PMDD and Relationships: Living on a Prayer, Living with PMDD

by Liana Laverentz

PMDD doesn't do normal, but every woman who lives the monthly nightmare that is Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder deserves to have strong, true, and lasting relationships, just like her non-PMDD- enduring friends. Based on the most-read posts in the blog Living on a Prayer, Living with PMDD, this book is for people in difficult relationships and focuses on how to deal with a loved one's PMDD. Written with chapters for both the woman trying to cope with her PMDD, and her partner, PMDD and Relationships fills a need for understanding and hope. Understanding of this often debilitating disorder that affects 3 - 8% of menstruating women, and hope for a normal life with friends and family. Topics include how to develop a network of support and encouragement, and how to enjoy deep and abiding relationships in the midst of hormonal chaos. You are not alone, and there is no reason for you to stay alone unless you choose to. Even then, PMDD and Relationships can help you to deal with your PMDD and the world around you in a way that brings renewed joy into the life you were meant to live.

Genres: Nonfiction

250 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 6, 2015

About the author

Liana is a member of Romance Writers of America, the Washington Romance Writers, and Pennwriters, Inc. She spends her free time reading, weeding, making soup, watching Law and Order, taking road trips, and staying at as many bed and breakfasts as she can.

Reviews

[Amberly Geoghegan · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is not what I was expecting. The author, who really seems like a very sweet lady, has zero medical credentials, so this book is her opinion on PMDD. Literally half the book is just copied comments from her blog, she does not believe in drugs whatsoever, and wants you have faith. Get this if you just want stories. I'll pass.

[LK Hunsaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A topic that is largely ignored or unknown, PMDD is different than PMS: as different as social phobia and introversion.

Laverentz gets personal about Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder, a debilitating illness that strikes 3-8% of women in that stage of life. She is no-holds-barred about the effects on the women suffering and their families who suffer with them. I appreciate her repetitive warning that yes, it is a reason for irrational behavior, but it is not an excuse. It can be managed. You can learn to control your reaction, if not your symptoms.

I would like to have seen more about those who have a flight instinct rather than a fight instinct. My guess is that PMDD affects far more than 3-8% but those with flight instinct keep it to themselves enough it doesn't become as big an issue for those around them, and is therefore less likely diagnosed, just as with ADD instead of ADHD. It's not, however, less of an issue for the women suffering with it.

I also had to wonder how often bipolar disorder is diagnosed when it might actually be the hormonal PMDD instead. There are plenty of similarities.

Overall, this is a must read for those dealing with overwhelming hormonal issues part of the month.

[Josephine · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I took away from this book.

Main point: stop looking for the answer outside yourself.

Secondary points:
Set boundaries with yourself and others.
Stop being busy.
Rest more.
Proper diet, sleep, exercise.

Very repetitive and straight from a blog. Might be best to slow down and look for the answers inside of yourself instead of reading this book. Still I feel like it’s nice the author put this out there as there are very few resources to support women with this issue. If you are seeking a kind and supportive book to read to know you aren’t alone, then this is a good book for you.

[Julian Bolster]

Insightful book that helps readers without PMDD understand the complex psychological and social impact of this condition

[Ellie Mitchell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall this book was somewhat helpful in terms of providing relationship advice to couples where one or both partners experiences PMDD. However, I also found several aspects of the book to be concerning. For one, the author does mention her own personal views on medication many times, stressing (rather dramatically) that taking medication is not safe and that it could 'kill' you. This is not an exaggeration but is actually mentioned in her book, in a passage that felt like intense fear-mongering toward what is considered a very vulnerable group (those with PMDD).

Although the sections on relationship advice were helpful, it seemed to be pretty basic stuff, such as be compassionate toward your partner when they're struggling with their PMDD, and to try to accept yourself as a woman living with PMDD. These parts I couldn't really fault much because they could really help some people if communicating their needs with their partner isn't a strong point.

However, a lot of the book was repetitive, with the author also stating her clear position on the Christian God in a way that strongly suggests that you adopt him into your life, no questions asked. This made me feel quite uncomfortable as, although I grew up being raised a Christian, we were taught in the Bible never to preach to others to take on our religious views. As an adult, I still have a healthy respect for people's religions, even though I am no longer religious myself. However, targeting a vulnerable audience with your own personal beliefs just felt wrong and it definitely made me feel a bit wary of the author's motives.

Overall, an interesting read that may help people in terms of their relationships where PMDD is involved. However, you may want to approach it with caution as the author does repetitively stress her personal beliefs throughout the book.