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The Bitchy Waiter: Tales, Tips & Trials from a Life in Food Service
Millions of people have, at some point in their lives, waited tables. Some only did it in college, or got out by sheer determination, good luck . . . or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a restaurant packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he’s vented his frustrations in the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter.
A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales—about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.
A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales—about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.
227 pages, Paperback
First published April 5, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 88 reviews
February 9, 2017
The author has a weird perspective of his industry. He preaches to those of us that pay money to eat in restaurants on how we should treat him, not on how his industry should improve its customer service towards us.
Cardosa thinks that waiters rule and customers ought to be grateful for the attention and not only pay through the nose for service but also be very humble at the same time. The waiters' job is arduous, stressful and he doesn't need people making demands, asking for things, or making conversation with their families while he is attempting to execute it.
The author and O'Malley, author of Embarrassing Confessions of a Marine Lieutenant are two of a kind. They should have lunch together. But I bet that Cardosa feels himself the superior!
Cardosa thinks that waiters rule and customers ought to be grateful for the attention and not only pay through the nose for service but also be very humble at the same time. The waiters' job is arduous, stressful and he doesn't need people making demands, asking for things, or making conversation with their families while he is attempting to execute it.
The author and O'Malley, author of Embarrassing Confessions of a Marine Lieutenant are two of a kind. They should have lunch together. But I bet that Cardosa feels himself the superior!
April 16, 2026
***NO SPOILERS***
By the end of The Bitchy Waiter two things are clear: Too many people treat wait staff like garbage, and author Darron Cardosa hates people. This title and sarcastic cover image (a mustachioed waiter standing beside the words “I’m really good at pretending to care!”) was a tip-off that I was in for one blunt and irreverent read, but what the cover couldn’t tell me was just how much I needed to hold onto my seat.
I do empathize with Cardosa; I was a server for a bit as a teen, and I don’t look back on that experience with any warm feelings. This seems to be the general consensus (although I did meet two people who somehow enjoyed serving). Cardosa speaks the absolute truth. What I had trouble empathizing with, however, is his pure disgust, rancor, bitterness. The man hates the food-and-beverage industry, and he absolutely loathes the people he serves. It was tough to read his words because his moral of the story—that we need to remember wait staff are people, not slaves, and always treat them with courtesy and decency—is overwhelmed by such nastiness.
Cardosa’s little book, based on his popular blog of the same name, is one part lesson (its best aspect), one part ranting, and one part arbitrary. It’s strongest when it’s genuinely helpful, such as this plainly stated tip under the heading “5 Obnoxious Things Customers Need to Stop Doing”:
The ranting, though, spoils the book. Cardosa is indeed “the bitchy waiter” because he bitches a lot. His solution to the problem of patrons who bypass “wait to be seated” signs isn’t just emotionally immature and unprofessional, it’s malicious, and Cardosa deserves to be fired on the spot for it: He ignores them after they’ve seated themselves. He calls one female patron “a fucking drama queen,” plus “Bitch Face,” “horse-faced bitch of a whore,” and “horsey bitch,” all in addition to a generous sprinkling of “bitch” and other hateful labels throughout the book. At the book’s lowest points, he pokes fun at the fat customers he’s served, referring to one child as “Super-Size Shirley” because she resembles a fat version of Shirley Temple. She’s a sweet, even charming, little girl whom he mentions only because she ordered a carbohydrate-heavy meal and ate two packets of butter for dessert. The moral of that story? None.
At first glance, The Bitchy Waiter sure looks funny, but there’s nothing funny about anything Cardosa says. He’s maybe witty—but acerbically so, and really, there’s only so much acerbic wit I can tolerate. After a while, his vicious personality disturbed me enough to dampen my empathy. (It’s also highly possible that Cardosa’s petty actions and heartless attitude influence, at least a little bit, the way patrons treat him.) The way I see it, if a profession robs you of basic manners and kindness every time you clock in, no matter how much money you make, it isn’t worth it. Maybe The Bitchy Waiter’s most important lesson isn’t that we need to behave well in restaurants but that we shouldn’t remain in a profession that changes us for the worse.
NOTE: This review is cross-posted on The Story Graph.
By the end of The Bitchy Waiter two things are clear: Too many people treat wait staff like garbage, and author Darron Cardosa hates people. This title and sarcastic cover image (a mustachioed waiter standing beside the words “I’m really good at pretending to care!”) was a tip-off that I was in for one blunt and irreverent read, but what the cover couldn’t tell me was just how much I needed to hold onto my seat.
I do empathize with Cardosa; I was a server for a bit as a teen, and I don’t look back on that experience with any warm feelings. This seems to be the general consensus (although I did meet two people who somehow enjoyed serving). Cardosa speaks the absolute truth. What I had trouble empathizing with, however, is his pure disgust, rancor, bitterness. The man hates the food-and-beverage industry, and he absolutely loathes the people he serves. It was tough to read his words because his moral of the story—that we need to remember wait staff are people, not slaves, and always treat them with courtesy and decency—is overwhelmed by such nastiness.
Cardosa’s little book, based on his popular blog of the same name, is one part lesson (its best aspect), one part ranting, and one part arbitrary. It’s strongest when it’s genuinely helpful, such as this plainly stated tip under the heading “5 Obnoxious Things Customers Need to Stop Doing”:
Stop expecting something free for your birthday. Here’s a news flash for you: Everyone in the world was born, and everyone has a birthday. Most restaurants don’t care. It’s no great accomplishment to be birthed, and it does not merit a free round of drinks or a dessert.It’s weakest in its arbitrary filler (and there’s a lot of it), such as irrelevant anecdotes about the day his dog died and memories of his beloved grandmother. A section at the end in which he concocts fantastical stories about customers is the height of boring, and I was confused as to why these were included because by that point The Bitchy Waiter is complete without this nonsense.
The ranting, though, spoils the book. Cardosa is indeed “the bitchy waiter” because he bitches a lot. His solution to the problem of patrons who bypass “wait to be seated” signs isn’t just emotionally immature and unprofessional, it’s malicious, and Cardosa deserves to be fired on the spot for it: He ignores them after they’ve seated themselves. He calls one female patron “a fucking drama queen,” plus “Bitch Face,” “horse-faced bitch of a whore,” and “horsey bitch,” all in addition to a generous sprinkling of “bitch” and other hateful labels throughout the book. At the book’s lowest points, he pokes fun at the fat customers he’s served, referring to one child as “Super-Size Shirley” because she resembles a fat version of Shirley Temple. She’s a sweet, even charming, little girl whom he mentions only because she ordered a carbohydrate-heavy meal and ate two packets of butter for dessert. The moral of that story? None.
At first glance, The Bitchy Waiter sure looks funny, but there’s nothing funny about anything Cardosa says. He’s maybe witty—but acerbically so, and really, there’s only so much acerbic wit I can tolerate. After a while, his vicious personality disturbed me enough to dampen my empathy. (It’s also highly possible that Cardosa’s petty actions and heartless attitude influence, at least a little bit, the way patrons treat him.) The way I see it, if a profession robs you of basic manners and kindness every time you clock in, no matter how much money you make, it isn’t worth it. Maybe The Bitchy Waiter’s most important lesson isn’t that we need to behave well in restaurants but that we shouldn’t remain in a profession that changes us for the worse.
NOTE: This review is cross-posted on The Story Graph.
March 25, 2016
Umm, maybe I'm biased but I freakin' love it.
June 9, 2016
After working in a restaurant for what seems like forever, I have always said that if everyone had to work food service for 6 months, the world would be a better place. I knew I would love this book when the same thought was one of the opening sentences.
This book is hilarious and so very true for anyone who has worked in food. Of course the customer accounts aren't exact, but I've dealt with my fair share of messy children, shitty parents, drunks, and rude people. And of course, there are the few regulars who are awesome and the customers who surprise you. These anecdotes brought back so many memories.
I loved all of the lists and supplemental photos. I was ugly cackling right from the beginning and by the end of the book, I was reading some of it out loud to my husband.
I completely recommend this to anyone who has worked in a restaurant or for the brave soul who wants to know what happens behind the scenes. And just because it can never be said enough: always be nice to the people who handle your food and always always always tip.
**Huge thanks to Sterling Publishing and Edelweiss for providing the arc in exchange for an honest review**
This book is hilarious and so very true for anyone who has worked in food. Of course the customer accounts aren't exact, but I've dealt with my fair share of messy children, shitty parents, drunks, and rude people. And of course, there are the few regulars who are awesome and the customers who surprise you. These anecdotes brought back so many memories.
I loved all of the lists and supplemental photos. I was ugly cackling right from the beginning and by the end of the book, I was reading some of it out loud to my husband.
I completely recommend this to anyone who has worked in a restaurant or for the brave soul who wants to know what happens behind the scenes. And just because it can never be said enough: always be nice to the people who handle your food and always always always tip.
**Huge thanks to Sterling Publishing and Edelweiss for providing the arc in exchange for an honest review**
July 19, 2018
I wasn't familiar with Darron's blog beforehand but I've spent more than half my life in food and customer service, so I thought I would love this book. One of my favorite things to do when I was working food service was to bitch about the terrible customers with my co-workers. And anyone who has ever worked food service has some amazing stories about the ways in which customers can misbehave. That's why I was surprised to read the stories in Darron's book about being a Bitchy Waiter. They were so...mundane. Honestly, most of the things he was so bitchy about would barely register as annoyances for me in comparison to some of the other things I've encountered. Instead of being amused by his "bitchy" attitude I found it to be petty and childish. There are some things to be truly bitchy about, and most of the encounters relayed in this book did not qualify.
However, there were moments in the book that were amazing. AMAZING. And that's when Darron dropped the "bitchy waiter" character. He put out some very emotional and touching stories that were beautifully written, and touched on the reason all of us who have endured the hell of food service continue to love it despite the horrible humans we sometimes have to deal with. Because yes, quite a lot of the time your customers are pigs at a trough but every once in awhile you have a customer who touches you and reminds you why you love what you do. If Darron had done more of that he would have gotten 5 stars.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
However, there were moments in the book that were amazing. AMAZING. And that's when Darron dropped the "bitchy waiter" character. He put out some very emotional and touching stories that were beautifully written, and touched on the reason all of us who have endured the hell of food service continue to love it despite the horrible humans we sometimes have to deal with. Because yes, quite a lot of the time your customers are pigs at a trough but every once in awhile you have a customer who touches you and reminds you why you love what you do. If Darron had done more of that he would have gotten 5 stars.
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 21, 2016
Cardosa said he started working in a restaurant while in high school. After college he continued in the industry while trying to make a career as a writer. He says he has worked in all types of restaurants, from neighborhood cafes, fast food to upscale celebrity chef spots and has worked all over the country.
The book has some funny stories about lousy tippers, obnoxious diners to misbehaved children. He also includes some dos and don’ts for diners which I thought were helpful. I could not believe that people would expect the waiter to run to a store to purchase something the restaurant did not provide on its menu or was out of that day. It is hard to believe the rudeness of people and in some ways the casual disregard is worse.
Cardosa said over two million people wait tables in this country. Cardosa says “Everyone should wait tables for three months. They’d understand what it’s like to have a job that’s considered subservient. People who’ve never been in that position don’t understand how easy it is to make someone feel degraded.”
I worked as a waitress while I was in high school; it is not a job I would care to do again. I did learn how tough the business world could be. The job greatly improved my memory as we were not allowed to write the orders down; we had to memorize them. Just think if you had six tables of four people each and everyone ordered something different. I have found that skill helpful over the years.
The book is well written and a delight to read. I read this as an audiobook downloaded from Audible. Cardosa did a good job narrating the book.
The book has some funny stories about lousy tippers, obnoxious diners to misbehaved children. He also includes some dos and don’ts for diners which I thought were helpful. I could not believe that people would expect the waiter to run to a store to purchase something the restaurant did not provide on its menu or was out of that day. It is hard to believe the rudeness of people and in some ways the casual disregard is worse.
Cardosa said over two million people wait tables in this country. Cardosa says “Everyone should wait tables for three months. They’d understand what it’s like to have a job that’s considered subservient. People who’ve never been in that position don’t understand how easy it is to make someone feel degraded.”
I worked as a waitress while I was in high school; it is not a job I would care to do again. I did learn how tough the business world could be. The job greatly improved my memory as we were not allowed to write the orders down; we had to memorize them. Just think if you had six tables of four people each and everyone ordered something different. I have found that skill helpful over the years.
The book is well written and a delight to read. I read this as an audiobook downloaded from Audible. Cardosa did a good job narrating the book.
March 22, 2016
Maybe best in small doses.
October 25, 2016
A sad book. The stereotype that uneducated people are mean and try to seem at least a little bit better than the other people seems to confirm itself. Ugly remarks with a particular disgust directed at women when the meanness goes up.
February 13, 2016
The Bitchy Waiter is absolutely hilarious and brilliant! I'm honestly sad to say that I finished the book because I wanted to just keep reading more of his stories! I think I loved this book before I even started to read it! I myself used to be a server and there are so many things I related to! But this book isn't only for those who work or have worked in the food industry, no this book is also for those who have never dared to work as a server before. Which is another reason I loved it so much. It's hilarious from start to finish and also (semi) informative. A lot of people really don't understand that serving is NOT an easy job!
What got me the most was just how brutally honest Darron Cardosa was throughout the book. I honestly do feel that some things may be offensive to some people, but if they are offended, it's probably because he's describing them and how they act when dining out! But really, it
Throughout the book we also get pictures with funny captions (see below). Which I thought also gave this book a little more umph to it! I mean it apparently wasn't enough that the writing was funny, but they felt the need to throw in these pictures, which made the whole experience that much better. Maybe I am being a little bias since I used to be a server. But you can't go wrong with a fun light-hearted read! All the stories are in bite sized chunks, about 2 or 3 pages, sometimes less. Which I didn't mind at all because if I had to put the book down to do something it was easy to pick up right where I left off!
I definitely recommend putting this on your reading list and think everyone should give this book a read! Hopefully for anyone who hasn't worked in the food industry can step into the mind of a server and see what it's really like. Or for current or past servers you get a kick out of it, and think "FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!"
The copy I own is an Advance Reader Copy given to me through the Goodreads Giveaways. This book is set to be released in April of 2016.
For more reviews check out my blog at http://adiisbookshelf.blogspot.com/
What got me the most was just how brutally honest Darron Cardosa was throughout the book. I honestly do feel that some things may be offensive to some people, but if they are offended, it's probably because he's describing them and how they act when dining out! But really, it
Throughout the book we also get pictures with funny captions (see below). Which I thought also gave this book a little more umph to it! I mean it apparently wasn't enough that the writing was funny, but they felt the need to throw in these pictures, which made the whole experience that much better. Maybe I am being a little bias since I used to be a server. But you can't go wrong with a fun light-hearted read! All the stories are in bite sized chunks, about 2 or 3 pages, sometimes less. Which I didn't mind at all because if I had to put the book down to do something it was easy to pick up right where I left off!
I definitely recommend putting this on your reading list and think everyone should give this book a read! Hopefully for anyone who hasn't worked in the food industry can step into the mind of a server and see what it's really like. Or for current or past servers you get a kick out of it, and think "FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!"
The copy I own is an Advance Reader Copy given to me through the Goodreads Giveaways. This book is set to be released in April of 2016.
For more reviews check out my blog at http://adiisbookshelf.blogspot.com/
February 10, 2016
Cardosa Is An Engaging, Snarky Storyteller
There's not a lot that's new in this book. We don't learn how they built the atom bomb. We don't learn insider stuff about how hotels or hospitals or air traffic control towers work. What we get is amiable and snarky venting by an experienced, observant, funny, and actually pretty decent professional waiter.
Most of the stories - well, you can see where they're headed. These aren't tales with O. Henry twists; they're more like old-fashioned morality tales intended to instruct and educate the gormless restaurant patron. So, Cardosa vents, he explains, he illuminates, he shames, and he kvetches.
This isn't a read-it-cover-to-cover at one sitting book. It's bloggy and episodic. It's presented, appropriately enough, in little bite sized pieces, so you can sample and browse. Incidents are broken up and chapters are illustrated with cleverly captioned old-fashioned photos, which gives the book an even greater air of casual good humor.
And maybe that's it - while Cardosa is certainly snarky and can do exasperation and berating with the best of them, the book is fundamentally good humored and more or less resigned to the fact that some people can sometimes be asses. If only for the vicarious pleasure of watching our author get the upper hand in most of his encounters with most of these people the book is a worthwhile diversion.
So, a pleasant read and a happy find. ((Please note that I received a free advance will-self-destruct-in-x-days Adobe Digital copy of this book in exchange for a candid review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.)
There's not a lot that's new in this book. We don't learn how they built the atom bomb. We don't learn insider stuff about how hotels or hospitals or air traffic control towers work. What we get is amiable and snarky venting by an experienced, observant, funny, and actually pretty decent professional waiter.
Most of the stories - well, you can see where they're headed. These aren't tales with O. Henry twists; they're more like old-fashioned morality tales intended to instruct and educate the gormless restaurant patron. So, Cardosa vents, he explains, he illuminates, he shames, and he kvetches.
This isn't a read-it-cover-to-cover at one sitting book. It's bloggy and episodic. It's presented, appropriately enough, in little bite sized pieces, so you can sample and browse. Incidents are broken up and chapters are illustrated with cleverly captioned old-fashioned photos, which gives the book an even greater air of casual good humor.
And maybe that's it - while Cardosa is certainly snarky and can do exasperation and berating with the best of them, the book is fundamentally good humored and more or less resigned to the fact that some people can sometimes be asses. If only for the vicarious pleasure of watching our author get the upper hand in most of his encounters with most of these people the book is a worthwhile diversion.
So, a pleasant read and a happy find. ((Please note that I received a free advance will-self-destruct-in-x-days Adobe Digital copy of this book in exchange for a candid review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.)
March 28, 2017
If only this book was as cute, witty and entertaining as its outside cover! I bought this book hoping for a light entertaining read. But what once might have been a successful blog venture didn't translate well into book form for me. Simple common occurrences ex. children leaving messy tables, customers asking for extra pickles, a rude manager, etc. are exaggerated to the N-th degree without having much substance, resulting in a lot of filler/fluff. I was expecting humorous circumstances, not plain ones where a waiter uses his imagination to make it something it wasn't. I expected insights into the service industry but this book didn't shed light on anything a person couldn't already assume (tip 20% we get it, be polite, and yes sometimes your food does get dropped on the floor.) In the end, still not convinced this person enjoys their job - it felt like one long complaining venting session.
May 23, 2016
This book is a compilation of Darron Cardosa's posts from his blog. The seven chapters revolve around his experiences as a waiter in New York City for the past twenty years. His customers run the gamut from the good to the bad to the ugly. He doesn't have much tolerance for the uneducated and children which makes for snarky comments. A must-read for everyone who's done a stint or fifty as "wait staff". You never forget the non-tippers in your past...
April 25, 2016
this book was okay, but I'm glad I borrowed it from the library. some restaurant patrons are truly horrible, but the tone of this book didn't change much throughout. it was a litany of complaints that made me wonder why the author chose to stay in a profession where he had to interact with people for his livelihood.
April 30, 2016
Hilarious! I started and finished this book in the same night. I just couldn't put it down. I laughed so hard that I cried... some stories might even bring about a few tears for other reasons.
June 13, 2016
Maybe if you read it, it's funnier, but I listened to this as the audiobook and hearing what he writes is sometimes so mean, I had no choice but to cringe.
April 10, 2016
"I'd be happy to stop what I'm doing and take a picture of you with your food." " Your (screaming) child is so adorable!" Do you want to know what your server is really thinking behind that bright smile? Wonder no more, because Darron Cardosa, a.k.a. The Bitchy Waiter, just can’t wait to give you the hilarious details. Cardosa, a career waiter, has written The Bitchy Waiter blog since 2008 and has appeared on TV and in cabarets spreading the gospel of overworked and underpaid servers everywhere. From his list of things never to say (Will you taste this first?), to clues as to what they really mean (When they say the plate is hot, it's hot!), you'll nod (and cringe) with recognition. Profane and side-splittingly funny, this book ensures you'll never look at your servers the same again!
March 7, 2016
I had not read this blog before but I was a server so I thought I'd give this book a chance. Having been a blog, it took some getting used to reading. Almost 30 pages in, I was seriously considering DNF'ing this book. It was just too choppy. But I'm glad that I stuck it out. It was a good book. I could have done without the fiction section but I have definitely had those afternoons where no one comes in and your mind wanders.
If you've been a server, you'll enjoy this book. If you've never been a server, welcome to the world of food service.
If you've been a server, you'll enjoy this book. If you've never been a server, welcome to the world of food service.
November 11, 2017
I won this in a first reads giveaway. It was laugh out loud funny. I have never worked in the food service industry, but can relate since I've worked in customer service since I got my first job at a movie theatre when I was 16. I really enjoyed this book and recommend it to anyone who works in customer service. It was fantastic!
January 2, 2018
Amusing, a quick read.
January 25, 2021
If you know me personally, then you know that I am an alumna of Food and Beverage. My F&B experience comes exclusively from waitressing at the fancy retirement homes in my home and college towns, but I imagine my experiences are pretty much the same aside from the fact that I was not allowed to receive tips. I shelved this to be read way back in 2018 when I had just freshly quit the waitressing biz and started my new 'big girl' job working 8-5 M-F in an office. It was exhilarating. I hadn't had a weekend where I wasn't delivering ketchup with a fake smile on my face in years. My feet hurt, my back hurt, and I pretty much always assumed the worst in people because I had to serve the worst people. I blame waitressing for making me an old woman.
That being said, sometimes I do miss it. I've had two office jobs since I turned in my apron and, while both of the teams I've worked with have always been great to work with, there is just something unique about working with waiters and line cooks. There's a particular sense of camaraderie that you just don't see in any other job. The Bitchy Waiter helped me relive some of those stressful, fun, and downright bizarre stories without actually sacrificing my sanity and diving back into the world of food service.
Ok, what happens? Basically this is a printed version of Cardosa's blog of the same name. He has been in the food service business far longer than I would ever want to be and he has collected some pretty hilarious stories in that time span. Honestly I'm just glad I'm not the only one who immediately turned into a petty bitch once a customer got a little snippy with me. I found myself reading parts of these stories to my husband, but he just didn't find them as funny. I suppose you lose your mind a little bit when you have to deal with all the unwashed masses.
One of the things I found most endearing about Bitchy Waiter was the collection of softer stories sprinkled throughout. In all jobs it can be sometimes difficult to find and share the good stories because the bad ones just make for better entertainment, but Cardosa does a great job showing us he's much more than a cynical waiter tired of everyone's bullshit. In one of my favorite softer stories, Cardosa describes serving an older couple. The couple was sweet - the old man taking great care with his wife who was obviously suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's. Cardosa describes how she was constantly smiling and he realized he wanted to do everything in his power to ensure she kept smiling. He is gentle in his interactions with her as he realizes she's not sure if she's supposed to know him. The whole meal unfolds beautifully and Cardosa ends the retelling by saying he hopes she never loses her smile. With my experience working in retirement homes, that story spoke to me pretty much directly. I worked at two different retirement homes because I loved helping people just like Cardosa loved helping that woman. Serving people like that by no means is going to change the world, but it might change someone's day.
On top of that Cardosa sprinkles in various 'Top 10s' that either had me rolling or had me incredibly nostalgic. Some of my favorites include:
1. Stop saying, "it was horrible" and "I hated it." - You can imagine how many old men fed me this dad joke and I just had to smile and laugh like it was the funniest damn thing I'd heard.
2. Stop fighting over the check - I still get anxious thinking about all the family feuds I witnessed just because I brought over one check
3. Learn the names of the back-of-house crew and be nice to them - They are lifesavers, excellent drinking buddies, and good people to bitch to when that one lady in your section just keeps telling you you're doing your job wrong.
4. You won't go into a restaurant unless it is open for at least one more hour - Once my family decided to drop in on a restaurant about an hour before closing, which would have been fine if it was just three of us or something, but we had at least nine people and I cringed the entire evening as dinner turned to drinks and dessert.
5. Children should never leave cereal all over the damn place - My personal cereal was the unholy amounts of shredded cheese I had to vacuum every Sunday after a particular family finished eating. Clean up required several waiters and we had to physically move the table aside to properly clean everything.
(Yes, that is me, and yes, I am thinking how long I have to survive until my shift is over.)
I will admit, sometimes Cardosa's stories were a little too bitchy for my taste. He'd complain about the pickiness of one particular customer or one snarky comment of another and I just wouldn't get the frustration. However, I am sure if 2017 Emma had read this book she would have agreed with everything written. I'm aware that F&B and I have been separated for four years so my wounds have healed, but back then was a completely different story.
Long Story Short:
- If you are or were a waiter at any point in your life you should read this book
- Don't forget to tip your waiter - at least 20% you heathens
- I think food service is why I have such a love/hate relationship with children
My Rating: 3/5
The Literary Something | Bookstagram
July 25, 2024
I've never been a server but I did spend almost a year as a bartender in a small motel bar in a small town in my early twenties where I served drinks to customers. Most of my jobs have been in the corporate world where I was dealing with clients so a lot of the skills and interactions can be transferrable.
I like humorous books so this one caught my eye. It was funny at times it was also mean and snarky at times too ... I imagine the author intentionally push it over the top in some instances and exaggerated in an attempt to get laughs. I found it a bit uneven ... some of the writing was interesting and funny whereas other times it was kind of boring which I skipped over (like his fiction towards the end).
I had supper with friends last night and our server, Josh, was great. I told him I was reading this book and some of the things the author said annoyed servers ... like saying the server's name often (I do this as I'm friendly and appreciative), introducing yourself to the server (according to the author, the server could care less), getting there early and not starting until all your friends are there (so hogging a table so there's not a frequent turnaround), etc. It was interesting to get Josh's perspective and we had a fun discussion.
I tend to eat out a fair bit and encounter all sorts of servers. I'm not there to be their new BFF but it's amazing the amount of servers who could care less about being "present".
Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2024/07...
I like humorous books so this one caught my eye. It was funny at times it was also mean and snarky at times too ... I imagine the author intentionally push it over the top in some instances and exaggerated in an attempt to get laughs. I found it a bit uneven ... some of the writing was interesting and funny whereas other times it was kind of boring which I skipped over (like his fiction towards the end).
I had supper with friends last night and our server, Josh, was great. I told him I was reading this book and some of the things the author said annoyed servers ... like saying the server's name often (I do this as I'm friendly and appreciative), introducing yourself to the server (according to the author, the server could care less), getting there early and not starting until all your friends are there (so hogging a table so there's not a frequent turnaround), etc. It was interesting to get Josh's perspective and we had a fun discussion.
I tend to eat out a fair bit and encounter all sorts of servers. I'm not there to be their new BFF but it's amazing the amount of servers who could care less about being "present".
Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2024/07...
January 13, 2025
I was laughing out loud throughout this entire read. IT WAS SO RELATABLE!!!! Darron captures the feeling of restaurants so perfectly. A servers life is a wild fucking ride. I starting working in food service at 13 years old as an under the table busser and finally walked away at 26. I loved it, I hated it, I miss it but I still have nightmares that I forgot to great a table or put the wrong food order in and I wake up remembering why I stopped. I always used to say that a prerequisite for being allowed to eat at a restaurant should be that you've worked in one and I feel like Darron seconds that notion (although it was probably his first but I read it much later) and honestly, I'm sure every restaurant employee feels this way! While I think all restaurant employees would eat this book up and honestly love it, I don't think non-servers will read it the same way, if at all and that makes me mad bc customers could learn a lot from it. Maybe even that they are NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!
This book brought back my nightmares though hahaha!
This book brought back my nightmares though hahaha!
November 12, 2017
Cardosa keeps mentioning that he loves being a waiter but the stuff he's complaining about definitely seems like pretty mundane shit that anyone would expect when getting into the industry.
I've have never had job as a server and I have always felt incredibly lucky to have avoided it. I totally agree that it's a thankless job. But after reading this, I think my public library experience has prepared me to run circles around this guy. Babies are annoying? Duh. People are rude and don't value your job? Said everyone who has worked with the public ever.
Kitchen Confidential, it ain't.
I guess what I'm saying is that this isn't a bad book, and maybe other servers would find it amusing, but if you've ever been in a restaurant before, you won't find anything unexpected here.
I've have never had job as a server and I have always felt incredibly lucky to have avoided it. I totally agree that it's a thankless job. But after reading this, I think my public library experience has prepared me to run circles around this guy. Babies are annoying? Duh. People are rude and don't value your job? Said everyone who has worked with the public ever.
Kitchen Confidential, it ain't.
I guess what I'm saying is that this isn't a bad book, and maybe other servers would find it amusing, but if you've ever been in a restaurant before, you won't find anything unexpected here.
September 27, 2023
The world would be better if everyone worked as a waiter for one month!
That is the mantra Darron Cardosa gives throughout the entire book. I absolutely love his attitude toward the service industry. It's made of both respect and annoyance that it exists. Darron gave a great catty recollection of his time as a server in New York and Texas (his home state), and it reminded me of Debra Ginsberg's memoir "Waiting". Once again I feel enlightened by a recollection from the perspective of a server. I have never waited tables myself, so now I feel guilty that I never did. I feel like I missed out on a great opportunity to learn a massive series of life lessons. Funny enough, Darron doesn't glamorize nor does he demonize the profession. Overall I had a fun time with this work!
That is the mantra Darron Cardosa gives throughout the entire book. I absolutely love his attitude toward the service industry. It's made of both respect and annoyance that it exists. Darron gave a great catty recollection of his time as a server in New York and Texas (his home state), and it reminded me of Debra Ginsberg's memoir "Waiting". Once again I feel enlightened by a recollection from the perspective of a server. I have never waited tables myself, so now I feel guilty that I never did. I feel like I missed out on a great opportunity to learn a massive series of life lessons. Funny enough, Darron doesn't glamorize nor does he demonize the profession. Overall I had a fun time with this work!
July 1, 2020
Absolutely hilarious yet touching. First book that's ever made me laugh out loud in a while. A must read for everyone in the food service industry!!! If you know anyone who works in a restaurant who complains about it all the time but won't quit, this book hits the nail on the head as to why this is a profession the employees love to hate. As a bartender myself, I felt this book on spiritual level! Best Christmas gift I've received ❤ This book has some shitty reviews but if you waited tables for a while or at any point in your life this book will resonate with you.
October 3, 2020
My eyes feel betrayed from page 1. Tried to find good humor between the lines but put bluntly, I felt offended as a costumer of the bookshop which actually sells this to their clients.
The author's style of writing and his attitude are below anything. I lasted until he began the story with the "horse faced" lady. Big fat no!
"No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Oh mamma mia, mamma mia. Mamma mia, let me go!" - Freddie Mercury
The author's style of writing and his attitude are below anything. I lasted until he began the story with the "horse faced" lady. Big fat no!
"No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Oh mamma mia, mamma mia. Mamma mia, let me go!" - Freddie Mercury
July 27, 2018
A very funny, quick read. As someone who worked in customer service for years, I can definitely relate to the author’s experiences of dealing with rude, entitled assholes and trying to resist the urge to tell them off to keep your job. This book kept me laughing all the way through. I definitely recommend it for anyone looking for an easy fast read.
November 4, 2018
Excuse the language but this was a funny book with many laugh out loud moments. I loved his anecdotes, observations, and recommendations. However, his fictional anecdotes were boring. Nursing and hospitality work are similar and I could relate on a lot of levels!
April 12, 2019
If you’re just looking for fun behind-the-scenes stories about restaurants and waiter experiences, you’ll be happy. This isn’t really a memoir or an examination of restaurant culture, it’s literally just stories. But I like that sort of thing, so I was happy with it.
October 16, 2023
Mildly amusing anecdotes from waitstaff about their experiences and gripes. Also a bit sad because too many people are inconsiderate of their waitstaff. The author has a blog called The Bitchy Waiter, hence the title of the book. Can be read in a day.
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