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Beyond the Tiger Mom: East-West Parenting for the Global Age
How do Asian parents prime their children for success from a young age by encouraging them to achieve academic excellence? Why do Asian kids do so well in math and science? What is the difference between an Asian upbringing and a Western one?
These are just a few of the fascinating questions posed and discussed in Beyond the Tiger Mom , a captivating new book by educator, author, and mother, Maya Thiagarajan. In this research-backed guide, she examines each of the "tiger mother" stereotypes and goes beneath the surface to discover what happens in Asian parenting households. How do Asian parents think about childhood, family, and education and what can Western parents learn from them? And what benefits does a traditional Western upbringing have that Asian parents, too, may want to consider?
Some of the takeaways from this parenting book Each chapter offers interviews with hundreds of Asian parents and kids and ends with a "How To" section of specific tips for Asian and Western parents both to aid childhood education and development inside and outside the classroom. Woven into this narrative are her reflections on teaching and parenting in locations that span the East and West.
In this book, Thiagarajan synthesizes an extensive body of research on child education and Asian parenting both to provide accessible and practical guidelines for parents.
These are just a few of the fascinating questions posed and discussed in Beyond the Tiger Mom , a captivating new book by educator, author, and mother, Maya Thiagarajan. In this research-backed guide, she examines each of the "tiger mother" stereotypes and goes beneath the surface to discover what happens in Asian parenting households. How do Asian parents think about childhood, family, and education and what can Western parents learn from them? And what benefits does a traditional Western upbringing have that Asian parents, too, may want to consider?
Some of the takeaways from this parenting book Each chapter offers interviews with hundreds of Asian parents and kids and ends with a "How To" section of specific tips for Asian and Western parents both to aid childhood education and development inside and outside the classroom. Woven into this narrative are her reflections on teaching and parenting in locations that span the East and West.
In this book, Thiagarajan synthesizes an extensive body of research on child education and Asian parenting both to provide accessible and practical guidelines for parents.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published February 23, 2016
58 people are currently reading
800 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
October 16, 2016
Some years ago, I read, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” and was – like many readers – fascinated by the confrontational book. Even at the time, I felt that some of what that book said was useful, even if that parenting style would never be for me. However, some years on, we are given this book by author, Maya Thiagarajan. Thiagarajan was born in India, before moving to the United States, where she lived and taught, before relocating, with her young family, to Singapore. She is perfectly placed to write this book, as he has great experience of both Western and Eastern forms of education – both as a parent and a teacher. Although, to be fair to her, she is keen to stress that her book is not (cannot) ever be truly representational. She makes us aware of the differences in the USA first; where she taught in both poorly performing public schools and much better funded private schools. In Singapore, she explains that most of the parents she deals with are middle or upper class and that Asia is obviously – like the USA – not a level playing ground in educational terms. Still, even with these provisos, this is a really interesting, eye opening and balanced read.
One of the things I really enjoyed about this book was that Maya Thiagarajan is not confrontational, but much more open minded and questioning. She is happy to admit her own parenting concerns, conflicts and struggles, as well as her issues as a teacher. It is obvious that she feels more comfortable in Asia and with Asian parenting styles, but she is not negative about the West and is keen to learn from, and take, aspects of each which are useful. Surely, this is how we should all parent? To take what is best from each culture and learn from each other – admitting our faults and weaknesses and experimenting to find what works for us and our children?
Without doubt, the most obvious difference that the author mentions between Asian and Western parenting educational concerns, is the Asian obsession with maths and science. She admits that Asian parents feel more comfortable with obviously measurable results, but suggests that basics should be taught with some amount of memorisation and recall techniques – rote learning if you like. Things like times tables or number bonds do need to be instantly recalled and maths foundations are important. In the West, the author suggests we are more language rich and suggests this is obviously important – there is a strong correlation between reading, intelligence and academic success. However, she also stresses that most children’s storybooks, published throughout the world, are published in English and that the fact that Western children’s literature dominates, does make many children’s books less relevant to children in different countries.
She is also, despite obviously loving Singapore, not completely positive about her new home. She tells of a beautiful country, full of public parks, playgrounds and pools, but where local children are rarely spotted - those splashing in the pools or playing in the playgrounds are mainly Western expat children. Local children have a packed after-school schedule of sports, activities and tuition which stresses them and is often a financial strain on their parents. Yet parents are obviously doing their best to help their children in a very competitive educational system. Parents feel they are giving their children better opportunities, but if children are dyslexic, for example, and cannot cope with the rigorous educational demands made on them, both the parents and children feel the stigma of not succeeding. Indeed, some parents who move away from Singapore, admit they felt relief at leaving a place where other parents talk only of tutors, exams and grades, while there are high suicide rates due to the intense pressure and competition.
This is not to say that it is only the Eastern methods that are criticised. Thiagarajan also criticises Western methods for being too positive, for not working hard enough and for making excuses. She does say that the West encourages more creativity, fosters a love of literature that she really feels is important and she also suggests that play, and outdoor play in particular, are important. There are truly scary statistics about eye problems in Singapore which are linked to children being indoors, and on screens, for far too long.
