What do you think?
Rate this book


400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
So the next morning Chapman and I sat down and stared into the distance for a bit, before, as usual, I picked up Roget's Thesaurus and started reading out words at random.
"Buttercup. Filter. Catastrophe. Glee. Plummet."
"Ah," said Gra. "I like plummet."
A couple of minutes passed.
"A sheep would plummet, wouldn't it?" one of us said.
"If it tried to fly, you mean?" said the other.
(I should explain that when you've written a piece with someone you can never remember afterwards who exactly contributed what.)
"But why would it want to fly?"
"To escape?"
The Germans were a people famous for their efficiency, so why would they drop perfectly good bombs on Weston-super-Mare, when there was nothing in Weston that a bomb could destroy that could possibly be as valuable as the bomb that destroyed it?
The Germans did return, however, and several times, which mystified everyone. Nevertheless I can't help thinking that Westonians actually quite liked being bombed: it gave them a significance that was otherwise lacking from their lives. But that still leaves the question why would the Hun have bothered? Was it just Teutonic joi de vivre? Did the pilots mistake the Weston seafront for the Western Front? I have heard it quite seriously put forward by older Westonians that it was done at the behest of William Joyce, the infamous "Lord Haw-Haw", who was hanged as a traitor in 1944 by the British for making Nazi propaganda broadcasts to Britain during the war. When I asked these amateur historians why a man of Irish descent who was born in Brooklyn would have such an animus against Weston that he would buttonhole Hitler on the matter, they fell silent. I prefer to believe that it was because of a grudge held by Reichsmarschall Hermann Goering on account of an unsavoury incident on Weston pier in the 1920s, probably involving Noel Coward and Terence Rattigan.
My father's explanation, however, makes the most sense: he said the Germans bombed Weston to show that they really do have a sense of humour.



