Writing belonging to Dylan Klebold, onr of Columbine High School shooters. It was found only a couple of days after the shootings in thorough searches of the boys' houses and lockers.
“i don't fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I'll be in my place wherever I go after this life ...”
This was never meant for anyone else to see, Dylan requested that within & on the cover of this diary, but people, myself included, feel we have a right to violate the privacy of a dead man. I won't make up any excuse, all I can say is sometimes it's too late to reach out when people need it, because unfortunately it's often too late. Dylan and Eric are a constant reminder to the world that we can't leave anybody behind.
I relate a lot with Dylan's words, his feelings about being special in a certain mental capacity, like he feels he knows something that the rest of the world doesn't, he feels we are all suffering always with no escape.
He was very sad, sadder than I could've imagined, and even then I'm sure the diary can't begin to show it all. My heart is with him always.
“Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of oneself. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted. love is greater than life even. As I look for love, I feel I can’t find it. Ever. But something tells me I will, someday. Somewhere.” — Dylan Klebold
A dark time, infinite sadness, I want to find love.
Ignorance is bliss happiness is ambition desolation is knowledge pain is acceptance despair is anger denial is helpless martyrism is hope for others advantages taken are causes of martyrism revenge is sorrow death is a reprieve life is a punishment others’ achievements are tormentations people are alike I am different — Dylan me is a god, a god of sadness exiled to this eternal hell the people I helped, abandon me I am denied what I want, To love & to be happy Being made a human Without the possibility of BEING human The cruelest of all punishments To some I am crazy It is so clear, yet so foggy Everything’s connected, separated I am the only interpreter of this Id rather have nothing than be nothing Some say godliness isn’t nothing Humanity is the something I long for I just want something I can never have The story of my existence. — Dylan
"Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of oneself. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted. Love is greater than life even. As I look for love. I feel I can't find it. Ever. But something tells me I will, someday. Somewhere."
Como um ímpio degenerado como Dylan fora capaz de escrever algo envolto de tanta ternura? É estranho como a cólera e a complacência colidem em seu diário. O que fala sobre o amor é tão terno e, a um só tempo, incompatível com suas ações. A psiquê é mesmo anfigúrica e inextricável. Obscura e tortuosa. Certamente, foi fortemente influenciado por Eric.
what he did is inexcusable and his best friend was a fucking nazi but this is just a cry for help. i sometimes wondered if things would have gone differently if he had help or different friends