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Getting (More of) What You Want: How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life
Two top business professors offer up "the best research and advice on negotiation" (Chip Heath) Do you know what you want? How can you make sure you get it? Or rather, how can you convince others to give it to you? Almost every interaction involves negotiation, yet we often miss the cues that would allow us to make the most of these exchanges. In Getting (More of) What You Want, Margaret Neale and Thomas Lys draw on the latest advances in psychology and behavioral economics to provide new strategies for negotiation that take into account people's irrational biases as well as their rational behaviors. Whether you're shopping for a car, lobbying for a raise, or simply haggling over who takes out the trash, Getting (More of) What You Want shows how negotiations regularly leave significant value on the table—and how you can claim it.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 2, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
June 5, 2020
great book about negotiations with a practical approach from a Stanford professor. Will re-read later.
June 27, 2016
Solid insights about the importance of negotiating from an abundance mindset - the expectation that there is a 'win' for every one in every negotiation. The authors have a superb reputation, and their examples speak to their great familiarity with their subject matter. Unfortunately, the writing gets badly in the way of the message - it manages to drain the human drama from every exchange and replace it with two-dimensional diagrams on the board.
September 17, 2015
Hey, get talking! Apparently most of us are failing to negotiate and show what we want; we are not even trying. Unbelievable or what?
Negotiation is everywhere, it is not just for high value purchases or for getting something that we want, it can be used for things we are rather adverse to, such as doing the washing up or emptying the bins.
In this engaging book, the authors seek to push the reader to knowingly try and negotiate in each and every situation. Built on a basis of economics and psychology, it can be quite surprising to learn what we are missing out on and what it might be costing us. This is not just a book for the inexperienced, even those who throw their hat into the negotiating ring from time to time can probably improve their game, boost their success rate and then some by taking the authors’ advice to heart.
In many businesses, people sometimes make a half-hearted approach to negotiate and the sales agents often know this. So the price might have a little more air in it so that the seller can be “knocked down” and the customer snaps the deal, thinking they’ve talked down a great bargain. Who is leading who by the nose? For those who don’t negotiate, it is even more profit for the seller. Not everything is negotiable, so don’t go hassling the counter staff at McDonald’s and expect a double cheeseburger for the price of a single, yet sometimes you can be surprised at the results you can get for a firm approach, a smile and bit of gumption. It is, though, more than just a potential money-saving book. It can be time saving, it can be situation enhancing. It can be, or lead to, a lot of things.
This book is not a simple read in some ways due to the sheer depth and quality of the information on offer. The wise reader will take time to enjoy its contents, focus on the knowledge being imparted and consider their future strategies. It is far from being a “ten tips to being a great hustler”-type of book. Thankfully. Of course, depending on your needs you can take the odd shortcut or two – but that would be a shame. It is a lot more than just a negotiator’s handbook.
For many the book might be a little too overwhelming as it is crammed full of academic references and further reading suggestions. Maybe the book’s publicity material gives a slightly optimistic impression about the book’s accessibility and it could possibly be lightened up a tad in places. Yet on balance, it still is a good book that has the potential to delight, even if you do skip bits here and there. If you are in the market for a academically-focussed book mixing psychology and economics together in a practical sense, maybe you are going to stumble over a little goldmine.
The TL:DR summary? Very good, very interesting and very more-ish!
Autamme.com
Negotiation is everywhere, it is not just for high value purchases or for getting something that we want, it can be used for things we are rather adverse to, such as doing the washing up or emptying the bins.
In this engaging book, the authors seek to push the reader to knowingly try and negotiate in each and every situation. Built on a basis of economics and psychology, it can be quite surprising to learn what we are missing out on and what it might be costing us. This is not just a book for the inexperienced, even those who throw their hat into the negotiating ring from time to time can probably improve their game, boost their success rate and then some by taking the authors’ advice to heart.
In many businesses, people sometimes make a half-hearted approach to negotiate and the sales agents often know this. So the price might have a little more air in it so that the seller can be “knocked down” and the customer snaps the deal, thinking they’ve talked down a great bargain. Who is leading who by the nose? For those who don’t negotiate, it is even more profit for the seller. Not everything is negotiable, so don’t go hassling the counter staff at McDonald’s and expect a double cheeseburger for the price of a single, yet sometimes you can be surprised at the results you can get for a firm approach, a smile and bit of gumption. It is, though, more than just a potential money-saving book. It can be time saving, it can be situation enhancing. It can be, or lead to, a lot of things.
This book is not a simple read in some ways due to the sheer depth and quality of the information on offer. The wise reader will take time to enjoy its contents, focus on the knowledge being imparted and consider their future strategies. It is far from being a “ten tips to being a great hustler”-type of book. Thankfully. Of course, depending on your needs you can take the odd shortcut or two – but that would be a shame. It is a lot more than just a negotiator’s handbook.
For many the book might be a little too overwhelming as it is crammed full of academic references and further reading suggestions. Maybe the book’s publicity material gives a slightly optimistic impression about the book’s accessibility and it could possibly be lightened up a tad in places. Yet on balance, it still is a good book that has the potential to delight, even if you do skip bits here and there. If you are in the market for a academically-focussed book mixing psychology and economics together in a practical sense, maybe you are going to stumble over a little goldmine.
The TL:DR summary? Very good, very interesting and very more-ish!
Autamme.com
December 13, 2022
Great book! Read it for a Negotiations class in college although it didn't feel much like a textbook. I love especially the intro, outlining the importance of bridging economics and psychology when negotiating- and the book is true to this preface! There are many reliable studies referenced that blew my mind. The book will change the way I go about negotiations (which are implicit sometimes even in a casual conversation) forever! 4 stars because some concepts are quite repetitive- something common among academic novels such as this.
February 15, 2019
This was one of my textbooks for my MBA. The fundamental book for becoming a better negotiator. Read this if you want to develop or enhance your negotiation skills. Great book!
June 15, 2024
Interesting read, if a little dry/repetitive. I went into the book expecting more of a pop psychology vibe, but it’s quite academic and has a lot of research references.
The book is divided into two parts:
* An overview of the effect of preparation, discipline and strategy on negotiations
* A grab bag of psychological or structural factors (e.g. making the first offer, perceived power dynamics, etc) and how they correlate to negotiation outcomes
One thing that bugged me is that there are a lot of interrelated/conflicting factors which can affect negotiations, many of which are purely psychological, so I’m a bit dubious of the research studies’ ability to effectively control for all of them and parse out true effect (let alone effect size). Still, I found the first half fairly valuable in laying out a structured approach for negotiation prep and the second half to have a lot of interesting tidbits to ponder.
The book is divided into two parts:
* An overview of the effect of preparation, discipline and strategy on negotiations
* A grab bag of psychological or structural factors (e.g. making the first offer, perceived power dynamics, etc) and how they correlate to negotiation outcomes
One thing that bugged me is that there are a lot of interrelated/conflicting factors which can affect negotiations, many of which are purely psychological, so I’m a bit dubious of the research studies’ ability to effectively control for all of them and parse out true effect (let alone effect size). Still, I found the first half fairly valuable in laying out a structured approach for negotiation prep and the second half to have a lot of interesting tidbits to ponder.
August 2, 2015
Getting (More of) What You Want: How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life is Margaret Neale and Thomas Lys' valuable new book. I've known Maggie and Tom for decades, but friendship isn't needed to motivate this review. I need this book. I bought both electronic and hardcover versions because this is a book I'll use in my work -- and you should too.
IF YOU ARE A NEGOTIATION NOVICE
You should read this book because is provides an accessible foundation. I cover negotiation as part of my Plugged-In Management workshops and this will be the book I offer (at the end!) of the sessions I teach. The preface gives you a clear perspective on the power of a disciplined approach to negotiation. By the end of Chapter 4 you'll already have the ability to to get more of what you want. If you've been trying out the techniques as you read these chapters, you'll have already paid for the book and the time it took you to read them. Neale and Lys also have done a wonderful job distilling the material from their consulting and courses into clear frameworks and tables to support your preparation.
IF YOU ARE A SELF-TAUGHT NEGOTIATOR
This book will take experienced, self-taught negotiators to the next level. You’ll discover why your good techniques are working and how to improve on your results. I expect that even the most experienced negotiators will be interested in the results from recent research on negotiation and the connections across psychological and economic perspectives. Neale is the Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business. Lys is the Eric L. Kohler Chair in Accounting at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management. Have no fear, this isn’t a textbook nor is it heavy statistics. What it is heavy with are solid examples and eye opening results. I've read the foundational research on whether or not to make the first offer -- and the systematic review provided in the book both extended what I knew and put it into actionable terms.
IF YOU’VE ALREADY HAD A GREAT NEGOTIATION CLASS
I suspect that even Neale & Lys’ students will find significant value in the summaries following each chapter. As soon as my hardcover arrives (this review is based on the Kindle version), I’ll be adding tabs so I can quickly flip to the summaries as preparation for any upcoming negotiation. No doubt you learned in your negotiation course that preparation and high expectations are critical to getting more of what you want. Use these summaries to kick off your preparations and problem solving efforts. Chapter 8, Managing the Negotiation: Supplementing and Verifying What You (Think You) Know will get special attention as it describes how to learn from the responses of the person you're negotiating with - a topic I know I need to give more attention.
IF YOU DON’T NEGOTIATE
Perhaps you don’t negotiate in a traditional sense -- but you do negotiate. Change management, technology implementations, teamwork, and social settings are all full of negotiations. In my book, The Plugged-In Manager, I rely on negotiation to help people leverage their human, technical, and organizational resources. I learned the basics and more from Maggie Neale and our colleague, Greg Northcraft. I recall feeling, and being, far more powerful once I understood the problem-solving nature of their negotiation practices.
CONCLUSION
Getting (More of) What You Want: How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life is a book you should use, not just read. It’s also the kind of book that you should share with your colleagues. The last practice of a a plugged-in manager is sharing. The idea is that if others understand the same language you do, you’ll find new value in your day to day work. This is a language you want to know.
IF YOU ARE A NEGOTIATION NOVICE
You should read this book because is provides an accessible foundation. I cover negotiation as part of my Plugged-In Management workshops and this will be the book I offer (at the end!) of the sessions I teach. The preface gives you a clear perspective on the power of a disciplined approach to negotiation. By the end of Chapter 4 you'll already have the ability to to get more of what you want. If you've been trying out the techniques as you read these chapters, you'll have already paid for the book and the time it took you to read them. Neale and Lys also have done a wonderful job distilling the material from their consulting and courses into clear frameworks and tables to support your preparation.
IF YOU ARE A SELF-TAUGHT NEGOTIATOR
This book will take experienced, self-taught negotiators to the next level. You’ll discover why your good techniques are working and how to improve on your results. I expect that even the most experienced negotiators will be interested in the results from recent research on negotiation and the connections across psychological and economic perspectives. Neale is the Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business. Lys is the Eric L. Kohler Chair in Accounting at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management. Have no fear, this isn’t a textbook nor is it heavy statistics. What it is heavy with are solid examples and eye opening results. I've read the foundational research on whether or not to make the first offer -- and the systematic review provided in the book both extended what I knew and put it into actionable terms.
IF YOU’VE ALREADY HAD A GREAT NEGOTIATION CLASS
I suspect that even Neale & Lys’ students will find significant value in the summaries following each chapter. As soon as my hardcover arrives (this review is based on the Kindle version), I’ll be adding tabs so I can quickly flip to the summaries as preparation for any upcoming negotiation. No doubt you learned in your negotiation course that preparation and high expectations are critical to getting more of what you want. Use these summaries to kick off your preparations and problem solving efforts. Chapter 8, Managing the Negotiation: Supplementing and Verifying What You (Think You) Know will get special attention as it describes how to learn from the responses of the person you're negotiating with - a topic I know I need to give more attention.
IF YOU DON’T NEGOTIATE
Perhaps you don’t negotiate in a traditional sense -- but you do negotiate. Change management, technology implementations, teamwork, and social settings are all full of negotiations. In my book, The Plugged-In Manager, I rely on negotiation to help people leverage their human, technical, and organizational resources. I learned the basics and more from Maggie Neale and our colleague, Greg Northcraft. I recall feeling, and being, far more powerful once I understood the problem-solving nature of their negotiation practices.
CONCLUSION
Getting (More of) What You Want: How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life is a book you should use, not just read. It’s also the kind of book that you should share with your colleagues. The last practice of a a plugged-in manager is sharing. The idea is that if others understand the same language you do, you’ll find new value in your day to day work. This is a language you want to know.
August 14, 2015
I highly recommend this book to people who want to understand how economics and psychology impact negotiations, and how they can improve their negotiating skills. It is humbling to see how many people are woefully unprepared for a negotiation. Don't be one of those people. After reading this book you will have lots of research, practical tips, and encouragement on your side. I am already applying several of the techniques in this book to an international negotiation. You will enjoy this very well-written book and learn how to become a better negotiator.
September 21, 2020
Mentions behavioural economics applied to negotiation in essence if somebody has a much stronger set of options there like to be a more aggressive negotiator than somebody with a less attractive set of alternatives. Outlines the importance of setting your reserve price and sticking to this.
Realise that a bargaining zone only exists when there is an overlap between the seller and the buyer.
Realise that each party may value money differently, so although £5 maybe significant to one, maybe insignificant to others, whereas delivery time or time spent by someone maybe more significant to other party.
Attempt to create value by seeing what both parties want. This may differ, then you can come to a good compromise. General note when when negotiating for yourself be cautious not to divulge too much of your information without the other party doing similar otherwise they could take advantage of you
Search for multiple issues that each party values differently and consider how to make the best deal. You may want to consider a contingency contract, although note even the contingency contract actual value may differ from one or both parties initial perceptions.
The first goal of negotiation is to know exactly what you want, don't lose sight of this this. Otherwise often your goal can change without you intending it to. The second phase is establishing the preferences and goals of the counterpart you were negotiating with the final phase is to utilise this matrix to come to an agreement.
In negotiation generally do not reveal your true reservation price, the person will assume it is not your true reservation price so they negotiation won't complete.
Clearly your method of negotiation depends on if there is going to be an ongoing relationship or not. If you are negotiating with somebody for a one-off transactional relationship you may consider more threats, if however there's a longitudinal relationship such as friendship then threats are perhaps not best.
Interestingly suggests friends negotiated better than married couples who negotiate better than strangers. One of the things to establish is somebody's reputation and the impact it would have on them. So if there is a credible threat or a credible promise it's much more likely to be credible if there's a long term relationship or a friend who knows them.
Outlines the importance of power in negotiation if there is one team who are more powerful than the other team. The powerful team are more likely to make the less powerful team provide value-adding propositions. Whereas two powerful teams or two teams with minimal power are unlikely to have great negotiation overall.
The impact of emotions on negotiation are important. At times being angry, but not that angry so you are throwing things can occasionally be used to obtain more.
Focusing about your aspirations or alternatives in negotiations is important. Aspiration negotiation, in which you are optimistic about what you can achieve leads to better outcomes but less satisfaction when completed. Whereas a focus on alternatives, particularly if your options are limited leads to often worse outcomes but greater satisfaction when the negotiation is over. The key point is to be aware of both.
In auctions do not fall for the winners curse. This is when you buy or sell for much more or less than the true value. Auctions can be good if price is the main thing, rather than secret information paradoxically. If there's more bidders book argues you should bid less so you don't risk overpaying rather than getting competitive arousal and bidding more. Note other bidders as just other parties who are interested not competition.
Interestingly suggests after a deal comparing yourself with other buyers, even if you do better by paying less, doesn't add to your satisfaction. If you are a seller and managed to sell for more than your rival sellers you feel better whereas if you sell for less you feel worse
Objectively after a negotiation it's often not clear how well you did therefore people rely upon their actual feelings. When you end a negotiation don't leap up and down with joy, this is likely to make the other party think they've done badly so keep this feeling on the wraps!
Finally outlines the importance of preparation and focus for negotiation.
If you like my review please see my website www.chrisweatherburn.com for more!
Realise that a bargaining zone only exists when there is an overlap between the seller and the buyer.
Realise that each party may value money differently, so although £5 maybe significant to one, maybe insignificant to others, whereas delivery time or time spent by someone maybe more significant to other party.
Attempt to create value by seeing what both parties want. This may differ, then you can come to a good compromise. General note when when negotiating for yourself be cautious not to divulge too much of your information without the other party doing similar otherwise they could take advantage of you
Search for multiple issues that each party values differently and consider how to make the best deal. You may want to consider a contingency contract, although note even the contingency contract actual value may differ from one or both parties initial perceptions.
The first goal of negotiation is to know exactly what you want, don't lose sight of this this. Otherwise often your goal can change without you intending it to. The second phase is establishing the preferences and goals of the counterpart you were negotiating with the final phase is to utilise this matrix to come to an agreement.
In negotiation generally do not reveal your true reservation price, the person will assume it is not your true reservation price so they negotiation won't complete.
Clearly your method of negotiation depends on if there is going to be an ongoing relationship or not. If you are negotiating with somebody for a one-off transactional relationship you may consider more threats, if however there's a longitudinal relationship such as friendship then threats are perhaps not best.
Interestingly suggests friends negotiated better than married couples who negotiate better than strangers. One of the things to establish is somebody's reputation and the impact it would have on them. So if there is a credible threat or a credible promise it's much more likely to be credible if there's a long term relationship or a friend who knows them.
Outlines the importance of power in negotiation if there is one team who are more powerful than the other team. The powerful team are more likely to make the less powerful team provide value-adding propositions. Whereas two powerful teams or two teams with minimal power are unlikely to have great negotiation overall.
The impact of emotions on negotiation are important. At times being angry, but not that angry so you are throwing things can occasionally be used to obtain more.
Focusing about your aspirations or alternatives in negotiations is important. Aspiration negotiation, in which you are optimistic about what you can achieve leads to better outcomes but less satisfaction when completed. Whereas a focus on alternatives, particularly if your options are limited leads to often worse outcomes but greater satisfaction when the negotiation is over. The key point is to be aware of both.
In auctions do not fall for the winners curse. This is when you buy or sell for much more or less than the true value. Auctions can be good if price is the main thing, rather than secret information paradoxically. If there's more bidders book argues you should bid less so you don't risk overpaying rather than getting competitive arousal and bidding more. Note other bidders as just other parties who are interested not competition.
Interestingly suggests after a deal comparing yourself with other buyers, even if you do better by paying less, doesn't add to your satisfaction. If you are a seller and managed to sell for more than your rival sellers you feel better whereas if you sell for less you feel worse
Objectively after a negotiation it's often not clear how well you did therefore people rely upon their actual feelings. When you end a negotiation don't leap up and down with joy, this is likely to make the other party think they've done badly so keep this feeling on the wraps!
Finally outlines the importance of preparation and focus for negotiation.
If you like my review please see my website www.chrisweatherburn.com for more!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 6, 2025
I have two confessions to make. First, this was actually an assigned textbook for a negotiations class
I just completed in my graduate study. Second, this was the first textbook I have ever been assigned to where I went back *after* the course was over and finished the two assigned chapters I had missed and actually read the rest of the book.
I thought it would read a little less academic as the cover did not look like a traditional textbook, but it does get a little bit deep in the subject – which is great as it does not have that typical “biz language” and “pop psychology style” you read in business-related books you buy at an airport Hudson News or what they sell at the FedEx Office Center store.
One thing that worries me in general about going deep into the inner workings of negotiation is that there are both interrelated and conflicting factors which can affect negotiations, many of which are purely psychological, so I’m a bit dubious of the research studies’ ability to effectively control for all of them and parse out true effect (let alone effect size). However, I have found the book so far to be great at mapping out a structured approach for negotiation preparation.
I like the emphasis on negotiation not just about reaching an agreement but about the dual aspects of negotiation: creating value (“making the pie higher” – see who gets that joke/reference) and claiming value (getting your fair share). I agree that many people, including myself in the past, have missed opportunities to negotiate due to fear, lack of confidence, or simply not recognizing situations as negotiable.
I agree that research and preparation is good. I personally have not really paid much attention to anticipating or understanding the goals of the other party in the past because I worried it took focus off what my goals were.
I agreed with the author’s notions that cognitive biases and emotions can influence decision-making. I think it is really hard to dive really deep into dealing with and mitigating deep-seeded biases in a few pages though. If you find yourself struggling with those biases you may need more help than what could be discussed in this book.
Ultimately, the powers I gained from this book (and most readers will) are:
• The power of alternatives and BATNAs (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
• The power of value creation.
• The power of body language.
Originally published at: https://executingorder66.wordpress.co...
Other’s mileage may vary.
The last chapter on auctions was a great bonus read and a bit dangerous for me. The authors discuss the dynamics and strategies involved in auction settings, emphasizing how auctions differ from traditional negotiations including types of auctions, bidding strategies, psychological factors, and practical applications. To be honest, I may be leveraging this chapter the most due to my various collectible pastimes.
Finally, the learning matrices were very helpful tools to keep hold of for future use and guidance. I will definitely be keeping this book handy and referring to it as needed.
I just completed in my graduate study. Second, this was the first textbook I have ever been assigned to where I went back *after* the course was over and finished the two assigned chapters I had missed and actually read the rest of the book.
I thought it would read a little less academic as the cover did not look like a traditional textbook, but it does get a little bit deep in the subject – which is great as it does not have that typical “biz language” and “pop psychology style” you read in business-related books you buy at an airport Hudson News or what they sell at the FedEx Office Center store.
One thing that worries me in general about going deep into the inner workings of negotiation is that there are both interrelated and conflicting factors which can affect negotiations, many of which are purely psychological, so I’m a bit dubious of the research studies’ ability to effectively control for all of them and parse out true effect (let alone effect size). However, I have found the book so far to be great at mapping out a structured approach for negotiation preparation.
I like the emphasis on negotiation not just about reaching an agreement but about the dual aspects of negotiation: creating value (“making the pie higher” – see who gets that joke/reference) and claiming value (getting your fair share). I agree that many people, including myself in the past, have missed opportunities to negotiate due to fear, lack of confidence, or simply not recognizing situations as negotiable.
I agree that research and preparation is good. I personally have not really paid much attention to anticipating or understanding the goals of the other party in the past because I worried it took focus off what my goals were.
I agreed with the author’s notions that cognitive biases and emotions can influence decision-making. I think it is really hard to dive really deep into dealing with and mitigating deep-seeded biases in a few pages though. If you find yourself struggling with those biases you may need more help than what could be discussed in this book.
Ultimately, the powers I gained from this book (and most readers will) are:
• The power of alternatives and BATNAs (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
• The power of value creation.
• The power of body language.
Originally published at: https://executingorder66.wordpress.co...
Other’s mileage may vary.
The last chapter on auctions was a great bonus read and a bit dangerous for me. The authors discuss the dynamics and strategies involved in auction settings, emphasizing how auctions differ from traditional negotiations including types of auctions, bidding strategies, psychological factors, and practical applications. To be honest, I may be leveraging this chapter the most due to my various collectible pastimes.
Finally, the learning matrices were very helpful tools to keep hold of for future use and guidance. I will definitely be keeping this book handy and referring to it as needed.
November 13, 2017
Professor Neale is amazing and this book is very thorough. She covers all the research on negotiation. Wow, its difficult to get through in places. I loved Kahneman's book and I wish she'd made the book more like that so it would be easier to read. Great material, I learned a lot but it's not an easy, light read.
June 26, 2024
I really wanted this book to be at the level of Never Split the Difference, but it fell short. The writing is quite academic in nature with a large focus on game theory. I would have also hoped that more of the examples were professional and career focused, and less on personal matters such as buying a car and car tires. Some interesting studies but not too many novel ones.
May 25, 2017
It covers such negotiating basics as how to create and claim value, and then it delves into more complicated aspects of negotiating, such as power plays and concessions. Unfortunately, repetition and circular logic sometimes muddy their stream of thought.
July 28, 2025
this book is a combo of my two favorite academic topics: psych and economics. i am AWFUL at negotiating. i’m a chronic people pleaser, so this book is teaching me how to not be a doormat! made for me.
December 26, 2017
Way to repetitive and long. Get to the point & stop repeating yourself.
April 1, 2018
negotiation? I thought it would be a sex manual. or... wait...
April 25, 2020
The book can help you to improve your negotiation skills. At least, it helped me as a layman. The writers guide you through the process and give you good negotiation tips.
March 20, 2021
Rather textbookish to read and maybe good for people who don't do negotiations often.
Read
July 29, 2024Not as interesting as it sounded
June 14, 2025
Not exactly entertaining but has some useful lessons in it
December 24, 2020
An interesting read. I listened to the audiobook, which is narrated by an adult American male voice and suitable for 1.5x speed (or less, if you’re also playing a video game). :)
Lots of great negotiating advice for all kinds of scenarios. The most useful and interesting advice was around the last quarter, talking about the three things needed for a successful negotiation. Would recommend to read, though it provides the kinds of skills that needs to be practiced too, not just read about. So go out and practice these suggestions!
Favourite Quotes:
"Setting higher expectations results in better performance, even if you don’t achieve all of your expectations."
"Because of this potential [for a reasonable deal for both parties], it is important to think of the negotiation as a package rather than focusing on one issue at a time. Of course, it is only possible to think of the negotiation as a package if you develop a metric to compare issues that are denominated in different units, such as days and dollars."
Power is perceived with the expression of steely anger, not hot anger. Women expressing anger without justification appear powerless.
"Humans are particularly inept at remembering and responding to what they wanted in the past, assessing what they value in the present, or predicting what their future selves will want tomorrow."
Lots of great negotiating advice for all kinds of scenarios. The most useful and interesting advice was around the last quarter, talking about the three things needed for a successful negotiation. Would recommend to read, though it provides the kinds of skills that needs to be practiced too, not just read about. So go out and practice these suggestions!
Favourite Quotes:
"Setting higher expectations results in better performance, even if you don’t achieve all of your expectations."
"Because of this potential [for a reasonable deal for both parties], it is important to think of the negotiation as a package rather than focusing on one issue at a time. Of course, it is only possible to think of the negotiation as a package if you develop a metric to compare issues that are denominated in different units, such as days and dollars."
Power is perceived with the expression of steely anger, not hot anger. Women expressing anger without justification appear powerless.
"Humans are particularly inept at remembering and responding to what they wanted in the past, assessing what they value in the present, or predicting what their future selves will want tomorrow."
December 11, 2016
Read chapters 9, 11, 12, 13, 14.
-Performance in the negotiation differs when you focus on your aspirations compared to alternatives. The reference point you chose influences your objective (how much value claimed) and subjective (how satisfied are you) assessment.
-Discovering you got more/less than your counterpart only reduces your satisfaction (coz you lost anyway). Getting more than a person in a similar position, however, increases satisfaction!
-Negotiator's subjective assessment of created value is WEAKLY correlated with actual value. The more he feels accomplished/satisfied when negotiating, greater your reputation as a fair and reasonable negotiator. Your high objective value + his high subjective value - BEST!
-Don't get into an auction: a. many bidders; b. multiple issues; c. desire to win is extreme. Good to have modest or low value when many bidders contrary to being competitive and shooting up your representative value!
-Power affects: a. bias to action; b. defy social nuances/norms; c. use people as means/resources
-More power: a. More alternatives; b. position; c. power mindset (i. power poses; ii. think about a time when you were powerful; iii. think about a time when you were physically attractive)
-Performance in the negotiation differs when you focus on your aspirations compared to alternatives. The reference point you chose influences your objective (how much value claimed) and subjective (how satisfied are you) assessment.
-Discovering you got more/less than your counterpart only reduces your satisfaction (coz you lost anyway). Getting more than a person in a similar position, however, increases satisfaction!
-Negotiator's subjective assessment of created value is WEAKLY correlated with actual value. The more he feels accomplished/satisfied when negotiating, greater your reputation as a fair and reasonable negotiator. Your high objective value + his high subjective value - BEST!
-Don't get into an auction: a. many bidders; b. multiple issues; c. desire to win is extreme. Good to have modest or low value when many bidders contrary to being competitive and shooting up your representative value!
-Power affects: a. bias to action; b. defy social nuances/norms; c. use people as means/resources
-More power: a. More alternatives; b. position; c. power mindset (i. power poses; ii. think about a time when you were powerful; iii. think about a time when you were physically attractive)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 26, 2016
Maggie Neale is a master negotiator whose book tries to break down simple tactics which most people do not even consider when it comes to human interaction. The concepts she espouses in her book are quite simple, but rarely practiced as quite contrary to human nature - although they should not be. I appreciated many of the lessons of her book, especially viewing negotiations as an opportunity to build value rather than seize value, and to not view them in such a negative light. Many wise lesson are in this text
March 11, 2018
Negotiate like your life is depending on it. Getting more here does not meant the other side of the table to lost more... It is about understanding what each side of the table put the price on "value" which does not necessary mean money... the key is to understand the value of other side give.
January 20, 2016
"Getting to Yes" with some Cialdini/Munger-esque psychological references
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