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Le bonheur est entre vos mains
On the spiritual path we speak of enlightenment. But how do we reconcile the idea of enlightenment with what we see when we look in the mirror—when insecurities, doubts, and self-centered tendencies arise in our minds? Dzigar Kongtrül suggests that we need not feel "doomed" when these experiences surface. In fact, such experiences are not a problem if we are able to simply let them arise without judging them or investing them with so much meaning. This approach to experience is what Kongtrül calls self-reflection.
Self-reflection is a practice, a path, and an attitude. It is the spirit of taking an interest in that which we usually try to push away. When we practice self-reflection we take liberation into our own hands and accept the challenge and personal empowerment in Kongtrül’s title: it's up to you.
Self-reflection is a practice, a path, and an attitude. It is the spirit of taking an interest in that which we usually try to push away. When we practice self-reflection we take liberation into our own hands and accept the challenge and personal empowerment in Kongtrül’s title: it's up to you.
192 pages, Paperback
First published June 21, 2005
72 people are currently reading
813 people want to read
About the author
Dzigar Kongtrül III
12 books44 followersThe 3rd Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, also known as Jigme Namgyel, (Tibetan: འཛི་སྒར་ཀོང་སྤྲུལ་འཇིགས་མེད་རྣམ་རྒྱལ་, Wylie: 'dzi sgar kong sprul 'jigs med rnam rgyal, where "Rinpoche" is an honorific and not a surname) is a Tibetan Buddhist Lama of the Nyingma school, and is held to be one of the principle incarnations of Jamgön Kongtrül Lodrö Thayé, and the third such in a line traced through Dzigar Kongtrul Lodrö Rabpel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
April 10, 2015
I have read well over one hundred books on Buddhism. After a while, many of them seem to be pretty much the same. Some are books that focus on meditation, or the Four Noble Truths, or Karma, or the Eightfold Path, and they all share a weakness inherent in the limitation of the subject matter. Stated another way, after you have read one book about breath meditation, you have read them all.
Dzigar Kongtrul has a gift for explaining Tibetan Buddhism in a way that is very accessible to Westerners. He doesn't get bogged down, for example, in the more esoteric points of Tibetan cosmology. Rather, he uses examples that any person from the West can relate to and explains Buddhist concepts in ways that not only make sense but also are very engaging and leave the reader eager for more. This is one of the best books about Buddhism I have ever read, and I recommend it highly and without reservation!
Dzigar Kongtrul has a gift for explaining Tibetan Buddhism in a way that is very accessible to Westerners. He doesn't get bogged down, for example, in the more esoteric points of Tibetan cosmology. Rather, he uses examples that any person from the West can relate to and explains Buddhist concepts in ways that not only make sense but also are very engaging and leave the reader eager for more. This is one of the best books about Buddhism I have ever read, and I recommend it highly and without reservation!
January 17, 2016
I took the main message of this book to be, "take a good, hard, long look at your "self," and you'll see nothing there. This may be a painful, confusing, challenging realization, but the alternative of ignorance is even worse."
The teachings never get old, and always take time (and more importantly, practice) to sink in. That said, wonderful little book, very profound, and very thoughtfully and carefully written. Highly recommended!
The teachings never get old, and always take time (and more importantly, practice) to sink in. That said, wonderful little book, very profound, and very thoughtfully and carefully written. Highly recommended!
April 12, 2009
This is the best book I have read about Buddhism in my life. Granted, I am still a nascent Buddhist and have a lot more to read, but this book truly spoke to me. It's one of those rare books that actually has the power to change your life and your way of being, and one that I will most certainly re-read.
