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The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World
Learn the tools to shed your mask of extroversion, develop your own magnetism, and reveal the true you. "A great morale-booster for introverts." — Library Journal
One third to one half of Americans are introverts in a culture that celebrates—even enforces—an ideal of extroversion and a cult of personality. Political leaders are charismatic, celebrities bask in the spotlight, and authority figures are assertive. It is no surprise that a “quiet revolution” has begun to emerge among the “invisible” half of the population, asserting that they are just as powerful in their own unique ways.
The Irresistible Introvert embodies the spirit of this revival and breaks down the myth that charisma is reserved for extroverts only. This mini manifesto shows introverts how to master the art of quiet magnetism in a noisy world—no gregariousness required! Within these pages, you’ll discover how to shed the mask of extroversion and reveal a more compelling (and authentic) you. You’ll also learn how
As a “professional” charismatic introvert, author Michaela Chung demonstrates that you no longer have to forcefully push yourself outward into the world against your nature, but can rather magnetize people inward toward the true you. In the process, you’ll learn to embrace your “innie life” and discover potential you never knew you had.
One third to one half of Americans are introverts in a culture that celebrates—even enforces—an ideal of extroversion and a cult of personality. Political leaders are charismatic, celebrities bask in the spotlight, and authority figures are assertive. It is no surprise that a “quiet revolution” has begun to emerge among the “invisible” half of the population, asserting that they are just as powerful in their own unique ways.
The Irresistible Introvert embodies the spirit of this revival and breaks down the myth that charisma is reserved for extroverts only. This mini manifesto shows introverts how to master the art of quiet magnetism in a noisy world—no gregariousness required! Within these pages, you’ll discover how to shed the mask of extroversion and reveal a more compelling (and authentic) you. You’ll also learn how
As a “professional” charismatic introvert, author Michaela Chung demonstrates that you no longer have to forcefully push yourself outward into the world against your nature, but can rather magnetize people inward toward the true you. In the process, you’ll learn to embrace your “innie life” and discover potential you never knew you had.
199 pages, Paperback
First published July 5, 2016
359 people are currently reading
2780 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 133 reviews
July 16, 2016
This book is more pop psychology than psychology and more memoir than academic. I was hoping for a book more along the lines of "Dyslexic Advantage" and "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking", but this book felt more like a rant against a world that doesn't treat introverts well. While that catharsis can be enjoyable, it doesn't really speak towards the "Irresistible" part in the title. There was also several parts of the book where she writes about aspects as if they are part of introversion when I'm pretty sure that that's just part of her personality. If you want to learn about introverts then read "Quiet". if you want a memoir of an introvert, then this is your book.
March 17, 2017
I took the official Myers-Briggs test (the one you pay for and mail in for assessment) and scored an 8/100 on the extrovertion scale. Or, I'm 92% introverted, if you like. Either way, I've spent my whole life retreating to a fortress of solitude to recharge and recover from people-overload. Yes, introversion is a thing. Yes, the world at large seems predominantly extroverted.
No, complaining about it is not going to help.
I don't think introverts want a manifesto as much as they want to understand their differences and learn how to turn them to their own advantage. Maximize their strengths. Overcome or minimize their weaknesses. Therefore, the appeal of books with titles like "The Irresistible Introvert." The subtitle promises introverts how to "Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World." Introversion as a superpower? Yes, please.
Unfortunately, the author uses much of the book to complain about how the (mostly extroverted) world doesn't fit with her (introverted) personality. Considering who would read a book like this in the first place, all of this "Hey, I'm one of you! Let me show you that I understand your struggle..." felt like preaching to the choir at best, narcissistic ranting at worst.
After several chapters of help-i'm-an-introvert-trapped-in-an-extroverted-world, I wished she would get to the useful part. You know, the part about being irresistible? The part about harnessing power? That part DOES exist, but you'll wade through much more I-me-my, about halfway through the book, to get to it.
This book could easily be reduced to a 4-star pamphlet if the author and editor would have stuck to the synopsis: "Learn the tools to shed your mask of extroversion, develop your own magnetism, and reveal the true you." This would have required cutting out all the extroverted-world bashing and my-life-as-an-introvert, or at least confining it to the introduction. The remaining information would be useful, albeit thin. Tips on awareness, your position in the room, engaging in conversation, etc. were good, but not quite worthy of making introverts "irresistible."
The writing is very accessible. Conversational, not college-level. The short length makes this a fast read timewise, but I'd still recommend skimming until you get to the info that tries to deliver on the book's promise.
No, complaining about it is not going to help.
I don't think introverts want a manifesto as much as they want to understand their differences and learn how to turn them to their own advantage. Maximize their strengths. Overcome or minimize their weaknesses. Therefore, the appeal of books with titles like "The Irresistible Introvert." The subtitle promises introverts how to "Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World." Introversion as a superpower? Yes, please.
Unfortunately, the author uses much of the book to complain about how the (mostly extroverted) world doesn't fit with her (introverted) personality. Considering who would read a book like this in the first place, all of this "Hey, I'm one of you! Let me show you that I understand your struggle..." felt like preaching to the choir at best, narcissistic ranting at worst.
After several chapters of help-i'm-an-introvert-trapped-in-an-extroverted-world, I wished she would get to the useful part. You know, the part about being irresistible? The part about harnessing power? That part DOES exist, but you'll wade through much more I-me-my, about halfway through the book, to get to it.
This book could easily be reduced to a 4-star pamphlet if the author and editor would have stuck to the synopsis: "Learn the tools to shed your mask of extroversion, develop your own magnetism, and reveal the true you." This would have required cutting out all the extroverted-world bashing and my-life-as-an-introvert, or at least confining it to the introduction. The remaining information would be useful, albeit thin. Tips on awareness, your position in the room, engaging in conversation, etc. were good, but not quite worthy of making introverts "irresistible."
The writing is very accessible. Conversational, not college-level. The short length makes this a fast read timewise, but I'd still recommend skimming until you get to the info that tries to deliver on the book's promise.
August 7, 2016
I'm going to practice my resting bitch face.
January 26, 2018
Two things first: the title will make you expect a more traditional self-help book. And it was helpful, just not in the way I expected. Reviews criticize Chung for using too many anecdotes, but they served to illustrate thought processes I felt alone in. Secondly, look elsewhere (like Susan Cain's Quiet) if you want a more complete scientific and social assessment of introversion. Chung's is more specifically about the emotional angle to introversion, so it resonated with me personally. I was so stunned by how deeply it affected me. It brought me to tears.
July 31, 2017
Wish I'd read this in my twenties!
I rarely give five stars, but just the introduction to this book had me screaming (internally, of course) "Yes! That is SO me!" Finally, information that explains much of my behavior (hating to talk on the phone for one) that others don't get and that even I never understood. Read this book if you are an introvert or are in a relationship with an introvert. I even read parts of it to my husband, who kept saying, " That's definitely you!" Wonderful book with lots of examples.
I rarely give five stars, but just the introduction to this book had me screaming (internally, of course) "Yes! That is SO me!" Finally, information that explains much of my behavior (hating to talk on the phone for one) that others don't get and that even I never understood. Read this book if you are an introvert or are in a relationship with an introvert. I even read parts of it to my husband, who kept saying, " That's definitely you!" Wonderful book with lots of examples.
November 3, 2018
Honestly, I'm not really sure why I finished the book. It felt an awful lot like just patting yourself on the back for being an introvert and hating on extroverts. I was hoping for more insightful advice, but instead was told to 'not go out if you don't want to' which I feel is a pretty obvious tip for introverts.
While I appreciated the reminders to notice activities that drain energy and those that replenish it, to find quiet places free of stimulation and also the encouragement to find activities which we are in flow with, these were all tips I had heard elsewhere. I didn't really connect with the author and found her writing style cheesy and indulgent. I also felt like she created this dichotomy of them and us with introverts and extroverts, when in reality it is much blurrier. The section on push-pull socializing (which was about two pages) was probably the most interesting, and I wish she had spent more time discussing examples like those.
I think it may be useful for others, but I was not into it.
While I appreciated the reminders to notice activities that drain energy and those that replenish it, to find quiet places free of stimulation and also the encouragement to find activities which we are in flow with, these were all tips I had heard elsewhere. I didn't really connect with the author and found her writing style cheesy and indulgent. I also felt like she created this dichotomy of them and us with introverts and extroverts, when in reality it is much blurrier. The section on push-pull socializing (which was about two pages) was probably the most interesting, and I wish she had spent more time discussing examples like those.
I think it may be useful for others, but I was not into it.
May 24, 2019
I started this....years ago, and just went back to it since I've been feeling kind of overwhelmed with social anxiety lately. There is much more extrovert bashing than advice. Sure, we've all been frustrated with living in a extroverted world, but this book lingers on that so much that it feels mean-spirited. After skimming the rest, the advice for introverts isn't anything remarkable.
January 5, 2017
My fellow book lovers, does any of the following sound familiar?
“You need to participate more in class.”
“You’re too quiet. Speak up!”
“Get out more! Socialize! Stop being such a hermit.”
“What do you mean you’re leaving early? The fun is just beginning!”
If you’ve heard these phrases countless times, most likely you are an introvert, as am I. And so is Michaela Chung, introvert coach, writer, entrepreneur and now the author of The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World.
The Irresistible Introvert is a mix of memoir, manifesto and self-help that combines Chung’s personal struggles with introversion, celebrates the unique traits of introversion and finally, offers sound advice on how to navigate both the professional and personal realm as introvert in a society that favors extroverts.
There is a myth that introverts aren’t as cool or as interesting as extroverts. Chung blows this myth out of the water by relaying her story of selling her belongings so she could travel the world. I’d love to sit down with her and listen to her globe-trotting adventures. Furthermore, we could bond over our love of dancing, salsa dancing for her, belly dancing for me.
But Chung also shares a lot of the pain and confusion she dealt with as an introvert. She often felt out of sorts with her most extroverted peers. Teachers would admonish her with the ideas that introverts are withdrawn, anti-social and depressed. At times, she felt over-whelmed and over-stimulated by the outside world, which she thought made her deeply flawed.
While reading these passages, I couldn’t help but nod my head in introverted alliance with Chung. Like, her I thought I was horribly flawed because of my introverted nature. It’s only in the past few years, I’ve been able to feel comfortable with being an introvert, and even celebrate it a bit in my quiet and discreet manner.
Throughout the Irresistible Introvert Chung discusses things that affect many introverts such as clutter, noise and being overwhelmed on making certain decisions. I know for myself, I am often overwhelmed by huge parties, crowds (I avoid Black Friday because of this), obnoxious speaking voices, and open office spaces hinder my ability to produce and work productively. Introverts need to be aware of these issues, and using the ebb and flow of our introverted energy to cope with these things as we face them. Fortunately, there are practical tips in Chung’s book that helps us do just that. And these tips also reminded me of some things I do personally when I feel over-whelmed like deep breathing and meditation, exercise and escaping into my favorite solo activities after a rather busy, challenging day like baking, reading or crafting.
Now what about being an Irresistible Introvert? How do we go about doing that? Well, one way is just by accepting our introversion, and cherishing and celebrating those introverted traits that make us interesting, lovable and charming. Let’s face it; despite introversion being a bit more understood that it was as little as five years ago, extroversion is still considered ideal. We live in world where so many people are clamoring for attention whether it be through social media, reality TV or by never shutting up, talking about topics that are totally TMI on a multitude of topics-sex, families, work, money and political persuasions.
It’s all so maddening and obnoxious. And perhaps this is where being an introvert is a plus, not a minus. Let’s harness our more quiet, thoughtful and mysterious qualities and softly shine them into the world. It just might be a very welcome reprieve.
Throughout Chung gives practical advice that help introverts navigate the world both professionally and personally. She has down-to-earth advice on shedding the mask of introversion, using one’s energy to achieve positive engagements, the best communication skills for introverts, establishing intimacy comfortable for introverts and a lot more. This practical advice includes both verbal and non-verbal communication.
The Irresistible Introvert is written in a down-to-earth and charming manner. Not quite as thorough as Susan Cain’s iconic book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Chung’s book is still a worthwhile read for both introverts and the extroverts who love them.
Originally published at the Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...
“You need to participate more in class.”
“You’re too quiet. Speak up!”
“Get out more! Socialize! Stop being such a hermit.”
“What do you mean you’re leaving early? The fun is just beginning!”
If you’ve heard these phrases countless times, most likely you are an introvert, as am I. And so is Michaela Chung, introvert coach, writer, entrepreneur and now the author of The Irresistible Introvert: Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World.
The Irresistible Introvert is a mix of memoir, manifesto and self-help that combines Chung’s personal struggles with introversion, celebrates the unique traits of introversion and finally, offers sound advice on how to navigate both the professional and personal realm as introvert in a society that favors extroverts.
There is a myth that introverts aren’t as cool or as interesting as extroverts. Chung blows this myth out of the water by relaying her story of selling her belongings so she could travel the world. I’d love to sit down with her and listen to her globe-trotting adventures. Furthermore, we could bond over our love of dancing, salsa dancing for her, belly dancing for me.
But Chung also shares a lot of the pain and confusion she dealt with as an introvert. She often felt out of sorts with her most extroverted peers. Teachers would admonish her with the ideas that introverts are withdrawn, anti-social and depressed. At times, she felt over-whelmed and over-stimulated by the outside world, which she thought made her deeply flawed.
While reading these passages, I couldn’t help but nod my head in introverted alliance with Chung. Like, her I thought I was horribly flawed because of my introverted nature. It’s only in the past few years, I’ve been able to feel comfortable with being an introvert, and even celebrate it a bit in my quiet and discreet manner.
Throughout the Irresistible Introvert Chung discusses things that affect many introverts such as clutter, noise and being overwhelmed on making certain decisions. I know for myself, I am often overwhelmed by huge parties, crowds (I avoid Black Friday because of this), obnoxious speaking voices, and open office spaces hinder my ability to produce and work productively. Introverts need to be aware of these issues, and using the ebb and flow of our introverted energy to cope with these things as we face them. Fortunately, there are practical tips in Chung’s book that helps us do just that. And these tips also reminded me of some things I do personally when I feel over-whelmed like deep breathing and meditation, exercise and escaping into my favorite solo activities after a rather busy, challenging day like baking, reading or crafting.
Now what about being an Irresistible Introvert? How do we go about doing that? Well, one way is just by accepting our introversion, and cherishing and celebrating those introverted traits that make us interesting, lovable and charming. Let’s face it; despite introversion being a bit more understood that it was as little as five years ago, extroversion is still considered ideal. We live in world where so many people are clamoring for attention whether it be through social media, reality TV or by never shutting up, talking about topics that are totally TMI on a multitude of topics-sex, families, work, money and political persuasions.
It’s all so maddening and obnoxious. And perhaps this is where being an introvert is a plus, not a minus. Let’s harness our more quiet, thoughtful and mysterious qualities and softly shine them into the world. It just might be a very welcome reprieve.
Throughout Chung gives practical advice that help introverts navigate the world both professionally and personally. She has down-to-earth advice on shedding the mask of introversion, using one’s energy to achieve positive engagements, the best communication skills for introverts, establishing intimacy comfortable for introverts and a lot more. This practical advice includes both verbal and non-verbal communication.
The Irresistible Introvert is written in a down-to-earth and charming manner. Not quite as thorough as Susan Cain’s iconic book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Chung’s book is still a worthwhile read for both introverts and the extroverts who love them.
Originally published at the Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...
November 29, 2021
This book—and Chapter 6 in particular—has left me feeling more seen than almost anything else I can remember. I honestly thought this was going to be very hokey and precious, but I could cry with relief from all the sense–making this book did.
November 14, 2016
Several of the tips offered in the first part of "Irresistible Introvert" provided practical skills for reigning in worrisome thoughts and managing emotions. We can all use the reminder that not every thought nor every feeling is worth dwelling on. Viewing thoughts as runaway horses and coaching ourselves with third-person encouragement are useful suggestions. Unfortunately, author Michaela Chung spent more time than necessary reflecting on her own experiences. She frequently mentioned the introvert tendency to be most at home in one's own thoughts. While true, thoughtful ones may need more encouragement to step outside our own heads. Failure to do so does not make us irresistible, rather we are seen as aloof and even narcissistic. Chung touched on introverts' abilities to observe and listen well. These are the skills that need to be emphasized and developed by introverts hoping to make a place for themselves in a noisy world.
June 30, 2019
Not a fan
I bought this book a while back to learn how to better navigate the world as an introvert and really enjoyed the first 4 or 5 chapters. Then it started turning really New Age, talking about self-love and our inner power. I believe in the importance of accepting myself as an introvert but as a Christian I thought it crossed the line about halfway through and started putting introverts on a pedestal that made me uncomfortable. There are things I will definitely take away from the first few chapters but I have no intention of finishing, reading it again and wouldn’t suggest it to my friends.
I bought this book a while back to learn how to better navigate the world as an introvert and really enjoyed the first 4 or 5 chapters. Then it started turning really New Age, talking about self-love and our inner power. I believe in the importance of accepting myself as an introvert but as a Christian I thought it crossed the line about halfway through and started putting introverts on a pedestal that made me uncomfortable. There are things I will definitely take away from the first few chapters but I have no intention of finishing, reading it again and wouldn’t suggest it to my friends.
June 16, 2017
She was too negative about introversion for my taste.
August 14, 2017
TLDR: The book felt confused in genre and left me wanting more outside help with her claims and ideas, but I did glean plenty of notes for myself as an introvert who hadn't read any introvert books yet.
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I'm an introvert who hasn't read any books on introversion before. I hadn't read the author's blog or heard of this book before picking it up from my mom's coffee table, but having never read anything on introversion I couldn't resist -- plus it was a quick read.
The book felt like a confused cross between a memoir and a self-help book for introverts; this came through in the form of many generalizations about introverts that felt mostly derived from her experience. She seems to have a large following and is a coach for introverts, so I understand she speaks from personal and professional experience, but she didn't do a good enough job for me of supporting her claims. I didn't need it to be heavily cited and researched, but it did call for more outside input than it had, and needed more clarity around what was all her perspective, what she picked up from experience, etc. I just wonder if this would have been better off as a more researched version of what she wrote with memoir tucked in separately.
I'm going to talk more about the things that I didn't love, but I do want to say that I feel some of the goals the author wanted to help people meet are not goals of mine, which also colored how I read the book. I did take plenty out of it and didn't want to stop reading because there definitely were valuable strategies, as well as stories or sections that really resonated with me or felt like they could be of help.
The book did also have a blog style to it, switching style and tone often, which isn't a style I enjoy.
I also think there was some conflation of social anxiety and introversion, though I know personally of the overlap. I know you can't spend a whole book disclaiming that each story or topic doesn't apply to everyone, but I think sprinkling in more research could have helped with this.
I also found she often set herself up to provide a solution or strategy but was really just telling people to change and not how. However, many times she did provide concrete strategies which I noted for myself.
There were a handful of gendered assumptions that bothered me. Also bothersome were various mistakes in grammar and word choice, but I only mention that as I know some people can't get through a book with those kinds of issues.
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I'm an introvert who hasn't read any books on introversion before. I hadn't read the author's blog or heard of this book before picking it up from my mom's coffee table, but having never read anything on introversion I couldn't resist -- plus it was a quick read.
The book felt like a confused cross between a memoir and a self-help book for introverts; this came through in the form of many generalizations about introverts that felt mostly derived from her experience. She seems to have a large following and is a coach for introverts, so I understand she speaks from personal and professional experience, but she didn't do a good enough job for me of supporting her claims. I didn't need it to be heavily cited and researched, but it did call for more outside input than it had, and needed more clarity around what was all her perspective, what she picked up from experience, etc. I just wonder if this would have been better off as a more researched version of what she wrote with memoir tucked in separately.
I'm going to talk more about the things that I didn't love, but I do want to say that I feel some of the goals the author wanted to help people meet are not goals of mine, which also colored how I read the book. I did take plenty out of it and didn't want to stop reading because there definitely were valuable strategies, as well as stories or sections that really resonated with me or felt like they could be of help.
The book did also have a blog style to it, switching style and tone often, which isn't a style I enjoy.
I also think there was some conflation of social anxiety and introversion, though I know personally of the overlap. I know you can't spend a whole book disclaiming that each story or topic doesn't apply to everyone, but I think sprinkling in more research could have helped with this.
I also found she often set herself up to provide a solution or strategy but was really just telling people to change and not how. However, many times she did provide concrete strategies which I noted for myself.
There were a handful of gendered assumptions that bothered me. Also bothersome were various mistakes in grammar and word choice, but I only mention that as I know some people can't get through a book with those kinds of issues.
April 28, 2022
Michaela Chung's "The Irresistible Introvert" reminded me a lot of Susan Cain's excellent book "Quiet". Chung is a self-identified introvert who takes readers through her journey of finding her confidence and voice in the world. The first part of the book explains how to embrace and own your introversion in an often extrovert-focused society, while the second part of the book details how to use your strengths as an introvert to connect with others and find happiness and peace in life.
Chung's writing is straightforward, concise and easy to understand. She provides lots of good reminders that being an introvert can be a strength, even in loud social situations. She illustrates her points with research and personal anecdotes that are relatable and encouraging.
I didn't learn a ton of new information (I've researched introversion on my own journey for nearly a decade now), but her book is a great refresher and reminder to introverts that you offer value and can make meaningful contributions in social settings and everywhere else.
Chung's writing is straightforward, concise and easy to understand. She provides lots of good reminders that being an introvert can be a strength, even in loud social situations. She illustrates her points with research and personal anecdotes that are relatable and encouraging.
I didn't learn a ton of new information (I've researched introversion on my own journey for nearly a decade now), but her book is a great refresher and reminder to introverts that you offer value and can make meaningful contributions in social settings and everywhere else.
June 26, 2024
For some reason there seem to be more books on introversion than on extraversion; this could not hold my attention for too long; it quickly felt like a protracted pat on the shoulder for introverts, which is not helpful in any meaningful way; be sure to check out Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking instead.
September 5, 2022
I quite enjoyed Michaela's book on the irresistible introvert. It was a short read but really helped me to more closely identify with my inner introvert. I appreciated the sprinkling of client scenarios/stories throughout each chapter that I could easily identify. My only wish is that she expanded more on introverted intimacy as I find dating and intimacy difficult due to tenancy to overanalyze and hypothesise worst case scenarios.
August 27, 2023
Throughout this book Chung talks about how much “us introverts” hate being spoken for, while speaking on behalf of all introverts…
i have genuinely never read anything so deluded with self-pity and loathing as this book.
Every single line begs for sympathy for introverts and criticises extroverts for simply being extroverts.
i have genuinely never read anything so deluded with self-pity and loathing as this book.
Every single line begs for sympathy for introverts and criticises extroverts for simply being extroverts.
August 31, 2025
I liked learning about introversion, and resonated with some of these things…but this book was meh to me.
August 31, 2025
All in all, this book wasn't great, but it felt more like a comprehensive guide with a lot of thoughts, and every so often one I could relate to hit and stuck. Similarly to the advice that the book gives on approaching people, it's not just about how you approach people, deep down it's about whether you two are the right match for each other. After reading this book, I think the most important thing for me is to continue to look into myself so that I can honestly answer who I am, what I like, what I want to do, what I enjoy doing, what I find interesting, what I enjoy so much I don't notice time passing, what I fear, what I dislike about myself and want to work on, what I think my style is, how I enjoy hanging out with friends, etc. From there, I can look at a group of people and say, "That girl looks like someone I'd like to be friends with." and mean it. And if she and I align in an aspect of our lives, then she might be someone I could share that friendship with. My main objective for seeking out books like this one were mostly to improve my skills in vibing with someone I can tell I don't agree with or don't have a lot in common with, but would still like to form some kind of friendship with like a colleague or a boss, and honestly it didn't help much in that aspect loll but the one thing I will take away from this is that one big thing I want to work on is my delivery and my appearance. A lot of times in these situations, I'm unsure of what I want to say because I want to match or build on to whatever the person in front of me saying, and will end up saying these weird half-sentences that don't end fully or come off as unconfident, which is not who I am. I think I also struggle with this because as an Asian-American I can come off as 'too quiet, boring, or reserved' if I do my usual quiet observer stance where I only pitch in to a conversation every so often, or at a party where everyone is screaming to be heard and I just don't feel like much of a screamer in the moment I become aware that I may be coming off as a boring person or the 'stereotypical asian girl' and try to fake an enthusiam or match the energy, which sometimes just isn't what I'm feeling. Maybe if I focus more on tailoring my outer appearance through clothes, makeup, etc. to match the confident, usually soft-spoken but actually talkative person that I am, there will be less of that split I feel within myself as I force myself to pipe up. Now to find what that might look like for me... I'm lucky and fortunate enough to already have several people around me who I cherish and are grateful that I have that bond with already like my best friend, mom, or boyfriend that I can have that "comfortable silence" with, but the one thing this book hasn't been good for is making me overthink these moments with people I trust already by trying to analyze what makes this moment so good and why can't I have this with anyone. I guess when you're first meeting people you have certain extents of yourself you're willing to share with people, so you might give them more glimpses into a certain part of your life, and if you vibe you peel back the curtain a little further. I feel like I've had a harder time in college so far (or at least in the past year) making friendships that feel "real" in the sense that it lasts beyond a class period or club meeting, but with a new outlook and understanding of myself and the process, I hope to go into this year with a new approach in how I meet new people or present myself, and how I feel about myself in these gatherings.
Quotes:
- People assume that introverts are lonely when we turn inward. In reality, we are lonelier when we spend too much time focusing outward
- Introverts are happiest when we stay connected to our inner world. Doing so allows us to cultivate our own kind of charisma. This is not the kind of charisma that shouts for attention or tells the best jokes at a party. True charisma has to do with a person's ability to draw us in and hold our attention... Once we have reconnected to our inner nature, developing charisma is more about revealing what is already there, rather than adding anything on
- In my relentless search for fulfillment, I had forgotten a crucial navigation tool: my inner compas
- The Should Voice: Pre-journey, my mind was cluttered with other people's expectations. Every time my own thoughts and beliefs looked for a place to sit and rest, they would find that the best seats were already taken by my father, mother, siblings, friends, acquaintances, and several other people whose names I've long since forgotten... Post-journey, my own thoughts got the best seats. The Should Voice no longer dictate my choices... -- (Eliminate the should and replace with could, I should go out tonight vs. I could go out tonight)
- Energy preparation: Introverts feel best when we prioritize our energy when planning our social activities. Perform an energy audit: make a list of all the activities that deplete you during a regular week. The make a list of all the activities that replenish you.
- Our thoughts are like horses, there are plenty of horses galloping by at any given moment, but we decide whether or not we want to get on a particular horse and ride it. Don't groom an obnoxious, ugly, untamed horse of a thought and treat it like it's the most precious horse in the stable. It takes practice to consciously choose constructive thoughts over destructive worries.
- Sometimes the only way to fight a negative thought is with a positive one. Let them duke it out and see who comes out on top.
- Emotions are like the litmus paper of life. They provide valuable feedback on what is working in our life "experiments" and what isn't. If we don't like how a particular experiment feels, we don't have to repeat it. We can change a few variables and try again, or we can do something entirely different.
- After giving it more thought, Stefanie realized that she had many things to be proud of. There are plenty of us who have spent several years giving all our attention to where we lack, while ignoring our successes. We shy away from our own greatness. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?"
- When we are loved in a way that we can understand, we are able to fully receive and reciprocate that love.
- If we expect to give our best to the world, we must learn how to receive.
- Have you ever noticed that the people who receive gifts with the most enthusiam are inevitably given more gifts? That's why most of us love giving presents to children. We love seeing their eyes light up. They don't push the gift away and say, "No, I couldn't possibly," or "It's too much.". They grasp the present with their tiny hands and receive it with delight. -- what stops me from happily receiving? is it that i don't like what i'm being given? rarely so. i think it might be the pressure of reciprocation or the fear that i haven't prepared something or whatever i have is inadequate. just as i rarely give with the desire for reciprocation and a payback in tenfold, maybe most people who give to me expect nothing, just genuine heartfelt appreciation and thanks
- We think that receiving from others inconveniences them, and sometimes it does. But more often than not, it creates a point of connection between giver and receiver, and both parties are filled up by the exchange. Constantly saying "no" to offers of assistance ensures that no one will want to help us.
- Filling our own love tanks means saving some of the good stuff for us. If only we could feel as much of an obligation to ourselves as we do to our employers and families. I know it seems counterintuitive to say this, but what if our own well-being was as important to us as that of our children? (Or in my opinion, to our children as well?) We can love those around us while also loving ourselves
- Simple actions done with loving intentions translate into self-love. Consistency ensures that the message really sets in
- Questions to identify the weeds and flowers in my life: What would you be relieve to not have to do anymore? (What aspects of your job feel painful? Is it your coworkers? Is it the meetings? What about your spare time?) What are you proud of right now? What could you get excited about right now? What are you grateful for?
- When we constantly apologize - even if only to ourselves - others start to believe we have a legitimate reason to be sorry. I never apologize for who I am. The more the mantra became a part of my being, the less others questioned me.
- Part of growing confidence is going in with a winner's mind set. Instead of rooting for the competition, we acknowledge what we have to offer. If you go into interactions with a "beggar's mind-set" where you think that people are doing you a favor by talking to you, you're telling yourself "They don't really want to talk to me. They're just being polite." When you think this way, you either come off as aloof or insecure. Confidence emerges when you go in with a giver's mind-set. Rather than thinking we are taking something away when we talk to a person, we imagine we are giving them something of value. When we go into conversations knowing we are offering people a gift by being truly present with them, we naturally exude a self-assured vibe. Creating a giver's mindset begins with focusing on our strengths.
- We're always so quick to rail at ourselves for our quietness, as if we're poisoning the air with silence. But a calm and quiet demeanor is refreshing. It is such a rare thing in this world to find someone who is not constantly trying to impress someone, be liked, or fill empty airspace with mindless chatter. A person who is completely, unapologetically okay with who they are and what they feel is like a beacon of light in the dark.
- "Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining." - Anne Lamott
- Core confidence is not dependent on circumstances. No matter where we are or whom we are with, we feel good about ourselves. It endures through any situation. We are firmly grounded in our own self-worth. We know our values and boundaries. We know where others end and we begin. People who possess this kind of confidence are actually quite rare. Most of us have.a number of invisible triggers that throw us off balance without us even realizing it.
- I over-prepare in the face of fear.
- Make a note of every tiny step you take to move past your fear. Find examples of success in your past and focus on those. See it like a game of golf. You are walking the course at your own pace, and every swing counts. No one (not me) expects you to get a hole in one every time.
- Elements of intrigue: expressions, genuine intrigue, push and pull, see yourself as the seasoned veteran in a given situation, being present, using your true voice and vocal resonance (and yulee try to speak more slowly), body language through movement and natural stance
- You have to consciously practice the art of presence. Start today by noticing how things feel on an within your body. Notice the texture of your clothing and how it feels against your skin. When you are with others and you start to daydream, return to the present moment by focusing on your tactile sensations or the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.
- "Wherever you go, there you are." Movement ensures that, wherever we are, we look and feel like someone who is in tune with their body. if our body is a vehicle, our sensations are the steering wheel
- When a microexpression is detected, you cannot tell from the expression itself whether it is the product of suppression (deliberate concealment) or repression (unconscious concealment). So basically people can tell when you fake it. At least when they're paying attention. If we can't hide our feelings with our facial expressions, what is the alternative? 1. Change the way we feel or 2) Be okay with dispalying true feelings on our faces. or do both. If something doesn't feel good, expplore why. Change your thoughts or your outer circumstances. Rather than slapping on a happy face that doesn't match my feelings, I prefer to focus on openness. I open up my face individually and allow it to relax into whatever shape they want to take. An open facial expression says, "come on in, the house is a little messy right now, but I won't judge if you don't." A fake face is a closed door.
- As we draw a person in, we give them the chance to see the world from our unique perspective.
- Let them go, I didn't overthink their swift departure and what it all meant. I said a silent "sayonara" and went back to focusing on the lovely person right in front of me. Stop ruminating about your ex (or the past, or any ex friend, etc.) and let someone new find you
- Cyndi evaluates Jake with the impersonal eye of a test examiner. Everything Jake says gets a pass or a fail. It's stressful having someone silently assess your every move. Feeling like we are being evaluate is nerve-racking, most of us react in one of two ways: we strive to prove ourselves to our evaluator, or we shut down. The moment we try to prove or even justify ourselves on a first date (does this apply to business or professional settings?) we stifle true connection
- I make a conscious effort to notice and express my emotions. This doesn't mean that I dive straight into my greatest fears and insecurities on a first date. That level of vulnerability wouldn't match the circumstances. Instead, I allow whomever I'm with to catch a glimpse of what I'm feeling in that moment.
- Just funny thing: One man wrote "add to cart" as his profile tagline, and I laughed out loud at the irony
- Many introverts avoid such conflicts by opting out of close relationships altogether. This is one solution. But a better option might be to learn how to accept support, while also carrying our own weight.
- The true objective is simply to see: see another person for who they really are, flaws and all; see yourself with more compassion as you recognize that this person is just as afraid as you are; see the value of something as basic as looking a person in the eye. You are already irresistible.
Quotes:
- People assume that introverts are lonely when we turn inward. In reality, we are lonelier when we spend too much time focusing outward
- Introverts are happiest when we stay connected to our inner world. Doing so allows us to cultivate our own kind of charisma. This is not the kind of charisma that shouts for attention or tells the best jokes at a party. True charisma has to do with a person's ability to draw us in and hold our attention... Once we have reconnected to our inner nature, developing charisma is more about revealing what is already there, rather than adding anything on
- In my relentless search for fulfillment, I had forgotten a crucial navigation tool: my inner compas
- The Should Voice: Pre-journey, my mind was cluttered with other people's expectations. Every time my own thoughts and beliefs looked for a place to sit and rest, they would find that the best seats were already taken by my father, mother, siblings, friends, acquaintances, and several other people whose names I've long since forgotten... Post-journey, my own thoughts got the best seats. The Should Voice no longer dictate my choices... -- (Eliminate the should and replace with could, I should go out tonight vs. I could go out tonight)
- Energy preparation: Introverts feel best when we prioritize our energy when planning our social activities. Perform an energy audit: make a list of all the activities that deplete you during a regular week. The make a list of all the activities that replenish you.
- Our thoughts are like horses, there are plenty of horses galloping by at any given moment, but we decide whether or not we want to get on a particular horse and ride it. Don't groom an obnoxious, ugly, untamed horse of a thought and treat it like it's the most precious horse in the stable. It takes practice to consciously choose constructive thoughts over destructive worries.
- Sometimes the only way to fight a negative thought is with a positive one. Let them duke it out and see who comes out on top.
- Emotions are like the litmus paper of life. They provide valuable feedback on what is working in our life "experiments" and what isn't. If we don't like how a particular experiment feels, we don't have to repeat it. We can change a few variables and try again, or we can do something entirely different.
- After giving it more thought, Stefanie realized that she had many things to be proud of. There are plenty of us who have spent several years giving all our attention to where we lack, while ignoring our successes. We shy away from our own greatness. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?"
- When we are loved in a way that we can understand, we are able to fully receive and reciprocate that love.
- If we expect to give our best to the world, we must learn how to receive.
- Have you ever noticed that the people who receive gifts with the most enthusiam are inevitably given more gifts? That's why most of us love giving presents to children. We love seeing their eyes light up. They don't push the gift away and say, "No, I couldn't possibly," or "It's too much.". They grasp the present with their tiny hands and receive it with delight. -- what stops me from happily receiving? is it that i don't like what i'm being given? rarely so. i think it might be the pressure of reciprocation or the fear that i haven't prepared something or whatever i have is inadequate. just as i rarely give with the desire for reciprocation and a payback in tenfold, maybe most people who give to me expect nothing, just genuine heartfelt appreciation and thanks
- We think that receiving from others inconveniences them, and sometimes it does. But more often than not, it creates a point of connection between giver and receiver, and both parties are filled up by the exchange. Constantly saying "no" to offers of assistance ensures that no one will want to help us.
- Filling our own love tanks means saving some of the good stuff for us. If only we could feel as much of an obligation to ourselves as we do to our employers and families. I know it seems counterintuitive to say this, but what if our own well-being was as important to us as that of our children? (Or in my opinion, to our children as well?) We can love those around us while also loving ourselves
- Simple actions done with loving intentions translate into self-love. Consistency ensures that the message really sets in
- Questions to identify the weeds and flowers in my life: What would you be relieve to not have to do anymore? (What aspects of your job feel painful? Is it your coworkers? Is it the meetings? What about your spare time?) What are you proud of right now? What could you get excited about right now? What are you grateful for?
- When we constantly apologize - even if only to ourselves - others start to believe we have a legitimate reason to be sorry. I never apologize for who I am. The more the mantra became a part of my being, the less others questioned me.
- Part of growing confidence is going in with a winner's mind set. Instead of rooting for the competition, we acknowledge what we have to offer. If you go into interactions with a "beggar's mind-set" where you think that people are doing you a favor by talking to you, you're telling yourself "They don't really want to talk to me. They're just being polite." When you think this way, you either come off as aloof or insecure. Confidence emerges when you go in with a giver's mind-set. Rather than thinking we are taking something away when we talk to a person, we imagine we are giving them something of value. When we go into conversations knowing we are offering people a gift by being truly present with them, we naturally exude a self-assured vibe. Creating a giver's mindset begins with focusing on our strengths.
- We're always so quick to rail at ourselves for our quietness, as if we're poisoning the air with silence. But a calm and quiet demeanor is refreshing. It is such a rare thing in this world to find someone who is not constantly trying to impress someone, be liked, or fill empty airspace with mindless chatter. A person who is completely, unapologetically okay with who they are and what they feel is like a beacon of light in the dark.
- "Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining." - Anne Lamott
- Core confidence is not dependent on circumstances. No matter where we are or whom we are with, we feel good about ourselves. It endures through any situation. We are firmly grounded in our own self-worth. We know our values and boundaries. We know where others end and we begin. People who possess this kind of confidence are actually quite rare. Most of us have.a number of invisible triggers that throw us off balance without us even realizing it.
- I over-prepare in the face of fear.
- Make a note of every tiny step you take to move past your fear. Find examples of success in your past and focus on those. See it like a game of golf. You are walking the course at your own pace, and every swing counts. No one (not me) expects you to get a hole in one every time.
- Elements of intrigue: expressions, genuine intrigue, push and pull, see yourself as the seasoned veteran in a given situation, being present, using your true voice and vocal resonance (and yulee try to speak more slowly), body language through movement and natural stance
- You have to consciously practice the art of presence. Start today by noticing how things feel on an within your body. Notice the texture of your clothing and how it feels against your skin. When you are with others and you start to daydream, return to the present moment by focusing on your tactile sensations or the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.
- "Wherever you go, there you are." Movement ensures that, wherever we are, we look and feel like someone who is in tune with their body. if our body is a vehicle, our sensations are the steering wheel
- When a microexpression is detected, you cannot tell from the expression itself whether it is the product of suppression (deliberate concealment) or repression (unconscious concealment). So basically people can tell when you fake it. At least when they're paying attention. If we can't hide our feelings with our facial expressions, what is the alternative? 1. Change the way we feel or 2) Be okay with dispalying true feelings on our faces. or do both. If something doesn't feel good, expplore why. Change your thoughts or your outer circumstances. Rather than slapping on a happy face that doesn't match my feelings, I prefer to focus on openness. I open up my face individually and allow it to relax into whatever shape they want to take. An open facial expression says, "come on in, the house is a little messy right now, but I won't judge if you don't." A fake face is a closed door.
- As we draw a person in, we give them the chance to see the world from our unique perspective.
- Let them go, I didn't overthink their swift departure and what it all meant. I said a silent "sayonara" and went back to focusing on the lovely person right in front of me. Stop ruminating about your ex (or the past, or any ex friend, etc.) and let someone new find you
- Cyndi evaluates Jake with the impersonal eye of a test examiner. Everything Jake says gets a pass or a fail. It's stressful having someone silently assess your every move. Feeling like we are being evaluate is nerve-racking, most of us react in one of two ways: we strive to prove ourselves to our evaluator, or we shut down. The moment we try to prove or even justify ourselves on a first date (does this apply to business or professional settings?) we stifle true connection
- I make a conscious effort to notice and express my emotions. This doesn't mean that I dive straight into my greatest fears and insecurities on a first date. That level of vulnerability wouldn't match the circumstances. Instead, I allow whomever I'm with to catch a glimpse of what I'm feeling in that moment.
- Just funny thing: One man wrote "add to cart" as his profile tagline, and I laughed out loud at the irony
- Many introverts avoid such conflicts by opting out of close relationships altogether. This is one solution. But a better option might be to learn how to accept support, while also carrying our own weight.
- The true objective is simply to see: see another person for who they really are, flaws and all; see yourself with more compassion as you recognize that this person is just as afraid as you are; see the value of something as basic as looking a person in the eye. You are already irresistible.
February 4, 2017
I'm finding the word "irresistible" a tricky word to spell. Being an "irresistible introvert" though is much easier and even more enjoyable since reading Michaela Chung's book. Everything about being an introvert is affirmed and applauded.
"The most basic definition of an introvert is someone who gains energy by turning inward and loses energy in stimulating environments," Chung writes in the introduction to The Irresistible Introvert. Chung sensed she was different and in high school, fellow students began to comment on the fact she could be so quiet. Being an introvert is often "depicted as the ugly little sister of extroversion," she says. She sets out to set the record straight and at the same time help introverts embrace our love of introspection, solitude and "a slower, more focused communication style."
The charisma referred to in the book's sub-title, "Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World," is connected to "a person's ability to draw us in and hold our attention. Introverts can do this without saying a word. It all begins with reconnecting to our inner nature." And then an introvert reveals what's already there "rather than adding anything on."
I can think of various times when I found that to be true. It's best to be ourselves rather than force ourselves into behavior that isn't natural to us. I found it thought-provoking to read of an author Chung refers to as an example of someone who thought her need to be alone was a sign of depression. It was actually her lack of solitude that triggered "her descent into depression." That leads me to think of women of the past, the fifties and sixties say and even up to the present, being prescribed anti-depressants when perhaps what they craved was some solitude.
"Often, as long as we have our books, our imagination, and a wide slice of solitude, we're content," Chung writes as an "irresistible introvert" herself and I find the same to be true. It's also true that we introverts "wear our chaos on the inside where no one can see it." In a chapter entitled "The Way Out is In: Finding Your Inner Compass," Chung lists some ways for introverts to have mini retreats as a daily restorative practice. A morning ritual of drinking tea, going for a walk in nature, journaling and reading for pure pleasure are on the list.
Something else that gave me pause was Chapter 6: "Rediscovering Your Emotions" in which Chung writes: "In order to cope in very extroverted environments, where we face constant energy drain and overstimulation, one of the first things we shut down is our own emotions." Chung has many good suggestions for reconnecting with emotions including simply describing them with colors, textures, or analogies such as "I feel fragile" or "I feel blue."
"Confidence is an Inside Job" is the title of Chapter 9 and in it, Chung says introverts may look like "party poopers" in a noisy pub but "quirky coffee shops and bookstores will show off our best qualities." When choosing the right environment for themselves, introverts can shine. Chapter 12, "The Language of the Body," is another important chapter reminding introverts that they tend to be very much inside their heads so they may not notice their own bodies. Chung suggests various forms of movement, both external and internal, such as dancing for the body, singing for the voice, and for the mind, in her case, completing her book. Chung even includes a chapter on introvert dating.
I wouldn't have thought so much could be written about being an introvert. Now I see that isn't true! There's so much to be learned about being an introvert in The Irresistible Introvert which makes it very useful for acknowledging the many gifts of introversion. And for extroverts, this is an excellent book for gaining some understanding about and appreciation for the introverts in your life.
by Mary Ann Moore
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
"The most basic definition of an introvert is someone who gains energy by turning inward and loses energy in stimulating environments," Chung writes in the introduction to The Irresistible Introvert. Chung sensed she was different and in high school, fellow students began to comment on the fact she could be so quiet. Being an introvert is often "depicted as the ugly little sister of extroversion," she says. She sets out to set the record straight and at the same time help introverts embrace our love of introspection, solitude and "a slower, more focused communication style."
The charisma referred to in the book's sub-title, "Harness the Power of Quiet Charisma in a Loud World," is connected to "a person's ability to draw us in and hold our attention. Introverts can do this without saying a word. It all begins with reconnecting to our inner nature." And then an introvert reveals what's already there "rather than adding anything on."
I can think of various times when I found that to be true. It's best to be ourselves rather than force ourselves into behavior that isn't natural to us. I found it thought-provoking to read of an author Chung refers to as an example of someone who thought her need to be alone was a sign of depression. It was actually her lack of solitude that triggered "her descent into depression." That leads me to think of women of the past, the fifties and sixties say and even up to the present, being prescribed anti-depressants when perhaps what they craved was some solitude.
"Often, as long as we have our books, our imagination, and a wide slice of solitude, we're content," Chung writes as an "irresistible introvert" herself and I find the same to be true. It's also true that we introverts "wear our chaos on the inside where no one can see it." In a chapter entitled "The Way Out is In: Finding Your Inner Compass," Chung lists some ways for introverts to have mini retreats as a daily restorative practice. A morning ritual of drinking tea, going for a walk in nature, journaling and reading for pure pleasure are on the list.
Something else that gave me pause was Chapter 6: "Rediscovering Your Emotions" in which Chung writes: "In order to cope in very extroverted environments, where we face constant energy drain and overstimulation, one of the first things we shut down is our own emotions." Chung has many good suggestions for reconnecting with emotions including simply describing them with colors, textures, or analogies such as "I feel fragile" or "I feel blue."
"Confidence is an Inside Job" is the title of Chapter 9 and in it, Chung says introverts may look like "party poopers" in a noisy pub but "quirky coffee shops and bookstores will show off our best qualities." When choosing the right environment for themselves, introverts can shine. Chapter 12, "The Language of the Body," is another important chapter reminding introverts that they tend to be very much inside their heads so they may not notice their own bodies. Chung suggests various forms of movement, both external and internal, such as dancing for the body, singing for the voice, and for the mind, in her case, completing her book. Chung even includes a chapter on introvert dating.
I wouldn't have thought so much could be written about being an introvert. Now I see that isn't true! There's so much to be learned about being an introvert in The Irresistible Introvert which makes it very useful for acknowledging the many gifts of introversion. And for extroverts, this is an excellent book for gaining some understanding about and appreciation for the introverts in your life.
by Mary Ann Moore
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
August 22, 2016
A mini-manifesto for introverts. Introversion has become a bit of a "thing" lately. It's okay to want to spend time by yourself or not want to go to that party or need some downtime after hanging out with friends. Author Michaela Chung is presenting a "mini-manifesto" (as it says on the back cover) for introverts.
Overall it's a standard introvert introduction book. What it is, how we cope, how to handle situations like dating, work, communicating with friends, why we like to talk on the phone, etc. If you're already familiar with introversion, this is probably not very new stuff. If you're new, it might be a total eye-opener.
While I went into this knowing I'd probably know a lot of the material, I wasn't impressed. It's less of a self-help book and more of her own personal thoughts (the "manifesto" part). Some people would probably enjoy this style. Personally it bores me. I liked that it was not as dry and academic as say Susan Cain's 'Quiet' book but I never felt the author's voice really came through and compelled me to keep reading.
For the right person, though, this might really speak to them. It's not a long read and I couldn't help but think this could really work for a high-schooler or someone about to go off to college. Which is not to say someone older couldn't get something out of it (probably not younger than high school though), but it just seemed like perhaps a good going away gift or for a young adult who is trying to figure him or herself out personality-wise.
For an introductory book I personally recommend 'Success as an Introvert For Dummies' (yes, it's part of the 'For Dummies series but it's a really good basic text if you're completely unfamiliar with introversion) or 'The Introvert Advantage'. This book could be a good compliment to either one but I personally wouldn't recommend it as a stand alone. That said, I also wouldn't rush to read this book if you're already familiar with introversion. Borrow from the library or buy it super cheap.
Overall it's a standard introvert introduction book. What it is, how we cope, how to handle situations like dating, work, communicating with friends, why we like to talk on the phone, etc. If you're already familiar with introversion, this is probably not very new stuff. If you're new, it might be a total eye-opener.
While I went into this knowing I'd probably know a lot of the material, I wasn't impressed. It's less of a self-help book and more of her own personal thoughts (the "manifesto" part). Some people would probably enjoy this style. Personally it bores me. I liked that it was not as dry and academic as say Susan Cain's 'Quiet' book but I never felt the author's voice really came through and compelled me to keep reading.
For the right person, though, this might really speak to them. It's not a long read and I couldn't help but think this could really work for a high-schooler or someone about to go off to college. Which is not to say someone older couldn't get something out of it (probably not younger than high school though), but it just seemed like perhaps a good going away gift or for a young adult who is trying to figure him or herself out personality-wise.
For an introductory book I personally recommend 'Success as an Introvert For Dummies' (yes, it's part of the 'For Dummies series but it's a really good basic text if you're completely unfamiliar with introversion) or 'The Introvert Advantage'. This book could be a good compliment to either one but I personally wouldn't recommend it as a stand alone. That said, I also wouldn't rush to read this book if you're already familiar with introversion. Borrow from the library or buy it super cheap.
September 30, 2019
All in all, save yourselves even from speed reading this book. Feels akin to reading a thirty-year-old-once-famous-teen-blogger’s first foray into paperback.
Book is based 100% on the author’s personal experiences and she generalises a lot about introverts making the book unrelatable e.g “we introverts tend to drift along in our bubble of fantasies (often thinking about our dream man or woman), oblivious to the real, live people right in front of us”. Not true.
Author also seems to use book to humblebrag e.g. “I stumbled upon famous dating coach Rori’s Raye’s blog. She advised accepting a date with any man who asked- that’s right, any man. This actually didn’t seem like that radical an idea since, despite my attractive appearance, I didn’t get asked out very often.” Was this necessary? And she proceeds to say “pretty much everywhere I went, men start noticing me and asking me out”. Okay gotta control myself from typing out the whole para lest the whites of my eyes take over my iris.
Did not mean to be rude in any way just helping my fellow introverts out there from thinking this is how other introverts think.
Cheers!
Book is based 100% on the author’s personal experiences and she generalises a lot about introverts making the book unrelatable e.g “we introverts tend to drift along in our bubble of fantasies (often thinking about our dream man or woman), oblivious to the real, live people right in front of us”. Not true.
Author also seems to use book to humblebrag e.g. “I stumbled upon famous dating coach Rori’s Raye’s blog. She advised accepting a date with any man who asked- that’s right, any man. This actually didn’t seem like that radical an idea since, despite my attractive appearance, I didn’t get asked out very often.” Was this necessary? And she proceeds to say “pretty much everywhere I went, men start noticing me and asking me out”. Okay gotta control myself from typing out the whole para lest the whites of my eyes take over my iris.
Did not mean to be rude in any way just helping my fellow introverts out there from thinking this is how other introverts think.
Cheers!
June 21, 2017
I found Quiet by Susan McCain a more interesting book, but this is definitely a more useful book.
It would have been a superb book to have read in my twenties. Indeed i will keep a copy or two to give to younger people who might benefit from it.
Initially perhaps I did not give it enough credit for being technical enough, I've got used to reading books with a lot more raw science and references. But dare I say it, it is a sweet book written by someone who cares a great deal for others and is happy to expose her struggles so that others will not have to make the same mistake.
She has put a great deal of thought into the topic. Indeed it is a fairly comprehensive document. It makes sense that she has a blog, I would think that this has allowed her to really see what works and what does not. So no doubt the sparsity of reference is made up for in the complexity of all the visitors to her site.
It is nice reading a book which has a real feeling of empathy and wisdom
It would have been a superb book to have read in my twenties. Indeed i will keep a copy or two to give to younger people who might benefit from it.
Initially perhaps I did not give it enough credit for being technical enough, I've got used to reading books with a lot more raw science and references. But dare I say it, it is a sweet book written by someone who cares a great deal for others and is happy to expose her struggles so that others will not have to make the same mistake.
She has put a great deal of thought into the topic. Indeed it is a fairly comprehensive document. It makes sense that she has a blog, I would think that this has allowed her to really see what works and what does not. So no doubt the sparsity of reference is made up for in the complexity of all the visitors to her site.
It is nice reading a book which has a real feeling of empathy and wisdom
July 9, 2016
I didn't even suspect it. Not for a second. Never heard a peep. Never saw a single sign. But, it has to be true. There is no other explanation. It's the only way she could know...everything. All of it. But, I can't let it keep happening. Nope. So, I've just got one thing to say...
"Get outta ma head, Michaela Chung!!"
I'm not sure how irresistible the book will make anyone but, damn, Chung knows what she's talking about. The first part of the book will be familiar to anyone who knows anything about introversion but, starting with Chapter 3, the book just takes off in an amazing direction that will have any introvert nodding along in agreement. Chung's writing style flows well and was entertaining and deep at the same time. Lovely book.
"Get outta ma head, Michaela Chung!!"
I'm not sure how irresistible the book will make anyone but, damn, Chung knows what she's talking about. The first part of the book will be familiar to anyone who knows anything about introversion but, starting with Chapter 3, the book just takes off in an amazing direction that will have any introvert nodding along in agreement. Chung's writing style flows well and was entertaining and deep at the same time. Lovely book.
October 7, 2022
Not so irresistible writer !
well I don't want to sound too harsh here,just hear me out,
being an introvert all my life surrounded by extroverts, gradually coming in terms with my personality, learning more n more gaining wisdom through the ages, overcoming many obstacles and fears, I had high expectations from this book.
It did start out great, but eventually as all books about introverts by female authors go, it went to that same old female biased preachy stereotypical route, its kind of a good book for extroverts but not at all for introverts. it was more like the writer's own journal which would have been a great read too if not for her preachy tone,privilege and too much of obnoxious experiences.
well I don't want to sound too harsh here,just hear me out,
being an introvert all my life surrounded by extroverts, gradually coming in terms with my personality, learning more n more gaining wisdom through the ages, overcoming many obstacles and fears, I had high expectations from this book.
It did start out great, but eventually as all books about introverts by female authors go, it went to that same old female biased preachy stereotypical route, its kind of a good book for extroverts but not at all for introverts. it was more like the writer's own journal which would have been a great read too if not for her preachy tone,privilege and too much of obnoxious experiences.
January 13, 2018
Meh. I felt like I was reading an introverted teenager’s diary: I’ll go to a party, leave the room, come back and perch on the couch to observe like introverts do, and everyone will be wondering, “Who IS that girl?” It was more of the author’s experiences being an introvert in an extroverted world...which is why she coaches introverts. Anyway, I loved Susan Cain’s Quiet and learned more from what she had to say about introverts than this one.
November 29, 2017
Eh.. Susan Quain (is that how you spell it?) wrote a much better book about introversion, called Quiet. Read that one - don’t read this one. While it was still good to read it just seems like a high schooler wrote it....I did appreciate a lot of the things and advice Chung writes about in this book...it just didn’t impact me as much as Quiet did.
March 18, 2017
Charming. Self affirming book, good for introverts who never felt like they fit on or had to change to be accepted. A really great book filled with tips on how to manage your life to be happier. And how to accept yourself the way you are.
June 24, 2017
So many of the qualities mentioned in this book I had never attributed to introversion. I learned a lot in this way, and specifically related, so I loved much of this book. Helpful and meaningful metaphors for the qualities, too.
January 28, 2018
The author made this book too much about herself for it to be of use to her readers. Go on, open any page and spot the “I”, “me”, “myself” in every other sentence. A better title would be “The Irresistible I ..ntrovert”.
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