Knuckle Dragger: Offbeat Tales from a Life on the Doors

by Scott Taylor

What would you do if you caught your man-sausage in your zipper at work, then had to race to the hospital where a sleep deprived, homeless looking doctor tried putting it back together with what looks like fishing trawler rope? Or what about having someone try to ram a full twelve inch, burning hot pizza up your nose while you’re driving a car at speed?

Maybe you too have suffered an unsolicited winky appearing into your toilet stall while you go ‘boom boom’, and then had to batter it away with the nearest heavy blunt instrument you could find. Or perhaps you’ve watched a bored Highlander tear apart a designer sofa with a chainsaw in the middle of an executive charity ball evening?

If not, then this collection of tales from over 23 years of working as a club and bar bouncer could tickle your proverbial fancy. Join Scott Taylor as he shines a light on the funnier side of the late night industry and his life around it, and brings you a collection of stories that are sure to either bring a smile to your miserable face, or at the very least bring back up your cheap supermarket lunch all over your stupid designer skinny fit t-shirt.

268 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 7, 2015

Reviews

[Georgina Penney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, so the wonderful Dean Mayes put me onto this book and I'm happy he did. Until I started reading I had no idea that the author lives in or near Aberdeen where I recently moved so it was pretty fascinating to get some insight into the nightlife here, which I usually only see the results of being washed off the pavement first thing on Sunday morning;)

What to say? Well firstly Scott Taylor is a cracking story teller. The entire book feels like you're sitting in a pub, slightly tonkered on your fifth pint listening to a mate tell tales. And of course since you're in a pub and 3 sheets to the wind, the tales are going to be so blue they need their own Pantone colour classification. Think some decent poo, spew, arse and genitalia jokes and you're right there with me. And since I'm a lady who just happens to have a filthy sense of humour, on the whole I enjoyed the book a lot. And while there were one or two tales that had me turning a little green, I know full well they would have a lot of blokes I know laughing their heads off.

However, I've got to say, jokes aside, my favourite bits were when Taylor gives you a bit of an insight into himself and the everyday reality behind the light-heartedness. It provided a great contrast with the rest. I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone who has read Don't Tell Mum I Work On The Rigs: She Thinks I'm A Piano Player In A Whorehouse. It had the same kind of feel, give or take the industry.

So, if you're looking for a serious, Chopper Reid style hard ass book about how many people this guy has taken out the back and pummeled or if you're looking for pathos soaked literature this isn't the book for you. If you're looking for a bunch of blue tales about boozy Scottish shenanigans and bloke humour told in a romping charismatic style. This might just be what you're looking for.

[Ian McNeice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious

One of the funniest books I've ever read. Not your usual doorman "love me, I'm awesome" books, but funny, often self deprecating stories that had me laughing til I cried at times. Brilliant.

[Roger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another review described this book as like listening to a pal tell stories over a few beers and that sounds about right. This is in no way a bad thing, as Mr Taylor is a cracking storyteller and has a fine turn of phrase, so get the pints in, sit back and enjoy..

[lorna spink · Rating 5 out of 5]

fairly made me laugh

Easy to read
Made me laugh properly out loud at times a lighthearted way to look at life and Aberdeen

[Thephraze · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a hilarious read this is, great humour a simple must read. please read it and you wont be disappointed unless you are easily offended