Alfie

Alfie #1

by Bill Naughton

Alfie's not really a bad guy. It's just that he has this overwhelming desire for the ladies. You might say that ‘birds’ are irresistible to him, sort of second nature. There's Ruby - ‘A lust box in beautiful condition’; Clare - ‘You're all lathered in sweat, Alfie’; and Siddie, and Crala, and Annie - but who's counting? Certainly not Alfie. Three in one evening if necessary. And necessary is the right word.

Genres: Fiction, Classics, Plays, British Literature, Novels

208 pages, Paperback

First published December 31, 1963

About the author

William John Francis Naughton (1910-1992) was a popular ‘working class’ author and playwright who was born in Ballyhaunis, County Mayo, Ireland in June 1910 and died in early January 1992 in Ballasalla, Isle of Man. He was four years old when his family moved to Bolton, Lancashire, where, after leaving school around 1924, he worked as a weaver, coal-bagger and lorry-driver, enjoying a variety of experience and knowledge before starting to write with a rare honesty and perception about ‘ordinary’ people. Although ‘Alfie’ is the play with which he will always be associated, mostly because of the film starring Michael Caine, he was a prolific writer of quality work which included such notable plays as ‘My Flesh My Blood’, ‘All In Good Time’; plus novels, short stories and children’s books. Two other plays were made into films –‘Spring and Port Wine’, with James Mason as Rafe Crompton, and ‘The Family Way’, which starred John Mills. His work also included ‘One Small Boy’, ‘A Roof Over Your Head’, and short story collections such as ‘Late Night on Watling Street’ ‘The Bees Have Stopped Working’, and ‘The Goalkeeper's Revenge’. Among his most popular autobiographical works, well worth seeking out, are ‘On The Pig’s Back’ and ‘Saintly Billy’.

Reviews

[Paul Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

My name’s Alfie, you know me. I’m what they call a bit of a Jack the lad, in fact, I’d go so far as to say that I’m sort of like the poster boy for all Jack the lads there ever was.

If there’s two things I like to do, then the first thing is having it away with a nice old married bird, they’re so much more grateful than the single ones, I have found, and the second thing is chewing somebody’s ear off about all the interesting observations I have made about life. When I say life, course, I generally mean the old how’s your father and the ways you can get yourself set up just lovely. If you’re a bloke that is. But even if you’re a bird all is not lost. You just have to figure out a few of the basics and you’ll be okay too. But for blokes, this is the way I think it should go.

I believe that for any self-respecting geezer, he needs three birds on the go at any one time. Otherwise he may get a little depressed. You may take my word that four is too much. With four mistakes will be made, and there may be consequences. And with only two you could find yourself at a loose end of an evening as they are both otherwise engaged or not in the mood for the hanky panky. Which would never do. So that’s why you need the three. It’s best if two are married like I say and one is a single.

Now where a lot of blokes go wrong is, they only fancy the good looking birds. For my system to work, you have to broaden your horizons. Don’t discount the possibilities. If it's a little bit on the chubby side, it’s no problem, it can be a lot of fun. If it’s a bit young, also not a problem, although a bit tricky, and there’s a line there as anyone can tell you. And ugly birds, when their little faces are lit up with enthusiasm about the job at hand, so to speak, they can look quite presentable too. Variety is the spice, you know.

Now the other thing which is where most blokes fall down is that you should not get involved. The minute it turns from grateful and happy to irritable and mouthy, you’re out of there. No backward glances. You’re a memory. And you’ve probably got a spare third one sorted out for that eventuality, if you see what I mean. Because the day will always come, nothing lasts forever.


*

Alfie is a natural Buddhist.

“You never want to let yourself get attached to anybody or anything in this life, Harry."
“Why not?” he said.
“If you’re going to talk like that,“ I said, “I’m not going to tell you.”


Alfie sees the truth and let’s people know what it is:

All I said to you was that you never know with a bird where it’s been or what it’s done. If many a man only knew what was going on inside his wife’s head while he was talking to her, or even doing the other, what a bloody shock they’d get!

Alfie appreciates women:

On much closer inspection up and down I think I’d put her in her late thirties. She could be thirty-seven or thirty-eight, in fact she could be forty, top-weight. But she’s in beautiful condition. And when I say beautiful condition I don’t mean she’s in hard condition, like you get a good little working pony, but in perfect soft condition, like you get a filly that’s been out to grass, not overworked, and is sleek, fat, round and has got a lovely glossy coat and is in good nick and rearing to go.

(Rearing? He means raring. Alfie is not well educated, it must be said. He’s a bit of a barrow boy.)

And :

I’m always prepared to make an adjustment. If I’m having it off with a short bandy-legged bint I keep telling myself how marvellous bow legs are and asking myself why I don’t go in for them more. Same with great big fat birds. Whoever I’m with at the time is my favourite type, if you see what I mean. That’s what we’re here for, to make one another happy.

Alfie is a bit of a poser :

"I think I’ll have a whisky", I said. "A Dimple Haig, if you’ve got it." I knew she hadn’t. And to be quite frank I wouldn’t know a Dimple Haig from Long Tom except for the shape of the bottle, but I find I like reeling off a name now and again.

And Alfie is Michael Caine. His is the voice you hear in your head as you read this speedy, funny, sad, piquant swinging London novel. No one else could possibly do.

A woman told me she once went paralysed down one side of her face forcing herself to laugh at her old man’s jokes what she’d heard two million times. Yes, you make a married woman laugh and you’re halfway there. Course it doesn’t work with a single bird. It’ll set you off on the wrong foot. You get one of them laughing and you don’t get nothing else.

This was outrageous fun. Essential for feminists with a large supply of blood pressure tablets handy.

[Toby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding a battered Panther edition of this classic story that typifies London of a certain period whilst wandering around London "on business" seemed like fate, I can't say it helped me to appreciate the novel or the city more or less than if I'd read it at any other time but it was an enjoyable time nonetheless.

A portrait of an unpleasant man aware of his limitations as narrated by himself; Alfie is wickedly funny, an entertaining observational piece that works as a document of London after the war, delightfully playful when it comes to dialect and slang, filled with misogyny and homophobic opinions that seem hopelessly outdated in 2013, and still manages to blend the internal monologue and active deceit of the narrator with great success. That this is essentially a novelisation of Bill Naughton's own stageplay is quite remarkable, thanks to extensive entertaining descriptive passages and adding to the internal conflict within the protagonist that wasn't found in previous stage or film versions this feels like a wholly new work. Whilst Michael Caine is synonymous with the character of Alfie thanks to his charismatic performance and unique method of line delivery, I was impressed that Naughton didn't feel the need to write this novel with Caine in mind to the extent that I could treat this Alfie as an entirely different entity.

As far as a different look at the so-called "Angry Young Men" of this era goes Alfie paints a much more aware picture, he's a pseudo-rebel in a time of rebels but he can't look beyond the next little bird, bint, tart, girl, brass; a selfish man who happily admits to his failings and has nothing to rail against. It's almost as if Naughton is saying to Osborne, Sillitoe et al "look at what your angst and anger brought upon us, are you happy now?"

[Dennis]

I know he's supposed to be a chauvinist pig. But I'm just not in the mood for this.

DNF: 26%

Time of death: 8:41 p.m. (CEST)

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alfie.. Is a rake by such enormous standards! A jerk. A fool and a selfish player...and yet one can not put this book down.

Let's first talk about the skills of author Bill Naughton. I'd seen he Alfie movie (the version starring Jude Law) years ago and I enjoyed the film. (Of course, who doesn't enjoy watching Jude Law.) I had no idea Alfie was also a book or written decades ago at that. I really had no intention of reading this but book browsing one day chanced see Jude's face on the cover and decided to pick it up and give it a glance. Well, upon scanning the first page this slightly quirky British cockney accent jumps off the page with such hypnotic intriguing force, I found I didn't want to put it down even in the store. I had to get it. Alfie starts narrating his story, ya see (Alfie speak) and once he gets started you really don't fancy he should stop because he's just that curious. So I had I make this my next read cause I had to know just what in the world. And that's me saying great things about this author. The ability to drag one in from the first page is truly a skill in deed. Where he drew the life of this Alfie character I'll never know but assume maybe it's a few real life guys rolled into one. I should hope that this was not a personal account in any way because Alfie was... I don't even think saying he was a "character" would due justice to this authors creation. Kudos to his authors skill all the way around.

Now... Alfie. Alfie narrates us through his "adventures", let's call them. Oh he's talkative. Never a silent moment. Never at a loss for words. He's constantly spewing his , backward, nonsensical Alfie-isms about life, how to live it and how to handle birds (his 1960's derogatory term for women.) Alfie, is a self centered worse than chauvinist pig. He is a promiscuous bastard who actually believe he's doing a service to the varied women that he meets by going to bed..or to car back seat..or wherever he takes them to give them his "favors", shall we say. The things he said, the things he did, (although not to fear the raunchy details are not expounded upon thankfully) were appalling and yet the crazy/ funny fact is that there are real life Alfie's in one form or another roaming, doing their disservice to women. I don't think there is a woman alive who if they have ever been in the dating pool has not encountered an Alfie or at least someone bearing his characteristics or demented, selfish philosophies. I kept reading. Being the deconstucter that I am, I kept trying to listen.. would Alfie tell us what happened in his childhood or young adulthood that caused him to live life with this disorder. (Oh yes because it is a handicap.) Shed some light Alfie. Make some sense as a study of all the broken hearts issued by men who are full of nothing but hot air and their own rancid sh*t. And then it hit me.. He's narcissistic. He cared only for himself leaving a traumatized pile of heart broken and at times ruined women in his wake. I cursed him out and put this book down so many times. And then I'd pick it up again because I held hope that he might change. One of his ridiculous antics that got him into hot water would finally jolt him enough that he would see the error of his ways, repent and turn over a new leaf. But, alas can a leopard ever change his spots? And should one hold their breath?

I've wrestled with giving this any higher score. The authors talent most definitely warrants it, however, I guess I'll say at the sins of this fathers (authors) child I just can not praise an Alfie. I want to manifest him and kickbox his rancid behind into a corner. Now knowing Alfie he'd still try it and I'd have to go superhero on him freeze him and then shatter him into a thousand pieces. Moo-ahahahaha!!! Take that you over sexed freak! You must be destroyed!!!!! Whoops, sorry. Needed come down from my Alfie anger.
I do actually recommend this to everyone in fact for the simple fact of keeping ourselves in check. Men, in case you have some Alfie-isms this will check you and realize the error of your ways and shame you into better. Hopefully it wouldn't inspire any followers because Alfie's end up old, alone and ridiculous. Women, you may be dealing with an Alfie and this book will be that wake up call. And if you've got an Alfie in your past you will take a solemn moment to thank your maker for setting you free from the bondage of that foolish waste of time.
Also, I recommend because all in all it is a very readable book. Quirky, at times funny and entertaining by a long shot.

**I plan to watch the movie again and I am almost positive I remember Hollywood glamming it up and toning it down. I'll post movie comparisons below*

[Antonomasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alfie is a classic unreliable narrator as I learned the term – at school when studying another piece of Northern writing originally designed as drama, Alan Bennett's Talking Heads. He says something and then shortly afterwards contradicts, with words or action his own stated opinion of himself – or rather contradicts the way “most people” would interpret what he said, a sort of unconscious hypocrisy. Sometimes he does it in the same sentence: I don't mean thieving or anything like that, just the odd few bob a day [taken from the till at work].

Having thought about it in the last few months, I'm not sure I like the term “unreliable narrator”, especially the way it's often used on Goodreads - a way of dismissing certain types of characters [and by implication real people who resemble them]. Is anyone's self awareness 100%? Must people outwardly demonstrate exhaustive awareness of their contradictions at all times to please those who place themselves in judgement? Does any first-person account really contain full understanding of others' experiences of the same situation? And words and concepts have slightly different meanings to people within their own personal subculture (created out of what they know, whether that's friends and family, what they've read and watched etc). “Thieving” in the idiolect of Alfie and his mates – and his dad and step-mum who've fenced goods for him down the pub – evidently has a particular meaning narrower than it does in the eyes of the law and people who would never pilfer.

I'd rather literature were seen as a way of understanding our common humanity with dodgy characters without having the unpleasant experiences that knowing some of them might entail; they're not entirely anathema – we probably have things in common with them even if we'd never do the worst things they do. Some of these characters are like manifestations of id - Alfie is a good example of this type - doing things many more people think of than actually do, or things many readers have grown out of. (A long time ago I, similarly, walked out for several hours on someone who was having an operation - someone I shouldn't really have been going out with because I didn't fancy or respect them enough, though I kept trying to persuade myself to because I knew they deserved it. I remember intending to support, then that sudden claustrophobic feeling of Have to get out of here. I've been too much of a rotter myself not to understand those who in turn hurt me.)

Anyway, Alfie does sometimes mention how his opinions and lifestyle change back and forth over time in a way that seems very realistic in its unevenness and partial self-awareness – people do change and he's also not on some unwavering forward “journey” of “personal development” with all the backward steps unadmitted. He's more introspective than his reputation (in the films) would have it, although he hasn't achieved some of total understanding of himself, and considerably less so of the way other people might experience him. He's a study in sensitivity manifested as selfishness (a way in which he reminds me of myself and of some of those I've loved most), a man who prefers the company of women to groups of other blokes, but due to his era and own upbringing and personality is unable to get to know them as people, just conquests whose status is always teetering between pleasure source and potential nuisance. He's usually chipper but there's a sadness inside, he walks away from things that are too emotional (like a teenage nerdboy posting a rage comic about too many feels) – all very avoidant/dismissing attachment in psychology terms. Sometimes he's almost sociopathic: talking to Gilda, he explains that trust is something to be encouraged and exploited for money, not, as she sees it, honoured and enjoyed for its own sake as part of a connection with people you like. And for all his obsession with money, he hasn't really got very far: he does a bit of grifting and pilfering and fencing – yet from some of the other things he says you'd think he'd be one of those types who worked his way up from guttersnipe to millionaire's row like Alan Sugar. It's hard not to agree with Harry that unless Alfie changes, he'll end up friendless when he's old.

I'd love to know what Bill Naughton's intentions were underlying the play and book. Was Alfie simply a character study of a type of man he'd met (perhaps to an extent been)? Was he a moral critique of casual sex among the working classes, or free love in the swinging sixties? (The film ended up being the latter, though it's not what it tends to stick in the mind for.)

On Goodreads when I last read reviews (and that not for a while – this is another book I started last year) he was more hated than feted but you can always find articles about characters like him which say “all men are like this underneath”, meaning the writer and some of his mates are, – though others reading may disagree, because they're genuinely a different type of person, like Harry in the novel. A great mistake I made when first seeing the film aged 16 or 17, and at too many points in the years afterwards having let it become a habit, was to assume that men I fancied were basically all like Alfie, just pretending not to be if they weren't on the outside or if some signs contradicted it. (For me that was not a cue to avoid the men but to get them to “be themselves” and to try and be that way myself – until with some I cracked under the strain of emotions which had become too strong to conceal, and which were ill-suited to the situation I'd helped create. There were, though, some people with whom it worked well on both sides. Unfortunately I didn't realise that I was as inaccurate, idiotic and insulting as if men assumed that all women, including me, were exactly like the typical Cosmo reader in every way.) One film wasn't wholly responsible of course; there were many sources for that sort of assumption. And the real problems were more having been brought up to regard romantic love as shameful and weak, plus the scarcely believable absence of real life men and boys whilst I was between the ages of 6 and 18 and noticing how men in the media had so many more interesting and entertaining things to say than the women and girls I knew. But the book makes it clearer what sort of character Alfie is by making the theft and grifting more evident: he's not really a sharp-suited everyman, he's just another horny crook like Keith Talent in Martin Amis' London Fields (albeit a Mod with it), just one person, and I wish I'd been able to see that twenty years ago.

So far so much futile melancholy, but for two days as I was finishing this, I was humming that mischievous commentary on 90s New Lad and retro culture, The Divine Comedy's 'Becoming More Like Alfie'. Unlike some musicians who were criticised around the same time for apparently unreconstructed masculine/chauvinist lyrics, I don't think anyone really thought Neil Hannon, with his already-established weedy shy romantic posh-boy persona, believed “everybody knows that no means yes, just like glasses come free on the NHS”. (When songwords have been in your head for the best part of two decades you forget to notice embarrassing rhymes...) I'm not sure if someone could so easily get away with such a lyric even as irony and critique today, but all it really seemed to mean, especially as as an existing fan, was that he'd started saying “phwoargh” occasionally and no longer always waited for girls to make the first move.

[Licha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh Alfie, Alfie. Did you learn anything by the end of it all?

Alfie is selfish, a player, and just completely clueless when it comes to life and women. He’s so clueless in his own little world of justifications for the way he treats women and explanations for the way women think that he truly believes he has all the answers to life and love (or how to steer clear of it, at least). He refers to women as objects, often times calling them “it”, bird, or bint. These women, and there are plenty, all serve one purpose, and that is to provide pleasure for Alfie. He sees them as nothing more and is so ready to discard them when he has no more use for them or when things get a bit complicated. And yet, I couldn’t help but like Alfie, with all his cluelessness.

At one point I was rooting for him when he somewhat seemed like he could possibly settle down with Gilda. It would have been nice to see what Alfie could have been around his son Malcolm. There was a soft side to Alfie in the presence of Malcolm. But a man like Alfie is not one to settle down.

What is it going to take for this man to finally grow up, to for once value what a woman is? When I finally came to a culminating event in Alfie’s life, I almost started hyperventilating just reading about it and then became sad that this is what it was going to have to take to make Alfie finally grow up. But oddly, Alfie makes a statement that started me on an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Instead of being sad or disgusted at what was going on, I found myself laughing hard at the fact that even after all this Alfie did not grasp the seriousness of what had just happened to him. And then I had to ask myself why I was laughing at something so serious. What is wrong with me? This is a book where I would like to read a sequel to find out what happens to Alfie as he gets older. Does he finally grow up?

Once a player, always a player.

[James Rhodes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I avoided this book (and the film) for years because it was recommended to me by an idiot. However, in stark contrast to what my idiot friend told me this novel is not about the epic love adventures of a cheeky cockney chap; it is about the pathetic loneliness of a laddish gadabout.

Naughton's control over first person writing is incredible. Alfie is multi-layered with almost no sense of self-awareness but just enough to make him tragic. His mistakes are heart breaking as is his inability to learn from them.

Naughton gives the character an authentic and compelling voice, presents the character in his own words and passes no authorial judgement on him. However, by the end of the story I cannot imagine anyone thinking of Alfie as a character to aspire to be like.

[Annika]

No rating since it's assigned reading, but I dislike any book where women are treated like objects meant only to pleasure men. Also, when they're referred to as "it" rather than "she".

[Hilary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant! I've never seen the unreliable narrator handled with such deftness by an author before. The first-person view is never ever shaken, and yet the reader is the one who discovers "what's it all about."

[Corey · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great first-person voice. What a marvelous cad.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Setting: London, England; 1960's.
Part-time chauffeur and self-confessed 'casanova' Alfie apparently sets about to seduce as many women as he can, seemingly regardless of age, looks or any like-minded values, providing they are willing to make themselves available to him!
This is very much a book of the 1960's, with its outdated views on women and relations between the sexes. Reading it now, you could almost read it as a 'tongue-in-cheek', light-hearted denigration of past attitudes. However, there are some elements that prevent this from being in any way a comfortable read - in particular, the regular references to women using the pronoun 'it' rather than 'she/her' or even, heaven forbid, using their name. This really made me squirm and feel very uncomfortable!
It is possible that the author was intending to show how Alfie 'changed for the better' during the book - Part One was entitled 'Money is everything', Part Two was 'What use is money without good health?' (following the main character's TB scare) and Part Three was 'If you haven't got peace of mind you've got nothing' - but any change to Alfie seemed pretty minimal to me over the course of the book. A bit dated for me but interesting to read it - 6.5/10.

[CQM · Rating 4 out of 5]

A marvellous feat of first person narration.
Started out as a radio play, then went on the stage before film and novelisation. Novelisation often puts me off but this is right up there with the film version. The book has been sitting on my shelf for donkeys (must ne nearly 30 years) and I wish I'd read it sooner.

[Frederick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read about half of this book, but what I've read so far is very amusing and very chilling. I gather ALFIE was first a play, then a movie and then a novel, but, inasmuch as the play, the screenplay and the novel were each written by Bill Naughton, I think I may say that ALFIE is, in either of its incarnations, the expression of one artist's view of a particular type of man.
While not deep in a Jamesian sense or daring in the Joycean, ALFIE is a very good, book-length interior monologue. If a reader gets nothing from it other than a sense of urban British slang in the post-World War Two era, Alfie is a memorable book. But it is, I think, a realistic portrait of a man whose outmoded view of the world keeps him from fully participating in it. He always wants to impose his rules on it, not merely because he is selfish, which he is, but because he has been raised in ignorance of the coming changes. He is corrupt, but that is not what makes him different from others. What makes him different is his awareness that he is despised for his inability to climb socially. People from exactly his class are getting ahead for the first time in many years. He is not going to get ahead. His peers are leaving him behind.
For all his womanizing, he is ineffectual. For all his monstrousness, he is timorous.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for any young woman starting to date.

Alfie is young, good looking, and goes through women like a box of Kleenex. He was born poor, a Cockney like Eliza Doolittle, and is conscious of his low status in English society. When he's not thinking about bedding all the women he comes into contact with, he's thinking about money. His favorite "bird" (as he terms them) is, not surprisingly, a wealthy woman who's too clever to take him seriously.

What's great about this highly entertaining and yet dark novel is that the author passes no judgment on Alfie and people like him. Instead, Alfie's voice reveals all - he justifies his indiscretions by claiming he's actually doing the women a favor, and his rationalizations show just how much of a narcissist he is.

If you ever wanted to know what goes on the mind of a man who treats women badly, just read this. Though it was written in the 1960s, it is still timely for understanding men like Harvey Weinstein.

The abortion scene is still as chilling today as when it was written, and at a time when Roe vs. Wade is under attack, a chilling reminder of what illegal abortions looked like.

Though short, this book is deep and disturbing. Once you pick it up, it's hard to put down - the character's voice is just mesmerizing.

[Ian Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s Alfie. Is there anymore to say? I’ve seen the movie a hundred times, the one which made Caine after the role was turned down by more eminent actors due to its controversial protagonist’s promiscuity not because he is a despicable misogynistic self-centred rake. Though there are Alfies about still, this is of its time; you wouldn’t get away with it now - the watered down Jude Law remake proves it.

Bill Naughton wrote the screenplay, based on his theatre play some time before. In the same year as the movie’s release, he published the novel. It is very faithful to the film’s narrative, or vice versa, but as a novel and even with the film’s regular breaking of the fourth wall, the book delves slightly deeper into Alfie’s thoughts and musings. Shorter scenes are given length and detail. Idiosyncratic turn of phrases are added which are really quite funny - I don’t think these all appear in the film - and the ending is different but not too much.

Of course, Alfie Elkins isn’t to be admired, that isn’t the intention. He’s a wake up call to self-centredness and misogyny. We all knew that all along. Naughton has, I think, done an excellent job, it’s enjoyable, wryly amusing and well written, in a cockney vernacular which echoes the performance in the film. If you like the film, you should like this. The one thing that’s sorely missed is Sonny Rollins’ theme.

[York · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alfie es ese adorable hijo de puta que todos quisiéramos como amigo, o que en algún momento de la vida hemos sido. Un patán consumado en periodos tan ausentes de pertenencias que va encontrando los fragmentos de su hogar bajo las faldas de cada dama que conquista compulsivamente. Esta suerte de abuelo del personaje de Barney Stinson de How I Met Your Mother, tiene unos matices más complejos, dramáticos y efectivos que realmente lo vuelven alguien entrañable. Como una especie de Holly Golightly en versión británica, cínica, rota, triste y masculina. Con una hermosa fijación poética por referirse a las mujeres como "aves".

Sin embargo la masculinidad de Alfie y su misoginia se antojan aquí como un mecanismos de defensa y evasión, contra la vida, la juventud que se escapa cada día y la maldición esa de despertar solo en cama, o peor aún, con alguien que no te puede importar menos.

Confieso que terminé tomando el libro detonado por la simpática película de Jude Law (que está muy vagamente basada en el texto original), pero en realidad Alfie resultó ser algo más entrañable, vigente y empático de lo que jamás hubiera esperado.

Lo que no me excusa del grandísimo bestia que he sido... What's it all about, Alfie?

[Camille · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found a 1968 paperback at my parents' place and guess that my mum probably read it in the late 60s or early 70s. I'm not really sure why I brought it back to Colombia, maybe it was for the old book smell, but it was a surprisingly excellent read.

I think it's interesting that the play and film script came before it was adapted into a book, as usually it's the other way around. Despite Alfie's narcissism and his hideous treatment of his birds, there is something charismatic about him and even when he's at his absolute worst there's something redeeming there.

Ordinarily my feministic bent would despise this story of a male slut who thinks he's god's gift to women, but it is so well written and Alfie's character is so well developed, that I was able to forgive it. There are lots of shocking moments and a number of laughs as well.

I should be outraged by Alfie, but I can't help but grin and shake my head.
I think I've seen the Jude Law film version of Alfie, but now I'm keen to see the original with Michael Caine. I can't recall another book where I played out such a detailed film in my head while reading it.

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel captures one element of the 1960s revolution in English social mores with humour & pathos, as Alfie Elkins tries hard to keep himself sexually & socially satisfied by cutting a swathe through a variety of foolish, gullible women who fall, haphazardly, across his libidinous path. Alfie has some loose but not altogether callous moral standards but they certainly aren't those of a man intimidated by feminism or political correctness! As the narrator of his own exploits, he is obviously endeavouring to give a positive view of his casual womanising, though he ruefully, admits towards the end of this perky litany of self-justification, that men couldn't handle life's vicissitudes as well as women seem to. This is not for the faint-hearted female reader, as it pulls no punches about mens' ageless, timeless, peccadilloes & lusts. But a good read for a nostalgia-prone, middle-aged male Londoner like me!

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always had a soft spot for the Michael Caine movie version of Alfie and this book from whence much of it came doesn't deviate much from the film...making it in many ways a companion piece rather than vastly superior or lesser.
Despite the fact some of the language and situations within age the book a little the fact is Alfies philosophy of life still exists and this enables the book to remain relevant.
As usual with books Alfie is much more fleshed out here than in the film although the situations remain the same as the celluloid version it's just really the sequence of things slightly alters.
Anyhow an enjoyable book that has been nestling on my book shelf for an age...great to finally read it and I wouldn't mind exploring other bits by this author..Alice had a engaging style and the cynicism was tempered with some self awareness on Alfies part and liberal use of humour.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Alfie is a play-boy whose only concern is finding the next women he is going to bed. Its all fun and games until the inevitable happens, one of the women falls pregnant.

I know this is supposed to be some kind of rite of passage book that anyone who respects British Literature should read, but I need to be honest, I was bored. Maybe because I saw the movie years ago, and my only memory was Jude Law as a play-boy. I expected more humor? A quicker plot? I would've fared better if it had been a little more light, with some jokes when dealing with the heavy stuff. I know my biggest issue is that I had expectations. From my reviews I'm sure its clear that I am frequently disappointed when I expect more.

Just not for me.

[Rebecca Haslam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I remember seeing the film of this years ago when Jude Law was actually a fine looking guy, and enjoying it quite a bit. I have had this book for some time but as I work my way through my boxes of reading material I have only come across it now. To be honest, I was not that impressed by the book. I found little of it funny despite the Guardian saying it was 'ferociously' so in its review, and I couldn't help but feel that were I to cross a guy like Alfie I'd want to run a mile in the opposite direction. I wouldn't recommend this to many people. nor will I read it again, but it passed a few hours on a recent train trip!

[Kevin Kosar · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rather fun read---Alfie is a remarkable male who finds ways to justify and slap a happy smile on just about anything, particularly his own rotten behavior toward women. He is quite the character, although not as outrageous and colorful as Sebastian Dangerfield of The Ginger Man. Many younger readers may find it illuminating to read of life in England in the 1960s. Materials comforts were few. But too little of the book describes the streets in which Alfie navigates. The reader little sees what Alfie sees, and mostly gets his own philosophizing about things. Which, honestly, can grow a bit tedious. I am, however, glad I read this novel.

[Adrian Santiago · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting but... THE MOVIE WAS BETTER.
And you can't usually say that.

Nice book, you get to "hate" Alfie, from the movie I pitty him but the novel's Alfie god, I just don't feel bad at all for him. It is interesting to see things like domination, fetish and mentions to "weird" guys who like or do things for other guys.

About the girls... well, I do feel and understand what each one of them represent. And it makes you think a lot about what guys think about relationships and things like that.

[Ash · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a load of sexist shit. A well crafted voice, but my god what a prick Alfie was.

Highlights: Alfie constantly reduces women to their bodies, treats them like crap, and somehow manages to get more of them to fuck him. I was a particular fan (note sarcasm) of the way he talked about women as 'its'. "it's a pretty little thing", "It was doing the washing" e.g. Lovely dehumanisation of women.

Did it deserve to have two major movies made about it? No. Not really.

[Emilia P · Rating 3 out of 5]

Phew, finally.
This is like A Clockwork Orange set in the real world.
Kind of horrid things said about ladies suggesting that the narrator has a pretty serious complex about them more than the author really meaning these things about ladies. Consistently fun, and oddly philosophical. Definitely worth the read.

Of course, took me too long to finish, but that's my own fault.

[Wide Eyes, Big Ears! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this audiobook, just the right cockney accent and sense of superiority! This book is hard to stomach in some ways, Alfie's views on women are repellant and his self-centred focus is unsettling. However, the story is well told, the narrator is excellent and the insights into the mind of a true sexist sociopath are fascinating.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alfie (the character) is unredeemable. I thought he was going to come around in the end, but not Alfie. I did enjoy this book, even though I had to decypher what some of the English slang meant. I'd read it again.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it. I don't really know if Alfie is appealing, or if it is my image of Jude Law portraying him that's making him seem that way. Either way, I now have to watch the movie. I liked it enough to watch both film versions.

[Paula Schumm · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook from the library. Surprisingly well done. Alfie sleeps around and is pretty clueless about women and life in general. Told entirely in the first person by Alfie himself, this novel takes the reader through Alfie's many adult relationships. Recommended.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Alfie loves women and treats them like crap. Things happen and Alfie just stays Alfie. It moves slow and there is no major plot. By the end you think Something is bound to happen but I was just left unsatisfied.