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Absolute Pandemonium: My Louder Than Life Story

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There is no one quite like Brian Blessed. He's an actor, film star, trained undertaker, unlikely diplomat, secret romantic, martial artist and mountaineer. He's also a brilliant storyteller who will - and you must brace yourself - simply leap out of the pages at you.

Ready? Then open Absolute Pandemonium and you'll be taken on a riotous journey from his childhood, growing up the son of a miner in Goldthorpe, to finding fame in Z-Cars. You'll see Brian falling for Katharine Hepburn on the set of The Trojan Women, suffering wires strapped round his wotsits as he was hoisted into the heavens on Flash Gordon, almost causing an international incident when meeting the Emperor and Empress of Japan, and winning round George Lucas to get the role of Boss Nass on Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Along the way he takes secret revenge on headmistress Mrs Jarman and her very big bottom, punches Harold Pinter, loves and hates Peter O'Toole, woos his beautiful wife Hildegard Neil and braves the shocking death toll on cosy TV drama My Family and Other Animals. Crammed with anecdotes from his illustrious career, this is a funny, warm-hearted, life-affirming, LOUD and unique memoir from a much-loved figure.

401 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2015

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Brian Blessed

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5 stars
870 (47%)
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623 (33%)
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282 (15%)
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45 (2%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 248 reviews
Profile Image for Adam Waldron.
28 reviews3 followers
January 31, 2016
A book that needs to be listened to as it's read by Brian himself. I listen to a lot of audio books and this is definately up there as one of the all time greats.
Profile Image for Nigeyb.
1,477 reviews409 followers
February 10, 2017
Brian Blessed is a national treasure: actor, trained undertaker, romantic, martial artist, boxer, mountaineer, and a man with a lifetime of anecdotes which are variously hilarious, tragic, wise, interesting, life reaffirming, touching, and insightful.

As with many biographies, I was especially enthralled by his childhood memories during WW2. Brian's father was a coal hewer from Goldthorpe, a coal mining village in South Yorkshire. He was a modest, understated hero. A union man who closed down the Barnsley seam because it was seeping gas, and who saved many lives.

Brian's parents were so proud when he got a scholarship to theatre school, almost unheard of in those days that a coal hewer's son should go to drama school.

Childhood memories are but a small section of this superb autobiography though.

His recollections about a lifelong friendship, well love/hate relationship might be more accurate, with Peter O'Toole are worth the price of admission alone.

There is so much more to enjoy: ranging from Z Cars, to Star Wars, to Flash Gordon, to his friendship with Audrey Hepburn, meeting his wife, and so on.

I listened to Brian’s big booming voice narrating the audiobook version and it was a joy from start to finish. What a wonderful human being. What a wonderful book.

Now then, all together, “Gordon’s alive!”
Profile Image for Margaret.
Author 20 books104 followers
March 25, 2018
Memoir of one of my favourite actors, Brian Blessed.

Told with style, flair, and a turn of picturesque speech that literally had me crying with laughter at some points. As did some of the stories themselves. The opening tale about the homing turd on Mt Everest set the tone for the entire book.

Mr Blessed needs to write more volumes of memoirs. He barely scratched the surface with this one.
Profile Image for Jason.
1,321 reviews140 followers
January 30, 2020
Good old Brian Blessed, a national treasure, you gotta be pretty evil to dislike him. He has been on the TV for many many years and any scene he is in he steals it. Most memorable is his part in Flash Gordon, loved that movie when I was a kid. I picked up this book thinking it was a biography, instead it is a collection of anecdotes with a whole load of side-stories thrown in.

What I loved about the book was hearing about his childhood, he was one crazy young man that caused his parents no end of grief, even at such a young age you can still see the man he was going to be. His first job at the undertakers was very interesting, especially from Brian's outlandish point of view. Also reading about his time with his Dad, some real love there, was great. His dad seemed like quite a character too.

Reading about how he got roles, the people he met and the movies he saved was interesting at first, but I did find myself getting a bit bored with all the unbelievable stories and all the name dropping. Some of the stuff he did on set was borderline worrying, his treatment of some of the smaller actors in Flash Gordon would definitely cause him to get fired today. One thing that was only briefly covered was his time up mountains, I would have loved to read more about that, I think it may be covered in a separate book so will have to look into that.

I've learnt loads and been inspired to watch a number of his movies. I've also recently seen that the man himself actually reads the audiobook so maybe that would be a better format to check out for this book. All in all it was good fun even if it has it's weak points.

Blog review: https://felcherman.wordpress.com/2020...
Profile Image for Rob Thompson.
745 reviews45 followers
August 5, 2016
Prince Vultan AKA The Dynamite Kid believes life is for living. And what a life!

Over Christmas 2015, I listened to Brian Blessed’s big, booming voice. No he didn't pop round for dinner, rather I listened to him read his autobiography, Absolute Pandemonium. In summary - a thrilling romp; a fantastic, fun listen. The best book I’ve heard since I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan. Its read with ebullience and enthusiasm. He sings, he does the voices, he swears, he tells jokes, he does it all.

The name of the book sums up the content pretty well. Here's a typical quote:
“So the first time I ever came into contact with O’Toole was at one of these very gatherings. I remember it well because I’d just punched Harold Pinter down a flight of stairs. Oh yes, I’m afraid so. No long dramatic pauses this time, Harold; he got one right on the side of the jaw. Wham!”

Blessed lives his life with the dial turned up to 11. He’s a big man, with a big personality. But saying this the book isn't all brawling, madness and chaos. He shows a genuine streak of emotion, intelligence and kindness. He doesn't drink alcohol and has a loving family. For example, he says love never ages. He wakes with his wife [actor Hildegarde Neil] and they can’t wait for the day to start. They hold hands, their love grows and they’re happy.

He also enjoys stillness and silence. Sometimes he needs to be on his own. Many times, he reveals, he's been in rehearsals and thinks, “Christ, I’ve got to leave.” This, he relates, got him into trouble many times.

The book starts up Everest, with a story about a turd. It then covers his early life in Yorkshire and his discovery of acting. It moves onto TV roles such as Z Cars, film roles (including his most famous part in Flash Gordon … GORDON’S ALIVE!), and beyond. Brian has a tendency to digress, going off onto various tangents in a nonlinear way. These anecdotes make it seems that Brian is sitting in a room with you, having a chat. Why bother to run though your life chronologically when you can bounce about a bit and select the best bits?

You get the impression that he believes that we all have our own Everests to climb. The greatest danger in life is for us to decide not to take our own adventure, whatever they may be.

Lots of laughs, and a few tender moments which will have you reaching for your tissues. All in all its an upbeat book with a distinct lack of malice. A big talent, big passion, bags of confidence. A man who grasps life with both hands and gives it a damn good shake. We can all learn from this. Brian lives to persue his dreams, and has had enormous enjoyment in the process. This is something we can all learn from.

Highly recommended! But maybe the last word should go to Brian himself? [NSFW]
Profile Image for Sammy.
1,919 reviews19 followers
January 24, 2021
About a decade ago we got a sat-nav, which immediately prompted a long search for the perfect road companion voice. After going through several Star Wars related ones (R2-D2 was, unsurprisingly, a bit of a confusing sod, and C3PO spoke too slowly, so his "exit" was constantly abbreviated to "egg"), we chanced upon an online video showing off the recording of a sat-nav voice by none other than Brian Blessed. Quite possibly the most inspired, genius idea in the history of the universe.
We immediately went shopping, and in the decade since, Brian has guided us in unfaltering fashion, and with great gusto across the United Kingdom. And unlike most of the sat-nav stories you hear, he has never steered us wrong.

Everyone (ok, at least everyone in Britain over the age of 35) knows of Brian Blessed. He of the great voice and even greater beard. Not everyone knows that he is a fully trained cosmonaut, or that he's an avid mountaineer (Everest several times) or has trekked to the North Pole on foot.
But what most of us seem to forget, is how incredibly funny this man is. Seriously, it doesn't matter that the gym is currently locked down... My abs got one heck of a workout listening to this book (I have both the hardback and the audio, read by Brian himself, of course. Accept no substitutes!). I honestly don't think I've laughed like this for a year or more!

I cannot recommend this enough for anyone that needs a smile right now. And yes, you'll be hearing him bellow "Gordon's Alive!" many times throughout.
Profile Image for Heather.
380 reviews13 followers
November 14, 2017
A friend recommended this book after I enjoyed listening to As You Wish (Cary Elwes's memoir about making The Princess Bride). My familiarity with Brian Blessed is largely centered around Flash Gordon, so nearly all of this audiobook was about works of Blessed's I haven't seen (it took me an awfully long time to figure out what "Zed Cars" was).

Guys, he's a nut. He claims to remember the moment of his birth. He claims he had stroke-like moments when he was younger that resulted in him being able to read thoughts and literally see the atomic structure of objects and people and creatures. His favorite thing is to say something outlandish and then insist to readers that it may sound impossible but "I assure you it is all perfectly true." He also kiiiiiiind of sounds like a dick sometimes (kicking people in the ass a lot on set when he knew they were terribly uncomfortable, saying disparaging shit about interns, fucking off from rehearsal without an explanation because "I just had to," etc.). And I could do without his voices for Japanese people.

But honestly, this is a fun one to listen to because he straight-up performs the hell out of the whole book. He's not reading it, he's not talking to you, he's performing it. If you'd like to be boomed at for 13 hours, hearing stories about Yorkshire, theatre school, Peter O'Toole, and beloved sci-fi films, get ahold of this baby.
Profile Image for Jo Weston.
441 reviews20 followers
February 3, 2016
What a man, what a life, what a fabulous audiobook.

I know that this book has drawn its critics due to the total exclusion of even a mention of his first wife and the daughter he had with her, but I don't know the back story so won't dwell on it.

This book is a roller coaster of fun, frolics, extraordinary stories, love and above all living life to the absolute full. As he says early on, "I write my own script for life" and his mantra is "Go for it".

His career has spanned well over 50 years and been so diverse. I had no idea that he was Master of Ceremonies when Hong Kong was handed back to the Chinese in 1997! That is just one staggering surprise of the very many that his life has covered.

Who will ever forget him on Have I Got News For You the week Margaret Thatcher died.

I could go on and on, but that would be pointless, you simply have to read this book. And if you can listen to it, then all the better because it is like he is sitting in the room with you.

A colossus of a man, and boy can he tell a story. Amazing that that story is his life.
Profile Image for Stephen.
630 reviews181 followers
February 18, 2021
What a tremendous book - never expected to enjoy it so much. It was absolutely hilarious throughout but also had parts which really made you think. If I had to pick a favourite part it would be that about Katherine Hepburn and I had no idea that there was even any connection between Brian Blessed and her before I read this.

There could be some people who find Brian Blessed a bit much. They might still find it interesting as he has lived such an amazing and eventful life. However if you find this funny then you will absolutely love this book:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dxLx...
Profile Image for Claire (Book Blog Bird).
1,089 reviews41 followers
December 27, 2016
What do you mean, who's Brian Blessed?

Okay, remember the bit in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (and don't pretend for a second you've never seen it) where the Sheriff of Nottingham turns up in his mask at Lord Locksley's castle with all his cronies and Locksley comes out on his horse and the Sheriff is all like 'Join us, or die' and Locksley's all:

'GOD! AND KING RICHARD!!!'

That's Brian Blessed.

Okay, maybe you remember him from Blackadder:

'CHISWICK! FRESH HORSES!'

No? Then maybe Flash Gordon:

'GORDON'S ALIVE!'

These aren't the only things Blessed has been in over his long acting career but the all-caps are about right - despite managing to net some truly diverse and interesting roles he has never quite managed to perfect an Indoor Voice. Brian Blessed has tried to scale Everest three times now, but has never managed to reach the summit owing to his huge voice setting off avalanches along the way.*

Brian Blessed has a huge voice - in fact Doncaster, where he grew up, now boasts a school for the deaf. Yes, really. Yet contrary to his massive persona, in his private life Brian is a mild-mannered janitor. He practises transcendental meditation and is super into rescuing abused animals.

This book takes us from is humble beginnings in a small mining town in the north of England, through his diverse acting career, through his training as a cosmonaut (yes, really), his work as a diplomat (yes, really!) and the aforementioned jaunts up Everest.

This book probably isn't for everyone (and if you read my other review, which are mostly YA,you may be wondering why I read it) butif you are a fan of Mr Blessed (like I am) then this book is just fab. It's totally written like he speaks and is chocka with funny, own-trumpet-blowing anecdotes.

*This might not be the actual reason.
Profile Image for Bookbabble.
45 reviews
July 16, 2017
If you're looking for a hilarious memoir, this is the one for you. Bonus points if you listen to the audiobook. Gordon's ALLLLIIIIVVVVEE!!!!
Profile Image for Rob Burton.
Author 10 books10 followers
May 22, 2018
I'm afraid I gave up on this. I got to the chapter about Kathleen Hepburn (which was over long and pushed me over the edge) The whole book is just too turgid, too lovey, too how 'Marvellous' everything is, and of course how 'Absolutely marvellous' Brian is himself. Personally I have never seen him act apart from those occasions when he seems to parody himself by just being a big bloke with a big beard with a loud voice - no subtly there, love.

I was sort of interested in some of his other exploits like climbing Everest but personally I don't want to wade through the other me, me, me, stuff - yes its an autobiography and it is about him, but there is no humility, no attempt to flesh stuff out and then there's all that stuff about remembering being born - from the womb to freedom, then being able to see the molecular structure of plants and things with his own eyes and other psychic stuff. Plus he doesn't come across as a 'loveable luvvy' more a boyish bully who is more than quick enough to use his physical presence to intimidate people.

His prose intimidated me right out of the book - so I bailed at about 40%





Profile Image for Gareth.
394 reviews4 followers
May 31, 2022
There’s no one quite like Brian Blessed, and his autobiography is fittingly a bizarre and entertaining read.

Conversational but well-organised, this trip through his childhood and career is by no means a list of parts he’s played, gravitating towards the experiences he enjoyed the most. There’s his childhood obsession with boxer Bruce Woodcock (and thwarted desire to make a film about him); his sometimes fiery friendships with Peter O’Toole and Katherine Hepburn; jobs he’s loved, like Flash Gordon and Star Wars; his brushes with opera singing and boxing; and all sorts about his dad, whom he idolised, through whom he pretty much characterises the Yorkshire town where he grew up. It’s full of his thoughts and ideas, and it doesn’t necessarily go in order. There’s an irrepressible quality to it, as well as a shameless tendency to name-drop - notice how often Brian is instrumental in rescuing a situation from disaster! But he’s a force of nature, so it’s probably all true.

Apart from a truly eye-watering bit about his childhood fascination with dead animals, this is hilarious and life-affirming stuff. Even if I think it’s a bit weird that we’re all obsessed with him shouting “Gordon’s alive!” when, in the film, it’s actually a quiet bit.
Profile Image for Luke.
824 reviews40 followers
July 25, 2022
(Synopsis) - There is no one quite like Brian Blessed. He's an actor, film star, trained undertaker, unlikely diplomat, secret romantic, martial artist and mountaineer. He's also a brilliant storyteller who will - and you must brace yourself - simply leap out of the pages at you.

(Review) - Now this was absolute pandemonium but in a good way, I idolise this man, and he is a hero to me. And honestly i could just leave the review there and say read this book you won't regret it. But as a reviewer i need to go into more detail, so the biggest recommendation i would make for this book is, don't read it, listen to it. Buy the audiobook and lay back and listen to Brian tell you his story himself, it's definitely worth it when he starts talking about Flash Gordon! And by the end of it, the book will have you shouting, "GORDONS ALIVE!" I know, i was. The one thing this book will teach you the most is just to live your life, take every chance and opportunity and just go for it! Be positive, smile, and learn how to live a Blessed life. So finally to end this review probably in Brian Blessed fashion, i think we should all do a giant shout, you ready, 3, 2, 1, GORDONS ALIVE!

5/5 Stars GoodReads 🌟⭐⭐⭐⭐

100/100 GingerPoints 🔥🔥
442 reviews
February 21, 2021
I quite like Brian Blessed as an actor and personality, and I certainly like his voice, so chose to listen to this on Audible.
Fairly typical anecdotal autobiography starting with his childhood and up to the present. Some amusing anecdotes and some good stories about Peter O'Toole, Katherine Hepburn and his time filming Flash Gordon (a favourite in our house)
At times he is a bit repetitive, and a decent editor should have pulled him up on the numerous repeated phrases such as "Needless to say", "We got on like a house on fire" and "It was hilarious". But a decent enough easy read.
Profile Image for Mark Deadman.
47 reviews1 follower
December 17, 2024
Wanted to hear about Everest and mountains but instead was a life less ordinary! Of course along the way, absolute pandemonium. To live greatly, for him, is to embrace the world fully, knowing that laughter and courage are the only armour against the creeping shadows of doubt and fragility that accompany every step into the unknown.

I didn’t expect such an entertaining but sincere book. A true homage to naturally having pronoia when all those around you are often paranoid about something!

Gordon’s alive!
Profile Image for Aaron.
10 reviews
May 25, 2019
The personality of the legend really comes out of every page. GORDON'S ALIVE!
Profile Image for Sarah Whitney.
419 reviews2 followers
April 1, 2021
Definitely worth listening to the audiobook - completely bonkers & so far fetched, Brian Blessed is mad as a bicycle! I lost count of how many times he shouted GORDON’S ALIVE!!!!
Profile Image for Louise.
158 reviews2 followers
June 30, 2020
Absolutely wonderful autobiography. I listened to the audiobook (why would you not?). Early doors Brian advises that the set up is him sat opposite you, roaring for twelve hours. Delightful. I've been crying laughing to work and back the last couple of weeks.

One star knocked off and a warning for the two David Cameron anecdotes.
Profile Image for Dylan Southern.
5 reviews1 follower
December 3, 2020
Rating for audiobook. Must be listened to! Had to stop listening to it whilst in public as I looked insane.
188 reviews
January 31, 2025
Gloriously crazy. When reading, I could most definitely hear him narrating it, but having discovered he narrates the audio book (obviously I guess), that would have provided the final star!
Profile Image for Fredrik.
70 reviews4 followers
January 30, 2016
First off, let me give a word of warning: If (non-determinate) you are planning to read this book, I must insist that you immediately drop that notion and instead listen to the audiobook - read by the man himself - for the true Blessed experience!

Now for me thoughts on the book itself: I, likely like many others, mainly knew Brian Blessed from his memorable part as Lord Vultan in Flash Gordon, a movie certainly not neglected in this life-story, but only one chapter in a string of tall tales literally spanning from birth to (not his own thankfully, but nevertheless) grave, including adventures in theater, mountaineering and international politics. And it's all quite magnificent. Some of them seem a bit too good to be true, especially one episode that just made me throw up my hands and laugh in delighted disbelief, by which I mean; when it's this good, it's also too good to question. True or false, what matters is I left the book with a good smile on my face. Well done, Brian old son!
57 reviews5 followers
March 1, 2016
Not entirely what I'd expected but a good listen none the less. For me, the best thing about this audio book is that Brian Blessed himself voiced it. It took some getting used to listening to his powerful voice tell the story but a few 'pages' in and it felt comfortable; like a larger than life friend keeping me company on the drive too and from work. I felt he spoke rather a lot about other people's lives, particularly around his early acting career. I can understand why but these were the weaker parts of the book for me. I was expecting to hear more about his adventures and personal challenges outside of his acting career, such as climbing Everest, but this didn't really get mentioned until the epilogue (perhaps he's done another book all about this). An average book for me, more for company than content.
Profile Image for John.
1,688 reviews130 followers
November 20, 2016
I think you cannot help enjoy reading this book. His childhood, career, second wife and the making of Flash Gordon is entertaining and funny. I was curious why there was no mention of his first wife and daughter but perhaps he has covered that in a previous book.

I think the best advice he gives is read the book imagining it with his voice. It was interesting to read how he struggled and then had his breakthrough role in Z cars and never looked back. All in all a great read and only wished I had listened to it on audiobook.
Profile Image for Paul Williams.
25 reviews7 followers
October 21, 2015
Brian Blessed a man mountain of mirth and. a booming voice to match gives a detailed account of his life from childhood through to young age....from a young actor to films such as Flash Gordon.
A humorous look at a fine man and a superb human being who i admit am a huge fan of...and i would say a fabulous five star rating is worth this book and in a big booming brian blessed voice.....

ITS BLOOMING BRILLIANT!!!!
Profile Image for Sonia.
225 reviews65 followers
November 4, 2015
This is a book that NEEDS to be 'read' as an audio book. How could you do it any other way? Having Mr Blessed in my head for the time it took me to finish it was a wonderful treat. Every time he shouted "GORDON'S ALIVE!!!" I grinned like an idiot!

So entertaining, pure fun - I loved it!!
Profile Image for Michael Mills.
354 reviews23 followers
March 11, 2016
This morning's unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm - it's Brian Blessed looming into view to make your world a happier place. He clearly reciprocates the great public love for him and that's so wonderful when so many actors seem contemptuous of their public image.

GORDON'S ALIVE!!!
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