Charmanter Mann aus Erstbesitz

by Hilma Wolitzer

Edward Schuyler, 62 und Biologielehrer in New York, vergräbt sich nach dem plötzlichen Tod seiner Frau Bee in Arbeit. Bald schon wird die Damenwelt auf den kultivierten verwitweten Gentleman aufmerksam: Frühere Freundinnen rufen an, die Kinder geben eine Kontaktanzeige in der New York Times auf. Ed hat daraufhin einige jedem Woody-Allen-Film würdige, skurrile Begegnungen, etwa mit Datingprofi Karen oder der trauernden Roberta. Doch bald muss er feststellen, dass er aus der Übung ist – und wirft die restlichen Zuschriften weg. Nur eine gewisse Ann gibt nicht auf … Eine bezaubernde Liebesgeschichte über die Kunst, das Leben zu genießen, über die Vergangenheit, die einen einholt, und über den Mut zur zweiten Liebe.

Genres: Fiction, Romance, Contemporary, Book Club, Relationships, Family, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 24, 2012

About the author

Hilma Wolitzer (b. 1930) is a critically hailed author of literary fiction. She is a recipient of Guggenheim and National Endowment for the Arts fellowships, an American Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature, and a Barnes & Noble Writers for Writers Award. Her first short story appeared in print when she was thirty-six. Eight years later she published her first novel. Her novels and stories have drawn praise for illuminating the dark interiors of the American home. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Julie G · Rating 4 out of 5]

When this novel was published in 2012, they should have advised booksellers, everywhere, to shelve it in Fantasy, rather than Fiction.

Fantasy, because it goes beyond fiction: Edward Schuyler, the 40-something, handsome, kind, educated and steadily employed bachelor, falls for Bea, the 40-something, sassy, divorced mother of two, with an elderly mother in tow.

Edward Schuyler is a unicorn, and I know I'm not the only person who thought this. It can't be an accident that Chapter 36 is titled, “The Unicorn in Captivity,” which is clearly a double entendre, given what happens in the chapter. I suspect the author and I were on the same page.

The world isn't full of “Edward Schuylers,” and I've never personally known one. I've known some divorced men with kids who have married divorced women with kids, and I have known several women who have married divorced fathers with kids (and were then asked not to contribute any more babies), but I've never met a childless, established bachelor who has married a woman with kids and then raised them as his own. (If we throw in the devotion to the elderly mother into the mix—this makes Edward an alicorn, a flying unicorn).

So, I guess I'm saying. . . somehow I needed to take a leap of faith here, as a reader, and suspend all disbelief, that a story with this arc could be plausible. But, there was once an Ashton Kutcher, and there was once an Edward Scissorhands, so anything's possible (and, as an aside, I could really use him right now, as we're in a rental without scissors, and I need a pair).

Beyond this, the glaring implausibility of this story, let's get to what is great: EVERYTHING ELSE.

Damn, Ms. Wolitzer can write. Wowza, wow, wow.

This is my third novel of Ms. Wolitzer's, and as I read it, I wished I had a salt shaker nearby to make the paper more palatable as I bit down on every page (can't find a salt shaker here, either).

Overall, this novel itself is a unicorn: highly literate and romantic. I could count the books that fall into this rare category on my two hands.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook…read by Fred Sullivan
…..7 hours and 46 minutes

Edward Schuyler — a 62 year old science teacher — is widowed. A handsome, healthy, intelligent, single man is a rare find.
Edwards receives phone calls from widows seeking love.
Well-meaning friends try to set hook-ups for Edward.
He is still mourning his wife Beatrice, (Bee), who died of pancreatic cancer.
Edward prefers solitude, reading, gardening, birdwatching…and his own independent routines.
However, *SURPRISE*…. His step children put an ad in the New York Review of Books on his behalf.
….Edward enters the dating world.

🎶 Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find.
Catch me a catch. 🎶…..

“An Available Man” is a heartfelt blend of humor and pathos…..
….irresistibly ‘sloshy-draggy’ and ‘charmingly-touching’ > in equal measure…..
Examine
….the rules, the guidelines, the principles….and the arbitrary judgments!

Not a book to draw strength from woman…
nor men…..
but not to worry — many other books fulfill that requirement! 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

About 3.5 stars….

[Betsy Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was introduced to Hilma Wolitzer's work through her new anthology of short stories Today a Woman Went Mad in the Supermarket and chose to read An Available Man because it was her next most recent book (2012). I really enjoyed it, but it makes me even more eager to see her next book, now that Wolitzer is in her nineties and still writing strong.

An Available Man is about a happily married man who is widowed, with step-children who remain "his children," and how he negotiates "dating after death." It's about people who live normal domestic lives and grapple with love, loss, and loneliness (alliteration in honor of Wolitzer's fun-making of same in personals ads—the humor in this book is gentle and kind).

In any other hands, a story like this might bore me after a while because it is from the normal-domestic-lives side of the street that I have never inhabited. But I'm suspecting that anything Hilma Wolitzer writes will excite me. As with her short stories, here she writes real people. There is no nicey-nice, no airbrushing, no Hallmark anything. So for me, inhabiting the life of protagonist Edward Schuyler and his family was like re-education into what normalcy can be—no horrendous violence; there is a little insanity from a former girlfriend, but honestly, by the time she came along, I was so wallowing in normal love that she is the only character I wanted to get away from.

I cannot wait for Hilma Wolitzer's next book. I have no doubt it will be an honest, vibrant look at life and love in your nineties and my mouth waters at the prospects of the secrets I'll learn.

[Gregory · Rating 1 out of 5]

To quickly summarize the main premise of the book: a man is widowed later in his life and the story follows his life as he looks to recover from the grief and move into a happier state. There was a lot of potential, from how the story was set up, for an interesting perspective on the man's life and the internal struggles present in his mind as he looked to move beyond the death of his wife.

With that said, I felt the book fell far short of any and all expectations. The characters lacked description, as if the author was hoping all people would seemingly place themselves into the main character's position. In the end, all I could picture was a shadow creature moving throughout the story, hoping to find something that allowed him to define himself. The author provided most of the other characters with something more, but not much. Their perceived inner thoughts and eventual actions in the book were simplistic and one dimensional. Each character seemed to have a role in the book and were not allowed to stretch beyond their intended role.

The story itself turned out to be lacking in any substance. Sex was the sole and primary focus of the book, seemingly more so than the man's recovery from the death of his wife. The author also had no trouble inserting gratuitous scenes, all of which seemed entirely out of place. It was here that the main character seemed to take on personalities that didn't mesh with what was presented in the rest of the book. Not a man trying something new, but an awkward personality that was generated to seemingly shock the reader or potentially arouse them? I don't know. Either way, it was done very distastefully and executed without care.

Overall, I'm sad to give this book even one star. It deserves less. I came in expecting something elegant, insightful, and thought provoking but instead received a trashy romance novel that lacked any sort of cohesion.

Note: I received this book via the First Reads program here at Goodreads.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This charming and deeply emotional book features Edward Schuyler, a recently widowed science teacher who embarks on the dubious task of what one possible suitor calls "dating after death." It is also a book about grief, betrayal, family, and tapestries. I think tapestries are actually a very good metaphor for this novel because it is the people who thread through our lives, sometimes ending and sometimes being woven back in later, and sometimes new threads need to be added to make a complete picture. This was very touching and I quite enjoyed it.

[Shelley Ettinger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this as a free giveaway via Goodreads so yippee for that, and the deal apparently includes a tacit obligation to review so here's a quickie because this is the sort of book I wouldn't ordinarily write anything about beyond assigning the requisite stars. I've read other books by Hilma Wolitzer and An Available Man is true to form. Nothing to write home about, certainly nothing I'll remember anything about after a few weeks, but a well-written fast light read. In literary terms this book, like others of hers I've read, has more heft than, say, Jennifer Weiner's work but less than, say, Anne Tyler's or Catherine Schine's, all of whose work focuses on similar territory. But hey, a well-written fast light read was just what I was in the mood for over the few hours it took me to get through this, so I have no complaints.

Except various minor ones, mostly about what seemed to me to be some stuff Wolitzer gets oddly wrong. For the main example, the living standard of schoolteachers and therapists at community mental health clinics. Schoolteachers, including those who work at ritzy private schools and have no union contract, make crappy salaries. Believe me, I know this from close family experience. Therapists at community mental health clinics, as opposed to private-practice psychoanalysists, are not exactly raking it in either. So how is it that Edward and Bee and their children used to spend a month every summer on Martha's Vineyard? Or were planning a grand tour of Asia at retirement? There are other oddities and discontinuities -- if Edward was in his mid-20s in 1974, how could he have been a teenager in the 1950s version of a sex ed class?--that in a deeper more accomplished book might not have annoyed me as much but that in this book were fairly distracting. OK though. That's it, a pleasant day's reading.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a widower myself at age 40, I wasn't sure I was going to like this book about the life of a man, Edward Schuyler, in later middle age, who loses his wife and is faced with going on to live the rest of his life without her. I mean, how could a woman author understand this life situation from a man's viewpoint any more than a male author could relate to a woman's similar ordeal?
What I found was a very touching and humorous story of Edward's trials and tribulation's in facing his loneliness and grief following his wife Bea's death. Bea was his life companion and the thought of another woman to replace her is not easy. His friends and step children urge him to make a try and he reluctantly enters the "Yenta" circuit via his friends and personals ads which his step-daughters place on his behalf. After a series of misfires and comical dates, he has all but given up until an old lover, Laurel, comes back into his life. She had run out on him after being engaged years ago, before he eventually met his wife Bea. Laurel is somewhat mentally unstable but a very attractive lover who seems to now be giving Edward what he needs. He overlooks other possibilities that are out there but not recognized under her comfort. Eventually he recognizes that Laurel is still, well, Laurel, and opens himself to find happiness with someone else who nurtures his soul like Bea had done.
As I said, this could have been a sappy, comic fest in the hands of a lesser writer but I found Wolitzer’s writing authentic in the sensitive, caring way it conveyed the heartache, confusion and humorous events that someone in Edward's position goes through.

[Diane Meier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a lovely book. My fear is that younger people may not feel drawn to a book about an older man in widow-weeds and the loves he's lost and found. And what a sad mistake that would be.

I didn't have much in common with Mrs. Dalloway when I found her. Nor with Virginia either, I might say; but I would have missed one of my favorite stories. It made me look at so many things - from choosing flowers and planning a party to missing my own past - differently. And the same goes for Joe Chapin and Piet Hanema. Not my age, not my gender, not even my time. But their trials and troubles are indelibly inked in my memory, as though they were real. As only a great writer might have done. And their lessons colored my choices, as sure as someone living.

And so, we find Edward Schuyler, adrift as we might imagine ourselves to be someday, sooner or later, without the mirror we've depended upon to see our own reflection in the world. Will he transcend grief? Is life, without the one you love, worth living? Or has loving and being loved so much and so deeply, given you the strength and the courage to stay open to life itself? These aren't lessons of age or gender. But they are among the lessons of novelists, and the greater the writer, the truer the emotional freight. The more powerful the landing. The more indelible the message.

So - if you love this book, consider giving it to someone you think might be unlikely to read it. Someone who is not sixty-two and afraid of being alone. Someone who might decide, in their twenty-ninth year, not to be afraid of losing love, and in doing so, might find in love more depth or comfort or peace than they would have - without Hilma Woltzer's beautiful example.

[Ita]

I gave this book the 73 page test and it didn't pass. I was bored. I read the last ten pages and decided to read books that interested me more.

The problems:
1. Pacing. It moved slowly. It trickled.

2. The main character was boring. I realize he was depressed, but I got depressed reading about him.

I think I was expecting more since I'd read good reviews of it. Also, it might just be that I'm not in the mood for a slow, "sweet" book right now.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

About a year after Edward’s wife Bee dies, her children take it upon themselves to post a personal ad for him in the New York Review of Books. While the resulting responses and encounters are a driving force of the first half of the book, the story is really more of a character study of Edward and the evolution of his grief. He reluctantly tries to move on, though he acknowledges his continuing devotion to his late wife and his appreciation for the life they had together. There is a pervading sadness when you start to think about the impact of losing your life partner and the regularity of their presence, but that somberness is overshadowed by Edward’s optimistic disposition.

I really liked Edward as a person. He was perfectly human - fragile and solid at the same time, a good father, an enthusiastic middle school science teacher, and an absolute gentleman. There were other supporting characters that contributed to my enjoyment, like Bee’s stoic 91 year-old mother Gladys and Edward’s comforting dog-walker/housekeeper Mildred. Even Bee’s voice as Edward imagines it is practical and assuring. What I was most happy with was seeing Edward come full circle in realizing who and what he wants in this new phase in his life. The conclusion was completely gratifying and I had the urge to give Edward a pat on the back and congratulate him.

I received a complimentary copy of this book via the Goodreads First Reads program.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilma Wolitzer has become a favorite of mine since reading The Doctor's Daughter (and, later, Summer Reading). I really enjoyed this new novel, which I read as part of Library Thing's early reviewers program. What could have been throw-away chick-lit (or ma'am-lit, given her target audience) was instead a meaningful exploration of continuing on after the death of a spouse. The novel was interspersed with moments of needed humor as Edward navigated the dating world, but also deep tenderness. Some of the scenes between Edward and his mother-in-law moved me to tears.

I was a little annoyed with some of the decisions Wolitzer had Edward make and felt some of them were a little rushed. I also had a hard time keeping up with how much time was supposed to have passed during the story. At one point, it was supposed to have been two years later and I didn't feel that passage of time at all -- a little confusing. But those were minor quibbles. I don't often find myself thinking this (especially after just finishing Stephen King's 11/22/63, which I felt should have been 250 pages shorter), but I think this novel could have been even longer to flesh out those passages. Overall I found this another very strong novel from Wolitzer and would highly recommend it.

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Edward loved his wife and had a hard time when she died, he even started ironing the clothes he still hadn't gotten rid of, all in order to feel closer to her. We learn Edward's back story, how he met his wife and his two stepchildren. Than woman start honing in, as if he wears a sign that says "This man is free". Partly amusing, partly sad, I probably would have given this 4 stars if he hadn't attempted to reunite with a woman who had broken his heart years ago. I suppose that's author's prerogative
but for me it changed the way I had felt about Edward.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a delightful book for light summer reading. Here's the beauty of this book: we are used to books exploring the theme of a middle-aged single woman making her way in the strange new world of singlehood. However, in this story, we see the world from the viewpoint of the middle-aged bachelor, adrift and lonely in his world recently vacated by his beloved wife, who died of cancer.

There's clever and witty dialogue and interesting situations here. Of course the difference between the widow and the widower is that the widower is highly sought after whereas the widow is almost a pariah. I loved the contrast. In one situation, he dates a woman he met online who looks both younger and older at the same time than her stated age of 55 (or thereabouts). Clearly she has had "work done" and our hero has no problem with that, but something makes him uncomfortable during the date. When she seduces him after dinner he is swept up in the passion of the moment. . . for a moment. When she declares that she is actually 70+, I felt so sorry for her. It's of course acceptable for a man of 70 to be interested in sex, but it causes us all to have mixed thoughts when we think of a single 70 year old woman trying to date online and have sex with a younger man. It's a problem we may all be facing someday as the baby boomer generation turns into senior citizens. Can we ever really view ourselves as "old", and I don't mean old like George Clooney, but old like our grandparents. ???

The characters in this book are likable and interesting, and it makes a big difference in the enjoyment of the book itself. The reader can empathize and sympathize with these characters because they are good human beings, and yet flawed enough to make them real people who pop off the pages and stay in your mind for awhile.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Available Man by Hilma Wolitzer is the tender, funny, and at turns, heartbreaking story of what happens to a rather shy widower in his early 60's when his step-daughters and the local widows scheme to try and find him companionship and, perhaps, even love. Edward Schuyler is a science teacher at a private school on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. He is somewhat proper and retiring in both his professional and private life. The death of his beloved wife, Bee, after a long illness seems both a blessing and a sorrow, releasing her from her suffering but setting him adrift. He seems surrounded by her presence and goes on with his life, quietly mourning his loss and making do as a single man. That is until Bee's prediction that "they will be coming out of the wookwork" begins to come true. First, he starts getting phone calls from lonely women who call him Ed and presume a great friendship out of mere acquaintance. There are Tuna Surprise casseroles from almost complete strangers. And as if this were not enough, his step-daughter and daughter-in-law place a personals ad for him in the New York Times Review of Books. What follows is a series of funny, awkward and even some quite horrible dates with a variety of women. An Available Man is a story of love and loss, of the things that make a life. Edward Schuyler is a truly memorable character. I enjoyed it tremendously.

[Wanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

The protagonist of this book, Edward Schuyler, is a naive sixty-two year old high-school science teacher who has lost his wife to cancer. The story concerns Edward's journey through death, grief, acceptance and a struggle to return to socializing and dating. It is a sweet story. Not one that I recommend people put at the top of their "to read" pile, but a sweet story nevertheless.
Do not be fooled. This is not about love in middle age. Sixty two is not middle age. Forty is. And this is where I have problems with this story. I understand that the elderly can and do have a vigorous sex life, but come on. There is way too much of it in this book. It is highly doubtful that two 60+ year olds would have sex on a daily (and sometimes more than daily) basis. Perhaps some might, but the statistics on sex in the elderly do not bear out that most of them are jumping into the sack with each other like that. I'm no prude, but that aspect should have been more realistic. Also, the suggestion that a 60+ year old woman is beautiful naked. Uh. I think not.
Aside from this, it is a sweet, though at times contrived and unbelievable piece of fluff.

[Steve Lindahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am 64 years old and happily married, just like Edward Schuyler was before Pancreatic Cancer took his wife, Bee. Although I don't share the grief the widower experiences, I can imagine the horror of facing life alone after years of sharing it with the person you love. But the fact that Edward's situation scares me, didn't stop me from enjoying An Available Man by Hilma Wolitzer. It didn't hurt that an important scene took place at the Cloisters, one of my favorite places in New York.

This book is about grief, but with a focus on Edward's recovery from the tragedy. Bee is gone before the novel starts. Here are the first two paragraphs:

Edward Schuyler was ironing his oldest blue oxford shirt in the living room on a Saturday afternoon when the first telephone call came. He'd taken up ironing a few months before, not long after his wife, Bee, had died. That happened in early summer, when school was out, and he couldn't concentrate on anything besides his grief and longing. He had thought of it then as a way of reconnecting with her when she was so irrevocably gone, when he couldn't even will her into his dreams.

And she did come back in a rush of disordered memories as he stood at the ironing board. But he had no control over what he remembered, sometimes seeing her when they first met, or years later in her flowered chintz chair across the room, talking on the telephone and kneading the dog's belly with her bare feet – Bee called it multitasking – or in the last days of her life, pausing so long between breaths that he found himself holding his own breath until she began again.

Edward's step children place a personal ad for him, in the New York Review of Books. The ad changes his life as he starts to meet eligible women.

This novel has been called humorous by some reviewers, and there were parts that made me laugh out loud, but for most of the book I simply smiled. It's about relationships and the way people of both genders think with their hearts and their genitals as well as their minds. It's about step children and friends of a deceased partner. But mostly its about moving forward after life deals you a horrible blow.

Steve Lindahl – author of Motherless Soul and White Horse Regressions

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this advanced reader’s copy in a Goodreads giveaway.

Knowing a couple of widowers I recognized some of the situations Edward was put it. Women he didn’t even know would call my grandfather to ask him how he was doing and if he was lonely. Set ups were common.

There were things I liked about Edward. He does not drop out of the lives of his stepchildren and even maintains a relationship with his wife’s’ elderly mother (I actually heard a story about a man who told his sister in law that they were not related any more once his wife died, and while technically it might be true, it sure was cruel.) He knows he needs to take the time to grieve and does not rush into some relationship just because he is a little lonely. Edward is resistant to set ups too soon and reluctant when his step children put out a singles ad but handles these situation with enough grace. He resists the advances of a married family friend. Those things are likeable.

But my biggest problem with the book was Edward getting together again with a former girlfriend who left Edward at the altar years ago. What was he thinking? She sends two responses to a singles ad, she uses another name, and she contacts his daughter to find him and follows him on vacation. What does not say this woman has a problem? When Edward let’s her spend the night in the guest room I knew it would end in sex. The fact that Edward basically just used her to have somewhere to go and someone to have sex with made him a not only blind to what kind of a person she was but cruel to her as well.

So while I found the book well written I grew less and less sympathetic to the main character. I can see this book being a good book for discussion in a book club but I won’t be recommending it to mine.

[Charity · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure what I think of this book. I found the premise interesting and the cover art baffling, but mostly I found that what was purported to be a gradual lifting of bereavement as a widower moved on with his life seemed startlingly quick as more than two years (or was it three years...or four?) was crammed into fewer than 300 pages. The passage of time was jumpy; the seasons passed jerkily and suddenly and the present would often be interrupted by a series of scenes from the recent past. I had trouble figuring out where I was in the course of the action of the book.

The character development was a bit lacking, which made the actions of the characters not really make sense to me. Even Edward, from whose point of view we see the story, seems fairly unknowable to me. It's one thing for him to surprise himself, but I think the author ought to know what his motivations are and ought to clue in her audience.

Despite these complaints, I enjoyed reading the book overall, and some parts I enjoyed quite a bit. I liked the characters of Gladys and Mildred, both of whom seemed more complex than many of the others. I liked Olga, too, until the second half of the book when she, too, seemed to change too quickly for my taste. I liked her more aloof.

I really enjoyed the description of the restoration work on the tapestries, and, unlike his professed interest in birding, I really believed that Edward was interested in this work, too. I wish there'd been more of this, but then, I think I would have enjoyed the book more had it gone deeper than it did in most respects.

[Adriana · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very sweet story, which I really needed to cleanse my literary palate after the last book I read. However, I did have some issues with it.

The first half of the book was not really a cohesive story. It was more like a series of vignettes about a grieving man: the scene where his well-meaing friends try to set him up, the scene where his well-meaing kids place a personal ad; the scene where his friends decide enough is enough - time to clear out reminders of his late wife (I was actually pretty aghast as I read this part), etc. I don't particularly care fore vignette style storytelling, because it keeps the reader at a distance, although it was an effective tool to show us how he was basically keeping everyone at a distance. Still, I like to be more involved with the characters I read about.

Fortunately, the second half of the book came together much better as a novel, despite the contrived feel Edward finally allowing himself to enter a sort-of relationship. The whole section where he reconnected with Lauren felt forced. A man that in love with his late wife would never dishonor her memory by hooking up with a woman who had caused him so much pain. Not to mention the fact that she was so obviously crazy you could smell the batsh*t from a mile away.

Basically, it wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either.

[Libby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed An Available Man but I agree with other reviewers who said it could have been a bit shorter. For me it got flabby in the late middle of the book for several chapters dealing with one of the main character's new romantic relationships. I can pay this book my highest compliments about fiction: it felt very real, and I cared about the main characters. If it had been more interesting or had a more emotional climax, or packed a more emotional punch, I would have liked it even more.

I enjoyed it... but not over the moon. The author is particularly adept at writing dialogue. A future screenplay? maybe...and I'd see that movie!

An afterthought: Not Hilma Wolitzer's fault, but I want to add that I wish publicists would stop overselling books as "funny." (The same thing happens in the film industry.) This book is not funny. In a few places, I smiled gently in recognition...but it's not funny. And that's fine! Why set up prospective readers for disappointment, who are looking for a good laugh? It ain't here. And that's fine. This book is good, nice, realistic, interesting. But it's not funny.

[Cheri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't finish this book. Skimmed to the end, which I never do, and it was as boring as the first part that I did read. I didn't like the main character, didn't like his dead wife and didn't like his step-children.

[Kammie]

The cover of this book really appeals to me. I am looking forward to reading it.

[Letterrausch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eigentlich habe ich dieses Buch nur gelesen, weil Hilma Wolitzer die Mutter von Meg Wolitzer ist, die ich sehr gern lese. Und "Charmanter Mann aus Erstbesitz" ist auch beileibe kein schlechter Roman, aber leider überhaupt nicht meine Kragenweite.

Letztlich handelt es sich um eine Romance, man kann es drehen und wenden, wie man will. Sicher, der Roman macht viel mehr als Charakter A an Charakter B zu bringen, aber die Liebeshandlung ist der Motor, der die Handlung am Laufen hält und ich habe diesem Motor einfach nicht vertraut. Unserem Protagonisten (um die 60) ist die Frau gestorben. Seine (Stief)Kinder haben nichts Besseres zu tun, als für ihn eine Partnerschaftsanzeige aufzugeben. Und das bringt die Sache ins Rollen. Er trifft sich mit Frauen, er geht mit ihnen ins Bett, es wird dann doch nicht. Rinse&Repeat bis die richtige daherkommt.

Mein Problem: Wenn ich schon den Aufhänger nicht glauben kann, wird's mit dem Rest schwierig. Und mit der amerikanischen Variante des Datings, bei dem man gleichzeitig mit mehreren Menschen ausgeht, fand ich schon immer schräg (nennt mich altmodisch). Hat mich also nicht umgehauen. Wer aber einen wirklich gut geschriebenen Liebesroman lesen möchte, der mal was anderes mit dem Genre macht, der sollte sich hieran versuchen!

[Mireille Duval · Rating 4 out of 5]

This made me think a lot about my mom, a widow in her late fifties, and my step-father, also a widower, and how they both found each other (in my mother's case, after a couple of years and of other partners, much like the main character). The feelings of not actually being available, the not wanting the new partner to be in the house you shared with your deceased spouse (because she's not "the right one"), your kid feeling like she wants you to be happy but not THAT happy because it'll mean the spouse is somehow forgotten.

This was a quick read, well-written, touching, about a subject that I feel is not that explored.

[thewanderingjew · Rating 3 out of 5]

After a failed love affair, leaving him waiting at the altar, it takes about 2 decades for Edward Schuyler to find the love of his life, Bea Silver. She comes with a ready made family for him to love and enjoy. Sadly, about two decades later, Bea succumbs to Cancer. Her children, from her first marriage, secretly place a personal ad for him, in the local paper, not wanting him to face a life of loneliness. They do not want to see him overwhelmed with sorrow and are hoping to send him down the road to recovery.

Edward, however, has grown content to be on his own, dealing with his isolation, ironing Bea’s blouses to maintain his closeness to her, keeping her clothing in the closet to retain her scent, until finally her friends come in, en masse, to clean everything out for him. He resists reentry into the world of dating and the company of others. His first attempts to mingle are fairly disastrous, but eventually he becomes more comfortable with himself and the women who seek him out.

The book examines the human emotions of loss and renewal, as well as the solitude of single life for women and men, of varied ages. As Edward grapples with his widowed status, he is portrayed as shy and retiring, more laid back than outgoing, and the women are portrayed with one foot in the marriage bed and one foot at the altar. Even married friends think he is fair game. Approached by single and married women, he is truly the available man, and the women are hungry for him. Although his early efforts at dating are a dismal failure, as he recovers from his bereavement, he too, begins to hunger for women and sex.

I thought that the plot seemed a little contrived, although it did honestly depict the fact that women seem to have to more aggressively search for a man, while the man simply has to sit back and wait for opportunities to find him. Yet, it made the women a tad too aggressive and needy to feel totally real, even providing a 71 year old woman who attempts to seduce him, albeit in the dark. He is a 62 year old “available man, and although, as a teacher, he has a modest financial nest egg, he is not what one would call a great catch, unless all that counts is that everything is in working order. So, in that way, I thought the book overdid his availability. He was simply a man and I would think women would want more than a body, which is not how they were portrayed it in this book. The women seemed shallow, simply searching for a pair of pants, rather than an engaging partner, and I thought the treatment of them was a little disrespectful.

The book was well executed, though; it was very easy to read and/or listen to, as I did, but I felt it was a little wanting in depth. In the face of such loss, the family dynamic did not always feel genuine. Would the children really place a personal ad for their stepfather? Would the man really be so disinterested for so long and seem so naïve about all the women trying to attract him? Are most women so desperate and forward? Yes, I know that women sometimes seem hungrier than men do, when they are adrift and alone, but too many of the women in this book seemed to be caricatures of lonely women with nothing on their mind but the communal bed and with no real interest in a relationship of the mind, at all. The women were just depicted as too shallow for my liking.

Overall though, it was a poignant tale dealing with emotional immaturity, emotional illness, loneliness and loss and how we attempt to deal with our grief and solitude, ultimately healing, so we lead a more productive and happy life.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

In most couples, women outlive the men. Check out any senior citizens gathering and you'll see that to be a man of a certain age gives you great opportunities, in some cases more than you had at the peak of youth and virility. (In fact, we just happened to watch an episode of Stephen Fry in America (made in 2006) and part of one episode he spoke to a couple of single men in the seniors dancing scene. Pretty funny.)An Available Man picks up life with Edward Schuyler shortly after they death of his wife, and is climb back into the world as an unattached male of a certain age.

There are some genuinely tender, loving, and realistic moments in the store. Edward's kind of a reclusive guy: a science teacher at a private school and a bird watcher who keeps a journal on the birding he does. Well meaning friends, and even his step-children (with whom he maintains a wonderful relationship) try to fix him up with women, sometimes with quite amusing results. The children even go so far as to put an personals ad in The New York Review for him:
Science Guy. Erudite and kind, balding but handsome. Our widowed dad is the real thing for the right woman.

Edward reluctantly begins to see a few women, while keeping his love for his departed Bea alive. My main objection to the book has to do with one of these women, with whom I just can't believe he got involved with. (To say much more would be a big spoiler, but even a science guy, especially one erudite and bookish, should know that no good can come out of certain things. Relations with lunatics, even lunatics where there's good sex involved, usually don't come out well.

A few things I really LOVED in the book: Edward's aging mother-in-law, Gladys, and his relationship with her. It was heartwarming to see how much he cared about her and about his stepchildren. She had the feisty approach to life that bumma had, and a similar saltiness, and some of my favorite lines in the book were spoken by her. I also liked some of the museum bits, particularly at the Cloisters.

All in all, I enjoyed this book, and am thankful to LibraryThing and Ballantine Books for sending it along. I fully intend to pre-decease my husband. If he dies before me, I'll kill him.

[Barbara Bryant · Rating 3 out of 5]

I made an unfair comment while reading this that it was like putting comfy, familiar slippers on, but Wolitzer is worth much more than this.

I have read several of her other books and enjoyed them all--this is the first in a few years. Wolitzer says that she finds bedrooms and kitchens just as interesting as boardrooms and something else, and I agree with her. The personal, intimate details of a "plain" person can be infinitely fascinating, especially when the life described might be much like your own.

This story is about a newly-widowed man, Edward, a still-attractive and interesting 60-ish science teacher whose friends and family are urging him to step out and find a woman to date, or more (all the while hoping that he doesn't choose someone they do not care for). He struggles with this idea, still mourning his beloved wife Bee and swimming in the strange waters of loneliness. He doesn't want to be budged yet.

Still, he makes an effort, and his first forays are by turns awful, scary, funny and potentially okay. I had a little problem with his relationship with a former lover, whose psychological profile doesn't seem to fit this quiet book, but her inclusion was fair and added a sort of thrill to the narrative. Edward is shown to be an immensely likeable man and one with a charming intelligence and sense of humor. At my age, I might wish I knew him.

I would say that perhaps the balance in this book was a little off for me, but I could see myself reading it again in a few years. I was invested in what happened to him and to his family and friends, and I was convinced that the woman he is ultimately drawn to is the right one. There is a lot to frustrate in this book--people keep making bad choices, including Edward, and life seems almost too real, but in the end that is what Wolitzer is all about and why I come back to her again and again. She is an award-winning author whose ability is to see it as it is and get to the bottom of it.

[Kim McGee · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Available Man is a quiet read and is just the ticket for a reader who wants to get to know the characters and visit the scenes as a fly on the wall or bird in the tree. Edward has just lost the love of his life, his wife Bea, and soon after is inundated with dates or fix-ups. His stepdaughters, his friends and neighbors all just want him to not be alone and help him by placing a personal ad. This sets off a series of letters and blind dates that are funny and poignant but leave him still missing his wife and more out of sorts. When he does meet someone that peaks his interest an old fiance appears out of the blue and shakes things up. Will Edward's life ever work itself out despite everyone's good intentions? The book will appeal to lovers of Major Pettigrew Takes a Stand and all of us who have lost someone we love. I received this book as an advance copy and have already recommended it to many people.

[Sue Avis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is dear story of a recently widowed man and his life after the death of his beloved wife. A quick
read, but fulfilling nonethless. Edward, the main character had married late in life and had inherited
stepchildren and a mother-in-law, and had been blissfully happy for a short 20 years before his wife
died quickly from cancer.
Although understandably grief stricken, he continued to search for happiness where he could and
has a smattering of brief, unsatisfactory liaisons before finding true love yet again with an unlikely
woman.
I must confess I had a little trouble believing that he had such an easy time finding such a cadre
of available women to date - but I suppose an attractive man in his early 60's is a catch. I couldn't form a mental picture of him, or any of the characters in my head - the author's descriptions were
quite sparse - but they were all appealing and believable.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

As I was poking around websites, this was suggested as an Ove read-alike. The story follows a widower, who loved his deceased wife and was bereft without her, into the dating world. Apparently a widower, of a certain age, is like fresh chum in the ocean, and the ladies are the sharks. (side note: I have a beloved uncle, who found himself in just this situation, and sadly the story seems true). Anyway, if your sole requirement of an Ove read-alike is that it follows a lonely widower, than this is your book. For me it didn't have the charm of Ove or the depth of characterization. If you're looking for a lighter book discussion book, this could be the one.