Creating Joy and Meaning for the Dementia Patient: A Caregiver's Guide to Connection and Hope

by Ronda Parsons

According to recent estimates, more than five million Americans suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, a number predicted to grow as Baby Boomers continue to age. Although staggering, these statistics only tell half of the story. As caregivers are thrust into situations they never could have predicted, the emotional, physical, and financial strains are enormous and cannot be overestimated. As the number of dementia patients continues to increase, so will the number of caregivers searching for answers and advice.Creating Joy and Meaning for the Dementia Patient offers a positive and innovative approach to dementia care that focuses on the caregiver’s power to create an atmosphere of joy and peace for both the patient and themselves, breathing fresh air into the topic of dementia care.As the disease progresses, the patient’s world grows smaller and smaller. Time for them no longer consists of weeks, days, or even hours. Eventually their cognitive life is reduced to small increments of time, mere moments of memory. By understanding this and seeing the world through the eyes of a sufferer, the caregiver is better able to create an environment of mutual joy and contentment.Based on ten years of caregiving experience, the techniques offered here honor the patient’s individuality, interests, and previous accomplishments. This approach is fresh and inspirational, and recounts a personal journey, filled with relatable experiences that readers will find uplifting and brimming with hope. It teaches family members and other caregivers how to stay connected with their loved one for as long as possible. But most importantly, it honors the unique individual that still resides deep inside every dementia patient by offering techniques enabling them to continue to experience the simple joys of everyday life.

Genres: Nonfiction

231 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

`A quiet gentle soul seated in a Geri-Chair who seldom speaks, preferring instead to sit and hum soft impromptus.'

Virginia author Ronda Parsons has pursued a career in sales management and sales training. When her mother-in-law Nan was diagnosed with dementia, Ronda became her caregiver, at first frustrated with the idiosyncrasies of advancing dementia and gradually finding a path into those moment of lucidity and finding ways to make the last years of Nan happy ones. The ways in which she accomplished this, often by trial and error, Ronda shares with us in this radiantly beautiful book - a book that should be in the library of every household, awaiting the time (likely inevitable) when a family member may be struck with this disease.

As the very reality oriented Ronda states in her introduction, `This is not a technical manual about dementia and Alzheimer's disease. I'll leave the neurological changes and drug therapies to the experts. No, this is a book about the person that still lives inside each dementia patient and specific activities that allow them to once again experience the beauty of being alive. To give this gift to someone you love is a blessing beyond words and a joy indescribable.'

It is the sharing method Ronda employs that makes this beautifully written book so generously helpful for all of us who may be one day either the patient or the caregiver. She explains dementia in words that the lay person understands, talks us through the process of the disease, and in doing so makes us more sensitive to the techniques of providing a life of hope and happiness for the dementia patient. `Like most dementia suffers, Nan's behavioral and mental changes seemed to progress in fits and starts. She had periods when her symptoms would advance in a whirl of acceleration and then they would level off for a few months, or as in one instance, a year. Then her disease would resurface and she would go through another period of decline followed by a period of calm equilibrium. This up-and-down pattern continues even to this day, although the peaks and valleys are not as extreme as they once were. Helplessly watching someone you love slowly change and slip away is unfathomably sad and frightening. Each new symptom is like a punch in the stomach. The slowness of it only adds to your agony and increases your fear of what the future holds. Fear is an odd and deceptive emotion, a chameleon of sorts. One minute it can appear as anger; the next, as frustration. It has a negative impact on our behavior and feelings. When fighting dementia, fear often outruns our patience and taints our common sense, leaving us to march in futile circles around the same mountain again and again. Fear stifles our compassion and constructs insurmountable walls against the truth. Fear clouds our vision, leaving us to search in the dark for answers that were in front of us all along.'

Yes, she does provide considerable information from her own research with the National Alzheimer's Association - the signs and symptoms of onset, the management of those symptoms, employing the Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief, and the use of our own insight in identifying with the steps down the staircase of mental deterioration. But it is the crowning achievement of this book that shares how Ronda grew into the interstices of Nan's lucid moments an assured her presence in those moments was happy. Reading this book is not only a joy, it is profoundly inspirational and educational. Highly Recommended.

[Molly Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a deeply felt, intensely personal memoir covering the author's 10+ years of giving care to her beloved mother-in-law Nan who has developed dementia. But it is so much more than a memoir...the author sets out to share her experiences and the lessons she has learned caring for "her Nan". And she succeeds beautifully. She offers insights into her successes and, perhaps more importantly, her missteps and failures along the way. The author's goal, in addition to ensuring Nan's health, safety and dignity, is to fill her mother-in-law's life with beauty and help her to experience small moments of happiness and joy...that's a big order but the author tackled it and, again, succeeded. In the book she carefully outlines and explains the techniques that worked the best for the situations she and Nan found themselves in over the years. Any caregiver will find this book informative and inspirational.

[Imelda Cummins-DeMelkon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent means of support and helpful suggestions for anyone trying to maintain a decent and loving quality of life for a parent /relative dealing with the challenges of Dementia/Alzheimer's disease, in all of it's stages.The author writes with total honesty and clarity of the journey she so diligently undertakes with her ailing Mother-in Law and offers readers hope, insight and the underlying reassurance that every small moment counts.We get to share in the sometimes frustrating days of trying to alleviate a patient's anxiety and we also see beautiful, miraculous breakthroughs and the resulting beaming, unexpected smiles. I loved this book;it reminds us all of our basic human responsibility to see beyond the outer shell of the presentation of a disease and to lovingly offer dignity, respect and understanding.The author shows us that it is a true privilege to imprint another's life going forward and that we can indeed make a difference.

[B · Rating 4 out of 5]

For someone who has recently discovered that a loved one has dementia, this is a wonderful book for recognizing the indicators, for providing the supportive care and for finding the silver linings in what can be a horrible situation. Her stress on finding the joyful moments of connection, and providing worth and love to the afflicted person is so critical and made this book enjoyable reading

[JoAnn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a very good chapter on what to look for when you need to put your loved one in a care facility.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creating Joy & Meaning for the Dementia Patient offers a positive new approach to handling dementia patients and stems from the author's ten years of experience. It's designed to help fellow caregivers understand the stages of dementia and how to create connections and positive experiences through them all.

This guide is highly recommended for caregivers and professionals who deal with dementia and Alzheimer's patients on a daily basis. Where other guides may talk about communication and management, this book reaches beyond these subjects and addresses the fundamentals of life - joy and meaning - and emphasizes patient individuality; not a 'one size fits all' program.

Chapters empower caregivers by exploring their key roles in defining and imparting this sense of meaning and joy in everyday interactions, and they outline the types of experiences that lend to not just better understanding, but alternative ways of interaction that achieve better, more positive results for everyone.

In many ways Creating Joy & Meaning for the Dementia Patient fills in the gaps created by similar-sounding books by discussing the complications of memory changes and the psychological reactions of patients and caregivers during the process. Each chapter concludes with tangible insights, communication tips that emphasize flexibility and understanding, and approaches that lend dignity and joy into every encounter.

Compelling and satisfyingly specific, Creating Joy & Meaning for the Dementia Patient offers what few others have achieved: a sense of renewed purpose and concrete approaches that go beyond 'handling' and move into areas of positive experiences for all involved.