I Have Something to Say!: An exploration into the heart and mind of my selective mutism

by Kathryn Harper

Kathryn Harper suffered from selective mutism as a child when very little was known about this frequently misunderstood condition. In her teens and early adult years she developed further complications as a result of her untreated anxiety.

Today, it is important to Kathryn to share her perspective, which she has been able to develop using the benefit of hindsight, and a willingness to explore her past. She hopes that this book will provide insights and a greater understanding for people whose lives are affected in some way by selective mutism.

"I have wanted to write this book since 1985. As a six year old girl I had no idea that selective mutism even existed, but my silence was palpable and inside of it I was developing all kinds of conversations, explanations, questions, and insights ..."

Genres: Nonfiction

160 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 23, 2015

About the author

I have always loved to write, draw and create ... but my books are inspired by more than my love for their medium.

As a child I was selective mute. Both my struggles and my breakthroughs are a source of inspiration toward creating Katie-Jane and her stories. you can read more about me and my books on my website; http://kathrynharper.net

I grew up in the UK, after living in Johannesburg between the ages of two and five. Today I live in Wanaka, New Zealand, with my two gorgeous children and partner, Simon. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to call this place home, where an adventure can begin every time we step outside.

Reviews

[Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm just going to start off by saying that I highly recommend this book to anyone who suffers from selective mutism or knows someone who does. It's something that you hear few personal stories on, and I think personal stories are such a key part of people who suffer from these sorts of conditions actually being able to come to terms with themselves. For that reason alone, this book is very valuable. Harper both writes about her own experiences and offers advice for others, and both parts of the book are excellent.

Personally, I don't suffer from selective mutism, and I don't know anyone who does either. But I do have social anxiety, and I found myself relating to quite a few of Harper's stories through that. They're not the same thing, but it definitely gave me an empathy that wouldn't have been there otherwise. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I was in situations strikingly similar to those that Harper describes. I really think the book would have been helpful to me too when I was younger and before I really got that social anxiety was the root of what I was experiencing. Like Harper with selective mutism, I never heard the term social anxiety until I was older, so I fully understand why it is so important to her to get out word about selective mutism.

Talking about these conditions is so beneficial for people, especially children, who suffer from them. I think Harper has managed to achieve her goal of writing a book that can be hugely important to those people with selective mutism.

I received this book for free from Storycartel in exchange for an honest review.

http://hmweasley-blog.blogspot.com/20...

[D.J. Sharry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book of great positivity and advice gained from the Authors years of living with and dealing with and overcoming selective mutism. The positivity and advice is set against an undercurrent of the always following anxiety which at times rises and pokes into the authors positivity and pulls her back down to the paralysis of selective mutism which she has fought so hard to come up from. Great read.

[Arianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book when going through a difficult patch in life, and it helped me tremendously. A little backstory on that: I am an adult who has mostly learned to navigate around what is very likely undiagnosed selective mutism. My childhood and teenage years are marred by a lot of miserable social experiences in which I desperately wanted to socialize but was frozen by anxiety over speaking itself. Suffice it to say I figured out ways to finally talk in (most) situations I'm uncomfortable in, but it's inconsistently perfect. A difficult workplace environment resurfaced a lot of issues I thought I'd conquered, and so I was on the hunt for help when I stumbled upon a British documentary on children with SM. I recognized myself in those children, and naturally sought stories of adults who have SM, too. Enter Kathryn Harper's personal account.

More than anything, this book made me realize I'm not alone with what I'd always just considered a quirk of mine and seeing it for what it is -- and accepting that as a part of who I am -- is key to not letting it completely obscure me as a person. SM is a peculiar thing to have, and as much misery as it's caused me, I wouldn't call it all bad. I came away from reading this with a new perspective on myself and how selective mutism played a part in some traits I actually rather like about myself, thank-you-very-much. In learning to not be so negative about this part of myself, I inevitably regained the courage to open back up (again).

So to the author: thank you for your story, and thank you for giving me and others the encouragement to love ourselves as we are instead of punishing ourselves for who are not!

[Stephen Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an honest and moving read. Kathryn Harper went through her teenage years and into her twenties suffering because of the consequences of her undiagnosed anxiety. She struggled with alcohol and with relationships. But she pulled through, and when she began to understand that her childhood traumas with selective mutism were rooted in anxiety she made the courageous decision to face herself, so that she could try to move on.

The final sections of the book are a testament to her courage, and to her realisation that she had to stop fitting in with other people’s expectations, and try to be herself. Now she has a new relationship with what she calls the most common word used to describe her: quiet. Quiet is good. Quiet is often better than good. Quiet people should be celebrated, supported, cherished. But all too often we are not. Too often we are mocked or belittled. Kathryn Harper’s quietness was extreme when she was a child, but she has renegotiated her relationship with quietness to her advantage, and to the advantage of people with selective mutism, who will enormously benefit from her remarkable book.

[Rachel Knock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a teacher with a student who was diagnosed with selective mutism this year. This book has allowed me to understand him better. He has made such progress over the school year! I enjoyed this book and took lots of notes.