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The Secret to Not Drowning
How did a girl who dreamed of being a Charlie's Angel become such a cowed and submissive woman? On the surface Marion's life seems fine, but she is controlled and bullied by her husband; her only 'freedom' is a weekly visit to the swimming baths. When a chance meeting with an old school-mate develops into a secret friendship, Marion is reminded of the person she used to be. And might still be, if she leaves her domineering husband. But is it too late?
- GenresFictionLiterary Fiction
239 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2015
11 people are currently reading
153 people want to read
About the author
Colette Snowden
4 books17 followersA writer since I was old enough to talk, I have dabbled with performance poetry and short stories before setting to work on my first novel, The Secret to Not Drowning.
My short story, 'Blue' was featured on radio 4 in 2002 and I then stopped writing for several years, focusing on raising my children.
I continued to write for a day job during this time, with feature articles and news stories for trade and technical magazines.
I am now working on a second novel - no title yet and, as with The Secret to Not Drowning, a writing process that involves finding out how it's all going to come together as I'm writing it!
My short story, 'Blue' was featured on radio 4 in 2002 and I then stopped writing for several years, focusing on raising my children.
I continued to write for a day job during this time, with feature articles and news stories for trade and technical magazines.
I am now working on a second novel - no title yet and, as with The Secret to Not Drowning, a writing process that involves finding out how it's all going to come together as I'm writing it!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
February 15, 2017
This is an absolutely cracking read. I'm supposed to be working, but I've just spent the last half hour glued to my kindle because I couldn't put it down.
It's the story of Marion - a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage with a bullying controlling husband. The psychological abuse is well-written and believable - as is Marion's self-justification of it. Highly recommended.
It's the story of Marion - a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage with a bullying controlling husband. The psychological abuse is well-written and believable - as is Marion's self-justification of it. Highly recommended.
November 20, 2020
This book started with one of the most intriguing sentences to a book opening that I have read in a while: 'There are four people in the room and only one of them is me'. I paused when I read it, tried to contextualise it and realised that I couldn't. It was only when I got to the end of the book that I realised the power of that first sentence.
There is a cold familiarity to Marion's story, that of being trapped in an abusive relationship, afraid to be herself, afraid to upset the fragile equilibrium of a marriage mired in controlling behaviour, but most of all, afraid to be herself. So afraid is Marion of being herself, that we never really get to know her as well as we would like. She is always holding something of herself back. She is always 'fine', even though, with the privilege of the reader, we know that she is not. I also thought the namelessness of her husband, referred to only by the capitalised pronouns of He and Him, so that we see that he has become to her almost a feared God, was particularly disturbing.
There is some really clever tension building in the writing, with the rhythm and subtle repetitions of certain sentences echoing the monotony and loneliness of Marion's life - 'I want to lie down and sleep for a hundred years'. Her unhappiness stretches across the page as her wish to settle into the oblivion of sleep lengthens in time.
However, the book, for me, lost some of its power as it progressed. There were times when I had to walk away from the book, so unbearable was the tension. When her husband discovers that she had lied to him, I expected the fall out to be worse than what it was. Julie's own emotional issues were also somewhat overplayed and diminished the friendship story that had been building between the two women.
One annoyance, which I really struggle to understand, and didn't feel right for me given how the dog became a gateway for Marion to communicate with others, is how Marion could then leave her dog with her husband. That, and the somewhat abrupt ending, lessened the impact of the book for me somewhat.
Yet even in spite of this, The Secret to not Drowning was a powerful read. Marion's story is one that many women will be able to relate to. It is the story of her journey as she tries to find herself, lost somewhere in the misery of her marriage. I think, as you read her story, you are willing her to leave. When you care about a character that much, you know you are reading a good book.
There is a cold familiarity to Marion's story, that of being trapped in an abusive relationship, afraid to be herself, afraid to upset the fragile equilibrium of a marriage mired in controlling behaviour, but most of all, afraid to be herself. So afraid is Marion of being herself, that we never really get to know her as well as we would like. She is always holding something of herself back. She is always 'fine', even though, with the privilege of the reader, we know that she is not. I also thought the namelessness of her husband, referred to only by the capitalised pronouns of He and Him, so that we see that he has become to her almost a feared God, was particularly disturbing.
