The Language of Others

by Clare Morrall

The world is a puzzling, sometimes frightening place for Jessica Fontaine. As a child she only finds contentment in playing the piano and wandering alone in the empty spaces of Audlands Hall, the dilapidated country house where she grows up. Twenty-five years later, divorced, with her son still living at home, Jessica remains preoccupied by the desire to create space around her. Then her volatile ex-husband reappears, the first of several surprises that both transform Jessica's present and give her a startling new perspective on the past. THE LANGUAGE OF OTHERS tells the absorbing story of a woman who spends much of her life feeling that she is out of step with the real world, until she discovers why. Related with humour and compassion, it offers a fresh, illuminating insight into what it means to be 'normal'.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, British Literature

384 pages, Hardcover

First published March 6, 2008

About the author

Man Booker Prize shortlisted Clare Morrall shot to fame in a true to life rags-to-riches story when her novel ‘Astonishing Splashes of Colour’ and her tiny, unknown publisher became front page news after the shortlisting. Later novels have featured on TV Book Club, Front Row and Woman’s Hour on Radio Four and Radio Three, along with the sale of film and foreign rights. She has been awarded an honorary Doctorate for Literature by Birmingham University and is a regular judge for the Rubery Book Award.

Based in Birmingham where she continues to teach music, she originally grew up in Devon. Her adult daughters are also novelists. Alex Morrall’s ‘Helen and the Grandbees’ is due for publication in 2020. Heather Morrall writes teenage novels. Clare spends her spare time gardening and on cryptic crosswords and sudoku.

*Portrait painted by award-winning artist Robert Neil, PPRBSA

Reviews

[Vishy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got Clare Morrall’s ‘The Language of Others’ a few years back while browsing in the bookshop. I liked the description of the story and so thought I will get the book. Morrall’s first book ‘Astonishing Splashes of Colour’ was shortlisted for the Booker prize. ‘The Language of Others’ is her third book. I have wanted to read it for a while now, and so now I thought I will read it as part of the British Women Writers series. Here is what I think.

‘The Language of Others’ is a story which has plot strands set in three time periods and tells the story of Jessica, who at the present time is in her forties, and who is a librarian and also a musician who gives piano concerts with her friend Mary. Jessica has a grown up son who is in his middle-twenties, has his own business and lives with her. Jessica is single. One day Jessica gets an email from her ex-husband Andrew, who says that he wants to meet her. After this the story moves back and forth between three time periods – the present, the past when Jessica is a young girl living at her parents’ place, when she is shy, introverted, likes being left alone with her piano and doesn’t like talking to her parents, sister or cousins and a third time period which is in between these two times, when Jessica is in college studying music where she meets Andrew and falls in love with him. What happens between Jessica and Andrew and why they have reached the situation they are in today, why Jessica is working as a librarian when she trained to become a musician, why Jessica’s grown up son still lives with her, why Jessica was quiet and introverted and wanted to be left alone when she was a child and whether she is still like that now – the answers to all these questions form the rest of the story.

I loved ‘The Language of Others’. Clare Morrall’s description of music is very beautiful and one of the most natural that I have read. Most of the time, when an author writes a book which has a classical music backdrop, I find that the description of music is very general and very soon the story explores love, death or other themes and the music part of the story is ignored. I suspect that this might be because the author doesn’t have expertise in music and for a non-expert it is difficult to write about music naturally and authentically (beyond mentioning a few composers, a few musical instruments and then saying that the music was divine or heavenly or enveloped the audience warmly like a cloud). But Morrall’s passages on music are brilliant, authentic and natural – they have enough technical information without intimidating the musical novice and they are also beautiful and transport the reader inside the story into the music scene. It is a difficult art and Morrall is an expert at it. It must have helped that she is a music teacher too. This was one of the first musical passages which made me fall in love with the book.

The violin player started to play sections of concertos – Tchaikovsky, Sibelius, Beethoven – carelessly, tossing them off into the air like quick flurries of rain. Each one swirled around in the wind for a few seconds, sharp but brilliant, uncertain whether to settle for a serious downpour or move away and give up.

For a book which I fell in love with, it also made me angry, quite angry. There were many scenes in the story where the heroine Jessica gets bullied by different people and it continues till the end, till she learns to resist them and fight back. I hate bullies and I hate nice people being bullied and the scenes where Jessica suffers at the hands of bullies were quite realistic and they made me quite angry. I am normally quite calm and never get angry when I read a book, but this was an exception.

I liked the old-fashioned way of storytelling that Clare Morrall had adopted. It almost read like a Victorian novel written in modern language. I don’t think that there was a word or a sentence or a scene wasted and the sentences were constructed beautifully and they all made the story move forward. All the characters were well fleshed out. My favourite characters were Jessica, her friend Mary, her son Joel’s girlfriend Alice, her mother Connie and her piano teacher Thelma Gulliver. Jessica’s ex-husband Andrew and her cousin Philip were two characters that I didn’t like (and who made me angry) but they were important characters in the story. Traditional storytelling, interesting characters, beautiful prose, musical backdrop, powerful scenes which make one angry and happy and sad, an ending which had a surprise but which was also very satisfying – what else does one need? ‘The Language of Others’ is a perfect novel. I can’t believe that I waited for so many years to read it. I know we have not reached the half way point of the year yet, but I can safely say that ‘The Language of Others’ is and will be one of my favourite books of the year. I can’t wait to read other books by Clare Morrall. I want to read all of them.

I will leave you with some of my favourite passages from the book.

I couldn’t really understand what Andrew saw in me. It was as if a shaft of brilliant sunshine had decided to push its way into a dark corner of the house where it wouldn’t naturally go, turning a corner to get there, penetrating walls that obstructed its progress, breaking all the laws of physics.

I was fascinated by the way people changed when they dressed up, became someone different. They shimmered and glittered and it was like placing them in front of a mirror, turning them through 360 degrees, and finding them altered when they came back. The same people, the same features, but subtly different. The nose that had seemed too big became elegant, the lips that protruded too much became full and individual. Skinny people became slim, fat people warm and shapely. I began to see what attracted people to each other. A glistening aura that was not normally on show.

Her left hand started to stroke the repeated A flats with a gentle insistence, establishing a constant presence, but taking a passive role, hardly there at all. The right hand sang out, cantabile, easing its way through the simplicity of the melody. Rubato, indulgent, taking its time. Each phrase rose and fell, shaped and polished with love. This was how you played Chopin. It was music for the nineteenth-century salon, a piece to impress George Sand and the cultured circles of Paris, who, like Thelma Gulliver, were all slightly in love with the consumptive, temperamental composer from Poland.

Pretence gives you room to get round obstacles without touching them, the space to observe that there are other sides to people, not just the abrasive, challenging attitude that you can’t cope with. You have to view people from new angles, see where the light falls, discover which edges have been worn down and softened with time. Otherwise you get so caught up in the negatives you can’t see anything else.

I want to hear the echo of nothing for miles around. I want to be the only person who can disturb the air when I walk through my house. I can feel it parting to let me through, closing up again behind me. The silence soaks into my mind, an invisible medicine that drips down, melting hardened arteries, easing its way into neglected and forgotten places.
Apparently, loneliness is a twenty-first-century disease which leads to alcoholism, drug-taking, depression, suicides. It’s better to be married if you want to live longer. I defy all of this research. I thrive on the emptiness of my house.

Have you read ‘The Language of Others’ by Clare Morrall?

[Liz Chapman · Rating 2 out of 5]

The people in this book annoyed me intensely , especially Andrew who was a complete nut job and came across as an incomplete and a rather insincere character. For me it would have been better if the story gone into more detail of how Jess herself saw ,heard and experienced her life as a child and more detail about why she was unable to communicate with the other people in her life. The parents were so self absorbed it was painful and most of them needed therapy! They did not try to find out what was wrong with Jess and ignored the bullying from the cousins although it seems they knew it was going on. This book treated what could have been quite a riveting in depth look at autism in successive generations of a family like a holiday read or woman's magazine story.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a quieter book than Morrall's previous one, which was very much plot-driven (not a complaint). One thing all three of her novels share is her skill of drawing believable, real characters. All three have great titles, too. Morrall writes with a light touch, deft and self-assured. And she always has great things to say about memory -- one of my favorite themes.

