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When the Going Gets Toxic: Seeking Hope in the Breaking Points of Life
She never imagined the safest place she'd built—a Christian marriage—would become the place she needed to escape.
When Jen's marriage to a respected worship leader became unsafe, everything she believed about love, faith, and security was shaken. As betrayal gave way to devastating health complications brought on by overwhelming stress, she found herself asking the questions so many silently carry: Where is God in this? Can healing really come from heartbreak? Through raw honesty and unwavering faith, Jen invites readers into the journey of finding hope when life takes an unexpected turn.
Drawing from years of studying Scripture and discipling others, Jen shares the biblical truths that carried her through emotional, physical, and spiritual restoration. Rather than offering easy answers, she offers compassionate encouragement for anyone navigating toxic relationships, disappointment, or shattered expectations. Her story is a reminder that God still writes redemption into even the darkest chapters.
Inside you'll discover:
Biblical encouragement for navigating toxic relationships
Hope for healing after betrayal and heartbreak
Practical insights for trusting God through life's detours
Honest reflections that remind you you're not alone
A renewed perspective on God's faithfulness in suffering
Your story doesn't have to end where your pain began. Even when life turns toxic, hope still has the final word.
When Jen's marriage to a respected worship leader became unsafe, everything she believed about love, faith, and security was shaken. As betrayal gave way to devastating health complications brought on by overwhelming stress, she found herself asking the questions so many silently carry: Where is God in this? Can healing really come from heartbreak? Through raw honesty and unwavering faith, Jen invites readers into the journey of finding hope when life takes an unexpected turn.
Drawing from years of studying Scripture and discipling others, Jen shares the biblical truths that carried her through emotional, physical, and spiritual restoration. Rather than offering easy answers, she offers compassionate encouragement for anyone navigating toxic relationships, disappointment, or shattered expectations. Her story is a reminder that God still writes redemption into even the darkest chapters.
Inside you'll discover:
Biblical encouragement for navigating toxic relationships
Hope for healing after betrayal and heartbreak
Practical insights for trusting God through life's detours
Honest reflections that remind you you're not alone
A renewed perspective on God's faithfulness in suffering
Your story doesn't have to end where your pain began. Even when life turns toxic, hope still has the final word.
334 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 30, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
A captivating read from start to end. Jen’s story is, sadly, one that is all too familiar in Christian circles: enduring an abusive marriage believing the person will change while also fearing the stigma that comes to even think of divorce. That fear leaves people trapped, afraid to open up and tell others about their situation for fear of judgement. Throw in a cocktail of significant autoimmune diseases, and Jen had every reason to give up.
In her honest memoir, she shares moments where she did give up and feel defeated; where she was angry at God and felt hopeless about her life. It’s this authenticity that draws the reader in. While each person has their unique story and struggles, I think most readers can identify with the questions, doubts, and hurt Jen feels as she processes why God would let these things happen to her.
Through tremendous pain, Jen tells of ways God was present with her in the pain, how He used her circumstances to connect with other people that went through abuse and divorce, how He increased her capacity for mercy through all that she needed to forgive, and how He restored her health and restored her hope anew.
To all those in the heartache, questioning, and pain, this testimony is for you. To those in abusive relationships, this is a guide to holding your partner accountable for their actions, setting boundaries, and, if needed, walking away from it without shame or condemnation.
In her honest memoir, she shares moments where she did give up and feel defeated; where she was angry at God and felt hopeless about her life. It’s this authenticity that draws the reader in. While each person has their unique story and struggles, I think most readers can identify with the questions, doubts, and hurt Jen feels as she processes why God would let these things happen to her.
Through tremendous pain, Jen tells of ways God was present with her in the pain, how He used her circumstances to connect with other people that went through abuse and divorce, how He increased her capacity for mercy through all that she needed to forgive, and how He restored her health and restored her hope anew.
To all those in the heartache, questioning, and pain, this testimony is for you. To those in abusive relationships, this is a guide to holding your partner accountable for their actions, setting boundaries, and, if needed, walking away from it without shame or condemnation.
Review of advance copy received from Author
"After all, your current tears may be watering the soil of a beautiful future."
Thank you to the author, Jen Evans, for the gifted ARC. What an amazing read.
Honestly, reading When the Going Gets Toxic felt like sitting on the couch with a best friend who just gets it. Jen Evans has this super conversational, warm way of telling her story that immediately makes you feel seen and comfortable.
This book hit so close to home for me. I grew up in the church and absolutely loved my youth group days. Into adulthood, I carried everything I was taught right into my dating life. I genuinely thought that if a guy was a Christian, that meant I was safe, that shared faith was an automatic pass for a healthy, non-abusive relationship. Turns out, that’s just not always true. Realizing that toxicity and abuse can hide behind church walls and Christian labels was a huge, painful eye-opener for me, and seeing Jen talk about that exact experience was so validating.
What made reading this so therapeutic were all the little lessons and insights she drops throughout the book. If you’ve gone through some heavy stuff in relationships, her story gives you that quiet "okay, I wasn't crazy, and I'm not the only one" feeling. She doesn't preach at you or throw fake positivity around—she just shares her real, raw truth.
If you're healing from a rough relationship or trying to untangle faith and toxic dynamics, please read this. It’s heavy at times, but so healing. I also learned sooo much aboug chronic illnesses. Thank you, Jen for sharing your story.
Thank you to the author, Jen Evans, for the gifted ARC. What an amazing read.
Honestly, reading When the Going Gets Toxic felt like sitting on the couch with a best friend who just gets it. Jen Evans has this super conversational, warm way of telling her story that immediately makes you feel seen and comfortable.
This book hit so close to home for me. I grew up in the church and absolutely loved my youth group days. Into adulthood, I carried everything I was taught right into my dating life. I genuinely thought that if a guy was a Christian, that meant I was safe, that shared faith was an automatic pass for a healthy, non-abusive relationship. Turns out, that’s just not always true. Realizing that toxicity and abuse can hide behind church walls and Christian labels was a huge, painful eye-opener for me, and seeing Jen talk about that exact experience was so validating.
What made reading this so therapeutic were all the little lessons and insights she drops throughout the book. If you’ve gone through some heavy stuff in relationships, her story gives you that quiet "okay, I wasn't crazy, and I'm not the only one" feeling. She doesn't preach at you or throw fake positivity around—she just shares her real, raw truth.
If you're healing from a rough relationship or trying to untangle faith and toxic dynamics, please read this. It’s heavy at times, but so healing. I also learned sooo much aboug chronic illnesses. Thank you, Jen for sharing your story.
Review of advance copy received from Author
"On multiple occasions, though, I stepped into the proverbial sailboat of my life, thinking I was prepared for whatever storm would come my way. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control the wind that came against me."
Boy oh boy, do those words hit home. Jen has taken times of immense pain and struggle and turned them into a meaningful celebration of what it means to hope and trust in the Lord. Jen finds the perfect mix of vulnerability and humour to lighten even the darkest of subjects, without ever shying away from the ugly bits. You will laugh and you will cry and you will be so grateful that she says the quiet parts out loud. Jen's unfailing hope and faith is a testament to the power of leaning in to the pain, instead of shying away from it.
All of us walk our own path with pain and disappointments and changes-of-plans along the way. And there is nothing harder than picking yourself back up and asking, "What do I do now?". This book transcends the details of our own lives and reminds us of the power in sharing our story, even the parts we want to leave out. If you have battled with mental health, depression, toxic relationships, health issues, church pain- whatever it may be- read this book and be encouraged. No matter where in your life this books finds you, it has a message for you.
Boy oh boy, do those words hit home. Jen has taken times of immense pain and struggle and turned them into a meaningful celebration of what it means to hope and trust in the Lord. Jen finds the perfect mix of vulnerability and humour to lighten even the darkest of subjects, without ever shying away from the ugly bits. You will laugh and you will cry and you will be so grateful that she says the quiet parts out loud. Jen's unfailing hope and faith is a testament to the power of leaning in to the pain, instead of shying away from it.
All of us walk our own path with pain and disappointments and changes-of-plans along the way. And there is nothing harder than picking yourself back up and asking, "What do I do now?". This book transcends the details of our own lives and reminds us of the power in sharing our story, even the parts we want to leave out. If you have battled with mental health, depression, toxic relationships, health issues, church pain- whatever it may be- read this book and be encouraged. No matter where in your life this books finds you, it has a message for you.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Jen’s book provides an incredible roadmap for this type of healing. And while I wish this resource would have been available to me back when I was working through my own healing, it is here now. I’m so grateful that she was brave enough to share her story with the world.
When The Going Gets Toxic is for anyone who is doing the hard work of healing from abuse and trauma. It’s an easy read, deeply rooted in scripture, and with clear guidance on how to move forward and through. Not only that, there are thoughtful questions that she asks her readers at the end of each chapter and space to journal and reflect.
She challenges the reader on forgiveness and what that actually looks like. It doesn’t mean to ‘forget and sweep under the rug’.
“Forgiveness and accountability go hand in hand” (chapter 16 is a gem)
And if you know someone who has gone through something similar and you’re trying to understand them better, this book may be a helpful tool for you as well.
When The Going Gets Toxic is for anyone who is doing the hard work of healing from abuse and trauma. It’s an easy read, deeply rooted in scripture, and with clear guidance on how to move forward and through. Not only that, there are thoughtful questions that she asks her readers at the end of each chapter and space to journal and reflect.
She challenges the reader on forgiveness and what that actually looks like. It doesn’t mean to ‘forget and sweep under the rug’.
“Forgiveness and accountability go hand in hand” (chapter 16 is a gem)
And if you know someone who has gone through something similar and you’re trying to understand them better, this book may be a helpful tool for you as well.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This is a story that you need to hear. Jen takes you along with her through her own testimony of some of the hardest things you can imagine all while pointing you back to Jesus. She also juxtaposes her previous thoughts on certain Christian teachings with the reality of what scripture says. Her discourse on forgiveness and “keeping no record of wrongs” was very insightful. The nuance with which she describes the complex tensions of scripture will leave you challenged in the best way.
Jen’s writing style is clear and relatable. It’s as if a friend sat you down over a cup of coffee to tell you their life story. She covers this part of her life with immense grace and truth which gives the reader a sense of profound hope for whatever they may face. It serves as a testament that even in the darkest places, God is still working.
This book will challenge you to grow, fill your heart with hope, and remind you that God is always with you.
Jen’s writing style is clear and relatable. It’s as if a friend sat you down over a cup of coffee to tell you their life story. She covers this part of her life with immense grace and truth which gives the reader a sense of profound hope for whatever they may face. It serves as a testament that even in the darkest places, God is still working.
This book will challenge you to grow, fill your heart with hope, and remind you that God is always with you.
Review of advance copy received from Author
What a gift to finally read this book that was years in the making!!!
Jen’s story is one of perseverance, surrender, steadfastness, empowerment, and so much hope! Although her journey has been filled with lots of storms, she has managed to survive every wave with the presence of Jesus. Hope has always been on the horizon 🫶🏼 I’m so proud of how she’s not letting the hard things in her life have the final say, but instead she’s using her testimony to bring hope to others.
At the beginning of the book, she talks about how she hopes reading through is like receiving a warm blanket around your shoulders. It was just that for me. Getting to see the goodness of God prevail through unimaginable situations, getting to read about the breakthrough my dear friend experienced which I got to witness firsthand, getting to reflect at the end of each chapter, it all was just what I needed.
This is such a worthwhile read!
Jen’s story is one of perseverance, surrender, steadfastness, empowerment, and so much hope! Although her journey has been filled with lots of storms, she has managed to survive every wave with the presence of Jesus. Hope has always been on the horizon 🫶🏼 I’m so proud of how she’s not letting the hard things in her life have the final say, but instead she’s using her testimony to bring hope to others.
At the beginning of the book, she talks about how she hopes reading through is like receiving a warm blanket around your shoulders. It was just that for me. Getting to see the goodness of God prevail through unimaginable situations, getting to read about the breakthrough my dear friend experienced which I got to witness firsthand, getting to reflect at the end of each chapter, it all was just what I needed.
This is such a worthwhile read!
October 1, 2026
A true story of heartbreak and sorrow which brings the reader through the author's redemption journey into a life of happiness, faith, and stronger bonds. This book is perfect for someone of faith struggling through a difficult relationship or toxic situation. Even if you are not called to a faith, there may be something in this for you. The author combines their story with their faith journey, in addition to asking the reader to pause and reflect at the end of the chapters. Some of the material may be hard for one to stomach or stand for more than one chapter at a time, especially if you find yourself resonating with her story.
There are moments to pause and reflect at the end of every chapter. The author took the time to understand this may benefit someone reading their story. Additionally, the author did not make the journal prompts feel like a requirement to enjoy the story. Everyone has their own way of digesting heavy material, she gives everyone grace to provide themselves the space they need.
I am not religious, nor do I resonate with any particular faith. However, I do have an appreciation for religion, it's history, and the empowerment it can bring humans to do good with the time they have. Though I may not have the same type of relationship with faith, you can understand the struggle with faith throughout the turmoil of the story. There is a symbol of hope, one that may call to someone experiencing or recovering from toxic situations. Reading through the author's faith and the strength she found shows the power of a strong, safe community.
As an individual who witnessed many of the times told by the author, there is a different weight when it is all laid out. Jen Evans combines real memories and events with personal journal entries and her innermost thoughts in a way which gives the reader a potential guide to their own turmoil.
There is so much to digest. All the happy memories fading into a bundle of hurt and illness. The post-divorce glow and watching her blossom into discovering her own happiness, healthy boundaries, and success. Reading through it all again, knowing the ending, and having experienced abusive past relationships, Jen did a great job creating a book that is not only a memoir but a testament to anyone experiencing their own toxic situations, abusive relationships (even non-romantic), or any situation in which they need a silver of hope. Maybe they need a nudge to find their faith or community again. There is something in this story for everyone, and may you take the pieces you need to lift yourself and others up.
There are moments to pause and reflect at the end of every chapter. The author took the time to understand this may benefit someone reading their story. Additionally, the author did not make the journal prompts feel like a requirement to enjoy the story. Everyone has their own way of digesting heavy material, she gives everyone grace to provide themselves the space they need.
I am not religious, nor do I resonate with any particular faith. However, I do have an appreciation for religion, it's history, and the empowerment it can bring humans to do good with the time they have. Though I may not have the same type of relationship with faith, you can understand the struggle with faith throughout the turmoil of the story. There is a symbol of hope, one that may call to someone experiencing or recovering from toxic situations. Reading through the author's faith and the strength she found shows the power of a strong, safe community.
As an individual who witnessed many of the times told by the author, there is a different weight when it is all laid out. Jen Evans combines real memories and events with personal journal entries and her innermost thoughts in a way which gives the reader a potential guide to their own turmoil.
There is so much to digest. All the happy memories fading into a bundle of hurt and illness. The post-divorce glow and watching her blossom into discovering her own happiness, healthy boundaries, and success. Reading through it all again, knowing the ending, and having experienced abusive past relationships, Jen did a great job creating a book that is not only a memoir but a testament to anyone experiencing their own toxic situations, abusive relationships (even non-romantic), or any situation in which they need a silver of hope. Maybe they need a nudge to find their faith or community again. There is something in this story for everyone, and may you take the pieces you need to lift yourself and others up.
September 30, 2026
Wow…I can’t say enough about how this book ministered to my heart.
Though I myself haven’t been through abuse in a relationship, I have experienced other forms of deep betrayal, and Jen’s story of how God brought her through the valley seasons into His hope gave me the same hope for my story.
In particular, I love Jen’s honesty to talk about the tension and wrestle that exists between enduring something (because we think it’s “expected” of us as a good Christian person) and surrendering it into God’s hands (NOT giving up…but true surrender that is asked of us from the Lord). Sometimes, the bravest and most mature step we can take is to realize when it’s time to release something to God. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do for others and ourselves is to let go. Sometimes, hanging on is what actually holds others back from growth or experiencing what God has for them. And sometimes, surrendering something to God is the only way we can heal (physically and spiritually) and someday reach a place where we can help others ourselves.
I recommend this book for anyone who has ever gone through a hard time in life (all of us)! Jen’s story perfectly showcases the redemption that God can bring into anyone’s story, and she tells it with such grace and love. I also enjoyed the question prompts at the end of each chapter so I could apply the concepts to my own life.
I’m so proud of Jen for speaking out on this particular issue, and I know God is going to use “When the Going Gets Toxic” to reach and create impact in so many lives.
Thank you to Jen and the publisher for the eARC so I could provide my honest review! 🤍
Though I myself haven’t been through abuse in a relationship, I have experienced other forms of deep betrayal, and Jen’s story of how God brought her through the valley seasons into His hope gave me the same hope for my story.
In particular, I love Jen’s honesty to talk about the tension and wrestle that exists between enduring something (because we think it’s “expected” of us as a good Christian person) and surrendering it into God’s hands (NOT giving up…but true surrender that is asked of us from the Lord). Sometimes, the bravest and most mature step we can take is to realize when it’s time to release something to God. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do for others and ourselves is to let go. Sometimes, hanging on is what actually holds others back from growth or experiencing what God has for them. And sometimes, surrendering something to God is the only way we can heal (physically and spiritually) and someday reach a place where we can help others ourselves.
I recommend this book for anyone who has ever gone through a hard time in life (all of us)! Jen’s story perfectly showcases the redemption that God can bring into anyone’s story, and she tells it with such grace and love. I also enjoyed the question prompts at the end of each chapter so I could apply the concepts to my own life.
I’m so proud of Jen for speaking out on this particular issue, and I know God is going to use “When the Going Gets Toxic” to reach and create impact in so many lives.
Thank you to Jen and the publisher for the eARC so I could provide my honest review! 🤍
Review of advance copy received from Author
This book is a powerful testament to finding God in the wreckage. Jen shares her painful journey through an abusive marriage, an unexpected divorce, and several auto-immune diseases. She writes with such vulnerability and honesty that it felt like I was sitting across from a close friend listening to their story. Jen has a talent for delivering deep, thought-provoking insights amidst her own struggles that will challenge you and your relationship with God.
Jen beautifully demonstrates that surrendering to God does not mean staying in an unsafe situation; instead, it means trusting Him enough to step into the unknown and place her future and health in His hands. I highly recommend this to anyone who finds themselves feeling alone while navigating an abusive relationship, anyone wrestling with chronic illness, or anyone in need of a powerful testimony of grace, hope, and strength.
Jen beautifully demonstrates that surrendering to God does not mean staying in an unsafe situation; instead, it means trusting Him enough to step into the unknown and place her future and health in His hands. I highly recommend this to anyone who finds themselves feeling alone while navigating an abusive relationship, anyone wrestling with chronic illness, or anyone in need of a powerful testimony of grace, hope, and strength.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Jen is such an incredible writer. The way the words flow, her vulnerability, and the grace she extends throughout her story are truly inspiring. This is an incredibly moving memoir. Jen shares her story with such authenticity, humility, and grace. The moments after each chapter to pause, reflect, and consider your own story are especially meaningful. I can see this being incredibly healing for anyone who has experienced a painful relationship while also offering hope to those who may simply need a reminder that redemption can come from even the hardest seasons. This book is beautifully written, deeply vulnerable, and full of grace. I truly believe this book is going to be redemptive for so many people who read it.
September 18, 2026
I thought this book sounded like a decent read but it is more than only that. It's a truly authentic story that can help the reader reflect on their own life and see where it needs strength and boldness just like Jen found to do the right things inside of navigating challenging even traumatic scenarios. I think people have read and will read this walking away knowing the next right steps to take. Sometimes it just takes one courageous individual being real with you for you to become real with yourself. This books offers the entry into just that.
Review of advance copy received from Author
A silent leak of marital struggle bursts at the seams when Jen comes into alignment with truth and starts building a healthy foundation from hope. This personal memoir readily brings tears to eyes as this story is unfortunately all too common amongst relationships. Jen provides reflective journaling prompts and specific resources for practical ways the readers can engage with the story if a common thread is set before them. A true testimony to impact the lives of others for generations to come!
Review of advance copy received from Author
Such a great read that both kept my interest right from the start & tugged on my heart strings. I loved how vulnerable the author was and how her faith was highlighted throughout the book! Good book for anyone!!!!
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews