What do you think?
Rate this book
The Argument-Free Marriage: 28 Days to Creating the Marriage You've Always Wanted with the Spouse You Already Have
Is an argument-free marriage possible? Fawn Weaver’s answer is yes, absolutely, even when one or both partners are strong willed, independent, and opinionated. (She admits to being all three.) In this groundbreaking book, the best-selling author and award-winning marriage blogger asks readers to invest twenty-eight days in learning how to live together without bickering, blame, angry outbursts, or silent treatments.
Fawn begins with the startling premise that, contrary to popular opinion, conflict in marriage is not necessary or inevitable. Then she leads readers on a day-by-day journey toward a more peaceful and supportive relationship. Chapter by brief chapter, she offers fresh perspectives and practical strategies for communicating effectively, building understanding, and defusing anger while at the same time nurturing honesty, vulnerability, and mutual support.
Fawn begins with the startling premise that, contrary to popular opinion, conflict in marriage is not necessary or inevitable. Then she leads readers on a day-by-day journey toward a more peaceful and supportive relationship. Chapter by brief chapter, she offers fresh perspectives and practical strategies for communicating effectively, building understanding, and defusing anger while at the same time nurturing honesty, vulnerability, and mutual support.
225 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2015
72 people are currently reading
314 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
September 8, 2015
The title is intriguing. I expected it was promising more than it could deliver, but equally figured it would have good principles to think about. It turned out that way, but I was surprised that the author claimed that she and her husband had never argued. Besides being unbelievable, how could one who had never argued know how to overcome it? They had never, sadly, had children and so could not speak with authority on a vital part of marriage. They seemed to have such busy lives that I found myself doubting that they were around each other as most couples are.
She did relate some discussions that sounded like arguments to me. That braggadocio stance was a little much for my taste too. Still, the information shared would help if both husband and wife committed to it.
Some of it was basic, yet well written and told in a way that makes you realize you need to work at it: don’t go to bed angry, don’t accelerate the argument, etc. The last week of the 28-day challenge was primarily about finances, but was helpful too.
I’ll rate 4 stars–helpful with some caveats.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
She did relate some discussions that sounded like arguments to me. That braggadocio stance was a little much for my taste too. Still, the information shared would help if both husband and wife committed to it.
Some of it was basic, yet well written and told in a way that makes you realize you need to work at it: don’t go to bed angry, don’t accelerate the argument, etc. The last week of the 28-day challenge was primarily about finances, but was helpful too.
I’ll rate 4 stars–helpful with some caveats.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.
December 27, 2015
Now, first of all this author does not have kids (yet) so I was slightly cynical of her argument free marriage, because in my mind - it's easy to not argue with your spouse when you don't have kids! They both have well paying jobs, no real threats to their security as they have homes and income...it's pretty easy to get along with someone under those circumstances! But, I decided to read the entire book and really try to understand her viewpoint. No she doesn't have kids, but they made a decision early on in their marriage to live within their means and work toward financial freedom so they set themselves up for success in that way. They also decided to eliminate any outside influences (such as past loves) that might cause them to look around for a Plan B. Not having kids, they still had to endure fertility struggles and were able to come through many failed attempts which is not something a lot of couples in their position can say. So, despite my initial cynicism, I do think it is a good book and I recommend this book even if it might seem a little unrealistic at first. I discussed many of the points with my husband and we agreed that the biggest factor for an argument free marriage (that she makes in the book) is to work as a team, assuming the best of each other. In my marriage, most of our arguments come from some misunderstanding of the other's comments, and if we work as a team and assume that we each have good intentions toward one another, I can see this eliminating many (if not all) arguments.
July 30, 2020
I really enjoyed the premise of the book and hope to implement it in my marriage. Amy and I read this together and are going to strive to have no arguments and work to find better approaches to conflict resolution.
April 25, 2018
I've read a lot of Christian Marriage books, and this is one of the worst. The premise is unrealistic, and even though the author claims to have never had a single argument for the entirety of her marriage, in an early chapter she describes an incident in which her husband made her so mad that she had to leave the house for a six-hour walk in order to calm down! Here is a quote from the book:
"I understood the law of acceleration and knew if I didn't get out of the house - right then, right there - I was going to lose control. So I kept walking. And walking. And walking. I walked for six hours before returning home" (Page 38)
This, along with other stories, shows that this author strictly defines arguing as having a heated disagreement, whereas really an argument can be defined as "an exchange of diverging or opposite views." When she tells the story of leaving for 6 hours, she mentions that she called home after Hour #2 to tell her husband where she was. Now I imagine, that even if they didn't have a fight, she did explain her opposite view concerning the disagreement that they were having. They were clearly in an argument. Maybe not a heated one, but they have had an argument. Her relentless insistence that they have never had an argument is laughable as multiple stories are told in which she describes, what most people would see as, arguments in her marriage. Because the "6-Hour Walk" story is told in the first 30 pages of the book, the author loses all credibility, and the rest of the book can't be taken too seriously. There are some good tidbits, but overall, a waste of time.
This book also falls into the trap that a lot of self-help books fall into of not having enough material to create a whole book. During this 28-Day Challenge, she started by giving a different tip every day, but at Day 22 she runs out of information to share, and decides to spend the next seven chapters talking about good money management. I know this can be valuable information, but it doesn't need a week's worth of material. It felt like she just didn't have anything left to say.
"I understood the law of acceleration and knew if I didn't get out of the house - right then, right there - I was going to lose control. So I kept walking. And walking. And walking. I walked for six hours before returning home" (Page 38)
This, along with other stories, shows that this author strictly defines arguing as having a heated disagreement, whereas really an argument can be defined as "an exchange of diverging or opposite views." When she tells the story of leaving for 6 hours, she mentions that she called home after Hour #2 to tell her husband where she was. Now I imagine, that even if they didn't have a fight, she did explain her opposite view concerning the disagreement that they were having. They were clearly in an argument. Maybe not a heated one, but they have had an argument. Her relentless insistence that they have never had an argument is laughable as multiple stories are told in which she describes, what most people would see as, arguments in her marriage. Because the "6-Hour Walk" story is told in the first 30 pages of the book, the author loses all credibility, and the rest of the book can't be taken too seriously. There are some good tidbits, but overall, a waste of time.
This book also falls into the trap that a lot of self-help books fall into of not having enough material to create a whole book. During this 28-Day Challenge, she started by giving a different tip every day, but at Day 22 she runs out of information to share, and decides to spend the next seven chapters talking about good money management. I know this can be valuable information, but it doesn't need a week's worth of material. It felt like she just didn't have anything left to say.
March 9, 2020
I wouldn't follow advice day-by-day as written in the book. But any relationship is worth a month of fighting for. Ironically, the point is to stop fighting, and it starts with you. Yes, it's extremely difficult when you feel your spouse is in the wrong. But "take the plank out of your eye" and continue to let love persevere.
I'm not familiar with Weaver but she has a bad reputation of being a traditionalist and antifeminist. She dispels those myths in this book. Although Weaver is Christian, this is not a Christian book. I would recommend to my non-religious, married friends.
I'm not familiar with Weaver but she has a bad reputation of being a traditionalist and antifeminist. She dispels those myths in this book. Although Weaver is Christian, this is not a Christian book. I would recommend to my non-religious, married friends.
October 17, 2016
I LOVED this book! Such down to earth, loving and caring advice. Yes, we have to do our best to look for the best in our spouses and choose when to get into any necessary discussions. Our marriage is more important than any temporary issues we may be facing.
September 21, 2022
I both loved and disliked this book. A lot of the suggestions are based on positive psychology and are skills I've worked on over the years and stuff I already knew about. It was a little too rose colored glasses for me. The suggestions are good - stay in a thankful mindset, and explore why you react with anger, etc. In the end, I didn't finish but that's just me!
August 6, 2025
This was a solid read with great ideas and examples of how we can have an argument free marriage. the author provides actionable suggestions on how to cultivate the best relationship possible with your spouse and hopefully best friend!
July 10, 2024
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Review: This book was just okay. It had some good topics and some interesting questions at the end of each chapter but overall I feel it did not relate much for us.
Review: This book was just okay. It had some good topics and some interesting questions at the end of each chapter but overall I feel it did not relate much for us.
June 26, 2025
I really like the challenges it suggests that you apply to your marriage. I’m definitely taking the advice to heart!
August 17, 2015
When I first saw Fawn Weaver’s The Argument-Free Marriage: 28 Days to Creating the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted with the Spouse You Already Have available for review, I thought, “Sure.” But then I remembered thinking the same thing about Brant Hansen’s book Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (my review here),and it was (is!) brilliant (I’ve already sent out copies and recommended it on numerous occasions). If you get nothing else from this review, I hope you walk away remembering this: go buy Brant’s book because it is a foundation-changing premise that will likely help long before seeing any change while going through The Argument-Free Marriage. Now, back to the book at hand.
The foreword is written by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, and basically says we are incomplete unless we are married. Granted, the unmarried are not the primary target audience of this book, but I still think this is a poor approach. Strike one.
In the first chapter (really an introduction), Weaver writes that she and her husband have never had an argument in twelve years of marriage. In chapter 3 (Day 2) she eventually defines “argument” for the reader: “The definition I most often use is the same one that will appear at the top of your screen if you type the term into Google: ‘an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one.’ It is the latter portion of that definition that I truly believe can be avoided” (18). If this is her foundation, then she must be working with a relative timespan before she stamps something as an argument, which is just long enough to exclude the experiences she shares in the book (pages 134–35 demonstrate the most obvious example of a definable argument had by the happy couple who claim they’ve never argued). Weaver and her husband probably have a very happy marriage and argue much less than anyone they’ve ever met, but given what she’s written about their relationship, I certainly don’t believe in the pristine claim. I’d much rather read someone who’s honest about these things. Strike two.
Jumping back to when I first saw the title and remembered reading Unoffendable, I thought my wife and I could give this book a go since we do argue—we’re human. After getting through the first three chapters, we realized this was not going to be very practical (it won’t fit into 28 days—Day 10 could take months just trying to find couples to imitate!) and seemed to be a bit hokey. However, I accepted the book in exchange for a review, so I carried on. This is no 28-day fix as it claims. Strike three.
The final week is nothing more than a Dave Ramsey fest. That’s not necessarily bad, but none of the chapters deal with how to not argue, though finances are a common source of arguing. Again this doesn’t really fit the 28-day challenge, and can’t. Strike four.
Though I do no doubt that Weaver loves God (she expresses it a couple times and regrets yelling at God instead of her husband in Day 16), the approach in this book is not to glorify God, but to love your spouse first above all else (174). Praying or meditating (distraction from getting heated) and tithing to a church or charity (simply giving away money) apparently perform magic and will keep you from ever having an argument or financial trouble. This will surely broaden the potential buyers market, but I can’t imagine sharing these points as so presented. Strike five.
Okay, so I just kept going with the strikes. You get no sport analogy from me—especially not baseball! (Doh! Did that just count?) My point is that it’s just not something I would recommend. Can it be helpful and beneficial? Absolutely! There’s some good stuff in here about keeping your cool, being a good listener, communicating well, setting boundaries, and, most importantly, loving one another. There’s just nothing new and sits on a dishonest premise. And…Weaver mentions her first book and blogging community in almost every chapter like a bad promo.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
The foreword is written by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, and basically says we are incomplete unless we are married. Granted, the unmarried are not the primary target audience of this book, but I still think this is a poor approach. Strike one.
In the first chapter (really an introduction), Weaver writes that she and her husband have never had an argument in twelve years of marriage. In chapter 3 (Day 2) she eventually defines “argument” for the reader: “The definition I most often use is the same one that will appear at the top of your screen if you type the term into Google: ‘an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one.’ It is the latter portion of that definition that I truly believe can be avoided” (18). If this is her foundation, then she must be working with a relative timespan before she stamps something as an argument, which is just long enough to exclude the experiences she shares in the book (pages 134–35 demonstrate the most obvious example of a definable argument had by the happy couple who claim they’ve never argued). Weaver and her husband probably have a very happy marriage and argue much less than anyone they’ve ever met, but given what she’s written about their relationship, I certainly don’t believe in the pristine claim. I’d much rather read someone who’s honest about these things. Strike two.
Jumping back to when I first saw the title and remembered reading Unoffendable, I thought my wife and I could give this book a go since we do argue—we’re human. After getting through the first three chapters, we realized this was not going to be very practical (it won’t fit into 28 days—Day 10 could take months just trying to find couples to imitate!) and seemed to be a bit hokey. However, I accepted the book in exchange for a review, so I carried on. This is no 28-day fix as it claims. Strike three.
The final week is nothing more than a Dave Ramsey fest. That’s not necessarily bad, but none of the chapters deal with how to not argue, though finances are a common source of arguing. Again this doesn’t really fit the 28-day challenge, and can’t. Strike four.
Though I do no doubt that Weaver loves God (she expresses it a couple times and regrets yelling at God instead of her husband in Day 16), the approach in this book is not to glorify God, but to love your spouse first above all else (174). Praying or meditating (distraction from getting heated) and tithing to a church or charity (simply giving away money) apparently perform magic and will keep you from ever having an argument or financial trouble. This will surely broaden the potential buyers market, but I can’t imagine sharing these points as so presented. Strike five.
Okay, so I just kept going with the strikes. You get no sport analogy from me—especially not baseball! (Doh! Did that just count?) My point is that it’s just not something I would recommend. Can it be helpful and beneficial? Absolutely! There’s some good stuff in here about keeping your cool, being a good listener, communicating well, setting boundaries, and, most importantly, loving one another. There’s just nothing new and sits on a dishonest premise. And…Weaver mentions her first book and blogging community in almost every chapter like a bad promo.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
January 31, 2023
What a great concept. Who wouldn’t love to never argue with their spouse again?! But I have a hard time taking advice from someone who says they and their husband have NEVER argued. The author has been married 11 years but doesn’t have children…one of the biggest argument causers there is! There were a few takeaways that I liked from the book but overall just a hard pill to swallow realistically.
October 13, 2015
It is suggested that this book be read during a 28 day period so the chapters are written in days and weeks formatting. Each “chapter” is for a specific day and week. I have read thru this book but have not completed the 28 day challenge yet. I will be starting it as a daily challenge this coming week. I really like that at the end of each day, there are journaling/challenge questions to help the reader reflect on the chapter and what they can do differently or what they are currently doing. After reading this book, I KNOW this book can help me be a better spouse and person.
Gary Chapman writes the forward of this book so just reading his testimonial gave me affirmation that this book was worth reading.
For the past 11 years, the author Fawn Weaver has been speaking to others about her thoughts on a happy marriage.
I love that on day 1 she asks the question, “WHY did you choose your spouse”? “WHAT made you choose your spouse? Out of the seven billion people in the word, what was so special about him or her that caused you to forsake all others?” She goes on to say that if the reader keeps this question in mind, they will have a more fulfilling journey during the 28 day challenge.
The author states at the very beginning of this book, that this book and challenge ARE NOT intended for people who are in an abuse relationship. Just keep that in mind when sharing this book with others.
She says, “The plan for an argument-free marriage is simple: stop the arguments; and then restore, revive, and re-energize the intimacy in your relationship.”
I like that she addresses the definition and gives examples of an argument versus a discussion in day 2 reading. I feel like that is very important to read and distinguish the differences between those 2 words and actions.
In day 3 she talks about PLAN B, which I’m sorry to say that because I was previously divorced at a very young age (age 20!) I have a tendency to want to protect myself from getting hurt again that I feel myself thinking about Plan B sometimes. WHICH IS WRONG! and I plan to change that! I agree that if you have a plan B, or “just in case” thoughts, you are not fully ready for this challenge or book. “We live in a society of plan Bs”.
I like that the author shares personal experiences-good and bad-as examples on how to achieve an argument free marriage.
I found this book very inspiring and I’m hoping that if I stay consistent with this 28 day challenge along with prayer, that I can become a more Godly woman and wife.
I received this book complimentary from booklookbloggers.com in exchange for an honest review on my blog and social media. All opinions are my own.
Gary Chapman writes the forward of this book so just reading his testimonial gave me affirmation that this book was worth reading.
For the past 11 years, the author Fawn Weaver has been speaking to others about her thoughts on a happy marriage.
I love that on day 1 she asks the question, “WHY did you choose your spouse”? “WHAT made you choose your spouse? Out of the seven billion people in the word, what was so special about him or her that caused you to forsake all others?” She goes on to say that if the reader keeps this question in mind, they will have a more fulfilling journey during the 28 day challenge.
The author states at the very beginning of this book, that this book and challenge ARE NOT intended for people who are in an abuse relationship. Just keep that in mind when sharing this book with others.
She says, “The plan for an argument-free marriage is simple: stop the arguments; and then restore, revive, and re-energize the intimacy in your relationship.”
I like that she addresses the definition and gives examples of an argument versus a discussion in day 2 reading. I feel like that is very important to read and distinguish the differences between those 2 words and actions.
In day 3 she talks about PLAN B, which I’m sorry to say that because I was previously divorced at a very young age (age 20!) I have a tendency to want to protect myself from getting hurt again that I feel myself thinking about Plan B sometimes. WHICH IS WRONG! and I plan to change that! I agree that if you have a plan B, or “just in case” thoughts, you are not fully ready for this challenge or book. “We live in a society of plan Bs”.
I like that the author shares personal experiences-good and bad-as examples on how to achieve an argument free marriage.
I found this book very inspiring and I’m hoping that if I stay consistent with this 28 day challenge along with prayer, that I can become a more Godly woman and wife.
I received this book complimentary from booklookbloggers.com in exchange for an honest review on my blog and social media. All opinions are my own.
March 26, 2016
Best Selling Author & Founder of Happy Wives Club online, Fawn Weaver's newest publication 'The Argument-Free Marriage (28 days to creating the marriage you've always wanted with the spouse you already have)" offers simple and sound advice for her readers. Fawn gives couples tools to learn to live together in peace. She warns that this book is not intended for those in abusive relationships. Otherwise, readers will find resolve to the multiple situations which might interfere with a successful relationship. With each chapter there is a questionaire and tasks for each spouse. I applaud Ms. Weaver for elaborating on the importance of respect and showing your significant other appreciation.
I decided to review this self-help manual for the Book Look Blogger community because I have been blessed into an argument-free marriage. I found it alarming how many others doubt that this can be acheived. Being told that this is near impossible, I was excited to have this publication to share. I highly recommend this great resource for couples.
To learn more about The Happy Wive's Club .
I decided to review this self-help manual for the Book Look Blogger community because I have been blessed into an argument-free marriage. I found it alarming how many others doubt that this can be acheived. Being told that this is near impossible, I was excited to have this publication to share. I highly recommend this great resource for couples.
To learn more about The Happy Wive's Club .
August 13, 2015
‘An Argument-Free Marriage: 28 Days to Creating the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted with the Spouse You Already Have.’ This title recently caught my attention. But wait…..is an argument-free marriage even possible? Fawn Weaver, the best-selling author, award-winning marriage blogger and founder of the ‘Happy Wives Club’ certainly thinks so. In ‘An Argument-Free Marriage’, she invites readers to consider investing twenty-eight days in learning how to live together without arguing.
Fawn asserts that contrary to popular opinion, conflict in marriage is not necessary. Me? I’m not so sure. I would argue that conflict is inevitable in any marriage. There will always be pressures in life that squeeze a marriage over time. It is not the absence of conflict in a marriage that makes a marriage happy and successful. Rather it is how conflict is handled that determines how healthy our marriage is.Read more here:
http://latteslacedwithgrace.com/2015/...
Fawn asserts that contrary to popular opinion, conflict in marriage is not necessary. Me? I’m not so sure. I would argue that conflict is inevitable in any marriage. There will always be pressures in life that squeeze a marriage over time. It is not the absence of conflict in a marriage that makes a marriage happy and successful. Rather it is how conflict is handled that determines how healthy our marriage is.Read more here:
http://latteslacedwithgrace.com/2015/...
September 27, 2016
This book is filled with tips and exercises for couples. Even if you aren't a couple that argues there are takeaways and strategies you can implement. I'll give this a solid 3.5 stars only because there was a large portion of the information (the last week) that didn't really apply to me and my husband. Had I read it 2 years ago I would have given it a higher rating. If you find yourself arguing about finances then pick this book up right now! I don't agree with all her financial advice but even a small adjustment could make a difference for those struggling (and arguing).
Bottom line: if you are someone who cares about your relationship/marriage enough to work on it then this is a good place to start.
Bottom line: if you are someone who cares about your relationship/marriage enough to work on it then this is a good place to start.
August 22, 2015
The concept of an argument free marriage is intriguing however, it isn't what you think. Fawn discribes a better way to handle your disagreements as an alternative to arguing. Some of the things discussed are pulled from her first book The Happy Wives Club; which, for me, made this book redundant. Although I started with high hopes the book wasn't what I expected. I thought it would be a marriage building exercise book. Things to do each day to strengthen your bond with your partner. What it turned out to be was a book based on Fawn's own belief system and her idea of what every marriage should be. In my opinion read her first book and don't bother with this one.
August 22, 2019
Easy to read, and inspiring book. I may not be married yet but the title was enough to get me interested. The book is both an amazing testimony of an argument free marriage (while still keeping it real) and a good guide towards having your own argument free, or at least argue less marriage. It was laid out in a simple step by step day by day way and all up filled with wisdom. Obviously it was all written from her viewpoint and her marriage is hers and different to every other marriage but there are many things that I can see as applying to every marriage, or good points to take into consideration.
August 20, 2015
Great book!
A lot of great advice. Practical things we should all be doing in our marriage but rarely think about. Many of us don't realize how selfish our thoughts and motives can be, especially in the heat of the moment.
A lot of great advice. Practical things we should all be doing in our marriage but rarely think about. Many of us don't realize how selfish our thoughts and motives can be, especially in the heat of the moment.
January 1, 2026
This was a great book without a lot of good tips. Although, I felt the section on finance was a little long.
October 19, 2016
Excellent read newlyweds and not-so-newlyweds. In other words, it's for anyone who's willing to put in the work to take the ordinary to extraordinary.
August 20, 2017
I've read a lot of marriage books. This one was pretty terrible.
March 28, 2018
Pretty much classified my daily practices into actual categorized content, however, the finance section is very much based on western culture and not very applicable to an Asian context.
June 24, 2019
6 stars
did-not-finish
November 12, 2025I don't think we got past the introduction.
For additional reviews please see my blog at www.adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot...
For additional reviews please see my blog at www.adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot...
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews