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The Big Fix: Hope After Heroin
After surviving nearly a decade of heroin abuse and hard living on the streets of San Francisco’s Tenderloin District, Tracey Helton Mitchell decided to get clean for good.
With raw honesty and a poignant perspective on life that only comes from starting at rock bottom, The Big Fix tells her story of transformation from homeless heroin addict to stable mother of three—and the hard work and hard lessons that got her there. Rather than dwelling on the pain of addiction, Tracey focuses on her journey of recovery and rebuilding her life, while exposing the failings of the American rehab system and laying out a path for change. Starting with the first step in her recovery, Tracey re-learns how to interact with men, build new friendships, handle money, and rekindle her relationship with her mother, all while staying sober, sharp, and dedicated to her future.
A decidedly female story of addiction, The Big Fix describes the unique challenges faced by women caught in the grip of substance abuse, such as the toxic connection between drug addition and prostitution. Tracey’s story of hope, hard work, and rehabilitation will inspire anyone who has been affected by substance abuse while offering hope for a better future.
With raw honesty and a poignant perspective on life that only comes from starting at rock bottom, The Big Fix tells her story of transformation from homeless heroin addict to stable mother of three—and the hard work and hard lessons that got her there. Rather than dwelling on the pain of addiction, Tracey focuses on her journey of recovery and rebuilding her life, while exposing the failings of the American rehab system and laying out a path for change. Starting with the first step in her recovery, Tracey re-learns how to interact with men, build new friendships, handle money, and rekindle her relationship with her mother, all while staying sober, sharp, and dedicated to her future.
A decidedly female story of addiction, The Big Fix describes the unique challenges faced by women caught in the grip of substance abuse, such as the toxic connection between drug addition and prostitution. Tracey’s story of hope, hard work, and rehabilitation will inspire anyone who has been affected by substance abuse while offering hope for a better future.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published March 15, 2016
47 people are currently reading
1594 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
March 20, 2016
disturbing but hopeful
we have a young woman in our family who has been struggling with heroin addiction for about five years now. after I heard Tracey interviewed on Fresh Air, I immediately bought this book. Tracey's story gives me hope that our niece will some day be free and healthy.
we have a young woman in our family who has been struggling with heroin addiction for about five years now. after I heard Tracey interviewed on Fresh Air, I immediately bought this book. Tracey's story gives me hope that our niece will some day be free and healthy.
May 3, 2016
An incredible book of addiction and the miracle of recovery: "The Big Fix: Hope After Heroin" written by Tracey Helton Mitchell first publically noted for her appearance in the documentary "Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street" (2000). Today the rates of heroin addiction has reached epidemic levels in the U.S. quickly claiming the lives of too many people. Tracey's powerful story educates and raises awareness with the ability to offer hope and potentially save lives.
Beginning with her own addiction which led to stints of homelessness and jail time, with people pouring bleach water on her from open windows. Forms of communication while addicted included "yelling, crying, leaving" she described herself as a "charismatic hustler" who didn't hesitate to lie and cheat or compromise her dignity for drugs.
In 1998 she entered rehab, the staff were a combination of jailers/therapists. In the 90 day program she learned and worked hard at the recovery "programing" and was able to fully detox. Learning "everything" about her had to change, the process was painful as she confronted the fears and self-loathing that led her to addiction.
In the second part of her book: "Beyond The War On Drugs" Tracey discusses the recovery programs, mostly funded by private insurance or government programs like Medicare. Always looking for ways to cut costs, patients are "churned" through the system, with little accountability or concern for outcome. Typical short-term rehab of 28-30 days is barely enough time for the addicted to recover from PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). The debate over offering medication to addicts in recovery remains controversial. The "one size fits all" approach of the 12 step program has received greater attention from medical professionals and specialists. Tracey explained the reasons the 12 step program didn't always work for her.
In part three: "Heroin Addiction and Recovery: What You Need To Know" The drug is fully explained as are the effects on the human brain and body. The difference between ECP and Black Tar Heroin and its use. The "illegal nature" of the drug isolates users from the bridges of connection to others and recovery. Everyone is worthy of compassion and love, and users need reassurance that there is another better way to go without judgment.