There is some really clever tension building in the writing, with the rhythm and subtle repetitions of certain sentences echoing the monotony and loneliness of Marion's life - 'I want to lie down and sleep for a hundred years'. Her unhappiness stretches across the page as her wish to settle into the oblivion of sleep lengthens in time.
However, the book, for me, lost some of its power as it progressed. There were times when I had to walk away from the book, so unbearable was the tension. When her husband discovers that she had lied to him, I expected the fall out to be worse than what it was. Julie's own emotional issues were also somewhat overplayed and diminished the friendship story that had been building between the two women.
One annoyance, which I really struggle to understand, and didn't feel right for me given how the dog became a gateway for Marion to communicate with others, is how Marion could then leave her dog with her husband. That, and the somewhat abrupt ending, lessened the impact of the book for me somewhat.
Yet even in spite of this, The Secret to not Drowning was a powerful read. Marion's story is one that many women will be able to relate to. It is the story of her journey as she tries to find herself, lost somewhere in the misery of her marriage. I think, as you read her story, you are willing her to leave. When you care about a character that much, you know you are reading a good book.
August 7, 2015
(Full disclosure - I am a friend of the author.) I bought this as soon as I could from my local bookshop, and wasn't disappointed. A melancholy story at times, it is beautifully written and honest, with strong voices and excellent characterisation. I won't say more for fear of spoiling anyone's pleasure!
November 28, 2017
I had forgotten I downloaded this one, and found it on my Kindle right before I boarded a plane back home after Thanksgiving. Didn't put it down until the plane landed. It sucked me into this woman's life, and all the fear, exhaustion, paranoia and anxiety that comes from being in an emotionally abusive relationship was so vividly drawn.
September 8, 2020
What a great book. The story of a woman stuck inside an abusive relationship. Wonderfully written. Loved it. Another brilliant book published by Blue moose, who are just so consistently great. Highly recommended.
June 22, 2019
Read this straight through in an afternoon as I was immediately drawn to Marion and wanted to find out whether she got out of the abusive relationship or not. The author has an amazingly light touch for a distressing subject, it was as if Marion was detached from her situation and looking at it from an outside point of view. That was effective as it added credence to why she would stay with Him (her husband) as the way she'd coped was to detach herself from the reality of her life. It also stopped the book descending into misery porn, and felt realistic - not all abuse is physical, and the little controls and rules that "He" imposed over the years wore Marion down at the same time as it seemed to give her security or comfort (her mother was also controlling so there's a complicated relationship with familiarity / comfort /nurturing). The development of Marion's female friendships, and her gradual confidence in starting to make the usual day to day contact with people, were uplifting. I wasn't sure about the asides relating to the husband's affairs, felt like superfluous padding and wasn't sure if they were just in Marion's imagination, and if so, why?
August 1, 2018
This is one those novels that you never want to end. I must express that Colette is a bold marvellous writer. I give full admiration for the incredible attention to the smallest detail.
This is a story within a selfish husband that only looks out for himself. Colette Snowden makes this story come alive through her words.
Marion once dreamed of being a Charlie's Angel. On the surface Marion's friends and family think her life seems fine, but she is controlled and bullied by her husband. He made Marion eat every single flower and sat there watching her chew the flowers.
The torment is so touching that some of the readers will be able to identify what Marion's husband savagely put Marion through.
With Marion meeting up with an old school-friend she is reminded of the person she used be.
But will Marion find the strength in her self to pack her bags and leave her bullying husband?
I REALLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE SECRET TO NOT DROWNING BY COLETTE SNOWDEN
October 10, 2016
I loved it. This book is very well written. It touches upon such a sensitive topic in such a masterful way that I found myself constantly preparing psychologically for the absolute worse possible nightmare to unfold. I don't think I've ever felt this way while reading a novel and I absolutely enjoyed it, even the stress! An author that manages to make us feel this way is definitely a very talented one. I look forward to her next novel!
January 3, 2016
This book had lots of promise, I cared deeply about Marion and read enthusiastically. However, I was let down by the end - it just wasn't what I was hoping for and left me feeling like I'd lost the last chapters and the story was unresolved
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 27, 2016
The best new book i've read in years. Utterly brilliant.
April 5, 2019
Very poor ending, such a shame as build up promised more.
October 13, 2021
About 📜:
Marion, the once clever and courageous girl who always dreamed of being a Charlie’s Angel somehow becomes a coward and submissive woman. She fell into her domineering husband's spells who controls and bullies her any chance he got. She finds freedom in swimming by drowning herself in her thoughts. When she encounters an old friend, she is reminded of the person she used to be. And might still be.
Comments 💬:
The story was painful to read in the beginning. I was not ready for some tormenting part. It breaks my heart to read that Marion was suffering but so silent about it. Most of the time I felt like she was a student on probation while living with her headmaster. It terrifies me more when she names her husband as ‘He’ as if he is some God to her. I believe it was a symbol of fear.
However, the story got less tormenting after some chapters. But still, it sounds manipulative. I don’t know how to label the type of abuse she experienced as it could be physical and psychological abuse at the same time. There are times her nameless husband appears to be a caring and loving one but there are also times when he appears to be a bully.
The reason for my rating is I don’t seem to like the writing style. It sounds like Marion was telling her story to a friend with unstructured sentences with all the I’s. But I’m not a good judge of that. There must have been a reason for that writing style. It bores me after some chapters.
The other thing is I don’t understand the description of her husband’s affairs. It seems to me that her husband always targets vulnerable woman that somehow sounds similar to Marion herself. I wonder if it’s all just her imagination due to her husband’s nonchalant and cautious behaviour. Or was it some reason to reveal her husband’s wrongdoings so that she can get rid of him easily?
Nevertheless, I am glad that she’s able to get herself out of the destructive marriage although I find the ending was abrupt. Because she knows at the end their marriage is never going to change.
Marion, the once clever and courageous girl who always dreamed of being a Charlie’s Angel somehow becomes a coward and submissive woman. She fell into her domineering husband's spells who controls and bullies her any chance he got. She finds freedom in swimming by drowning herself in her thoughts. When she encounters an old friend, she is reminded of the person she used to be. And might still be.
Comments 💬:
The story was painful to read in the beginning. I was not ready for some tormenting part. It breaks my heart to read that Marion was suffering but so silent about it. Most of the time I felt like she was a student on probation while living with her headmaster. It terrifies me more when she names her husband as ‘He’ as if he is some God to her. I believe it was a symbol of fear.
However, the story got less tormenting after some chapters. But still, it sounds manipulative. I don’t know how to label the type of abuse she experienced as it could be physical and psychological abuse at the same time. There are times her nameless husband appears to be a caring and loving one but there are also times when he appears to be a bully.
The reason for my rating is I don’t seem to like the writing style. It sounds like Marion was telling her story to a friend with unstructured sentences with all the I’s. But I’m not a good judge of that. There must have been a reason for that writing style. It bores me after some chapters.
The other thing is I don’t understand the description of her husband’s affairs. It seems to me that her husband always targets vulnerable woman that somehow sounds similar to Marion herself. I wonder if it’s all just her imagination due to her husband’s nonchalant and cautious behaviour. Or was it some reason to reveal her husband’s wrongdoings so that she can get rid of him easily?
Nevertheless, I am glad that she’s able to get herself out of the destructive marriage although I find the ending was abrupt. Because she knows at the end their marriage is never going to change.
August 25, 2022
This is Book 19 of my 20 Books of Summer 2022
Some books just stop you in your track with their subject and intensity - and that is exactly what this one did to me! I couldn't focus on anything else while reading it and felt so many emotions (mostly outrage and deep anger!) at the plight of Marion.
From the stark opening of the agony of losing a baby, to the terrors she felt on a daily basis under the control of her husband, there is an immediate connection as a reader to Marion. She keeps it together on the outside, but her inner thoughts give way to that fear of doing the wrong thing, upsetting the status quo, or even him just waking up on the wrong side of the bed to attack and belittle her - while he puts on the show of being the perfect husband ... well, he does buy her flowers every week so that makes him a keeper eh...... he is an absolute a***hole and one of those narcissistic characters that make everything about him... no matter what.
She finds peace and sanctity at the local swimming pool, it gives her freedom and a chance to think back over how she used to be. And then a meeting with an old schoolfriend is another way she can start to find herself again, remembering the girl/woman she used to be before being controlled. She finds it very easy to give advice to others but never so easy to follow her own advice.
This was a shocking read at times, the level of psychological abuse from him was just next level nastiness, and I found myself just willing her to take back that control and find a way out.
It had that gripping feeling of claustrophobia as she was terrified of upsetting him, and wondering when will he next explode, and as a reader you find yourself holding your breath as you read waiting to see just how cruel he will be next.... and will that be the time she finds herself. A brilliant read - highly recommended.
Some books just stop you in your track with their subject and intensity - and that is exactly what this one did to me! I couldn't focus on anything else while reading it and felt so many emotions (mostly outrage and deep anger!) at the plight of Marion.
From the stark opening of the agony of losing a baby, to the terrors she felt on a daily basis under the control of her husband, there is an immediate connection as a reader to Marion. She keeps it together on the outside, but her inner thoughts give way to that fear of doing the wrong thing, upsetting the status quo, or even him just waking up on the wrong side of the bed to attack and belittle her - while he puts on the show of being the perfect husband ... well, he does buy her flowers every week so that makes him a keeper eh...... he is an absolute a***hole and one of those narcissistic characters that make everything about him... no matter what.
She finds peace and sanctity at the local swimming pool, it gives her freedom and a chance to think back over how she used to be. And then a meeting with an old schoolfriend is another way she can start to find herself again, remembering the girl/woman she used to be before being controlled. She finds it very easy to give advice to others but never so easy to follow her own advice.
This was a shocking read at times, the level of psychological abuse from him was just next level nastiness, and I found myself just willing her to take back that control and find a way out.
It had that gripping feeling of claustrophobia as she was terrified of upsetting him, and wondering when will he next explode, and as a reader you find yourself holding your breath as you read waiting to see just how cruel he will be next.... and will that be the time she finds herself. A brilliant read - highly recommended.
May 31, 2021
This book gripped me from the outset. Marion is questioning what is going on in her life, alongside the reader trying to cement an image of what's going on, and it works well. The reader quickly understands that Marion's questioning goes beyond the medical procedure she's about to have and extends to her life in general and the only bright spot being the opportunity to swim in the atmospheric vacuum of her local swimming pools alongside complete strangers. What could possibly have gone so wrong for a quirky, strong-willed girl. Importantly too, is there a way out of this situation and is she brave enough to make changes to her life.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and tore through it, championing Marion and the initially tentative friendship that she re-kindles with the weird girl, Julie, who her mum forced her to befriend at school. When another colleague moves desks and forces herself on Marion she's wary, but something changes. A flower begins to bud within.
No spoilers here, you'll just have to read it for yourself, and I hope you will.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and tore through it, championing Marion and the initially tentative friendship that she re-kindles with the weird girl, Julie, who her mum forced her to befriend at school. When another colleague moves desks and forces herself on Marion she's wary, but something changes. A flower begins to bud within.
No spoilers here, you'll just have to read it for yourself, and I hope you will.
December 18, 2022
"If you knew you were going to drown this time next year, what would you do to change between now and then?"
I think I picked this book at the right time. Just when my life gets too messy and incomprehensible even to me, what not the people around me. It feels reassuring and somehow safe reading this as it feels less lonely because someone else feels exactly like me. It's resonating and that's the power of the fiction world when you can relate to the characters. and the characters did too.
I think I picked this book at the right time. Just when my life gets too messy and incomprehensible even to me, what not the people around me. It feels reassuring and somehow safe reading this as it feels less lonely because someone else feels exactly like me. It's resonating and that's the power of the fiction world when you can relate to the characters. and the characters did too.
February 26, 2025
I really enjoyed the way this book started, and the way it finished! Lots of clever writing in this when you really start to think about it.
The middle was slightly more bland, and although I understand the one sided narration behind Marion’s story, it would’ve been nice to hear more from her ‘friends’.
Loved that we never learned ‘his’ name too, that was clever.
I also am very sad that she didn’t take the dog with her in the end. He doesn’t deserve ‘Him’.
The middle was slightly more bland, and although I understand the one sided narration behind Marion’s story, it would’ve been nice to hear more from her ‘friends’.
Loved that we never learned ‘his’ name too, that was clever.
I also am very sad that she didn’t take the dog with her in the end. He doesn’t deserve ‘Him’.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 4, 2017
3.5 stars. I don't know why but I really liked the main character in this book and I liked all the nice and supportive minor characters along the way. I could have done without all the side stories about her husband's affairs. The ending wasn't very believable but super satisfying at the same time. (Read Harder Challenge: read a book published by a micropress--Bluemoose Books)
December 19, 2017
Superbly written and psychology absolutely convincing. But a gruelling read. Unrelenting. I found the strange side stories about the husband's imagined affairs a distraction, and I found some of the repeated-for-emphasis statements annoying.
I will be keen to read her next novel.
I will be keen to read her next novel.
January 15, 2022
I really enjoyed this. It's a difficult subject to write about but I think Colette Snowden does an excellent job and you really root for Marion. A really good read and I'm definitely going to read her other stuff. Highly recommended.
November 2, 2024
A predictable set of characters who never seem to quite do what you expect them to, or at least not in the ways you think. Snowden provides an insight into a small corner of the world and brings characters that capture and intrigue.
June 4, 2020
Absolutely loved this book - superb writing and editing. Very tense reading it, worried what might happen. Would really recommend.
April 24, 2021
An excellent read, well written, unpredictable & tense in a cleverly understated way.
June 18, 2021
Lovely, interesting, heartwarming
Loved the characters, especially the protagonist. Colette Snowden knows exactly how to draw you in and keep you hooked. A cracking story
Loved the characters, especially the protagonist. Colette Snowden knows exactly how to draw you in and keep you hooked. A cracking story
October 20, 2021
The pages kept turning, but increasingly I didn't buy the narrator as an emotionally abused woman - or her escape from her situation.
October 10, 2022
A slow burn insight into 'low level' highly damaging coercive control. Well written.
November 22, 2025
An accurate book depicting an abusive coercive relationship, a harrowing read, but I think everyone should read it.
August 29, 2021
love it so much
July 28, 2016
To say this was beautifully written would be a bit of an understatement. Colette Snowden certainly has got the knack of writing quiet, understated terrifying scenes. I really can't remember reading anything quite so shocking as the pink gerberas for a long time - it just sucker-punched me.
I liked the way that Snowden didn't give the husband a name (if she did I missed it) - I wasn't quite sure of the capitalisation of "He" - was it that "He" was the name Marion gave him? That He was a sort of God-like figure - all seeing and to be worshipped? That by not giving him a name somehow made him, rather than Marion, worthless? Maybe He just didn't need a name - just another faceless bully and abuser? Whatever the reason, and maybe I am just overthinking it, I despised Him.
I understood the reasons Marion didn't leave, I 'got' the sense of the eggshells she was constantly afraid of breaking. The sheer terror that, even though she had plenty of opportunities, she never did just pack up and leave. Tell a person they're stupid enough times and that's what they become.
The clever use of the repetition by Marion served to highlight her insecurities and doubts about their relationship. The belief that something is rotten at the core, yet the ability only to acknowledge it in private. The constant questioning that she did trying to assure herself that she wasn't mad, that she knew the truth despite what he said to her.
Her fear of Him that meant she always had to be on her best behaviour, even when people like Mandy and Julie saw straight through the charm to the devil underneath. It was all utterly real and disturbing.
I did like Marion; she seemed like someone I could get on with, especially if cakes were on offer! She had a quick wit and seemed interested in others, which I admired. (Did I mention the cake?!)
I admit to voraciously finishing ''The Secret to not Drowning'' in a day; I honestly couldn't put it down - or even if I could I didn't want to. The emotional abuse she was subjected to seemed all too real for me just to abandon it without knowing what happened in the end.
It's an exquisite book. Needless to say I enjoyed it and I would heartily recommend it. Stunning!
February 6, 2017
An intimate portrait of a woman in crisis. We meet Marion at a point in her life where, in her mid-thirties, she is completely in her husband’s grip. After years of his control and casual cruelty, her lack of self-belief hits rock bottom as she accepts the baby she was carrying has died because nobody would want to live with her. But despite the buffeting of marital abuse and miscarriage, Marion’s personality is not entirely extinguished and over the course of the novel she seeks to retrieve the girl who once wanted to be a Charlie’s Angel.
The writer creates a close empathy with the protagonist. At times dark, more often humorous, always beautifully written and with finely drawn characters, this is a book that shows the strength of the human spirit.
The writer creates a close empathy with the protagonist. At times dark, more often humorous, always beautifully written and with finely drawn characters, this is a book that shows the strength of the human spirit.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews