the beneficial impact, but it still left 76% of study participants with no benefit at all. Seventy-six per cent! How does this add up to a guarantee of "getting back to who you would have been"? No mention was made of whether any of those 76% might have been worse off than when they started. And meditation is one of the best studied of the methods she proposes.
Why only yoga--why not running? Are there no other physical activities that could provide similar benefits? Where's the evidence? Why does drawing only count if the drawing is related to the trauma? What about painting, photography, sewing, quilting, knitting, woodworking? What about religious practices from other traditions besides Buddhism? Etc. Too many questions, too few answers, and the answers provided with far too little evidence.
~~~~~
Here is a tree.
This tree has experienced trauma in its life. You can tell, by the burl on the trunk.
A burl is how a tree responds to certain physical stressors. You can read about the biology if you've a mind to--for now, just imagine what would happen if you tried to return the tree to "what it would have been" without the stress, and removed the burl.
YOU'D KILL THE TREE.
Similarly, for those of us who have had less than loving parents, there is no former us to get back to. There is no me before my mother. She's always been there.
A tree can still be beautiful and impressive with a good number of burls, of course. What's a little deformity between friends. Right?
Meanwhile, I've tried nine of the 14 things on the list above, plus therapy. They've all helped, but I am not who I would have been, I never will be, and I haven't "recovered" if by that you mean that I no longer have the extreme stress responses. I still lost a day to what are essentially flashbacks, from reading this book. Last week, I lost three days when an interpersonal conflict echoed what I'd had with my parents; for three days, my hands shook, my heart beat faster. Three days. I couldn't sleep.
It doesn't go away.
And whoever decided that all feelings dissipate in 90 seconds (a fact that was repeated in this book, but I've read it elsewhere too) has clearly never had a flashback. They don't last for 90 seconds. They can eat up a whole year.
Isn't that the whole point of the first section of the book?--that you can exist in a permanent state of anxiety and hypervigilance that can last pretty well forever?
~~~~~
There's a more significant criticism of Part II:
Human development is a funny thing. It only takes place in the context of some kind of relationship that involves some amount of nurturing. Children who receive no care at all, who are never held, never changed, never talked to, do not learn to talk, or walk, or feed themselves, or us the toilet, or even physically grow as they should, even if they are fed. Thus all childhood abuse that results in an adult who is capable of walking, speaking, self-feeding, and bladder control, didn't consist solely of abuse--there must have been moments, days, weeks, months, of an adult responding to the needs of the child.
That is to say, if the bar for "real abuse" is set at total and unrelenting abuse and neglect, the bar is set so low as to prevent survival, really. Abuse and neglect cannot be understood as the total absence of any care ever.
That's often how it's presented, though, in families like these. How can you be angry about x? How can you be upset about y? Don't you remember that nice thing I did for you once? But the nice thing doesn't cancel out the x, or the y. It's a favourite tactic of adult abusers too, isn't it? OK yes, I punched you in the face last week, and one time I broke your arm, but then I brought you flowers and you know I always take you to that restaurant you like.
It makes it worse for the survivor, those nice things. To bring back the Walking Dead, imagine the gang walking around in Alexandria, the zombies circling the walls, and then the zombies start throwing flowers over the gates. There's no apologies. There's no indication that they remember slaughtering and eating the survivors' loved ones. But there are these occasional gifts, these nice things, the flowers thrown over the wall; and then, later on, the demands that the gates be opened. OK yes, I killed your wife, I ate her, I ate your brother too, but then I gave you flowers. Open the gates! How can you still hold a grudge, after all this time?
The nice things end up standing out in one's memory in an aura of fear, rather than enjoyment. It becomes a mystery that begs an answer, where no answer is.
When a functional and healthy person does something hurtful or wrong, they apologize.
The lack of an apology, particularly coupled with a demand for resumption of the relationship and NO process for amends, means that the person is not safe to be around. "Nice things" notwithstanding.
This is something a child who grows up in an abusive home learns on their own, very slowly, if at all; and it is something that is not discussed in this book.
The most basic, fundamental action of healing--removing the source of hurt from one's life and keeping it as far distant as possible--is not even mentioned. Indeed, in the author's rush to assure readers that she is not one of those authors who blames parents, she goes a fair bit in the other direction, all but assuring readers that once healing is done, once you have miraculously recovered the person you would have been, you can be around your parent and the things they do will no longer hurt.
Imagine giving this advice to an abused spouse. Leave, for a while. Get counselling, meditate, do yoga. Feel better. Then go back to him. From now on, when he punches you in the face, you won't mind. If you do, it's your fault, you're "blaming him."
This is a dangerously irresponsible idea.
~~~~~
I can recommend Part I wholeheartedly to anyone interested in this subject. If you are reading "for a friend," just be aware that the preponderance of bad news and tragic anecdotes may make a difficult read. I found it triggering as hell.
I cannot recommend Part II to anyone, really. If you have never ever heard of meditation used therapeutically and are totally unaware of the health claims for yoga, and you can be satisfied with a couple of paragraphs of anecdotal data, then by all means. Otherwise, no.
December 10, 2016
If your childhood was fucked up.
And now you are.
Here's why and how not to be.
And now you are.
Here's why and how not to be.
July 7, 2016
She might be a mad genius, bringing in the lay reader with high levels of sensationalism only to help the reader understand the complex nature of how environmental factors modify the necessary neurochemicals, hormones, and gene expression for optimal health throughout the lifespan. However, it seems grossly irresponsible to completely neglect the difference between correlation and causation. This author is filling the reader's head with a bunch of nonsense that isn't even close to being considered solid science. Some of her arguments are truly terrible. She does include some of the best science/studies related to her subject. There is no question about that. It is just the way she puts it together that really leaves the educated reader to wonder if she herself knows the difference between correlation and causation. At times, there is not even a correlation shown by any study for some of the claims she makes.
Her best work was toward the middle of the book where she began to demonstrate the more dynamic nature of the effects of environment (maltreatment) and biology (health). Thankfully, she did a really nice job discussing the "sensitivity gene" (serotonin allele variation) as well as the extremely important effects of perception of stress on the body's response to it. It was for this reason that I changed my mind about giving this book one star and ended up giving it 2.
She ended part 3 by saying, "We can repair and regrow the underdeveloped neural connections." Such a pollyanna take on neuroregeneration that occurs in the hippocampus and migrates outwardly on microglia to the more distal regions of the brain or the connections made in various regions where neuron "wire together and fire together". I keep asking myself 2 questions: "Why is she saying this?!" and "Why am I still reading this?"
Part 4 covers how to heal. The section begins by stating that so little is known about developmental trauma that it was not included in the DSM. But a little fact like that is certainly not going to stop someone who presents assumptions over facts. Thus the author simply waves that away and purports to be some type of authority who can help people heal. Maybe she is not a journalist but rather a guru or even medical medium? (maybe it's not worth 2 stars after all. It seems likely that as I reflect on this book, I will feel compelled to bump it down to one star.)
She does have helpful suggestions about using mindfulness and meditation. These are excellent, and scientifically proven, methods to help promote the process of *general* neruoregeneration (not nearly how she portrayed it). Being associated with CBT, mindfulness helps individuals become more functional. Most of the other suggestions were not supported by evidence. Some parenting suggestions were supported by science but it simply wasn't enough to pull this book out of the quagmire.
Even with the inclusion of really good science, this book is still filled with" just so stories" that are not even remotely supported by the data. This field is in its infancy. It's a worthwhile subject to study. In fact I am personally obsessed with it. There is much we can learn, but do yourself a favor and learn from a scientists or a better educated and more skeptical journalist.
Her best work was toward the middle of the book where she began to demonstrate the more dynamic nature of the effects of environment (maltreatment) and biology (health). Thankfully, she did a really nice job discussing the "sensitivity gene" (serotonin allele variation) as well as the extremely important effects of perception of stress on the body's response to it. It was for this reason that I changed my mind about giving this book one star and ended up giving it 2.
She ended part 3 by saying, "We can repair and regrow the underdeveloped neural connections." Such a pollyanna take on neuroregeneration that occurs in the hippocampus and migrates outwardly on microglia to the more distal regions of the brain or the connections made in various regions where neuron "wire together and fire together". I keep asking myself 2 questions: "Why is she saying this?!" and "Why am I still reading this?"
Part 4 covers how to heal. The section begins by stating that so little is known about developmental trauma that it was not included in the DSM. But a little fact like that is certainly not going to stop someone who presents assumptions over facts. Thus the author simply waves that away and purports to be some type of authority who can help people heal. Maybe she is not a journalist but rather a guru or even medical medium? (maybe it's not worth 2 stars after all. It seems likely that as I reflect on this book, I will feel compelled to bump it down to one star.)
She does have helpful suggestions about using mindfulness and meditation. These are excellent, and scientifically proven, methods to help promote the process of *general* neruoregeneration (not nearly how she portrayed it). Being associated with CBT, mindfulness helps individuals become more functional. Most of the other suggestions were not supported by evidence. Some parenting suggestions were supported by science but it simply wasn't enough to pull this book out of the quagmire.
Even with the inclusion of really good science, this book is still filled with" just so stories" that are not even remotely supported by the data. This field is in its infancy. It's a worthwhile subject to study. In fact I am personally obsessed with it. There is much we can learn, but do yourself a favor and learn from a scientists or a better educated and more skeptical journalist.
June 13, 2015
Learn how your reactions to childhood events (which we carry around in the our cells) contribute to our disease creation. Yes, our biography impacts our biology. Truly. This is the second Donna Jackson Nakazawa book I’ve read and once again her writing is compassionate and easy to understand. She shows us how we have the ability and power to heal ourselves. She provides many resources to help us in healing our biological wounds and gave me renewed confidence as I search for health care resources to partner with me to overcome my autoimmune disease.
December 12, 2018
You know that saying, that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? It turns out that while we have long assumed that was probably faulty logic, the more we learn about brains and brain plasticity and epigenetics, the more we now know for a fact it is crap: what doesn't kill you rewires you brain and leaves an imprint of trauma that not only leads to psychological issues down the road, but also, to health issues. Many, many, many health issues.
And even 'mild' traumas of childhood (being teased, feeling like an outsider at home or at school, parents who yell, even if not at you) have been shown to have damaging effects on our body, and have been linked to many autoimmune diseases (and other illnesses) that appear decades later. Decades. As in, that ulcer you get in our 30s? Look back at your adverse childhood experiences and chances are your answers might be found there.
Which is to say: the research discussed in this book was fascinating. And horrifying. I sat there and at first read stories of intense traumas in the early chapters (parents being killed, etc), and thought: ah! Okay! My brain and body are safe. - Then I kept reading, and midway through the book, I figured I, along with almost everyone else, was absolutely ruined and faced a future of illnesses too great to list. - But then came the part about what we can do to rewrite and rewire our brains, and while that section felt a bit too flimsy, it at least gave me hope, mostly because I am already doing many of things recommended, such as having a daily meditation practice.
But for anyone who is interested in brains, and health, and trauma, or who has any contact with children, ever - so pretty much everyone - I'd highly recommend reading this book.
And even 'mild' traumas of childhood (being teased, feeling like an outsider at home or at school, parents who yell, even if not at you) have been shown to have damaging effects on our body, and have been linked to many autoimmune diseases (and other illnesses) that appear decades later. Decades. As in, that ulcer you get in our 30s? Look back at your adverse childhood experiences and chances are your answers might be found there.
Which is to say: the research discussed in this book was fascinating. And horrifying. I sat there and at first read stories of intense traumas in the early chapters (parents being killed, etc), and thought: ah! Okay! My brain and body are safe. - Then I kept reading, and midway through the book, I figured I, along with almost everyone else, was absolutely ruined and faced a future of illnesses too great to list. - But then came the part about what we can do to rewrite and rewire our brains, and while that section felt a bit too flimsy, it at least gave me hope, mostly because I am already doing many of things recommended, such as having a daily meditation practice.
But for anyone who is interested in brains, and health, and trauma, or who has any contact with children, ever - so pretty much everyone - I'd highly recommend reading this book.
August 5, 2015
There were so many "ah-ha!" moments in it for me personally, that I'm sure my objectivity is a little clouded. I wish I'd had access to this sort of information as a young adult, and especially before marrying and then becoming a "mom". But I am also happy to now have the information to finish dealing with personal issues that I've probably always realized - at some level - derived from my upbringing, not to mention how my own parents (and THEIR parents) were raised. As I began reading, I was visiting with one of my brothers, and we had some really good discussions about "the good ole days".
There are two generally encouraging concepts I gleaned from my reading. (1) If you had early childhood adverse experiences, you're not alone - about 2/3 of American adults have endured ACEs of some number and type. (2) There are ways adults can successfully deal with the fallout of those experiences, and the author describes many. I will definitely be working with some of those.
All in all, this is an awesome, and well-documented read. As a teacher, it will be invaluable working with my students.
There are two generally encouraging concepts I gleaned from my reading. (1) If you had early childhood adverse experiences, you're not alone - about 2/3 of American adults have endured ACEs of some number and type. (2) There are ways adults can successfully deal with the fallout of those experiences, and the author describes many. I will definitely be working with some of those.
All in all, this is an awesome, and well-documented read. As a teacher, it will be invaluable working with my students.
July 8, 2024
เป็นงานเขียนแนววิชาการที่ไม่สนุกแน่ ๆ เครียดหน่อย ๆ แต่มีคุณค่า ควรค่าที่จะอ่าน
ไม่จำเป็นต้องมีปมในวัยเด็กก็อ่านได้ บางทีคิดว่าไม่มี จริง ๆ แล้วอาจจะมีแต่ไม่รู้ตัว 😅😅 หรืออย่างน้อยเผื่อมีโอกาสช่วยเหลือคนที่เป็นทุกข์จากปมเหล่านั้น
หนังสือเล่มนี้ไม่ได้เขียนขึ้นเพื่อให้ไปตำหนิคนรุ่นก่อนแต่เขียนเพื่อเยียวยาบาดแผลในวัยเด็ก เพื่อเดินหน้าต่อ เพื่อเติบโต
* ภาคแรกของหนังสือกินพื้นที่ไปสองในสามเล่ม อุทิศให้กับการทำความเข้าใจว่าประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก ความเครียดเรื้อรังที่ไม่อาจคาดเดาได้ส่งผลต่อการพัฒนาของสมองอย่างไร และทำให้เกิดการอักเสบจนส่งผลให้เกิดโรคทางร่างกายและจิตใจได้อย่างไร
โดยจะมีแบบทดสอบประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก เช่น โดนดูถูกเหยียดหยาม โดนละเลย โดนทำร้ายร่างกาย โดนล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ ผู้ปกครองอารมณ์ไม่มั่นคง ติดสารเสพติด เหล่านี้ล้วนเป็นปัจจัยที่ส่งผลให้เกิดความผิดปกติทางร่างกายในอนาคตทั้งสิ้น
ที่น่าเศร้าคือบางคนโตมาโดยไม่รู้ตัวด้วยซ้ำว่าครอบครัวตนเองมีปัญหา แต่กลับโทษตัวเองมาตลอดว่าตัวเองคือคนที่มีปัญหาทำให้พ่อแม่เป็นแบบนี้
โรคบางโรคที่ยังหาสาเหตุไม่ได้ ส่วนหนึ่งอาจจะมาจากปมวัยเด็กที่ไม่ได้รับการคลี่คลาย การเยียวยาปมในใจจึงเป็นหนึ่งในวิธีช่วยรักษาโรคนั้น
* ภาคสอง คือ การฟื้นฟูตัวเองโดยแบ่งเป็นสิ่งที่ทำด้วยตนเองได้และวิธีการบำบัดโดยผู้เชี่ยวชาญ
- วิธีบำบัดด้วยตนเองก็เป็นวิธีพื้นฐานที่ใช้ได้กับทุกคน ไม่จำเป็นต้องมีปมในวัยเด็กก็ทำได้เพื่อพัฒนาตนเอง เช่น เขียนระบายอารมณ์ความรู้สึก วาดรูป ฝึกสมาธิ ไท่เก๊ก ชี่กง แผ่เมตตาแก่ตนเองและผู้อื่น ให้อภัยเพื่อตัวเอง นวดบำบัด เพิ่มแบคทีเรียดีในร่างกาย
- บำบัดโดยผู้เชี่ยวชาญ แน่นอนมันช่วยได้อยู่แล้ว แต่จะเข้าถึงนักบำบัดได้กี่โมงงง 😔😔
ปิดท้ายด้วยเลี้ยงลูกอย่างไรให้ไม่มีบาดแผลทางใจ ไม่จำเป็นต้องเป็นพ่อแม่คน ผู้ใหญ่ทุกคนอ่านได้ ว่าควรจะเป็นผู้ใหญ่อย่างไรที่ไม่สร้างปมในใจให้เด็ก และจะช่วยเหลือเด็กเหล่านี้ได้อย่างไร
อ่านจบได้อะไร:
- สำหรับคนที่มีประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก อยากบอกว่าไม่จำเป็นต้องลืมมัน แต่มันเยียวยาได้
- ช่วยกันเป็นผู้ใหญ่ที่พึ่งพาได้ สร้างสิ่งแวดล้อมที่ปลอดภัยให้เด็ก
- สำหรับบุคลากรทางการแพทย์ โรคบางโรคที่เกิดได้จากหลายสาเหตุ การให้ผู้ป่วยประเมินประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็กอาจมีส่วนช่วยในการดูแลรักษา คิดว่าอันนี้ยากเหมือนกัน ต้องมีทั้งเวลาและมีความสัมพันธ์อันดีกันระดับหนึ่งเลยแหละ
ไม่จำเป็นต้องมีปมในวัยเด็กก็อ่านได้ บางทีคิดว่าไม่มี จริง ๆ แล้วอาจจะมีแต่ไม่รู้ตัว 😅😅 หรืออย่างน้อยเผื่อมีโอกาสช่วยเหลือคนที่เป็นทุกข์จากปมเหล่านั้น
หนังสือเล่มนี้ไม่ได้เขียนขึ้นเพื่อให้ไปตำหนิคนรุ่นก่อนแต่เขียนเพื่อเยียวยาบาดแผลในวัยเด็ก เพื่อเดินหน้าต่อ เพื่อเติบโต
* ภาคแรกของหนังสือกินพื้นที่ไปสองในสามเล่ม อุทิศให้กับการทำความเข้าใจว่าประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก ความเครียดเรื้อรังที่ไม่อาจคาดเดาได้ส่งผลต่อการพัฒนาของสมองอย่างไร และทำให้เกิดการอักเสบจนส่งผลให้เกิดโรคทางร่างกายและจิตใจได้อย่างไร
โดยจะมีแบบทดสอบประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก เช่น โดนดูถูกเหยียดหยาม โดนละเลย โดนทำร้ายร่างกาย โดนล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ ผู้ปกครองอารมณ์ไม่มั่นคง ติดสารเสพติด เหล่านี้ล้วนเป็นปัจจัยที่ส่งผลให้เกิดความผิดปกติทางร่างกายในอนาคตทั้งสิ้น
ที่น่าเศร้าคือบางคนโตมาโดยไม่รู้ตัวด้วยซ้ำว่าครอบครัวตนเองมีปัญหา แต่กลับโทษตัวเองมาตลอดว่าตัวเองคือคนที่มีปัญหาทำให้พ่อแม่เป็นแบบนี้
โรคบางโรคที่ยังหาสาเหตุไม่ได้ ส่วนหนึ่งอาจจะมาจากปมวัยเด็กที่ไม่ได้รับการคลี่คลาย การเยียวยาปมในใจจึงเป็นหนึ่งในวิธีช่วยรักษาโรคนั้น
* ภาคสอง คือ การฟื้นฟูตัวเองโดยแบ่งเป็นสิ่งที่ทำด้วยตนเองได้และวิธีการบำบัดโดยผู้เชี่ยวชาญ
- วิธีบำบัดด้วยตนเองก็เป็นวิธีพื้นฐานที่ใช้ได้กับทุกคน ไม่จำเป็นต้องมีปมในวัยเด็กก็ทำได้เพื่อพัฒนาตนเอง เช่น เขียนระบายอารมณ์ความรู้สึก วาดรูป ฝึกสมาธิ ไท่เก๊ก ชี่กง แผ่เมตตาแก่ตนเองและผู้อื่น ให้อภัยเพื่อตัวเอง นวดบำบัด เพิ่มแบคทีเรียดีในร่างกาย
- บำบัดโดยผู้เชี่ยวชาญ แน่นอนมันช่วยได้อยู่แล้ว แต่จะเข้าถึงนักบำบัดได้กี่โมงงง 😔😔
ปิดท้ายด้วยเลี้ยงลูกอย่างไรให้ไม่มีบาดแผลทางใจ ไม่จำเป็นต้องเป็นพ่อแม่คน ผู้ใหญ่ทุกคนอ่านได้ ว่าควรจะเป็นผู้ใหญ่อย่างไรที่ไม่สร้างปมในใจให้เด็ก และจะช่วยเหลือเด็กเหล่านี้ได้อย่างไร
อ่านจบได้อะไร:
- สำหรับคนที่มีประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก อยากบอกว่าไม่จำเป็นต้องลืมมัน แต่มันเยียวยาได้
- ช่วยกันเป็นผู้ใหญ่ที่พึ่งพาได้ สร้างสิ่งแวดล้อมที่ปลอดภัยให้เด็ก
- สำหรับบุคลากรทางการแพทย์ โรคบางโรคที่เกิดได้จากหลายสาเหตุ การให้ผู้ป่วยประเมินประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็กอาจมีส่วนช่วยในการดูแลรักษา คิดว่าอันนี้ยากเหมือนกัน ต้องมีทั้งเวลาและมีความสัมพันธ์อันดีกันระดับหนึ่งเลยแหละ
July 6, 2015
HIGHLY recommended for anyone who has a family history of mental illness, addiction, abuse, incarceration, molestation, suicide, and persons with autoimmune diseases. Also recommended for anyone who grew up in a house full of crazy (however you define it for yourself).
Especially crucial reading for anyone interested in the fields of trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), public health, and the intersectionality of those fields.
No one thing explains everything, but this book explains A LOT! Plenty of studies, with sources, for you to investigate and seek out on your own.
Especially crucial reading for anyone interested in the fields of trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), public health, and the intersectionality of those fields.
No one thing explains everything, but this book explains A LOT! Plenty of studies, with sources, for you to investigate and seek out on your own.
June 13, 2015
I learned so much from this book. As I face my 50s and live with a few chronic illnesses, it's been important to understand all kinds of possible causes. The cause of childhood stress is one I wouldn't know about were it not for Donna's books. Beyond the cause or contributing factors information, this book covers solutions. And, of course, putting solutions in place is an important part of healing. Highly recommend this for anyone who lives with chronic illness.
November 13, 2020
Five flipping huge stars and an extra one for all the amazing conversations this book opened up. I cannot recommend this read enough, especially if you are a paren, someone who interacts with kids and teens, or someone who has struggled with chronic illness. By far the most eye-opening nonfiction read at this point in my PhD. Holy moly.
April 15, 2017
Review to come
September 4, 2019
2.5 stars rounded up
I found the first half of this book to be confusing in how it was structured. Nakazawa seemed to jump from one idea to the next with no greater flow. However, I also found it really insightful and I learned a lot about how ACEs impact us as adults in a biologically tangible way. My chronic pain symptoms make a lot more sense in the context of the book. It’s validating to read play by play the cause and effect of childhood trauma on my brain and the rest of my body. Much more satisfying than “oh I’m just stressed.”
I was less impressed by the second half of the book. I find it problematic, even. It gives a lot of generic info on how to combat the impacts of ACEs, nothing you can’t find online (meditation, therapy, art, DIETING). The dieting part really turned me off because if you’re chronically depressed or have trouble taking care of yourself, restricting/severely controlling your food intake creates a bigger issue IMO. Obviously fruits and veggies have good vitamins and things that your body likes but cutting sugar and processed foods out of my diet will only make me more depressed, I assure you.
Nakazawa also pushes the idea of forgiving your abuser “for yourself.” I hate this concept, it diminishes responsibility for the abuse and puts the onus on the person who was abused to make things right or whatever. I don’t think that absolving someone of violence against you as a child is necessary for growth and moving on. You can absolutely hope that person fcks off and dies for the rest of your life while you happily move on and live your life without them. She doesn’t even suggest staying away from your abuser. Hard to believe this was written in 2015.
I read lots of stuff about recovering from trauma and managing mental illness, so maybe this will be more awe-inspiring for someone who needs an intro to ACEs.
I found the first half of this book to be confusing in how it was structured. Nakazawa seemed to jump from one idea to the next with no greater flow. However, I also found it really insightful and I learned a lot about how ACEs impact us as adults in a biologically tangible way. My chronic pain symptoms make a lot more sense in the context of the book. It’s validating to read play by play the cause and effect of childhood trauma on my brain and the rest of my body. Much more satisfying than “oh I’m just stressed.”
I was less impressed by the second half of the book. I find it problematic, even. It gives a lot of generic info on how to combat the impacts of ACEs, nothing you can’t find online (meditation, therapy, art, DIETING). The dieting part really turned me off because if you’re chronically depressed or have trouble taking care of yourself, restricting/severely controlling your food intake creates a bigger issue IMO. Obviously fruits and veggies have good vitamins and things that your body likes but cutting sugar and processed foods out of my diet will only make me more depressed, I assure you.
Nakazawa also pushes the idea of forgiving your abuser “for yourself.” I hate this concept, it diminishes responsibility for the abuse and puts the onus on the person who was abused to make things right or whatever. I don’t think that absolving someone of violence against you as a child is necessary for growth and moving on. You can absolutely hope that person fcks off and dies for the rest of your life while you happily move on and live your life without them. She doesn’t even suggest staying away from your abuser. Hard to believe this was written in 2015.
I read lots of stuff about recovering from trauma and managing mental illness, so maybe this will be more awe-inspiring for someone who needs an intro to ACEs.
August 24, 2015
I think the writer did a great job of defining the issue and presenting relevant science and data for cause and effect. I felt she missed on solutions and prevention and what she did offer came late in the reading.
Read
April 7, 2021у каждого своё домашнее задание. не могу оценивать такие книги, потому что у меня недостаточно знаний, чтобы делать это обоснованно. но связь между детскими травмами и дальнейшими проблемами со здоровьем — очень интересная гипотеза, о которой хочется знать больше, ведь чем лучше мы понимаем происходящее — тем выше шансы того, что нам удастся разобраться и справиться.
January 12, 2024
So much good info though it took me a solid 2 months to finish. Just a lot to sift through. I took a six hour childhood trauma class for the district for my job, and I asked for a reading list, and I had read almost all the books except for this one.
So many Notes:
If something terrible is happening to a teenager or a child in their family, it can be very valuable to take that child aside and tell them it is not their fault, and doesn't have anything to do with them because chances are that person is internalizing it, and think it is all their fault why, they were being miss treated. "they go from assuming they are inherently bad and deserve what's occurring and asking themselves what is wrong with me? To asking healthier questions like what is wrong with the person who is doing this to me what is wrong with the situation? "Once he make this leap, they have far greater possibility of healing.
"it has been said, if child abuse and neglect or to disappear today, the diagnostic and statistical manual of a shrink the size of a pamphlet in two generations, and the prisons would be empty.""I have become convinced that are number one public health problem is our childhood ".
"researchers concluded that no other single factor was more significantly related to illness than the degree of parental closeness one enjoyed growing up. In fact, lack of parental closeness was a more significant contributor to later disease than smoking, drinking, parental divorce, having a parent, die, or being exposed to toxic environmental substances". Crazy
"when parents overreacts or under-reacts, a toddler gets the message when I feel bad and tell mommy I just make mommy feel sadder or madder. Mommy can't help me". Wish I had known this 25 years ago.
"to be extremely stressed chronically when pregnant means the baby is growing in an environment that is bathing in far too much cortisol. This could have a tremendous influence on the nervous system of the fetus, so that the baby from birth might be susceptible or hyperviligant or vulnerable to any form of stimulation because they're nervous system is set on high ".
"when you keep your emotions repressed, that's when the body starts to try to get your attention. Because you weren't paying attention. Our childhood is stored up in our bodies and one day the body will present its Bill " one fix is writing. Writing down your deepest emotions and thoughts about the emotional upheaval and exploring the events and how it affects you can begin the healing.
"the simple exercise of writing your secrets even if you destroy it immediately after word has been shown to have a positive effect on health "
Lots of info on trauma release exercises, and yoga to heal.
• it is worse to be exposed to chronic unpredictable stress rather than completely predictable stress. It creates different brain changes. If you know the stress is coming at the same time in the same way every day you can manage. When it's unpredictable, you're more likely to get sick and get ulcers.
• why do some stuff for more than others? There is a sensitivity gene. "Some people are genetically primed to be more sensitive to what's going on around them and their environment "others aren't as deeply affected by early adversity. Things don't hit them quite so hard, and the difference exists deep within our deep, genetic code" lots of interesting explanations.
Looking into your infants eyes orients them tells them they are safe. It stimulates the vagus nerve and has a calming influence on their heart and lungs turns off stress response. Wow.
As a parent, if you lose your temper or screwup, repairing it right away with an apology can head off any damage done to your child. It lets them know that the problem isn't them and they don't internalize it.
Having said, all of that "researchers have found that in the last decades of life, between the ages of 65 and 84, those who never suffered from childhood adversity have greater levels of inflammatory hormones than those who face childhood adversity. Perhaps overtime as we begin to make meaning of our experience and incorporate are past into our complex identity, and accept how it shaped who we are now, we ultimately gain some deeper sense of self and self acceptance"
"people who met up with adversity in the past have an elevated capacity for savoring. The worst experiences in life may come with an eventual upside, by promoting the ability to appreciate life's small pleasures "
So much Valuable info, that's just the teaser.
So many Notes:
If something terrible is happening to a teenager or a child in their family, it can be very valuable to take that child aside and tell them it is not their fault, and doesn't have anything to do with them because chances are that person is internalizing it, and think it is all their fault why, they were being miss treated. "they go from assuming they are inherently bad and deserve what's occurring and asking themselves what is wrong with me? To asking healthier questions like what is wrong with the person who is doing this to me what is wrong with the situation? "Once he make this leap, they have far greater possibility of healing.
"it has been said, if child abuse and neglect or to disappear today, the diagnostic and statistical manual of a shrink the size of a pamphlet in two generations, and the prisons would be empty.""I have become convinced that are number one public health problem is our childhood ".
"researchers concluded that no other single factor was more significantly related to illness than the degree of parental closeness one enjoyed growing up. In fact, lack of parental closeness was a more significant contributor to later disease than smoking, drinking, parental divorce, having a parent, die, or being exposed to toxic environmental substances". Crazy
"when parents overreacts or under-reacts, a toddler gets the message when I feel bad and tell mommy I just make mommy feel sadder or madder. Mommy can't help me". Wish I had known this 25 years ago.
"to be extremely stressed chronically when pregnant means the baby is growing in an environment that is bathing in far too much cortisol. This could have a tremendous influence on the nervous system of the fetus, so that the baby from birth might be susceptible or hyperviligant or vulnerable to any form of stimulation because they're nervous system is set on high ".
"when you keep your emotions repressed, that's when the body starts to try to get your attention. Because you weren't paying attention. Our childhood is stored up in our bodies and one day the body will present its Bill " one fix is writing. Writing down your deepest emotions and thoughts about the emotional upheaval and exploring the events and how it affects you can begin the healing.
"the simple exercise of writing your secrets even if you destroy it immediately after word has been shown to have a positive effect on health "
Lots of info on trauma release exercises, and yoga to heal.
• it is worse to be exposed to chronic unpredictable stress rather than completely predictable stress. It creates different brain changes. If you know the stress is coming at the same time in the same way every day you can manage. When it's unpredictable, you're more likely to get sick and get ulcers.
• why do some stuff for more than others? There is a sensitivity gene. "Some people are genetically primed to be more sensitive to what's going on around them and their environment "others aren't as deeply affected by early adversity. Things don't hit them quite so hard, and the difference exists deep within our deep, genetic code" lots of interesting explanations.
Looking into your infants eyes orients them tells them they are safe. It stimulates the vagus nerve and has a calming influence on their heart and lungs turns off stress response. Wow.
As a parent, if you lose your temper or screwup, repairing it right away with an apology can head off any damage done to your child. It lets them know that the problem isn't them and they don't internalize it.
Having said, all of that "researchers have found that in the last decades of life, between the ages of 65 and 84, those who never suffered from childhood adversity have greater levels of inflammatory hormones than those who face childhood adversity. Perhaps overtime as we begin to make meaning of our experience and incorporate are past into our complex identity, and accept how it shaped who we are now, we ultimately gain some deeper sense of self and self acceptance"
"people who met up with adversity in the past have an elevated capacity for savoring. The worst experiences in life may come with an eventual upside, by promoting the ability to appreciate life's small pleasures "
So much Valuable info, that's just the teaser.
May 23, 2019
This is one of those books I feel ill-qualified to evaluate. Nakazawa is a medical journalist and someone who has dealt with chronic pain herself. I found her explanation of ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) to be persuasive and compelling, and her citations consisted of medical experts with verifiable credentials, including many from the CDC. So why does this still feel like fringe science to me and why haven't I heard of ACEs outside the context of this book?
Perhaps the weakness of the concluding sections on how to reverse impacts of stress on the body dragged the rest of the work down. The "12 steps to healing" is not a program so much as a list of therapies that might help, some of which are of dubious value and give the impression of grasping at straws, particularly considering the strengths of the previous section. Am I really supposed to believe that childhood trauma can more or less permanently alter my brain functioning and stress responses but that can all be reversed with a little therapy and journaling?? Making that logical leap without providing the necessary scientific backing is a huge ask and I just couldn't follow the author down that path. This part of the book was a huge letdown that only seemed to reinforce what lazy doctors tell chronic pain patients over and over again: it's all in your head.
Upon reviewing the acknowledgements, it seems as though this book may have been rushed and perhaps not edited as carefully as the author may have liked. That's a real shame because I think the bones of a much better book are present here. As it stands, it's a decent primer on the concept of ACEs, but don't expect much more from it than that.
Perhaps the weakness of the concluding sections on how to reverse impacts of stress on the body dragged the rest of the work down. The "12 steps to healing" is not a program so much as a list of therapies that might help, some of which are of dubious value and give the impression of grasping at straws, particularly considering the strengths of the previous section. Am I really supposed to believe that childhood trauma can more or less permanently alter my brain functioning and stress responses but that can all be reversed with a little therapy and journaling?? Making that logical leap without providing the necessary scientific backing is a huge ask and I just couldn't follow the author down that path. This part of the book was a huge letdown that only seemed to reinforce what lazy doctors tell chronic pain patients over and over again: it's all in your head.
Upon reviewing the acknowledgements, it seems as though this book may have been rushed and perhaps not edited as carefully as the author may have liked. That's a real shame because I think the bones of a much better book are present here. As it stands, it's a decent primer on the concept of ACEs, but don't expect much more from it than that.
November 8, 2023
It's a good book. I recommend it, maybe highly. but there are some things in my mind i have to tell. I can't go into details because a detailed analysis will take a little longer.
First of all, I must say that the information given in the first chapter is a little exaggerated. While I agree with most of the content, as a medical student, I find it hard to believe that a single childhood trauma is the primary etiological factor in the development of the mentioned disease. I want to highlight that these objections are just a couple of points, and they shouldn't overshadow the main purpose of the book. Stress and anxiety definitely play a role in the occurrence of polyetiological autoimmune diseases. However this kinda diseases isn't simple, but relates to more things like a maze.
The next chapter is about treatment, and this chapter seems to have been written to lengthen the book. Because several different methods are given with very little information, there are no information or statistics about their benefits. Maybe the author was in a hurry to publish or I don't know if there is another reason. Book has some minuses in patches but basically traumas are an important topic, and the book should be read
First of all, I must say that the information given in the first chapter is a little exaggerated. While I agree with most of the content, as a medical student, I find it hard to believe that a single childhood trauma is the primary etiological factor in the development of the mentioned disease. I want to highlight that these objections are just a couple of points, and they shouldn't overshadow the main purpose of the book. Stress and anxiety definitely play a role in the occurrence of polyetiological autoimmune diseases. However this kinda diseases isn't simple, but relates to more things like a maze.
The next chapter is about treatment, and this chapter seems to have been written to lengthen the book. Because several different methods are given with very little information, there are no information or statistics about their benefits. Maybe the author was in a hurry to publish or I don't know if there is another reason. Book has some minuses in patches but basically traumas are an important topic, and the book should be read
February 3, 2023
4+ stars for me, with a caveat: I scored 0 on the adverse childhood events questionnaire, representing only 30+ % of the population so none of the case studies were triggering for me. I am grateful for the good fortune of my family heritage. I always thought everyone in my family lived to their 90s and 100s because of good health genes, but now I’m thinking there’s a large MENTAL health component to this remarkable longevity.
Why then read a book on childhood trauma? I’ve actually read several in the past few years. It’s because I am fascinated by psychology and human behavior and have (what I realize to be) relatively minor neuroses and anxieties that I like to analyze. I think we can all benefit from some of the techniques described in part 2, with our own family members (grandchildren!), and with our own negative emotions.
I learned a lot from this book and recommend it.
(I was annoyed with the narrator of the audiobook for a few mis-pronunciations and a couple of non-words. Not sure if the latter was her mistake or the authors. E.g. “orientated” instead of oriented. Those things are nails on a chalkboard to me.)
Why then read a book on childhood trauma? I’ve actually read several in the past few years. It’s because I am fascinated by psychology and human behavior and have (what I realize to be) relatively minor neuroses and anxieties that I like to analyze. I think we can all benefit from some of the techniques described in part 2, with our own family members (grandchildren!), and with our own negative emotions.
I learned a lot from this book and recommend it.
(I was annoyed with the narrator of the audiobook for a few mis-pronunciations and a couple of non-words. Not sure if the latter was her mistake or the authors. E.g. “orientated” instead of oriented. Those things are nails on a chalkboard to me.)
October 20, 2020
A very good reading based on scientific researches and works, which outlines the impact that early childhood can have on adult life. The book presents multiple examples, making it easier to understand the concepts and to remember the potential resolutions. It is a perfect reading for anyone willing to know more about themselves, irrespective of their childhood.
It provides great resources for those who want to deepen their knowledge.
It provides great resources for those who want to deepen their knowledge.
July 28, 2015
Overall, I think this book did a good job of providing an overview of the topic in a concise and easy-to-read manner. I don't know a lot about the studies that were relied on, and feel the conclusions drawn may be somewhat overstated. Nonetheless, the book presents a compelling hypothesis that I think warrants further research and study.
February 25, 2018
One of my biggest problems with this type of non-fiction book is that the author spends most of the book discussing the problem but does not offer valid, helpful suggestions to make things better.
This book is different. The author not only offers suggestions to help you if you are the victim of childhood trauma but also gives ideas in how to help your child if they are the victim. These suggestions are quite helpful and doable.
This book is different. The author not only offers suggestions to help you if you are the victim of childhood trauma but also gives ideas in how to help your child if they are the victim. These suggestions are quite helpful and doable.
November 25, 2015
very much more on 'how your biography affects your biology' than on 'how to fix it'
if looking for 'how to fix' this may not be the book for you (as it was not for me)
if looking for 'how to fix' this may not be the book for you (as it was not for me)
December 25, 2022
Excellent book talking about how adverse childhood experiences (ACE) can lead to significant increases in your risk of autoimmune diseases, depression and anxiety.
December 14, 2018
(The English review is placed beneath Russian one)
Эта книга больше напоминает журналистскую работу, нежели классическую книгу по психологии наподобие Фрейда, Маслоу, Зимбардо, Чалдини и других психологов совершенно разных направлений. Что касается содержания, то лично я нашёл книгу очень и очень неоднозначной, хотя перед чтением книги я возлагал на неё большие надежды.
Во-первых, очень важно отметить некоторое несоответствие. Автор пишет, что насилие, пассивная агрессия, унижение, отсутствие эмоциональной близости и так далее, причиняемые детям родителями или иными близкими им людьми, существенно повышает шансы получить во взрослой жизни букет различных болезней. И далее автор будет описывать огромное количество различных историй, которых будет объединять как раз то, что все они (главные герои этих историй) имели тяжёлое детство. Я особо не вникал в названия и описание болезней, но кажется, что это всё довольно серьёзные недуги. Что меня смущает, так это прямая линия, которую автор проводит от трудного детства к серьёзным болезням в зрелом возрасте. У меня сложилось такое ощущение, что автор излишне сильно напирает на эту зависимость. Да, она приводит исследования в поддержку своего взгляда. И всё же безапелляционность взгляда автора мне не очень пришло по душе. Но допустим.
Второй момент заключается в том, что после того, как мы ознакомились с частью историй, автор пишет, что главной и основной причиной, оказывается, является длительный стресс, который испытывают дети, находящиеся в подобных условиях. Вот это поворот! Так что конкретно становится причиной проблем со здоровьем в будущем: трудное детство или стресс? Может показаться, что это одно и то же. Однако это не одно и то же, т.к. автор должна была чётко обозначить причину будущих проблем, а не скрывать их за маской насилия в семье. Тут нельзя играть словами и говорить, мол, насилие в семье, это то же самое, что и длительный стресс. Но тогда, если говорить о проблеме как о стрессе, исчезнет эмоциональная составляющая книги – насилие над детьми – и мы получим чисто академическую (или близкую к академической) книгу по психологии, такую же как «Почему у зебр не бывает инфаркта. Психология стресса» Сапольски, на которого она будет ссылаться.
Третий момент. Большая часть книги, а можно даже сказать вся книга, это набор историй из жизни людей с описанием их трудного детства, т.е. как вели близкие им люди по отношению к ним + описание различных исследований на тему длительного стресса и стресса как такового.
Последняя, наименьшая, часть книги выбила меня полностью. Я мог принять все предыдущие предложения автора, но когда она начала на полном серьёзе писать о медитации, буддизме, йоги, осознанном мышлении и здоровом питании, это стало для меня явным перебором. Если автор пишет, что то, что человек испытал в детстве, может привести к серьёзным болезням во взрослой жизни, то подразумевается, что ему требуется профессиональная помощь квалифицированного врача. Однако нет, в последней части книги, где автор предлагает заняться самолечением, она на полном серьёзе говорит про йогу и медитацию. И это при таких серьёзных болезнях! Это при таких серьёзных психических потрясений, которые испытал человек в детстве, что они появляются в будущем и влияют не просто на ментальное состояние, а они приводят к физическим изменениям в организме. И вот в качестве решения автор предлагает йогу и здоровое питание!? Да вы шутите надо мной. Даже если это только дополнительная работа, даже в этом случаи нельзя говорить о таких непроверенных методах в серьёз. Более того, вообще ничего нельзя было писать о самолечение, т.к. тут не просто «лёгкие психологические затруднения», а глубокая депрессия и физиологические проблемы.
В общем, книга ничего нового не предлагает, но лишь вводит довольно спорные взаимосвязи. Плюс, книга перебарщивает с эмоциями, как мне кажется, в ущерб научности.
This book is more like a journalistic work than a classic book (Freud, Maslow, Zimbardo, David G. Myers, and other psychologists of different directions). In terms of content, I found the book to be very, very controversial, although I had high hopes before reading it.
First of all, it is very important to note some discrepancies. The author writes that violence, passive aggression, humiliation, lack of emotional intimacy, and so on, caused to children by parents or other people close to them significantly increases the chances of getting a bouquet of diseases in adult life. And further, the author describes a huge number of various stories, which will be combined by the fact that all of them (the main characters of these stories) had a difficult childhood. I didn't really get into the names and descriptions of diseases, but it seems that they are all quite serious illnesses. What confuses me is the direct line that the author takes from a difficult childhood to illnesses in adulthood. I have the feeling that the author is pushing too hard on this correlation. Yes, she cites research to support her view. And yet, the author's unapologetic view was not very agreeable to me. But let's suppose.
The second point is that after we have read some of the stories, the author writes that the main reason for this is the long-term stress that children in these circumstances experience. That's a turnaround! So what exactly is the cause of health problems in the future: a difficult childhood or stress? It may seem like the same thing. However, it is not the same, as the author should have clearly identified the cause of future problems, rather than hiding them behind a mask of domestic violence. You can't play with words and say that domestic violence is the same as long-term stress. But then, if we talk about the problem as stress, the emotional component of the book - violence against children - will disappear, and we get a purely academic (or close to academic) book on psychology, such as "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" by Sapolsky, to which she will refer.
The third point. Most of the book, or even the entire book, is a set of stories from people's lives, describing their difficult childhood, i.e., how their relatives behaved towards them + a description of various studies on the topic of long-term stress and stress as such.
The last part of the book knocked me out completely. I could take all the previous suggestions from the author, but when she started to write about meditation, Buddhism, yoga, awareness, and healthy eating in a very serious way, it was the last straw for me. If the author is writing that what a person has experienced as a child can lead to serious illnesses in adult life, it means that he/she needs professional help from a qualified doctor. However, in the last part of the book, where the author proposes to do self-medication, she speaks seriously about yoga and meditation. And this is with such serious illnesses! It's with such serious mental upheavals, which a person experienced in childhood, that they appear in the future and affect not only the mental state but they lead to physical changes in the body. So the author offers yoga and healthy eating as a solution! You're kidding me. Even if it's just extra work, even in this case, you can't talk about such untested methods in a serious way. Moreover, it was unthinkable to write anything about self-treatment, because it is not just a "mild psychological difficulty," but a deep depression and physiological problems.
In general, the book does not offer anything new but only introduces rather controversial interrelationships. Plus, the book is too emotional, I think, to the detriment of science.
Эта книга больше напоминает журналистскую работу, нежели классическую книгу по психологии наподобие Фрейда, Маслоу, Зимбардо, Чалдини и других психологов совершенно разных направлений. Что касается содержания, то лично я нашёл книгу очень и очень неоднозначной, хотя перед чтением книги я возлагал на неё большие надежды.
Во-первых, очень важно отметить некоторое несоответствие. Автор пишет, что насилие, пассивная агрессия, унижение, отсутствие эмоциональной близости и так далее, причиняемые детям родителями или иными близкими им людьми, существенно повышает шансы получить во взрослой жизни букет различных болезней. И далее автор будет описывать огромное количество различных историй, которых будет объединять как раз то, что все они (главные герои этих историй) имели тяжёлое детство. Я особо не вникал в названия и описание болезней, но кажется, что это всё довольно серьёзные недуги. Что меня смущает, так это прямая линия, которую автор проводит от трудного детства к серьёзным болезням в зрелом возрасте. У меня сложилось такое ощущение, что автор излишне сильно напирает на эту зависимость. Да, она приводит исследования в поддержку своего взгляда. И всё же безапелляционность взгляда автора мне не очень пришло по душе. Но допустим.
Второй момент заключается в том, что после того, как мы ознакомились с частью историй, автор пишет, что главной и основной причиной, оказывается, является длительный стресс, который испытывают дети, находящиеся в подобных условиях. Вот это поворот! Так что конкретно становится причиной проблем со здоровьем в будущем: трудное детство или стресс? Может показаться, что это одно и то же. Однако это не одно и то же, т.к. автор должна была чётко обозначить причину будущих проблем, а не скрывать их за маской насилия в семье. Тут нельзя играть словами и говорить, мол, насилие в семье, это то же самое, что и длительный стресс. Но тогда, если говорить о проблеме как о стрессе, исчезнет эмоциональная составляющая книги – насилие над детьми – и мы получим чисто академическую (или близкую к академической) книгу по психологии, такую же как «Почему у зебр не бывает инфаркта. Психология стресса» Сапольски, на которого она будет ссылаться.
Третий момент. Большая часть книги, а можно даже сказать вся книга, это набор историй из жизни людей с описанием их трудного детства, т.е. как вели близкие им люди по отношению к ним + описание различных исследований на тему длительного стресса и стресса как такового.
Последняя, наименьшая, часть книги выбила меня полностью. Я мог принять все предыдущие предложения автора, но когда она начала на полном серьёзе писать о медитации, буддизме, йоги, осознанном мышлении и здоровом питании, это стало для меня явным перебором. Если автор пишет, что то, что человек испытал в детстве, может привести к серьёзным болезням во взрослой жизни, то подразумевается, что ему требуется профессиональная помощь квалифицированного врача. Однако нет, в последней части книги, где автор предлагает заняться самолечением, она на полном серьёзе говорит про йогу и медитацию. И это при таких серьёзных болезнях! Это при таких серьёзных психических потрясений, которые испытал человек в детстве, что они появляются в будущем и влияют не просто на ментальное состояние, а они приводят к физическим изменениям в организме. И вот в качестве решения автор предлагает йогу и здоровое питание!? Да вы шутите надо мной. Даже если это только дополнительная работа, даже в этом случаи нельзя говорить о таких непроверенных методах в серьёз. Более того, вообще ничего нельзя было писать о самолечение, т.к. тут не просто «лёгкие психологические затруднения», а глубокая депрессия и физиологические проблемы.
В общем, книга ничего нового не предлагает, но лишь вводит довольно спорные взаимосвязи. Плюс, книга перебарщивает с эмоциями, как мне кажется, в ущерб научности.
This book is more like a journalistic work than a classic book (Freud, Maslow, Zimbardo, David G. Myers, and other psychologists of different directions). In terms of content, I found the book to be very, very controversial, although I had high hopes before reading it.
First of all, it is very important to note some discrepancies. The author writes that violence, passive aggression, humiliation, lack of emotional intimacy, and so on, caused to children by parents or other people close to them significantly increases the chances of getting a bouquet of diseases in adult life. And further, the author describes a huge number of various stories, which will be combined by the fact that all of them (the main characters of these stories) had a difficult childhood. I didn't really get into the names and descriptions of diseases, but it seems that they are all quite serious illnesses. What confuses me is the direct line that the author takes from a difficult childhood to illnesses in adulthood. I have the feeling that the author is pushing too hard on this correlation. Yes, she cites research to support her view. And yet, the author's unapologetic view was not very agreeable to me. But let's suppose.
The second point is that after we have read some of the stories, the author writes that the main reason for this is the long-term stress that children in these circumstances experience. That's a turnaround! So what exactly is the cause of health problems in the future: a difficult childhood or stress? It may seem like the same thing. However, it is not the same, as the author should have clearly identified the cause of future problems, rather than hiding them behind a mask of domestic violence. You can't play with words and say that domestic violence is the same as long-term stress. But then, if we talk about the problem as stress, the emotional component of the book - violence against children - will disappear, and we get a purely academic (or close to academic) book on psychology, such as "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" by Sapolsky, to which she will refer.
The third point. Most of the book, or even the entire book, is a set of stories from people's lives, describing their difficult childhood, i.e., how their relatives behaved towards them + a description of various studies on the topic of long-term stress and stress as such.
The last part of the book knocked me out completely. I could take all the previous suggestions from the author, but when she started to write about meditation, Buddhism, yoga, awareness, and healthy eating in a very serious way, it was the last straw for me. If the author is writing that what a person has experienced as a child can lead to serious illnesses in adult life, it means that he/she needs professional help from a qualified doctor. However, in the last part of the book, where the author proposes to do self-medication, she speaks seriously about yoga and meditation. And this is with such serious illnesses! It's with such serious mental upheavals, which a person experienced in childhood, that they appear in the future and affect not only the mental state but they lead to physical changes in the body. So the author offers yoga and healthy eating as a solution! You're kidding me. Even if it's just extra work, even in this case, you can't talk about such untested methods in a serious way. Moreover, it was unthinkable to write anything about self-treatment, because it is not just a "mild psychological difficulty," but a deep depression and physiological problems.
In general, the book does not offer anything new but only introduces rather controversial interrelationships. Plus, the book is too emotional, I think, to the detriment of science.
July 29, 2019
4.5
อยากให้ศาสตร์นี้เป็นที่รู้จักเยอะๆในบ้านเรา
คาดว่าจะช่วยแก้ปัญหาด้านสาธารณสุขในเมืองไทยได้มากกว่าการใช้กัญชาเยอะกว่าเป็นไหนๆ แถมลดอาชญากรรม ลดรายจ่ายอื่นๆตามมา เพราะทุกอย่างเริ่มจากครอบครัวเสมอ
การศึกษาประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก (ACEs) คือการมองย้อนกลับมาดูที่ประวัติชีวิตในวัยเด็กของคนไข้ว่าเจออะไรมาบ้าง ที่บ้านเป็นยังไง เคยสูญเสียคนในครอบครัวไป มีคนในครอบครัวติดคุก เคยถูกคนในครอบครัวทำร้ายทั้งทางกาย และทางใจหรือไม่ (ซึ่งในเล่มจะมีแบบสอบถามมาให้ แล้วรวบรวมออกมาเป็นคะแนน) เคยถูกล่วงละเมิด โดนตบตี พ่อแม่ติดสุรา เป็นโรคซึมเศร้า อารมณ์แปรปรวนรึเปล่า จากการสำรวจที่ให้ข้อมูลออกมาพบว่าเด็กที่ถูกเลี้ยงดูโดยพ่อแม่ที่เป็นโรคซึมเศร้า หรือติดสุรานั้น จะเกิดผลกระทบค่อนข้างมาก เพราะเด็กเดาอารมณ์ไม่ถูก เดี๋ยวดีเดี๋ยวร้ายใส่ มีความไม่แน่นอน เด็กตั้งรับไม่ทัน (ประเด็นนี้ทราบจากการทดลองในหนูมาก่อน) สิ่งนี้ทำให้เกิดความเครียดกับเด็กจนนำมาสู่การอักเสบของเซลล์สมอง เมื่อนานวันเข้าการอักเสบของร่างกายที่สะสมมาเรื่อยๆนี้ จะนำมาสู่โรคต่างๆ เมื่อเติบโตเป็นผู้ใหญ่ เช่น เป็นโรคมะเร็งปอด ทั้งๆที่ไม่ได้สูบบุหรี่หรือทำตัวเสี่ยงมาก่อน เป็นต้น
นักวิทยาศาสตร์เริ่มสนใจประเด็น ACEs นี้เพราะ (ยกตัวอย่างนะ ...ในเล่มมีเคสและงานวิจัยที่หยิบมาอธิบายมากมายเหลือเกิน) ครั้งหนึ่งในคลาสบำบัดผู้ป่วยโรคอ้วน หมอพบว่า หลังจากรักษาคนไข้ไป ส่วนที่รักษาหายแล้วก็จบไป แต่มันจะมีคนไข้อีกส่วนนึงที่ตอนแรกก็ได้ผลนะ มีผอมลง แต่หลังจากนั้นคนไข้กลับมาอ้วนอีก เมื่อสอบถามประวัติว่าทำไมออกมาเป็นแบบนี้ ก็เริ่มเห็นความสอดคล้องกัน กับคนไข้เหล่านี้ คือ เมื่อยังเด็กพวกเขาเคยถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ นั่นจึงเป็นสาเหตุที่ว่าทำไมเขาจึงพยายามกินจนอ้วน หรือผอมเกินไป เพื่อไม่ให้ตัวเองดูดี หรือไม่ก็กินเพื่อระบายความทุกข์นั้นด้วย. เหล่านี้คือปัจจัยหนึ่งที่หมอค้นพบในตัวผู้ป่วยส่วนนึง ซึ่งมองข้ามไม่ได้
เพราะในอีกหลายๆเคสผู้ป่วยอื่นๆที่พบได้อยู่เรื่อยๆ มักจะมีโรคที่หาสาเหตุไม่ได้ โรคแพ้ภูมิตัวเอง* ไม่ก็รู้สาเหตุแหละแต่ไม่สามารถรักษาให้หายขาดได้ การศึกษา ACEs จึงมีความสำคัญในการนำมาร่วมใช้ในการวินิจฉ้ยโรคด้วย
มาถึงตรงนี้กลุ่มแพทย์ที่อเมริกาเลยเริ่มให้ความสำคัญละว่า
ควรมีการกรอกประวัติส่วนตัวของคนไข้ด้านอื่นๆ เข้ามาด้วย
เพื่อการวินิจฉัยที่ครอบคลุมมากขึ้น เพราะอาศัยแค่การตรวจจากสิ่งที่เห็นได้ด้วยตา (lab test,examination)อาจจะยังไม่เพียงพอ เหมือนๆกับยุคนึงที่หมอต้องมาถามถึงประวัติการมีเพศสัมพันธ์ของคนไข้เพื่อการตรวจโรคนั่นล่ะ ยุคนั้นหมอก็กระดากที่จะถามเพราะเป็นเรื่องส่วนตัว แต่มาปัจจุบันนี้ก็ถือว่าเป็นเรื่องปกติที่ต้องสอบถามก่อน
ส่วนอื่นๆในเล่มนี่มีอีกหลายประเด็นเลยที่น่าสนใจ
ไม่ว่าจะเป็น... ทำไมคนบางคนถึงเป็นทุกข์มากกว่าคนอื่น..
ทั้งๆที่เขาเหล่านั้นอาจจะเจอเรื่องเลวร้ายมาน้อยกว่าอีกคนนะ แต่ทำไมเขาจึงเป็นทุกข์มากกว่า
คำตอบคือ ยีน ที่เป็นตัวทำให้คนๆนั้นรู้สึกมากกว่าคนอื่น(เด็กอ่อนไหว) กลุ่มนี้ก็จะเสี่ยงเป็นโรคซึมเศร้าได้
แล้วก็ การรักษาโรคซึมเศร้านั้น ไม่ได้มีเพียงแค่การกินยานะ
ยังมีวิธีอื่นอีกหลายวิธี เช่นการปรับอาหารที่กิน (เรื่องนี้จะไปเชื่อมโยงลำไส้กับสมอง ซึ่งหนังสือแนวนี้เริ่มมีออกมาให้เห็นเช่น เล่ม gut ของผู้แปลเดียวกันกับเล่มนี้ และเล่ม follow your gut ตามรอยลำไส้) หรือจะเป็นการรักษาแบบนวดสัมผัสเพื่อปล่อยวางความเครียดที่แบกรับมานาน การเข้าเครื่องสแกนคลื่นไฟฟ้าสมอง ฯลฯ
ปล. ในเล่มให้ข้อมูลว่า ค่าใช้จ่ายรักษาคนไข้จากการหาสาเหตุไม่ได้ พอคิดรวบยอดออกมา เสียหายไปหลายดอล เค้าจึงให้ความสนใจ ACEs มากขึ้น
อยากให้ศาสตร์นี้เป็นที่รู้จักเยอะๆในบ้านเรา
คาดว่าจะช่วยแก้ปัญหาด้านสาธารณสุขในเมืองไทยได้มากกว่าการใช้กัญชาเยอะกว่าเป็นไหนๆ แถมลดอาชญากรรม ลดรายจ่ายอื่นๆตามมา เพราะทุกอย่างเริ่มจากครอบครัวเสมอ
การศึกษาประสบการณ์เลวร้ายในวัยเด็ก (ACEs) คือการมองย้อนกลับมาดูที่ประวัติชีวิตในวัยเด็กของคนไข้ว่าเจออะไรมาบ้าง ที่บ้านเป็นยังไง เคยสูญเสียคนในครอบครัวไป มีคนในครอบครัวติดคุก เคยถูกคนในครอบครัวทำร้ายทั้งทางกาย และทางใจหรือไม่ (ซึ่งในเล่มจะมีแบบสอบถามมาให้ แล้วรวบรวมออกมาเป็นคะแนน) เคยถูกล่วงละเมิด โดนตบตี พ่อแม่ติดสุรา เป็นโรคซึมเศร้า อารมณ์แปรปรวนรึเปล่า จากการสำรวจที่ให้ข้อมูลออกมาพบว่าเด็กที่ถูกเลี้ยงดูโดยพ่อแม่ที่เป็นโรคซึมเศร้า หรือติดสุรานั้น จะเกิดผลกระทบค่อนข้างมาก เพราะเด็กเดาอารมณ์ไม่ถูก เดี๋ยวดีเดี๋ยวร้ายใส่ มีความไม่แน่นอน เด็กตั้งรับไม่ทัน (ประเด็นนี้ทราบจากการทดลองในหนูมาก่อน) สิ่งนี้ทำให้เกิดความเครียดกับเด็กจนนำมาสู่การอักเสบของเซลล์สมอง เมื่อนานวันเข้าการอักเสบของร่างกายที่สะสมมาเรื่อยๆนี้ จะนำมาสู่โรคต่างๆ เมื่อเติบโตเป็นผู้ใหญ่ เช่น เป็นโรคมะเร็งปอด ทั้งๆที่ไม่ได้สูบบุหรี่หรือทำตัวเสี่ยงมาก่อน เป็นต้น
นักวิทยาศาสตร์เริ่มสนใจประเด็น ACEs นี้เพราะ (ยกตัวอย่างนะ ...ในเล่มมีเคสและงานวิจัยที่หยิบมาอธิบายมากมายเหลือเกิน) ครั้งหนึ่งในคลาสบำบัดผู้ป่วยโรคอ้วน หมอพบว่า หลังจากรักษาคนไข้ไป ส่วนที่รักษาหายแล้วก็จบไป แต่มันจะมีคนไข้อีกส่วนนึงที่ตอนแรกก็ได้ผลนะ มีผอมลง แต่หลังจากนั้นคนไข้กลับมาอ้วนอีก เมื่อสอบถามประวัติว่าทำไมออกมาเป็นแบบนี้ ก็เริ่มเห็นความสอดคล้องกัน กับคนไข้เหล่านี้ คือ เมื่อยังเด็กพวกเขาเคยถูกล่วงละเมิดทางเพศ นั่นจึงเป็นสาเหตุที่ว่าทำไมเขาจึงพยายามกินจนอ้วน หรือผอมเกินไป เพื่อไม่ให้ตัวเองดูดี หรือไม่ก็กินเพื่อระบายความทุกข์นั้นด้วย. เหล่านี้คือปัจจัยหนึ่งที่หมอค้นพบในตัวผู้ป่วยส่วนนึง ซึ่งมองข้ามไม่ได้
เพราะในอีกหลายๆเคสผู้ป่วยอื่นๆที่พบได้อยู่เรื่อยๆ มักจะมีโรคที่หาสาเหตุไม่ได้ โรคแพ้ภูมิตัวเอง* ไม่ก็รู้สาเหตุแหละแต่ไม่สามารถรักษาให้หายขาดได้ การศึกษา ACEs จึงมีความสำคัญในการนำมาร่วมใช้ในการวินิจฉ้ยโรคด้วย
มาถึงตรงนี้กลุ่มแพทย์ที่อเมริกาเลยเริ่มให้ความสำคัญละว่า
ควรมีการกรอกประวัติส่วนตัวของคนไข้ด้านอื่นๆ เข้ามาด้วย
เพื่อการวินิจฉัยที่ครอบคลุมมากขึ้น เพราะอาศัยแค่การตรวจจากสิ่งที่เห็นได้ด้วยตา (lab test,examination)อาจจะยังไม่เพียงพอ เหมือนๆกับยุคนึงที่หมอต้องมาถามถึงประวัติการมีเพศสัมพันธ์ของคนไข้เพื่อการตรวจโรคนั่นล่ะ ยุคนั้นหมอก็กระดากที่จะถามเพราะเป็นเรื่องส่วนตัว แต่มาปัจจุบันนี้ก็ถือว่าเป็นเรื่องปกติที่ต้องสอบถามก่อน
ส่วนอื่นๆในเล่มนี่มีอีกหลายประเด็นเลยที่น่าสนใจ
ไม่ว่าจะเป็น... ทำไมคนบางคนถึงเป็นทุกข์มากกว่าคนอื่น..
ทั้งๆที่เขาเหล่านั้นอาจจะเจอเรื่องเลวร้ายมาน้อยกว่าอีกคนนะ แต่ทำไมเขาจึงเป็นทุกข์มากกว่า
คำตอบคือ ยีน ที่เป็นตัวทำให้คนๆนั้นรู้สึกมากกว่าคนอื่น(เด็กอ่อนไหว) กลุ่มนี้ก็จะเสี่ยงเป็นโรคซึมเศร้าได้
แล้วก็ การรักษาโรคซึมเศร้านั้น ไม่ได้มีเพียงแค่การกินยานะ
ยังมีวิธีอื่นอีกหลายวิธี เช่นการปรับอาหารที่กิน (เรื่องนี้จะไปเชื่อมโยงลำไส้กับสมอง ซึ่งหนังสือแนวนี้เริ่มมีออกมาให้เห็นเช่น เล่ม gut ของผู้แปลเดียวกันกับเล่มนี้ และเล่ม follow your gut ตามรอยลำไส้) หรือจะเป็นการรักษาแบบนวดสัมผัสเพื่อปล่อยวางความเครียดที่แบกรับมานาน การเข้าเครื่องสแกนคลื่นไฟฟ้าสมอง ฯลฯ
ปล. ในเล่มให้ข้อมูลว่า ค่าใช้จ่ายรักษาคนไข้จากการหาสาเหตุไม่ได้ พอคิดรวบยอดออกมา เสียหายไปหลายดอล เค้าจึงให้ความสนใจ ACEs มากขึ้น
January 31, 2021
ใช้เวลาอ่านนานทีเดียวสำหรับเล่มนี้ เพราะเป็นช่วงเวลาที่ยุ่งยากในชีวิตเราพอดี ประจวบกับ 'เกินกว่าเจ็บปวด' เปิดแผลวัยเด็กของเราออกจึงต้องค่อย ๆ ละเลียดอ่าน ทำความเข้าใจไปทีละน้อย
ส่วนที่ชอบมาก ๆ คือ นอกจากจะอธิบายสาเหตุเชื่อมโยงของอาการ/โรคในปัจจุบันของผู้ใหญ่จากประสบการณ์อันจ็บปวดในวัยเด็กแล้ว บทท้ายๆ ยังบอกถึงวิธีแก้ไขให้ดีขึ้นอีกด้วย
- เหมาะมากสำหรับมนุษย์เจ้าปัญหาแบบเราและมนุษย์พ่อ/แม่ ที่ต้องการเลี้ยงลูกให้เติบโตอย่างเป็นสุข-
ส่วนที่ชอบมาก ๆ คือ นอกจากจะอธิบายสาเหตุเชื่อมโยงของอาการ/โรคในปัจจุบันของผู้ใหญ่จากประสบการณ์อันจ็บปวดในวัยเด็กแล้ว บทท้ายๆ ยังบอกถึงวิธีแก้ไขให้ดีขึ้นอีกด้วย
- เหมาะมากสำหรับมนุษย์เจ้าปัญหาแบบเราและมนุษย์พ่อ/แม่ ที่ต้องการเลี้ยงลูกให้เติบโตอย่างเป็นสุข-
April 16, 2026
*Read for data collection*
Really the same way I feel about most self help- Sensationalized, overly metaphorical, junk science, so many anecdotes. So many oversimplifications. So much cherry picking and piecing together of quotes. Peppered with SO MANY grammatical errors. Who edited this?
Really the same way I feel about most self help- Sensationalized, overly metaphorical, junk science, so many anecdotes. So many oversimplifications. So much cherry picking and piecing together of quotes. Peppered with SO MANY grammatical errors. Who edited this?
August 18, 2024
Гугл-перекладач впорався лише на одну зірочку😔
Переклад жахливий, хоч сам зміст місцями корисний🙄
Переклад жахливий, хоч сам зміст місцями корисний🙄
July 11, 2019
This is an OK book, although it is generally true that CPTSD can have a negative effect on your biology but not the extent that the author claims.
She starts by throwing a lot of scary statistics at you right at the beginning, She talks about how childhood trauma or more technically CPSTD can affect your well being when you are an adult. She tries to back up the claims with a mixture of stories and (mostly) false correlation. The problem is lots of these data are just STATISTICS, and contrary to the author believes not actual facts or causation! a lot of variables can affect the end result of research especially the choice of the population. Different sets can result in a completely opposite outcome and some of the research might be biased toward a specific race or culture (and I couldn't find different independent studies on the subjects).
I do not recommend reading it as your first book on the subject especially if you are currently dealing with the effects of your childhood trauma, because I kinda feel the book leaves you hopeless with all the harsh claims about how your life span is shortened by 20 years or you are at risk of these diseases by 300%, especially because CPSTD survivors tend to attach more to the negative parts.
I recommend reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, as it has a compassionate and detailed explanation of why (biologically and emotionally) survivors of CPTSD develop certain behaviors and it's actually based on almost a lifetime of listening and experimenting with patients of PTSD and CPTSD.
She starts by throwing a lot of scary statistics at you right at the beginning, She talks about how childhood trauma or more technically CPSTD can affect your well being when you are an adult. She tries to back up the claims with a mixture of stories and (mostly) false correlation. The problem is lots of these data are just STATISTICS, and contrary to the author believes not actual facts or causation! a lot of variables can affect the end result of research especially the choice of the population. Different sets can result in a completely opposite outcome and some of the research might be biased toward a specific race or culture (and I couldn't find different independent studies on the subjects).
I do not recommend reading it as your first book on the subject especially if you are currently dealing with the effects of your childhood trauma, because I kinda feel the book leaves you hopeless with all the harsh claims about how your life span is shortened by 20 years or you are at risk of these diseases by 300%, especially because CPSTD survivors tend to attach more to the negative parts.
I recommend reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, as it has a compassionate and detailed explanation of why (biologically and emotionally) survivors of CPTSD develop certain behaviors and it's actually based on almost a lifetime of listening and experimenting with patients of PTSD and CPTSD.
March 8, 2020
We are in the midst of a revolution in understanding the role of chronic stress in the origins of physical and mental illness and addiction. The ACE (adverse childhood events) studies have provided a mountain of evidence that the circumstances of our early childhood correlate powerfully with our state of mental and physical wellbeing or illness. Nakazawa uses her journalistic skills and her own life story to illustrate the ties between early life events and physical illness and the pathway to true healing and resolution. The individuals she follows relate their personal narratives of hardship and how this lead to deteriorating health, and most inspirationally she follows their journey to come to terms with their personal circumstances and heal through journalling, art, meditation, therapy and body work. We need no longer see chronic physical and mental illness as something to be managed with medication and lived with. It is time to open our minds to the possibility of deep personal growth and healing. We are still very early into integrating the implications of the new science of developmental chronic stress and Nakazawa's work does an honourable job of pointing the way forward.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 338 reviews