Despite the authors opinions, and indeed, your own, this is a really interesting, informative and fascinating read. I really enjoyed this comparison between the educational methods of East and West and I have certainly taken some interesting ideas from reading this. This is not just about memorising facts compared to a deeper understanding of the meaning of information – it is about making up our own minds about what is best for us as parents, and our children, and doing the best for them as parents and educators. I highly recommend this to all parents and teachers. I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
One of the things I really enjoyed about this book was that Maya Thiagarajan is not confrontational, but much more open minded and questioning. She is happy to admit her own parenting concerns, conflicts and struggles, as well as her issues as a teacher. It is obvious that she feels more comfortable in Asia and with Asian parenting styles, but she is not negative about the West and is keen to learn from, and take, aspects of each which are useful. Surely, this is how we should all parent? To take what is best from each culture and learn from each other – admitting our faults and weaknesses and experimenting to find what works for us and our children?
Without doubt, the most obvious difference that the author mentions between Asian and Western parenting educational concerns, is the Asian obsession with maths and science. She admits that Asian parents feel more comfortable with obviously measurable results, but suggests that basics should be taught with some amount of memorisation and recall techniques – rote learning if you like. Things like times tables or number bonds do need to be instantly recalled and maths foundations are important. In the West, the author suggests we are more language rich and suggests this is obviously important – there is a strong correlation between reading, intelligence and academic success. However, she also stresses that most children’s storybooks, published throughout the world, are published in English and that the fact that Western children’s literature dominates, does make many children’s books less relevant to children in different countries.
She is also, despite obviously loving Singapore, not completely positive about her new home. She tells of a beautiful country, full of public parks, playgrounds and pools, but where local children are rarely spotted - those splashing in the pools or playing in the playgrounds are mainly Western expat children. Local children have a packed after-school schedule of sports, activities and tuition which stresses them and is often a financial strain on their parents. Yet parents are obviously doing their best to help their children in a very competitive educational system. Parents feel they are giving their children better opportunities, but if children are dyslexic, for example, and cannot cope with the rigorous educational demands made on them, both the parents and children feel the stigma of not succeeding. Indeed, some parents who move away from Singapore, admit they felt relief at leaving a place where other parents talk only of tutors, exams and grades, while there are high suicide rates due to the intense pressure and competition.
This is not to say that it is only the Eastern methods that are criticised. Thiagarajan also criticises Western methods for being too positive, for not working hard enough and for making excuses. She does say that the West encourages more creativity, fosters a love of literature that she really feels is important and she also suggests that play, and outdoor play in particular, are important. There are truly scary statistics about eye problems in Singapore which are linked to children being indoors, and on screens, for far too long.
Despite the authors opinions, and indeed, your own, this is a really interesting, informative and fascinating read. I really enjoyed this comparison between the educational methods of East and West and I have certainly taken some interesting ideas from reading this. This is not just about memorising facts compared to a deeper understanding of the meaning of information – it is about making up our own minds about what is best for us as parents, and our children, and doing the best for them as parents and educators. I highly recommend this to all parents and teachers. I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
Read
October 16, 2016Some years ago, I read, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” and was – like many readers – fascinated by the confrontational book. Even at the time, I felt that some of what that book said was useful, even if that parenting style would never be for me. However, some years on, we are given this book by author, Maya Thiagarajan. Thiagarajan was born in India, before moving to the United States, where she lived and taught, before relocating, with her young family, to Singapore. She is perfectly placed to write this book, as he has great experience of both Western and Eastern forms of education – both as a parent and a teacher. Although, to be fair to her, she is keen to stress that her book is not (cannot) ever be truly representational. She makes us aware of the differences in the USA first; where she taught in both poorly performing public schools and much better funded private schools. In Singapore, she explains that most of the parents she deals with are middle or upper class and that Asia is obviously – like the USA – not a level playing ground in educational terms. Still, even with these provisos, this is a really interesting, eye opening and balanced read.
One of the things I really enjoyed about this book was that Maya Thiagarajan is not confrontational, but much more open minded and questioning. She is happy to admit her own parenting concerns, conflicts and struggles, as well as her issues as a teacher. It is obvious that she feels more comfortable in Asia and with Asian parenting styles, but she is not negative about the West and is keen to learn from, and take, aspects of each which are useful. Surely, this is how we should all parent? To take what is best from each culture and learn from each other – admitting our faults and weaknesses and experimenting to find what works for us and our children?
Without doubt, the most obvious difference that the author mentions between Asian and Western parenting educational concerns, is the Asian obsession with maths and science. She admits that Asian parents feel more comfortable with obviously measurable results, but suggests that basics should be taught with some amount of memorisation and recall techniques – rote learning if you like. Things like times tables or number bonds do need to be instantly recalled and maths foundations are important. In the West, the author suggests we are more language rich and suggests this is obviously important – there is a strong correlation between reading, intelligence and academic success. However, she also stresses that most children’s storybooks, published throughout the world, are published in English and that the fact that Western children’s literature dominates, does make many children’s books less relevant to children in different countries.
She is also, despite obviously loving Singapore, not completely positive about her new home. She tells of a beautiful country, full of public parks, playgrounds and pools, but where local children are rarely spotted - those splashing in the pools or playing in the playgrounds are mainly Western expat children. Local children have a packed after-school schedule of sports, activities and tuition which stresses them and is often a financial strain on their parents. Yet parents are obviously doing their best to help their children in a very competitive educational system. Parents feel they are giving their children better opportunities, but if children are dyslexic, for example, and cannot cope with the rigorous educational demands made on them, both the parents and children feel the stigma of not succeeding. Indeed, some parents who move away from Singapore, admit they felt relief at leaving a place where other parents talk only of tutors, exams and grades, while there are high suicide rates due to the intense pressure and competition.
This is not to say that it is only the Eastern methods that are criticised. Thiagarajan also criticises Western methods for being too positive, for not working hard enough and for making excuses. She does say that the West encourages more creativity, fosters a love of literature that she really feels is important and she also suggests that play, and outdoor play in particular, are important. There are truly scary statistics about eye problems in Singapore which are linked to children being indoors, and on screens, for far too long.
Despite the authors opinions, and indeed, your own, this is a really interesting, informative and fascinating read. I really enjoyed this comparison between the educational methods of East and West and I have certainly taken some interesting ideas from reading this. This is not just about memorising facts compared to a deeper understanding of the meaning of information – it is about making up our own minds about what is best for us as parents, and our children, and doing the best for them as parents and educators. I highly recommend this to all parents and teachers. I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
One of the things I really enjoyed about this book was that Maya Thiagarajan is not confrontational, but much more open minded and questioning. She is happy to admit her own parenting concerns, conflicts and struggles, as well as her issues as a teacher. It is obvious that she feels more comfortable in Asia and with Asian parenting styles, but she is not negative about the West and is keen to learn from, and take, aspects of each which are useful. Surely, this is how we should all parent? To take what is best from each culture and learn from each other – admitting our faults and weaknesses and experimenting to find what works for us and our children?
Without doubt, the most obvious difference that the author mentions between Asian and Western parenting educational concerns, is the Asian obsession with maths and science. She admits that Asian parents feel more comfortable with obviously measurable results, but suggests that basics should be taught with some amount of memorisation and recall techniques – rote learning if you like. Things like times tables or number bonds do need to be instantly recalled and maths foundations are important. In the West, the author suggests we are more language rich and suggests this is obviously important – there is a strong correlation between reading, intelligence and academic success. However, she also stresses that most children’s storybooks, published throughout the world, are published in English and that the fact that Western children’s literature dominates, does make many children’s books less relevant to children in different countries.
She is also, despite obviously loving Singapore, not completely positive about her new home. She tells of a beautiful country, full of public parks, playgrounds and pools, but where local children are rarely spotted - those splashing in the pools or playing in the playgrounds are mainly Western expat children. Local children have a packed after-school schedule of sports, activities and tuition which stresses them and is often a financial strain on their parents. Yet parents are obviously doing their best to help their children in a very competitive educational system. Parents feel they are giving their children better opportunities, but if children are dyslexic, for example, and cannot cope with the rigorous educational demands made on them, both the parents and children feel the stigma of not succeeding. Indeed, some parents who move away from Singapore, admit they felt relief at leaving a place where other parents talk only of tutors, exams and grades, while there are high suicide rates due to the intense pressure and competition.
This is not to say that it is only the Eastern methods that are criticised. Thiagarajan also criticises Western methods for being too positive, for not working hard enough and for making excuses. She does say that the West encourages more creativity, fosters a love of literature that she really feels is important and she also suggests that play, and outdoor play in particular, are important. There are truly scary statistics about eye problems in Singapore which are linked to children being indoors, and on screens, for far too long.
Despite the authors opinions, and indeed, your own, this is a really interesting, informative and fascinating read. I really enjoyed this comparison between the educational methods of East and West and I have certainly taken some interesting ideas from reading this. This is not just about memorising facts compared to a deeper understanding of the meaning of information – it is about making up our own minds about what is best for us as parents, and our children, and doing the best for them as parents and educators. I highly recommend this to all parents and teachers. I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
April 27, 2016
Maya Thiagarajan is uniquely qualified to write this book. She grew up in India with Indian and American parents. She completed her education in the US at Middlebury College and Harvard University after which she taught in schools that served impoverished and elite American students. As a parent, she moved to Singapore and taught there as well. She shares her insight on eastern and western approaches to education.
The first two chapters dealing with reading and math show how both the Asian parents and schools favor math. Parents say the high paying jobs are in “STEM” and note that in math, where answers are clear, kids (and adults) can be evaluated without favoritism. In the US, reading is valued and this is seen in the variety of books for kids, celebrity read a-louds, DEAR (drop everything and read) programs, school libraries and the ever-popular bedtime story. Kids are asked at an early age, which books they like. Asian students are rarely asked their opinion.
The later chapters deal with memorization, play, and the messages embedded in culture and family life. Each chapter is followed by helpful suggestions for raising and educating kids.
Throughout the book, the rigor of the Asian testing system and the openness of the western system are contrasted. While stressful for students and their parents, Asians feel the test system gives their children a chance; otherwise, university seats would go to those with connections. These tests dominate childhood and teen years with parents spending small fortunes on tutors and reducing play time to minutes a day.
In the west, universities look at a host of experiences and qualities which de-emphasizes any one test. Thiagarajan shows how American family and school focus on developing the child as an individual making the Asian testing model at odds with American culture. She also shows how western teachers in building creativity and self-esteem are sacrificing honest appraisal and discipline. Thaigarajan shows that Asian tests do get results, and those in the lower socio-economic groups learn more with this system than those in the US learn with its system.
While this is a good overview, two areas of interest to me were not covered: does the need for rote memorization of characters effect reading and the appreciation of its role in education and the actual stakes involved in these tests i.e. what is the payoff for stressing out an 8 year old and robbing kids of their childhoods?
As to rote learning, Thiagarajan shows how the words for numbers in the Chinese language demonstrate the concepts of math and may be a factor in math achievement but says nothing on the larger issue of learning characters. Characters have become so far divorced from the words they represent that they must be memorized and the number of characters a student needs to memorize is staggering. This surely must overwhelm the curriculum where other forms of instruction could be promoting imagination and creativity as well as deter children, who later become parents, from what we enjoy as recreational reading.
Regarding parental buy-in into the testing system, it would be good to know what the parents are actually seeking for their kids. For instance, what are the odds of passing and failing and what happens to those who fail? Are they preparing their kids for a one day test for which only 10% will get any seat in college, or is this about competing for limited seats in prestigious universities? What happens if the student doesn’t make it? What are the other career and educational options? They can’t all be “cleaners” as suggested by one tiger parent. Do students in international schools escape these tests?
This is a brief overview from an informed educator and parent who has wide experience in both systems.
March 19, 2016
When was the last time you read a book about education and parenting that really had you thinking and making changes to the way you do things in your home? Beyond The Tiger Mom: East-West Parenting for the Global Age has had this affect on me!
A lot of this book compares the East and the West. Not in a negative way, but ways in which parents and schools raise their children and their beliefs in how to create a successful child and society. She then gathers the best ideas from both cultures and gives us actionable ways in which we can implement these into our own parenting styles and home environments so that our children can have the best of both worlds.
For all my thoughts on this must-read book, head over to my blog post: http://www.castleviewacademy.com/beyo...
A lot of this book compares the East and the West. Not in a negative way, but ways in which parents and schools raise their children and their beliefs in how to create a successful child and society. She then gathers the best ideas from both cultures and gives us actionable ways in which we can implement these into our own parenting styles and home environments so that our children can have the best of both worlds.
For all my thoughts on this must-read book, head over to my blog post: http://www.castleviewacademy.com/beyo...
Read
February 26, 2016I’ve always seen myself as a Tiger dad. I know saying that has a lot of negative connotations. But I have big dreams for my toddler. First, he’s going to get into Harvard, then either make the NBA or play Major League Baseball, whichever pays him more. After a hall of fame career, he’ll transition into politics where he’ll be the first Asian American president.
That’s why when the book “Beyond the Tiger Mom” by Maya Thiagarajan was up for review, I jumped at the chance. I figured it’d be good for me to learn some tricks to help my toddler to do all that I have planned for him.
Read the rest of my review over at 8Asians
http://www.8asians.com/2016/02/23/8bo...
That’s why when the book “Beyond the Tiger Mom” by Maya Thiagarajan was up for review, I jumped at the chance. I figured it’d be good for me to learn some tricks to help my toddler to do all that I have planned for him.
Read the rest of my review over at 8Asians
http://www.8asians.com/2016/02/23/8bo...
April 23, 2023
As a parent who was born and raised in Turkey, lived in the US for almost 10 years and had a baby there, I found this qualitative evaluation of parenting styles accurate. I learned new things, particularly about East, refreshed my memories about West and updated myself around the current debates.
March 14, 2019
I havent been able to stop talking and thinking about this book. I appreciated this book's studies and comparisons much more than Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Will continue to refer to this
February 26, 2025
250222: Reread this booking, this time it sparked a lot of questions:
- What is your personal philosophy / mission statement towards child-raising?
- Is it to have you child enjoy childhood?
- Or to have your child smarter and faster than the rest, taking into account the "Matthew Effect"?
- English
- Is English the language of love and emotions for your kids?
- Or are they learning English to ace exams and stay ahead?
- Independence:
- Should we encourage our kids to do everything by themselves?
- Or do everything for them so that they are best prepared to focus on more important things like study?
- What should the focus be for the first 10 years?
- Should it be Math which made perfect through practice?
- Or Reading which is inherently subjective with no correct answer?
- Should it be building focus through repetitive drills?
- Or encouraging creativity which inherently implies accommodating short-attention spans?
- What is the purpose of education?
- To build a child ready to live a fulfilling life?
- Or to fuel cutthroat competitions for big multi-national companies? Is this why we "invest" in education, and want our child's efforts to "pay off?"
- Are we so anxious about the future that we cannot enjoy our children's childhood?
230111
Very grateful for this book, in tying together conflicting Western and Asian approaches to parenting. Scott Fitzgerald is quoted as saying: "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." But I am not so sure this is a sign of intelligence as it is self-imposed anxiety : )
- Math
- Sustained drilling leads to the ability to focus and concentrate > Tangrams, Tetris, Minecraft
- Reading
- Comics in foundational stories with traditional non-Western values (in an era where non-Western children are over-exposed to and affected by Western values through an overly rich English book and Hollywood media)
- Memorization
- "You cant connect the dots without knowing the dots"
- "knowledge is a pre-requisite to imagination"
- Busy Schedules
- Buddhism / Taoism / Confucianism all advocate the "middle road"
- "Play is the work of childhood"
- Failures
- Excellence in any field is a function of sustained effort over time
- Metaphors
- What is the purpose of education?
- For MNC's to have a steady supply of workers? To fuel more global cut-throat competition?
- What happened to childhood as a time of fleeting beauty?
- Are we so anxious that we can no longer enjoy our children's childhood?
- Technology
- Has blurred the lines between childhood and adulthood; the internet allows for instant access to the horrors and evils of adulthood along with information and knowledge, and it is no coincidence that Steve Jobs named his company Apple, the forbidden fruit...
- What is your personal philosophy / mission statement towards child-raising?
- Is it to have you child enjoy childhood?
- Or to have your child smarter and faster than the rest, taking into account the "Matthew Effect"?
- English
- Is English the language of love and emotions for your kids?
- Or are they learning English to ace exams and stay ahead?
- Independence:
- Should we encourage our kids to do everything by themselves?
- Or do everything for them so that they are best prepared to focus on more important things like study?
- What should the focus be for the first 10 years?
- Should it be Math which made perfect through practice?
- Or Reading which is inherently subjective with no correct answer?
- Should it be building focus through repetitive drills?
- Or encouraging creativity which inherently implies accommodating short-attention spans?
- What is the purpose of education?
- To build a child ready to live a fulfilling life?
- Or to fuel cutthroat competitions for big multi-national companies? Is this why we "invest" in education, and want our child's efforts to "pay off?"
- Are we so anxious about the future that we cannot enjoy our children's childhood?
230111
Very grateful for this book, in tying together conflicting Western and Asian approaches to parenting. Scott Fitzgerald is quoted as saying: "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." But I am not so sure this is a sign of intelligence as it is self-imposed anxiety : )
- Math
- Sustained drilling leads to the ability to focus and concentrate > Tangrams, Tetris, Minecraft
- Reading
- Comics in foundational stories with traditional non-Western values (in an era where non-Western children are over-exposed to and affected by Western values through an overly rich English book and Hollywood media)
- Memorization
- "You cant connect the dots without knowing the dots"
- "knowledge is a pre-requisite to imagination"
- Busy Schedules
- Buddhism / Taoism / Confucianism all advocate the "middle road"
- "Play is the work of childhood"
- Failures
- Excellence in any field is a function of sustained effort over time
- Metaphors
- What is the purpose of education?
- For MNC's to have a steady supply of workers? To fuel more global cut-throat competition?
- What happened to childhood as a time of fleeting beauty?
- Are we so anxious that we can no longer enjoy our children's childhood?
- Technology
- Has blurred the lines between childhood and adulthood; the internet allows for instant access to the horrors and evils of adulthood along with information and knowledge, and it is no coincidence that Steve Jobs named his company Apple, the forbidden fruit...
October 20, 2016
This book really made me think about how I want to educate my daughter. I like how the author includes ideas at the end of each chapter for supplementing the style of education you naturally lean towards (Eastern or Western).
November 3, 2016
I loved this--well-written, well-researched. Gave me lots of good ideas for parenting. I bought a Japanese abacus after reading this.
March 25, 2025
This is an interesting comparison of educational and parenting values between the US and Singapore. Thiagarajan outlines many major differences between the two, and my copy of the book is loaded with dog ears and highlights.
The author is overall more sympathetic to Singaporean parenting styles, highlighting things such as:
* Emphasis on Math literacy by age 10, driven by parental involvement including extracurricular work
* Focus on building regular study habits & routines
* No need to make learning “fun” - it’s not a party. Once kids develop proficiency, the subject becomes meaningful and fulfilling on its own. This is also how self-esteem is built.
* Focus on interdependence vs independence, and connections with larger family networks
* Giving direct feedback and not sugar coating it; allowing kids to fail (in a controlled environment) and not protecting them from the consequences
That said, she writes a balanced perspective and highlights a number of areas where she prefers US parenting:
* Emphasis on reading for pleasure
* Kids are less over-scheduled
* Time spent outside
The author also closes by asking the reader what the purpose of education is. I found this to be a challenging and thought-provoking question and I’m still not sure of the answer.
Overall this is an excellent reference for anyone interested in parenting, education and child development, and I’ll certainly reference it over the years.
The author is overall more sympathetic to Singaporean parenting styles, highlighting things such as:
* Emphasis on Math literacy by age 10, driven by parental involvement including extracurricular work
* Focus on building regular study habits & routines
* No need to make learning “fun” - it’s not a party. Once kids develop proficiency, the subject becomes meaningful and fulfilling on its own. This is also how self-esteem is built.
* Focus on interdependence vs independence, and connections with larger family networks
* Giving direct feedback and not sugar coating it; allowing kids to fail (in a controlled environment) and not protecting them from the consequences
That said, she writes a balanced perspective and highlights a number of areas where she prefers US parenting:
* Emphasis on reading for pleasure
* Kids are less over-scheduled
* Time spent outside
The author also closes by asking the reader what the purpose of education is. I found this to be a challenging and thought-provoking question and I’m still not sure of the answer.
Overall this is an excellent reference for anyone interested in parenting, education and child development, and I’ll certainly reference it over the years.
April 1, 2019
3.5/5
I wanted to give the book 4 stars, but a few things disturb me. Having lived in Singapore for five years and conducted research to write this book, I think the author overlooked one important thing: the lack of Malay representations. Even though Malays are one of the biggest minorities in Singapore, all I remember is the author only mentioned Fatima as the only Malay informant, while she interviewed many Chinese and Indians. Whether deliberately or not, I think leaving out Malays from her research in Singapore is a bit problematic to me.
Second, why did the author always compare Singapore to East/South Asian nations, even mentioned it as an East Asian nation, while it's NOT? Singapore is a Southeast Asian country, and I think it is better if the author were also able to compare it to its neighboring countries, such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, perhaps? Yes, Singapore is much advanced in many aspects from its neighbors, but neglecting them while making a concept about "Asian" parenting, I guess it is problematic too when the author failed to see Singapore's connection to its neighbors.
Despite its flaws, I think the book gives so much new information, which I really appreciate.
I wanted to give the book 4 stars, but a few things disturb me. Having lived in Singapore for five years and conducted research to write this book, I think the author overlooked one important thing: the lack of Malay representations. Even though Malays are one of the biggest minorities in Singapore, all I remember is the author only mentioned Fatima as the only Malay informant, while she interviewed many Chinese and Indians. Whether deliberately or not, I think leaving out Malays from her research in Singapore is a bit problematic to me.
Second, why did the author always compare Singapore to East/South Asian nations, even mentioned it as an East Asian nation, while it's NOT? Singapore is a Southeast Asian country, and I think it is better if the author were also able to compare it to its neighboring countries, such as Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, perhaps? Yes, Singapore is much advanced in many aspects from its neighbors, but neglecting them while making a concept about "Asian" parenting, I guess it is problematic too when the author failed to see Singapore's connection to its neighbors.
Despite its flaws, I think the book gives so much new information, which I really appreciate.
July 1, 2022
What a detailed book on parenting, and yet - what I miss is the respect for children who alone know what they need, and respect for nature as the ultimate teacher! Playgrounds are not enough! Children need not only math and science and language - they need spiritual guidance from nature and, most importantly they need sense development! As I point out in my books 'Travel-parenting' https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0725H975B and 'Chess-parenting' http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D8J56S0 - our educational ideas are all based on 2-sense learning and to learn from looking and listening alone Children cannot develop more than 33 % of their potential! 6-sense learning has not been discovered by the author, and that is true for every other parenting author. I am rather disappointed not to find any really new ideas here that could make a difference.
January 31, 2024
The author was born and raised in India, lived in the USA as an adult, and now living in Singapore as a parent. She has experienced both Eastern and Western Parenting style as a result of her various residences, and she wrote this book to compare and contrast both styles. I enjoy reading her analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of both styles, as I was born and raised in Asia and now living in the USA, and as a new father, I am learning how to apply (what I think) is the best parenting style.
July 31, 2017
Basically this book can be summarised as:
English education- Western style is good
Maths education- Asian style is good
Family values- Asian style is good
There is a lot of personal opinions so it's not for everyone but still an interesting perspective from an educator/mum who lived in a couple of different countries.
English education- Western style is good
Maths education- Asian style is good
Family values- Asian style is good
There is a lot of personal opinions so it's not for everyone but still an interesting perspective from an educator/mum who lived in a couple of different countries.
November 24, 2017
Must Read!
Great book! It had wonderful stories about culture and education. A must read for parents especially if you have young children.
Great book! It had wonderful stories about culture and education. A must read for parents especially if you have young children.
December 23, 2018
Very insightful and balanced assessment of parenting practices. 👍
Read
November 28, 2019Great book, highly recommend for all parents especially people from Asia.
July 19, 2021
great book
July 19, 2021
The author acknowledges the pros and the cons of her methods in the book.
December 23, 2016
Maya Thiagarajan writes about both the overt and subtle differences between Asian and Western parenting today, and offers her rich perspectives on how best to educate and nurture our children for the coming age.
What hit me first was her well-researched journey into the inner psyche of a spectrum of Asian parents. Maya makes it clear from the start that she does not mean to make sweeping generalisations, tarring all Indian parents, for instance, with the same brush. Rather, her observations are derived from extensive conversations with parents from different Asian countries, and are by no means definitive.
She has certainly done lots of research, and whilst I disagree with one or two of her observations, most of them are indeed an uncanny reflection of true perspectives and dearly held beliefs by many Asian parents. Much of what Maya wrote deeply resonated.
I liked the book because it coheres with my views of striking a good balance between free play in nature and working hard in school. Plus, throughout the book, there is a strong sense of deep empathy (instead of judgment) for the acute stress that parents go through in trying to do the right thing by their kids. This can only be because Maya herself is an Asian parent trying to navigate the choppy waters of bring up children today, with all the expertise and burden of knowledge as a professional educator.
Beyond the Tiger Mom covers many intriguing topics such as “Why do Asian kids excel in math?”, “Is early math important?”, “Do students really need tuition?”, “What Asian mothers say about play”, “Fixed mindsets vs growth mindsets”, “Achieving balance”, “Secure families versus intellectual freedom” and “Twenty-first-century Asian families”.
All in all, I found Beyond the Tiger Mom a very interesting read, and would recommend it to all Singaporean parents, especially if you are grappling with the difficult balance between spurring your child on towards achieving their best and enjoying a childhood of play for its own sake.
(For more of my thoughts including what I disagreed with, go to http://www.lilbluebottle.com/beyond-t...)
What hit me first was her well-researched journey into the inner psyche of a spectrum of Asian parents. Maya makes it clear from the start that she does not mean to make sweeping generalisations, tarring all Indian parents, for instance, with the same brush. Rather, her observations are derived from extensive conversations with parents from different Asian countries, and are by no means definitive.
She has certainly done lots of research, and whilst I disagree with one or two of her observations, most of them are indeed an uncanny reflection of true perspectives and dearly held beliefs by many Asian parents. Much of what Maya wrote deeply resonated.
I liked the book because it coheres with my views of striking a good balance between free play in nature and working hard in school. Plus, throughout the book, there is a strong sense of deep empathy (instead of judgment) for the acute stress that parents go through in trying to do the right thing by their kids. This can only be because Maya herself is an Asian parent trying to navigate the choppy waters of bring up children today, with all the expertise and burden of knowledge as a professional educator.
Beyond the Tiger Mom covers many intriguing topics such as “Why do Asian kids excel in math?”, “Is early math important?”, “Do students really need tuition?”, “What Asian mothers say about play”, “Fixed mindsets vs growth mindsets”, “Achieving balance”, “Secure families versus intellectual freedom” and “Twenty-first-century Asian families”.
All in all, I found Beyond the Tiger Mom a very interesting read, and would recommend it to all Singaporean parents, especially if you are grappling with the difficult balance between spurring your child on towards achieving their best and enjoying a childhood of play for its own sake.
(For more of my thoughts including what I disagreed with, go to http://www.lilbluebottle.com/beyond-t...)
December 29, 2016
Best. Book. Ever.
This educator and South Asian educated author compares and contrast education methodology and goals in an Eastern versus Western handbook for parents and educators. She handles the touchy areas with grace and aplomb with a great deal of rigorous data to support her evaluations of the cultural and social paradigms for various educational systems. Are the stereotypes real or imagined? Are Western children going to miss the science and maths boat due to our educational patterns in the US? Why do Asian kids have such strong math skills? Do some really lack social flexibility? What do we teach to and what is missing in our children's educational spectrum? She is a natural teacher and her research is focused on answering these and many more questions.
The best part about this book is it's not simply research and ideas, she outlines strategies for parents on both sides of the global spectrum, showing parents how to use the best of both sides of the globe to introduce your children to the best opportunities available in education.
I use this book as an educational handbook for my second set of children. My first batch of kids were born and raised in a liberal arts West Coast U.S. educational environment, our system provided a rich medium for reading, arts, and all the imagination skills necessary. Fortunately, they all three loved and thrived in the S.T. E. M. disciplines as well. Our next batch, another three young children, we have yet to find their strengths but we want (and need) to be prepared for a new global educational and employment worldview.
This educator and South Asian educated author compares and contrast education methodology and goals in an Eastern versus Western handbook for parents and educators. She handles the touchy areas with grace and aplomb with a great deal of rigorous data to support her evaluations of the cultural and social paradigms for various educational systems. Are the stereotypes real or imagined? Are Western children going to miss the science and maths boat due to our educational patterns in the US? Why do Asian kids have such strong math skills? Do some really lack social flexibility? What do we teach to and what is missing in our children's educational spectrum? She is a natural teacher and her research is focused on answering these and many more questions.
The best part about this book is it's not simply research and ideas, she outlines strategies for parents on both sides of the global spectrum, showing parents how to use the best of both sides of the globe to introduce your children to the best opportunities available in education.
I use this book as an educational handbook for my second set of children. My first batch of kids were born and raised in a liberal arts West Coast U.S. educational environment, our system provided a rich medium for reading, arts, and all the imagination skills necessary. Fortunately, they all three loved and thrived in the S.T. E. M. disciplines as well. Our next batch, another three young children, we have yet to find their strengths but we want (and need) to be prepared for a new global educational and employment worldview.
November 28, 2018
This is such a good read and one that causes a parent to reflect on her parenting, education and family beliefs.
The author accurately described the mentality of the Asian moms and I couldn't help but agree with what she wrote. Being an Asian mom myself, I find myself feeling anxious about getting my children to start reading at an early age and therefore find ways to create a math-rich home so that they could understand concepts early and find math in their daily lives. She also provided an honest glimpse into the lives of students in Singapore, those whose schedules are filled with tuition and enrichment classes. Is tuition necessary? The author managed to give a balanced view on that and causes readers to reflect on its purpose and if there is a need for their own children to go through that kind of 'lifestyle'.
As a person who has grown up and taught in the US, the author was able to provide readers with the western perspective to parenting and education and marrying both eastern and western beliefs, she could give a balance view on them. My reflection as a mom is to question what is good for my children and how to parent them in this globalised age based on what she has shared in her book.
Of particular help are the tips that she gave at the end of each chapter, on how we we could build a math-rich, language-rich home, how to help our children memorise information and encourage critical thinking skills, how to supplement our children's education, among others.
It's truly a book to grab and read and then be thrust into a state of reflection.
The author accurately described the mentality of the Asian moms and I couldn't help but agree with what she wrote. Being an Asian mom myself, I find myself feeling anxious about getting my children to start reading at an early age and therefore find ways to create a math-rich home so that they could understand concepts early and find math in their daily lives. She also provided an honest glimpse into the lives of students in Singapore, those whose schedules are filled with tuition and enrichment classes. Is tuition necessary? The author managed to give a balanced view on that and causes readers to reflect on its purpose and if there is a need for their own children to go through that kind of 'lifestyle'.
As a person who has grown up and taught in the US, the author was able to provide readers with the western perspective to parenting and education and marrying both eastern and western beliefs, she could give a balance view on them. My reflection as a mom is to question what is good for my children and how to parent them in this globalised age based on what she has shared in her book.
Of particular help are the tips that she gave at the end of each chapter, on how we we could build a math-rich, language-rich home, how to help our children memorise information and encourage critical thinking skills, how to supplement our children's education, among others.
It's truly a book to grab and read and then be thrust into a state of reflection.
February 3, 2017
I wish I had read it 10 years earlier when my children were at the age this book would have been even more relevant to us. Still, I am happy I read it now.
As parents we have deeply pondered many of these issues. Maya not just flags them but presents different points of view, helps the reader weigh pros and cons of each perspective and even references relevant studies and articles to substantiate her arguments. Without alienating some readers with overly academic language, Maya's simple and anecdotal approach (I particularly liked the boxes where stories/ cases were highlighted - broke the intensity nicely) should be accessible to any parent, educator or even student
In some parts I felt vindicated about parenting decisions we had made and in others, wondered if we could have done better. Either way this is excellent food for thought - a must read for all, especially those raising their kids with cultural and academic influences of the East and the West.
Thank you Maya!
As parents we have deeply pondered many of these issues. Maya not just flags them but presents different points of view, helps the reader weigh pros and cons of each perspective and even references relevant studies and articles to substantiate her arguments. Without alienating some readers with overly academic language, Maya's simple and anecdotal approach (I particularly liked the boxes where stories/ cases were highlighted - broke the intensity nicely) should be accessible to any parent, educator or even student
In some parts I felt vindicated about parenting decisions we had made and in others, wondered if we could have done better. Either way this is excellent food for thought - a must read for all, especially those raising their kids with cultural and academic influences of the East and the West.
Thank you Maya!
June 16, 2016
I found this book eye-opening. It would be easy to fall into broad stereotypes when approaching these subjects, and I would say most popular literature makes no attempt to avoid this—but this book is thoughtful and even-handed and a very readable balance of human anecdotes and interviews poised beside research and data. I read it hoping for some "tips" on parenting and instead I found that it changed the way I view my own experience growing up and my role as a parent now. I can't recommend it highly enough.
August 24, 2016
Although I am neither a parent nor an educator, I found this book to be a thought-provoking read. Offering perspectives from both North American and Asian educational and child-rearing styles, it helped me gain insight into some of the patterns I've come across living in a multicultural society. It is well-written, and helpful in making suggestions for bringing out the best from both systems.
September 15, 2016
An intelligent, thought-provoking and balanced examination of the collisions and opportunities that can occur when East meets West in the world of parenting and education. The author draws upon personal experience and research to offer some eye-opening observations for parents and educators alike. An engaging read...strongly recommended.
September 16, 2016
"Beyond the Tiger Mom" is very intelligently presented and written with much empathy for mums like you and me. The author speaks with such a warm and re-assuring voice, presenting you facts and anecdotes. I highly recommend it for mothers who believe in teaching children grit but also in allowing them to find their own unique place under the sun.
November 25, 2016
True information gathered first hand
As an American teacher in America, I have had a similar experiences with parents and students from Pakistan, China, and India mostly and have learned what was discussed in this book. A blending of the best ideas from East to West would benefit children, education, and society.
As an American teacher in America, I have had a similar experiences with parents and students from Pakistan, China, and India mostly and have learned what was discussed in this book. A blending of the best ideas from East to West would benefit children, education, and society.
July 20, 2016
A very well written book.. As a parent of young kids aged 8 to 12 we always interested to know more ways to help our kids do better with their work. This book has loads of suggestions / ideas .. Worth reading again and again.
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