January 15, 2018
Depende De Ti es el primer libro publicado por Dzigar Kongtrul III, quizá uno de los maestros budistas más importantes de la actualidad. Su alumna más destacada es Pema Chodron, quien decidió seguir sus enseñanzas luego de que muriese su maestro Chögyam Trungpa. Desde este primer libro se puede sentir ya el profundo deseo de Dzigar Kongtrul por ayudar a los demás seres a librarse del sufrimiento. Hay una diferencia abismal entre los libros de autoayuda clásicos o new age y la inmensa sabiduría del budismo, en donde el trabajo lo haces tú, día a día, para ti y para otros. Pocos maestros y autores logran conocer a sus discípulos y lectores con la inquisidora y compasiva agudeza de este maestro. Eso, más la sinceridad y el humor con que habla de sí mismo y de nosotros; su energía suave, real y contagiosa, hacen de este libro un punto de partida perfecto para iniciarse en el camino del Dharma. No me canso de leer y recomendar a este hermoso maestro y agradecer el haberlo encontrado en mi camino. ❤️
June 16, 2012
I'm hesitant to rate this book. On the one hand it's the best Buddhism 101 (is there anything else?) book I've come across. The lessons are precise and kept simple by Kongtrul - as Buddhism classically does. On the other hand the simplicity bugged me; this clearly, is more about my current state of mind than the book. The repetitiveness of approach and teachings on the absolute made it an uninteresting read to me. But repetition is a teaching technique oft employed, and the subtle differences chapter to chapter can make all the difference; with each being of use to different individuals.
The most useful chapter for me was that on creativity, imploring us to make creative use of the Dharma when staleness settles into our practice and attitude (like mine above perhaps!). And some of the last words in this book are to me the most important: instructing us to examine everything, and take our life into our own hands, without which even the Buddha cannot help us.
It's a short read, thus painless, and could be of use to anyone at anytime.
The most useful chapter for me was that on creativity, imploring us to make creative use of the Dharma when staleness settles into our practice and attitude (like mine above perhaps!). And some of the last words in this book are to me the most important: instructing us to examine everything, and take our life into our own hands, without which even the Buddha cannot help us.
It's a short read, thus painless, and could be of use to anyone at anytime.
November 27, 2021
A useful book for those trying to create more welcoming homes inside themselves, to not overreacting to what the world has ingrained in us.
I especially liked how it laid out the reasons for doing more for others-you stay in the moment, get out of your head’s repeated thoughts, network with people on the same long journeys and realize that other people are going through a lot, some of it similar and some of it different than you.
Finally, It’s Up to You talks about not getting stuck with a religion, meditation practice or mindfulness community if it’s mainly about saying you do or convincing yourself that it’s a healthy routine. No one is a master as there are no levels. No status seeking will make a difference if you don’t figure out how to live more in the present, if you don’t live and let live, if you don’t talk and listen in equal measure.
The language here is powerful. The book is a bit short and a little on the formal side style-wise, but on the other hand it's something you can come back to again and again. It would be good to get on a bit of a new track through letting this soak in.
I especially liked how it laid out the reasons for doing more for others-you stay in the moment, get out of your head’s repeated thoughts, network with people on the same long journeys and realize that other people are going through a lot, some of it similar and some of it different than you.
Finally, It’s Up to You talks about not getting stuck with a religion, meditation practice or mindfulness community if it’s mainly about saying you do or convincing yourself that it’s a healthy routine. No one is a master as there are no levels. No status seeking will make a difference if you don’t figure out how to live more in the present, if you don’t live and let live, if you don’t talk and listen in equal measure.
The language here is powerful. The book is a bit short and a little on the formal side style-wise, but on the other hand it's something you can come back to again and again. It would be good to get on a bit of a new track through letting this soak in.
August 15, 2012
Dzigar Kongtrul, Rinpoche is a former professor at Naropa University and now director of his own teaching centers, Mangala Shri Bhuti. His new book, "It's Up To You" (Boston: Shambhala. 2006), comes from a series of conference call teachings with his students. Simple, straight-forward, well-written, and articulate, this book is a must read for all who wish to engage in self reflection on the Buddhist path.
"Holding to an ordinary notion of the self, or ego, is the source of all our pain and confusion. The irony is that when we look for this 'self' that we're cherishing and protecting, we can't even find it. The self is shifty and ungraspable. When we say 'I'm old,' we're referring to our body as self. When we say 'my body,' the self becomes the owner of the body. When we say 'I'm tired,' the self is equated with physical or emotional feelings. The self is our perceptions when we say 'I see,' and our thoughts when we say 'I think.' When we can't find a self within or outside of these parts, we may then conclude that the self is that which is aware of all these things - the knower or mind.
But when we look for the mind, we can't find any shape, or color, or form. The mind which we identify as the self which we could call ego-mind, controls everything we do. Yet it can't actually be found - which is somewhat spooky, as if a ghost were managing our home. The house seems to be empty, but all the housework has been done. The bed has been made, our shoes have been polished, the tea has been poured, and the breakfast has been cooked.
The funny thing is that we never question this. We just assume that someone or something is there. But all this time, our life has been managed by a ghost ... " (pp 5 - 6)
"Holding to an ordinary notion of the self, or ego, is the source of all our pain and confusion. The irony is that when we look for this 'self' that we're cherishing and protecting, we can't even find it. The self is shifty and ungraspable. When we say 'I'm old,' we're referring to our body as self. When we say 'my body,' the self becomes the owner of the body. When we say 'I'm tired,' the self is equated with physical or emotional feelings. The self is our perceptions when we say 'I see,' and our thoughts when we say 'I think.' When we can't find a self within or outside of these parts, we may then conclude that the self is that which is aware of all these things - the knower or mind.
But when we look for the mind, we can't find any shape, or color, or form. The mind which we identify as the self which we could call ego-mind, controls everything we do. Yet it can't actually be found - which is somewhat spooky, as if a ghost were managing our home. The house seems to be empty, but all the housework has been done. The bed has been made, our shoes have been polished, the tea has been poured, and the breakfast has been cooked.
The funny thing is that we never question this. We just assume that someone or something is there. But all this time, our life has been managed by a ghost ... " (pp 5 - 6)
June 14, 2020
I read this so quickly, it was definitely an ‘easy read’ as far as Buddhism goes but I did have to re-read certain sections to try to fully grasp the concepts. It is still not easy for me to understand a lot of these concepts mostly because they are so different than the western way of thinking, however I do believe this book has made it seem and feel like it will can easy to understand fully.
August 25, 2020
I'll 4.5 this. I began hesitant at reading a book with such a cliche self help title but it closing with the words 'It's up to you.' was spot on. I think Dzigar Kongtrül (Pema Chödrön's teacher) might be right, and all good teachers, and their masters, Buddhas, modern day folk, etc. Liberation depends on ourselves.
This has been my first extended learning of ego-mind and it was timely with some of my own fears being currently realised.
Actions in place when finishing book include working on not staying stuck in the deep funks that can steal the day. Literal shaking of such funks right off are now being incorporated. From here it'll be easy reminders to try and appreciate the challenges being faced, to not take things so seriously, build on creating a passion in exposing my faults (err), and not forcing myself in a certain spiritual direction just because.
I'm starting to like Buddhist theory as a way to uncover myself and connect with everyone, everything, but I'm not inclined to be learning ancient names right now or taking vows or getting lost in sects (insects) and institutions. Reading as they come. Continued self study. Got it.
This has been my first extended learning of ego-mind and it was timely with some of my own fears being currently realised.
Actions in place when finishing book include working on not staying stuck in the deep funks that can steal the day. Literal shaking of such funks right off are now being incorporated. From here it'll be easy reminders to try and appreciate the challenges being faced, to not take things so seriously, build on creating a passion in exposing my faults (err), and not forcing myself in a certain spiritual direction just because.
I'm starting to like Buddhist theory as a way to uncover myself and connect with everyone, everything, but I'm not inclined to be learning ancient names right now or taking vows or getting lost in sects (insects) and institutions. Reading as they come. Continued self study. Got it.
May 22, 2021
5/5 recommend this book to everyone. So well-written, not too complex in the lexicon, and it brought another level of awareness to mind. the minute my mind starts running away from me or trying to over complicate what simply exists, i pick this up. It reminds me of The Tao of Pooh. the more we take “I” out of our thoughts, the more peace we can have in being present and simply existing.
October 14, 2007
If you've ever experienced any self-doubt this book may speak to you as it did to me. Written by a former Buddhist monk who himself has struggled on his own path, it is not about self-help, but self-reflection. I later attended a retreat with him at Rocky Mountain Shambla Center and he was as funny and wise as he is in this book. He doesn't let you forget to laugh at yourself.
October 16, 2011
When I first was given this book years ago, I thought it was kind of obvious & trite. Revisiting it recently, it lights up for me. Taking it slow, it is powerful medicine.
November 13, 2024
I really appreciated the direct and concise nature of this book on dharma practice. To summarize, self reflection can be the key to staying grounded during difficult times, and is the key to being both realistic and positive in your thoughts and actions. Also, have a sense of humor about your life, and the lives of all other humans- we tend to run smack dab into exactly what we try to avoid in life, for one irony. I am so glad I picked up this book and spent time reading it and less time doom scrolling the past week.
February 9, 2025
A short read I really enjoyed. A little deeper cut into meditative theory, and its application to daily life, than surface level self-help.
“Emotions can only overtake us when we’re unaware of them. Then it’s like the tail wagging the dog.”
“What if we could see through our beliefs and fears the way we see through a movie? We could begin to have fun with them, laugh at them, and let them be. Taking them too seriously defeats the purpose of everything we’re trying to do on our path. We could do ourselves a big favor by just letting this discursive mind be.”
“Emotions can only overtake us when we’re unaware of them. Then it’s like the tail wagging the dog.”
“What if we could see through our beliefs and fears the way we see through a movie? We could begin to have fun with them, laugh at them, and let them be. Taking them too seriously defeats the purpose of everything we’re trying to do on our path. We could do ourselves a big favor by just letting this discursive mind be.”
June 23, 2019
This is a good book! There are a lot of interesting points to meditate on, interesting points of views. For some reasons I do not understand, at first it didn’t take me in but, by the end I was sorry it was over. I felt better just to listen to it. I read it twice, the second time around just immediately after I reached the end of the first time. The second time around I had the same impression, that it gets betters as you go on.
October 18, 2021
Another reviewer @Cathy R, wrote "When I first was given this book years ago, I thought it was kind of obvious & trite. Revisiting it recently, it lights up for me. Taking it slow, it is powerful medicine."
I only resonated with the first half of her review. Maybe it's time to revisit it?
I only resonated with the first half of her review. Maybe it's time to revisit it?
May 5, 2017
Full of insights.
July 30, 2017
Informative.
November 22, 2017
Good book on Buddhism! I like these kinds of reads because they keep me motivated and help me reflect on how I am living. If you are look for a how-to-do-Buddhism manual, maybe look elsewhere.
April 14, 2019
Nails it.
June 7, 2020
Read this if you are a Tibetan Buddhist practioner.
September 20, 2020
Really good.
October 10, 2020
"Are we willing to be present long enough to see our habits? This is the challenge of self-reflection." p. 72
September 23, 2022
I can’t remember the last time I went and purchased a book after borrowing it from the library
February 27, 2023
A guide for life. A must-read for anyone interested in the Dharma path.
December 14, 2024
He explains very profound ideas in a way that is easily understood. It’s all about how we approach things…and the dance.
September 1, 2016
Re-read this book a second time. Simple yet profound. Letting of the ego is, I find, to be challenging as it seems to go against the very 'nature of being' as we are all given an individualistic identity. And we have emotions. As an example, in the practice of compassion, in helping others, one feels happy, feels satisfy and feels proud of oneself... isn't that ego and emotions at play?
Quoting the author from the Chapter on Dancing with Habits and Fears; "Even loving-kindness and compassion-positive qualities to have on the spiritual path- are mere adornments of our true nature".
So what is really our 'true nature'?
Quoting the author from the Chapter on Dancing with Habits and Fears; "Even loving-kindness and compassion-positive qualities to have on the spiritual path- are mere adornments of our true nature".
So what is really our 'true nature'?
August 22, 2016
A book to keep on the highest shelf of heart and home, I would recommend it as one of the very best and most important works I've ever read. Although difficult at times to read for its demanding self-honesty, one can genuine look forward to re-reading it again and again, chewing on each bit, line by line. May appreciation and blessings rain upon Rinpoche and the lineage from which this work came; may it continue to bless and awaken those who read it, gazing into the cosmic mirror for infinite generations to come.
August 17, 2024
Interesting little book about self-reflection. The author touches upon various subjects on the path. It's an easy read and suitable for newcomers to Buddhism. But in the end, it didn't tell me so much.
June 25, 2009
I may have to buy this one (it was checked out from the library). There is so much to savor in this slim volume I don't think I'll be able to absorb it all within my 3 week checkout time limit.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews