Sun Tzu Was a Sissy: Conquer Your Enemies, Promote Your Friends, and Wage the Real Art of War

by Stanley Bing

We live in a vicious, highly competitive workplace environment, and things aren't getting any better. Jobs are few and far between, and people aren't any nicer now than they were when Ghengis Khan ran around in big furs killing people in unfriendly acquisitions. For thousands of years, people have been reading the writings of the deeply wise, but also extremely dead Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu, who was perhaps the first to look on the waging of war as a strategic art that could be taught to people who wished to be warlords and other kinds of senior managers. In a nutshell, Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey, a fact that has not been recognized by the bloated, tree-hugging Sun Tzu industry, which churns out mushy-gushy pseudo-philosophy for business school types who want to make war and keep their hands clean. Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends, if possible. All military strategies will be explored, from mustering, equipping, organizing, plotting, scheming, rampaging, squashing and reaping spoils. Every other book on the Art of War bows low to Sun Tzu. We're going to tell him to get lost and inform our readers how real war is currently conducted on the battlefield of life.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Humor, Philosophy, Leadership

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Gil Schwartz, known by his pen name Stanley Bing, was an American business humorist and novelist. He wrote a column for Fortune magazine for more than twenty years after a decade at Esquire magazine. He was the author of thirteen books, including What Would Machiavelli Do? and The Curriculum, a satirical textbook for a business school that also offers lessons on the web. Schwartz was senior executive vice president of corporate communications and Chief Communications Officer for CBS.

Reviews

[Mizuki · Rating 3 out of 5]

I DNF-ed at around page 112, the sense of humour is good and some of the ideas seem nice, but I got tired in the middle point 😂

[Brock · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'll take the real "Art of War" over this.

[Ashmita Shanthakumar · Rating 1 out of 5]

Have I read worse books in my life? Probably. But right now, none come to mind.

Read this as side reading for a management class and not worth it! Thought the title was funny and intriguing which is why I picked it up off the list.

The book has some (minor) advice that could easily be found in another management book, not worth parsing through the toxic masculine writing and off-putting humor.

Even if that style of humor appeals to you, this book is not useful enough to necessitate a read.

[Steve Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

Please note that my reviews aren't really review, they are more like my cliff notes that I take while reading books.

this book was a silly waste of time. Luckily it was a quick read


He's a Silly satirist.
Funny how much he mentions Trump given the book was written in 2006 (The Apprentice started in 2004).
Ditto Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson

The worst things are done not by the people who think they are doing wrong but by those who think they walk with the hand of god on one shoulder (think terrorist, crusades, etc.)

Watch out for short men. Short men as he defines them are people who have to look up to look down are extraordinarily powerful adversaries. They have been fighting their height their entire lives. The ones who have conquered that psychological impediment can run roughshod over just about anybody.

Take good care of assistants, workers formerly known as secretaries, cuz they know too much and can work together to bring you down..

Fat, short, and tall people are dangerous and must be watched with great care

There are lots of slots for people who are too sensitive, thoughtful and non-violent and insufficiently enamored with their own destiny to be warriors. You can be one of those. The rest of you start arranging the moving parts to maximize your chances of success

Makes an argument that deception = lies and once you form the habit it's hard to break, not just with enemies but with friends

Transformation is the opposite of rigidity. Rigid/predictable people are easy to defeat. Practice variety and changing habits….

Life is war and there will never be an end to the latter so you are pretty much done with the former.

Have fun every day and be fun to have war with.

Drinking is not a long term solution to society. That’s why it needs to be done every day.

Many high powered corporate soldiers enjoy coaching their kids' team, bringing horrible values, ill temper and sportsmanship to a new generation

[James Gingerich · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining read that I hope was designed to be humorous. I'd hate to think that corporate America is such a ruthless battleground. Oddly enough however I recognized a few of tactics Bing outlines have actually been implemented by others at my place of work. I've become much more aware as a result of this read. I've also had quite a few good laughs. Thanks Stan!

James Gingerich
Sr Partner Account Manager
Sybase iAnywhere

http://softwaresalespersoneducation.b...

[Tim Weakley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as funny as I had hoped. I laughed in a few places, and I found that the book read true based on my limited experience with this level of the business world. There was enough meat in the book to discuss with allies in the workplace.

[Mela Lozano · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book should be the mantra to every day living. Stanely Bing offers insightful humor on how to survive and indeed conquer the workforce. Behind all the analogies and humor, this book is a perfect 101 guide to not giving a sh*t about the unnecessary things to life.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

mandatory bidness reading.

all i am, bidness-wise, i owe to Bing!

[Stacy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If he was joking he wasn't very funny, and if he wasn't joking he's probably miserable to work with. Either way, I get enough of that at work...

[Nietzer · Rating 1 out of 5]

The reading did not flow, I got bored several times and have to put it away and take it back later. no my kind of humor, not my kind of book.

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book felt like a parody of itself, but not in a “so bad it’s good” way. This is more “so bad it’s surpassed bad-but-good and is full-on cringe.”

[Adriana Miron · Rating 1 out of 5]

Foarte putin folositoare, ba chiar enervanta ! As citi Arta Razboiului in defavoarea acestei carti oricand... Egoismul si ranchiuna nu sunt folositoare in niciun domeniu ! Cartea cu toate ca are 200 de pagini ar putea fi rezumata foarte usor in 10 pagini.

[Juanita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review: Sue Tzu Was A Sissy by Stanley Bing.

I guess this book could be taken as humorous or appalling or perhaps a little of both. Bing uses the business sector as his prodigy messenger to unleash his comments and opinions into a military style context. I know it 19s supposed to be humorous and a lot of it was but was it done properly. There were chapters on the adversarial qualities of short and tall people and fat and skinny people among other issues although like all humor, someone somewhere will take offence. I 19m one who doesn 19t take offence but you never know 26.

Stanley Bing supplied plenty of puns and dark humor scattered throughout the book. I believe anyone taking this book, attempting to use some of the context for strategy in their business might want to think twice. If you have acquaintances and happy co-workers you might have just shone them the door 26..

I feel this book was written for the intent of pleasure and some serious fun poked at modern business methods with an occasional jab by a justified prod straight to anyone who 19s trying to achieve climbing the ladder to the top. I guess anyone can say it was written in a moment of harmony to be read by all walks of adventure 26.. Life is a battle 26..

[Steve · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dated and cute, but not worth a read.

[Isman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The rating only applies to the English version of the book. I'm not eligible to rate the Indonesian version because I'm the translator. It'd be like raving about my own nephew. But I'd like to hear what you think.

[Shane Knysh · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am sure there are a ton of people who will like this book because of the wit of Mr. Bing. Other will love this book because of the modernization of the 13 chapters of the Art of War. I am just not to be counted in either group.

[Tommy · Rating 3 out of 5]

pretty fun read I keep it at my desk at work :)

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

well - it was alright - but glad i got it from the library and didn't actually buy it. just went on too much - i kind of got the idea - quickly - and it never moved from there.

[Cario Lam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I a word, "hilarious". Written by one of my favorite columnists.

[Mike · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't care for it.

[Habiba Shahbaz cheema · Rating 1 out of 5]

worst read

[Miguel Pais · Rating 4 out of 5]

A clever book redirecting the teachings of Sun Tzu in his classical piece on warfare "The Art of War" and using them in both career, economical, and daily life rise.

[Christopher · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as funny as I had hoped. The wit was too dry, even for me.

[Todd Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny book. Dilbert applied to Sun Tzu.

[Derek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes you just need a really funny, short book. With humorous graphs.

If you do, this is that book.