Love in a World of Sorrow: A Teenage Girl's Holocaust Memoirs

by Fanya Gottesfeld Heller

This book describes Holocaust reality as we have never encountered it before. From the unrelenting fear of death and gnawing pain of hunger, to the budding relationships of an adolescent girl growing into womanhood during the worst of all times, the author withholds nothing. Fanya Gottesfeld Heller's subtle depiction of her parents knowledge that it was a non-Jew's love for their daughter that had moved him to hide them, and their embarrassment and ultimate acceptance of the situation, lead us to wonder how we would have acted under the same circumstances as father, mother, or daughter. Love in a World of Sorrow features Fanya's gripping tale of survival and an updated foreword and epilogue by the author, reflecting more than a decade of experience bearing witness to the Holocaust before hundreds of audiences around the world. On the reading list at Princeton University, the University of Connecticut, and Ben Gurion Univesity of the Negev, among others. Fanya Gottesfeld Heller's book is an indispensable educational tool for teaching future generations about the human potential for both good and evil.

Genres: Nonfiction, Holocaust, History, Memoir, World War II, Biography, Autobiography

334 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 1993

About the author

Fanya Gottesfeld Heller was born in 1924 into a traditional Jewish family in the small Ukrainian village of Skala. Just over a decade later, Fanya was beset by hunger, marked for death, and faced with the constant threat of execution. Fanya, her parents and brother were hidden from the Nazi death squads through the kindness of two Christian rescuers, a Polish farmer and a Ukrainian militiaman. Despite the incomprehensible conditions, Fanya miraculously survived to live a full life and shares her message of hope.

Love in a World of Sorrow: A Teenage Girl’s Holocaust Memoirs documents her family’s wartime existence and her complex relationships with her rescuers.

Fanya’s original intent in writing her book, was to uncover the truth about the death of her father which to this day remains unexplained. But in writing her memoirs, she came to understand the importance of her story both as family history for her children and grandchildren and as a contribution to the Holocaust record. The publication of her book was greeted with warm praise for her bravery and described the difficult choices she had to make as she did everything possible to insure the survival of her family.

Her friend, fellow survivor and Nobel Laureate, Elie Wiesel has said, “Everyone who listens to a witness, becomes a witness himself.” In reading Fanya’s story, you too will become a witness.

Love in a World of Sorrow: A Teenage Girl’s Holocaust Memoirs is included in the curriculum of prestigious educational institutions including Princeton University, Yale, and The University of Connecticut. It served as the basis for her film, Teenage Witness: The Fanya Heller Story, released in 2010 when it was broadcast on PBS and its affiliate stations. Narrated by Richard Gere, the film tells Fanya’s story of survival through archival clips, photographs and live action testimonials and reflects her interaction with inner city teens.

Reviews

[Jacki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read and reviewed my personal copy of this in exchange for an honest review through Wicked Reads.

I cannot give enough praise to Mrs.Heller for sharing her story with the world. This book was phenomenally riveting and will leave a lasting impact in my memory. I have had an interest in the Holocaust for some time now and this book has stood out to me by far. It does not get much more real than this.
Most people are familiar with the horrors of the Holocaust, but this book brings the reader right into them. This first person account made me feel very much in the moment. It was an emotional roller coaster and a more personal education of the Nazi invasion.
Everything I expected was there, but there was so much more along with it. Fanya tells all of the personal details that I'm sure many just wanted to forget and couldn't force themselves to recall. Every moment, not matter how large or small is shared to create a complete story. The happiness of the early times in her life through the horror and suffering and even on to post Holocaust are all included. I applaud her for including even the most humiliating and even shameful things that she suffered through or did to survive where others may have chosen to leave them out of their stories. Fanya's own personal journey throughout her life completely amazes me and I admire her as a person for everything she went through and for the person she strove to become in the aftermath.
This book is not for the faint of heart, but for those willing to read it, I highly recommend it and am glad that I took the time to read it.

[Patty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very hard to read. I saw a program about Fanya Gottesfeld Heller on OPB* and immediately put a hold on the book. She had impressed me very deeply. Her book is a no-holds-barred account of the hell she lived through in Poland, while in hiding from the German Nazis, whose hunted down the Jews, in order to eradicate each and every one. At times the story she told was so terrible that I wanted to put the book aside. In fact, I did, for one evening, to read the relatively mild account of a Victorian murderer in one of Anne Perry's books. What a comfort a Victorian mystery, compared to the unfathomable mystery of the mentality of those who hunted the Gottesfelds, relentlessly.

But I forced myself to read her book to the end. For one thing,I wanted very much to know what happened to her and her family. But over and above that, I felt that if she could live through such terrible conditions, I must do her the justice of reading her account--of hearing her witness, without shirking.

Fanya Gottesfeld Heller is an amazing story teller. It must have been very hard for her to call up all those memories. On the program I saw, her family seemed a little embarrassed by her candor about her early affair with a non-Jew. But it was her stark honesty which compelled me to continue to read.

*Released 2010, on PBS 13, "Teenage Witness: The Fanya Gottesfeld Heller Story" was broadcast on PBS [Public Broadcast System 13} 4/11/10 She recounts her childhood experiences, during the Holocaust,in the Ukraine, and relates her account to inner city teens, with compelling detail. See PBS.org

[Leenda dela Luna · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing personal account of surviving the holocaust. HIGHLY recommend. Also recommend viewing the associated documentary, currently showing on PBS, "Teenage Witness: the Fanya Heller Story"

[Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to say it is a fantastically easy read but that is only addressing the physical reading. Though incidents in this woman's life are written in a matter-of-fact style they are heart-wrenching. What they point out are facts people do not want to address, for instance, Poles, Slavs, and Ukrainians were as vehemently anti-Semitic as the Germans if not more so. Once given the chance to brutalize the Jews most did so with relish. However, just as in Germany, there were a precious few who helped as best they could, often putting themselves in danger.

[Betty · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book starts out very slowly. I almost gave up on it because it was so slow. There were too many characters thrown at me all at once, I could not keep them straight. Once I got through all that it got more interesting. The story of Jan (a member of the Ukranian militia) and Fanya’s romance was intriguing. Jan saved them from imminent death several times. But don’t get the idea that a romance makes this a light story. There are graphic descriptions of the cruelties of the time. There were horrid people and there were good people. There was hope, and there was despair. It was a time when it seemed the sorrows would never end.

[P Bernhardt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book and others like it should be required reading in schools. Fanya is a Jew and lived in Poland with her family during the German occupation. The book tells the story of her teenage years trying not to starve to death, not to be found by the Germans and shipped the a concentration camp, and avoiding her non-Jewish neighbors who would turn them in. He point of view is as important as Anne Frank's, since Fanya survived. Definitely recommended reading.

[Harry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a profoundly disturbing first-hand Holocaust memoir for two reasons. First it is about the atrocities Fanya Gottesfeld Heller and her family suffered in the Nazi Aktsia against the Jews of the small Ukranian village of Skala. The unbridled hate and cruelty of the Germans and local Ukranians and Poles against the Jews is very tangible. There is a very real depiction of the suffering that Fanya and her family endured. They never knew from one moment to the next whether they would be found and shot, or die of starvation and disease.They suffered unbeleivable hardships, stuffed in crawl spaces for months on end.
However the love in "Strange & Unexpected Love" or even its reissued title, "Love in a World of Sorrow," is all one sided. Jan, the uneducated Ukranian militia man, is the real hero of this book. He breaks off his engagement to his Ukraninian fiancee and professes his love for Fanya. Jan constantly risks his neck to shelter Fanya and her family and provide food and medicine for them. Jan endures beatings and rejection by his family, fellow soldiers and his church. Jan has witnessed Fanya at her untermost degradation, yet continues to love and support her.
Yes Fanya is affectionate and intimate with Jan, but can never summon the courage to utter those three little words. She only has love for her parents and brother. Yes she is caught up in the daily battle of mere survival, yet she continues to be conflicted as to how an educated Jewish girl can marry an uneducated peasant and goy. It is more than the proscription against intermarriage. Culturally she cannot imagine herself wearing a peasant blouse and serving pigs feet.
I would have expected more gratitude toward Jan and Sidor, who sheltered her, albeit under very harsh conditions. Gratitude to the point of marrying Jan, even if he did not meet her expectations. Yet there is no mention of Jan, either in the dedication or in the postscript to this book.

[Sandra Vance · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fanya missed so much in her last teenage years and early 20’s. Her anguish and hurtful life during those years are hard to comprehend. She has given us an easy read from her memories of that time. Her appreciation of selfless friends during that terrible time of hiding her and her family that could have meant their death. They starved, were lice infested, and feared for their lives for 5 years. I’m glad that she lived through that time to become the person she is today. This is a wonderful description of that sad time. Thank you Mrs. Heller for sharing painful memories in order for the world to remember the madness caused by one man and the masses that ignorantly followed him.

[Howard Lazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another incredible story of survival during the horrors of the Holocaust. Owing to uncanny survival skills, the author, her parents and brother lived in hiding in near starvation conditions with the help of, in particular two of the rightous among the gentiles - one of whom, an illiterate Ukranian peasant became her lover. No matter how many Holocaust stories I read, the inhumanity never fails to shock, nor the ability to survive the most dire conditions. Later in life, with the help of a psychologist, Heller was able to write this story, bearing witness to her experience during this most inhumane period in world and Jewish history. Highly recommended.

[Jessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What a book and what an ending. Fanya did such an amazing job putting to paper what her and her family went through. The end of the book before the epilogue had me yell "what!!!?" to myself and even the epilogue was intensely interesting and I do not reccomend skipping it.

The horrors of the holocaust need to be forefront in the minds of people today. We need to remember all of those who perished and those who did right. It is an inspiration to read of those who defied Nazi rule to help those in need.

I recommend this book to anyone. I was interested from the first page to the last.

[Sally Fiala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing will to live…

I am continually amazed at the will to survive during, what has to be, one of the most harrowing genocides of our times. This book is raw in parts but paints an unyielding picture of pure evil that still exists in our world today. It particularly points us to the intolerance of our current times. We really have not learned from our ugly past. Well written and from the heart.

[David Sprague · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an outstanding read. This deserves in my top ten. Not since Weisel's Night has the holocaust come so vividly to life. It is interesting and mesmerizing at every page turn. The counter to the evil and suffering is a triumph for the good in people that fight the honorable fight. It is refreshing to know that people took such huge personal risks to help the oppressed.

The truth is evident in that the author does not shy away from the embarrassing incidents. She has the courage to go back through the most horrifying events of her life which are many. The remarkable honesty makes it unique.

You have romance, suspense, drama, love, evil and goodness shown to you through true lives that you want to hear but at the same time, you wish it were all fiction.

[Jenine Young · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book 3.5 stars. I enjoyed the brutal honesty and self reflection. It's difficult to not put the lens of today on it as it unfolds and think I would have done something different.
It started very slow, and the epilogue seemed rushed, glossing over 50ish years in a short chapter.

[Eileen E Cartwright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible

This book touched me beyond belief. Born, Sept 27, 1939, I knew nothing of the holocaust until I was in my twenties. I have read many books about it since but I totally blamed the Holocaust on the Nazis and some of the German people. This book made me see how great the hatred of Jews was among the common people not just in Germany. Without this hatred among so many, I do not think the Holocaust would have happened. I see now how evil can overcome people so easily. The book also shows how some few can resist the evil at the risk of their lives and some resist the evil but are gradually overcome by it. I will not soon forget this book or stop thinking about it.

[Samuel Elmaleh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Les années de plomb, le temps de l’Holocauste en Ukraine racontées par une jeune fille qui a survécu. Loin des théories fumeuses, la banalité du mal et le dévouement qui sauve l’humanité. A lire absolument. Le danger subsiste. Il est autour de nous.

[Cambria Webber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harrowing, beautiful story.

I’ve read many, many first hand accounts of life during the Holocaust, and each story sheds new light on live, loss and survival during this darkest of times. Thank you for sharing your unique story. Best to you and your family.
Thank you!

[Dalia Levinsohn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read many survivors memoirs, but thismone is oustanding. My parents and my husband's relatives endured similar experiences during the Holocaust in
Romania and in Galitzia....... No words tho thank late Mrs. Fannya Heller for sharing her terrible survival experience.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know what to say...

I want to say it's a wonderful book but that doesn't seem right.. It was wonderfully written and had my attention from the very first page but of course,the subject makes it heartbreaking! I hate that anyone went through this ..

[Jonathan Hardwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

My impression of this book "love in a world of sorrow"

I have really enjoyed reading this book and meditation on what it was like to live during this time in history.

[Anne Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love in a World of Sorrow.

True accounting of Jewish life and death in war torn Europe. One of the best I have read. Buy it.

[SUSAN SKOGLUND · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique Holocaust experience

This is essential reading- so many different lives devastated by the Holocaust & by communist hate & prejudice! A unique account from a young girl.

[Therese]

Per the book, The Triumphant Spirit (about Holocaust survivor)

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE IN A WORLD OF SORROW: A TEENAGE GIRL’S HOLOCAUST MEMOIRS by Fanya Gottesfeld Heller.
The book contains an author’s preface to the 3rd edition (April 2015), an author’s preface to the 2nd edition (December 2004), a foreword, 8 chapters (spanning Fanya’s 18th birthday, September 26-29, 1942 to Fanya, age 20-21, August-December, 1945), an epilogue (2004) and information about the author, Fanya Gottesfeld Heller. Many photographs are included, also.
I referred to these access points often while reading, especially the epilogue and author information.
[I was given this book to read by Gefen Publishing in exchange for an unbiased and honest review.]

We meet Fanya in September, 1942, on the eve of her 18th birthday. It was the beginning of the aktsia - the extermination of the Jewish community of Skala. Skala was an old, market town on the shore of the Zbrucz River (in present-day Ukraine). The river served as a border between Poland and the Soviet Union after the breakup of the Austro-Hungarian Empire in 1919. It was a small town of 5,500 inhabitants, consisting of Greek Orthodox Ukrainians, Catholic Poles and some 1500 Jews.
Fanya is a very intelligent, articulate girl growing up with a close-knit extended family. She presents us with a day-by-grueling-day of Holocaust survival. It is an account of unimaginable pain and suffering, starvation, torture, rape, despair and desperation. It is also an account of hope, courage and perseverance. The ruthlessness and persistence of German and Ukrainian militias and their sympathizers in hunting down these people - it is sickening to read about.
I really can’t grasp what these experiences must do to a person’s psyche. What has to be ‘done’, be tolerated, be suffered; the depravity and inhumanity that is witnessed. To survive must be a courageous feat - yet at what cost to one’s soul?
Fanya wants to tell her story - I am glad that she does. I would have to quote the entire 2 author prefaces and the epilogue to list her passionate reasons why.
Please read this book. I feel lucky to have done so. It will stay with you always.

[Ronfeld]

This is a memoir of both holocaust survival as well as the coming of age of a young girl. It is a fascinating true story, page turner but also gives an understanding of the historical period. One of the most fascinatiing well written holocaust autobiographys that I have read.
Skala is on the River Zbrucz and most Jews from there perished via the Bordhchiv Ghetto. This area was part of Poland but most of the population there spoke Ukrainian. The interesting thing about this history that under Poland Fanya learned Polish and Hebrew. When Poland was divided up this area was under Soviet control, the crucifix was removed from the class room, a picture of Stalin took its place and education was now in Russian and communist theory was taught by Russia teachers and the wealthy and intelligence were sent to Gulags.
The main story is when the Germans arrived in autumn of 1941. The Ukrainians thought the Germans would get them independence from Russia and were willing collaborators. The Gottesfeld family kept moving to hiding places and were starved and dirty for the whole period of hiding and slowly used up all their assets to keep alive. Luckily they had Jan taking care of them as he was keen on Fanya and we read about this romance but Sidor a poor Polish peasant risked his life to hide and protect them.
Even after the Russians arrived Jews who came out were killed by their neighbors. Fanya describes working for the illiterate Russian officers doing clerical work in Russian. She was able to get Jan out of jail and conscription by bribing with of a phial of mercury as this was in great demand as most Russian soldiers had a VD problem.
Today this area part of Ukraine, and when the Iron Curtain finally fell Fanya was able to contact Sidor's daughter so perhaps a closure to a life of sorrowful memories came finally.

[Jenny Kunwar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will never understand how some people are capable of such atrocities and I cannot imagine how Fanya and her family spent years hiding in a cramped space that could fit only two people. This story is horrifying and heartbreaking and Fanya relating her story in such a matter-of-fact tone chills you at times.

I have the utmost respect for Fanya and her bravery and her later life contributions, but I am so confused over the abrupt ending, which doesn't feel like closure. I am confused over what happened to Jan. Fanya describes him as a perfect gentleman, a guy who saved her at huge risk to his own life. He took the Gottesfelds in his protection because he fell in love with Fanya and Fanya seems to love him too. Their relationship, which started as a war-time necessity, sounded consensual later on. But there was no mention of him in good light at the end.

Her family accused him of murdering her father and Fanya had suspicions herself, but this is the same guy who risked getting shot to smuggle in Fanya's parents just because she asked him to. This was the same guy that held her at her very worst when she was emaciated and beleaguered, so clearly, he had seen her at her very worst. And in the last part it just abruptly ends. What happened?

She says she couldn't imagine a life with him due to him not being a Jew and her having to spend her life surrounded by people who hated her. And I get that Fanya doesn't owe him her love for his actions, but she honoured Sidor after the liberation and attempted to track him. Jan's fate was only mentioned like a sidenote. I felt like Jan was just dropped based on her suspicions (which were never resolved) of his part in her father's death. I might have missed something and I welcome anybody helping me understand this.

[reba jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Compromises of Surviving

The author tells her story with unflinching honesty, as she recounts how overwhelming fear and the constant struggle for survival exposed the heart and soul of the people in her life, including herself. The author reveals not only the admirable and selfless qualities displayed ,but also shares the weaker darker ones that can arise during times of great desperation. For example, the story of how her ownp grandfather, in his overwhelming fear of death , betrayed her grandmother and fifteen others to the Nazis and how she compromised her own pre-existing values for the protection of her family. Definitely, this book is a good read that will make you wonder and question , "What would be willing to do ,if it were you and to pray that it never will be"


qualities that she, her family and friends
their often uncharacteristic failings and weaknesses

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book by flashlight over the course of two days while my power was out. My circumstances, perhaps, contributed to my appreciation for how Fanya and her family survived in hiding for most of the Holocaust. I continue to be amazed by the strength people demonstrate when faced with extreme challenges and dire circumstances.

The book was easy to read and the "forbidden" romance between Fanya and Jan added a new perspective compared to other Holocaust memoirs I've read. I was a bit surprised by the ending despite the gaps filled in by the epilogue.

[Judith East · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changed my life and how I understand the world around me. Through her courageous, honest telling of her story I finally understand why I have survived, though very scarred, while some of my peers perished and others prospered greatly. I have many physical scars, and many emotional. I will look down at my arms and legs with pride now. I hope that I will meet her someday.

[Jamie Wheir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Opened the door to the secret emotional struggles of many

I have read many accounts of the Holocaust and spoken with war survivors. This is the best account of the stress and myriad of choices that had to be made. Shows many points of view. I applaud the effort that clearly was put I to this skillfully narrative.

[Ruth Rowlands · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly moving story

This book gives an incredibly detailed account of one family and their amazing story of survival. It shows what courage, tenacity, love and strength are all about.