In sobriety, and learning a new way to live, Tracey would form a relationship with the man who eventually became her husband. Returning to school, she completed her education earning a masters degree in Public Administration. As a Certified Addiction Specialist and supervisor, Tracey continues her vital work with other addicts. With her husband and 3 children, she lives in the S.F. Bay area. ~ With thanks to the Seattle Public Library.
Beginning with her own addiction which led to stints of homelessness and jail time, with people pouring bleach water on her from open windows. Forms of communication while addicted included "yelling, crying, leaving" she described herself as a "charismatic hustler" who didn't hesitate to lie and cheat or compromise her dignity for drugs.
In 1998 she entered rehab, the staff were a combination of jailers/therapists. In the 90 day program she learned and worked hard at the recovery "programing" and was able to fully detox. Learning "everything" about her had to change, the process was painful as she confronted the fears and self-loathing that led her to addiction.
In the second part of her book: "Beyond The War On Drugs" Tracey discusses the recovery programs, mostly funded by private insurance or government programs like Medicare. Always looking for ways to cut costs, patients are "churned" through the system, with little accountability or concern for outcome. Typical short-term rehab of 28-30 days is barely enough time for the addicted to recover from PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). The debate over offering medication to addicts in recovery remains controversial. The "one size fits all" approach of the 12 step program has received greater attention from medical professionals and specialists. Tracey explained the reasons the 12 step program didn't always work for her.
In part three: "Heroin Addiction and Recovery: What You Need To Know" The drug is fully explained as are the effects on the human brain and body. The difference between ECP and Black Tar Heroin and its use. The "illegal nature" of the drug isolates users from the bridges of connection to others and recovery. Everyone is worthy of compassion and love, and users need reassurance that there is another better way to go without judgment.
In sobriety, and learning a new way to live, Tracey would form a relationship with the man who eventually became her husband. Returning to school, she completed her education earning a masters degree in Public Administration. As a Certified Addiction Specialist and supervisor, Tracey continues her vital work with other addicts. With her husband and 3 children, she lives in the S.F. Bay area. ~ With thanks to the Seattle Public Library.
May 6, 2016
What turns a smart high school girl into a strung out, homeless junkie? I read this memoir to understand why a person chooses drugs, and found that the author does a fine job of telling her story, a story about negative body image, living with an alcoholic parent, and finding escape in painkillers prescribed after dental surgery. This memoir helped me understand the life and times of an addict and the way one brave woman escaped the certainty of the "penitentiary or the cemetery." Tracey Helton Mitchell tells her story with amazing honesty and integrity. The sections in the back of the book that deal with facts about heroin and navigating recovery are especially needed and helpful. Heroin used to be a long, drawn-out death sentence for every user. The author, 28 years sober and dedicated to helping other addicts, demonstrates that no longer has to be the case. If you want to understand the current opiate holocaust, or if you care about someone who is an addict, you should read this book.
May 28, 2016
Many things recommend this book. First, unlike most addiction memoirists, Tracey Helton Mitchell doesn't spend 90 percent of the book describing the hell her life was on heroin. She makes it clear it was hell and gives us enough to get the general idea but then she spend more than half the book describing her recovery and providing useful information to others who want to get into a lasting recovery. Excellent and recommended for its hopeful message.
July 19, 2016
I wanted to read this book after I saw an interview with the author. I found her to be very courageous. The book was very hard to read at times due to its subject matter. Overall an eye opening and powerful story of determination and self acceptance.
August 19, 2017
The Big Fix by Tracey Helton Mitchell is a stand out read for me this year. With the opium epidemic hitting an all time high(no pun intended) I wanted to read something that gave me more empathy for drug addicts. I'll be the first to admit I don't understand drug users at all. This was definitely a blind spot in my life and I just wanted to understand these people more. By reading Tracey Mitchell's book, I feel that I can better understand why these men and women turn to drugs in their lives.
The most important thing that I took away from reading this book is that most drug addicts are doing it because they either have depression or are in fact suicidal. Drug users are more likely to have been abused and have low self esteem. When the cost of heroine is so low and drug prescription companies get their patients addicted, heroine is now seen as an option. A lot of these users, like Tracey, just thought that they were suppose to be living their young adult in a party first mindset. They thought that they didn't want to have no regrets and to live life to its fullest but doing that with drugs is a mistake.
Even though Tracey talks about some of the awful things she does while on drugs, she does not glorify her behavior. This book is focusing on her recovery and how she got there. She focuses on the things that worked for her and is extremely critical of the things that she finds a detriment to her recovery. She is also very critical of men in a lot of support groups, as a lot of them hit on the women. Tracey talks a lot about the abusive relationships she's had with men and contrasts that with the relationship that she has with her current husband. Finally, the best thing about this book is just how much Tracey's worldview changes once she has children. Her struggle with having children is another obstacle that she had to overcome and reading her story is inspirational.
At the end of this book is very informative information about addiction, treatment, and drugs in general. If you are looking for a more non-fiction read to just read the basics of addiction, maybe just skip to the end of the book for those parts. Great read that I highly recommend for anyone wanting to gain empathy about drug addicts.
5
The most important thing that I took away from reading this book is that most drug addicts are doing it because they either have depression or are in fact suicidal. Drug users are more likely to have been abused and have low self esteem. When the cost of heroine is so low and drug prescription companies get their patients addicted, heroine is now seen as an option. A lot of these users, like Tracey, just thought that they were suppose to be living their young adult in a party first mindset. They thought that they didn't want to have no regrets and to live life to its fullest but doing that with drugs is a mistake.
Even though Tracey talks about some of the awful things she does while on drugs, she does not glorify her behavior. This book is focusing on her recovery and how she got there. She focuses on the things that worked for her and is extremely critical of the things that she finds a detriment to her recovery. She is also very critical of men in a lot of support groups, as a lot of them hit on the women. Tracey talks a lot about the abusive relationships she's had with men and contrasts that with the relationship that she has with her current husband. Finally, the best thing about this book is just how much Tracey's worldview changes once she has children. Her struggle with having children is another obstacle that she had to overcome and reading her story is inspirational.
At the end of this book is very informative information about addiction, treatment, and drugs in general. If you are looking for a more non-fiction read to just read the basics of addiction, maybe just skip to the end of the book for those parts. Great read that I highly recommend for anyone wanting to gain empathy about drug addicts.
5
August 21, 2020
Even though this is only a 3.5 for me, I recommend the book. This was a good read describing how addiction happens and how far one will go to get the next fix without spending most of time in gruesome detail, though she certainly gave enough to set the scene.
One thing I was pleased and surprised to find in this book is her discussion of the gender dynamics on the street, in rehab and in recovery. How much more dangerous it is for women in the first two I mention and how little is given to women--because men are the default and women's needs thereby are invisible--to help them in returning to a normal life, especially if kids are involved. I personally have seen this as well, how much of the whole of addiction & recovery is focused on how men do it, their issues and making it a 'one size fits all' recovery model. One societal painful view is the difficulty of both male and female felons as they attempt to return to the workplace, but the disparity in types of jobs and subsequent pay is WAY out of balance where women are the bottom losers.
She touches upon this throughout her book and when she gets to the 'what can we do to change this poor and ineffective and unkind medical system'--she makes a specific, comprehensive and wonderful plan, for both addicts and anyone who loves them and is trying to help them. Another piece I found refreshing is her view of 12 step programs as not the 'be-all-end-all'--because they're not--and how we need to expand the models of what will work for any type of addict who may be secular or just doesn't believe one can never go back to drinking a beer at a ball game (alcoholism) or have sugar in the house (food addiction), etc..
The only thing missing in this book is the responsibility of soulless white greedy men who calculatedly got people addicted to opiates--medically. When those addicts turn to heroin--which is much cheaper than Oxy--the societal gaze is to blame the addicts.
One of the reasons for the 3.5 is the writing is pretty flat and clichéd and I found that boring. Not really a fair assessment, I admit, as I'm a writer. And, besides, people are not going to be reading this book for the lyrical writing. Smile. Secondly, the book dragged a bit in the middle. Still this is a good read with depth of thought and understanding on this extremely important and human tragedy. Tracy is a courageous and determined person and I'm very glad she made it out.
One thing I was pleased and surprised to find in this book is her discussion of the gender dynamics on the street, in rehab and in recovery. How much more dangerous it is for women in the first two I mention and how little is given to women--because men are the default and women's needs thereby are invisible--to help them in returning to a normal life, especially if kids are involved. I personally have seen this as well, how much of the whole of addiction & recovery is focused on how men do it, their issues and making it a 'one size fits all' recovery model. One societal painful view is the difficulty of both male and female felons as they attempt to return to the workplace, but the disparity in types of jobs and subsequent pay is WAY out of balance where women are the bottom losers.
She touches upon this throughout her book and when she gets to the 'what can we do to change this poor and ineffective and unkind medical system'--she makes a specific, comprehensive and wonderful plan, for both addicts and anyone who loves them and is trying to help them. Another piece I found refreshing is her view of 12 step programs as not the 'be-all-end-all'--because they're not--and how we need to expand the models of what will work for any type of addict who may be secular or just doesn't believe one can never go back to drinking a beer at a ball game (alcoholism) or have sugar in the house (food addiction), etc..
The only thing missing in this book is the responsibility of soulless white greedy men who calculatedly got people addicted to opiates--medically. When those addicts turn to heroin--which is much cheaper than Oxy--the societal gaze is to blame the addicts.
One of the reasons for the 3.5 is the writing is pretty flat and clichéd and I found that boring. Not really a fair assessment, I admit, as I'm a writer. And, besides, people are not going to be reading this book for the lyrical writing. Smile. Secondly, the book dragged a bit in the middle. Still this is a good read with depth of thought and understanding on this extremely important and human tragedy. Tracy is a courageous and determined person and I'm very glad she made it out.
July 2, 2016
My first ever book that I won in a give-away! And it is great.
Wow. I work in the mental health field and am always on the look for good works on substance use and this is it. An "insider" view to the life that can happen and the struggle to get out and stay out. Filled with some good facts, statistics and justifiable critiques of the systems meant to help.
I really appreciated how Ms. Mitchell makes no effort to look for sympathy or really rationalize her use of heroin and other substances. Rather, I feel that she tells her story in a way that demands dignity, which is what I attempt to offer and preserve with the folks I work with. One of the messages that I take away from this work is that life lead by substances really sucks but it is really possible to get through/past/beyond/etc those times and be part of the world. There is no sugar-coating of the difficulties in getting and staying clean and I appreciate the emphasis on having a relapse plan - because you will need one.
A powerful, honest work that I will recommend to others. Having stories of others who have "made it out" is always helpful to pass on to those with whom I work who are in the throes of finding some hope.
Thank you for your work, Tracey.
Wow. I work in the mental health field and am always on the look for good works on substance use and this is it. An "insider" view to the life that can happen and the struggle to get out and stay out. Filled with some good facts, statistics and justifiable critiques of the systems meant to help.
I really appreciated how Ms. Mitchell makes no effort to look for sympathy or really rationalize her use of heroin and other substances. Rather, I feel that she tells her story in a way that demands dignity, which is what I attempt to offer and preserve with the folks I work with. One of the messages that I take away from this work is that life lead by substances really sucks but it is really possible to get through/past/beyond/etc those times and be part of the world. There is no sugar-coating of the difficulties in getting and staying clean and I appreciate the emphasis on having a relapse plan - because you will need one.
A powerful, honest work that I will recommend to others. Having stories of others who have "made it out" is always helpful to pass on to those with whom I work who are in the throes of finding some hope.
Thank you for your work, Tracey.
April 18, 2016
I can't say enough about this wonderful book and the courage of Tracey Helton Mitchell for sharing her amazing journey. I would recommend this book for anyone - addict, parent, partner, sibling, layperson - anyone who whats to learn so much more about the disease and the HOPE for recovery. Tracey lays out numerous steps for all walks of life with many or no resources.
May 31, 2016
I read this whole book over the course of 36 hours, wow, author was so truthful and honest in sharing her story. This book was well written, easy to read, informative and very inspirational. I highly recommend this book!
October 7, 2017
Through some sort of magic, I ended up following Tracey on instagram - having never seen (or heard of) her documentary or her book before that. Her writing is straight-forward, open, full of reality and hope (at the same time), funny, and smart. Definitely a good read.
October 20, 2017
I read this as part of research for a project but it definitely helped me better understand where opiod addiction leads people and why/how it is so hard to break out of it. Mitchell talks about her addiction in a refreshingly candid (if heartbreaking) way. It changed the way I look at heroin addicts, homelessness (when it's a result of heroin addiction) as well as the way I view access to clean needles, etc.
June 14, 2022
Probably an important concept but the author is really self centered, made worse by listening to the audiobook version read by her. Not well written, and every sentence is me or I. But without any distinguishing awful Elizabeth Wurtzel type charm. Just bad. Badly written. Not that interesting of a story. Mostly annoying.
September 25, 2019
Although repetitive in parts, this book is a raw look at addiction through the eyes of someone who has been through the fire and out the other side. An essential read in the canon of addiction, recovery, and the opioid epidemic.
September 11, 2018
This memoir was referenced in Dopesick so I needed to read it. Very raw and real. I will be suggesting this to my female AODA clients.
January 30, 2017
LOVED it.
April 9, 2016
What an excellent read. Helton tells her story in a very straightforward style, which makes the facts of her journey all the more striking. She doesn't need to embellish or falsely glamorize the details to make it interesting. As a smart high-achieving teen, she loves the effect of prescribed opioids. She eventually falls into an 8-year heroin (and other drugs) habit that takes her from college Ohio to living in the alleys of SF's Tenderloin district. In The Big Fix, she shares how she finally got clean, why we need comprehensive harm-reduction programs, why there is no one-size-fits-all form of recovery, how recovery is different for men & women, and other drug- and recovery-related topics. This is a fascinating & insightful read. You'll plow through it.
July 10, 2016
I was surprised to learn quite a lot about drug addiction and the unique roads to recovery. I did not feel incredibly attached to Tracey Helton Mitchell as a protagonist, but more as a clinician who had lived through an atrocity of her own making and shares tremendous insight into the ineffective aspects of our social and criminal systems as structures which are meant to enable addicts to fix themselves, but which sometimes enslave and entrap them more. The rise in prevalence of heroin and overdoses in our society make this read especially important today.
April 27, 2016
As a fan of Tracey's blog and her activity on Reddit I was eager to read this book. Overall I enjoyed it and found it hopeful to those struggling with addiction or sobriety. I enjoyed learning more about her past and even with things she struggles with now while sober.
July 10, 2016
Took me a week or so to finally get into the book. Then I couldn't put it down. I wanted to know how she was doing, how she did it, and it was almost like cheering her on by continuing to read the book.
January 14, 2017
"Addicts cannot get clean if they are dead."
"A user is just a person worthy of love and compassion who needs to be reassured there is still another way to live."
Inspiring autobiography of a woman who has seventeen years sobriety following eight years of heroin addiction. As the opioid epidemic continues to strengthen, stories such as Tracey's give us hope. But more than inspiration she offers concrete steps we can take to help those struggling with addiction. She makes a strong case for needle exchange programs, for judgment free public health clinics, easy access to life saving naloxone, and although twelve steps work for many, she advocates for alternative treatments Including Medically Assisted Treatment like methadone. She illustrates the need for more programs to treat women - especially women who may be victims of violence or abuse, or have turned to selling themselves for drugs.
The beginning of her story is not unusual. Bright girl, Midwest life, low self esteem, slipping into use with the encouragement of boyfriends. The middle is terrifying - homelessness, trading sex for drugs, jail time. Hoping the second half of her story becomes more and more common - recovery, a satisfying job, a loving spouse, three beautiful children. She has to work and focus every day. Her morning affirmation "I woke up this morning. I was in a bed. This is a good start to any morning. I had good to eat. Another goal accomplished I was able to use the bathroom indoors. Yes. . I felt my feelings."
There is hope. "I have seen the most hopeless of users get off heroin. I have also seen them stay off.. . There is more than just hope that a person can quit. There is evidence." There are options. But we need to do more to make treatment accessible. To keep people alive while they are working toward a decision to recover. To reduce the barriers to long term recovery like permanently banning felons from public housing, from student loans, from voting.
"A user is just a person worthy of love and compassion who needs to be reassured there is still another way to live."
Inspiring autobiography of a woman who has seventeen years sobriety following eight years of heroin addiction. As the opioid epidemic continues to strengthen, stories such as Tracey's give us hope. But more than inspiration she offers concrete steps we can take to help those struggling with addiction. She makes a strong case for needle exchange programs, for judgment free public health clinics, easy access to life saving naloxone, and although twelve steps work for many, she advocates for alternative treatments Including Medically Assisted Treatment like methadone. She illustrates the need for more programs to treat women - especially women who may be victims of violence or abuse, or have turned to selling themselves for drugs.
The beginning of her story is not unusual. Bright girl, Midwest life, low self esteem, slipping into use with the encouragement of boyfriends. The middle is terrifying - homelessness, trading sex for drugs, jail time. Hoping the second half of her story becomes more and more common - recovery, a satisfying job, a loving spouse, three beautiful children. She has to work and focus every day. Her morning affirmation "I woke up this morning. I was in a bed. This is a good start to any morning. I had good to eat. Another goal accomplished I was able to use the bathroom indoors. Yes. . I felt my feelings."
There is hope. "I have seen the most hopeless of users get off heroin. I have also seen them stay off.. . There is more than just hope that a person can quit. There is evidence." There are options. But we need to do more to make treatment accessible. To keep people alive while they are working toward a decision to recover. To reduce the barriers to long term recovery like permanently banning felons from public housing, from student loans, from voting.
April 30, 2023
Tracey writes about her story with raw honesty and a touching perspective as she recounts surviving nearly a decade of heroin abuse living on the streets of San Francisco.
Tracey was a model student who excelled but went from college student to “homeless ‘junkie.’” She explores the desperation she felt to avoid withdrawals including her willingness to do anything to make money including prostitution. She kicked heroin 11 times before she was ready to commit to recovery and a life without drugs. In the depths of her addiction, Tracey was featured in a 1999 documentary about ‘addicts’ called ‘Black Tar Heroin.’ Tracey reflects on how when she agreed to the documentary she didn’t expect to still be alive by the time it was released.
Tracey shares her story by focusing on her journey of recovery and rebuilding her life. She also exposes some of the issues with the rehab system in America at that time. Tracey’s journey includes relearning many things and developing her independence as a sober adult. She builds a family while the exciting and rewarding chaos of being a mom of three.
The first part of the book is Tracey’s story. Part two explores how her recovery was possible because of people and organizations that were there to help. She explains how harm reduction strategies and public health clinics helped save her life. Part three focuses on heroin addiction and recovery providing explanations of what heroin is, withdrawal and the struggles and pain families of a heroin user goes through. It then covers how to get help, recovery, gender differences and how someone’s past shouldn’t dictate their future.
Tracey was a model student who excelled but went from college student to “homeless ‘junkie.’” She explores the desperation she felt to avoid withdrawals including her willingness to do anything to make money including prostitution. She kicked heroin 11 times before she was ready to commit to recovery and a life without drugs. In the depths of her addiction, Tracey was featured in a 1999 documentary about ‘addicts’ called ‘Black Tar Heroin.’ Tracey reflects on how when she agreed to the documentary she didn’t expect to still be alive by the time it was released.
Tracey shares her story by focusing on her journey of recovery and rebuilding her life. She also exposes some of the issues with the rehab system in America at that time. Tracey’s journey includes relearning many things and developing her independence as a sober adult. She builds a family while the exciting and rewarding chaos of being a mom of three.
The first part of the book is Tracey’s story. Part two explores how her recovery was possible because of people and organizations that were there to help. She explains how harm reduction strategies and public health clinics helped save her life. Part three focuses on heroin addiction and recovery providing explanations of what heroin is, withdrawal and the struggles and pain families of a heroin user goes through. It then covers how to get help, recovery, gender differences and how someone’s past shouldn’t dictate their future.
June 19, 2023
This book, The Big Fix by Tracery Helton Mitchell, is my 23rd book I’ve read this year (2023).
To say that I loved this book is an understatement. This book was beyond beautifully written and gave a very honest and open life story of someone who struggled with heroin addiction and more. Not only did the author struggle, but she overcame it in so many ways to actually thrive against all odds.
I thought this book would take me a lot of time to read but it only took me about 6 to 7 hours. I flipped through the pages and I was truly hooked to her writing.
I have never had a drug or alcohol addiction but I found myself mesmerized by how she spoke of everything she went through and all she overcame. She has a sense of humor and a writing style that I have never encountered before.
Whether you have a drug addiction or not, I think everyone should read this book so that they can understand those who do. Not everyone’s story is the same but this book opened my eyes in ways I never expected.
I would give this book 10 out of 5 stars if I could, but I’ll settle on 5 out of 5 stars.
To say that I loved this book is an understatement. This book was beyond beautifully written and gave a very honest and open life story of someone who struggled with heroin addiction and more. Not only did the author struggle, but she overcame it in so many ways to actually thrive against all odds.
I thought this book would take me a lot of time to read but it only took me about 6 to 7 hours. I flipped through the pages and I was truly hooked to her writing.
I have never had a drug or alcohol addiction but I found myself mesmerized by how she spoke of everything she went through and all she overcame. She has a sense of humor and a writing style that I have never encountered before.
Whether you have a drug addiction or not, I think everyone should read this book so that they can understand those who do. Not everyone’s story is the same but this book opened my eyes in ways I never expected.
I would give this book 10 out of 5 stars if I could, but I’ll settle on 5 out of 5 stars.
April 25, 2019
Extremely inspirational!!
I’m not an addict but rather the parent of a very strong and extremely lovable young recovering addict, my son. He is my strength and my weakness wrapped in one. I admire my son’s strength and courage to continue on his road to recovery. I’ve read many books on the opioid epidemic, but this was the first I read “from the other side” of the epidemic, the addict’s account. I’m so glad I read it too because it reinforced what I know is possible...but only when they are ready. My son’s point was his OD...his first, and I have no doubt, his last. That’s not always true for everyone but, as Tracey confirms here, there is no “one set solution” that will work for everyone. Every addict is someone’s mother, sister, brother, father and child. They all deserve to recover and live a happy and fulfilling life.
I want to thank you so much, from the depths of my heart, Tracey for sharing your story. It can give hope and strength to anyone, going through anything, including but not limited to addiction. You have a beautiful soul.
I’m not an addict but rather the parent of a very strong and extremely lovable young recovering addict, my son. He is my strength and my weakness wrapped in one. I admire my son’s strength and courage to continue on his road to recovery. I’ve read many books on the opioid epidemic, but this was the first I read “from the other side” of the epidemic, the addict’s account. I’m so glad I read it too because it reinforced what I know is possible...but only when they are ready. My son’s point was his OD...his first, and I have no doubt, his last. That’s not always true for everyone but, as Tracey confirms here, there is no “one set solution” that will work for everyone. Every addict is someone’s mother, sister, brother, father and child. They all deserve to recover and live a happy and fulfilling life.
I want to thank you so much, from the depths of my heart, Tracey for sharing your story. It can give hope and strength to anyone, going through anything, including but not limited to addiction. You have a beautiful soul.
April 20, 2025
Full disclosure, I stopped reading this when the author entered the "I'm having a baby and it saved my life and it is the most magical thing ever, better than heroin" era because I can't have kids and I don't feel like putting myself through that. So maybe rating it is unfair since I didn't finish it.
I'm not quite sure what the author was doing this entire book. I feel like it could have benefited from a more heavy handed editor. Each chapter felt like a fever dream. The author didn't really talk about active addiction, didn't really talk about withdrawal, didn't really talk about rehab. Honestly, looking back I'm not quite sure what she did talk about.
What I wanted out of this book I didn't get, but that isn't necessarily a universal experience. I am glad I read this book primarily because I got to experience Tracey's story in the way she wanted it to be told, and not via a documentary that she "consented" to while in active addiction. I hope my witnessing gives her some of her power back, even if just a sliver.
I'm not quite sure what the author was doing this entire book. I feel like it could have benefited from a more heavy handed editor. Each chapter felt like a fever dream. The author didn't really talk about active addiction, didn't really talk about withdrawal, didn't really talk about rehab. Honestly, looking back I'm not quite sure what she did talk about.
What I wanted out of this book I didn't get, but that isn't necessarily a universal experience. I am glad I read this book primarily because I got to experience Tracey's story in the way she wanted it to be told, and not via a documentary that she "consented" to while in active addiction. I hope my witnessing gives her some of her power back, even if just a sliver.
February 5, 2019
I would put this on people’s mandatory reading lists if I could! This is so relevant to these times and worthy of attention. Helton tells of her own story with humility, integrity, and without getting bogged down in emotion. It is clear that she is sharing this for your benefit, so that you may understand something of what life with addiction is, what recovery can look like, and what obstacles beyond “willpower” keep people from staying clean and living meaningful lives, and ultimately what we can do to curb the opioid epidemic.
One thing that struck me on a personal note: Even as an addict in recovery who was working to forgive herself, and as she worked as a counselor and encouraged other addicts to forgive themselves, she had difficulty forgiving her father for his own addiction. Certainly a thorny issue, and she decides to forgive him for her own sake.
One thing that struck me on a personal note: Even as an addict in recovery who was working to forgive herself, and as she worked as a counselor and encouraged other addicts to forgive themselves, she had difficulty forgiving her father for his own addiction. Certainly a thorny issue, and she decides to forgive him for her own sake.
October 19, 2023
We all know someone who is struggling with anxiety, depression, and who is self-medicating, and depending on life circumstances and coping mechanisms, possibly using drugs and becoming addicted. The human brain gets hijacked so easily - be it any of the traditional vices (sex, smoking, gambling, alcohol, caffeine, to name a few), all the new ones (better living thru Big Pharma, video games, social media, fitness, sex, day trading), or me doing me (I must eat this cake because it's delicious, wants to be in my belly, and it's my birthday even though my doctor said I'm Type 2). I like this book a lot because she breaks down street drugs, an addict's mentality and recovery concepts, so you don't need any biochemistry or psychology to understand the bottom line. The content is grounded in lived experience with enough empathy to consider others' experiences and alternatives.
January 12, 2018
The Big Fix should be essential reading for everyone. Broken into three parts, Tracey outlines her personal experience as an intravenous drug user, the systems that can support or hinder users, and steps for recovery. This memoir is written with a level of honesty that made me feel as though I knew the author. Harm reduction and public health lenses are aptly used to analyze her personal addiction, stigma, and systems of care in a way that generates compassion and non-judgement. With the current state of affairs and the opioid crisis resulting in more people knowing someone with addiction, it is an ideal time for more compassion for those who could so easily be cast aside as junkies unworthy of humanity.
March 25, 2020
This book has to be one of the best resources for moving forward in addressing the opiate fallout in the US. This is not a “here’s all the shit I did when I was on drugs” memoir. It’s almost entirely recovery focused.
While it is among many inspiring recovery memoirs, author adds informed perspective on the following—
-role of gender in addiction: from developing the addiction all the way through navigating the recovery process. I’ve never read a discussion like this.
-merits vs shortcomings of AA/total abstinence
-why MAT can work AND why it isn’t always practical
-harm reduction and peer counseling
Totally recommend regardless of your relationship to/prior knowledge of addiction/recovery.
While it is among many inspiring recovery memoirs, author adds informed perspective on the following—
-role of gender in addiction: from developing the addiction all the way through navigating the recovery process. I’ve never read a discussion like this.
-merits vs shortcomings of AA/total abstinence
-why MAT can work AND why it isn’t always practical
-harm reduction and peer counseling
Totally recommend regardless of your relationship to/prior knowledge of addiction/recovery.
May 10, 2024
CW: pregnancy loss
I admit that I’m a sucker for stories of addiction. For whatever reason these stories speak to me and my mental illness more than stories of mental illness. The first half is better than the second half in my opinion, but I still enjoyed this. It was good but not great but I’d recommend it anyway because it’s an important subject and there aren’t enough memoirs on it. I don’t want to classify stories like this as inspirational because I don’t want to take away from the people who didn’t make it because it’s not their fault and there is a lot of luck involved. And they’ve already had enough bad luck getting addicted in the first place. I also recommend the book Drug Dealer, M.D. to pair with this. 3.6 stars
I admit that I’m a sucker for stories of addiction. For whatever reason these stories speak to me and my mental illness more than stories of mental illness. The first half is better than the second half in my opinion, but I still enjoyed this. It was good but not great but I’d recommend it anyway because it’s an important subject and there aren’t enough memoirs on it. I don’t want to classify stories like this as inspirational because I don’t want to take away from the people who didn’t make it because it’s not their fault and there is a lot of luck involved. And they’ve already had enough bad luck getting addicted in the first place. I also recommend the book Drug Dealer, M.D. to pair with this. 3.6 stars
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