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Not Afraid
"The honesty and authenticity in Daniele's writing is truly inspirational. Most books about life are written with kid gloves and give us old school clichés to handle adversity. Daniele has gone through some of the most difficult situations a father, husband, and all around warrior can go through. He gives us an honest look into the pain, heartache, and process of fighting back against things that would bring most to their knees. Everyone can relate to the feelings and thoughts Daniele displays. We can only hope to someday have his strength and conviction to come through and thrive!” —AJ Hawk, 2011 Superbowl Champion with the Green Bay Packers
“A true warrior poet, Daniele bleeds on these pages with fearless vulnerability and uncensored humor." —Aubrey Marcus, writer and CEO of Onnit.com
"Bolelli is a genius warrior philosopher. What he talks about here is the opposite of a victim's mentality. By sharing the emotionally apocalyptic experiences he has gone through, he gives a gift to anyone who is struggling with the dragon of fear and sadness. For me to hear this story and to think of everything that happened to him, and then to think about my own little doldrums that I fall into—suddenly I'm invigorated. Everyone please listen, open your ears and open your hearts to the incredible, the brilliant and the super sweet Daniele Bolelli." —Duncan Trussell, comedian and host of the podcast The Duncan Trussell Family Hour
“An inspiring life story about overcoming fear. This is a necessary task, no matter what you do in life. Whether you are an amateur or professional athlete, you will be able to draw many similarities to your sport. At the same time, this book gives us a great reminder to enjoy the ride while it lasts. Well done Daniele, you did it again!” —Bostjan Nachbar, professional basketball player
This book is a meditation on facing fear, heartbreak, and mortality. It is the story of a man who in rapid succession has his wife die in his arms, loses his house and his job, and is left to care for his 19-month old daughter. Oddly enough, the best tools for coping with all of this were those he learned in more than two decades of the martial arts practice. Not Afraid tackles this extremely heavy subject matter in a lighthearted style and with an attitude that acknowledges pain and suffering but denies them dominion over one’s life.
In his own irreverent and inimitable style, Daniele Bolleli tells the story of his courtship and marriage, which would have been a sweet story had not all hell broken loose. Or as he puts it, “Hell was a ninja who entered my house without being seen. It all began in such an unremarkable way that it barely registered as anything meaningful. Little did I know that the experiences of the next five months would rip me apart and kill me. They would reforge me into a different man. On that day, I became an unwilling traveler on a journey through the heart of fear. Every step along the way has forced me to face my fears time and time again.”
In autobiographical fashion, Not Afraid recounts how martial arts practice and personally relating to fear inducing experiences can affect and shape one’s personality. The result is a page turning book about beauty as well as tragedy, hope as well as despair.
“A true warrior poet, Daniele bleeds on these pages with fearless vulnerability and uncensored humor." —Aubrey Marcus, writer and CEO of Onnit.com
"Bolelli is a genius warrior philosopher. What he talks about here is the opposite of a victim's mentality. By sharing the emotionally apocalyptic experiences he has gone through, he gives a gift to anyone who is struggling with the dragon of fear and sadness. For me to hear this story and to think of everything that happened to him, and then to think about my own little doldrums that I fall into—suddenly I'm invigorated. Everyone please listen, open your ears and open your hearts to the incredible, the brilliant and the super sweet Daniele Bolelli." —Duncan Trussell, comedian and host of the podcast The Duncan Trussell Family Hour
“An inspiring life story about overcoming fear. This is a necessary task, no matter what you do in life. Whether you are an amateur or professional athlete, you will be able to draw many similarities to your sport. At the same time, this book gives us a great reminder to enjoy the ride while it lasts. Well done Daniele, you did it again!” —Bostjan Nachbar, professional basketball player
This book is a meditation on facing fear, heartbreak, and mortality. It is the story of a man who in rapid succession has his wife die in his arms, loses his house and his job, and is left to care for his 19-month old daughter. Oddly enough, the best tools for coping with all of this were those he learned in more than two decades of the martial arts practice. Not Afraid tackles this extremely heavy subject matter in a lighthearted style and with an attitude that acknowledges pain and suffering but denies them dominion over one’s life.
In his own irreverent and inimitable style, Daniele Bolleli tells the story of his courtship and marriage, which would have been a sweet story had not all hell broken loose. Or as he puts it, “Hell was a ninja who entered my house without being seen. It all began in such an unremarkable way that it barely registered as anything meaningful. Little did I know that the experiences of the next five months would rip me apart and kill me. They would reforge me into a different man. On that day, I became an unwilling traveler on a journey through the heart of fear. Every step along the way has forced me to face my fears time and time again.”
In autobiographical fashion, Not Afraid recounts how martial arts practice and personally relating to fear inducing experiences can affect and shape one’s personality. The result is a page turning book about beauty as well as tragedy, hope as well as despair.
288 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2015
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525 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
March 23, 2017
Part memoir, Part Living Our Life of Hard Knocks Manual that is both heart-wrenching and uplifting, visceral and humorous while wrapped in, at times, lyrical prose and always gently led by a very authentic voice of the author (Read Italian accent). Daniele Bolelli, College Professor (who digs deep into Native American Indians history), Martial Artist, MMA Competitor and writer wrote a fantastic book that takes the reader along the eventful arc of his life, laden with heartbreaks and tribulations and how the philosophy and mental- toughness forged through years of Martial Art Discipline and caged fighting that brings to bear Life Skills that help the author to weather the storm and, even, stare down at it, while, flashing a defiant smile that demonstrates refusal to go down as victim of circumstances. Instead, taking a Warrior stance that embraces all that is before him. The last chapter is truly a gem but so are the rest of the chapters before it. Read it! And be inspired by it!
May 23, 2021
“It's possible to go through our time on this ball floating in space without realizing that Fear has been pulling our strings all along. Our inner tyrant has made for us most of our choices—even those we were not aware of making. The fucked-up part about it is that Fear makes it easy for us to go along with this. It doesn't hurt us in an obvious way. It numbs us before injecting us with its poison—a slow form of euthanasia that takes a few decades to come to its conclusion.”
“The enemy that's going to paralyze you with fear is your own sense of self-importance and your excessive ego. The thought of not living up to the image of yourself that you want everyone to see is a source of tremendous anxiety.”
“I am trying to become more than I have been up until now. I don't want to accept my existing limitations as an immutable sentence, or some sort of inevitable destiny. I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of being intimidated by conflict. I am tired of shrinking in the face of hardship. And when a horde of demons will burst out of hell screaming my name, they will not be impressed with how well read I am, or with the fact that I am nice, sweet, and have good manners. The only thing that will matter is whether I can take everything they dish out and have any strength left to laugh in their face.”
“Defeat is not an unfortunate event. Both in combat and in life, defeat is a guarantee. It may show up more or less often. It may take longer than average to find you. But the outcome is never up for debate. Hoka Hey, the Lakota battle cry, is born from this realization.” (Hoka Hey: Today is a good day to die)
“Yes, you will not get out of here alive. But so what? All the more reason to celebrate right here and right now. Let’s pop the champagne before all hell breaks loose. Squeeze every last ounce of orgasmic ecstasy from the present moment. And when the monster finally crawls out from under your bed, at least you’ll have good reason to smile before he devours you. You are already dead. Let’s have a party in the meantime.”
“The enemy that's going to paralyze you with fear is your own sense of self-importance and your excessive ego. The thought of not living up to the image of yourself that you want everyone to see is a source of tremendous anxiety.”
“I am trying to become more than I have been up until now. I don't want to accept my existing limitations as an immutable sentence, or some sort of inevitable destiny. I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of being intimidated by conflict. I am tired of shrinking in the face of hardship. And when a horde of demons will burst out of hell screaming my name, they will not be impressed with how well read I am, or with the fact that I am nice, sweet, and have good manners. The only thing that will matter is whether I can take everything they dish out and have any strength left to laugh in their face.”
“Defeat is not an unfortunate event. Both in combat and in life, defeat is a guarantee. It may show up more or less often. It may take longer than average to find you. But the outcome is never up for debate. Hoka Hey, the Lakota battle cry, is born from this realization.” (Hoka Hey: Today is a good day to die)
“Yes, you will not get out of here alive. But so what? All the more reason to celebrate right here and right now. Let’s pop the champagne before all hell breaks loose. Squeeze every last ounce of orgasmic ecstasy from the present moment. And when the monster finally crawls out from under your bed, at least you’ll have good reason to smile before he devours you. You are already dead. Let’s have a party in the meantime.”
Want to read
March 11, 2016I won this book on 12/29/15 in a Goodreads Giveaway, but have not received it yet as of 2/23/16.
December 31, 2018
Everyone should read this book... and i mean EVERYONE.
February 26, 2024
Once upon a time I took a class at SMC with a professor who I thoroughly enjoyed. Insightful, honest and relatable, I was surprised that a random class at a random time in my life would make such an impact. Fast forward several years later and remembering Professor Bolelli and the irony of reading this book at the point of life I am in now, not one for coincidences and to mention him to my BIL who also met him at CSULB.
Healing and heart-brokenness will take time, grief will sit deep within my soul forever, and reading books about people who have lost as well at times helps me. Some lines from the book stuck with me at the point I am right now. Especially about anger. It made me chuckle because I often think the same ... "there's a teeny tiny chance that I had some anger issues. I clearly hadn't fully dealt with some dark emotions boiling under the surface, and yet I wasn't entirely sure how to deal with them more than I already had."
Also reading about Elizabeth's laughter and being able to smile despite pain and suffering. Although I may have not had those last moments with my partner it did bring a smile to my face to be able to still remember the sound of his laughter and hoping he didn't have pain and suffering.
Although I read the book mostly to see how he coped with his wife's passing, I enjoyed the interwoven stories of how martial arts and non-traditional religion shaped him and also provided him with the comforts and discipline to handle other poignant moments in his life.
Chapter 43 - Truly Badass is Having the Strength to Be Kind When Life is Not
My partner often said "badass" and reading this chapter and having these lines sit with me.
"I don't really know if there's a point to pain and suffering. I am not included to think that there is some deep lesson that some higher intelligence is trying to teach us by fucking up our lives and making us miserable. It's entirely possible that there is no inherent meaning to any of this. However, this doesn't mean that it's impossible to creating something great OUT of suffering - not thanks to it, but in spite of it"
I still have very sad days and hopeful that in time I may rise above and look back to think similarly.
Healing and heart-brokenness will take time, grief will sit deep within my soul forever, and reading books about people who have lost as well at times helps me. Some lines from the book stuck with me at the point I am right now. Especially about anger. It made me chuckle because I often think the same ... "there's a teeny tiny chance that I had some anger issues. I clearly hadn't fully dealt with some dark emotions boiling under the surface, and yet I wasn't entirely sure how to deal with them more than I already had."
Also reading about Elizabeth's laughter and being able to smile despite pain and suffering. Although I may have not had those last moments with my partner it did bring a smile to my face to be able to still remember the sound of his laughter and hoping he didn't have pain and suffering.
Although I read the book mostly to see how he coped with his wife's passing, I enjoyed the interwoven stories of how martial arts and non-traditional religion shaped him and also provided him with the comforts and discipline to handle other poignant moments in his life.
Chapter 43 - Truly Badass is Having the Strength to Be Kind When Life is Not
My partner often said "badass" and reading this chapter and having these lines sit with me.
"I don't really know if there's a point to pain and suffering. I am not included to think that there is some deep lesson that some higher intelligence is trying to teach us by fucking up our lives and making us miserable. It's entirely possible that there is no inherent meaning to any of this. However, this doesn't mean that it's impossible to creating something great OUT of suffering - not thanks to it, but in spite of it"
I still have very sad days and hopeful that in time I may rise above and look back to think similarly.
November 3, 2020
I'm a Bolelli fan already. I really enjoy his brand of humor, his podcasts and his writing. The tone of this book is very typical of his other works, and knowing his voice from the podcasts, its impossible not to hear him speaking when you read. Fun to read, entertaining, tragic, and enlightening.
November 14, 2020
Once again, Daniele Bolelli has a wonderful voice in any medium. His podcast History on Fire led me to discover his writings and I would recommend any of his works to anyone.
January 14, 2025
A very touching life story that displays triumph over hardship. This author has my admiration for rising to the occasion after experiencing the heartbreaking loss of his wife.
December 17, 2015
This book packs an emotional punch, but one that helped me put things into perspective. Life hits all of us in different ways, either mentally or physically, or in the case of Bolelli, both. The journey this book takes you on from his entry into martial arts to the love of his life, to the tragedy that ensues, Bolelli crafts a story that will make you shed tears of your own and counter with a renewed look on life. As a fan of The Drunken Taoist podcast, his other written works and his new podcast History on Fire, I strongly recommend picking up this book. Bolelli pours his heart out onto the pages of this book and will make you the better for having read it.
January 23, 2016
I was craving a book like this for a long time. The radical honesty and authenticity that Mr Bolelli offers in this book makes you feel human. There are no filters and no sugar coating here, only life in it's most raw form. He manages to make you look at the harsh and extremely painful realities of life while, at the same time, making you fall in love with it.
April 8, 2016
Making the connection between his deeply engrained fears, his training in mixed martial arts, his professional challenges, dealing with the tragic loss of his wife and raising his infant daughter as a young widower, this intimate autobiography is essentially one big Life-Sparring exercise.
Highly recommended! Read my take on the book on www.life-sparring.com/blog/2016/03/16...
Highly recommended! Read my take on the book on www.life-sparring.com/blog/2016/03/16...
April 30, 2016
This is one of the most heart breaking and inspiration stories I've ever read. To overcome one's fear and be strong for thosw in need of you being strong. Fear is a part of life but the outcome is already given, so why not make the most of it?
December 30, 2015
Genuine and touching
I loved this book. It's written from the heart and one can literally feel the author's emotions reaching out from the pages. It touched me deeply.
I loved this book. It's written from the heart and one can literally feel the author's emotions reaching out from the pages. It touched me deeply.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews