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In Defense of the Princess: How Plastic Tiaras and Fairytale Dreams Can Inspire Smart, Strong Women
It's no secret that most girls, at some point, love all things the poofy dresses, the plastic tiaras, the color pink. Even grown-up women can't get enough of royal weddings and royal gossip. Yet critics claim the princess dream sets little girls up to be weak and submissive, and allows grown women to indulge in fantasies of rescue rather than hard work and self-reliance.
Enter Jerramy Fine -- an unabashed feminist who is proud of her life-long princess obsession and more than happy to defend it. Through her amusing life story and in-depth research, Fine makes it clear that feminine doesn't mean weak, pink doesn't mean inferior, and girliness is not incompatible with ambition. From 9th century Cinderella to modern-day Frozen , from Princess Diana to Kate Middleton, from Wonder Woman to Princess Leia, Fine valiantly assures us that princesses have always been about power, not passivity. And those who love them can still be confident, intelligent women.
Provocative, insightful, but also witty and personal, In Defense of the Princess empowers girls, women, and parents to dream of happily ever after without any guilt or shame.
Enter Jerramy Fine -- an unabashed feminist who is proud of her life-long princess obsession and more than happy to defend it. Through her amusing life story and in-depth research, Fine makes it clear that feminine doesn't mean weak, pink doesn't mean inferior, and girliness is not incompatible with ambition. From 9th century Cinderella to modern-day Frozen , from Princess Diana to Kate Middleton, from Wonder Woman to Princess Leia, Fine valiantly assures us that princesses have always been about power, not passivity. And those who love them can still be confident, intelligent women.
Provocative, insightful, but also witty and personal, In Defense of the Princess empowers girls, women, and parents to dream of happily ever after without any guilt or shame.
240 pages, Paperback
First published March 22, 2016
13 people are currently reading
482 people want to read
About the author
Jerramy Fine
7 books89 followersJerramy Fine was raised in rural Colorado, where her hippy parents hoped and prayed she would outgrow her princess obsession. But she never did. Instead she moved to England to seek out a more royal life.
Her childhood quest to become a princess is detailed in her hilarious memoir SOMEDAY MY PRINCE WILL COMES. Fine explores the power of the princess archeytype in IN DEFENSE OF THE PRINCESS, and her debut novel, ROYAL RESISTANCE, is about a princess that runs for president (wishful thinking?)
Fine studied Political Science at the University of Rochester and Social Science at the London School of Economics. She lives in London with her husband and daughter.
Her childhood quest to become a princess is detailed in her hilarious memoir SOMEDAY MY PRINCE WILL COMES. Fine explores the power of the princess archeytype in IN DEFENSE OF THE PRINCESS, and her debut novel, ROYAL RESISTANCE, is about a princess that runs for president (wishful thinking?)
Fine studied Political Science at the University of Rochester and Social Science at the London School of Economics. She lives in London with her husband and daughter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
June 9, 2017
This rating/review is based on an advanced reading copy.
Definitely not for me. I think if you remove all the nonsense from this book it would make a really excellent article for like Slate. That’s approximately how much actual content is in here. There are also some major flaws with how the information is presented. The author uses an incredible amount of unsupported generalizations and anecdotal evidence that I personally find baffling. Most Wikipedia pages are better supported.
I have a lot more to say, but I’m hiding it using the spoilers tag. Read if you want, don’t if you don’t.
Definitely not for me. I think if you remove all the nonsense from this book it would make a really excellent article for like Slate. That’s approximately how much actual content is in here. There are also some major flaws with how the information is presented. The author uses an incredible amount of unsupported generalizations and anecdotal evidence that I personally find baffling. Most Wikipedia pages are better supported.
I have a lot more to say, but I’m hiding it using the spoilers tag. Read if you want, don’t if you don’t.
July 12, 2016
I am what anyone would consider a very feminine girly girl. I am at heart, also a feminist. I joined the US Navy and took advantage of the opportunities that feminism throughout the ages has afforded me. However, I did unfortunately face some negativity for choosing to wear the black skirt instead of the pants with my dress uniforms. Surprisingly, it was only from women that I faced this discrimination, no matter how marginal it was. My skirt was the perfect length, neither longer nor shorter than two inches above or below the knee as the uniform regulations allowed. Of course, not all women cared, or went out of their way to make comments about my more feminine demeanor and appearance, but there were a few that tried to convince me that I need to dress and act more like the men in the military to hold my own. Umm, no.
Feminism has afforded me to exist as the female that I want to be amongst men. Let me reiterate that not a day in my life was I out of regulations with hair, minimal makeup, or uniform choices, but it was frowned upon by some that I chose to not indulge in wearing pants or embracing a more masculine appearance.
In my personal opinion and choice of comfortability, skirts are so much better than pants. I love the floofy knee and tea length tulle skirts and wear them all the time! Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m more on the petite side and can never really find a pair of pants that doesn’t need hemming, and “ain’t nobody got time for that.”
I think it’s so wonderful that children are encouraged to be whomever they want to be, and enjoy any character that they love, but in the past few years, I feel like there’s been an unnecessary extent of some princess bashing and unfair comparisons that this author so wonderfully and passionately defends! She defends so many princesses, both fictional and real, and explores how they serve as wonderful role models that children should not be discouraged to look up to!
Feminism has afforded me to exist as the female that I want to be amongst men. Let me reiterate that not a day in my life was I out of regulations with hair, minimal makeup, or uniform choices, but it was frowned upon by some that I chose to not indulge in wearing pants or embracing a more masculine appearance.
In my personal opinion and choice of comfortability, skirts are so much better than pants. I love the floofy knee and tea length tulle skirts and wear them all the time! Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m more on the petite side and can never really find a pair of pants that doesn’t need hemming, and “ain’t nobody got time for that.”
I think it’s so wonderful that children are encouraged to be whomever they want to be, and enjoy any character that they love, but in the past few years, I feel like there’s been an unnecessary extent of some princess bashing and unfair comparisons that this author so wonderfully and passionately defends! She defends so many princesses, both fictional and real, and explores how they serve as wonderful role models that children should not be discouraged to look up to!
February 1, 2016
Thank you to NetGalley for my copy of In Defense of the Princess: How Plastic Tiaras and Fairytale Dreams can Inspire Smart, Strong Women.
I'm not generally not a non-fiction reader, but since I have always loved princesses, I wanted to read this one. I'm really glad that I did decide to! I found it is filled with a belief of inspiring values - like intelligence, strength, and helping others. The book discusses what is truly means to be a "princess" and the positive qualities that can bring to your life. Not only that, but I did enjoy the history in this book too. There were some stories and information about real life royals that I didn't know about before. There were a lot of examples of real life "princesses", royal or not, that are positive role models. The book was well-written, easy to read, and flowed very well from chapter to chapter. I personally thought that this book promoted a lot of positivity and good values.
I'm not generally not a non-fiction reader, but since I have always loved princesses, I wanted to read this one. I'm really glad that I did decide to! I found it is filled with a belief of inspiring values - like intelligence, strength, and helping others. The book discusses what is truly means to be a "princess" and the positive qualities that can bring to your life. Not only that, but I did enjoy the history in this book too. There were some stories and information about real life royals that I didn't know about before. There were a lot of examples of real life "princesses", royal or not, that are positive role models. The book was well-written, easy to read, and flowed very well from chapter to chapter. I personally thought that this book promoted a lot of positivity and good values.
April 19, 2017
This title caught my eye at the library. As a mother of three daughters, I've heard many variations of either loving or hating princesses. Ms Fine does a wonderful job of pointing out many flaws in the idea that loving princesses creates girls who grow up into weak women who need a man to rescue them. She reminds us that princess stories were around way before Disney and many princesses have wonderful qualities that we want to see in our girls--perseverance, strength, grace, and kindness among them. I love that Ms Fine encourages us (as a society) to allow girls to be girls, letting them play princess if they choose. Personally, this book went right along with many things I've felt as a mom. I recommend it to anyone who has a princess loving girl in their life.
January 8, 2016
I was able to read this through NetGalley in exchange for a review. I'm the kind of feminist that has problems every Christmas when I have to buy something for one of the nieces that love the whole pink princess thing, as I want to get them something that they like, but doesn't violate my own personal ethics about what should be encouraged. Because I've never really seen much value in the phenomenon. Pink by itself doesn't bother me, it's just a color, but the way it's used to target and isolate women, helluva problem. (Though, lately it seems to be less about merchandising things to women in general than awful corporate pink-washing, see, we care about breast cancer! We made our oil drillbits pink!) So, I went in to this book thinking, ok, convince me that this whole frilly princess obsession isn't just a way to keep girls silly and decorative. Make your argument that there is value in it.
And, for the most part, she does. The arguments she makes (and backs up) are that the Disney Princesses themselves haven't been doormats since well before I was born, most of the ones in recent decades have shown more strength than anyone else in the movie. And that most of them are actually very old archetypes, and there's a reason why their stories have survived hundreds of years. Some specifics will always make me cringe, but I'm ok with most of them, and the ones I'm not, I'm definitely ok with the redos that Disney has started doing with the worst of them (specifically Maleficent letting me pretend to forget that Sleeping Beauty exists). There are plenty of problems that remain in the movies (Fine tries to argue that the criticism of the waist size of the Disney Princesses isn't a problem, since no one complains about Charlie Brown's head being twice the size of his body. Well, no one ever tries to become hydrocephalic on purpose so that they could meet the Peanuts beauty standards. Disney isn't completely responsible for eating disorders, but they sure don't help.), but it's a lot of the side merchandising and marketing that's where the real horrors lay.
I found myself highlighting more passages than I ever imagined I would, because there are some very good arguments. The one that spoke to me the most, and pretty much convinced me to just chill out with hating on the whole princess obsession is one she makes early on, that those of us who would have no problems encouraging a boy who wants to play with frilly dolls or a girl who wants to play with construction toys shouldn't be discourage a child that truly wants to play with gender conforming toys. Ok. If a girl wants to be girlie, shaming her for it is just as bad as shaming kids for not being gender conforming.
But, by the end, it kind of falls apart into borderline gender essentialism, women are into sharing and consensus building, men are too competitive. Girls play one way, boys play another. Speak for yourself. There were a whole lot of modifiers missing from the last couple chapters. Some, many, and even most can be your arguments' best friends.
The examples of real life royalty, and all-but (Jackie Kennedy and Eva Peron) are interesting, and support her argument that there's a reason why these women are more culturally adored than the men. I only wish that Crown Princess Masako had more than a short paragraph, as she is the most interesting to me of the modern, accomplished women marrying into royalty. I guess part of it is that the book is mainly focused on the current western princess phenomenon, and part is how tragic it is that a woman that I would argue is almost as modern and accomplished as all the others listed in that section had her mental health so completely beaten down by becoming a princess.
Overall, glad I read it. Mostly well argued and supported, some parts were weak and could be cut or reworked, but I was enlightened, and changed some of my opinions. One thing I did notice by the end was that I can see the word Princess capitalized and think of it as a concept when it's not followed by a specific name, but can't see the word Prince (capitalized and not followed by a name) without thinking of the Purple One. And that got a wee bit confusing for brief moments until I reminded myself that she's not referring to the artist.
And, for the most part, she does. The arguments she makes (and backs up) are that the Disney Princesses themselves haven't been doormats since well before I was born, most of the ones in recent decades have shown more strength than anyone else in the movie. And that most of them are actually very old archetypes, and there's a reason why their stories have survived hundreds of years. Some specifics will always make me cringe, but I'm ok with most of them, and the ones I'm not, I'm definitely ok with the redos that Disney has started doing with the worst of them (specifically Maleficent letting me pretend to forget that Sleeping Beauty exists). There are plenty of problems that remain in the movies (Fine tries to argue that the criticism of the waist size of the Disney Princesses isn't a problem, since no one complains about Charlie Brown's head being twice the size of his body. Well, no one ever tries to become hydrocephalic on purpose so that they could meet the Peanuts beauty standards. Disney isn't completely responsible for eating disorders, but they sure don't help.), but it's a lot of the side merchandising and marketing that's where the real horrors lay.
I found myself highlighting more passages than I ever imagined I would, because there are some very good arguments. The one that spoke to me the most, and pretty much convinced me to just chill out with hating on the whole princess obsession is one she makes early on, that those of us who would have no problems encouraging a boy who wants to play with frilly dolls or a girl who wants to play with construction toys shouldn't be discourage a child that truly wants to play with gender conforming toys. Ok. If a girl wants to be girlie, shaming her for it is just as bad as shaming kids for not being gender conforming.
But, by the end, it kind of falls apart into borderline gender essentialism, women are into sharing and consensus building, men are too competitive. Girls play one way, boys play another. Speak for yourself. There were a whole lot of modifiers missing from the last couple chapters. Some, many, and even most can be your arguments' best friends.
The examples of real life royalty, and all-but (Jackie Kennedy and Eva Peron) are interesting, and support her argument that there's a reason why these women are more culturally adored than the men. I only wish that Crown Princess Masako had more than a short paragraph, as she is the most interesting to me of the modern, accomplished women marrying into royalty. I guess part of it is that the book is mainly focused on the current western princess phenomenon, and part is how tragic it is that a woman that I would argue is almost as modern and accomplished as all the others listed in that section had her mental health so completely beaten down by becoming a princess.
Overall, glad I read it. Mostly well argued and supported, some parts were weak and could be cut or reworked, but I was enlightened, and changed some of my opinions. One thing I did notice by the end was that I can see the word Princess capitalized and think of it as a concept when it's not followed by a specific name, but can't see the word Prince (capitalized and not followed by a name) without thinking of the Purple One. And that got a wee bit confusing for brief moments until I reminded myself that she's not referring to the artist.
June 8, 2017
I was so excited about this book. I wanted to love this book. I even posted about it on Instagram before I read it.
Unfortunately, it really fell short for me. I absolutely love that there's literature backing the idea that Princess play isn't as harmful as it's made out to be, but the author really struggled to provide me with much evidence to support that stance.
On the technical side, most of her conjectures weren't backed by fact at all. At one point she states that "ultra-ambitious college girls will publicly cite Hillary Clinton, Sonya Sotomayor" etc. as their role models but "when pressed further, they unanimously confide that the woman they truly want to be is Kate Middleton". Who? Who says this? How can you use unanimously without showing us who you polled? And then still present it as fact?
I also found the chapters on beauty to be particularly damning. Her argument that girls shouldn't be shamed if they're beautiful reminds me of the argument that we shouldn't "skinny shame women" either. Of COURSE we shouldn't do that. It's never right to shame women for anything body centric or otherwise harmful. But there's no denying that we live in a society that caters to thin, beautiful women. Rather than belittling the opposing side, a better defense might be that beautiful or otherwise, girls should be encouraged to feel comfortable in their own skin regardless of physical appearance. Whether glamour makes them happy or not, that's ok! Denouncing a few 21st century princess' physical features by writing that they're an attack on femininity entirely misses the point. She argues that we need to allow femininity back in feminism - and I agree - but why not let women choose? "Liberation lies in the choice".
To be clear - I still agree that Princesses promote independence, leadership, and positivity for girls. I gave it 2 stars because she does have some good ideas and I liked a few of the quotes she pulled from other authors a lot. All in all, I felt like this book mostly missed the mark.
Unfortunately, it really fell short for me. I absolutely love that there's literature backing the idea that Princess play isn't as harmful as it's made out to be, but the author really struggled to provide me with much evidence to support that stance.
On the technical side, most of her conjectures weren't backed by fact at all. At one point she states that "ultra-ambitious college girls will publicly cite Hillary Clinton, Sonya Sotomayor" etc. as their role models but "when pressed further, they unanimously confide that the woman they truly want to be is Kate Middleton". Who? Who says this? How can you use unanimously without showing us who you polled? And then still present it as fact?
I also found the chapters on beauty to be particularly damning. Her argument that girls shouldn't be shamed if they're beautiful reminds me of the argument that we shouldn't "skinny shame women" either. Of COURSE we shouldn't do that. It's never right to shame women for anything body centric or otherwise harmful. But there's no denying that we live in a society that caters to thin, beautiful women. Rather than belittling the opposing side, a better defense might be that beautiful or otherwise, girls should be encouraged to feel comfortable in their own skin regardless of physical appearance. Whether glamour makes them happy or not, that's ok! Denouncing a few 21st century princess' physical features by writing that they're an attack on femininity entirely misses the point. She argues that we need to allow femininity back in feminism - and I agree - but why not let women choose? "Liberation lies in the choice".
To be clear - I still agree that Princesses promote independence, leadership, and positivity for girls. I gave it 2 stars because she does have some good ideas and I liked a few of the quotes she pulled from other authors a lot. All in all, I felt like this book mostly missed the mark.
December 20, 2015
There aren't enough words to adequately express how much I absolutely adore this book. It is, in fact, perfection. I feel like I have been waiting for this book my entire life. I feel validated, and supported, and empowered. I wish this was required reading, especially for parents. And spoiler alert- the author sites studies which were done to back up claims. So to those dissenters out there- we have evidence. Aside from how I think this book says so many things that needed to be said, and they were said well, the book is super entertaining. I found myself laughing throughout. Also, this book is very up to date- I loved her comments about Emma Watson and how she obviously doesn't see her upcoming role as Belle in Beauty and the Beast to be in conflict in anyway with her recent He for She work. (Because it isn't.) Princesses, even Disney-fied princesses, do not detract from feminism, and this book lays out how true this is in rather profound ways.
September 20, 2016
I thoroughly enjoyed this quick nonfiction book that took a distinct look at princess culture with a feminist perspective. I think Fine's viewpoint is really important as she encourages people to look at a lot of the more "feminine" aspects people associate with princesses (dresses, tiaras, Disney movies, pink, etc.) and instead of putting down the girls who enjoy those things, she really looks into what these associations mean and shows that although many people may see these "princess things" as weak and passive interests for girls, they can actually serve as really powerful and positive messages. I feel like there are so few books discussing this sort of encouragement (many popular arguments are the complete opposite of Fine's) and so I think it would be very enlightening for more people to read this well-researched, super relevant book, and even if they still disagree with it, I don't think anyone will walk away without learning something.
(Also posted on Amazon)
(Also posted on Amazon)
August 7, 2016
I found this book on the "Smart Thinking" shelves at a branch of Waterstones in the UK. As a father of two English daughters, and grandfather of two adult American girls; clearly a reason to read it! The last book I read was Nadeem Aslam's Maps for Lost Lovers. Amazing contrast. The latter descriptive of the plight of many young Pakistani women, who happen to fall in love with, in the opinion of her father and brothers may find herself at the wrong end of a so called "Honour Killing". So the message in Fine's book isn't by any means fluffy Princess stuff. It is about empowering women and in doing so still keeping their femininity.
February 1, 2016
I received this as an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The last third or so was such a disappointment. Full review to come. Apparently all princesses are compassionate and empathetic and blah blah blah.
++++++++++++++
My book blog: http://allthebookblognamesaretaken.bl...
https://www.facebook.com/AllTheBookBl...
www.twitter.com/SarahsBookNook
I received this book as an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I absolutely loved this one for about the first half or two thirds or so. The rest was such a disappointment. This may come as a surprise, since I seem to be the target audience. After all, I myself am a princess. My name means 'princess' in Hebrew, I have the word 'princess' tattooed in Hebrew on my body, and I was pretty much raised like a princess, being an only child - and only grandchild for ten years. But the problem with this one is that the author applies modern thinking while making general statements about all princesses - that princesses are caring, protective of their kingdoms, etc. Disney Princesses, yes (more on these lovely ladies in a second), but REAL princesses, in the middle ages? They had no power themselves and lived to be pawns for their fathers to gain power through marriages. Princesses then were decidedly NOT powerful, so I think it is important that the author makes the distinction of being a modern princess who has autonomy and control over her own life.
I like how the book started out, specifically focusing on Disney Princesses. We love Disney in this house and I will never apologize for that. My daughter is two and a half and loves to watch Frozen, Tangled, and Brave especially. She dresses up in the Elsa and Anna costumes, then plays with her dump trucks and garbage trucks. I have zero worry that she is being damaged by unrealistic expectations that Disney supposedly promotes. So, I appreciate this aspect of the book and the author suggestions that these princesses display self-reliance, compassion, critical thinking, ingenuity, etc. However, lets be honest, that was not the message being sent when Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White came out decades ago. I do agree that these princesses were more on the weak side when compared today to the likes of Rapunzel and Merida. And before you tell me that Rapunzel waited for a man (Flynn Rider) to help her leave her tower, I must remind you that she had never left the tower and had also asked Mother Gothel to take her. It was not that she needed a man to protect her - she did that just fine on her own. She just needed someone to show her the way to the lanterns.
A quote I particularly liked in reference to this issue: "I'm not suggesting we negate all critical thinking when it comes to viewing Disney films with our children - but if someone tells me that Disney princesses possess zero redeeming qualities, I must and will protest" (8%). This, I certainly agree with.
Another positive: the author mentions Boudicca and Eleanor of Aquitaine in the same sentence and they are awesome. My daughter is named after Eleanor of Aquitaine and her nickname has evolved over the last two years to Boody, for Boudicca. It makes sense in my head and in hers, trust me.
My biggest issue with this book is that the author assumes that women and girls want to be princesses because of the qualities of kindness and compassion, caring for those around them, caring about the 'global and human implications of decisions and not just financial implications'...that is all well and good and OF COURSE we want to raise all our children, not just girls to be kind and caring people. But this assumes then that girls are not also competitive or things that might be perceived as more 'masculine' qualities, because the author uses the phrase 'scientifically proven' several times at the end when discussing the characteristics of women/princesses. Sorry I'm not sorry, but I am super competitive and I always want to win. If I win, that means someone else has to lose. That does not make me any less of a princess. I'd wear my tiara to work every day if I could, but unfortunately I live in the Midwest where people would look at me like I was crazy and I just don't want to deal with that. If I lived in New York or LA, no one would look twice. But I digress. Back to the topic at hand - the qualities the author says princesses have are not the ONLY qualities we possess and that is okay. It doesn't mean that I want everyone else to fail so I can win, and of course it depends on the situation, but still, she is supposing a lot.
Another issue that bothered me was when the author repeatedly discussed Prince William losing his hair in her section on Kate. The author previously made the point about not emphasizing beauty, yet she takes these little potshots at the fact that he is going bald. The first time, I let it go, but then the second mention came in the form of, "...back in the days when his cheeks had color and his head had hair"...and following up with this one a swipe later about, "...November 2010 when his eligibility came to an end and so did much of his hair." Why is it okay to do this and repeatedly comment on his looks, when we should not do this to women/princesses? Speaking of Kate - while I was among the many who watched the wedding, enthralled, I am a bit skeptical of the author's prediction that she will one day be known as 'Kate the Great'. Does the author know that only one ruler in the history of the country - from even before England was united as England - is known as 'the Great'? He goes by the name of Alfred and he busted his butt to secure Wessex and the surrounding lands, fight Vikings, promote religion and learning, create burghs. I am guessing she does not, since she also stated that the royal family of England goes back to the 400s AD. Um, no, they definitely do not. Roman occupation slowly dwindled out and the country eventually became divided into small kingdoms. It was not until Aethelstan, Alfred's grandson, that England even became united into England in Anglo-Saxon times. Please know your history when it is relevant to your topic.
As an aside, the author mentions a 12 year old girl in California who has discovered that all US presidents except one are directly descended from King John (That would be Eleanor of Aquitaine's youngest son, Richard I's brother who is possibly one of the worst kings England had, and thus came Magna Carta). I found this fact very interesting and wanted to know more about this, how she came across this information and what materials did she have access to in order to determine this?
In the end, I was highly disappointed in how the book devolved from how princesses could be strong, powerful and capable, to a diatribe about feminism. I do agree that you can be pro princess and a feminist. Feminist is not a dirty word, being a feminist simply means you recognize gender equality as a must in our world, so let's just get that out of the way. Yet the author goes on saying how we hate ourselves for buying Princess Diana biographies, and don't want our daughters to have princess-themed birthday parties...Um, please. My daughter's first birthday was Disney princess themed, complete with a three-tiered replica of the Disneyland Castle. I am entirely not ashamed of my princess-ness and no one else should be either. Being a princess is awesome.
And for the record, my toddler knows she is a princess too. She says it every day while she twirls around in her fancy dresses, surrounded by all her trucks.
The last third or so was such a disappointment. Full review to come. Apparently all princesses are compassionate and empathetic and blah blah blah.
++++++++++++++
My book blog: http://allthebookblognamesaretaken.bl...
https://www.facebook.com/AllTheBookBl...
www.twitter.com/SarahsBookNook
I received this book as an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I absolutely loved this one for about the first half or two thirds or so. The rest was such a disappointment. This may come as a surprise, since I seem to be the target audience. After all, I myself am a princess. My name means 'princess' in Hebrew, I have the word 'princess' tattooed in Hebrew on my body, and I was pretty much raised like a princess, being an only child - and only grandchild for ten years. But the problem with this one is that the author applies modern thinking while making general statements about all princesses - that princesses are caring, protective of their kingdoms, etc. Disney Princesses, yes (more on these lovely ladies in a second), but REAL princesses, in the middle ages? They had no power themselves and lived to be pawns for their fathers to gain power through marriages. Princesses then were decidedly NOT powerful, so I think it is important that the author makes the distinction of being a modern princess who has autonomy and control over her own life.
I like how the book started out, specifically focusing on Disney Princesses. We love Disney in this house and I will never apologize for that. My daughter is two and a half and loves to watch Frozen, Tangled, and Brave especially. She dresses up in the Elsa and Anna costumes, then plays with her dump trucks and garbage trucks. I have zero worry that she is being damaged by unrealistic expectations that Disney supposedly promotes. So, I appreciate this aspect of the book and the author suggestions that these princesses display self-reliance, compassion, critical thinking, ingenuity, etc. However, lets be honest, that was not the message being sent when Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White came out decades ago. I do agree that these princesses were more on the weak side when compared today to the likes of Rapunzel and Merida. And before you tell me that Rapunzel waited for a man (Flynn Rider) to help her leave her tower, I must remind you that she had never left the tower and had also asked Mother Gothel to take her. It was not that she needed a man to protect her - she did that just fine on her own. She just needed someone to show her the way to the lanterns.
A quote I particularly liked in reference to this issue: "I'm not suggesting we negate all critical thinking when it comes to viewing Disney films with our children - but if someone tells me that Disney princesses possess zero redeeming qualities, I must and will protest" (8%). This, I certainly agree with.
Another positive: the author mentions Boudicca and Eleanor of Aquitaine in the same sentence and they are awesome. My daughter is named after Eleanor of Aquitaine and her nickname has evolved over the last two years to Boody, for Boudicca. It makes sense in my head and in hers, trust me.
My biggest issue with this book is that the author assumes that women and girls want to be princesses because of the qualities of kindness and compassion, caring for those around them, caring about the 'global and human implications of decisions and not just financial implications'...that is all well and good and OF COURSE we want to raise all our children, not just girls to be kind and caring people. But this assumes then that girls are not also competitive or things that might be perceived as more 'masculine' qualities, because the author uses the phrase 'scientifically proven' several times at the end when discussing the characteristics of women/princesses. Sorry I'm not sorry, but I am super competitive and I always want to win. If I win, that means someone else has to lose. That does not make me any less of a princess. I'd wear my tiara to work every day if I could, but unfortunately I live in the Midwest where people would look at me like I was crazy and I just don't want to deal with that. If I lived in New York or LA, no one would look twice. But I digress. Back to the topic at hand - the qualities the author says princesses have are not the ONLY qualities we possess and that is okay. It doesn't mean that I want everyone else to fail so I can win, and of course it depends on the situation, but still, she is supposing a lot.
Another issue that bothered me was when the author repeatedly discussed Prince William losing his hair in her section on Kate. The author previously made the point about not emphasizing beauty, yet she takes these little potshots at the fact that he is going bald. The first time, I let it go, but then the second mention came in the form of, "...back in the days when his cheeks had color and his head had hair"...and following up with this one a swipe later about, "...November 2010 when his eligibility came to an end and so did much of his hair." Why is it okay to do this and repeatedly comment on his looks, when we should not do this to women/princesses? Speaking of Kate - while I was among the many who watched the wedding, enthralled, I am a bit skeptical of the author's prediction that she will one day be known as 'Kate the Great'. Does the author know that only one ruler in the history of the country - from even before England was united as England - is known as 'the Great'? He goes by the name of Alfred and he busted his butt to secure Wessex and the surrounding lands, fight Vikings, promote religion and learning, create burghs. I am guessing she does not, since she also stated that the royal family of England goes back to the 400s AD. Um, no, they definitely do not. Roman occupation slowly dwindled out and the country eventually became divided into small kingdoms. It was not until Aethelstan, Alfred's grandson, that England even became united into England in Anglo-Saxon times. Please know your history when it is relevant to your topic.
As an aside, the author mentions a 12 year old girl in California who has discovered that all US presidents except one are directly descended from King John (That would be Eleanor of Aquitaine's youngest son, Richard I's brother who is possibly one of the worst kings England had, and thus came Magna Carta). I found this fact very interesting and wanted to know more about this, how she came across this information and what materials did she have access to in order to determine this?
In the end, I was highly disappointed in how the book devolved from how princesses could be strong, powerful and capable, to a diatribe about feminism. I do agree that you can be pro princess and a feminist. Feminist is not a dirty word, being a feminist simply means you recognize gender equality as a must in our world, so let's just get that out of the way. Yet the author goes on saying how we hate ourselves for buying Princess Diana biographies, and don't want our daughters to have princess-themed birthday parties...Um, please. My daughter's first birthday was Disney princess themed, complete with a three-tiered replica of the Disneyland Castle. I am entirely not ashamed of my princess-ness and no one else should be either. Being a princess is awesome.
And for the record, my toddler knows she is a princess too. She says it every day while she twirls around in her fancy dresses, surrounded by all her trucks.
February 8, 2021
This book was not at all what I expected it to be - a book purely about Disney princesses. Instead, it reached deeper into what it means to be a princess, to be kind, caring, intelligent, inspiring, and presented impressive arguments against typical cultural beliefs towards princesses. The book certainly changed how I view any princess, whether that be Cinderella and Snow White or the Princess of Monaco.
May 11, 2022
As a child, I was teased for my love of princesses. This book was an excellent read. I appreciate that the author discusses the archetype, women who are real princesses today in various countries, that it's not silly to be a fan and the benefit of Disney princesses. Thank you for writing this book! The word princess is a powerful and important topic.
February 29, 2024
I really loved the premise of this book and finished it in one sitting. I think this maybe could’ve been an essay rather than a book, but the ideas and values presented in it really resonated with me. The author refutes essentially every argument for why being girly and feminine is considered weak and bad. My only major complaint is the lack of trans inclusion. I think if you don’t want a book like this to feel like just another product of white feminism, that needs to be included.
September 16, 2019
Well, that was a bunch of narcissistic twaddle. Fine's writing is uneven, and she changes her definition of princess as needed to make her point. She cherry picks examples in the sections where she talks about folktales and Disney, and she often contradicts herself. What I ultimately get from the book is no one understands her obsession with princesses, but all women really do understand; they just have been trained to deny their inner princess. Ugh.
December 31, 2016
I love the message of this book. Fine shows how at its root, the princess archetype is all about girl power- girls going after their dreams, being courageous, seeking adventure, developing and displaying a noble character, pursuing justice, etc. She also shows the danger in limiting girls' choices and of putting down their interests, particularly if those preferences happen to be more "feminine" in nature. As she points out, we still take men seriously if they talk about sports, so why do we take women less seriously if they talk about fashion? We correctly tell little boys it's okay for them to play with dolls and like "girly" things; why do some adults discourage little girls from liking princesses and other "girly" play? Women, as humans, are complex and can have many interests and be many things. The princess ideal encourages girls to be whatever they want and to believe themselves worthy of their desires. Overall, Fine highlights the value and power of the feminine and how this can and should go hand in hand with being a strong, smart, accomplished, and happy woman. An important, feminist message, but sadly, many haters are still going to hate.
September 17, 2017
A wonderful and easy read for those who are tired of how the world wants to crap on princesses and femininity.
(Honestly, this book should be renamed "In Defense of Sansa Stark" for obvious reasons. If you dislike characters because they embody female gender roles, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. But I digress...)
Jerramy Fine explains how femininity and the archetypal princess actually teach young girls/women to be compassionate and bold and to demand better for themselves. She also says that "in a world heaving with male-driven narratives, fairytale princesses [...] demonstrate to young girls that their stories deserve to be told."
Fine addresses the fact that society constantly puts down and demeans everything that is the slightest bit feminine in favor of venerating masculinity, and how this inherently tells young girls that they aren't good enough as they are and that what they like/love/enjoy is less meaningful and important than what boys/men enjoy.
One of my favorite little paragraphs is from page 202 - I even drew a heart with a crown beside it and circled the page number about 5 times... "Most of us would agree that dismissing someone purely because she is female is unacceptable. Yet dismissing feminine qualities and feminine expression (including princess culture) is still widely condoned." Just let that soak in.
She even suggests that feminists have sabotaged their own movement by rejecting and demeaning femininity, because by rejecting femininity in favor of masculinity, you are setting aside important attributes and values that the world needs, like compassion and vulnerability.
In amongst all this, Fine gave readers examples of real life princesses and women who are educated and strong and worthy of being role models, because they are using their education and power to make life better for others and improve the world around them. That is the true purpose of a princess - to show girls that they are powerful and strong and that they can make a real change in this world by simply being themselves and standing up for what they believe in. (Examples included Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, of course, but also included Jackie Kennedy, Grace Kelly, Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, Princess Eugenie of the United Kingdom [who is one of the brightest members of the English royal family, if A-level exams are anything to go on], Princess Bajrakitiyabha of Thailand, and many more!)
I went into this book thinking that it would be just about why princesses are important, but I discovered that it is so much more than that - it is a defense of all things feminine and of all little girls who believe that they are worthy of having the best in life, but it is also a critique on the older forms of feminism and how it is necessary for us all to embrace femininity and female-ness in order to truly move forward as a society. It was a quick read and Jerramy Fine's writing made it an entertaining one.
My only complaint is that sometimes I wish Fine had really gone for the kill while critiquing, but it is still a 5-star read for me because it kept me thinking and analyzing.
(Honestly, this book should be renamed "In Defense of Sansa Stark" for obvious reasons. If you dislike characters because they embody female gender roles, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. But I digress...)
Jerramy Fine explains how femininity and the archetypal princess actually teach young girls/women to be compassionate and bold and to demand better for themselves. She also says that "in a world heaving with male-driven narratives, fairytale princesses [...] demonstrate to young girls that their stories deserve to be told."
Fine addresses the fact that society constantly puts down and demeans everything that is the slightest bit feminine in favor of venerating masculinity, and how this inherently tells young girls that they aren't good enough as they are and that what they like/love/enjoy is less meaningful and important than what boys/men enjoy.
One of my favorite little paragraphs is from page 202 - I even drew a heart with a crown beside it and circled the page number about 5 times... "Most of us would agree that dismissing someone purely because she is female is unacceptable. Yet dismissing feminine qualities and feminine expression (including princess culture) is still widely condoned." Just let that soak in.
She even suggests that feminists have sabotaged their own movement by rejecting and demeaning femininity, because by rejecting femininity in favor of masculinity, you are setting aside important attributes and values that the world needs, like compassion and vulnerability.
In amongst all this, Fine gave readers examples of real life princesses and women who are educated and strong and worthy of being role models, because they are using their education and power to make life better for others and improve the world around them. That is the true purpose of a princess - to show girls that they are powerful and strong and that they can make a real change in this world by simply being themselves and standing up for what they believe in. (Examples included Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, of course, but also included Jackie Kennedy, Grace Kelly, Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, Princess Eugenie of the United Kingdom [who is one of the brightest members of the English royal family, if A-level exams are anything to go on], Princess Bajrakitiyabha of Thailand, and many more!)
I went into this book thinking that it would be just about why princesses are important, but I discovered that it is so much more than that - it is a defense of all things feminine and of all little girls who believe that they are worthy of having the best in life, but it is also a critique on the older forms of feminism and how it is necessary for us all to embrace femininity and female-ness in order to truly move forward as a society. It was a quick read and Jerramy Fine's writing made it an entertaining one.
My only complaint is that sometimes I wish Fine had really gone for the kill while critiquing, but it is still a 5-star read for me because it kept me thinking and analyzing.
March 27, 2019
I wish I could give this book five stars, because I agree with a lot of the author's thoughts, but I just can't. More on why in a minute. First the good:
I love her defense of Disney princesses. Yes, there's more to Cinderella than a pretty face. There's more to Snow White than being tidy. And today's princesses are positively feminists. Let's stop writing off Disney princesses as shallow just because they are fairy tale characters. I also love her argument that loving feminine things doesn't make you weak or antifeminist. Female brains are biologically different from male brains, and we don't have to try to be something we aren't.
But.
Fine makes the error of assuming that her experiences are common to all women everywhere. For example: "I'm certain if you probed deep into the hearts of the fiercest fairytale critics, beneath all the bravado, you'd find the tender souls of traditionalists. Because, deep down, every little girl dreams of finding her Prince Charming - not just every little girl but every young woman, every old woman, in every country, in every century."
Wow. Not only is that a ridiculously broad statement, but it also writes off disagreeing viewpoints by asserting that deep down, her critics really agree with her.
But what really frustrated me was her discussion of real life princesses, both historical and modern. Fine paints a rosy picture of all princesses everywhere throughout time as strong, wise women who should serve as positive role models. Here are a few choice examples:
"Although many assume that royal men always have the upper hand, ordinary women wield more power than you think. After all...Henry VIII reshaped his nation's entire history to marry Anne Boleyn." (Seriously???? Anne was beheaded four years after her marriage because she failed to produce a male heir. Power? Really?)
"[When] they are officially crowned, these royal women have learned to look beyond themselves in every situation. While juggling the everyday demands of marriage and children (does anyone really think that Kate Middleton is experiencing marriage and children the way most of us do? Let's talk about nannies, tutors, housekeepers, and the army of other people whose job it is to help the royal family), they must remember to place the well-being of their realm before all else."
"Think of powerful women like Melinda Gates or Michelle Obama who are using their influence to eradicate third world poverty and disease, to fight child obesity, help homeless veterans, and ensure all girls get the education they deserve...Does it really matter how these women obtained their leverage?" (This quote is comparing the experiences of these women with those of princesses and queens who are born into their roles or marry into them. Melinda Gates and Michelle Obama are making the most of the position as the wives of prominent men to do good things. That's great, but let's all pause for a moment and remember that Bill Gates and Barack Obama were not born into power. They achieved their positions as the result of lots of very hard work. That's how it works in America. And in the case of the Obamas, they married long before Barack became the powerful leader he is today. Michelle did not marry into power.)
And one last one, just because it got under my skin:
"Royalty is ROMANTIC. And, for better or for worse, America's monarchy-free government lacks this distinctive allure...You simply can't escape the fact that the Windsor dynasty, with all its regal glamour and enchantment, is a lot more interesting than American dynasties made up of Bushes or Clintons...When Americans complain to me about elected politicians, I often joke that if [Americans have a minuscule impact upon public policy], we might as well go with the more glamorous royal option - at least we'd have more pomp and pageantry to brighten our days."
I just have no words. We're really going to compare systems of government based on how much glamour they have?
Fine also plays fast and loose with history and fact to make her point that princesses are awesome. She provides detailed descriptions of Diana, Grace Kelly, Jackie Kennedy, Evita, and Kate Middleton, but fails to mention Bloody Mary and Marie Antoinette, who used their power to persecute their people and/or indulge their own lavish consumption.
Of Kate Middleton, Fine says "When William is King, I predict his reign will become a co-regency in everything but name and Kate will become the shining sun around which the entire monarchy revolves. Because she keeps so much to herself, Kate may not be as emotionally satisfying as Diana, but as she settles into her new position, let us hope she finds a purpose, and a voice, beyond what is expected of her. She will be the country's sixth Queen Catherine. But with increasing wisdom and grace, perhaps she will go down in history as none other than 'Kate the Great'."
Oh my stars. Let's stop the fan-girling for a minute and remember that being a princess doesn't automatically give you wisdom and grace. All we see of the royals is the carefully curated press packs they dole out to us. We don't know what William and Kate's marriage is really like, or what kind of mother she is. We don't know anything about her. Is she really wise and kind? I hope so. But how would we know?
In her chapter on Princes, Fine makes this shocking statement: "Imagine if that phrase [not enough prince] became part of the popular vernacular when dealing with young boys, and when dealing with young men in general. Image if all dishonorable male behavior could be viciously labelled as "not enough prince." ... Maybe men would start realizing that codes of chivalry don't just belong in Arthurian legend but create the foundation for respectful and compassionate behavior in this day and age as well. Maybe men would understand that real courage and real honor is not only refusing to demean women but speaking up when others do. Maybe one in three women would no longer be raped or beaten." I wonder: does Fine know what life was like in the 1500s for women? Does she know that Arthurian legend includes three violent rapes, one perpetrated by Arthur himself and one by his father, which resulted in Arthur's birth? Does she know what real princes in history were like - you know, the ones outside of the Disney stories? I don't have a problem with encouraging boys to behave "like a prince" if you define what that means - if it helps them create a mental image of kind and moral behavior, then that's great. I do have a problem with over-romanticizing a title and using it to imply that it would solve all the moral problems of our society.
Wrapping it all up - Fine wants us to know that we all have a princess inside of us just waiting to come out. We've suppressed her because that's what society has taught us to do, but she is there all the same. That's great and all, but even little girls know that having a princess inside you isn't the same as being an actual princess in an actual castle with an actual crown. If we're going to talk about princess-ly character qualities like kindness and courage and rising to the princess ideal, then okay. That's not a bad thing. But let's not pretend that these are inherent qualities of actual princesses. If anyone, including the Queen, demonstrates "steadiness, staying power, and self-sacrifice," it is because she was taught to be a woman of character, not because she is royal.
I love her defense of Disney princesses. Yes, there's more to Cinderella than a pretty face. There's more to Snow White than being tidy. And today's princesses are positively feminists. Let's stop writing off Disney princesses as shallow just because they are fairy tale characters. I also love her argument that loving feminine things doesn't make you weak or antifeminist. Female brains are biologically different from male brains, and we don't have to try to be something we aren't.
But.
Fine makes the error of assuming that her experiences are common to all women everywhere. For example: "I'm certain if you probed deep into the hearts of the fiercest fairytale critics, beneath all the bravado, you'd find the tender souls of traditionalists. Because, deep down, every little girl dreams of finding her Prince Charming - not just every little girl but every young woman, every old woman, in every country, in every century."
Wow. Not only is that a ridiculously broad statement, but it also writes off disagreeing viewpoints by asserting that deep down, her critics really agree with her.
But what really frustrated me was her discussion of real life princesses, both historical and modern. Fine paints a rosy picture of all princesses everywhere throughout time as strong, wise women who should serve as positive role models. Here are a few choice examples:
"Although many assume that royal men always have the upper hand, ordinary women wield more power than you think. After all...Henry VIII reshaped his nation's entire history to marry Anne Boleyn." (Seriously???? Anne was beheaded four years after her marriage because she failed to produce a male heir. Power? Really?)
"[When] they are officially crowned, these royal women have learned to look beyond themselves in every situation. While juggling the everyday demands of marriage and children (does anyone really think that Kate Middleton is experiencing marriage and children the way most of us do? Let's talk about nannies, tutors, housekeepers, and the army of other people whose job it is to help the royal family), they must remember to place the well-being of their realm before all else."
"Think of powerful women like Melinda Gates or Michelle Obama who are using their influence to eradicate third world poverty and disease, to fight child obesity, help homeless veterans, and ensure all girls get the education they deserve...Does it really matter how these women obtained their leverage?" (This quote is comparing the experiences of these women with those of princesses and queens who are born into their roles or marry into them. Melinda Gates and Michelle Obama are making the most of the position as the wives of prominent men to do good things. That's great, but let's all pause for a moment and remember that Bill Gates and Barack Obama were not born into power. They achieved their positions as the result of lots of very hard work. That's how it works in America. And in the case of the Obamas, they married long before Barack became the powerful leader he is today. Michelle did not marry into power.)
And one last one, just because it got under my skin:
"Royalty is ROMANTIC. And, for better or for worse, America's monarchy-free government lacks this distinctive allure...You simply can't escape the fact that the Windsor dynasty, with all its regal glamour and enchantment, is a lot more interesting than American dynasties made up of Bushes or Clintons...When Americans complain to me about elected politicians, I often joke that if [Americans have a minuscule impact upon public policy], we might as well go with the more glamorous royal option - at least we'd have more pomp and pageantry to brighten our days."
I just have no words. We're really going to compare systems of government based on how much glamour they have?
Fine also plays fast and loose with history and fact to make her point that princesses are awesome. She provides detailed descriptions of Diana, Grace Kelly, Jackie Kennedy, Evita, and Kate Middleton, but fails to mention Bloody Mary and Marie Antoinette, who used their power to persecute their people and/or indulge their own lavish consumption.
Of Kate Middleton, Fine says "When William is King, I predict his reign will become a co-regency in everything but name and Kate will become the shining sun around which the entire monarchy revolves. Because she keeps so much to herself, Kate may not be as emotionally satisfying as Diana, but as she settles into her new position, let us hope she finds a purpose, and a voice, beyond what is expected of her. She will be the country's sixth Queen Catherine. But with increasing wisdom and grace, perhaps she will go down in history as none other than 'Kate the Great'."
Oh my stars. Let's stop the fan-girling for a minute and remember that being a princess doesn't automatically give you wisdom and grace. All we see of the royals is the carefully curated press packs they dole out to us. We don't know what William and Kate's marriage is really like, or what kind of mother she is. We don't know anything about her. Is she really wise and kind? I hope so. But how would we know?
In her chapter on Princes, Fine makes this shocking statement: "Imagine if that phrase [not enough prince] became part of the popular vernacular when dealing with young boys, and when dealing with young men in general. Image if all dishonorable male behavior could be viciously labelled as "not enough prince." ... Maybe men would start realizing that codes of chivalry don't just belong in Arthurian legend but create the foundation for respectful and compassionate behavior in this day and age as well. Maybe men would understand that real courage and real honor is not only refusing to demean women but speaking up when others do. Maybe one in three women would no longer be raped or beaten." I wonder: does Fine know what life was like in the 1500s for women? Does she know that Arthurian legend includes three violent rapes, one perpetrated by Arthur himself and one by his father, which resulted in Arthur's birth? Does she know what real princes in history were like - you know, the ones outside of the Disney stories? I don't have a problem with encouraging boys to behave "like a prince" if you define what that means - if it helps them create a mental image of kind and moral behavior, then that's great. I do have a problem with over-romanticizing a title and using it to imply that it would solve all the moral problems of our society.
Wrapping it all up - Fine wants us to know that we all have a princess inside of us just waiting to come out. We've suppressed her because that's what society has taught us to do, but she is there all the same. That's great and all, but even little girls know that having a princess inside you isn't the same as being an actual princess in an actual castle with an actual crown. If we're going to talk about princess-ly character qualities like kindness and courage and rising to the princess ideal, then okay. That's not a bad thing. But let's not pretend that these are inherent qualities of actual princesses. If anyone, including the Queen, demonstrates "steadiness, staying power, and self-sacrifice," it is because she was taught to be a woman of character, not because she is royal.
May 6, 2016
(I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.)
It’s no secret that most girls, at some point, love all things princess: the poofy dresses, the plastic tiaras, the color pink. Even grown-up women can’t get enough of royal weddings and royal gossip. Yet critics claim the princess dream sets little girls up to be weak and submissive, and allows grown women to indulge in fantasies of rescue rather than hard work and self-reliance.
Enter Jerramy Fine – an unabashed feminist who is proud of her life-long princess obsession and more than happy to defend it. Through her amusing life story and in-depth research, Fine makes it clear that feminine doesn’t mean weak, pink doesn’t mean inferior, and girliness is not incompatible with ambition. From 9th century Cinderella to modern-day Frozen, from Princess Diana to Kate Middleton, from Wonder Woman to Princess Leia, Fine valiantly assures us that princesses have always been about power, not passivity. And those who love them can still be confident, intelligent women.
This was quite an interesting book. As the father of a little girl, I was fascinated to read what is essentially a book that goes against the current tide of how girls should be raised and the "sexualising" of play time.
I have always been of the belief that having role models in princesses was a good thing...until the last few years when the over-riding thought in society was that girls don't need to subscribe to that dated theory anymore - they can be whoever they want to be and that's that. They should look to artists and politicians and scientists for inspiration, not princesses. I could see the logic in that - there aren't too many jobs available for Barbie.
But, having read this book I can understand that aspiring to be a princess isn't all that bad. Lots of great examples are given - from Cinderella to Wonder Woman, from Princess Diana to Princess Leia - the author gives good, solid reasoning for young girls to always aim for who they want to be...and if that includes being a princess, then, as parents, we shouldn't deny them!
Paul
ARH
It’s no secret that most girls, at some point, love all things princess: the poofy dresses, the plastic tiaras, the color pink. Even grown-up women can’t get enough of royal weddings and royal gossip. Yet critics claim the princess dream sets little girls up to be weak and submissive, and allows grown women to indulge in fantasies of rescue rather than hard work and self-reliance.
Enter Jerramy Fine – an unabashed feminist who is proud of her life-long princess obsession and more than happy to defend it. Through her amusing life story and in-depth research, Fine makes it clear that feminine doesn’t mean weak, pink doesn’t mean inferior, and girliness is not incompatible with ambition. From 9th century Cinderella to modern-day Frozen, from Princess Diana to Kate Middleton, from Wonder Woman to Princess Leia, Fine valiantly assures us that princesses have always been about power, not passivity. And those who love them can still be confident, intelligent women.
This was quite an interesting book. As the father of a little girl, I was fascinated to read what is essentially a book that goes against the current tide of how girls should be raised and the "sexualising" of play time.
I have always been of the belief that having role models in princesses was a good thing...until the last few years when the over-riding thought in society was that girls don't need to subscribe to that dated theory anymore - they can be whoever they want to be and that's that. They should look to artists and politicians and scientists for inspiration, not princesses. I could see the logic in that - there aren't too many jobs available for Barbie.
But, having read this book I can understand that aspiring to be a princess isn't all that bad. Lots of great examples are given - from Cinderella to Wonder Woman, from Princess Diana to Princess Leia - the author gives good, solid reasoning for young girls to always aim for who they want to be...and if that includes being a princess, then, as parents, we shouldn't deny them!
Paul
ARH
March 17, 2016
Read this review and others on my blog: The Library Princess
**This review is based on an ARC from Netgalley, release date 3/22/16.
Well, let me start by saying there could not be a more perfect book for me to have come across. Obviously (hence the title Library Princess), I have always thought that I am a princess. It doesn’t hurt that my mom named me Sara, which means princess. I love all things princess, sparkly, and pink and am about the most girly person you will ever meet. I enjoyed the first part of this book and found I really related to the things that were being said. However, as the book went on, I did feel like it was a bit repetitive…keep in mind that I am NOT a nonfiction reader, so this was a stretch for me. I really did like reading about all the actual royal princesses as well and seeing the things they were all involved in. Overall, the writing style was good and the author was humorous, but this is definitely targeted to a specific audience. I do think I should recommend it to my some of my princess “critics” though…ahem, MOM. :) The overall theme is a good one, that princess are powerful, not weak and sensitive.
My favorite line (remember this is an ARC so it could change):
"Maybe instead of telling our girls that their brains are filled with too much princess, we should focus on telling our boys that their brains don't contain nearly enough prince."
Preach, sister! :)
**This review is based on an ARC from Netgalley, release date 3/22/16.
Well, let me start by saying there could not be a more perfect book for me to have come across. Obviously (hence the title Library Princess), I have always thought that I am a princess. It doesn’t hurt that my mom named me Sara, which means princess. I love all things princess, sparkly, and pink and am about the most girly person you will ever meet. I enjoyed the first part of this book and found I really related to the things that were being said. However, as the book went on, I did feel like it was a bit repetitive…keep in mind that I am NOT a nonfiction reader, so this was a stretch for me. I really did like reading about all the actual royal princesses as well and seeing the things they were all involved in. Overall, the writing style was good and the author was humorous, but this is definitely targeted to a specific audience. I do think I should recommend it to my some of my princess “critics” though…ahem, MOM. :) The overall theme is a good one, that princess are powerful, not weak and sensitive.
My favorite line (remember this is an ARC so it could change):
"Maybe instead of telling our girls that their brains are filled with too much princess, we should focus on telling our boys that their brains don't contain nearly enough prince."
Preach, sister! :)
November 27, 2016
This book was an absolutely amazing read, and I loved every second (though, it took me quite a few more seconds than normal to get through it. Cursed exams) of the author's passionate look upon the subject.
Princesses of all sorts are often targeted by many people today for varying issues including making little girls submissive and wishing to be rescued by someone that is never coming. That beloved stories actually support themes outside of their realm, and should be banned from coming in contact with young girls. The Princesses that are so beloved and hated in our society today are not the reasons for the issues that are faced by women today, and Mrs. Jerramy Fine does an excellent job at defending this cases.
Princesses are beings at the very threshold of the power that each woman is able to posses, and are just waiting to be able to claim it. Princesses cause change in their respective kingdoms and are caretakers for their people. They represent, no, personify a strength that is often looked down upon in society. Instead of looking down and convincing women of all ages to repress these desires to become something better that is personified in this way, we need to allow them to begin their reign as princesses and become the strong Queens that they were always meant to be.
I would highly recommend this book :)
Princesses of all sorts are often targeted by many people today for varying issues including making little girls submissive and wishing to be rescued by someone that is never coming. That beloved stories actually support themes outside of their realm, and should be banned from coming in contact with young girls. The Princesses that are so beloved and hated in our society today are not the reasons for the issues that are faced by women today, and Mrs. Jerramy Fine does an excellent job at defending this cases.
Princesses are beings at the very threshold of the power that each woman is able to posses, and are just waiting to be able to claim it. Princesses cause change in their respective kingdoms and are caretakers for their people. They represent, no, personify a strength that is often looked down upon in society. Instead of looking down and convincing women of all ages to repress these desires to become something better that is personified in this way, we need to allow them to begin their reign as princesses and become the strong Queens that they were always meant to be.
I would highly recommend this book :)
February 6, 2016
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
Honestly, I really wanted to love this book. The description was fun, the cover was cute, and I had just finished yet another contemporary romance that featured a prince, AKA everything pointed to the fact that I would love this book. Boy was I wrong.
The idea of this book is intriguing but I hated how opinionated this book was. The book was filled with the authors unending opinions with very little to back them up. She tears down other opinions and yet assumes that we all should agree with her. FYI, if you look at Beauty and the Beast he is emotionally abusive and holds her hostage by stating that if she doesn't stay her father's life is forfeit. Wow... great guy. This is also coming from someone who LOVES the movie. It is actually my favorite Disney movie. It's okay to see that the stories have issues.
This book frustrated me. Ultimately, I loved the concept but I was unimpressed with the final product.
Honestly, I really wanted to love this book. The description was fun, the cover was cute, and I had just finished yet another contemporary romance that featured a prince, AKA everything pointed to the fact that I would love this book. Boy was I wrong.
The idea of this book is intriguing but I hated how opinionated this book was. The book was filled with the authors unending opinions with very little to back them up. She tears down other opinions and yet assumes that we all should agree with her. FYI, if you look at Beauty and the Beast he is emotionally abusive and holds her hostage by stating that if she doesn't stay her father's life is forfeit. Wow... great guy. This is also coming from someone who LOVES the movie. It is actually my favorite Disney movie. It's okay to see that the stories have issues.
This book frustrated me. Ultimately, I loved the concept but I was unimpressed with the final product.
July 14, 2016
Just last night I was talking about how this book was fantastic because it touched on a subject that is not of popular opinion. Although I disagreed with a lot of her points being made, it was good to see the other side and some of it I even agreed with, but I think she focused too much on Disney Princesses as a whole. I reached the halfway point and had to stop. I couldn't finish the book. By this point I had grew tired of the repetitiveness of her narrative and felt as if she was just rewording points she had already made. All in all, the book is an interesting idea and full of some points that can make you sit and think about your own beliefs, but beyond that, I was unable to maintain focus.
February 1, 2016
As a mother of two princesses of my own, I liked how this book reinforced the fact that it is okay to encourage princess play. It took decade old arguments regarding the down falls of princess play, and explained how it is actually more empowering for a little girl to include and be encouraged to embrace the love of princesses. Citing the deeds of famous princess from Grace and Diana to Ariel and Aurora, by the time I finished this book, I decided that I am reclaiming my princess ties, and going to go about reencouraging princess play in both my daughters lives. This book had me laughing, reminiscing, and relating.
February 15, 2016
As a mother of two princesses of my own, I liked how this book reinforced the fact that it is okay to encourage princess play. It took decade old arguments regarding the down falls of princess play, and explained how it is actually more empowering for a little girl to include and be encouraged to embrace the love of princesses. Citing the deeds of famous princess from Grace and Diana to Ariel and Aurora, by the time I finished this book, I decided that I am reclaiming my princess ties, and going to go about reencouraging princess play in both my daughters lives. This book had me laughing, reminiscing, and relating.
August 16, 2017
The first half of this book is fantastic. Fine does an excellent job of discussing the important attributes all of us can take away from princesses past and present, fictional and non-fictional. However, the book kind of stalls halfway through and Fine slips into blatant generalizations without a whole lot of evidence to back them up. Which, unfortunately, kind of diminishes her points that were so strong in the beginning.
However, if you have a hard time putting into words how you can love Disney princesses and also love feminism, I highly recommend reading this book (at least the first half).
However, if you have a hard time putting into words how you can love Disney princesses and also love feminism, I highly recommend reading this book (at least the first half).
July 2, 2017
I can honestly say I have been waiting for this book my entire life. OMG, finally, someone who gets it! Really gets it.
Jerramy Fine tackles the Princess naysayers out there with the grace and eloquence befitting Princess herself. Quite frankly, she couldn’t be more right in her arguments. I completely agree with her, and have felt this way for a long time. She just put it beautifully into words that I will always cherish.
She argues that whether you are a little girl or a big (adult) girl, there is nothing wrong with you for liking Princess Culture, as she calls it. You are not weak or silly and there is no reason why you can't be "girly" and also be a feminist, as she herself is – and I am too. AMEN to that!
Fine has a unique perspective, having grown up with "Hippie" parents who did not let her near anything Princessy when she was a child. YET, she was always fascinated with them! I have also always liked the idea of a Princess, even though the Disney Princess Franchise did not begin until I was well into my twenties. She also tells of other girls whose stories prove that nobody is being brainwashed by Disney.
My favorite part of the book is a section called "It Didn't Start with Disney." Meaning Disney could not make the loads of money they do on their Princesses if the interest was not already there. To paraphrase the Billy Joel song, "Disney didn't start the fire." It actually started ages ago. Fine makes a good point that no one ever acknowledges: these fairy tales are very, very old - they have existed so long because they have inherent appeal. They have inherent appeal because The Princess is an Archetypal character that all women recognize and can relate to. This is why Princess Stories are found in just about every culture round the globe. This phenomenon is much bigger than any one company.
Once she finishes defending the Disney Princesses, she moves on to other princesses such as Princess Leia and She-Ra. Even Wonder Woman, she points out, IS A PRINCESS! This directly ties into the new Wonder Woman movie. Most of the Greek Goddesses are princesses as well, especially Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and daughter of Zeus, the King of the Gods. Zeus was also the father of Aries, the God of War, who is at odds with Wonder Woman in the movie. This is the struggle of Male vs. Female power.
These days, the term "Inner Goddess" is acceptable, but Inner Princess is not. Why? When they mean the same thing. Basically, she shows how being in touch with your Inner Princess simply means being in touch with your Feminine Power. This power is something that is badly needed to heal the world, and this explains why the appeal of the Princess is gaining strength. Little girls understand their Feminine Power instinctively, until they are told that they should not like Princesses, or the color pink, or even just being pretty and girly. Girls have a right to be girls, just like boys have always had the right to be boys. The societal idea that being girly is somehow wrong is just another remnant of Patriarchy. Once again, AMEN.
She also takes on real-life princesses around the world. Fine was so fascinated with princesses and royalty that she actually moved to London to be near the real Royal family. I have to admit that my love of the Disney Princesses has never really extended to real life Royals. But still, she makes a good case for how they should not be belittled and are good examples for girls to aspire to because they usually are involved with a lot of charity work. Rather than discourage a girl from playing Princess, she suggests how to talk to girls about what it really means to be one: you have to care about the good of your people; you have to be kind and strong, make the world a better place, etc.
All in all, this is an insanely empowering book that everyone should read; I can't thank the author enough for writing it, and I can’t thank my friend, a fellow Princess fan, enough for giving me a copy!
Jerramy Fine tackles the Princess naysayers out there with the grace and eloquence befitting Princess herself. Quite frankly, she couldn’t be more right in her arguments. I completely agree with her, and have felt this way for a long time. She just put it beautifully into words that I will always cherish.
She argues that whether you are a little girl or a big (adult) girl, there is nothing wrong with you for liking Princess Culture, as she calls it. You are not weak or silly and there is no reason why you can't be "girly" and also be a feminist, as she herself is – and I am too. AMEN to that!
Fine has a unique perspective, having grown up with "Hippie" parents who did not let her near anything Princessy when she was a child. YET, she was always fascinated with them! I have also always liked the idea of a Princess, even though the Disney Princess Franchise did not begin until I was well into my twenties. She also tells of other girls whose stories prove that nobody is being brainwashed by Disney.
My favorite part of the book is a section called "It Didn't Start with Disney." Meaning Disney could not make the loads of money they do on their Princesses if the interest was not already there. To paraphrase the Billy Joel song, "Disney didn't start the fire." It actually started ages ago. Fine makes a good point that no one ever acknowledges: these fairy tales are very, very old - they have existed so long because they have inherent appeal. They have inherent appeal because The Princess is an Archetypal character that all women recognize and can relate to. This is why Princess Stories are found in just about every culture round the globe. This phenomenon is much bigger than any one company.
Once she finishes defending the Disney Princesses, she moves on to other princesses such as Princess Leia and She-Ra. Even Wonder Woman, she points out, IS A PRINCESS! This directly ties into the new Wonder Woman movie. Most of the Greek Goddesses are princesses as well, especially Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and daughter of Zeus, the King of the Gods. Zeus was also the father of Aries, the God of War, who is at odds with Wonder Woman in the movie. This is the struggle of Male vs. Female power.
These days, the term "Inner Goddess" is acceptable, but Inner Princess is not. Why? When they mean the same thing. Basically, she shows how being in touch with your Inner Princess simply means being in touch with your Feminine Power. This power is something that is badly needed to heal the world, and this explains why the appeal of the Princess is gaining strength. Little girls understand their Feminine Power instinctively, until they are told that they should not like Princesses, or the color pink, or even just being pretty and girly. Girls have a right to be girls, just like boys have always had the right to be boys. The societal idea that being girly is somehow wrong is just another remnant of Patriarchy. Once again, AMEN.
She also takes on real-life princesses around the world. Fine was so fascinated with princesses and royalty that she actually moved to London to be near the real Royal family. I have to admit that my love of the Disney Princesses has never really extended to real life Royals. But still, she makes a good case for how they should not be belittled and are good examples for girls to aspire to because they usually are involved with a lot of charity work. Rather than discourage a girl from playing Princess, she suggests how to talk to girls about what it really means to be one: you have to care about the good of your people; you have to be kind and strong, make the world a better place, etc.
All in all, this is an insanely empowering book that everyone should read; I can't thank the author enough for writing it, and I can’t thank my friend, a fellow Princess fan, enough for giving me a copy!
November 12, 2020
I actually agree with a lot of Fine's statements in this book. Essentially her concept revolves around the fact that traits that are typically coded as "feminine" aren't lesser (even when combined with princesses). I agree with this. And I think she dances around the edges of a few other important concepts: gender neutral should not equal masculine, boys should be held to a higher standard of conduct, and that patriarchy hasn't done that great for us as a society.
However, she lost me in a few spots. She walks a thin line of digging on feminists even while agreeing that she is one and saying that women shouldn't be dismissive of other women for liking "feminine" things. I would say that feminism completely agrees with that concept. Maybe this is more of a new wave of feminism than her mother. But it was jarring in certain spots. I also would say this is a pretty cisgender, heterosexual and white look at every aspect. Although she eludes to a transgender writer and assigned gender at birth, she also focuses on weird gender essentialism that claims that women are biologically driven to pink and princesses. She also talks a lot about "finding a prince" when talking about finding love in a way that erases the possibility of a princess finding another princess or a prince finding another prince. Finally, while she does mention a few Princesses who are non-European in her chapter on real princesses, she doesn't mention race any where else in the text (or technically in that chapter).
However, she lost me in a few spots. She walks a thin line of digging on feminists even while agreeing that she is one and saying that women shouldn't be dismissive of other women for liking "feminine" things. I would say that feminism completely agrees with that concept. Maybe this is more of a new wave of feminism than her mother. But it was jarring in certain spots. I also would say this is a pretty cisgender, heterosexual and white look at every aspect. Although she eludes to a transgender writer and assigned gender at birth, she also focuses on weird gender essentialism that claims that women are biologically driven to pink and princesses. She also talks a lot about "finding a prince" when talking about finding love in a way that erases the possibility of a princess finding another princess or a prince finding another prince. Finally, while she does mention a few Princesses who are non-European in her chapter on real princesses, she doesn't mention race any where else in the text (or technically in that chapter).
May 12, 2020
This book struck a chord with me in all the best ways. I am a feminist. I am a lover of the color pink. I count Disney’s Belle as one of my personal idols. These facts can coexist.
Jerramy Fine explores a side of feminism that is often overlooked, one that embraces its femininity among the inherent strengths of women. I was particularly interested in her arguments in favor of Disney princesses that run as a thread throughout the book.
As someone who grew up in the Disney Renaissance watching hours of my favorite VHS tapes, I appreciated her arguments regarding the strength of each heroine and their respectable personality traits. No joke, I wrote a paper for a Women’s Studies course in college where I argued that Disney Princesses across generations were feminist reflections of their time.
Fine challenges naysayers head on with rebuttals to many of the most common criticisms of these beloved characters. I found myself nodding in agreement and snapping along in approval the whole time.
She then ties those qualities to real life royalty to be admired and the feminine power of our own inner princess. I appreciated the themes of sovereignty, inner beauty, kindness and a passion for serving others at the heart of this book. The fundamental idea of a Princess is more than just a crown, a frilly pink dress and pretty face. It’s about recognizing these esteemed virtues in each woman and being an ally to all.
Jerramy Fine explores a side of feminism that is often overlooked, one that embraces its femininity among the inherent strengths of women. I was particularly interested in her arguments in favor of Disney princesses that run as a thread throughout the book.
As someone who grew up in the Disney Renaissance watching hours of my favorite VHS tapes, I appreciated her arguments regarding the strength of each heroine and their respectable personality traits. No joke, I wrote a paper for a Women’s Studies course in college where I argued that Disney Princesses across generations were feminist reflections of their time.
Fine challenges naysayers head on with rebuttals to many of the most common criticisms of these beloved characters. I found myself nodding in agreement and snapping along in approval the whole time.
She then ties those qualities to real life royalty to be admired and the feminine power of our own inner princess. I appreciated the themes of sovereignty, inner beauty, kindness and a passion for serving others at the heart of this book. The fundamental idea of a Princess is more than just a crown, a frilly pink dress and pretty face. It’s about recognizing these esteemed virtues in each woman and being an ally to all.
August 4, 2017
Ah, princess culture. Pink, fluffy dresses, sparkly tiaras, perfect smiles, and the ability to communicate with the animal kingdom. Hmm, I'll take at least two of those without a second thought.
Fine essentially argues the various ways that princess culture is actually an asset for young girls, teen girls, and adult women. Fine cites various sources, like Bruno Bettelheim, to point out all of the positive aspects that the princess archetype exposes readers (and viewers, in the case of movies) to. I personally enjoyed reading about the real-life princesses and queens-- I used to follow the British monarchs through my mom's subscription to Vanidades... there is something really alluring about those royals.
In full disclosure, I read Orenstein's "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" earlier this year which essentially argues that young girls are pushed into a pink, sparkly princess trap that ends up in short-term disappointment and long-term damage. I agreed with a lot of Orenstein's points, just as I agree with many of Fine's points... which leads me to think that in this battle of the princess, there is room for us to acknowledge she's badass but also know that she isn't perfect.
Fine essentially argues the various ways that princess culture is actually an asset for young girls, teen girls, and adult women. Fine cites various sources, like Bruno Bettelheim, to point out all of the positive aspects that the princess archetype exposes readers (and viewers, in the case of movies) to. I personally enjoyed reading about the real-life princesses and queens-- I used to follow the British monarchs through my mom's subscription to Vanidades... there is something really alluring about those royals.
In full disclosure, I read Orenstein's "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" earlier this year which essentially argues that young girls are pushed into a pink, sparkly princess trap that ends up in short-term disappointment and long-term damage. I agreed with a lot of Orenstein's points, just as I agree with many of Fine's points... which leads me to think that in this battle of the princess, there is room for us to acknowledge she's badass but also know that she isn't perfect.
June 26, 2021
This is not your typical book. Not mine either. The title and premise are ambitious and though the writer isn't a scientist or the best researcher, she is a feminist in her own right and she does open the discussion of what a princess really means and why it shouldn't be scary. I think she convinced me on many issue though not all and that navigating parenting toddlers in our consumerist society is not easy but can be maneuvered into positivity rather than simply saying no. The writer was also genuine and sharing. Her life is a testament to her ideas which is refreshing and not to be taking into granted and although she is not your typical feminist she is right about allowing the emphasis of femininity inside the frame of feminism. As a mother of daughter, I too tried to steer my daughter away from pink, princess, and mothering Barbies, dragons and babies but there's no point. So I am embracing it and finding a better balance and a better explanation/wording to attach to the animated film or play.
I enjoyed the part on live abd deceased real princesses. There was weakness in how the chapters ended but she ended the book on a better note.
I enjoyed the part on live abd deceased real princesses. There was weakness in how the chapters ended but she ended the book on a better note.
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