[Kirsty Darbyshire · Rating 5 out of 5]

After two books Clare Morrall was on my "must buy in hardback" list and she's not moving off it as this, her third book, is superb.

This book really flows. The narrative jumps around Jessica's life: in her forties the story is told in the first person including looking back to her early adulthood and her childhood is narrated in the third person. "Jump" is the wrong word though because the whole thing joins up so seamlessly. This is writing so good that you could almost read the book without noticing how well it's written - the words just take you exactly where you want them to. It's not invisible writing though, it's just like sitting in a spa pool with gloriously warm water flowing over you, you don't need to do anything, you just enjoy letting the words wash over you.

The story isn't bad either. I found the cast of characters to be very believable - even when they were making the most ludicrous decisions or acting stupidly I found myself believing that these people really would do that.

Best book I've read this year at the very least.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jessica’s story is told in three interwoven threads: her childhood, her marriage and post marriage. Throughout we know that Jessica is “different”; but we don’t know why, or Jessica doesn’t know why, but I and I am sure lots of others readers will have an inkling. She only finds out when her son is diagnosed in his 20’s. Her difference makes her vulnerable and prone to being a victim throughout her life, but she grows in strength and understanding as a result of her experiences. In spite of her difference she emerges a strong, confident and successful woman at the end. Well written and very enjoyable.

[Edwina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and especially the main character - Jess - who despite a lack of empathy is actually a really understandable character.

Some aspects of the book are glossed over and we never really get to understand Andrew, who is clearly disturbed but in some way enables Jess to find herself and build a relationship with her son. The writing is quite spare, but for good reason, given that the book is mainly written through the eyes of Jess.

Above all, the book raises lots of questions about the nature of 'normality' - I don't have aspergers or autism myself but I still found the main characters views and life approach understandable. She battles life and understanding people just as we all do in life and that is refreshing.

Clare Morrall says that she is not interested in writing about affairs, and on the basis of this book, I would agree that she shouldn't. Her books have a place in challenging us to consider others.

I am aware that this book was written as Morrall's response to Mark Haddon's "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" which I've also read. I think that both Morrall's and Haddon's books reveal different things about aspergers and autism..... and I am sure that there will be many more books about these conditions as they are ripe for artists to explore the fundamental nature of human beings and society.

I guess the ultimate homage I can pay to this book is the desire to listen more to the music referred to throughout the story - Schumann's "Scenes from Childhood" and "About Strange Lands and People".

[Jayne Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve yet to read a bad book by Clare Morrall; in particular I like the way she zeroes in on life’s oddball characters. In this novel, we meet Jessica, a woman so much like me it was creepy at times. Socially inept, she blunders into a marriage with a man who has bizarre personality traits of his own, and together they have a son who is also a social misfit. Tumultuous events follow and the author uses these to show what life is like when you struggle to relate to other people.

The structure of the novel was interesting: three separate strands of the narrative cover the distant past, the more recent past and the present, and all are interspersed. There is also a mixture of first and third person narration, which can be disorientating but allows us to see some of the events from the perspective of the supporting characters. Stylistically it was reminiscent of William Boyd’s ‘Brazzaville Beach’.

I liked the way most chapters build up to a dramatic event in Jessica’s life, each one exquisitely horrific (the concert, the picnic, the driving lesson...). One exception is the opening chapter which felt self-consciously literary and in which very little happens. I fear anyone picking this novel up in a bookshop and skimming the opening sections might write it off as slow or dull, when in fact the opposite is true.

[Sibyl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clare Morrall writes brilliantly about oddity, separation, difference. In this novel, where Jessica and her 'difficult' husband Andrew meet as music students, she also does a wonderful job in conveying what it's like to be a classical musician, a performer.

Mark Haddon was massively successful in fusing an exploration of the world of a young man who has Asperger's Syndrome with the detective fiction genre.

This author is blending a story about autism with the sort of family story in which - with the help of time, love, patience and understanding - nearly every problem can be overcome. I felt as if both the heroine Jessica and her son were virtually forced into happy endings, by the writer - in a way that I didn't find wholly believable. I also struggled to accept that even a 'different' person like Jessica could, as a caring parent, be so completely unaware of her son's business activity.

However despite some flawed plotting, Clare Morrall writes powerfully about the struggles that take place within families. I'm glad to have read this novel, even though everything seemed too dramatically, too neatly resolved, at the end.

[Carly D · Rating 4 out of 5]

A subtle exposition of what it is like to be on the autism spectrum and not be aware that this is so. Jessica has always felt somewhat different from other people but never really known why. She embarks on a series of life decisions that bring her closer to the point of being at peace within herself. Once again, Clare Morrall does not disappoint.

[Miriam]

HELLO FACEBOOK I THOUGHT THIS WAS FINE THOUGH A LITTLE LONGER THAN IT NEEDED TO BE

[Nh Clune · Rating 5 out of 5]

The riddle of others!

[Simon Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Morrall can write a compelling and engaging exploration of a woman's life. Especially one who fees they are at a remove from the rest of the world. Her characterisation, not only of her protagonist Jessica Fontaine (who we see as a child, hear from her in adulthood and also get a glimpse of her young married life) but the vivid characters who surround her; her withdrawn son Joel, her eccentric parents and her troubled husband Andrew. Her childhood home Audlands is also an ever present character, changing states from illustrious to crumbling throughout the narrative.

It's Jessica's love of music that serves as her understanding and joy of the world. A language she can master, it's the language of others that come across as perplexing.

The idea that Jessica is autistic is floated by her parents early on, with a trademark lack of understanding of the early 80's. But this 2008 novel, praised as 'one of the first major portrayals of adult female Autism in fiction.', leaves a lot to be desired. Morrall does manage to treat all her characters (neurodivergent or not) with the same scrutiny of human frailty, so it's not a personal statement of her thoughts on autism, in fact, she reserves her most damning critique of a failed life for a distinctly neurotypical character. The real clunks of the novel appear when characters signpost autism in a distinctly 'public information film' way, reeling off the latest understanding of autism 'you know there's a spectrum' etc. it feels horribly outdated, and smacks of a 'us and them' mentality. Did Morrall ever wonder what autistic readers may think? I feel Morrall managed to straddle the tightrope of highlighting the uncomfortable truths of other's ignorance and also elucidating the inner life of an autistic person who may not even realise that autism is the cause of their otherness, but she does occasionally fall into the trap of the obvious. Still it's an important stepping-stone in representation and characterisation. It's an easy, entertaining read, that offers much.

[Veronica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is Tessa Hadley territory, so if you like her, I think you would enjoy this. It's very much character-driven, exploring the relationships between a distinctly odd cast of characters, most of whom are not good at interacting with other people. It takes place in three different time periods, with main character Jess recounting the present in the first person, while other sections are third person.

Morrall may not be as good a writer as Hadley, but she creates great settings and believable characters who act like real people. Jess struggles with the outside world, preferring to be a loner, but she finds her way into the world via her discovery of music (beautifully evoked here; Morrall is a musician). Her one close, supportive relationship is with Mary, her piano duet partner, who is gentle and understanding. Unfortunately Jess drifts into marriage with the decidedly unsavoury Andrew. We're never quite sure exactly what his mental health problem is, but he is effective at coercive control, if nothing else; Jess spends her time desperately trying not to upset him while also doing her best to nurture an uncommunicative son.

The end of the story is a bit too neat and contrived. But it's good to see Jess develop and find the strength to stand up to the outside world. It was a very enjoyable, easy read, and I'll look out for Morrall's Booker shortlisted first novel Astonishing Splashes of Colour.

[Nikki Copleston · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book - I'd have given it 5 stars but I found the ending a little disappointing, but it's a good read, with credible characters and an interesting structure that takes the narrative back and forth through Jessica's life.
Married to a difficult man, Jess herself had an awkward childhood, a girl who didn't fit in, who found it hard to socialise - unlike her popular sister, Harriet. Her marriage to Andrew deteriorates into violence, and the couple go their separate ways - until Andrew turns up again, full of zeal about changing his life. Alarm bells ring.
Music underscores this novel, with Jess being an accomplished pianist and Andrew an excellent violinist. I love Clare Morrall's style - there is something so lucid about it, without the language or syntax being simplistic.
A good read indeed!

[Lucy · Rating 3 out of 5]

When reading this book, I was struck by the three strand timeline. I really enjoyed the structure of the book and being able to understand each aspect of the main character's life by seeing it through multiple different times throughout their life. I have however only rated this book at three star because the story can sometime be quite repetitive and the main character can sometimes be quite predictable in her reactions. Despite this, I still enjoyed the lesser seen unravelling of autism within females and the difficultly in diagnosing this.

[Sian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Morrall is an excellent story teller. This book is narrated through the central character of Jessica Fontaine and her experiences of music, a disastrous marriage, a ‘strange’ son, growing up as a member of an eccentric family and feeling constantly out of place. The plot takes us on a journey into ‘normality’ and in the process Jessica changes from passivity to occupying and owning her space in life.

[Lorri Coburn · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took about two CDs to get into this audiobook, but I'm glad I stayed. Jessica is a woman on the autistic spectrum, in an era where there was little awareness of autism. She slowly develops the ability to function more fully in the world. Much of the story revolves around her ex-husband and son, both of whom are also autistic.

[Maria White · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book explores the condition of Aspergers. Enlightening in that respect.

However, I am puzzled by the character of Andrew who surely had some kind of mental disorder. There is no explanation as to his condition.

[Hilary spence · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought Jess was normal! There were even phrases & opinions that I have aired verbatim ..to the autism specialist doctor🤣. I was so convinced nothing out of the ordinary was going on that I wondered where this story was going. Pleasant book, easy read. It kept my attention in the main.

[Ingrid Self · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a somewhat slow start, this gathered momentum and when I finished it, found I had enjoyed it quite a lot. She has a way of writing that her characters are not always likeable but some time along the way, they become more so, so that you really want to know what happens. Recommend.

[Judith Greve · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like a slow book if it means that the (main) characters are worked out very well and surroundings are described but this book was slow without the characters gaining depth and surroundings staying shallow.
Also I found he story too predictable

[Penny McGee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m being a little generous here as I’d really like to rate this as 3.5 ⭐️! The novel felt rather clunky at times, with things spelled out to the reader rather than just emerging naturally. But I enjoyed the story and overall it was a pleasant read.

[Nimdul Vencit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im trying to get access to this work but it seems not yo be connecting and i'm wondering why.,...

[Jude Hayland · Rating 3 out of 5]

I very much liked the first half of this novel - but I felt it flagged a little and I found the ending unconvincing. I would probably give it 3.5 stars if I could ...

[Hilary Blake · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very slow but ultimately rewarding as Jess and Joel's conditions were uncovered. Lovely descriptions of Audlands and the countryside.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story telling and character development, the two most important criteria in a book

[Karen Toogood · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish reading this book, it did not read the way the blurb indicated, got bored of the book & decided to cut short

[Gilang Danu · Rating 4 out of 5]

'If everyone's special, then no one is,' my lecturer once said that. If everything is colored white, then there'll be no other colors. It's a simple logic and one way of looking at life. In a world where 7 billion people living and breathing simultaneously, is there still a room for uniqueness, for individuality, for being 'special'? Perhaps there isn't. Clare Morrall took us to see the world from a certain scope: individual scope. Seen from bigger picture, perhaps, the world is boring and uniformed. Nothing is special. But looking deeper, into that small circle of people closest to us, the very people we've known for years. We could find something entirely different.

"Could you force someone into a role that didn't fit them? Make them dress up when they had trouble identifying themselves in normal clothes?"

The protagonist in the book is Jessica Fontaine, someone whose worldview is different from the rest of 'normal' people. She can't, for instance, develop empathy, or to connect easily with people. Instead, she loved to create imaginary spaces where she can hide from other people and enjoy quiet world of her own. As a child, Jessica was mostly kept to herself, but that's only until she finally found her muse, her language, her way of connecting with outer world. She found it in the beautiful melody of a piano. Via the world of music, Jessica discover new friend, new experience, and entire new world to be explored. She then enrolled herself to a music university, and met a brilliant violinist (yet a total narcissist), Andrew. The two then went steady together, and ended up in marriage. The problem began to surface from here: Jess, emotionally detached from other people, and Andrew, the biggest narcissist in the world found their marriage isn't exactly a dream come true. Instead, it was a nightmare. Not even their only son, Joel (who inherited some genetical problem from both her mother and father) could save his parents' marriage.

"Apparently, loneliness is a 21st century disease which leads to alcoholism, drug taking, depression, suicides. It's better to be married if you want to live longer. I defy all this research. I thrive on the emptiness of my house."

The Language of Others is a masterpiece of characterization. Every characters in the book are believable and well-developed. Anyone with even the slightest knowledge about psychology or personality theory must've really appreciated the way Morral wrote the characters in the book. She didn't glorify illness, or exaggerate the condition of the characters, rather she examined and told it carefully. I love also how Morrall described music in the book: as transcendent entity undulating beautifully across words and pages. From Jessica's perspective, music isn't just aural stimulus, or something to be listened to. For Jess, music is a powerful magic, capable of moving her to new places. It was also music that gave her the strength to went on with life. She managed to became a very successful single parent: she took care of Joel, became a good (if not great) domestic wife-mother, even became financially independent.

"I have no sense of loss for myself. I don't mind the absence of love. For me comfort lies in solitude, in not having to think of other people."

I remember bought a copy of this book years ago because I thought it would be a good casual read, something I can pick on and off at leisurely pace. Turns out, I read the book in almost one-sitting. Morrall's simple and very readable words made the book almost impossible to be put down. All that's left to say: The Language of Others is amazing. The kind of book that will stay with you for a very, very long time.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

A young girl who prefers to be alone, who lacks the social skills to have friends, who marries young and rapidly becomes a mother. This is the intense story of Jessica Fontaine who longs for the air in her house to be hers alone, who manages a difficult marriage and worries about how she is raising her son. This is a story of a lifetime of self-discover and self-acceptance. This description may make the book sound as if nothing happens but it does and, as in any Clare Morrall, subtlety is layered on subtlety.
Jessica grows up at Audlands, a country house which is decaying around the family. Her father was a successful chocolate manufacturer and the house a symbol of his success. As he grows older and the company fails, so does the house. Jessica and her sister Harriet grow up side-by-side, loving the house, the dirt and cobwebs, but not really knowing or understanding each other. Only when Jessica discovers the piano does she find freedom.
This is a novel about Asperger’s and the autism spectrum and one woman’s acceptance of her own emotional issues and how they impact and intertwine with the emotional issues of her unpredictable husband Andrew and quiet solitary child Joel. As she grows older, through music and with a supportive friend, Jessica learns the tools to make life easier. ‘Pretence gives you room to get around obstacles without touching them, the space to observe that there are other sides to people, not just the abrasive, challenging attitude that you can’t cope with. You have to view people from new angles, see where the light falls, discover which edges have been worn down and softened with time. Otherwise you get so caught up in the negatives you can’t see anything else.’
There is a lot of wisdom in this book, insights in how to behave – and not behave - within relationships, and how to be forgiving of others.
Read more of my book reviews at http://www.sandradanby.com/book-revie...

[林 · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were times I felt like crying as I read this. It could be because I'm feeling pretty stressed at the moment, battling fears of approaching people in general and putting as much effort as possible into my several assignments now; and there's more on my mind than I'm willing to divulge.

First, I must admit: I have very little knowledge of autism. I cannot comment on how accurately Jessica and Joel are portrayed. Perhaps Roland has a mild condition too. & Andrew... he's definitely not normal. ADHD? (But really, I'm just hitting random buttons here.)

I definitely didn't like the children young Jessica's friends were. All of them annoyed me, although Philip certainly stood out as the one Jessica was most afraid of. Philip not realising it until he was told as an adult shocked me, but perhaps a more normal person's perspective needs to be employed here to understand this. Harriet acted as a foil but she faded often into the background, and through Jessica's eyes it was difficult to see much more of her. But Alice... Alice was lovely. She brought a resolution, and a hope that abnormal people could somehow find their place in normal society too. The best part: she was believable, because she and Joel had their serious arguments too.

Sometimes I felt like I related to Jessica a lot, because similarly I tend to feel lost in social situations, almost entirely oblivious to social cues even though I know they exist somewhere. But Jessica...really finds joy in solitude, all the time. I cannot, once in a while, and am only comfortable enough to cry alone.