The Imperfect Pastor: Discovering Joy in Our Limitations through a Daily Apprenticeship with Jesus

by Zack Eswine

Dear Pastor,

Desire burns within you. You've trained and dreamt of doing large things in famous ways as fast as you can for God's glory. But pastoral work keeps requiring your surrender to small, mostly overlooked things over long periods of time.

You stand at a crossroads. Jesus stands with you. You were never meant to know everything, fix everything, and be everywhere at once. That's his job, not yours.

So what now? Let the apprenticeship begin.

Genres: Christian, Leadership, Church, Theology, Nonfiction, Faith, Christian Living

271 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2015

About the author

zack is an author, pastor and mentor seeking words for living humanly in Jesus.

Reviews

[Demetrius Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an outstanding read. Didn't know much of Zack Eswine before beginning this book, but I will definitely be visiting him again. I can tell he's somewhat of a contemplative. And he reads and cites many of my favorite authors, such as Eugene Peterson, Wendell Berry, and Marilynne Robinson. And the guy is a Spurgeon scholar too! (Did his dissertation on him.) So I've found an exciting new friend. And what a great author. His style is fresh and original. A little indirect, poetic even, but extremely thoughtful, insightful, and brutally honest. One of the best books on pastoral ministry I've read. But, I'm not sure this book should be restricted to just ministers. No doubt Eswine is writing to the pastor, but anybody can read this with great benefit.

Eswine's main burden is "to rescue the pastor from trying to fix it all, know it all, be everywhere for all as fast and as famously as possible." And this book is detox from that insidious notion. Pastoral ministry is not the celebrity way. Rather, according to Eswine, the ministry is best sourced in a quiet life - doing "small, mostly overlooked things, over a long period of time." This is a primer on the contented life. And it goes down like sweet, but stout medicine.

Highly recommended!

[Graham Heslop · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite only giving this work three stars, I am convinced that it is one every pastor should read, perhaps more than once. There are a few reasons for my lower than average rating: (1) at times I wasn't sure if this book was autobiographical or instructive, while I'm not calling those genres exclusive I felt - for a book on ordinary ministry - that at times Eswine was working through his own experiences rather than offering the wisdom they provided; (2) the style was therefore frustrating at times, with chapters being strangely structured and poorly headed, making the use of this title as a resource challenging; and, finally, (3) the book is longwinded at points.

On the other hand, Eswine does a lot of things really well: (1) notwithstanding my criticism on style, the pastoral insights smack of authenticity and genuine grappling; (2) Scripture is brilliantly woven into his challenges and reflections; (3) the emphasis on people as significant and ultimately what matters in our ministry; (4) articulation of the "omni-temptations" we all face; (5) the call to see our local church, however small or seemingly insignificant, as the place God wants us to be and which is pleasing to him; and (6) challenging and questioning our aspirations and ambitions

[Matt Pitts · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't perfect, but it was exactly what I needed at the end of a long and exhausting season. There is encouragement for the weary here, as well as gentle warnings for the ambitious.

I wish every pastor would read chapter 14 sometime during their first three years at a church. And I wish every weary, disillusioned, or nearly burned out pastor would read it before he decides whether to keep going or call it quits.

I'm grateful for all those who publicly commended this book...it could not have finally gotten my attention at a better time.

[Matt Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading “The Imperfect Pastor” as I’ve begun pastoring in Bangkok and as 2022 draws to a close. Though the writing style is a bit odd (for me), the book has been like breathing fresh air. In some way, I feel like the Lord had me read it at this time in order to survive the coming years. I intend the book to shape new habits for 2023.

It reminds me a bit of David Murray’s excellent “Reset,” which I may revisit as a result of this book.

[John Uit de Flesch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This guy has a real grip on pastoring. He writes in conversational style. I especially enjoyed his points about mindset—like patience and humility. His chapter on church discipline was excellent. He employs eldership (separate from the term “pastor”) and continues to pastor after a divorce—if you can look past a few things such as this you will be blest.

[Colin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic recommendation from a friend. Eswine writes specifically to pastors, but his concepts and principles for following Jesus are universally applicable. I would highly recommend to pastors, elders, full-time ministry workers, and anyone who is exploring becoming a pastor in the future (or an engineer, nurse, teacher, etc.). Short and accessible chapters make this an easy read, but one that I trust will challenge some of your ministry definitions and practices.

[David Hardy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sobering yet comforting read on the realities of pastoral ministry. Updating of one of my favorites “Sensing Jesus”, it is shorter and more specifically oriented to pastors, but would be helpful for anyone who desires to lead others in the way of Jesus in any capacity.

Not many of the theology books I read use the terms “Mamaw” and “Papaw” in the same way as me, and especially not as impactfully as Eswine does. My Appalachian roots feel seen :)

[Noah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was very surprised how relevant and helpful this book was. Very devotional and practical. I figured it was for guys who were losing it but it’s much broader than that. (Or maybe I’m losing it… 😆) Either as a lone pastor in a growing church there were plenty of application points with lots of practical suggestions. Highly recommended, great soul care for devotions or a getaway.

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zack Eswine's book has effected and helped me more than any other book on pastoral ministry.

Read again in 2022 with a ministry apprentice - certainly rewards the re-read.

(Read 'Sensing Jesus', the original and longer version, in 2016)

[Jesse Ingram]

Second time reading this book. The first time truly humbled me in many ways. The second time through brought a sobering confirmation to my view of ministry. I know this book will continue to help me on my path as a follower of Jesus for years to come.

[Patrick Poteet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for pastors. Heart issues, practical issues - all a covered. My top pick for current books for pastors.

[Joel Rasmussen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a hard read, the author did not hold back on this one and was brutally honest about his failings, his sins and his slow and brutal restoration. A must read for anyone who strives for eldership or ministry, it'll make you reassess your motives, your habits and the real costs of it. This book will stay with me a while I think.

[Caleb Batchelor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A realistically beautiful vision of pastoral ministry.

[jairo Namnun · Rating 5 out of 5]

¿Tal vez el mejor libro sobre ministerio pastoral que he leído?

Eugene Peterson aplicado a mi generación, bendito sea el Dios santo y cercano. Ojalá y pronto esté en español. Tal vez antes de que lo vuelva a leer, que de seguro será el próximo año.

[Élizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think I possess an adequate vocabulary to even begin to try to describe what outstanding good God did to me through this book. The temptations, idols, and ambitions of missionaries are extremely similar to and as deadly as those of pastors. Being a PK, these are even more ingrained into my own soul's DNA.

Through these pages, I was exceedingly blessed, exceedingly comforted, exceedingly known, exceedingly convicted, exceedingly challenged, and exceedingly reoriented to the life-giving Gospel of Rabbi Jesus.

Whatever my function or title, I am first and foremost involved in a daily apprenticeship with Him. So do you.

- If you are serving people in ministry (or aspiring for this) in any missional or pastoral role, especially under a leadership capacity, this book was written for you.

- If you come from a ministerial background and whatever your experience, good or bad, this book welcomes you.

- If, in ministry, you are feeling considerable pressure coming from outside and within yourself—say, in particular, your own motivations, dreams, and hopes from when you entered in ministry that have not played out the way you were expecting—this book is most definitely calling out your name.

So fellow apprentices, enjoy. And make sure to read it slowly and prayerfully. Don't ruin it through haste. It's your soul who's at stake here. Savour well.

[Craig Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book and plan to re-read it regularly. Zack also did some great talks based on this content at https://ibcd.org/Series/the-imperfect.... I had the privilege of interviewing him and his wife Jessica about some of these topics - https://ibcd.org/025-zack-jessica-esw....

[JD Veer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Still one of the most profound, tender and life-giving books around.

Still in my top 3, ever.

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent. Many good remarks regarding the character, work, and temptations of a pastor. I was challenged numerous times toward greater humility and gentleness.

[Nikki Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this book. Eswine’s writing is poetic and real and speaks more to failings graced by the presence of Jesus than it does performance. Beauty.

[Wood Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful tool for pastors

What a great encouragement and blessing this book is. Book to help pastor know it's okay not to be perfect.

[Weston Schnetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing.

[Ryan Hawkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Refreshing. I don’t think I would’ve appreciated this much even a year ago. But now, being even only 1.5 years into full-time pastoral ministry, I can sense why it’s frequent for pastors to get discouraged, overwhelmed, and burnt out—and I’m not even a senior pastor. So, in this arena, this book is a breath of fresh air.

Honestly, it wasn’t all spectacular. But that’s okay. In fact, I think Eswine would be more than okay with that fact. But chapter by chapter spoke of a new aspect of ministry, and a better way forward for our own trust and rest. So all in all, each chapter was restorative.

But particularly my favorite chapters were “Desire,” “Invisible,” “A New Ambition,” and “Leadership.” Especially for a younger pastor like myself, “Desire” was the best of them all.

But I will say this—and this is why it is 4 stars instead of 5. Eswine clearly falls into the more Nouwen-type approach to pastoral ministry here. (I experienced much of this at Covenant Seminary. In fact, Eswine was my first preaching professor in a class of about 8 students. I thoroughly enjoyed him as a person and teacher.) By “Nouwen-type” I mean that it emphasizes our limitations, humanity, brokenness, and things such as being more present with people and silence. I think I especially can learn much from this; which is why I appreciated this book. But I do wish there was some sort of combination of the two. People rarely get the both-and. Either people are so about leading, making a big difference for the gospel; or they are all about humanity, presence, etc. Eswine gets closest to this both-and in his final chapter entitled, “Romantic Realist” as he explains we can dream (‘romantic’), but we also must be rooted in reality (‘realism’). But even so, his book heavily leaned one direction. That being said, I enjoyed it. And I think it was a much more gospel-centered, biblical approach then I think people like Henry Nouwen offers.

Overall, I savored it because of its ministerial life-giving ability. I most certainly will read it again—maybe even every couple years.

[Peter Yock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know how many people have recommended this book to me in recent months... but a lot. For good reason.

It's gut-wrenchingly helpful. A very real, deep look into pastoral ministry, motivations, and the Christian life in general (and Christian leadership in particular). A book to be read slowly. And re-read. With lots of room for reflection and prayer.

I'd recommend just about any Christian who is a part of a church read this book. On the one hand, it's an easy read. On the other hand, though the reading is easy, the challenges are deep and hard. In a good way.

I suspect this is only the first of several read-throughs for me.

[Samuel Kassing · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent. In some ways it is a more condensed rewrite of his earlier book “Sensing Jesus”. It’s the same topics he covered in the earlier work but with 2/3 new content and without the poetry. This makes this work more accessible and easier to read. Personally, “Sensing Jesus” has probably been the most impactful pastoral theology book that I’ve ever read. This book being in the same vein means that I can’t recommend it highly enough.

“We are all in a daily apprenticeship to Jesus where we are recovering our humanity and helping others recover theirs.”

If you are in ministry this is a book that I think is truly a “must read”.

[Ben Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This took me a while to get into - it’s a pensive and reflective style that I wasn’t expecting.

But the more I’ve read it the more thankful I am. Humble, hard learned lessons from a pastor who knows his weaknesses and by grace has learned from mistakes. A book I think I’ll come back to often.

[Rainer Erani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything Zack Eswine writes is gold. This book included. Eswine is an incredible pastor of pastors.

Eswine has a knack for talking about the things you wish didn’t have to be written about. The topics that you wish didn’t need books. Grateful, for Eswine’s vulnerability and wisdom.

This book makes the weary feel seen by Christ. What a noble way of writing.

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, deeply profound, and practically helpful. Outstanding.

[Tim Sandell · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptionally good book for those in ministry. Written for pastors, it required a double step to apply it to our situation and ministry, but it has been incredibly challenging and helpful.

The four chapters on temptations faced in ministry were especially challenging and helpful: the temptations to be everywhere for all, to know it all, to be able to fix it all, and to do all that immediately.

Brilliant. A must read if you’re in ministry.

[Matt Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a refreshing read and one that I’d warmly recommend to all Christian readers, not just pastors.

[Alan Rennê · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este livro me fez refletir acerca de muitas questões relacionadas ao ministério pastoral. Chega a ser humilhante em alguns momentos.